Countrycide aftershocks
by risa zugva
Summary: I'll follow up Ianto and Jack from Countrycide to Meat, trying to picture how their relationship grew to love. Rated M just to be safe during mentioning of violence, death and some sex.
1. Countrycide aftershocks

**Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood, BBC does.**

**Excuse my language this is my first story in English. Hope you like it.**

**Feel free to leave a note, review or PM :) opinions will be appreciated.**

**My goal is to stay in trails of actual show and to show how it went down to love, I wonder will I stray or will I stay on the path. What do you think?**

**The story is under construction so part of it is and will be beta-ed, but you will get to the rocky parts where betas haven't arrived yet, hope that won't scare you off.**

**Beta's: GlassSplinter, TattooedLibrarian  
><strong>

* * *

><p><em><strong>Spoilers<strong>: Countrycide, Cyberwoman  
><em>

_Here it is, upgraded chapter thnx to my new beta. Enjoy, I did._

_Beta-ed: GlassSplinter_**  
><strong>

* * *

><p>His arms were twitching from exhaustion. He wasn't himself. But then again, this wasn't too bad in itself. Being him was painful.<p>

He wasn't raised to be relaxed, or happy. He was brought up to be up straight, uptight, and always polite. He tried to fight his background during his time with Lisa, but when she died, all of that was erased; he was once again closed, and buckled up. Maybe that's why he held on to her as desperately as he did.

Now when he thinks about it, he knows she died that horrible day in London when the Cybermen came out and attacked them. But he didn't know that at that time. He realized it just before the end. He didn't get it when she tried to kill him, or when she attacked his teammates, or even when she took the body of that poor pizza girl; it was when she told him "We can be upgraded together." After that the the team had shot her as one, four shots in the chest. The pain was too much to bear, and he couldn't think at all.

Later, much later, he heard those words once again. It seemed to him he was hearing those words over, and over again, but couldn't really hear them. "We can be upgraded together." His Lisa would never want to be upgraded into a senseless, emotionless machine, and she especially wouldn't want him to become one too. She'd been obsessed with making him more expressive, more verbal, more emotional. Less controlled. She used to say he was one step away from becoming a robot, but she saved him.

She saved him, and he ruined it all. He plugged himself into another Torchwood structure and became invisible, uninterested in at work, and the people around him. He didn't notice that they cared, that they bled and suffered, just like him. He let the cyber part take over his life; he let himself believe that Lisa was still in there somewhere. Now, he likes to think that she wasn't. It was a scary thought, picturing her in there, in the dark, out of control. That thought led to another, that he was tormenting her while attempting to save her. But that kind of thinking only leads down into darkness, and he doesn't think Lisa would want him to go there. She loved him too much for that. So he carries on for her, not really believing that he would find life where he would be more than a mere automaton.

Actions were easy for him, his hands and legs knew their routine. Conversation was the hardest thing. He came back to the Hub, to the people that killed the Cyberwoman that had possessed Lisa. Or maybe stole would be a better word. Those were the kinds of little puzzles that helped him think as he moved around people who wouldn't even look at him.

Jack did, though, he stared right at him. His eyes were like drilling holes, searching for something. Ianto wondered what that was. Maybe a threat, a knife stabbed straight in his back. He would think something like that, only to shrug it off his back. Ianto wasn't a violent man, he cleaned too many messes for that. Too much blood, scattered bodies left behind. It seemed to him that he couldn't even bear one drop more. The guilt and the horror of dragging Dr Tanizaki through the corridors was enough for him.

They thought that he resented them because of the death of Lisa, and he did in some way. But in another way he knew that he owed them. They did what he couldn't; they put her out of her misery. But he wouldn't confess that to them, because they did it only to protect themselves, not to help her.

Jack didn't kill him, didn't even banish him. That he took as a surprise. But then again, he thought, maybe this was his way of punishing him, to get him to walk through all this pain. That wouldn't be surprising. All the same, he owed Jack something even more, so he kept up cleaning, and bringing him coffee. All the same, Ianto was surprised at how calmly the drinks were taken from his hands. Wasn't Jack a bit worried? After all, he had punched him, called him a monster, and disobeyed his orders. His puzzlement got him distracted from the pain and emptiness, so he followed it through, and began watching his boss more closely.

As he watched, little glitches began to appear; frowns in his flawless face, regrets, sadness, and a kind of absence, as if he wasn't completely there. His flirtatious attitude began to vaporize in front of Ianto's eyes. As much as the man was infatuatingly charming, after their first encounter, he didn't really follow through. What it looked like, from Ianto's point of view, was that he was tired. Ianto could understand tiredness, so he left it at that.

After that, he could manage working alongside the man who'd pulled a gun on him with a steady and angry wish to finish him off. He wondered why he didn't. Maybe it was that look he had when he'd asked if he had ever loved anyone. Their eyes had made contact and he could see something moving behind burning gaze full of rage, something that looked like fear. He knew fear well, it went along with love, with the certainty of loss. When you don't want to lose somebody fear comes creeping in.

This day was all about fear. He felt a depth of fear that he had never felt before. Even when Cybermen tore bodies and Daleks flew from the sky. That threat was alien, the fight was neatly divided between us and them. But this was different. These people looked so ordinary.

He heard Gwen asking Jack to take her in. She wanted to talk to the man that held the butcher axe under his throat. He would laugh, if he could, that she believed she could understand. He understood far too well. Those people just drew the line around their village. Anyone outside was merely meat. No one you could sympathize with. He saw it in their eyes when they "tenderized" him with a bat. They didn't need his reaction, they didn't do it to hurt him, they simply did what was needed to be done so they could eat. His fear came from the fact that he couldn't do anything to persuade them to stop, they weren't interested in his pain. When he was too loud, they simply gagged his mouth so they could talk to each other.

He wasn't sorry he helped Toshiko escape. The little woman couldn't stand that kind of pain. Or could she? What did he even know about her? She talked like she had been trapped many times before. The uninterested computer woman held her gun with steady hands, but even she got trapped, and tied down. They all did, only Jack remained on his feet. He seemed to know how to do that.

His arms were aching now but he supported them on his knees to keep his tired body from tumbling down. He watched the man that saved them from the cannibals helping the desperate Gwen from the house. She looked defeated. Of course, the man with the axe took another bite out of her, if not from her flesh then from her soul. Her belief in human goodness was eaten away slowly by all the monsters that they encountered. The man who saved them from cannibals released Gwen's arm without hesitation when Owen cut in.

The man who saved them from the cannibals stood there alone in the middle of rotating lights, handcuffed villagers, eager policemen, and his broken team, and Ianto knew that he would never again think of him as the man who killed Lisa. He understood now, for the first time, he saw the monster hidden within. The all consuming apathy and lack of compassion of that monster led to a world of terror and pain, where screams are merely distraction from the task of collecting food. His Lisa was consumed by one of those creatures. She became food, and she would feed on him if they didn't stop her. Jack saw that happen, he knew what he was up against. Ianto had needed a serious beating before he understood what that means. Maybe Jack had taken some kind of beating of his own. He sure looked that way when he caught his eyes. He stared back at him with understanding. They just stood there, looking at each other.

That reminded Ianto of the day before when he was still petty and angry. He took an opportunity, and mentioned Lisa. Gwen tried to apologize for her silly game, but he'd snapped her on her fingers with his retort. Tosh and Owen had looked away in discomfort, but Jack just stared at him with disapproval in his eyes. He hadn't let that get to him. But now he thought that he'd been acting childishly. Jack protected him by mentioning that shapeless creature from months ago, and he could say he kissed him that horrible day in the water when he died.

That kiss brought him back to life, and that is why he owes Jack a little bit more. Maybe that was why he resented him little bit more than the rest of the team. He resented that he brought him back. He didn't care how it was done; he felt it while Jacks lips dragged him back from the darkness. There wasn't the time to kiss Lisa one more time, she was gone. So he just pretended that the kiss didn't happen, but now the saliva and the taste came back in his mouth, the colliding of his chin on his, the heat. For a brief moment he forgot his pain. But it all came crumbling down on him when Jack broke contact to talk to the policeman.

"It doesn't matter anyway," Ianto thought to himself. "The pain is all consuming and it won't stop."


	2. Positions and questions

_**Spoiler alert**: Greeks Bearing Gifts_

_Beta-ed: GlassSplinter_

* * *

><p>Jack was worried about Ianto. The young man was acting oddly. He knew Ianto was beaten up because of the cannibal incident, but his recent behaviour wasn't explained by it, and Jack didn't like when his friends acted out of character. Like Tosh the last the couple of days. He didn't know which one concerned him more. Tosh with her out of character questioning, or Ianto with his sudden appearances. It seemed to him that the young man was everywhere.<p>

It seemed to Jack that Ianto was following him. He couldn't shake the feeling that he was always there in the corner of his eye. Normally, he liked Ianto's discreet nature, but with his experience people constantly positioned behind him made him uneasy. The strange thing was that he hadn't felt discomfort from turning his back to Ianto before. Maybe it was because of the utterly inexpressive face he wore around. His face wasn't inexpressive anymore. It seemed like emotions had cast shadows on his forehead, but Jack couldn't figure out which those were. He was used to reading people like a book, but the Welshman has proven to be closed up before him. He held a Cyberwoman in the basement for months. He still couldn't believe he was oblivious to that.

On the other hand, Tosh's uncharacteristic attention is focused on that alien technology they found. That's something he could do something about. The darn thing was more familiar then he would like to admit. After all, he had been at both ends of it.

And if Ianto decides to kill him after all, he can revive one more time and deal with it later. At least that way he will find out if the young man shares the feeling of friendship or it was all faking. He hates when someone he thought was a friend kills him, but he's gotten used to it in time. He even began to review after waking, was the reason for killing him strong enough and justified. If it was he'd carry on like nothing happened. After all, eternity is a very long time to hold a grudge; people die too quickly for that. Later on, he misses them in spite of their betrayal. He understood betrayal all too well.

Toshiko has left early and he put the team at alert. If he was the one influencing Toshiko he would move fast when the right moment came. She was just open and scared enough to trust that someone who is tearing hearts out. The game was to catch that window before all the truth comes spilling out.

The woman's beauty took him by surprise. Tosh was obviously smitten by her, he could see why. Mary wasn't afraid of them, she even put up a speech for them all. Jack didn't need her words. One look in her eyes was enough. Even if he didn't see the bodies, her look told him that her blood lust wouldn't ever be satisfied.

He pressed the button while looking in her eyes. He could lock her in the cells or think of something else, but his sentence was swift for Tosh's sake. He loved Toshiko and didn't want to put her through all that misery that comes when you have to watch someone you love in chains. Somehow, when you love all of someone, bad deeds don't kill the love; they only put you in an endless loop of deciding between forgiveness and damnation. Either way, you're stuck in a limbo wondering whether you made the right choice. That's why he made the choice for Tosh. It would be easier for her to cope without that burden.

On the other hand, Ianto carried on with his odd behaviour. No knives were sticking out off his back, nor was his coffee sweetened with poison, so he got used to the presence. It wasn't all that uncomfortable when the young man leaned behind him.


	3. Shiny revelation

_**Spoiler alert**: Greeks Bearing Gifts_

_Beta-ed: GlassSplinter_

* * *

><p>How Ianto's pain began to whither in the days following the cannibal incident. Ianto discovered a new sensation sliding beneath the pain. It was a warm and fuzzy feeling, and it wasn't all that bad. He felt it only when Jack was near, so he made sure to always be close to him. As soon as Jack was out of sight, the pain came crumbling back in with all its weight. Ianto was puzzled by the feeling, so he kept himself behind Jacks back, that's how he could think about it in peace.<p>

He discovered that watching the line of Jack's back, and how it transformed itself in his shoulders made the feeling stronger, and when Jack turned his head towards something, or someone, on the side, his profile sent shivers down his spine. He was too numb to decide what that feeling meant, but it was something different than the all consuming pain that haunted him from within and out, so he lingered in it.

I was only after Toshiko revealed the nature of her new pendent he began to wonder how his feelings may look like from the side. He interviewed her and it seemed like she had not spotted his dubious feelings. Guilt was on her face, like when she had spoken with Gwen. There was only the sympathetic smile she had had since Lisa had gone. He didn't mind that, she understood.

Jack let him conduct the interview, he knew that Toshiko would talk to him easier than with the others. He turned that interview into something more like a chat. She smiled at him and he thought that they were becoming mates. However, he was faced with the same problem that occurred all the time since Lisa went away. Her smile reminded him of the smile that she used to give him when he saved her from embarrassment in front of others. That happened from time to time, she... He stopped himself from drifting. That was the problem, it seemed to him that every woman had something that would trigger a memory of Lisa. That was still too painful, and it would always end up in images of death, blood, steel and metallic footsteps. So instead of that he went and looked after his new distraction from pain.

Jack was sitting with his eyes closed alone in his office, his foot raised on the shiny surface of the desk, his fingers crossed under his chin. It seemed he was deep in thought. In front of the team he was fierce and confident but here, Ianto just knew, he was thinking about the woman he had just sent to death, and wondering, was he the monster after all? Ianto felt a bit guilty about that, he knew that his words were spoken in anger, and it had hit something deep inside Captain Jack. So he leaned forward and put the report on the desk, his chest slightly brushing on the man's shoulder. Jack jumped, startled.

"Oh, Ianto." He relaxed. "That was quick."

"Tosh is thorough and detailed, it was easy to get the picture." And then Ianto took a step over the line.

"You did well sir. She was deep in trouble and almost suicidal. That woman held no consideration for her. She was only a tool in her hands."

Jack grinned widely at the image and Ianto knew his comment was successful.

"I bet she was a great tool," he winked at him. "I better go and talk to her."

Jack pranced away in his cocky way and Ianto watched him leave. He composed himself and started to straighten up Jack's desk. Only when he caught himself lingering on an image of a naked Jack bent over the shiny desk did he realize what sort of emotions had haunted him during the last couple of weeks. He felt his knees weaken. What the hell was he going to do with that?


	4. Mirror, mirror on the wall

Here is improved version, I love that.

Beta-ed by GlassSplinter, thank you.

* * *

><p>Ianto thought about it for a while. Moreover, he thought, it seemed more logical. Even more, it seemed to be an elegant solution to his problem. He was sick and tired of the pain, fear, and nightmares. He wanted to feel something else, something vivid. He tried to go out and pick up somebody, or let himself get picked up; but the noise, the laughter, the strange faces, the woman that laughs like Lisa, the other one with skin like hers, another one with her posture, her glance, her grace. He would go running from his attempts almost crying, and it seemed like everybody was laughing at him.<p>

After he realized what exactly he wanted from Jack, he went out in search of a man. He discovered a similar difficulty. This one was too tall, that one was too skinny, another too shy, too aggressive, etc. In short, none of them was Jack. He didn't want a man, he wanted Jack. After that, the only question was could he get Jack?

He took his clothes off and stood in front of a mirror. He never reviewed himself in that way before. Tiny mistakes, and flaws didn't bother women, they expected everything from beer belly to back hair. They didn't care, you only needed to act as they wanted you to. Men were a different kind. He knew that, because he watched the world in the same way. They watched closely, and were always measuring, and comparing. Sightseeing, in a way, was very important to a man's hard on.

Toshiko once said that Jack would shag anything if it was gorgeous enough. Was he gorgeous? Sometimes Jack did make him feel that way with his flirtatious comments. But that didn't mean much because he did it all the time, to almost everyone. It was his way of being polite. Sometimes he seemed to do that just to brighten people up, and it worked. He didn't have to shag everyone in sight; he just had to act like he would if it was offered. Gwen was a perfect example of that. She was happy with the thought that she could have him, but she went and slept with Owen, not Jack. Ianto had the conviction that nobody that was able to sleep with the obnoxious doctor Owen would ever submit to Jack. What those two men offered was as opposite as was possible. He didn't want to think about Owen and his diminishing comments. That turned him off instantly.

Instead he focused on the mirror. The image wasn't all that bad. All the work, not eating, and some running had kept him thin. Jack wouldn't mind seeing that in front of him, but how to get to that stage? If Jack had, at some point, expected from him some kind of reply, that was extinguished in the night that Cyberwoman died. He could see it in his angry eyes. Behind the anger there was pain, and a real feeling of betrayal. Jack had thought he was on his side, just to discover that he was seduced, and deceived by an empty suit.

"You hid yourself from us," he said, and the truth was that he hid himself from Jack. Others weren't watching. On the other hand Jack did, very closely. At the time he felt nervous and uneasy under his gaze. He thought that his piercing eyes were searching for his secret. Now when he thinks about it, it looks like he was only admiring the view. Ianto gave the mirror a small smile and felt warmth. That went in his favor.

He threw himself on the bed and went even further in the past to the day he seduced Jack to make up a job for him. That was a horrible day. He knew the pterodactyl was his last chance. He was so tense and desperate that his heart was skipping at every second beat. But Lisa was at stake, so he suited himself up and became the man that Jack Harkness wouldn't resist. The buffed and calm man from his first day didn't work; neither did the begging and pleading man from second day. So, he offered him an action man on that third attempt.

Even through the nerves, while he was blabbing things he could do for Torchwood, Ianto could smell the rich aroma that was Jack. At that time the sensation was suppressed by fear and concentration, but in the rush of catching the pterodactyl he felt pure excitement, almost joy. So when they rolled over and he ended up on top of Jack, noses touching, mouths breathing into each other, he didn't think about Lisa, or the job, he was there, just breathing, not moving. Gravity was pulling him down towards Jack, who was expecting his move, but reality hit him hard, so he got up and walked away from that man. He didn't want to plead anymore. When Jack said he got the job he almost wept on the spot, but he just kept on walking, pretending.

He hadn't even thought about it 'till this moment, but now he stripped his memory from his own emotions and focused solely on Jack. His gestures and expressions, that he learned to read in meantime. Now he could clearly see that Jack was hooked, he wanted more of him, laughing and rolling. 'Till now, he just hadn't cared about what Jack wanted.

He stretched out in bed, satisfied. He was convinced that he could get Jack and that it wouldn't be too hard. After all, he'd made him wait a pretty long time. But now another doubt appeared in his mind. If he reached out and got himself some Jack, could he follow through, or would he hesitate, back down. That wouldn't be good, would it?

Then, he closed his eyes and pictured Jack leaning towards him. The instant shortness of breath, and excitement surprised him. The lack of air was an awakening experience so he let himself linger in it. The night was filled with warm and inviting dreams. Lisa didn't visit him that night at all. She kept her distance.


	5. Counting his sheep

_Beta-ed by GlassSplinter_

_Spoiler alert: Fragments, Cyberwoman_

* * *

><p>Something was different with Ianto that day. Jack couldn't put his finger on it. Maybe it was his imagination but it seemed like he was even better looking than usual. It seemed like he had gotten over the 'behind your back' routine and replaced it with a 'can you see me' attitude. It must've been accidental, nothing Ianto would plan, or would he? If he did, it was a twisted way of punishing him, because he actually enjoyed the view. Stretching, leaning, bending, it was all very welcome, and after a century of lovers and disappointments Jack was able to just enjoy the beautiful sight. After all, they all looked different from a closer position. It took years but they all revealed their fearful and angry side. After they got to know him anger and fear eventually faded away, but only to be replaced with resentment, envy, and accusations. He couldn't really grow old with someone, and that seemed to make a world of difference to many. He didn't grow old fast enough for anyone to see, except himself, and that was too much for vanity of his lovers. He couldn't contain himself in one place and one person so the arguments went on, and on.<p>

It was easier back in the days before the Doctor, before Rose, before the immortality. He was playful and young, and was able to admire and adore almost anything in sight. Centuries later he still played the role, but too much time has roll over him to truly be that innocent in search for flesh and lust. In the first years after the Doctor abandoned him, the anger had consumed him, and he'd been roaming for lovers to punish him and with the others, he pretended he didn't care, that the Doctor hadn't changed him in more ways than simply taking his mortality from him. When those emotions started to drift away from him, he was standing in the middle of Torchwood, tied down by the very same contracts that had granted him freedom. He was spotted, exposed, and even if he wasn't able to stay dead, that didn't give him super strength, or immunity to pain. On the contrary he discovered that far worse things could happen to him than to people that could die. Sooner or later death would come and deliver them from pain. He didn't have that luxury. That's why Torchwood owned him, and he did what they asked him to do.

He wasn't too eager at first, he worked without emotions, like his acts weren't his own, but time had its way of lingering on. As time went on and on, he felt more and more uneasy by some of the things he had to do. For some of them, no matter how horrible they were, he knew the reason, he understood what was at stake, and he just knew it had to be done. For those kinds of things he would put on his smile and carry it through. He felt the burden, and the guilt of that, but times, and resources were limited, the lack of technology was a big factor. That wasn't easy to accept for a limitless 51st century man, but he wasn't in the 51st century anymore. He was stuck, stranded in a year without street lamps, let alone anything else. But time went on and it didn't just take people away; it also brought lamps, electricity and all that wonderful technology. He wouldn't ever again take for granted simple things like radiators and toilets.

Other things he didn't like, and didn't understand, or couldn't find justification for, those kinds of things he started to fight. Sometimes secretly, sometimes openly, but he was taking little steps towards improvement. Towards something he could be proud of. And there were things he was proud to do.

So in time, as the peoples' minds began to change into something almost modern to him, he started to do his job at Torchwood Institute with purpose and meaning. Such was the state of his mind when he found all of his colleagues dead, killed by their leader. Before that he almost felt the joy of a meaningful existence. Torchwood was the closest thing to home he had on Earth, everything else just faded away. That's why he didn't just burn his personal files and run. He had the technology at hand, and he knew how to use it, but still he stayed. However small and before his time, this time and space became his time and space. He didn't just wait for Doctor anymore; he was doing something he could show to the Doctor when he shows up. Or could he? Would the Doctor be proud of this, he wondered through his tears. No, he knew instantly, there were too many compromises, too many sacrifices, too much fear. He would have to do it all over again, from scratch, like it should be, for the Doctor. In that moment he realised he forgave Doctor his departure.

So he went out in search for people, the right kind of people, the ones that would understand. The ones who could feel the need to do right thing, who could care so deeply that they would care for someone they don't understand, for someone who is literally alien, and courageous enough not to stand down in fear. He went out and found them. He was patient, looking for events that would light up someone from within, so that their actions showed their true measurements.

First it was Tosh, turning the world upside down for her mother. It didn't bother him that it was called terrorism at the time. She had done it from love, she'd defied fear, and made the impossible possible, turning the world a little bit closer to Doctor. And it was beautiful. Leaving someone like that in a cell, that was the crime, not saving someone you love.

Later on came Owen with his passion for life, with his love, his loving heart that he hid underneath his cynicism. Jack didn't mind that, because he saw him, he saw his dedication, and sorrow. His will to save others. He needed that, true drive to keep people alive. Most men didn't really understand the need to keep living.

How could he get it so wrong with Suzie, he looked at the trail of blood that took him back to her. The fierceness he had once admired had turned into a cold unsympathetic heart; her determination into obsession. Her almost shy withdrawn nature turned out to be separation from others, coldness towards life and death, even her own.

Luckily that led him to Gwen. He would never have found her by himself. She was hidden beneath her little uniform, buried under hundreds of little tasks. She was all so ordinary, Gwen Cooper, but she was exactly what they weren't, and what they needed. With her compassion, her determinations of what was right and wrong. She stood up to him, defied him, even learned his secret, she saw it with her own eyes. It didn't make him any bigger in her eyes and he needed that, to feel normal. It was comforting to have somebody to stop him when he went too far. He had lived too long not to ignore small steps and the people that stood in the way.

Finally there was Ianto. Jack put the pictures back in the folder; he didn't want to look at them anymore. Instead he stared at Ianto, who was cleaning something at the bottom of the kitchen and was leaning just right. Jack smiled; maybe he was doing that just to brighten him up. If he was, it was a success. Ianto was different than the others; Jack didn't have that kind of clean overview of Ianto. Maybe it was because of his closed up exterior, or maybe it was because Ianto was always one step ahead of him. He would only think about his coat, and Ianto would already have it in his hand, or his coffee, file, or telephone. That's why he so rarely had an opportunity to stop and look at him, to really see him.

That might be it. That and the fact that Jack didn't find Ianto, didn't have the chance to form an opinion of him before he was spotted. Ianto found him, and spinned him around until he complied to his demands. He did that in the end out of pure child like playfulness he hadn't felt in years. Let's see what would happen, he thought to himself, imagining wild sex and conquest, he surely didn't expect a Cyberwoman in the basement. Ianto came in and became an invisible part of the hub, okay, not invisible, rather an enjoyable sight for sore eyes, but just a sight. Even though he was madly efficient, Jack didn't really think of him as a part of his team. He was just an employee. After all, he only got to see the suit, and some small smiles.

Ironically, it was only after the reveal of Lisa, and her death, that Jack started to consider Ianto as part of his team. Sure it looked like betrayal, it felt like betrayal, but in fact it was a stepping stone of trust, the kind that the others have passed before joining. It was an attempt of terrorism, like the one that Toshiko did for her mother. He endangered them all, but that wasn't his intention. It was a desperate try to save someone you love, like Owen had tried for his fiancé. And in midst of it all, when he was discovered, he charged at him with a full on righteous rage, that even Gwen wouldn't easily match. Through that long and terrible day, Ianto showed himself for the first time, and all the love, compassion, and courage that Torchwood needs was there to see. He didn't like to think on the angry words that Ianto had said that night; they stirred something inside old captain Jack, desires and needs that never really get fed, not really. That's why he would've rather worked than persuade shadows that always turned into something cold and distant. That's why Jack turned away from Ianto who was stretching to reach something, and got back to action.


	6. Trading souls

_Spoiler alert: They Keep Killing Suzie_

_Beta-ed: GlassSplinter_

_Enjoy_

* * *

><p>By action Jack meant bringing back Suzie. He decided to let Gwen do it. By now they should be prepared for anything.<p>

Of course they weren't, of course something unexpected happened. Suzie was stuck on this side, and just the thought of her being stranded like this forever made him want to go down there and shoot her. Gwen must have seen that when she looked at him. Otherwise she wouldn't have done what she did. She would've tried to debate, and convince him, but she had seen death in his eyes. And now she was driving to meet her own death, and there was nothing he could do about it. Damned Suzie and her brilliant planning, she was too good at everything, why couldn't she be good at people, good with people. She poured on him that act of self pity and he missed the opportunity to shoot her right there and then.

"I've got reception, sir," said Ianto suddenly, saving the day.

"How did you do that," asked Jack with disbelief. "We're sealed off"

"Just used the water tower as a relay," answered Ianto, like it was a simple thing to do.

Jack was impressed.

"Nice work Ianto," he said with a smile. "But who the hell do we phone?"

That question uncovered alarming fact that none of them had anyone to call, not without loads of explaining. They needed Gwen back, she would surely had loads people she could call. He remembered that policewoman from this morning, she gave him a card. Fortunately she was willing to help them after she was done with all the teasing. That was uncomfortable but bearable.

Unbearable was killing Suzie; it was just over the top, her laughing, her gloating, and her putting the blame on him; like he hadn't had enough of that. Perhaps the worst part was that she believed that she'd absorbed the uniqueness of Gwen, that she had consumed her soul. That got him over the edge. He'd hesitated before, it was hard to look at that face alive and moving, and not to think about the good things she had done before. But that moment of pure triumph, when she'd thought that she had thought of everything and that she has taken something that made Gwen better than her, then he could clearly see that she wasn't the women he admired in the past. That woman might have not even existed; maybe it was all a show of the people she consumed. Killing was terrible, but death came as a relief. The sound of Gwen gasping made feeling even better. He'd traded Suzie for Gwen, this time on purpose. The weight of that decision was heavy on his shoulders. It was the right thing to do, but he didn't like it. He hated to be the one that decides on life and death, when he can't die himself. It didn't seem fair.

On the way back Owen held Gwen, he didn't let go. Beside them lay the dead Suzie. When they arrived Owen took Gwen inside, but Jack couldn't go after them. Ianto looked at him, and once again knew what he needed. He took Suzie's body and left him alone standing. He went out to watch the blue sky, and the sun. But that wasn't enough. He went inside; there were people he trusted.


	7. Careful steering

_Spoiler alert: They Keep Killing Suzie_

_Beta-ed: GlassSplinter_

* * *

><p>While Ianto was driving Suzie's body down to the morgue he thought about this long day, night, and new day. He didn't feel exhausted like he should. He felt alive. He'd never before appreciated what being alive meant, because once you step out through those gates of death, there's no turning back, not unless you're some kind of a monster, freak, or at least a thief of life.<p>

He considered Suzie, who lay before him, and he felt no compassion for her. She was the person who couldn't love, she didn't even love herself. Ianto didn't understand why she would want to live like that, because life without love was barely liveable. He should know.

The day before began ordinarily. He thought about ways to cross his path with Jack's, but nothing seemed to fit. He was convinced that it was just daydreaming, that he wouldn't really act upon it, but then Owen asked about a cool name for the glove. He was good at that, word games, so he spoke up. The others were surprised, and so was he. But the name stuck, and he was quite pleased with that. He was heard. Then he was standing with his stopwatch in the medical bay, part of a team. Nobody asked him to fetch a coffee, and he had a task. Of course then Owen had to put him down, but his comment missed the target.

"Give Ianto a stopwatch and he's happy." Ianto smiled, that sarcasm of his was becoming something familiar.

"It's a button on the top," he replied, and a curious thought came into his mind. His mouth curved into a little smile, and his eyes touched Jack. Why not, he thought to himself.

When they went out to find out more about Suzie Costello, Ianto sat down, and started a new list. Not a list of groceries, or a list of chores, he started a list of things you can do with a stopwatch. It was fun because it took quite careful steering to get to the one thing he wanted without losing control. Because Ianto wanted control, he wasn't going to plead for anything, but wouldn't mind if he got asked, politely. He smiled to himself.

He was in a good mood when they came back so he cleaned up the kitchen, it used up his energy very successfully. But Jack was watching, and that ruined his effort to focus.

In the medical bay, in midst of the efforts of waking up Suzie, he experienced a brief moment of fear. Jack stroked Gwen's hair. No, not her, she was all wrong for Jack, she wasn't what he needed. She was messing around with Owen, which meant that she liked to be better than others. No one can be better than Jack. You have to choose between them, and she did. She chose the "I'm so bad a person" routine. Besides, she challenged him too much. That was fine at work, but he was already too much in thought, too worried, too sad, like he's old. He needed somebody to cheer him up, to brighten the mood, to take care of him. She didn't have what it takes. It seemed like Jack knew that because the moment passed, and he let go like he always does.

Ok, Ianto thought, that was over reacting, it's not like he has all that takes, all that Jack needs. But at least he has his list, a little game, something fun that would brighten him up sometime in the future.

In the office, when Jack took out the knife, everyone looked at him expectantly, it was nice. He took a moment.

"Life... knife," he said thoughtfully and Jack looked pleased.

Ianto was pleased too, it seemed like his plan was working. But then Suzie stayed awake. He was holding his stopwatch; he didn't look at the fuss that started around Gwen. Jack jumped, then Owen jumped, but Ianto wasn't watching because he waited to press the button, only her heartbeat didn't stop. That drove the attention off Gwen, but also put Jack in an alert mod. That modus operandi was completely sexless. All his efforts went to waste, and that energy that he provoked in Jack was burned into anxiety and anger. At least that's what he thought.

He was rewarded for his word games, Jack didn't forget that. When they went looking for Max, Ianto took his ear piece and went to pick up the garbage. He didn't have a special desire to be near Suzie, and even less near Suzie and Tosh together again. They never had a good relationship, not only because of Owen, but more because there was a rivalry between them. Tosh was feeling like Suzie had cheated.

Ianto was pleased that he was alone when Jack put on a show for him. He could let himself smile and imagine that moment of prancing.

"That was for Ianto," he said loudly so that everyone could hear. "Risen mitten, life knife, and a good old fashioned stun gun."

You can stun me any day sir, Ianto thought to himself. He would later find footage from Owens video and savour that moment.


	8. Verses in the dark

_Spoiler alert: They Keep Killing Suzie_

_Beta-ed: GlassSplinter_

* * *

><p>"Ianto, Ianto," Jack was calling him when Hub went into shut down.<p>

"Captain," Ianto replied in the same way, mocking him just a little.

It was dark, he had a flashlight, and Jack was looking down at him. It could've been fun if there wasn't an 'all life is leaving Gwen' situation. He was surprised that Jack thought that he was the one who'd started the lock down, and even more that he thought he could reverse it. Jack obviously thought he could fix just about everything broken down here. It wasn't all that bad if he thought that. He watched them for a moment fussing and trying to find a solution, and then he realised there was one thing he could fix, so he hooked up his phone to the water tower. Jack's surprise was worth the effort.

Standing there in the back with nothing to do, listening to verses spoken to the dark, and looking at Owen's count down on Gwen's life, Ianto couldn't help but fall down into a darker mood, where his childlike behavior seemed distant. He felt nothing towards Suzie; he didn't have a reason for why he would. He knew her only for a few months, and in that time she hadn't done anything to show that she knew he was there.

On the other hand, Gwen with her stupid games, in wrong moments that make people uncomfortable and ashamed, or just gloating; with her constant yelling, arguing, resisting, investigating, and knowing. He'd discovered that he cared for her and he didn't know her any longer than Suzie. Maybe it was because she stood up for him in front of a raging Jack, (and a raging Jack is not a pretty sight), even after Lisa strapped her up in a conversion unit. Or simply because she looked at him, noticing him behind the coffee.

While Owen and Jack drove off he stood behind Toshiko. They stood there listening to the silence and brief conversation. He couldn't help but notice that the others also preferred Gwen. He thought about it, why it was that way. It wasn't just because Suzie became a killer, in Torchwood life and death weren't so clearly defined. It was something more fundamental. It was the version of themselves that they were with them. Since Suzie woke up, there was confusion, like everyone didn't exactly know who they were.

With Suzie around Ianto was more blank and withdrawn than usual lately. Owen was all nerves, and Toshiko just stared at the screen. Jack was edgy, ready to burst. Ianto knew why they all preferred Gwen.

With Gwen, Owen's sarcasm became almost fun, he had a perfect target, and she would just smile and say don't tease me. Toshiko became cute and shy under Gwen's prying eyes; she didn't mind the attention and questions. Jack became a tutor and protector of little Gwen Cooper, and at the same time his temper got a safety button. Ianto, well she had no impact on Ianto. Ianto lost his Lisa, that's what changed him. So why would he care. For all he knew she's just competition, nothing more. But then he remembered.

In the moment he never thinks about, when the butcher men held a blade on his throat ready to spill his blood, when he felt terror like nothing before, sensing death, bloody and messy, and Jack came to the rescue. When that butcher dropped him on the ground Gwen jumped and caught him. She held him until Jack and Owen came and separated them. In that moment he barely noticed it through the pain, and disbelief at his survival. And of course there was Jack and his boots. They stole away all the attention. Ianto never thought he would ever enjoy so much watching someone shooting a shotgun. But Jack aside, she held him in spite of her own wound, and he felt safe, like she would protect him. And he knew she would try. It seemed that made the difference between apathy and caring.

He'd discovered that caring made him edgy. For the first time he wished that he could be there with them doing something, not helplessly listening in safety. Listening to Jack's shooting, Owen's yelling, Suzie's mocking, made him pace around, so when Tosh shouted the gun code he just grabbed it and tossed it through the air. Tosh made a perfect hit and then the silence came, it was brilliant. Gwen was alive. That came as a relief. Without her the Hub would once again become a quiet place disturbed only by typing and the spinning processors. He didn't mind the yelling, not anymore.


	9. Timing

_Spoiler alert: They Keep Killing Suzie_

_Beta-ed: GlassSplinte_r

* * *

><p>Ianto stood beside Suzie's dead body, and wrote down the notes and descriptions of her waking and death, so that some other Torchwood operatives would know what they're dealing with, because none of them would ever forget this day. Especially Jack, who had to stand over her and shoot. But like he said, he was the boss and he was obliged to do things the others wouldn't do. He couldn't leave it up to Owen. Owen was too entangled with both women to make such a choice. Jack on the other hand could, he had that kind of overview on people around him. He could see their lives like a moving line that's moving towards death very fast, and he could see what kind of world their choices were creating. He could see that, but man, was he tired. Tired of deciding, of running, and turning people into monsters, just to kill them later on. The fact that Suzie didn't do all this for her father, not for love, but for hatred, so that she got to kill him more than once, didn't make it any easier. Maybe it was worse that she was a person filled with hate all along, and he didn't notice. But even that didn't change the fact that all of them, no matter what choices they make, will someday be in her place, frozen in a drawer.<p>

"One day we'll run out of space," he sighed.

"If you're interested," began Ianto suddenly without an obvious connection, "I've still got that stopwatch."

Jack looked at him bewildered.

"So?" He couldn't make sense of that statement.

"Well, think about it. Lots of things you can do with a stopwatch," said Ianto with a small, almost unnoticeable smile showing on his face, and Jack got it.

"Oh, yeah," his grin widened, "I can think of a few." Pictures of naked bodies unravelled in his mind.

"There's quite a list," Ianto sounded pleased, and while Jack was looking at him his smile became visible, his eyes sparkling.

"I'll send the others home early," he looked at his watch, "See you in my office in ten." He looked at Ianto steadily to confirm that he was serious about this.

"That's ten minutes and counting," said Ianto with a relaxed smile and held Jack's gaze. Stopwatch ticking filled the space between them.

Jack's mind strode ahead towards something pleasurable, something he didn't expect. He wasn't going to be distracted with death and guilt, he would find enjoyment, like he always did, in things that life throws his way. It was easy to get rid of the team, they wanted to go and forget, and he didn't care in what ways. Gwen leaning on Owen distracted him for a moment, but then he reminded himself that she'd done it to herself, just like Suzie had done it all by herself. In spite of their small lives they did own themselves. He came to his office early, what should he do to prepare? He didn't know, because he didn't know what to expect. He loved that, not knowing what was ahead. Because he knew that Ianto would notice anything moved in his office he sat behind the desk looking busy. As the hand on his clock turn towards the last minute he became nervous. Was Ianto just teasing? It wouldn't be surprising.

Ianto entered through the office door right on the dot. Seemed like this was going to be all about the right timing.


	10. Drinking competition

_Spoiler alert: They Keep Killing Suzie_

_Beta-ed: GlassSplinter_

* * *

><p>Ianto had gotten ahead of himself; he hadn't thought this through enough. He would have wait for a better moment, he would do it properly. But when Jack entered the room and leaned on the drawers filled with corpses, he looked so tired, so broken down, off guard. Like his wings were folded around him, shielding his wounds. Ianto didn't like that look on him, and, accidentally, was able to offer the one thing that would get him up and going. It wasn't an easy thing to offer, so he turned it into a stopwatch game. The confused look on Jack's face gave him courage, he was one step ahead; Jack wouldn't see this coming. But he quickly caught up and gave one of his best inviting smiles. He launched himself off of the wall and strode towards the future like he always did. Ianto was pleased with that response, so much that he called him Jack. He should've stopped there, his glove joke didn't pass very well. Jack looked so worried that he thought that it'd spoiled everything. Nevertheless he put the lock on Suzie's drawer, she wasn't going to sneak up on them again.<p>

When he entered the upper floor everyone was gone, so he picked up two coffees and went to Jack, who still looked a bit annoyed. That was not the mood he was hoping for.

"So," Jack spoke while he placed the coffee on his desk, "is this going to be a coffee drinking competition?"

Ianto covered his smile with his cup. So that's what the annoyed face was about, he didn't like to wait. He could use that.

"No, sir, I was thinking that was just refreshment, but if you want..."

Jack got up and walked around the table.

"No." He leaned on the table knowing how he looked in that position, inviting and...

He had to focus or else Jack would take the lead like he always did. He took the clipboard that he carried under his arm, and pulled the pen from his pocket.

"So there really is a list." Jack tried to see what it said, but Ianto pulled it back up.

"Well sir, you wouldn't want to spoil it, would you?" He looked at him steadily, and Jack backed down with a satisfied frown on his face.

"Never would, Ianto." He pronounced his name like he sometimes did, as if it was an exclamation. "So, what's on the menu?"

"First things first," said Ianto, looking at his list. "Clothes," he pronounced it in that long welsh manner that Jack loved.

"What about clothes?" Jack was confused. Ianto took out his stopwatch.

"Your clothes sir, they do rather get in the way, get rid of them." He pushed the button and sat on the couch holding the stopwatch in one hand, pen in the other, clipboard in his lap. He looked so ordinary, only his eyebrows showed his amusement.


	11. Press the button for resistance

_No spoilers._

_Beta-ed: GlassSplinter_

* * *

><p>The clicking of the stopwatch filled the space between them. Jack stood there feeling uncomfortable. Not by the request of stripping his clothes, he was very keen to do just that. But with the dry humour that was in Ianto's eyes. It wasn't very inviting, but then again maybe that wasn't the point. It was a challenge of some kind, and Jack wasn't one to back down. That's why he started to undress. He started like he always did, with the cufflinks on his shirt. When he unbuttoned the first cufflink Ianto pressed his stopwatch button and wrote down a number.<p>

"What was that?" asked Jack, keeping his voice steady.

"Just how long you resisted orders," Ianto said with small smile.

"Oh, so," Jack started to grin. "This game will have hidden rules. I like that."

He took his time in undressing, and was rewarded with a tapping of a pen on the clipboard. Ianto wanted to play with nerves, he could do that. He didn't put on the show like he would for a more enthusiastic audience, not that he thought that Ianto wasn't enthusiastic, he just didn't want to show it. That's why he held himself down, making his undressing flat and unflirtatious. But that didn't mean he didn't tease, or that he would give in so easily. He unbuttoned his shirt, but he didn't take it off. He left it hanging loose showing just his white t-shirt. He unzipped his trousers, but left them on his hips, just hinting at what's underneath. His boots and socks went flying across the room, he didn't need them. His belt and suspenders were threatening the position of his pants so he threw them away too. At that point he stopped. Ianto ironically raised one eyebrow.

"Obviously I pressed the button for obedience too early, sir." Ianto's voice sounded like he was purring.

"I have a policy, who wants to see the rest needs to give a hand." He tilted his head and gave him his ordering look.

"Whatever you want, sir," said Ianto with a small smile.

He left the clipboard and the stopwatch on the couch and got up. He approached Jack quickly, and with a few swift movements undressed him completely. He barely touched him in the process. He tucked his palms between his shirt and undershirt and with a small movement lifted the shirt and let it fall down on the floor. He then grabbed the edges of his undershirt and just brushing his skin pulled it up, over his head and down. It seemed like his trousers fell free all by themselves. He'd just tucked his fingers in between his skin and fabric, then stretched the material so that his erection got free, after that it all just fell down.

"See it wasn't all that hard, was it sir?" said Ianto mockingly to his face, which was just an inch away.

"You..." Jack stepped forward, but Ianto stepped backwards and slipped away.

He turned his back to Jack and took the clipboard and stopwatch from the couch. He actually wrote down numbers. Jack was beginning to feel irritated. He had to turn this game to his favor. By now he'd got too little touch, and too much teasing. He wasn't in the mood for that. It was time to change the rules. With that in mind he turned back to his desk and sat on it, leaning back on his arms and lifting his foot onto the surface of the desk. He knew how that looked.

Ianto turned around and Jack was rewarded with a startled look. Color rose to Ianto's cheeks; he held his breath and fixed his gaze on the list.

"Well..." he said and left it hanging there. The stopwatch was still ticking. Wonder what he's really measuring, thought Jack.


	12. Clicking and writing

_No spoilers_

_Beta-ed: Glass Splinter_

* * *

><p>Ianto approached Jack's table and put his list down on the desk. It was time to improvise, Jack was gaining the advantage. He was able to get him out of his clothes, but he wasn't going to let him dance around him and poke him without giving in. That's why Ianto slid along the table and leaned against the surface of the desk, palms pressed firmly on the cold top. All that, he managed to do without touching Jack. They stared at each other, neither of them backing down. Ianto was intensively aware of Jack's smell, his exposed skin, flawless torso, and pulsing erection that he didn't dare to look straight at, yet. But he stood firm. He would decide how he wanted this to go down and he knew he didn't have much longer before his own burning need forced him to break down and beg.<p>

"What do you need sir?" Ianto asked with his best polite voice and looked straight into his eyes.

That made Jack chuckle, easing the tension.

"Your clothes, Ianto," said Jack, imitating him. "They kind of annoy me." He reached for the stopwatch. "Actually, can we see how fast you can strip down?" He pressed the button and Ianto started to untie his tie. He didn't hesitate, but he didn't rush it either.

"There's no need for the stopwatch sir, I need one minute and twenty seven seconds to undress."

"Really?" said Jack with disbelief in his voice, not taking his eyes away from Ianto's hands. They were moving so methodically; like they always did. As he watched, Ianto untied his tie, and folded it neatly. He unbuttoned his jacket with one hand while walking towards the couch, then put everything down in neat piles. He efficiently unbuttoned his shirt, revealing pale skin underneath. Jack found himself breathless. Watching how Ianto unfolded his everyday suit and exposed the bare skin beneath was surreal. It was like he was sharing some private ritual of his with Jack. His naked torso was an overwhelming sight, but the rest made him want to jump over and pin him down to the ground. But he controlled himself, that wasn't what Ianto was after.

"Watch, sir." Ianto reminded Jack while he was folding his socks. He was pleased with response.

Jack pressed the button and to his surprise it showed exactly one minute and twenty seven.

"How did you do that" asked Jack confused, but he lost focus because Ianto approached the desk and leaned to write down his time on the list. He was just an inch away and Jack could smell him, sense his body heat. It was clearly shown that he is aroused, but he didn't charge.

"Ianto..." said Jack with plead in his voice.

"Yes, Jack?" asked Ianto with satisfied frown and pronouncing his name with hard end like it was tick; he leaned towards Jack, still not touching. "You want something?" He raised his eyebrows in that innocent manner, which threw Jack of the grid.

"You, Ianto" Jack growled.

"Well, Jack, that can be arranged."

He placed his palm on his cock gently. That one touch was enough to throw Jack down on the table. Less is really more, thought Jack to himself while Ianto explored his skin with his hands and lips. He didn't feel the need to reciprocate, Ianto wasn't asking, he was giving.

Jack almost choked when Ianto finally took his cock into his mouth. By that moment he craved for the climax but Ianto wouldn't get him off that easily. He whimpered when Ianto left him out in the cold air.

"Please Ianto," said Jack without opening his eyes.

"Did I hear the magic word?" whispered Ianto in Jack's ear. Jack heard the stopwatch button click, and the pen scribbling, then Ianto turned him around with his other hand. Jack found it all very calming, he would soon get his climax and he will be able to move again. Investigating fingers were welcomed with humming, it wasn't surprising that Ianto had managed to find some lube, but where did he get so, oh... Jack's calmness started to fade away.

"Oh, my dear god," Jack straightened himself up when Ianto thrust his cock inside him.

"Is something wrong?" Ianto stopped his movements.

"No, it's perfect, keep going," said Jack, and supported himself with his hands firmly on the desk. Ianto continued his movements in a more careful manner, but it didn't change the fact that Jack felt like he had electric impulses up his ass. It was a wonderful sensation. Jack can't remember when he had lover with that kind of tension in his cock.

Ianto wrapped one hand around his torso and leaned on his back, pressing his face against his skin. His breath slid down his spine. Other hand traced down and embraced his cock in a safe grip. Jack felt almost safe in that position, secure covered with warm flesh, but that wasn't going to get him to climax. Ianto evidently had ideas about torturing him much longer. Jack wasn't in the mood to sustain that so he took the rhythm into a more suitable pace. He squeezed and pulled, and found, with satisfaction, that Ianto lost control and gave into pounding. They went off almost simultaneously.

Jack fell on the table shaking. Ianto sustained himself upright, resisting the urge to spread himself across Jack's back. He pressed the button and wrote down a number.

"Well," he said, looking around. "At least I will know where to clean... tomorrow."


	13. Cheeky challenge

_No spoilers  
><em>

_Beta-ed: GlassSplinter  
><em>

* * *

><p>Jack spread himself across the couch and watched Ianto getting dressed. It was almost as fascinating as the sight of him undressing. Almost. All that tucking, straightening, zipping, it seemed like he needed twice as many movements to button up his shirt than to unbutton it. The amazing thing was, that at the end of it he looked like nothing had happened. If Jack wasn't naked and spent, he would think that it was all was just some trick that the rift pulled on him.<p>

"See you tomorrow then, sir." Ianto pulled up his polite smile. "Lack of sleep is getting to me."

"Sure thing Ianto. Get some sleep for me too." He gave him one of his reassuring smiles and Ianto went through the door. Jack listened to the sound of his footsteps on the floor, the cog door opening, and then silence, the all too familiar silence.

Was this still the day he shot Suzie Costello? No, he smiled, because Ianto performed the miracle of undressing. He would never remember this day as the day he killed Suzie, no; this would be the day Ianto finally took off his clothes. And it would be a good memory, one of those he'd save to remind himself that there would always be some hidden beauty on the way. It was only a few hours after Suzie's death, but even now he couldn't hold on to that memory, because naked Ianto stood between. He could always count on Ianto to get him what he needs. That was funny considering all the lies, the betrayal, the fist in his face, all the angry promises, and dead girlfriend. It seemed that Ianto couldn't give false promises. In spite of his deception he kept his part of the deal. Now he even gave what was implied in their first encounter. The strong silent man did have his way with him. Jack chuckled and looked at the table and the mess that they'd made. His gaze fell on the clipboard that lay on the desk. Ianto'd forgotten his list. Jack grabbed it and lay back on the couch.

"Let's see Ianto," he whispered.

He smiled, the list was so Ianto. Neat straight lines that formed a table with estimated times, and achieved times. Reading through the "List of things you can do with a stopwatch," made Jack realize a couple of things.

First was that he should trust Ianto in the future, and let him do things his own way. There was nothing on that list that he would mind, on the contrary.

Second thing he realized, was what Ianto was really measuring. He was measuring how long it would take for him to subdue Jack. He'd either overestimated Jack, or underestimated himself, but he beat his estimations by far. The only thing he did underestimate was the time it would take Jack to undress, he didn't expect any struggle there.

The first half of the list was how fast things were, they hadn't even gotten to the second part where there started the how long questions. Well, there were some things he could easily beat. Especially how long he could sustain his erection. Poor Ianto would regret that understatement. Oh my, he and Ianto could have some good times.

He got to the end of the list and realized that Ianto didn't forget the list, oh no, he'd left it on purpose. It was a challenge. To think that Jack would need three full days to subdue him was too cheeky. No sir, no chance of that. He wouldn't call him now, that would be pleading and Ianto would write it in his scores, but first thing in the morning he would have some Ianto and then off to work.


	14. Reports and pizza

_No spoilers_

_Beta-ed: GlassSplinter_

* * *

><p>Ianto threw himself on the bed, exhausted. Lack of sleep was getting to him, but he didn't fall asleep instantly. His body still had a reminiscence of excitement. He'd done it, he'd gotten Jack spread across his desk and it was brilliant. If it was possible it was better than he expected. He'd lain there like some exotic meal, and tasted just as good. He'd felt on his palms the texture of his skin and it was like that feeling erased all others. He'd been right, that was exactly what he needed. Besides exhaustion he didn't feel that weight in his chest, or pain in his head, he felt almost light. Now he only needed to watch out, so that Jack didn't catch him off guard, and the score would stay on his side. The rift would help him with that just fine; during normal days it seemed they didn't have any time to stop, let alone do anything else. When he finally fell asleep his dreams were a steady flow of touch and smell. He hadn't slept that well in ages. Of course he didn't hear his alarm clock, he overslept it; well, Jack won't fire him over that, will he. He smiled at that notion and got dressed with more care.<p>

In the hub all was as usual, the rift alarm, Toshiko reporting, Jack on the move, Owen behind him. Only Gwen was little slower, a little quieter, but she looked much better than the day before. All was as usual with weevil hunting, artefacts sorting, reports filing, recording all the mess from the day before, reports for the police that had helped them. This time it was almost a truthful report. Jack felt obliged by their help. Later on when a moment of silence came and they all shared a meal together, he positioned himself as far from Jack as possible.

"What do you think Gwen," started Owen between bites with his trademark snort, "did our tea boy get some last night? He sure looks like someone wore him out last night."

"Owen!" Gwen warned him but couldn't quite hide the amusement in her voice.

"Seriously," insisted Owen, "he almost looks like he has a colour. You should get us out more often Jack, it's good for morale."

"I knew you were after something," growled Jack with a grin; he kept his gaze locked on Owen. "What, last night wasn't long enough?"

"You know me, there's always something to be scored." Owen said with cheeky smile.

"If I let you out more often, there'll be nothing left of you. We would have to scoop you up with a broom. So, you see, I'm doing you a favour when I ask for a full report, not a scramble like this, so do that again. This time try to make everyone understand you, not just Ianto." Jack threw a pile of papers Owen's way. Ianto couldn't help but smile, which he then hid with a bite of pizza.

That was nice, but he wasn't going to give in that easily.


	15. New strategy

_No spoilers_

_Beta-ed: GlassSplinter_

* * *

><p>Jack was annoyed. It was a dirty trick to be late for work. Ianto usually came in first, almost a whole hour before the rest of the team. That gave Jack just enough time to even things out. This way he had to wait, and he hated waiting. Throughout the whole day Ianto had kept himself in plain sight, where everyone could see him. He'd done it on purpose. Jack couldn't even go over there and tease. It wasn't very nice of Ianto to stand there with a smile on his face. Ianto was just rubbing salt on his wounded pride. He would wear out that annoyingly dressed man, just give him time. Time, he remembered, that he didn't have much of. If he didn't change the rules soon, he would be a whole day behind schedule. He can't have that. Why couldn't Ianto go to the archives, like he usually does, then he could go and find him. That gave him an idea, but he'd have to make more time for that. He knew the young man wouldn't submit with Owen sniffing around.<p>

There was something buried in the pile. Gwen would surely be hooked by the missing children that came back with amnesia. Beauty was, he already knew the answer, and that answer needed all three of them. They needed Toshiko to analyze residual energy patterns, and the technology stranded in their hair, Owen to examine and take samples, and Gwen to piece things out. The distance from their district was just so convenient, Jack almost laughed at his genius.

"Ianto!" he yelled while stepping on the stairway. "I'll need file WX356-4, it's in the personal data section." First he needed him out of the way so that he wouldn't slip away. "Could you get it for me?"

"Yes, sir," he said steadily, but doubt showed in his eyes.

"Rest of you, boardroom."

It didn't take long to get them on their way.

"And you Jack?" Gwen paused by the door. "You're not going?"

"I need to sort out Suzie's file," he said shamelessly. In some twisted way Suzie did get him on this path, and her name efficiently put Gwen off his trail.

"Oh, well, ok." She said softly and went after the others.

He looked through the window of the boardroom. It only took them few minutes to grab their gear, and they were off. The cog door rolled back in their place and the Hub went into silence. Jack turned around toward his office. He would need a few things to make his idea more comfortable.


	16. Trail of crumbs

_No spoilers_

_Beta-ed: GlassSplinter  
><em>

* * *

><p>Ianto emerged from the archives a few moments later. He heard the cog door, and thought that he was alone in the hub. At last he could relax for a while, and do some real work. He didn't think that harassment at work would be so demanding. He smiled, it did live up to its potential, he hadn't thought of anything else the whole day. Watching that Jack didn't catch him alone took some maneuvering. The hub was big and everyone was on the move, so he had to predict their location. Luckily he was good at that, so no one noticed his shadowing them; except for Jack, of course. His face was more and more tense, his eyes showed lack of patience. He knew Jack wasn't very good at waiting, but he'd expected a dose of casualness. Obviously he hit the right note with his game. Jack loved to win. He let his smile widen. He only had to time his departure with the others' and he would get another day of this tension in the air. It'd be fun. In that moment he felt arms sliding around his waist. He froze in first instant, but then Jack's aroma covered him. He had kept his distance the whole day, just because of that scent. It would weaken his will like it did right now. Jack leaned against his back, his breath down his neck; to hell with advantages.<p>

"Didn't I ask for a file, Ianto?" He whispered in his ear, sending hot air around his earlobe.

"It's right here, sir," Ianto managed to say with just small stutter. "I'll bring it up with coffees for all."

"I don't think they would like cold coffee, Ianto," said Jack, and he could hear his smile. He was pleased with himself. He could easily erase it, but he waited a moment too long, and Jack's teeth found his earlobe. He closed his eyes and leaned backwards. Will to reverse was gone. With his free hand Jack reached into his pocket and, to Iantos surprise, took out his stopwatch. He pressed a button and the clicking began.

"We have an hour, two if we're lucky. I'll give you a minute and twenty seven seconds to undress, and then five minutes advantage. Then I'll go looking for you. Use your knowledge of the hub well, because when I find you, you're mine to use." He took a step backwards and waited.

Ianto stood there for a second disoriented. Then he marched off towards the archives, untying his tie on the move.

"What," asked Jack, "I don't get to see the show?"

"No free tickets," replied Ianto, leaving through the door.

"At least leave me a trail of crumbs!" yelled Jack.

"Trail of crumbs..." murmured Ianto. He took his clothes off, and placed them down on the way. Then he traced back and went sideways away from the trail. His route took him down a familiar path. He didn't even notice when he passed the corridor through which he'd dragged body of doctor Tanizaki, but when he approached Lisa's door he stopped. For a brief moment he didn't know what he was doing here. Then cold air on his naked skin reminded him. He felt ashamed, he felt the urge to go back up and call everything off. But what would be left for him then; a job with its endless repetition, a memory of the metallic Lisa who haunted him, and almost complete isolation. No, he forced his chest to breath deep again, he'd had enough of that. He'd done his best and it wasn't good enough, he couldn't save her. Now he'd do what was offered, and Jack'ss skin was so warm and alive. Lisa was dead and that chapter was closed. He turned his back to the door and searched for some place Jack couldn't think of. Maybe he did want Jack, but that didn't mean that he would make it easier for him.


	17. Life and death

_No spoilers_

_Beta-ed: GlassSplinter_

* * *

><p>Jack did wait until the stopwatch counted down the minutes that he appointed to Ianto. Rules were rules. Then he collected his items and slowly walked down the corridors. He smirked at the trail of crumbs; like he would fall for that false lead. The heat led the way.<p>

He had to admit Ianto was innovative. He would've wandered around for hours if it wasn't so cold all around. He was surprised by the Lisa detour. What was Ianto trying to do, cool things down? But the trail went on. He was satisfied, the chase was good. But he didn't leave things to chance. The room Ianto chose was on the fifth sublevel, hidden by shadows, and the colour of the doors. They almost matched the wall surrounding it. He really didn't want to be found today. He smirked at that.

He put down his items and took his clothes off. They would only get in the way, and time was limited. He pushed the door open and found Ianto cleaning up. It wasn't a bad view. The muscles on his back were sliding under his skin, his legs stretching, and... Well it was a nice sight. Jack leaned against door frame.

"You just don't waste time, do you?" said Jack with a growl in his voice.

Ianto turned around, startled. The view became even better. Jack didn't really have the time to enjoy it yesterday; today he was calling the shots.

"How did you..." Ianto started and stumbled over his words. "This place needs some tidying up." He turned his glance away from Jack to the surroundings.

"Maybe it does." Jack turned around and pulled out a blanket from the hallway. "But that's not why we're here." He spread the blanket on the floor.

Ianto raised his eyebrows in question.

"Well I knew you'd find some obscure and dusty place. Couldn't bring the bed with me, could I?" He stepped on the blanket and reached his hand towards Ianto. "Will you join me Mr. Jones? I believe it is my turn."

Ianto took his hand and let Jack pull him near. His skin was cold from running down cold corridors. Jack strode paths down his back.

"I have some warming up to do, don't I," whispered Jack and leaned against Ianto's ear. "Don't worry, I won't bite, much."

And he didn't bite, much. Ianto was so tasteful, his skin so soft, that he didn't feel the urge to use his teeth. But his hands were hungry, as was his mouth. He'd never had a lover that submitted that beautifully. He closed his eyes and put himself at Jack's mercy. His body responded to his commands without delay. With only slight touch he turned, and move; and he moaned. Not loud, but that uncontrolled sound made Jack so hungry.

When he finally entered Ianto he paused. He just lay there pressed into Ianto's back and put his nose into Ianto's hair. This is why Jack loved sex so much. Because of all that skin pressed to each other, all that blood thrusting through their veins, all that lust. It made him feel alive in that moment, in that time, like he was linked to it. Ianto growled underneath him. It was the first unsatisfied sound he'd made. He was impatient. That made Jack smile. His stoic Ianto couldn't wait. That made him want to thrust into him, but it was too soon for that. He didn't know Ianto's limits, so he redirected that need into his teeth and bite down his shoulder. Then he lifted his weight and started to move in a controlled and almost gentle way. Ianto sounded grateful for that, so he reached down. Ianto lifted himself up just enough to clear the way. Ianto's back moved in an attempt to release the pressure. To Jack it felt like a dance, and it was beautiful. When they came, Jack fell down on Ianto's back and just lay there for a few moments. When their breathing slowed down, Jack remembered another reason why he loved sex. It was life while it was happening, but after the end it was like death. But not a violent and painful one, but soothing, warm, and dark, and in the dark someone else was breathing, only this someone else wasn't malicious.

Ianto cleared his throat and Jack rolled over from him. Warm death was gone and all went back to normal. Normal except Ianto continued to lie there. He didn't even lift his head.

"That was..." He didn't finish.

"Yeah," answered Jack, "it was."


	18. Cheating

_No spoilers_

_Beta-ed: GlassSplinter_

* * *

><p>Ianto felt like crying. That's why he didn't move. He waited 'til that reminiscence of tears disappeared from his eyes. He was ready for anything but gentleness. He expected hard sex against the file cabinet, rough edges, and firm grips. Things after which you feel relaxed and move on like nothing happened. He didn't expect to feel embraced and surrounded with the presence of another being. That's the right word for it, presence. Jack was there all the way, taking him in. It was hard to cope with that. He'd gotten used to absence, to the stiffness of his spine, to a knot in his chest. He felt stripped of all that, and he didn't want to show it. The blanket underneath him was thick and soft. All he wanted to do was to roll in it and stay there until those feelings went away and left him blank and unemotional. When that didn't happen he felt the urge to say something to break the silence.<p>

"That was..." he trailed off, what to say, it was overwhelming, but he didn't want to say that out loud.

But Jack said, "Yeah, it was." Ianto felt better.

He was convinced that it wasn't overwhelming for Jack. It was just sex, and coincidentally Jack was good at it. Now Ianto understood the long line of lovers that Jack always mentioned. Who wouldn't experience that? He wasn't special. That's why he held up his head and looked at Jack, who was spread across the blanket flat on his back, exposed without shame. Why not; like he had anything to be ashamed off. He decided to follow his example and leave shame behind. It would be silly after all he'd let him do.

"Well." He lifted himself up and sat on his heels. "It's time to get back to work."

"Oh." Jack frowned. "We can't have seconds?"

"That was seconds."Ianto said dryly.

"You're such a tease," smiled Jack, and Ianto raised an eyebrow.

"Don't you..." Jack jumped up but before he could grab Ianto the echo of the cog door was heard from the hallway.

"Guess they worked it out quicker then I'd hoped. I'll have to train them less." Jack sighed and got up.

"How can we hear the door all the way down here?" Ianto followed Jack and saw him pick up his clothes, beside them stood the radio. "Oh." Through the speakers he heard Owen and Gwen bickering.

"You brought clothes," he said accusingly.

"Of course," said Jack, and shrugged.

"That's unfair. And that's pure cheating." He pointed at a piece of alien tech that could read residual heat energy. "No wonder you found me that easily."

"What? You're sorry I did?" Jack stepped closer and looked him in the eyes. He turned his head to the side. He heard Jack laugh, loud and pleased. Ianto felt the urge to smash him to the wall and cut off that sound, but he stood firm. The others were back. He heard them searching for Jack.

"We have to move, my clothes are all the way to the vaults. If they find them I just might quit tomorrow." Ianto could imagine all that shame. It was one thing to stand in front of Jack, but to be exposed in front of Owen, Gwen and Tosh was something different.

"Oh, we can't have that. Not now when I'm in the lead." Jack picked up a blanket and draped it over his back.

"Lead? It's a tie, at best; if we don't count that you cheated." Ianto closed edges of the blanked grateful for the warmth.

"It's not cheating." Jack pulled Ianto close and slid his arm under the blanket, around Ianto's waist. "I made up a game, we just didn't discuss the rules."

"Ok, then I state that using alien tech to track down the hider is cheating." Ianto said dryly, but Jack's smile just widened.

"Agreed, no alien tech next time." Jack turned towards the upper levels as Gwen started to shout Jack's name. Ianto followed him with a delay because he realised that he'd just agreed to more rounds with Jack. He cought up with him and watched his back as he strode ahead. More rounds might not be such a bad thing.


	19. Sticky balls

_Spoilers: Fragments  
><em>

_Beta-ed: GlassSplinter_

* * *

><p>When they got near the exit of the main floor Ianto pulled Jack by the elbow.<p>

"Wait," he hissed. "What if they're roaming this way? The only thing worse than them finding my clothes is finding me in a blanket jumping around trying to get into my pants."

"Well that would be a sight," grinned Jack, but it was obvious that Ianto wasn't amused. "Okay," Jack said seriously. "I'll get them distracted. They know me, and besides, I've got chocolate, preferably dark." He took out chocolate from the pile of things he was carrying. They both stared at each other for a moment and then laughed simultaneously.

"Was that Jack laughing?" Owen's voice distracted them. But it was only from the radio.

"In any case, I can buy you one minute twenty seven, more than you gave me."

"Pterodactyls are easily distracted, and you made noise," argued Ianto. Jack flashed him his trademark grin and jogged towards the main floor. He left the radio behind, so that Ianto would be able to hear their voices. Tosh was quiet, but that was usual. Ianto started running. First he picked up all the pieces of his suit and then he hid himself inside a slot in the pipes. It wasn't much of a shelter, but it was better than just standing in the middle of the hallway. He rushed his movements, even though he hated rushing. The others were too unpredictable for him to feel relaxed by Jack's distraction.

He had just tucked the last bit of his shirt in and slid his jacket on when he heard footsteps. He emerged from his hideout. It was better to be caught poorly dressed then crouching in some corner. He turned and crashed into Tosh.

"Sorry Ianto," She lifted his head up. "Didn't see you coming. Those creatures must have me freaked out."

He moved aside and she just went on, not even noticing that his tie was in his hands. He let out a sigh of relief. Of all of them, she was the best choice to have caught him, but it was better that she hadn't really looked at him. He should go after her, because the absence of coffee would be noticed.

When he emerged Jack was laughing at Gwen's description of the small sticky creatures that had gotten in her hair.

"Don't worry," said Jack, fixing his gaze on Ianto, "They're harmless; it'll wear off by tomorrow, or the day after that."

"Oi,Tea Boy!" yelled Owen when he approached coffee machine. "Cold coffee has welcomed us; that's not nice. Getting some last night's no excuse to sleep on the job." Ianto felt his spine tighten. At least he didn't say boss instead of job. He started the coffee machine without retort, and that gave Owen all the encouragement that he needed. "What the hell did you do while we were gone, this place looks like you didn't clean up the whole week." He started to pick up crumbled pieces of junk from his desk.

"You make a mess for a week in a day." Ianto said quietly, but Owen heard it.

"Some of us have proper work to do," he said in his cheerful manner. "Don't we Tosh?" He turned to her, finished with Ianto for a while. Tosh was still cleaning up her hands.

"Sticky bastards," she murmured, not lifting her gaze, "they just go on and on."

"Tosh?" Owen raised his eyebrows. "Are you with us?" She didn't reply. Jack stopped him when he got up to examine what was wrong with her.

"She picked them up with her bare hands," said Jack like that explained everything.

"So, they fell into Gwen's hair, I'm not the one to mess with combing hair." Owen sounded defensive. "And sticky balls didn't really look like a real threat."

Jack shook his head.

"I thought I told you. If its alien it may look like a little white rabbit, but it still can be poisonous to us." He lifted his hands to stop Owen's reply. "Sticky balls aren't poisonous but they have a low level of hallucinogen. Tosh and Gwen will be out for a day, so it's just the three of us today."

Owen looked at Gwen thoughtfully but she just ran her fingers through her hair and looked into the distance.

"Three?" Owen snaps out his thoughts. "We won't have to drag Tea Boy around, will we. Besides he's busy with all the cleaning up." He waved around at the crowded desks.

"Why, you'll make a mess tomorrow too, don't worry Ianto will still be here. And clean up, won't you Ianto?" He turned towards Ianto who had a tray of coffee in his hands.

"Of course I'll clean up, you would all be buried under a big pile of pizza boxes, plastic bottles and dirty mugs if I quit." He placed the mugs between Owen and Jack. He noticed that the chocolate was gone. His chocolate, he thought, but then again he did get some other treat.

"Okay," sighed Owen. "Tea Boy can drive."

"Drive?" Ianto turned around; he wasn't paying any attention to their conversation.

"Well we wouldn't want to get you overworked." Owen snorted. "Whole place would fall apart without you." Ianto felt blood flush to his cheeks.

"Enough you two, we have whole lot of sticky balls to collect." Jack jumped to his feet and Ianto reflexively backed out. He was way too close. "It seems that they procreated since I last seen them. Busy little buggers, you have to give them that."

"What about them?" Owen turned worried at the door. "Won't they make trouble?"

"Don't worry, they'll just seat there till it wears out. They came back only because you didn't touch neither of the balls. That's why children went missing, they would have just stayed there. Luckily `sticky balls` lose their interest very fast."

"They were sticky." Owen justified himself. "You go and touch them."

"Once is enough." Jack smiled.

"You bastard!" Owen shouted. "You sent us there deliberately! You shouldn't treat us like that, we're not children! You should prepare us."

"And miss all the fun." Jack climbed in the SUV in passenger seat. "And Owen you didn't touch them only because they were sticky, isn't that a bit childish?"

"Tea Boy!" Owen turned to Ianto that was adjusting mirrors. "Can you handle a big machine like that?"

Ianto put SUV into gear without replay, but his driving said it all. Jack raised his eyebrows questionable but didn't comment. He knew Ianto could handle big machinery.


	20. Cleanup operation

_No spoilers_

_Beta-ed: GlassSplinter_

* * *

><p>Collecting sticky balls turned out to be a big cleanup operation. Of course Ianto did all the work. Owen and Jack just leaned against the SUV and commented. They didn't even pretend that they were contributing.<p>

They just stood there while Ianto collected the sticky balls with his sleeves rolled up and hands covered with green rubber gloves. Sticky ball was an appropriate name for them. They were round, purple, sticky and their surface was all mushy. Ianto was careful not to squash them before he put them in a big container. It wasn't an easy task because they slipped through his fingers when he didn't hold them tightly enough.

When his collecting took him away from the SUV Owen looked at Jack and noticed how his Captain was staring at Ianto with a smile on his face.

"God Jack, why don't you just slip something in his drink and get it over with," he said, irritated.

Jack turned to him in surprise.

"And steal all your moves?" he said cheerfully. He acted like he was considering it. "No, it's no fun that way. Besides with my cheekbones I don't need that."

"I believe that with stiff Teaboy you do." Owen was pleased.

"You think?" Jack grinned, he couldn't help himself.

"You bastard!" Owen was shocked. "Is anyone safe from you?"

"You're safe." Jack said softly. "I wouldn't touch your scrawny ass."

"You wish." He snorted. "So, Teaboy gave in, I had a better opinion of him." That reminded Jack of how scared was Ianto when he thought they would catch him. He certainly wasn't scared of Tosh, or Gwen. He didn't want Owen to mock him. "So how was he?" He asked inquiringly.

"I'm sure he would be great." He decided to drive Owen's attention towards a different direction. "Polite tight guys often are. They aren't self centered like some people. And besides, office affairs are tiring. Don't you agree?" He stared at Owen.

Owen turned away his gaze. He didn't have any intention to discuss it with Jack of all people.

"So you say that you didn't pin down Teaboy yet just because you're lazy," he said with a smile. "Oh Jack, it's so you, to be that smug. I bet I'm resisting just because you're not interested."

Jack shrugged his shoulders.

"Either that, or you don't have any taste." He said and pushed himself away from the SUV. "Come on, or Ianto will say he doesn't need us at all, and he'll take over command."

"We wouldn't want that. We would all wear suits and file reports on how often we use the loo." Owen followed Jack.

"That doesn't sound like a bad idea." Jack tilted his head. "The suit part."

"Don't you dare Harkness," threatened Owen.

"What?" Ianto lifted his head. The container was full of sticky balls, there were just three balls left on the ground.

"Cancel pizza day," Jack said easily. "Do you need help Ianto?" he asked with an innocent look on his face.

Ianto looked at him ironically.

"You have perfect timing sir, like always." He collected the last three balls with one sweep.

"Of course I do," grinned Jack. He was pleased. "Let's go back. If we're lucky, the girls are naked wrestling by now."

"Now that's a thought." Owen jumped in the back of the SUV.

Ianto rolled his eyes and lowered the container next to Owen's seat.

"Hey, move that behind, what if it spills all over me." Owen backed away.

"Then we will have a quiet Owen for a change," Jack said, and entered through the passenger side door. "And have some respect, for all we know they might have a genius IQ, don't hurt their feelings."

Owen murmured while Ianto fastened a seat belt around the container.

"If I put them behind you they will be squashed at the first turn, and then we'll have a sticky ball jelly. Would you like that in your sandwich or with coffee, Owen?" Ianto asked with a serious look.

"You would, wouldn't you?" Owen shook his head. "Jack we give him too much power." Jack hid his smile behind his hand.

"You should be nice then." Jack answered while Ianto was starting the engine. "At least while he's holding the wheel."

"What, and miss all those funny curves?" Owen mocked, but he gave up after that, there was more than one funny curve on their way back. He knew because he'd driven through it while Tosh and Gwen were combing and bickering in the back. He should have instantly known there was something wrong with them, but he was too busy hurrying back so he could shag Gwen one more time. Jack was right, office affairs were tiring, and he was beginning to slack. It wasn't like shagging Gwen would turn out to be anything more than that, shagging.

During the drive Jack didn't look at Ianto, but he did think about him. If he had answered Owen's question truthfully he would had said that he was great and that he wasn't over it after one try like Owen had suggested. But he hadn't lied to him. Because Ianto didn't give in; he'd taken Jack. Well, that was a fact he wouldn't say to Owen. He'd never get enough of it.


	21. Gray alien

_No spilers_

_Beta-ed: GlassSplinter_

* * *

><p>Back at the Hub Gwen and Tosh came around and found out they'd been locked in and didn't remember how. Last thing they remembered was Owen shouting at them. Did he have them back, but what happened to him.<p>

Both women were upset by the possibility that something happened to him; even worse the possibility that they caused it. So Tosh did what she did best, she got behind the computer and tried to unlock the Hub. Gwen got up and started to do what she did best, investigating what happened. She was looking for clues, things that didn't match; changes. Everything looked normal except that the mess was bigger than it usually was at this time of day. When they came back Ianto usually cleaned the place up. Did something happen to Ianto? And the coffee mugs were all around, he hated when they placed them on the curves of their tables, it was the safe way to get him to wash it instead of you. Jack's office was even worse than the rest of the Hub, it seemed like Ianto hadn't entered here the whole week. The table was a disaster, like a tornado had flushed through. Owen, Ianto and Jack were nowhere in sight. She descended to the lower levels and discovered ansmall pile of mushy thingies in the vaults. They were pulsing like they were trying to reach the holes on the glass doors. She had no desire to touch them, it was like she already knew how they'd feel like. On her way back she shook her head, nothing seemed to make any sense. Ianto hadn't gone with them. Or did he? Maybe they brought back some alien threat. That made her take out her gun. She slid beside the wall and stumbled on something crouched on the floor. It was a crumpled blanket and radio. It didn't make any sense, but she would crack it. She took the items with her to the main level. Tosh was typing and cursing to herself.

"Any luck?" Gwen shouted, leaving the blanket and radio on a surface in the kitchen. In the light it didn't look like much, just a soft gray blanket and black radio.

"Nothing, its freaking protected, and it claims that is from the highest authority. Were we taken over by UNIT?" She pounded on her keyboard. "It's like Suzie, but without the freaking poems, it could be anything."

"Look at the footage from the CCTV." Gwen had an idea running towards Tosh. "Maybe it's on tape."

"I must have gone loony." Tosh slapped herself on forehead. "How didn't I think of that before?"

First the images confused them. It was only the two of them sitting, staring and murmuring. They rewound it again and found videos of the vaults. They were surprised by Tosh pushing the little balls one by one through the hole on the glass door.

"Why didn't I just open the door?" Tosh murmured.

She skipped back and found Owen discussing something with Gwen and her shouting.

"Ok, that's freaky." Gwen was baffled.

"Look here!" Tosh pointed at a grey blur in a corner of the corridor screen.

"Is that our alien?" Gwen leaned closer.

"Ladies!" Jack's voice startled them. They lifted their heads and saw the three of them on the invisible lift. "You sober up quickly. Remind me not to have drinking competition with either of you."

"Where the hell were you?" Gwen yelled at them. "We were worried sick, you could've left a note. Sorry we locked you in, will be back soon, grey alien is on the loose."

"Worried?" Owen smiled. "That's nice."

"Grey alien?" He and Ianto exchanged a glance.

"Here, look." She pointed at the screen.

Jack leaned in close.

"That's just a smudge." Jack said knowingly.

"Yeah, our aliens were purple. Ianto got a whole bunch of them in a can." Owen confirmed. "Didn't you, Ianto?" They all turned towards Ianto who was already in the kitchen leaning in the cupboard. He straightened himself up.

"Anyone care for a coffee?" He lifted up the kettle.

"I would kill for a coffee. Thank you Ianto." Tosh answered quickly, she hadn't had one since the morning.

"The smudge disappears." She played the footage. "And the blanket in the vaults, and the radio." She pointed at the kitchen, but nothing was there.

"Did you put it away, Ianto?" Gwen was confused; it was there a moment ago.

"Put what away?" Ianto asked seriously, putting cups on the tray.

"Gwen, you're still hallucinating." Owen said with a soft voice. "You two have touched an alien with hallucinogenic skin, it will wear out soon."

"But the camera..." She pointed at the screen that was playing, showing Ianto dressed and straightening his tie as he went up.

"That explains it, see." Jack pointed at the screen. "Ianto was cleaning the camera lenses. Weren't you Ianto?"

"Oh, yes sir." Ianto was putting mugs on the table.

"That is just so anal." Owen snorted. "Camera lenses, no wonder you wouldn't tell me. Junk on the table has priority over super clean lenses."

"I'll keep that in mind," Ianto said drily. "What about the creatures? What do they eat, sir? Do they need air? Where should I put them?"

"Don't know." Jack raised his eyebrows. "Luckily we have a expert on alien fauna. Owen?"

"I was afraid you'd say that." He took his white medical gloves and put them on with a snap. "Show me the little buggers."

He took one Sticky Ball to the medical lab. Gwen and Jack leaned on the railing.

"Come on little buddy, show me your secrets."


	22. Space problem

_No spoilers_

_Beta-ed: GlassSplinter_

* * *

><p>Ianto felt his heart pounding. He was so careless. He could've just filmed them with a camera and left it on Owen's desk. Jack and Gwen were preoccupied by Owen. Tosh was leaning into the computer. This was a chance, but if Gwen went to search for cookies he'd be toast. He took the blanket from the cupboard swiftly and without noise. He was moving without hesitation as if he was just cleaning up. He hung the radio on its hook by the office door, and went upstairs to Jack's office. There he folded up the blanket and put it on the couch.<p>

He looked around. It was such a mess, and in his playing with Jack's nerves he hadn't tidied it up. He started with a desk, moving quickly and efficiently, but after a while at it he couldn't help but smile. It was a good day after all. When he was done, that damn blanket just beamed up shouting look at me. So he grabbed it and descended down Jack's manhole. It wasn't like he went down there the first time, but he hadn't shagged him before. It felt different, like he was intruding. He put down the blanket beside the bed and hurried up. There was too much of Jack in there, as if he'd pop up any second. He strode down the stairs and started cleaning the desks about which they were all complaining. When he did his job nobody noticed, but he slacked only for a day and everybody thought that aliens attacked the Hub. He smiled at the notion; although the grey alien in the Hub did sounded familiar, but he couldn't put his finger on it. Gwen sure looked upset at the notion.

They all gathered up in the boardroom to hear Owen's presentation. Ianto stood by the door.

"Now, about Sticky Balls," Owen started with a big display.

"Sticky balls? Really?" Tosh laughed.

"It's catchy and accurate," he said, irritated. "So, Sticky Balls have transluminante skin and it secretes hallucinogen, a kind I didn't encounter yet. But preliminary experiments indicate that it's not really harmful, and it wears off in a few hours. In some ways it has a similarity to retcon, wipes your memory clean. Besides that, the mouse seemed to be immune to pain, or else they do not pay any attention to it."

"Ok, that's all very interesting," Jack softly leaned forward on the desk. "But we kinda knew that already. What do they eat?"

"Of course, Tea Boy needs to get his new petting zoo in motion." Owen murmured skipping through the pictures. "They didn't react on any eatable substances I put them in, not in significant matter, like gaining weight, only thing they reacted on is touch. Touch with a living, moving organism. They liked my mouse; in fact they doubled their numbers. They do not gain weight, they just multiple in two organisms same weight and size. It's quite fascinating really." He smiled.

"So I would need to get them some lost pet, but wouldn't that cause us space problem?" Ianto looked at numbers he was writing on his notepad. "If they double like that they will very soon fill the whole vault, or two. I mean, it's not the best choice for a pet."

"Not only that, but you would have to rotate the animals that they touch. The hallucinogen is low level and is not harmful, but if you enlarge the dosage it becomes life threatening. I don't think they can coincide with life on earth. In their own world they probably have a controlling factor, and resisting agent, but here we would soon all be mindless creatures that just stand around and die of starvation, while purple sticky balls pulse with joy and multiply on our hands." He rolled in his chair to face Jack. "And once again you were right, purple sticky balls are an alien threat to whole planet."

"So mercy killing." Jack sighed. "Nothing fun about that. How do we kill them?"

"Well that is the fun part." Owen smiled widely and pressed button. "They are practically invincible. Besides the fact that Ianto discovered, that you can squash them with bare hands, buggers are though. No chemical substance works on them. Needles, even squeezing with steel surfaces don't do the trick; they just flatten and inflate again. Guess they aren't used to creatures with hands."

"So what you are saying is that we have to squash them one by one to get rid of them?" Jack face was squeezed in disgust. The others weren't keen about that idea either. There were more than a hundred of those creatures in the Hub.

"There is one more thing." Toshiko leaned forward. "I was running some test of my own. Since they came into the Hub something was muffling my equipment. So I examined the surroundings to find the source of the interference, and I found out that they are transmitting some sort of a pulse, a rhythmic repeating pulse that penetrates walls and wires. When you put it on the speakers it almost sounds like a song." She pushed the button and sound filled the air. It did sound like something, but strange and unfamiliar.

Jack was listening very carefully.

"How far can this wave of information stretch?" He asked with a rush in his voice.

"There's no limit." Tosh shrugged. "Inert obstacles barely influence the wave. It's slow but ongoing, maybe forever."

"Gwen when was the first child reported missing?" He got up.

"A month ago, why?" She followed him confused by his sudden running. The others were a few paces behind. Ianto was slowly walking. He took the Captain's coat from the office then got to the cleaning closet and took few pair of glows and few more containers. If Owen was right, and he usually was, there would be more Sticky balls then before. After all there were rats in the vaults. Weavils were quite fond of them.


	23. Damn magicians

_A/N: Some sweeping and running.  
><em>

_No spoilers._

_Beta-ed: GlassSplinter_

* * *

><p>The mess was even bigger than he expected it. The Sticky balls had reached the holes in the glass doors and one by one got out in the hall. Piles of them grouped themselves in front of the rat hole, but the rat was squeaking and biting, he was clearly not influenced by the hallucinogen. He would have to make a note of that to Owen. He'd clearly been too distracted to notice that detail. He grabbed the Sticky balls with his sleeve and put them into the trash bin. Gwen was pushing a pile towards the wall with a broom, and Tosh held her device fascinated by results.<p>

"The pattern of the pulse is changing." She was exalted.

Jack was standing beside the plexiglass door and he soothed Janet, who was crouched in the corner. A pile of the balls were toppling each other, trying to reach the hole. Strangely they completely ignored the Captain who was right beside them. Jack turned his head towards him and smiled.

"Ah, Ianto to the rescue." Ianto felt warmth in his cheeks but ignored it. He held out the greatcoat for the Captain, who grabbed it and put it on his shoulders. Then he gave the canisters and gloves to the team. This time, all of them collected Sticky balls.

"Be careful; don't miss a single one of them. One can grow into quite a nice family." Jack gave the instructions to the team.

"Why don't you help out then?" Owen grumbled.

"They don't like my touch. Besides, I am helping, I'm supervising. That's such nice word. Didn't you know that supervising is the most well paid job on Earth in any time? On other worlds they appreciate work that is seen, but we prefer unseen, maybe we think it's harder. Hurry up, the moon will be up soon." He tapped his wrist strap.

"Moon. Job. Managers. Really Jack, I didn't find you to be romantic capitalist."

"Here." Ianto closed the final can. "Sticky Ball Jam, sir."

"Right on time, Ianto." He winked at him and strode out. Ianto took two canisters and ran straight behind him. It was a thrilling experience. If he'd gotten it right it was a rescue mission. Jack had that excited and upbeat look on his face. He loved to save lives.

"No time for the SUV!" Jack shouted and jumped on the invisible lift. He grabbed Ianto by the forearm and pulled him and canisters up.

"Just put them here." He rushed Owen and Gwen. He started the elevator even before the last can was on the floor. He grabbed Ianto's upper arm to steady him but he didn't let go 'til the top. His grip was firm and Ianto discovered that he could lean into that touch, but not now, he warned himself. They got up to street level. It was dark, and there were just a few passersby.

"This is big enough." Jack jumped from the perception filter onto the plas. "Spill them here in the centre." He showed him the spot.

"But sir, all the people," Ianto whispered.

"Don't worry, all they will see is some strange and disturbing street performance, we won't even have to retcon them." Ianto complied and created a nice pile of pulsing sticky balls. They even glowed in the dark. Owen, Gwen and Toshiko came running towards them.

"What now, Jack?" Gwen was panting.

"Now step back kids and learn." They stepped a few paces back and waited. A few minutes passed and nothing happened. A man walked towards the pile.

"Shouldn't we stop him?" Gwen hissed.

"Why? If he touches them he won't remember anything. It saves a whole lot of redcon." Jack was pleased.

"What if you are wrong, sir?" Ianto whispered. He stood close enough to Jack so that the others didn't hear them.

"Then we will have a handful of squeezing to do Ianto. So I hope I'm right. Don't you?" He looked at him playfully although it wasn't a pleasant idea. He did that in the worst of situations, and it made them little more bearable. This time it didn't puzzle Ianto, it just threw him into pictures of skin, and smell. Was it today? It seemed further away. A sound distracted him from Jack's face, which had begun to look lustful, like he was reading his mind. It was a sizzling sound, and it came from a flying saucer. It was like it fell out of a cartoon. It descended downwards beaming a stream of light, and sucked all the Sticky balls into its belly. Then it just went off and away.

Jack was right about the passersby, they just shook their heads in disproval. Ianto even heard an old man saying something about some 'damn magicians'.

"That was brilliant!" Gwen shouted.

"Genius Sticky balls." Owen murmured. "Who could tell?"

Tosh tapped on her pad.

"I'm transferring the data to the main computer. This is priceless Jack; we should keep a few of them, so that we can monitor the communication patterns."

"Yeah, and they would penetrate our safety system in a nanosecond, rescue their captive explorers, and wipe our memory clean, maybe too clean."

"Is that what happened to you Jack?" Owen asked softly.

Jack glanced at him and then smiled widely.

"I have so many holes in my memory that they must have been there at least once." He walked towards the hub. "Nice work, people. Go home and rest."

He turned around and walked backwards. "Tomorrow there will be scary clawed aliens, I promise." He didn't need to say it twice. Everybody picked up their things and went for the doors. Only Ianto hesitated.

"Come on Ianto," Gwen stopped by the door.

"Yeah one pint won't kill you," Owen added, and Ianto felt compelled to go. "Besides, you were useful today." Owen tapped him on the shoulder.

"For a Tea boy." He added with a smirk.

"Owen," Tosh reproached him. "Don't pay any attention to him, Ianto. Wasn't that ship great? Wonder how it allocates gravity or how the commands work..." He spent the evening listening to Tosh and her theories. It was nice, even Owen was bearable. But still. The pause preoccupied him. Jack had paused before he gave his answer to Owen about the holes in his memory. He'd remembered something before giving his all is well smile, something passed behind his eyes, he knew what he had lost, and it hurt.


	24. Northern expedition

_No spoilers_

_Beta-ed: GlassSplinter  
><em>

* * *

><p>In the Hub everything was quiet once again. Jack went to the vaults and sat down in front of Janet.<p>

"You felt them too, didn't you?" he spoke gently. "They weren't just calling mummy, they were probing, collecting information. But don't worry, soon they will realize that colonization is impossible, and that it is better for them to hide themselves. I almost missed them and let them spread."

Janet moaned and Jack smiled.

"I know, Ianto forgot your dinner. Sorry about that, my fault. I distracted him a little." He got up and went in search of food.

Where would Ianto store it? He had begun to depend on the young man too much. It took a while, but he did find a stock of food. It was in the logical place in the side corridor, it was convenient so he didn't have to carry the food too far, but it was the last place where Jack looked.

That reminded Jack of the hideout that Ianto chose this afternoon. It was the last place Jack would have looked for him if it wasn't for the useful device. That's why he hid his personal files in that room. He hadn't stumbled upon that room since. He couldn't bring himself to destroy the full drawer of files that contained his pictures and name. If the others discovered it, his careful hiding would come to an end. He managed to hide his stubborn defiance of death; he wasn't able to stay dead. Before he took charge of Torchwood, before they all died, everyone in Torchwood three knew all about him, and that had made him feel alienated, someone who they understood only through his anomaly. There were more than a few of Torchwood generations that he'd greeted and stood at their funerals. They'd filled out reports about him and his behave, tried to find ways to control him. He put up with it for his own reasons.

When he got ahold of the files he couldn't burn them. He knew all too well how fragile was memory. Pictures, names, events were lost in a stream of new stimulations. And there were other ways to forget. The Time Agency used a lot of them. Retcon was only a fragment of their training. He'd used it many times, and they used it on him. Sticky balls, how Owen called them, were an ultimate deleting tool. They immersed a subject in them and he would emerge clean of recent events. He'd entered that kind of bath and got out a little too clean, he'd lost his name and many memories of his family. It had taken him years to recover some of them. It was easy to find his name, but it just didn't stick anymore. He'd felt uncomfortable with it. So he'd searched for a new one. The Doctor found him while he was Jack Harkness and it stuck. It seems that when the Doctor says something it comes to life. In that sense, maybe he is a real doctor, since he healed that hole. Or at least it was fun to be Jack, not a dangerous rogue and conman, but someone almost honourable and overall charming. He grinned. Sometimes he didn't need to do anything, people just came to him.

He got out an old typing machine from a cabinet and wrote on a white scrap Northern expedition. It was a well known, well documented and eternally boring expedition on the North Pole that turned out to be a wild goose chase. Nobody had opened a drawer with that note in fifty years. He descended to the file room. Now that Ianto has been there he surely would come back to clean up every once in a while, he did have that strain in him, it wasn't just a pose.

When he entered he discovered that he'd already been here. There was air freshener. He chuckled. Ianto didn't leave loose ends. Luckily he hadn't had time to go further into the room. Jack went to the back cabinet and slipped scrip over his name. He opened it. There it was, his life and many deaths in Torchwood. If nothing his predecessors in Torchwood Three hid the true nature of his condition from London. At first because of fear that they would claim him, later for the pure advantage they had before them. For London he was only a name that agents took in the field, they didn't know that he was that field agent all along. In time some of them worked it out, but they only discovered that he aged surprisingly graceful. That made it possible for him to take charge when all went to hell. In other circumstances they would simply send bunch of new people to tie him down.

This way he could choose who he worked with, and what they would know. As long as he managed to be alone when he dies it worked. He would send the others in another direction and revive before they met up. Only Gwen knew, because she saw it before he took her in. She coped with it surprisingly well, as if it was just one of his strange qualities. And it was convenient, this way he could take her with him in the field. It was more fun that way, and he remained a field agent amongst all. It was a habit that grew on him. Sitting behind a desk just wasn't his cup of tea.

The others did see him deleted by Lisa, but death by electricity was such an invisible thing, they just thought that her circuits malfunctioned. It was easy to find excuses. He knew that that time was approaching, a time when he wouldn't be able to hide his death, but he was enjoying the time that was given to him, a time and space where he was almost normal. In that time he had established a relation to his team. They defied him, disobeyed, argued, complied, and it was amazing. And strangely they trusted him, most of the time.


	25. Ticking clock

_No spoilers._

_Beta-ed: GlassSplinter_

* * *

><p>The next day was uneventful, except that Ianto got his rough against-the-file-cabinet sex. The only thing was that Ianto could write himself a point in his score list. Jack went down to the archives after him, but he wasn't in the mood to be submissive. In the middle of the Hub where they could easily be caught, being in charge was the least he could do for his self-esteem. Jack didn't seem to mind when he thrust him against drawers. On the contrary, he laughed lustfully.<p>

"Oh Ianto, you're good," Jack said while he was dressing. "What do you think, would the others be suspicious if I put some beds into the archives?"

"It would seem a bit odd, sir," Ianto replied with a small smile.

"I suppose, but it wasn't abad idea." He went up while still buttoning his shirt.

On the way up Jack considered why, in time, he'd begun to prefer men. This planet was to blame for that. Most of all he loved to explore, and try out new people. He did it without a second thought. It wasn't something he had to justify. Not in his time and space. There, silly old superstition and inhibitions were abandoned for a more relaxed way of doing things; especially when reproduction wasn't bound to sex, or women. He fell on this Earth so far back in time that touching women could bring you whole lot of trouble. He'd learned that quickly. He wasn't that fast at learning the rules of handling women. Only one rule was about handling men, and it was simple; you had to do it in secret. That he learned easily, because it was fun, the rush of all that adrenalin. He'd learned that when he was here the first time around. He only had to recognise the right kind of men, and that was a piece of cake, at least for him. Sometimes one glance was enough.

With women on the other hand, you could play all the cards right and she would turn in the last moment and accuse you of abuse. It was frustrating. Not to mention all the present guilt that turned them into furies after everything, especially if the sex was good, and with him it was. He kept his distance, but some women were all too tempting. For them he tried to do everything right, he really did, and sometimes it worked and they seemed happy. When he got more confident in himself he'd even decided to follow it through all the way. It seemed that here all women wanted were children, and so came Alice. A beautiful child of his, and it seemed right in the beginning, before his failure to grow old caught up with him. It wasn't vanity, he thought, which made his wife hate him with such passion, it was abandonment. Not only that he couldn't look old, but he couldn't really be old with her, he couldn't follow her into changing, he couldn't be still, stop moving, stop fighting, stop sacrificing. It wasn't their love that died, it was the belief that he would be there for her. In the end he finally got what marriage was all about, and what the women here wanted. And it wasn't something he could give. It was about time, the time you vow to spend together, to accompany each other into death. To suffer for the children that you have, or not, to count down the days together. She didn't blame him for the people he'd met while she was around, but for the people that would follow her. Somehow he'd managed to cheat on her in whole eternity, and rob her of her eternal companion in the afterlife. Sometimes, when he was especially susceptible to guilt, he pictured her still mad on the other side, mad and alone.

Time passed and changes happened, and women today looked different from a hundred years ago, but still. Still it was a game, game with an end. Now they had a trial period, when they could play, and explore, but still on that play was attached ticking clock. Time was ticking, saying hurry to them, hurry, your train will be gone, your kids will be gone, because children still depended on them, and they still got really mad if they discovered that you stole some of their time, that you weren't playing for real, that you were just wasting time.

That's why men were still way more fun than women. They could play, could have some sex and move on without redundant expectations. Without that deep search in their eyes in an attempt to discover some hidden and deep emotions; he liked to keep those buried deep, thank you.

Time passed and changes happened, and women looked different today then a hundred years ago, but still. Still it was a game, game with an end. Now they had trial period, when they could play, and explore, but still on that play was attached ticking clock. Time was ticking saying hurry to them, hurry your train will be gone, your kids will be gone, because children still depends on them, and they still get really mad if they discover that you stole some of their time, that you wasn't playing for real, that you were just wasting time.

That's why men were still way more fun, than women. They could play, could have some sex and move on without redundant expectation. Without that deep search in your eyes in attempt to discover some hidden and deep emotions; he liked to keep that one's buried deep, thank you.


	26. One night stand

_Spoiler alert: Random Shoes  
><em>

_Beta-ed: GlassSplinter_

* * *

><p>Ianto wondered if you could have sex with your boss just once and then give up. Not that he was complaining, he was just wondering. He thought he could pull it off with Jack, he had that careless air about him, but it would be such a shame. It seemed that he was still holding back, examining how far he could go with Ianto. That came as a surprise to Ianto, that attentive side, he'd expected him to be more self oriented. But then again, Ianto proved not to live up to expectation. He smiled. The notion of beds spread across the Hub was flattering, and it suggested that Jack wasn't fed up with him yet. Not that he expected that this would last; they would get weary of each other and go back to work.<p>

Ianto focused back on work; he'd be in trouble if he didn't get a grip on his day. He tried to keep his distance from Owen and Gwen, their bickering had become annoying, but Jack sent him with them to examine the house of a boy who was an obvious hit and run. Gwen had a hunch that something was off. Owen was being more obnoxious than usual. He understood why Jack had sent him with them, he couldn't send Tosh, as hard as she pretended that she didn't care; it would just be cruel to let her be alone with them. Lately she'd pinned herself to her computer and didn't want to go out on missions. Other than that the mission did include some sort of cleaning and sorting things, the kind of task that was his domain.

The visit was disappointing, nothing alien or unusual, besides that old crisp. Owen and Gwen turned this case into a fight between their life principals, and he felt like a surplus. Then he came back to the Hub and Jack had waved his eyebrows suggestively; that gave him another perspective of his attentions. Well, if that turned Jack on, he could play a serious field agent. That got him in a better mood, and he picked up the telephone. Gwen didn't seemed too professional about this one, she liked the boy and wanted it to be something meaningful, he bet she didn't even check with the police on the investigation. He wasn't too pleased to give the advantage to Owen's perspective, but sometimes people just died crossing the road. But he couldn't think about it further, because Jack had some ideas of his own.


	27. Estimation

_No spoilers.  
><em>

_Beta-ed: GlassSplinter_

* * *

><p>And Jack's ideas got more and more extreme. Ianto thought about it, could he keep up with them? He was used to thinking about himself as a shy person. But with Jack that seemed to be switched off. Partly it was because of the whole contest thing that he'd started. The other part was something else. With Jack he felt powerful. How odd was that? He didn't expect it to be that way, not with Jack being the boss, and all. He felt, well it was a bit uncomfortable, he felt beautiful. He always considered Jack as a narcissistic person, as someone who enjoys being better than those around him, or at least enjoys their admiration. But the closer he got the more it seemed that Jack was the one doing the admiring, and not just of him. He seemed to see the best in people, to find some kind of beauty in everything. And it happened that he himself sometimes saw things the way he did. When he looked through his eyes the world didn't seem like a gray and dull place, as he used to see it, but like a live thing that was always moving. Maybe that was the key to Jack's own beauty. People wanted to be around him to catch a glimpse of themselves in his eyes. That was why he let Jack handle him however he wanted, and mostly wherever. He balanced that by keeping eyes on the score, and he took care that he got his own way often enough.<p>

"Ianto!" Jack's voice startled him, and he almost spilled his coffee on his shirt. He approached him unnoticed; he'd drifted too far into his thoughts.

"I wanted to discuss this." He pointed at something on his clipboard. Ianto leant forward, when he saw what he was talking about he felt warmth rush to his cheeks. Owen and Tosh were just a few feet away from them, typing something, but they were close enough to hear anything interesting. Jack was holding his stopwatch list in his hands. He forced himself to stay calm and not show anything alarming.

"What about it sir?" He managed to keep his voice in its usual tone.

"This item bothers me, I think you underestimated it. We should go through it to check." He pointed out the number he thought was quite generous.

"Really?" He couldn't hide his surprise. "I thought I overestimated it, it was always shorter so far."

"That's only because we always rush somewhere, there will be quieter times," Jack said seriously. "Here," he handed him a list. "This is a list; we should be prepared for anything."

"Grocery list," Owen murmured to Toshiko. "Those two take shopping lists far too serious."

Toshiko shrugged her shoulders.

"I don't know, you get pretty annoying when you're hungry." She didn't lift her gaze from the screen.

"Excuse me!" Owen was surprised.

"Oh, sorry," Tosh looked around, "Did I say that out loud? I meant it in the best possible way." She smiled politely.

"I have to be careful or you'll grow teeth. Who will put up with me then?" He smiled at her.

Tosh bit her tongue and didn't answer. Ianto was reading Jack's list and his eyebrows lifted in surprise.

"As you wish, sir," he said at the end. "I'll have it in mind." Then he turned to Owen and Tosh with their coffees.

"Finally Teaboy, you managed to find us." Owen grabbed his mug from the tray. "While at it, bring me some treats, you know what I like." Owen turned to his computer.

Ianto stood there shocked for a second before he realized what Owen really meant.

"Oh, chocolate," he said with relief.

"What else?" Owen murmured but he was already lost in some file, full of corpses. Ianto withdrew, and Jack chuckled in the back.

"So how long will you need for that list?" he asked Ianto quietly, but loud enough to sound casual.

"Now, sir?" Ianto was surprised, it was the middle of the day, and they weren't talking about a few minutes stolen in the archives.

"Do you have other plans, Ianto?" Jack looked him in the eyes and Ianto could see that he was asking for real.

"No, not as such." He lowered his gaze and stumbled over his words slightly. "Two hours." He said and strode towards the door. A problem of Owen and Tosh was Jack's problem to solve, he was the boss after all. Ianto looked at the list and couldn't help but smile. How cheeky was that; to send him to eat and rehydrate so he could beat his estimation by five minutes. Nevertheless, Ianto obeyed Jack's instructions to the letter. What fun is the game, if you don't give into it?


	28. Little space

_Minor spoilers for Random Shoes_

_Beta-ed: GlassSplinter_

* * *

><p>Jack looked at his watch and went to his office. Ianto's estimations were usually more than accurate, so he had an hour before he had to put his plan in motion. He was pleased with himself. Everything was going his way, the universe was sometimes funny like that. All the tumbling and turning, running, dying and hurting, didn't last all the time, sometimes a little space would open where he could enjoy himself with little things. It seems that the universe decided to give him a little space like that with Ianto. He could never predict these kinds of things. If he was asked, he would probably predict that Gwen would've had her way with him, she sure did show all the signs, but 'till now nothing happened. On the contrary she was drifting towards Owen, something that he wouldn't have guessed. The desire was there, but there also was fear, caution, awareness. She thought he would consume her; that he was too much for her, and he knew she was right. On the other side Ianto, he couldn't help but smile, his capacities had proven to be deeper than he anticipated. That was why he would put him through this challenge. The sweet thing was that Ianto had given him such a good excuse to try.<p>

When the forty minutes had expired Jack became impatient. What if Ianto skipped a few steps and came back early, the others could take him with them, they tended to do that, go off in groups. He strode down the stairs.

"So, it figures that the rift is quiet when Gwen is gone." He started without intro, with his hands in his pockets.

"I was just wondering where she is." Owen turned in his chair instantly. "Thought you sent her on a job, investigating."

"Oh, no, not me, she just reported to me that she is going to some convention for the weekend." Jack shrugged his shoulders.

"Oi, she gives herself too much credit, that's just not fair. We work our asses off and we don't get any time off. The hell if I'm going to sit here while she's off on a weekend." He throws his pen on the desk and lifts himself up. "Going, Tosh?" He turned.

"What? Right now?" She wasn't convinced; her fingers were still glued to her keyboard.

"Come on Tosh, live a little, those bugs won't run away." Owen smiled and Jack knew he won.

"Oh alright, I can take my laptop home with me." She unplugged it.

"God forbid you should go without it." Owen rolled his eyes.

"Is that all right with you Jack?" She looked at him, still sitting and ready to stay.

"Oh, I guess." He rubbed his neck, pretending he was considering it. "Ok, it's quiet, and you do need to rest from time to time. Take tomorrow too, but be by your cells." He stared at Owen. "Don't care how wasted you are, you should come if the world falls apart, ok?"

"Yes sir." Owen saluted him mockingly and went towards the door. "And give Tea Boy off too, it would just be cruel to force him to work alone."

"Oh, don't worry, I'll get him off." Jack grinned, Owen rolled his eyes and went, Tosh hurried to catch up with him.


	29. Pillow

_No spoilers_

_Beta-ed: GlassSplinter_

* * *

><p>Ianto sat down and ate a good meal. Those were the instructions, sit down and eat a good meal, he actually wrote it down. It wasn't too sexy but if Jack hadn't put it down like that, he would've probably just grabbed something and eaten it on the move. This way he stared at the sidewalk and the people passing through. How often did he really see the people, ordinary new faces, just walking along, doing simple things? He could go out and join them, disappear in the crowd. He could live a safe life, as safe any life could be, you could be hit by a truck on the road any day. Jack would let him, he knew that now, knew that about Jack, that he let people go.<p>

We are the ones holding on to him, searching for some bigger life, and he take us for a ride. Ianto smiled to himself, it was a good ride.

Ianto looked at the list; he's done most of it. He'd bought bottles of water, chocolate for the ever suspicious Owen, ordered take out from that restaurant, picked up the wine, and the lube. It was a bit uncomfortable to order such an amount of lube tubes, he didn't have practice in buying these things, but it wasn't that bad when he hid one in a pile of things. This time the things were hidden in the pile of the lubes. God he hoped that Owen would be gone when he showed up with bags full of lube. He still needed to go and buy a pillow, a big pillow in a shape of a horseshoe. What in the hell did he need that for?

He came into the Hub with hands full of bags and a big colourful pillow pressed under his arm. He didn't find any other kind, and he had to go to pregnancy shop to get it. Apparently it was used to support the big bellies of future mothers. That was awkward. The shop girl saw the lube in his bag and she assumed that he was preparing for a birth at home. That freaked him out a little. It shouldn't have, he'd seen such terrible and disgusting things in Torchwood that child birth should be a piece of cake, but still it was kind of disturbing. He was never any good at children; he'd considered it only because he thought Lisa would take care of it all. He covered that picture with Jack, he had other ideas with that pillow, and all of them would freak future mothers out. He smiled at that notion and went down. If Owen was still there Jack would surely find a simple and disturbing explanation for his wishes.

It was dark around work stations, and music floated through the air from Jack's office. He paced slowly up the stairs. Jack was sitting down behind his desk, reading something.

"Oh, you're early." He had a little smile while he was getting up. He leaned and pulled the wine out of the bag.

"Nice one," he said. "I remember that year, 1964, it was a nice year, warm summer and funny music. People were finally becoming looser; it wasn't a moment too soon." He took out two glasses from the cabinet and opened up the wine. "You can shove the rest down the hole." He pointed at the open manhole that leads down to his bedroom, Ianto looked worried. "Don't worry, it'll fall down on the bed."

Ianto shrugged his shoulders and threw the bags down, and the pillow followed them. They fell and spread around but he didn't care about that. Order wasn't on the menu tonight. He accepted the glass with red liquid from Jack. It was inviting to imagine Jack landed into the sixties, all those innocent and unsuspecting people. Did the rift take him there, or did he have some kind of device? He loved to toss and turn the mystery that was Jack; in a more than allegorical way. He felt his posture changing from his usual tightness to something, well, provoking. He felt like he could unravel in front of Jack.


	30. Consent

_No spoilers_

_Beta-ed: GlassSplinter_

* * *

><p>Jack watched Ianto move around the office and had to hide his grin with a glass. It was always exciting to watch the transformation from office Ianto to lover Ianto. The way he moved would change, he would sway through the space as if he owned it, and turn his eyes away like he didn't notice Jack's gaze. His voice would change too, from that flat and grumpy irony into something different.<p>

"Owen warned me to give you some time off; he was worried that I'd keep you here for my own purposes," Jack teased.

"Did he really?" There it was, that rich, inviting tone, with just a hint of rolling tongue. "That's unexpectedly kind of him, he's probably just winding you up so you get coffee deprivation." Ianto traced his fingers across the edge off the table, while at it he tilted his head slightly exposing his neck. Jack found this distracting. He poked the take out bag.

"It said eat, and I did, what's with this? Will you make me watch you eat? Or you're going to stuff me?"

"Oh, I'll stuff you alright." Jack approached him standing face to face, chest to chest, barely touching.

Ianto stopped breathing and they stared at each other for a brief moment. Then Jack leaned in, grabbed his tie and kissed his neck. Ianto exhaled and lifted his hands to Jacks hips dragging him near. Jack knew Ianto's limits. He occupied himself with the tie and the buttons, tracking down bare skin. Ianto didn't mind that he tossed his clothes all around the office. Instead of complaining he got busy with his belt and pants. Soon they were both half naked, in opposite areas. Somebody had to correct that mistake. Jack crouched down and rapidly pulled Ianto's pants down. That made Ianto gasp in surprise, and Jack felt saliva fill his mouth. His mouth was hungry for touch so he sucked Ianto's cock in. Ianto supported himself on the table behind him, and hummed. When his stomach started to tense Jack remembered that this night wasn't about release, it was about something else, and he had a plan. He let Ianto go and stood up. Ianto focused on him, with difficulty.

"Jack?" he whispered with plead in his voice.

"Come on," Jack said gently and took Ianto by the hand. He pulled him towards his manhole.

"Down?" He looked down the shaft unwillingly.

"There's a bed down there." Jack explained and started to descend down the ladder, he still got his shirt on. "If you're willing to stand on hard surfaces for hours, I'm not ready to stand that long." His head disappeared into the hole.

"You're really going to go through with it?" Ianto sounded surprised and awake. He went down the ladder. Jack waited for him at the bottom; his hands embraced him and pulled him down on the bed. He tossed some things off the bed and let them fall to the floor. Jack positioned himself above Ianto and smiled at him in the mildly dark room.

"Of course I'll do nothing of that sort if I don't have your consent." Jack traced a path with top of his fingers down the pale skin of his chest. Ianto slowly nodded while his skin shivered under his touch. Jack loved that kind of response, it made things worthwhile.


	31. Enough

_No spoilers_

_Beta-ed: GlassSplinter_

* * *

><p>Ianto felt a mattress under his back. He felt submerged in Jack's own scent. The whole room exuded Jack, he felt surrounded by Jack, there was nowhere to escape, nothing safe. Then Jack turned him on his side and placed that funny pillow between his legs and under his head. The pillow didn't smell like Jack, it had that new shop smell. He buried his nose into it, grateful for some contact with the everyday world, but then Jack thrust into him and he forgot those kinds of worries.<p>

Ianto found that sensation rather wonderful. His teeth clenched in attempt to suppress his moans, but the effort was futile. He was a lost cause, Jack owned him from that first thrust into him. He could pretend it would be something completely casual between the two of them when he was topping Jack over his desk. He was in control, and the sex wasn't all that different. The fact that it was a man under him wasn't that strange. It was exciting really. But the thing down in the archives was something else. It wasn't about Jack thrusting his cock inside him; it was about what Jack made him feel. He made him feel sad, excited, exhilarated and terrified at the same time. And beyond all that, he felt need, overwhelming need, hunger for Jack. He limited their encounters to control and hid that hunger. Jack wasn't a person he would trust with that kind of weakness, that kind of power over him. Because it was a power; he feared that he wouldn't turn Jack down if he clinched him in front of everybody. Maybe this would satisfy his appetite.

He closed his eyes and let Jack lead him in gentle waves. It seemed like Jack knew exactly what he was doing. His movements were slow like they were resting rather than having sex. The first hour was pure delight. He could almost reach a feeling of satisfaction, a feeling that he had enough. Then Jack started to toss him around to shake things up. He even forced him to sit on top of him and move. That was torture, he almost screamed and begged to turn him loose and finish with it. But Jack turned him down on his knees and with few long steady thrust satisfied his need just enough to make him stand this a little longer. He positioned them back on the side but in another direction and continued with long, slow moves and periods where they were laying still and doing nothing. In that whole time, Ianto discovered that his erection didn't loosen up, not even little bit.

Jack was laying on Ianto's back anchored into him, he just lay there, didn't do anything and their erections pulsed steadily like something stimulating was happening. Ianto wasn't complaining about his weight on him, he found it comforting. But how long was this going to go on? He forced himself to open his eyes and focused on the clock. That couldn't be right.

"Ok," He muffled in the sheet. "You win." He couldn't bring himself to move. He'd be wasted from this for days.

"Oh, already?" Ianto could clearly hear disappointment in Jack's voice.

"Yes," Ianto still didn't lift his head up. "It's been three and a half hours now; that means that you beat my estimation by half an hour." And in that time Jack didn't leave his backside not for a moment, and his erection hadn't lost it's hard-on for an inch.

"Hmm," Jack lowered his head and rubbed his nose on Ianto's cheek. "Does that mean that you're done, don't want go further, and see how far it goes? After all, it was your question, how long I can go." His voice was deep and rich, inviting.

He really should say stop, it's enough, no more. But the problem was that he was still comfortable and wasn't nearly done yet. His hunger was still there, and when would he get another opportunity like this one? His silence went on a moment too long, and that was all the encouragement that Jack needed. He moved slightly and turned his cock around in a way that made Ianto moan uncontrollably. Jack laughed lustfully and Ianto buried his face in the pillow.

Ianto lost track of time. Jack manoeuvred him around changing positions and changing pace from slow to fast, back to none and then slow. Ianto wasn't very surprised that Jack had managed to do all that, but was surprised that he was able to keep up, to sustain all that and keep wanting more. In the process Ianto realized what the pillow was for. It was for him to support his aching arms and legs, and it was welcomed support. The bottles of water tasted refreshing, and he didn't even want to know the ratio of used tubes.

After a while weariness caught up with him and he felt his heart pounding, his breath deepening and it became very hard to open his eyes. The hunger was still there, and he had to accept that it wouldn't go away that easily.

"Enough," Ianto panted. "No more, can't even come anymore, just let me sleep. You won."

"Can't come?" Jack whispered in his ear. "Now that's just disappointing. I'd just love to feel you squirm and pant." Ianto stopped breathing, his eyes opened up wide. "And that little moan that you make, it just throws me off the grid. Not to mention how your cock jumps around looking irresistible and appetizing." With those words Jack put his palm on his cock and Ianto realized how little Jack had touched him in the past hours. His hips pressed him into Jacks palm. He felt Jack grin on his cheek. "Now that's my Ianto, always ready to deliver what I need. Come for me Ianto." Jack pressed a kiss on his cheek and that made Ianto moan. He pressed his head back on Jacks shoulder and lifted his leg to grant Jack's hand free passage. Jack stroke him up and down gently, his cock inside Ianto didn't move, but it was enough. More than enough. Ianto caught himself moan uncontrollably, and his spine arched wildly while he relished an orgasm he didn't believe he had in him. While his body was calming down he felt Jack's orgasm, it took him just a little squeeze to get that out of him. It was somehow soothing feeling when Jacks cock finally started to deflate. Then came the silence, and it was a nice sound. Ianto curled under the blanket.

Now I'll sleep, he thought to himself.


	32. Lost battle

_No spoilers._

_Beta-ed: GlassSplinter  
><em>

* * *

><p>Jack was very pleased. He knew that words were the most effective stimulators of all, but he was pleased to confirm his theory. Especially because it showed that the person with whom he shared bed was in it with him, not just with his body and skill. He did appreciate the latter, it had its treats, but it usually got boring very fast. The former got boring a little slower.<p>

"Hungry?" he asked Ianto, and jumped up and climbed up the ladder.

Ianto turned around, confused.

"Where do you get your energy from?" He looked mildly annoyed.

"What can I say, the universe loves me." Jack shrugged his shoulders and went up.

He picked up the take out and wine and went back. To his surprise Ianto hadn't fallen asleep, he'd sat up and covered himself with a blanket. Apparently he claimed that blanket; Jack didn't argue, he'd earned it. Jack put on his shirt with stripes before he settled himself on the other side of the bed.

"Sit back, I got this." He discouraged Ianto from helping him out. The fact that he complied showed just how tired he was.

"Can't believe it, but I can eat." Ianto shook his head and started to eat.

Jack stretched his legs and made himself comfortable. Luckily Ianto was pleasant company even after sex. He didn't demand any attention or reassurance. It was surprising really, how often people need fake affection just to feel like they didn't have wild sex without special meaning.

"So," Jack intertwined his fingers when he was done with eating. "Will you ask for revanche Ianto Jones?"

"Oh no, you won fair and square. I couldn't top that. I've reached my limits." He filled his lungs with air and lifted his shoulders like he did when he was uncomfortable. Jack lifted his eyebrows, he couldn't let that happen, if he's won, that means that Ianto had lost. That wasn't very stimulating for future encounters.

"Well I don't know about your limits. My wrist strap said that you had few more hours in you, I just didn't rehydrate you on time, and that damn chocolate was out of reach, it would give you the sugar that you needed." He bends and reached for the chocolate that had fallen a few feet from the bed.

"That's Owen's," Ianto said when Jack started to open up the chocolate wrapping.

"He owes you a chocolate. Besides," He pressed his wrist strap against Iantos ankle. "You still need sugar." He pushed the open chocolate towards Ianto. Ianto smiled and took it.

"I didn't know that it can tell you that." He nodded at the wrist strap.

"Oh," Jack rubbed his wrist. "It can tell a lot, almost anything about a body that's in touch with it, from blood pressure to its contents, sudden attacks to status of digestion. We're in luck that you have such slow metabolism and eat so little."

"Hey!" Ianto pushed him with his foot shocked.

"What? Would you rather die of a sudden heart attack in the middle of an orgasm? I'm not that irresponsible."

"No." Ianto settled down. "I can't believe you programmed it to help you in your sex life; that's almost like cheating."

"In my time it's a normal precaution, sex is a dangerous thing. I can go without it, if it bothers you."

Ianto shook his head.

"It's OK, I'll feel safer with it. God knows what you'll think of next." He slid down into the bed. His eyelids were nearly closed, but he fought it. It was a lost cause. His body had received the sugar that it lacked and was ready for recovery.

Jack was very still, he watched as the young man lost his battle with sleep. His face lost its sharpness and cleaned itself of emotions. Lately Jack hadfound sleep disturbing. The other person was so unprotected and unaware that he got scared just by watching them. Ianto was no exception; he looked so exposed that Jack felt the urge to protect him. He got up quietly and picked up containers and glasses. He left Ianto to sleep in privacy.

When he sat behind his desk he wrote down a number in the stopwatch list. Not bad, not bad at all. He smiled. He wasn't sure that any of his lovers that he'd had since he was stranded on this Earth, were even close to that number. Before, it was easy to get even further, but there were ways of technology that could find such good usage in bed, and there were aliens. He missed friendly sexy aliens, why did those kind never end up in his courtyard?


	33. Order and disorder

_Spoiler alert: Cyberwoman_

_Beta-ed: GlassSplinter  
><em>

* * *

><p>Ianto woke up disoriented. The smell of the bed was familiar but strange. The light was dim but it didn't look like daylight. Was it still nighttime? He felt as if he was run over by a train, like he was running for hours. He turned in bed and rubbed his eyes so he could see clearly. Oh, he remembered and sat up. He changed his position, he won't sit a lot today. He was alone in Jack's bed. Clearly he'd fallen asleep. When he spotted the clock he panicked a little. It was nine o'clock, the others would be there already, and his clothes... He sighed with relief when he spotted his suit neatly folded on a chair. Jack was kind to put it there, but nevertheless, the suit was irreparably crumbled by tossing. He got dressed and buttoned his jacket; hopefully nobody would look straight at him, they rarely did. He breathed in deeply and climbed up with all the dignity he could gather. He picked up Jack's clothes for dry cleaning so that he had a cover if anybody spotted him. Jack really should have woken him up earlier. He felt relief; Jack was alone behind his desk. He strode towards the door without hesitation.<p>

"Oh, morning," Jack began cheerfully.

"I'll be back soon." Ianto opened the door and went down the stairs, no point in postponing it.

He walked through the office area surprised by his luck. There was nobody there. He managed to get to his car without running into somebody. He left the clothes in the dry cleaning, went to his flat and changed, then popped in for some pastries. When he got back the Hub was still and empty. They must be out on a mission. He started coffee machine, the light was on in Jack's office. He sighed and went up with a tray.

Jack was smiling without lifting his head.

"Just what I need, a cup of coffee." He reached for the mug gratefully and breathed it in. "And yes, I can eat, thank you." He grabbed a pastry and leaned back in his chair lifting his feet up on the table. "So, what you'll do today?"

Ianto blinked and shook his head confused.

"Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you Owen declared this day free. They're off; you can take some time for yourself."

"Owen declared?" Ianto said with a smirk. "And since when is he the boss? You should have warned me, so I could quit on time." He started to straighten up the table.

"He wouldn't be that bad, would he?" Ianto raised his eyebrows doubtfully. "Anyway, he gave you a free day."

"No, thank you." Ianto dismissed that. "I'd rather clean up so that this looks like it should, at least for few hours, and I have loads of work in the archives." He grabbed the now empty tray and headed for the door.

"Or you could grab a coffee for yourself." Jack's voice stopped him at the door. He turned his head around. "Sit down, eat and maybe have some fun." For a moment Ianto smiled and gave Jack that look of his, under his eyebrows, but then he remembered how tired he really was, and because of that he straightened himself up.

"Tempting but I should, um, work." He offered a wider smile and retreated. He heard Jack's amused laughter behind him.

Ianto occupied himself with cleaning, and he really did succeed. The Hub looked almost decent. It's a pity that it would last only for a few hours. Owen, Gwen, Tosh, and even Jack would throw something and miss, or would simply put something in the wrong place. He sighed, there was nothing he could do about it, and he learned to deal with it in time.

Sometimes he longed for the clean and sterile surfaces of Torchwood one, but only sometimes, and only for a brief moment, because he'd remember what they did to Lisa. In the end they did let the Cybermen through. All those years fighting aliens made them self-assured, and greedy for more knowledge, more technology. They forgot that space is huge, and that they are not invincible. Knocking down that alien space ship gave them all reassurance that they needed to feel like they were the ones making decisions. He actually liked the personal character of Torchwood Three. It seemed to him, he realised it in time, that Jack was never too sure about the things they were facing. Of course there was technology that he was familiar with, and aliens he'd encountered before, but every now and then he looked around to see what was the right thing to do, was he going too far. Like that time that Gwen stopped him from shooting that man, the one he still dreamed about with his axe. Or that look filled with sadness after he gave up that girl to the fairies. Gwen was angry like hell at him, Owen an Tosh were stunned , but Ianto knew that Yvonne from Torchwood One would gave up a whole busload of children and wouldn't think twice about it, because she would believe strongly that she was right, that the world is exactly how she sees it. Jack will always doubt, that was why he let his people doubt him, defy him and even punch him in the nose. He would just carry on as if it was a discussion they needed to have. How far away that punch seemed to Ianto now, as if he was somebody else and it didn't pass that much time. Jack threatened to kill him that day if he didn't comply. He didn't comply to anything that day, and Jack just let it pass like he didn't ask him to kill her, to decide, like he didn't put the whole world in danger. The more he thought about it, the more his stomach twitched inside. They could've all died, Rihannon, and David, and Mica. When he thinks about it too much he drifts into the senseless darkness. He didn't even notice that he stopped in the middle of the Hub and stared into that future where he would've caused all that destruction, and this time, Torchwood wouldn't be the one to blame, it would only be him behind it all. He was startled from his thoughts by Jack's hand, put on his shoulder as he sometimes did in a comforting way.

"Are you ok?" Jack sounded worried.

"Yes," he nodded quickly. "Fine, just thinking, sorting things out."

Jack smiled.

"Ok," he said softly, as if he knew Ianto was disturbed. "Maybe we should have something to eat."

"Of course, Jack." He forced a smile on his face. "I'll order."


	34. The boss

_No spoilers_

_Beta-ed: GlassSplinter  
><em>

* * *

><p>Jack was puzzled by Ianto. He would think that he would be more understandable after he got to try him from almost every angle, but no, his face still hid his insides. Jack was the last person that had a right to complain about something like that. It was obvious that something was still troubling Ianto, but what exactly he couldn't tell. He presumed that he was still dealing with Lisa; it was obvious that he loved her very dearly. There wasn't a whole lot of people for whom Jack would go to such lengths to. He wouldn't have thought that Ianto was capable of that kind of endurance... well now he could. He smiled at his meal. He wasn't that cocky as to think that today was about him... ok, it was a little. It was fun to watch Ianto trying to act like nothing happened. He would probably have put more into his act if the others were there. This way he seemed confused, his audience was gone. Jack stripped him naked, that made him part of the stage, someone who knows that there are strings attached to his upright back, who's trying to be still like he isn't still sore and tired.<p>

He had to admire that young man and his effort to keep his world in focus, to keep moving. Jack knew everything about moving, moving forwards so that the past doesn't crush you. He leaned forward and put his hand on Ianto's knee. That startled Ianto from his thoughts once again. Jack couldn't help but smile at the struggle between accepting the touch, the closeness, a reaction he couldn't really hide, and the refusal of losing control, of exposing his wounds.

"You're daydreaming Ianto, go home, get some sleep." Jack kept his voice low and steady.

"Did you have any sleep at all?" he replied with a question that obviously bothered him.

"Oh, I'm a different kind Ianto." He grinned. "Only death tires me these days." Ianto wasn't pleased with the answer. Ianto opened his mouth in attempt to get clarification but Jack shook his head. "Just sign it off like you did these pheromones." Jack asked him. After a short hesitation Ianto nodded his head. He liked that about Ianto; he could just toss things aside and not bring them up.

In that moment the rift alarm went off.

"Just when I thought I would have a quiet afternoon!" Jack jumped towards the computer.

Ianto tiped on Tosh's computer.

"Weevils, sir." Ianto switched into his working mode. "Four of them, south side, moving."

"Yes, I can see them on the CCTV, which means everybody can see them." Jack already buckled his gun. "Let's go." Jack tossed a gun towards Ianto, who caught it with surprise.

"Should I call others?" he asked carefully.

"Why? There are only four of them, and it's not as if you've never hunted down a weevil before." Jack grinned at him suggestively.

"Ok, then." Ianto suddenly seemed taller as he stretched himself out. "I'd better get some weevil spray then."

Ianto seemed to wake up from the adrenaline. Jack had noticed that Ianto was spending time in shooting alley, but he was still surprised with the steady and secure way he was handling the weevils, they never even got to scratch him. He was always a step ahead, looking sharp. He didn't hesitate like he did in usual situations. Jack found that a very stimulating sight.

"Ok, that was the last one, sir." Ianto said seriously, closing the back of the SUV. For Jack that was the last straw. He grabbed the young man and pressed him up against the SUV.

"Who would say that Weevil hunting can be such fun, we should do this more often," Jack said sharply.

"Um," Ianto blushed slightly and turned his face away. "We should really go back, sir, the weevils are getting restless and soon it will be rush hour." Jack grinned widely because Ianto's groin and breath contradicted his flat voice.

"You're the boss." Jack mocked him and gave him the keys.

On the way back Ianto was tapping his thumbs on the steering wheel. Jack leaned back with a smile. Impatience was flattering, even more than the mere act of initiating their sexual encounters, because everyone was horny from time to time, but to want more after a night like last was just, well, nice.


	35. Consequences

_No spoilers_

_Beta-ed: GlassSplinter  
><em>

* * *

><p>Ianto felt like he was starving. His muscles ached, his eyes were full of sand, and his mouth dehydrated. He did eat recently but it was like he burned it up in a second. Hunting weevils gave him boost and he ran and grabbed like he was at his best, but it all went away when they stopped. Nevertheless, when Jack pinned him against the car his damn body reacted. He wanted to jump on Jack and bite him, lose control, but in spite of the blood that was thrusting through him his weariness remained. That was why he refused Jack. He expected that he would calm down when Jack released him but to his despair that didn't happen. He drove the car feeling like he was losing weight to feed his need. Damn traffic, it was so slow, he needed to get rid of this feeling as soon as possible.<p>

It was like he was moving on pure electric energy, any time it would run out and he'd switch off. They led the weevils down to the vaults. When he closed the door and the flow of necessary actions was over he felt lost for a moment. Jack just stood there looking smug, with his hands in his pockets, his legs apart and chest popped out. He looked open and inviting. Ianto should've turned around and gone up and away, to get some balance and sanity, but he threw himself onto Jack and bit down hard on his shoulder, pulling his hips closer. Jack's hands surrounded him in a tight embrace. Jack lifted his hand to Ianto's neck and the leather of his wrist strap ended on his skin.

"Oh Ianto, we should get you something to drink and sit you down." He sounded concerned. Ianto was too tired to contradict, to pretend he wasn't wasted, so he let Jack lead him up holding him by his waist.

Jack settled him in the chair by the kitchen and brought him bottle of water. Ianto noted that this one was left over from last night. He drank it whole, and still felt thirsty. Jack crouched down in front of him, supporting himself on his knees.

"Now you need to sleep, even food will exhaust you." He really looked worried, but Ianto couldn't concentrate on that because in spite of weariness his erection didn't stop draining him. He was too distracted by Jack's mouth and his touch to really hear him. He blamed it all on his damn pheromones.

"I'll try." He turned his face away from Jack, when he reached his apartment he'd get better.

"Ianto," Jack tilted his head, watching him closely. "You have the right to be tired."

"You're not," he replied critically.

"My endurance has its downsides; besides twelve hours of sex is a proper reason to be wasted."

"Twelve?" Ianto's eyes did widen in shock. "You could just kill me instead."

Jack chuckled.

"Yeah I tend to overdo it, but you didn't seem to mind."

Ianto snorted. Jack rubbed his leg and that made Ianto twitch.

"What's wrong?" Jack frowned and then just to test, reached for Ianto's groin. That made Ianto growl. "Oh, sorry Ianto, I didn't realise. Sometimes it happens, you're over stimulated. You can't sleep like that, but I can help you with that." His grin widened suggestively. "That is if you don't bite my head off in the process."

Jack obviously decided to take his growl as a yes. He reached for Ianto's belt and unbuckled it. When he finally touched his burning erection Ianto melted into his chair with a sigh of relief. He closed his eyes and let go. He didn't even care when he started to groan loudly. Jack hands and mouth was all that he needed. It didn't take long. When he came he almost fell asleep instantly. Jack's palms on his stomach kept him awake.

"Come on I'll drive you home." Jack buckled him in and helped him up.

"I have a car." He protested weakly.

"No way in hell are you going to drive like that." Jack's phone rang.

Ianto gathered it was Gwen; while he was talking he even helped Ianto settle into the seat.

"I'll pick up Owen and Tosh," he said and hung up.

"If they asked I was mauled by a weevil." Ianto murmured while he started to drift away.

Ianto managed to climb the stairs without Jack's help. When he got in he just tossed his shoes off and threw himself on the bed. After that it was just darkness, a welcomed kind of darkness.


	36. The kiss

_Spoiler alert: Random Shoes  
><em>

_Beta-ed: GlassSplinter_

* * *

><p>While Jack was driving from Ianto, he thought about why he felt unsatisfied. He'd just had sex like he hadn't in a long time, but something was still bothering him. It wasn't Ianto; he was great all the way, just like he should be, not too clingy and ready to play. The last bit was almost perfect. Ianto's cock felt like electric wire under his fingers and his mouth instantly filled with saliva. It almost satisfied the hunger in his mouth, but still. Owen entered the car and disrupted Jack's thoughts by complaining. Luckily his whining was almost cheerful; he obviously managed to score some in the mean time. Tosh entered in the back, quiet and absent. Jack unconsciously stroked his lips with his fingers.<p>

They went out and Gwen showed them an eye. The sixth eye of Dagon was an impressive find. Impressive was the fact that Gwen managed to scoop it out.

Jack turned his back to Gwen so he didn't see the materialisation; he saw the car but didn't notice the danger. Eugene stood there clearly visible and touchable. Gwen and he were entangled to each other and it became obvious from where Gwen got her supernatural sense. It was an amazing sight even if he knew it was a temporary event. Then Gwen gave Eugene a kiss and Jack realised what he was lacking. It was a kiss. A simple, unaggressive kiss which states that somebody is glad to see you, that you are missed, that somebody doesn't want you to go. Gwen grabbed his hand while Eugene was leaving. She sounded like a child, so heartbreaking. She loved so easily and truly that it scared him sometimes.

They drove back in silence. Gwen was exhausted and sad, Owen felt offended, Tosh activated the computer and updated herself.

"Four weevils," she remarked. "You should call for help."

"Ianto helped me," Jack said while he was parking.

"What, Teaboy held your coat so it didn''t get dirty." Owen smirked.

Jack didn't answer; he just tossed the eye to Owen and went down.

"Oh my god Jack, you made Ianto work his ass off." He looked bewildered around the clean and shiny Hub. "I say, you over work us all constantly."

Jack couldn't help but smile at that.

"Yeah, and that's why he has the evening off while you work through your delays. I want the report on that eye by nine o'clock."

Tosh and Owen got busy with the eye. Gwen sat there some time behind her desk, looking lost.

"Jack," she leaned in his doors, "I'll have to go home, and rest."

"Of course, you've done a good job. See you tomorrow." Jack dismissed her with wave of his hand.

He leaned in his chair and thought about the kiss issue. He couldn't really blame Ianto, and he didn't expect any real feelings from him. In the end he did kill off Lisa and that could never be changed. A not kissing policy was a smart one. Nothing throws you down like a good kiss. Face to face and up-close makes it very difficult to stay detached from the person you're kissing. And the kiss of course leads to other ways of expressing affection.

Ianto wasn't to blame that Jack had his back and forth struggle with questions of emotions. He tried to stay away from them, and keep things as light as possible. A casual relationship was his thing. But there was a space within him that craved love. He could soak it dry, and it was never really enough. Because it would run out long before the other person's did. Death took his lovers far too many times but more often it was time itself. Aging and changing made him almost impossible to love. But fortunately it made him darn sexy. He smiled and carried on with work.


	37. Mystic legend

_No spoilers_

_Beta-ed: GlassSplinter  
><em>

* * *

><p>Ianto woke up relaxed. The feeling was strange for him; he hadn't felt like that in ages. Only Lisa made him feel safe enough to relax. But she was gone. That made him sad, but the feeling was bearable, for the first time since the Cybermen came he could stand the thought of Lisa without falling into an abyss of terror. That was why he let her stay with him. He moved through his morning rituals slowly letting her accompany him. He could picture her moving simultaneously by his side. They had their morning ritual; she knew him so well that in her changing routine she didn't cross his path and disturb his well established rituals. At the end they would sit at the table across each other and she would smile with that proud smile. I did it again, it would say to him, I danced around you and didn't miss a bit. He loved that smile; because it told him that he could be loved, with his funny ways, and that he wasn't doomed to life of solitude. It was sad that she wasn't really in front of him, but he kept that sadness at bay just by picturing her there. When he closed his eyes he could almost smell her chocolate aromatic skin through the smell of his coffee.<p>

Then he exhaled and let her go for now. He had to go to work and he couldn't bring her with him, Jack was there, it would be confusing to have them both in the same spot, then he would have to choose. He won't do that just yet. Jack was fun company and made him relax. He smiled while he was locking his door, he sure did relax him. Maybe it took a few hours too long but it was accomplished. It was early so he didn't take a taxi to work. He walked and enjoyed the morning breeze. People would pass him by grumpy and hunched in the fight against morning cold. Ianto breathed in deeply. Sometimes it was fun to be alive.

He arrived early; his car was on the parking lot alone. He opened and closed the door just to hear the slam. The hub was empty. He sorted out his tourist office from the mess that was left from the day before. Between Jack, cleaning the office area, and weevils he didn't even visit his spot. Then he descended to the main area. To his surprise everything still looked tied up. There was light in Jack's office. Of course, he smiled to himself. His endurance was starting to puzzle Ianto.

He'd heard rumors about Jack at Torchwood One, but most of them were just too wild to believe. There he was an almost mythic creature; someone who could cut off Yvonne and stay alive and kicking. Insubordinate was the most common opinion of him. That he could believe because the reports that came from Torchwood Three, at least the ones that ended up on his table, were so vague and detail-less. It was very clearly for someone who could read subtle messages, and he could believe that made him a good analyst, that he didn't give a damn about his superiors. That reports were just a courtesy, a way to give them illusion of control. For some reason he never pointed out that lack of information, instead he just gathered up what he could and pass it on. It seemed that no one else was bothered about the Cardiff branch. He was more interested than most because of his origin. It was cool to have a whole rift in space and time by his door step.

The other part of the rumors about Jack was about his sex life. There seemed to be a common belief that no person could resist the Captain's charms, even Yvonne. He highly doubted that. The pictures that he found showed that he was handsome but still, not that much.

Ianto was amused by irony of it all. He climbed up the stairs to bring Jack his morning coffee. Who would've said that the mysterious Jack would become something ordinary for him; someone who drank his coffee, and to whom he can do certain things?

Jack was preoccupied with some round artifact. He didn't even lift up his gaze, just waved his hand to gesture where to put his coffee. It could be considered like a morning ritual, something similar to dancing, but a lot less personal. Nevertheless it was something, some actions that were repeated, and some kind of continuity. Ianto liked continuity. He didn't mind the lack of contact, on the contrary.

Jack reached for his cup and lifted his head with his usual self-assured smile. Maybe that smile was the thing that encouraged the legend of his bedroom skills. When his eyes reached Ianto's face his face changed into something less smug, something almost real, there was surprise on his face, maybe fascination. Ianto wondered what triggered that change, but he wasn't too bothered. It was a nice change and he offered Jack his wider smile.

"Morning sir, everything seems in order. The others aren't here yet so I'll take the opportunity to sort out their reports from yesterday. If you need anything else I'll be in the archives."

"Whatever you say Ianto," Jack purred leaning back in his chair. He looked inviting but Ianto just nodded his head and headed for the door. He felt Jack's gaze on his back but didn't turn back. In one thing Jack was right, in some wayds he was the boss of their fling, whatever it was. Jack gave him the space to lead, and to back up if he feels like it. Maybe that was the thing that made him a mystic legend, his ability to adjust himself to the other person's limitations.


	38. Sky patterns

_No spoilers_

_Beta-ed: GlassSplinter  
><em>

* * *

><p>Jack sighed letting go of the pressure to act. His well trained instincts warned him to restrain himself. Ianto surprised him while he was lost in the Dagon sixth eye. He wasn't crazy enough to swallow the sucker, but it was tempting to temper with it. Only touch gave him some almost forgotten sights. Faces that were lost in the blur of time. It was enjoyable really, most of the night, but there were disturbing memories, things he liked to forget from time to time. That's why he'd store the damn eye, shortly. Ianto caught him in the middle of a pleasant memory of Estelle.<p>

He lifted his face, feeling good, but Ianto's face took him by surprise. He looked different today. He looked kissable. Maybe that was just that tricky eye, but Ianto looked almost reachable. It seemed like he could get up and just kiss him fiercely and in succession, spread him across the table and fuck him senselessly. He would've done just that if there wasn't a nagging feeling that Ianto's front wasn't for him, that he wasn't there for him. His departure showed that his nagging feeling was right as usual; Ianto didn't belong to him. He would be a fool to kiss him first, not after he'd clearly declared that his lips belong to Lisa.

He rolled the sixth eye in the corner of the desk. Enough of that for today, he was beginning to be touchy; someone might think he was becoming jealous. Not him, not over Ianto. That was why Ianto was perfect shag, because the boundaries were there, limiting the amount of damage they'd inflict on one another.

To erase that moment of weakness he searched for Ianto in the archives, because that was an invitation. He breathed down Ianto's neck and young man leaned back at him in a soothing way. He kissed his neck and ear, but in the end Ianto managed to turn things around, backing him up against the stone wall. He couldn't be blamed for covering his back for awhile. He felt better with that notion.

Back in his office he found Gwen settled on his desk, turning the Dagon eye absently.

"Oh, Jack." She put down the eye and stood up. "What now?"

"We carry on, like we always do. Look into your records, I'm sure Tosh will have something disturbing and interesting for you."

"Of course." She smiled weakly. "Is this genuine then?" She pointed at the eye.

"Undoubtedly. Owen scanned it and took wipes, Tosh ran it through some tests. They are fierce team, together they can crack any puzzle of alien origin." He grinned proudly and ignored the slight glimpse of guilt on Gwen's face. "Like you can with human puzzles," he added fondly.

She smiled at him as a reward, that sweet smile. She nodded and went down. He sat down feeling good, nothing like good exercise, even better if it's sex indulging exercise.

After that Tosh came in with some scans of sky patterns. They studied it for awhile.

"The rift is twirling," Jack said, worried.

"Yes but what does that mean exactly, what can we expect?" She sounded alarmed, she never got used to uncertainty. She loved knowledge too much to give in to the helplessness that came with an unpredictable world.

"We'll just have to look, won't we?" Jack jumped up ready for some action. There were enough calm days to make him feel uncomfortable. He liked when trouble came in a regular dosage, because when the universe plays dead something is on its way. He shrugged that pessimism off, he'd lived too long to be scared of universal jokes.


	39. Right thing

_Spoiler alert: Random Shoes, Out of Time_

_Beta-ed: GlassSplinter  
><em>

* * *

><p>Gwen felt uneasy driving beside Owen. The last couple of days had given her some perspective on her life. How had she lost her grip on things? Why in hell did she think that Owen would provide some kind of resolution, sense to all the nonsense that was Torchwood? He was bitter and lost, and he dragged her down with him into some strange world where sex itself was the only purpose. That wasn't her; she wasn't that kind of person was she? Maybe it was all just shock, yes shock, it was shocking really to step into a new world full of unknown threats. But that was bullocks. She knew it was, because she loved the new world however disturbing it may be.<p>

She found the three new people exciting, however sad it may be. It was better than ending up dead in a canal. They would meet new people and life would resume. The young girl Emma was so refreshing; spending time with her eased some of grief that Eugene had left behind. That loss had hurt her more than she cared to admit.

The time he would spend with her, the days that he followed her around were different from those before. Before she had felt lost and alone, unprotected, unable to sort things out and do the right thing. She was out of focus. At first she just had a nagging feeling, but as days passed the sensation grew stronger. She felt like she wasn't alone. Since she had started at Torchwood the solitude began to crowd her, she felt separated from her old world, even from Rhys. The thing with Owen made things even colder between them. She convinced herself that Rhys was as cheerful as usual, that she wasn't doing anything real. Owen was a part of the Torchwood universe; it was just something that she needed to stay sane. It wasn't like she was shagging Jack, it was just Owen, and Rhys would know he was better than him any day. So she carried on with it.

When she realized that Eugene was the one making her feel like herself again, she wanted him to stay, to love her and keep her together. But he was gone with his small remarks which she could hear like a whisper. His departure hurt and she felt unprotected and unloved. Owen didn't love her and Rhys didn't really know her anymore, he didn't know what she could do, and what could happen to them all. But she carried on stubbornly, trying to get it right, to just keep going, as if the wrong things could turn right. Still, she discovered that she didn't have the strength to turn things around.

Strange, but in the end that girl with a new job in her hands, cheerfully marching into the future gave her the strength to remember what's important. She was surprised at the amount of discomfort that she felt looking at her life through her eyes, it all seemed somehow wrong. She wouldn't approve of any of it. Except Rhys; Rhys seemed to be the one right thing, the person that persisted even when she left him for no apparent reason; Rhys with his endless and detailed stories, who seemed to look at her like she was the world, like she was precious. How could she ever forget that and exchange it for Owen's empty hunger.


	40. Pure and strong

_A/N: it switches between Tosh and Owen_

_Spoiler alert: Out of Time  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>Tosh wasn't interested in the people that came through the Rift. It was sad and all but they were just people, not aliens or some unknown piece of tech. She helped with the search but it was such a rudimental job that she could let the computer do it by itself. She had more important things to do like run translation software, constructing other layers of protection for the Hub because she was uneasy with recent events and Jack's hints that some sticky little creatures could penetrate their defenses without an effort. That just wasn't acceptable, not on her watch.<p>

Of course she noticed that Holmes women, Diane. Owen had that humble look in front of her that amused smirk. She knew how that was going to go down; like she knew that Gwen wouldn't even put a real effort into Owen. It was so predictable with Owen, really, she knew him so well. He didn't know that she knew, he thought that he was complicated and unreachable, but he was so easy. Women didn't see that because of his hard exterior. For example Diane could make him crawl in a second, and she would. Owen was irresistible in that way, you just had to embrace him. Of course he would fall hard for Diane; she had that pure vibe of a mature queen. Owen loved strong women, someone he could look up to. He despised weakness, like he started to despise Gwen's childlike attempt to keep everything the same, like things hadn't happened; like she was still pure.

Tosh didn't have illusions that she was still pure, but she couldn't just act like her body was a simple toy for numberless attempts with all the wrong people. She made mistakes often enough thank you. And she still was struggling with consequences. Sometimes she still thought about Mary but she tried to do that as little as possible.

She couldn't really blame women for trying out Owen; she would do the same if she could believe that she could keep him. She couldn't just let go and survive when he turned his hard loathing against her and he would. Gwen just turned her back on him and didn't even see the way he looked at Diane, she didn't care anymore. But Tosh knew that she couldn't do that. She couldn't really even get mad at him for it, because she understood too well from where his desperation came from. She was there when Jack found him, she saw that different and broken Owen, that lovable man that had lost. It wasn't his fault really, that he mended like he did, crooked. Women were there, and none of them were worthy of love, of a sacrifice that he was willing to make.

Tosh wasn't sure that she was that kind of woman, strong and sweet. She was too weak, too unsure, and too small, she couldn't give him assurance that she would be there, and that she would weather.

* * *

><p>Owen was swept away by Diane, by her manners, by her posture, by her solitude. The fact that she was superb in bed didn't help in his attempt to keep himself together. Her melancholy was so familiar yet so seductive. He forgot how it was for him, how lost he could get in someone complex enough. And she was complex, surprising, her loss was real. He had that need to heal that kind of gap, that kind of space, to fill it full. And he did try with all that he had. But it wasn't enough, of course it wasn't, he lost the thing that made him whole, made him capable of really helping someone. That's why he wasn't able to keep her there. That's why he wasn't any good to anyone alive anyway; corpses had become his everyday life. For them he could be what he had become, bitter and angry. What else could he give to this world than anger; it didn't deserve anything else, not with its meaningless dragging. It showed you something beautiful from time to time just to say 'you can't have it, of course you can't, and you're not good enough'. Messing around with Gwen just rubbed that acknowledgement a little deeper under his skin.<p> 


	41. Values and rules

_Spoiler alert: Out of Time_

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>Jack was smitten with John and his old fashion values. Not in the way that he would seduce him, it was clear that he couldn't be reached like that, but in the way of friendship. He could understand John better than he could understand himself. His pride and his ways of viewing the world, expecting it to behave in an acceptable way that made sense, it was just adorable. He forgot how much he loved that era and the time that preceded it. Sure, things were horrible behind the door; there were so many prejudices, so many boundaries, but their belief in a world that complied with their commands, that they could predict the future made them innocent in their play of life. It was enjoyable to be near it once again, it was like time had bent and a younger him and a present him could enjoy it together, drinking a pint with a man that believed strongly in the world that he came from. It would be hard for him to adapt, he would have to break his beliefs to adjust himself to new surroundings but it could be done. He had done it many times to adapt to new circumstances. You had to leave a part of yourself behind to keep going, often that included the people that needed to be forgotten.<p>

His clothes, suitcase, radio, his careful movements told him the story of that man's life. Of all the order and slow days, all the approval of his surrounding, the respect he earned. He was lucky to have that kind of life, shielded from the chaos of changing history around him. He held a strong grip on that life, on that future that he had foreseen for himself and those around him. It was hard for him to see what life had brought for his son. That was hard, Jack knew, maybe the hardest thing, to be forced to see all of demeaning outcomes that life brought to your children. It was merciful really to die when your children were still young enough that you could believe that they would have different destiny, that they wouldn't shrink when faced with life, that they wouldn't be defeated.

It was heartbreaking, but there was nothing he could do for John, he wouldn't let him. In his world John was obligated to do everything by himself, he was provider and caretaker, he deeply believed that. He couldn't accept the world where things didn't convey like they should, where everything he ever believed, he ever did was crushed by time, eaten like it had never been. Everything was useless, inutile. Jack could understand that feeling, he walked through it more times then he'd like to admit. He understood the solitude, the fear, the unknown rules and incomprehensible values. He was so used to standing alone in the middle of a changing world that he was apprehensive to someone else that was lost in time and left without anyone.

Jack needed him to overcome those obstacles, to sustain the pain and go on, but that was too much to ask. In the end he realized that, unlike him, John had a choice, and that he could simply die. He let him do it. He sat beside him inhaling smoke that wouldn't even grant him comfort of a temporary death. It took more and more to kill him. The other man died and, not for the first time, death seemed like a reward Jack couldn't receive. He hoped in that moment that Suzie was wrong, that there was something else besides darkness out there.


	42. From time to time

_A/N: Ianto's waiting_

_Spoiler alert: Out of Time  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>Ianto waited by the phone. Jack had taken off his ear piece when he left the car and he couldn't know what was happening. The suspense was almost unbearable. He watched the three people that arrived from a distance. They were only passing through and there were no need to get too involved. Tosh seemed to understand that, but the others were taken in by their destinies. Ianto did take care of them, he was the one finding them accommodation, driving them around, and helping them with shopping. But they were from a different time and didn't try to make contact with him. He was just a servant for them, an employee, and no one important. He was fine with that. His invisibility saved him a lot of grief over the years. Their loss was tragic, but that's life, it throws you left and right just to drop you in a place you couldn't imagine in your wildest dreams. Why would they be protected from its whims? They had an opportunity to live on after something that would mean their certain death. That was a gift that not many were offered.<p>

He could clearly see that it was hard on the newcomers. They clung to their past, that was understandable, but there were nothing left to save, nothing at all. He knew everything about staying in the past so he stepped back.

Jack wasn't so composed like he was, of course he stepped closer drawn in by the suffering. Ianto watched Jack talking to John, listening. He didn't have to watch too closely to comprehend nature of that relationship. It clearly wasn't sexual. John Elis had that uptight personality that didn't accept just any kind of sexual approach. Jack was clever enough to adjust himself to that. He didn't show any of his everyday flirtatious nature, he didn't even try to impress either of the girls. They didn't even notice that he existed. That was strange to watch, a non-sexual Jack, serious and friendly. He even addressed Ianto in that formal business manner. Ianto adjusted to that but he would welcome Elis's departure.

He didn't find anything special about Elis but Jack did, so he did what he had begun to do lately, and watched him through Jack eyes. That way he could see the beauty of his withdrawn nature. He could understand what Jack saw in him because Elis looked like Jack when comparing Jack to Ianto. Jack looked young beside him. Ianto knew that was just a trick of light and shadow, and that Jack may be older than Elis. Ianto had no idea how old Jack really was. He heard rumours back in London branch about Jack's strange ability to age slowly. He even heard rumour that he was left behind like the Doctor's spy. What people wouldn't invent; anybody that was merely strange had to have something to do with the elusive Doctor that they all feared, and who came and saved them from their own stupidity.

Beside the rumours he knew things that he learned after he met Jack personally. Things he would say as a half joke with that smile of his. Ianto listened and didn't dismiss anything as preposterous; because he learned with Torchwood that even the wildest dreams became simple and dull compared to the reality of their existence.

He knew about 51st century pheromones, of course he knew that was real. He knew about that coat, you don't just wake up and decide 'I will dress up like I'm from WW2'. No you have to grow into something like that, and Jack blended with his coat. He always smiled while he thought about that coat. He didn't lie, that coat may be the reason he dragged Lisa all the way here. In that coat Jack looked like he could protect them from anything.

He always talked about the 21st century like it was something exotic and new, like he knew it from a distance, but the details were lost to him. Ianto helped him more than once on communication and rules. He didn't know things you learned by growing up in the century, things his dad, Mr. Elis or any of his teachers would know, things about should haves and must haves. On the other hand he knew things that were always difficult for them. Technology was easy game for him, alien tech and the newest inventions just made him smirk like he was looking at something old and outdated.

Ianto's latest theory was that Jack fell through time like Elis and the girls did, but he landed on his feet. His aging may be, like pheromones, a result of technology in the 51st maybe. Just how far did he fell? How long had he lived around here? Had he jumped forward from time to time? And why did he choose this place of all places?


	43. Hard gifts

_Spoilers: Out of Time_

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>With those questions and theories Ianto occupied himself while he was waiting for Jack to phone or show up. He didn't think about the tension he felt during it. He didn't think of what Elis was going to do with his car. It was too simple to comprehend. Some people just weren't able to take life's strange and hard gifts.<p>

He was angry at Elis when Jack showed up with empty eyes, apologizing like he was to blame for everything, and a stiff Elis in the passenger seat. He took the lead and handled Elis.

"I've got this." He said to Jack when he tried to help. He just nodded and left. Ianto looked at Elis and didn't feel compassion. How he could do that to Jack? After all the effort Jack put into him he could at least have the courtesy to go and do it somewhere else, somewhere where Jack wouldn't have to be involved. Ianto could have chosen that path after Lisa was gone, but in spite of his anger he would have done it properly, somewhere where he would be lost forever. This way the guilt would always be left behind, feeling that he could do more. Jack had done more than enough.

He put Elis's body away and went to Jack's office. He sat looking off in the distance. Everything smelled like exhaustion fumes. He felt the urge to hug and comfort the older man but he wasn't invited, it wasn't his place to do so. He picked up the coat from the hanger. It was also soaked in smoke like Jack; it had been around a very long time surrounded by death.

"Your clothes sir" He suddenly spoke up. Jack twitched surprised by the fact he was still there.

"Excuse me Ianto?" Jack was unable to make any effort to make this a joke.

"I need your clothes sir, they need to be cleaned." Ianto persisted; determine to leave nothing behind of Elis to ambush Jack tomorrow morning.

"Oh" Jack looked down. "It smells, doesn't it?" He got up and started undress right there and then.

Ianto couldn't look away. He saw Jack undress many times now but it was always sexual and inviting, aware of the grateful audience. This time Jack barley knew he was there. It was simply the act of undressing, and when he was done and all the clothes were on the desk he stood there like he was still dressed. There wasn't a feeling that he was reachable or vulnerable just because he was naked.

"I should probably have a shower too." He said distantly and turned. "See you tomorrow." He said like Ianto would follow him at a moment like this. When he disappeared in his manhole Ianto supported himself on the desk. He stood there for a moment shaken and then started to collect the scattered clothes.

Ianto once again cleaned up the mess.


	44. Tall, dark hero

_Spoilers: Out of time_

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian_

* * *

><p>The next day things in the Hub didn't look any better. Ianto left his car at the car wash detailing and an outside wash. But he knew it was in vain. He'd have to get rid of the car, not because of himself; he couldn't care less that a dead body was in it, but because of Jack. He noticed when they got outside in the car park; he carried equipment for them and he saw Jack's gaze searching for his car absently looking at the empty space. When he didn't find it he just left without a glance back, without a smile, wink, or a joke; nothing the whole day to anyone, not just him. Gwen sat behind her desk playing with her computer not willing to face anyone; she wasn't upset, just uncertain. Owen looked like death on leave; his temper was more than sensitive. He burst out at Ianto a few times over small things. Ianto was the one sorting reports about the three time travelers so he wasn't upset with him. He could read between the lines. The little doctor would never send someone out that didn't have power over him into almost certain death. He would stick a needle in her and just say 'not on my watch' and he wouldn't care about what that person thought of him later on.<p>

When he sorted the reports in the drawer he put Emma's file on top. Three destinies and she was only one who managed to accept the gift of a life in a new place and time. Maybe she was simply young enough, like he was young enough to carry on.

Tosh was only one who seemed to be untouched with recent events.

"Finally" She turned triumphant just to discover that there was nobody to share her latest accomplishment. She carried on in spite of the lack of interest. "I cracked the sticky ball code, it was based on chemical substances that turned into waves, I had to adjust what was sent out to a liquid density and then it all became clearer. I just need to sort out the meaning of the parts that are repeated."

"Aha" Murmured Gwen without lifting her head. Owen didn't even make a sound to show that he heard her. Jack just nodded his head looking serious.

"Send it to my office when you're done." He turned and slowly headed toward his office.

Tosh turned and looked at Ianto puzzled. Ianto gave her one of his reassuring smiles trying to transfer his support. She returned his smile and jumped to her feet.

"Come on my tall, dark hero, let's go have a pint to celebrate my success, and then we will bring lunch to the grouches." His eyebrows jumped up in surprise, Jack turned startled on top of the stairs. "That's if you don't need us Jack." She smiled with apology.

"No." He shrugged his shoulders looking at Ianto with an absent frown on his face. "Have fun." He turned to his office and Tosh took Ianto under his arm and dragged him out of office. He felt warmth on his cheeks because of her hero joke.

Tosh was chatting on the way out and all through the streets to the pub. She talked about her work, explaining details to him. He knew that she didn't forget about her audience. She was simply sure that he followed her and understood what she was saying. She almost never spoke in such details to others except Jack. Ianto felt flattered by that. The woman had evaluated him and he was rated well in her book.

They sat across from each other at a tall table and ordered a pint of beer.

When she made a pause in her report and looked around Ianto spoke up.

"So, where did that hero joke came from?"

"Oh, it's not a joke." She answered absently watching closely at a couple talking by the counter.

"Really?" Ianto mocked ironically.

"Yes Ianto" She turned her attention to him seriously. "Don't think I forgot how you saved me from the cannibals, and that I'm not aware of the beating you took instead of me. That's heroic enough for me." Ianto shrugged his shoulders feeling embarrassed.

"You do those kinds of things every day."

"Yeah, it's kind of in my job description, you did it for me in spite of your fear." Ianto stared at his glass, of course she remembered his fear, and he remembered it too, especially at night. She reached out and touched his hand slightly. They exchange a smile and Tosh continued with her techno chatting.

* * *

><p><em>I have to mark this spot. I hit the 100th page in this story. I can't believe I got this far, and in English. I just want to thank all of you who got this far. Thank you who pushed alert, and gave reviews. I'm hoping that I didn't got sidetracked in my attempt to stick to the actual show. There's still some road ahead because my goal is love after all. Hope you enjoy this story as much as I do. Your opinions will be welcomed.<em>


	45. Keeping score

_No spoilers_

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>"Did anyone mention some kind of a hero?" Owen spoke up long after Tosh and Ianto had gone.<p>

"No one was talking about you, don't worry." Gwen replied to him and they fell back into silence.

Jack sighed and closed the door to his office. He had hoped that something big would happen soon. He was way too distracted. He felt his shell of solitude close around him. His awareness of passing time was on alert. He liked when he was able to forget that these people and this time was on the verge of disappearing. In a few short years and he would have to find some new people to impress and hide himself from.

He sat down and read some reports but he was aware that he was waiting for Ianto and Tosh. Her comment caught him off guard but he knew she was right. Except that she left handsome out of her description, she was right that he had shown some heroic qualities. He was selfish to keep him inside of the Hub. He was safe inside here and how often did Jack have the opportunity to keep someone safe. Nevertheless he knew he was wrong, keeping Ianto making coffee and cleaning was demeaning. He could so much more.

He brought up his file from Torchwood One. Of course they had run him through all sorts of tests before taking him in. They worked like that; figures and parameters were all that they saw. Ianto was capable, he knew that from experience. Even in his state of mind, a smile crept across his face. But Ianto shouldn't be cut off just because his boss had a thing for him. The coffee butler thing was born out of Ianto's despair and Jack's anger. He shouldn't have let it drag on for so long. He could justify himself by the fact that Ianto's coffee was divine, and that he wasn't exactly aware that he was shielding the young boy. That wasn't fair towards the rest of the team. He would be gone soon, the century had turned, and he was guaranteed that the Doctor would show up. After that they would need all the resourcefulness that they could gather, and Ianto was resourceful.

He called Owen up. After Suzie turned on them he considered Owen next in line, and Owen did seem to display that in more frequent opposition to his commands. That wasn't bad, Jack liked second opinions, but Owen seemed off balance, not reliable to react rationally. He hoped that Tosh would even that out.

"We should include Ianto more in field missions, I think he's ready." Jack started giving Owen his file across the table.

"Don't be stupid Jack." Owen replied without opening the file. "He almost pissed himself on the last mission. And he can barely be trusted after that entire cyber-girlfriend thing. You would know that if you weren't thinking with your dick. Why are you so bad at rejection? You're not irresistible, get over it."

Jack just glared at him for few moments.

"Like you did so much better on that mission; as I remember it you were tied down on your knees as well. And if you want details, you left the keys in the car and Ianto got us there in the first place, so I wouldn't keep score if I was you."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah" Owen lifted his hands in defense and put down the file. "It was the shitty mission and we all got a go through the mud. But really, Tea Boy on a mission? He's good at cleaning and coffee, he'll only get hurt out there."

Jack leaned back in his chair as Owen hit his weak spot. But he reminded himself that death came in all sort of shapes and that he wasn't the master of it.

"You can get hurt too." Jack replied seriously. "Don't be so petty, when we're in danger we need all the help we can get. And just to remind you he did get Tosh out long enough to avoid further damage, we weren't very good at keeping Gwen safe."

Owen dismissed that with a shrug but didn't complain further.

"I guess he can drive." He admitted. "And after all, you are the boss aren't you. Maybe you can order Ianto to sleep with you too so we can get some rest from your bickering."

"Get out of here." Jack's voice sounded tired. "Get some work done and get some sleep tonight, you look like crap."


	46. Flustered and small

_Spoiler alert: Combat_

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>Owen didn't comply. He was bad at complying. He went out and pissed himself. He didn't even remember if he'd scored something or not, but he got a bad feeling that he just sat there all night staring at his glass, not thinking and not feeling. He was such a mess, why would she stay, why did he ask her to stay, it wasn't like he would change, would he? He was too far gone, there was no turning back, anger and bitterness became too familiar, too comfortable. He could bare the world from that distance; he wasn't in danger of becoming too cozy. But she broke that barrier and where did that leave him; drunk in a bar without a desire to even feel out some fresh or less than fresh skin.<p>

A chance to be someone else came as a relief but that bloody smug man drove him to the edge. Was he like that, cold and distant? He sure didn't like it when he pounded that tied up Weevil. But he could understand Mark, although Mark was much further gone than he was. At least that's what he was hoping for.

The fighting arena was too much for him. That tortured Weevil and useless man that thought this was a way to prove something. He was furious. He'd hunted down so many Weevils, fought them, got bruised and scared, but he'd never put them through something such as this. He understood their nature far too well to be so cruel. When that smug, cowardly Mark pulled a gun on him he calmed down, completely. He knew he and Mark weren't the same. That Mark guy was just a thug, he did talk big but he was just a small, young, bored man with a small imagination. He would show him what fearlessness meant.

He walked toward that gun not only because he knew Mark wouldn't shoot, he wouldn't because he didn't want to lose the comfort of his life, but because he really didn't fear death. He hadn't dreaded it for a long time. To have such fear you had to have something to live for. Owen wasn't that rich, Diane was just a small beacon in the dark, a lighter that made him believe that there was something out there for him, but naturally it dimmed very fast. Mark put down his gun and Owen smiled in his face and went down to the cage.

He wasn't interested in Mark's babbling. He was over that and knew he spoke only words, how could he even start to understand what Owen knew about life and space. Owen stood in the middle of the cage and felt serenity fall over him. He knew what to do and he was determined to show that group of thugs what control was, and how shallow their efforts were. He breathed calmly and controlled the confused and bewildered Weevil with his eyes and his posture.

Then all hell broke loose and Jack bloody Harkness strode in to save the day. How typical of him. Owen lost his composure, the Weevil was crazed by the shot and attacked; he launched himself at Owen's throat. He screamed from the pain, but also from the anger and frustration. He wanted to kick every one of them. That was his moment of resolution, his life or death, his deliberation, and they took it like they took everything else.

When Jack showed up in a hospital Owen couldn't even look at him. Jack Harkness who knew it all; knew who should live and who should die. What made him so special? Owen knew his job; he was fucking brilliant at it. He studied Weevils and their patterns of thought and behavior. Jack should have more faith in him, but that was just not what the big Captain does.

When he got back to work he went down to the vaults and faced the Weevils. When he was alone he composed his posture and showed the Weevils who was in charge and whom they should be afraid of. They cowered in the corner all flustered and small. There was no one to see that but Owen smiled satisfied.


	47. Arm's length

_Spoilers: Combat_

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian_

* * *

><p>Ianto didn't like the Weevil incident one bit. All that crazed driving through the night not knowing what the next turn would bring. That cold silence between Tosh and Jack; Tosh was the last one to doubt Jack, and her anger made Ianto uneasy; especially after that display of Weevil's feelings and pain. Running and shooting, pointing a small gun towards the crowd that surrounded him looking annoyed, not scared. He didn't understand why he was out there in the cold breeze of the night and not at the Hub monitoring and providing directions. In the end Gwen was the one giving him driving instructions. That was just wrong. Why was she sent home in the first place? What did she do? Not knowing drove Ianto crazy, he felt his control was shaken in more than one way. And in the end Owen slumped on the floor bleeding. Who would stitch him up; it was Owen's job to do so. Everything was upside down that night. Then Jack just let that man be slaughtered by a Weevil. It wasn't like Jack to be so distant and unemotional. After he talked to Owen in the hospital Jack just walked passed Ianto who was filling out the paperwork, it was like he didn't even seen him. He was straightened up and serious, his face looked like stone, like he wasn't even connected to his surroundings. The last time he had seen him like that was when he realized that Ianto was the one keeping the Cyber unit in the basement. Owen must have done something because he wasn't like that when he got in. He didn't seem disturbed that Owen was unarmed in Weevil cage. On contrary it seemed that all the running kept him a bit lighter than in the days since Elis past away.<p>

Ianto sighed. Obviously it was his job to get Jack back on track, back to a lighter mood and less serious attitude. He had hoped that Jack would repair himself, but this was dragging on too long, and Ianto wasn't in the mood for it. He also needed their encounters to keep himself sound, he wasn't exactly normal yet. The thought of searching for someone in the outside world, and going through all conventions of setting a relationship he couldn't carry out, made his stomach twitch and his fears to surface. Jack, in his lighter mood, could keep all the demons at bay, keep his sense of reality.

When he thought about it like that, he realized that it was his job to keep Jack sane; it was only fair to repay the favour. That gave him justification and he smiled. A nurse across the counter returned his smile. That startled him a little and he withdrew quickly, he didn't want to be caught in polite conversation that he would have to stir towards an unnoticeable departure. He didn't have time for that. He turned away from Owen's room. If he could put Jack down in just a few moments, he didn't want to see what he had in store for Ianto.

Tosh passed him by on her rush to Owen. He didn't stop her, some things you just couldn't do anything about.

When he got back in the Hub Gwen was crying, holding on to Jack. His face was still distant but a little less so. He couldn't really cut off Gwen, not when her heart burst open. She mumbled something about Retcon, and her boyfriend. It did disturb Ianto a little, the way she hung on Jack, but not much. It was her way, she and Jack shared that touchy side, and physical contact was natural for them. Besides he had to admit that she was doing him a favour. She softened that cold wall Owen lifted up and it would be easier to get Jack to play along, to find himself again. That's why he made coffee for both of them and then distracted himself from the situation. His presence would give an awkward note to their conversation. Before he turned around Jack's eyes touched him with a hint of worry. He smiled at him reassuringly and pointed towards archive doors. There was a slight change in Jack's eyes and his face turned into something almost soft. Ianto walked away knowing Jack watched him go. At the door he glanced back and noticed that Jack removed Gwen to arm's length and took a coffee to stand between them. Ianto smiled, this would be easier than he thought.


	48. Night after night

_Spoilers: Combat, Border Princes, Slow Decay_

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>Gwen fell apart that day finally realizing that her fling with Owen was just that, a fling that led nowhere. There wasn't even a friendly touch left, a reassurance, his promise that she would be able to talk with him was just a line. She did call it off but it seemed that Rhys wasn't happy with her anymore. When he met Jack he didn't even try to put on a friendly face, he shouted at her like she'd done something wrong. She was distracted by all things that went unsaid between them. It was an agreement really; at least it was a deal between them, to keep each other safe. She didn't want to know about all his Lucy business. For all she knew it could be something more, and that time she moved away, that time that was left in the fog, he could have done something, he never claimed differently. He got to work, he went out, what if he did the same things, what if he would forgive her and she wasn't brave enough to ask. Then Jack stepped in, and he looked so disappointed in her, was she so wrong, it was just fun, nothing more. She couldn't take it anymore; she had to know if Rhys thought that it was an awful thing to do.<p>

She had Retcon ready in her purse for business purposes and it was her safety button, a way to find out how wrong she was without consequences that Rhys would take hard. What would he do without her? He would fall apart. When she got back home that time the flat was in such a mess, he was such a mess and her heart broke for him, especially because she didn't remember why she has done it. She was Retcon resistant but no matter how much she thought about it she couldn't dig it out. That's why she couldn't do it again, not to him, she loved him too much. It's just that damn job, the horror that they were put through. She believed that she could drain it out with Owen's help but he was rubbish with emotions, as good as he got was in the sack.

She waited, becoming more and more nervous, and when it came out she blurted it out without reasoning, without proper explanation and the Retcon worked too fast, she gave him too much. He didn't even have the chance to forgive her and he would, wouldn't he? That doubt brought her to tears she couldn't sustain. She couldn't stand the guilt, his anger, disappearance of her everyday life. He waited for her every day, he did the dishes, he cleaned, and he did love her. What the hell was wrong with her? She couldn't stand silent apartment while he was sleeping drugged. So she went down to the Hub hoping for company, for senseless comments, Rift alerts, things for her to forgot about Rhys, because she thought that it was ok to cheat on him, that he wasn't as important as some stranded aliens.

No one was there. In the silent Hub she couldn't control her tears. There wasn't anything for her here, any company or consolation. She could barely see what it said on her phone. Luckily the phone rang and she was able to get to work. That got her through the hour. The next few hours were easy, it was all familiar; running, Retconning, and sorting. But then they got stuck in the hospital with Owen. She couldn't stand to be there with him after all he had put her through for nothing so she went back to the Hub alone. The silence was too much for her, the tears came back. She fought them with all her strength.

She expected Ianto any minute; he would make her coffee and complain that she shouldn't have brought pizzas and that they were cold. He would smile and offer coffee and she wouldn't have to say anything because he would pretend that he doesn't notice her red eyes, there would be no need for long explanations, and when others come in he would distracted them with coffee, food and reports. By the time they notice her she will be composed and protected by a mug of coffee. They don't even have to know about her defeat. She was almost glad that Owen was in the hospital. She was relieved that he wasn't badly hurt but she couldn't bear to look at him right now and not hate him.

She composed herself when the cog door rolled open but then Jack stormed in alone, cold and serious. She knew right away that he was mad at her and she couldn't help but cry helplessly. He paused a minute but then he crossed the space between them and hugged her. He held her closely like he was the one needing comfort but she didn't have chance to ask because Ianto came and brought coffee and in a moment everything was normal. No one was desperate anymore and it was just another day of troubles and solutions. She had her coffee and Jack his and their conversation became less emotional and more bearable.

"You have to be there when he wakes up." Jack said seriously. "This is the time to start from scratch, there are things we have to put up ourselves, and it's selfish to make somebody else to carry your burden. You can carry it because it was your choice in the first place. Sometimes humans do bad things and all that can be done is to live with it. The alternative is too terrible."

Gwen straightened herself up at his words. She felt silly, of course he was right. She was weak but she would get hold of it all. Rhys was important, more important of any alien invasion because without him she was all alone in the world and neither Jack nor bloody Owen would be there for her night after night. She would withstand this for Rhys, he deserve it. Her job got her sidetracked but she would kick anybody that stood between her and Rhys.

When she got home, Rhys was still sleeping curled on the sofa. She took off her leather jacket and steered herself under his arm. It was soothing that he was still there and she finally fell asleep. When she woke up, she found that Rhys has wrapped his arms around her in his sleep.

"How wasted did we get last night." He murmured and buried his nose in her shoulder. She smiled satisfied. This was her place and she loved it.


	49. Little sigh

_Spoilers: Combat_

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>Jack was enraged, he felt like a ping pong ball. It was like he had been tossed around, back and forth without stopping. For him the weevil combat began with Tosh. Her smugness was too much. She didn't even let him finish his sentences. It seemed like she had done everything he could think of, plus some things of her own.<p>

The thing with Gwen and her boyfriend Rhys was just routine; he was used to jealous boyfriends, it seemed like everyone became that way around him. It was funny really, because most of the time he wasn't a real threat because there were enough people without strings to pursue. Strangely those same boyfriends would just look over Owen and he was a real threat. That reminded him to send Gwen home. If she wasn't smart enough to go straight home after a disagreement like that he was at least smart enough to send her home. That was just the kind of argument that ended countless relationships. He knew that nobody liked to stand there hanging while the other person was running away.

Of course Owen dozed off and ignored him completely. He wasn't his boyfriend and he wasn't going to let him treat him like one. If he wanted someone to give him the silent treatment he would find someone better looking. He was his boss and there was work to be done. These were the things that made it difficult for him to be a boss. It wasn't in his nature to discipline people; it would feel hypocritical of him. He liked his team to be strong headed but sometimes it was just pain in the ass the way they felt free to be insubordinate. Maybe he gave Owen too much space.

That's why he stood behind Tosh and gave her the spotlight. She really did shine that day and he decided that her efficiency was a good thing, and nothing annoyed Owen more than when Tosh won. Of course that even his tapping on her shoulder backfired on him. It was just one of those days when everything went wrong. She felt so self-assured that she openly challenged his decision. That got even worse when that damn Weevil Janet was lost. He liked Janet and on top of losing her to those cruel murderers he had to admit to Tosh that he'd reached a dead end. He didn't feel better when she didn't use her 'I-told-you-so' moment. Owen would and he could argue with him. This way he could just drive back to the Hub and wait Owen to call. They were almost there when Gwen called and saved him from walking around helplessly.

This way he could get there just in time. It wasn't a sweet victory but it was a victory and he wasn't the one to be petty. Janet wasn't hurt so Tosh couldn't hold his plan against him. The fights were over and the Weevils could get back to skulking around like they usually did; potentially dangerous aliens they had to capture from time to time. The leader was dead by his own will; Jack wasn't the one to ponder about that. It was one person less to deal with. Owen was alive, that was a plus too because it wouldn't be easy to find new doctor that was obsessed like he was. Of course he was able to resent his own survival.

"Do you always know what's best, Jack?" Owen's words followed him to the Hub. He forgot about the team, he just wanted to be alone, to remind himself why the hell he is doing this, for whom? Nothing he ever did got him anywhere but guilt, hurt. Sometimes it seems that there was nothing else in the world.

Of course in the Hub there wasn't silence. Gwen was there and she was crying. Damn Owen, of course it was him, who else would turn his trusted team member into a wreck. He probably did it just to disprove Jack's belief in her. She didn't mention Owen but it was all too obvious. He couldn't really get mad at her. He understood her far too well. He was the first in line when it came to loving more people at the same time. He never really understood 'the-one' issue but it seemed others were firm believers in monogamy so he played along, never really into a serious parade of couples. But Gwen believed in that too and she was really upset so he did his best in giving guidance about relationships. If he was in a better mood he would enjoy irony of it all. He was sure that some of his exes would enjoy this sight.

Speaking of that he looked at Ianto suddenly worried how this looked from his point of view. He seemed undisturbed. That came as a relief, the first in a long few days. He even made small nod towards the archives. Did he make a competition out of his not sleeping thing? If he did he would lose. He put Gwen at a distance because his thoughts of contests weren't neutral thoughts anymore and Ianto hadn't challenged him in far too long.

After Gwen ran off to save her relationship Jack went to the archives. He was walking slowly thinking about Ianto. He was part of the reason Jack was off balance lately.

He wasn't rebellious like Owen, or self-sufficient like Tosh, or even troubled like Gwen. In fact he wasn't troubled at all, and he should be, at least a bit. He didn't rebel and he always asked for pointers, even when he knew everything there was to know. In many ways he was the perfect employee. God, he even shagged the boss. The others were never open to that kind of stress relief. But still.

Jack caught himself watching the young man, trying to find out what he was thinking. Not about their arrangement, he had a good idea where they stood, but about other things. Like in this case, he took him out in the field, in the hospital and out on the chase. But even before that they were standing in the vaults and he talked to the boy about the Weevils. It seemed normal but it was the way Ianto listened that made Jack feel like he could tell him anything. And there in the hospital Ianto was sitting there eating grapes looking adorable and Jack was too soft on the scared man. There were so many things he could have done to him, he could get more, but he couldn't bring himself to be that man that died countless deaths earlier, especially in front of Ianto. And that was his problem with Ianto. Jack cared what Ianto thought of him. He didn't care about Owen's disapproval, Tosh's valuation, or Gwen's challenging. But Ianto's acceptance meant something to him and when they lost Janet last night Ianto's little sigh disturbed him more than the angry silence that Tosh had gave him. He didn't like that.


	50. Quake

_A/N: Hey, here it is', one more bitter sweet chapter. I'm closing in on first series finale. I don't know how further this story will last. Your reviews could help me decide should I go in uncharted territory of The Year that Never Was. Originally I planned to go till Meat but I'm losing my swing. Hope you'll enjoy this one. I really do wonder what do you think of my point of viewing things. Love to my readers and all that subscribed so far :)_

_No spoilers  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>Ianto was beginning to feel nervous. Jack sure did take his time. Was he wrong in his estimation of the current situation? Maybe it would be best if he just took off home. There he would think of something else to do, something to ease the tension. Maybe a good video game, he used to do things like that, normal things, the things you could actually talk to somebody about if you met on the street. A strange relationship with your boss with whom you go hunting Weevils isn't really a pub topic. And the boss being a man wasn't helping either. He could picture that conversation in his head.<p>

- Hey, what did you do today? I gave presentation about sales figures and then drank a pint in the middle of the day.

- Oh, I shagged my boss senselessly after he got upset with all the Weevil torturing in an underground fight club. I don't like when he's down.

He could imagine the looks he would receive for that line; the Weevils would go unnoticed under the other pictures that would rise in their minds. But maybe the fight club phrase would be more interesting than gay sex, you never knew sex, gay or straight were becoming more and more boring, and it was everywhere. Fight clubs on the other hand seemed to be something more obscure; at least it seemed like that last night, there was quite a turn out. Ianto thought about it but he couldn't figure out why in the hell anybody would deliberately get into a fight with anyone, let alone a Weevil with his rage and everything. Then he remembered that he had picked up a fight with a Weevil to meet a man he didn't know, a man he was going to impress, seduce, whatever it took, to get what Lisa needed. And he succeeded in that task, in all the tasks, he even survived that Weevil. With that thought he heard Jack's unmistakable footsteps behind him. He didn't turn around immediately; he continued to go through the files in spite of the fact that he forgot what he was looking for.

Jack stopped near the entrance. Obviously he wasn't making this easy for Ianto. Ianto wondered why he had ever thought that this thing with Jack would ever get easier. Yes it seemed easy on the surface, just a casual shag, but underneath were emotions so deep that sometimes he didn't dare look at the other man. The moment was going on too long, and Jack could just stand there whole night, he was that stubborn.

Ianto sighed and turned around deciding that he would think of some excuse and get the hell out of there. He would find some ordinary place to get his sanity back. He already had his mouth open to speak but then he looked at Jack's face. It wasn't cold and stony anymore, but it wasn't a happy or playful face that he had shown in flirtation or sex. It was a worried face, like he was solving some troubling issue. It wasn't the concern in Jack that made Ianto close his mouth, it was the fact that Jack's face was open for him to see that emotion; it wasn't hidden behind a joke or smirk, or even his blinding smile. Just a thought of that smile made Ianto soft. If he would go and talk about his affair with his boss in the pub he would surely point out that his boss was blindingly beautiful, and that they didn't have a clue just how much. But maybe he wouldn't say anything so that they didn't come sniffing around in search of those pheromones.

Ianto crossed the space between them and without hesitation took Jack in his arms. To start he just leaned close and hugged him around his waist. He buried his mouth against his shoulder waiting for Jack to respond and soften enough for further action. It was too long; Ianto shouldn't let him drift alone in that way. Jack slowly wrapped his arms around Ianto's shoulders and as the seconds passed his grip became tighter. Ianto closed his eyes and just felt how the other man's chest moved with his breath. Finally he felt the tension loosen up, his grip softened and his hips moved in closer to show desire. That was enough for Ianto to move his head and start on his neck. He was too raw last time; he had to make up for that. Just because Jack was a man, it didn't mean he shouldn't be tender with him. After all that cruelty and anger he felt obligated to be gentle. Jack didn't seemed to mind, he let him lead. To diminish the serious effects of his actions he included one of his challenges into this encounter.

Could he shag Jack while standing face to face.

He didn't doubt that Jack could pull it off; he did have more weight and practice than Ianto. But the other way around gave him some thought. Pounding a small woman against the wall wasn't all that difficult, but with a man there was the fact of angle and weight. Luckily for Ianto he had spotted a place where he could go for that challenge. That's why, after he striped Jack's clothes off, he put a blanket around Jack's shoulders, the famous gray blanket. That took Jack by surprise.

"You were prepared." He almost purred satisfied.

"Well, sir, that damn Rift keeps us busy; I thought it was better to have accessories at hand for sudden occasions." He smiled and without further delay pushed Jack in the space between two filing cabinets.

It took some explaining and adjusting, and even some laughter, but he managed to position Jack leaned against the wall, supported by a short locker and his legs spread and fixed against cabinets.

"You know this is cheating?" Asked Jack with a grin while his cock twitched shiny and big in anticipation.

"No it isn't sir, my game, my rules." Ianto growled with a heavy breath, an exposed Jack did wonders for his drive. "I am standing and facing you, there weren't other conditions, Jack." With that Ianto leaned in hungrily.

There wasn't much Jack could do to him in this position, and he mostly used his hands to support himself on top of the cabinets, but Ianto discovered once more that his voice was enough to make it difficult to last and sustain himself. Hearing Jack moan and shout was enough to drive him crazy, but when he begged to be released Ianto couldn't say no, he could barely keep himself from going off immediately. That's why he stopped his movement completely and cupped Jack's cock that jumped between their bellies. He closed his eyes and leaned against Jack shoulder concentrating solely on feeling beneath his fingers. Texture of Jack's cock, soft skin, pumping veins, hard surfaces, all that made him forget where he was. He enjoyed it so much that he didn't prepare for Jack's release. His orgasm took him by surprise; he felt the rush beneath his fingers, and the sole pulsing of Jack's ejection made him come in the same instant. He came so hard that his whole body felt that quake.

Ianto stood there for a moment collecting his composure. He had to admit that Jack being a man wasn't an issue at all, that it was a rush of its own.

He pushed himself off Jack and looked at him, just to enjoy his features. He smiled satisfied because Jack's face reviled in joy, almost happiness. Ianto felt the urge to cup his face in the surge of pure fondness. He knew better then that so he pulled away to keep his hands busy.


	51. Inner shark

_Spoiler alert: Another life, audio book_

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian_**  
><strong>

* * *

><p>A dry spell, Jack thought to himself, a dry spell was to blame for everything, he thought while he was watching Ianto's face form a very warm smile. It was that kind of time, just after orgasm, when even men would soften up, but this was different, this was real emotion, not just relaxation. Of course it was a real emotion; Ianto was a real man, not some random stranger that put on a show for him. Jack most definitely needed to go back to good looking strangers with a good show. He neglected beautiful strangers for far too long. That was the only reason for that feeling to overtake him when Ianto gave him that smile. In fact he would go out tonight, find somebody, erase that need, the need to wrap himself around Ianto and just stay there until he absorbed all the atoms of that warmth. He didn't give in to that need; it was far too dangerous to go after those kinds of emotions.<p>

It was real emotion on Ianto's face, but it was just a passing emotion, nothing really deep. It was something that withered in the daily sun. Jack had chased enough short lived flames to know where the chase ended. It ended in bitter and stoned expressions of deception and betrayal. Even the faces of his children, their baby faces that showed pure and deep love; turned away from him, following their mother away from him and his decisions, his way of viewing the world. But he couldn't linger on that too long, it wasn't their fault they couldn't see the future that he had seen.

Instead of going out in search of the flesh that would burn his fingers, that would need so much more, he climbed up on the roof. He loved standing on the roofs of tall buildings. They stood in their pursuit of the sky, reminding him that he would get out there someday, but that didn't comfort him, not anymore, because even there he would still be different, maybe even more so. It was the cold air that soothed him. The cold wind would embrace him and he would feel like he was one with the world. It would remind him that perspective is there to see, the big picture, even if people don't lift their heads and just look at it. But he could almost see the pattern that moved the world forward; that need for life, for expansion, that search for right way between terror and pure hell of compliance.

When his skin was cooled down by pure air, Jack took a deep breath and reconsidered his mixed emotions. He was used to his own turbulences but exercising detachment he managed to get this far without sitting and just staring at the wall while time passed him by. He tried that once, it was no fun at all.

Apparently Ianto did something to him, moved his established emotions from their patterns. Not in a bad way, but it was disturbing. Like tonight, if he hadn't stepped in he would have probably gotten too entangled in Gwen's story, and then he would have to back out and return to Owen's issue. That would surely lead to answering that disturbing question that always followed him.

"Do you always know best, Jack?"

This way he ended up on the roof thinking of his sex life. Of course he didn't know best, he just went with the flow and by feeling. He sure hoped that his hunches and perspective were worth something, but how could you know for sure. Like Ianto and Gwen, there was a time he could go both ways; before their trip to the country, when Owen cut in, there was an opening. But there was a nagging feeling that anything with Gwen would end up in tantrum and tears, a lot worse than the show she put on last night. When Ianto opened the door there wasn't that feeling, no sign of danger. It was just that simple invitation with no strings attached. Ianto had proven to live up to that invitation, but still. Every now and then Jack could feel that door, a door to deeper layers of Ianto. Jack has seen up close just how deep Ianto could feel, and how far he would go. That glimpse did wake up Jack's inner shark that wanted to pull apart that door and devour every last thing that he found there. The thing that always stops him, and makes him to let go of the boy, wasn't the fact that he would be trapped there in search of more, and there can't be enough for him, not for him. But for realization that Ianto wouldn't be able to defend himself, he just doesn't have that in him. He didn't possess that necessary dose of cold detachment, the one thing that could keep Jack at bay.

Even Gwen possessed that cool wall inside her that she could bring up and do what she believed was right. Like that time she pressed the button and watched him drown. He wasn't in control at that time but he still remembered the look in her eyes. She was very much like him; she could gather herself up and do what was needed in spite of what she felt. Because of that he trusted her even more; he knew she would stop him if he became a monster. Tosh and Owen had that too, Tosh would cry all the way but she would press the button, the trigger, whatever it took.

Ianto was different. He had gone through his share of grief and loss, but unlike rest of them, he hadn't hardened from it. He softened up. When he cried after Lisa in the basement, it was too much for Jack to bear. He couldn't look at that bare emotion, that raw pain that wasn't filtered through any kind of rationalization. He fought till the end, refusing to accept his own defeat. But when it came he didn't deny it, or try to diminish it, he let it wash over him and he swallowed it whole. No one was more surprised than Jack when he got through it alive. Jack had to admire that. Ianto seemed to know how to steer through pain and hurt and even Jack seemed to serve like some form of coping mechanism, but he knew his usefulness would expire soon. When that came he would let go without regret because that boy deserved to live and love. If anyone did, Ianto did.


	52. Missed calls

_A/N: Hi. This chapter switches between Jack and Ianto._

_Spoiler alert: audio book Hidden_

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian_

* * *

><p>Hanging from the edge of the cliff was a mind altering experience for Ianto. Suddenly he was grateful for his co-workers, and for Jack. He was grateful for Jack before, but he never before experienced the fear of losing him, he just didn't have the feeling that Jack could die on him like Lisa did. Jack had that life-force energy, and around him death seemed like a distant worry.<p>

Now Jack was sitting on the edge of his hospital bed and he could still feel the warmth of Jack's kiss on his forehead, he could enjoy Owen's report of his condition without a shred of regret. Yeah, his ribs were broken again, it hurt but it was a familiar feeling and it wasn't followed by powerless grief and loss. Jack was there, he could feel his thigh through the hospital blanket, and his fingers were just an inch away from Jack's. He didn't reach out, it would be spotted, but he didn't linger on that, he was too busy smiling. That was nice feeling, he almost forgot how to smile.

Gwen was chatting something about food, Tosh gave him a report on how it all went down after he got lost to a hospital. Ianto found their voices soothing, but he waited for those short remarks that Jack gave, he waited to hear the tremor of his voice just to enjoy the sensation.

* * *

><p>It had been a busy day for Jack.<p>

He was burned in a car crash; that was probably the worst way to die. Jack tried quite a few ways of dying so he was able rank ways to die. Maybe he could write a book about it, surely people would be interested, that way they could prepare. But they probably would think of it as a joke, or it would start some strange cult that would try to control life and death.

He'd been held up by the police without a change of clothes. They'd almost caught his reviving on tape which would have been a tricky mess to dig out of. Maybe the century did turn and he hadn't been butchered in some basement, but science did have interesting and sharp instruments and underground facilities with no cameras.

The police took his phone so his team was forced to dig out the information of his whereabouts. Luckily they didn't have to dig too deep.

He met another almost immortal and then killed him. He had no choice, the man was deranged and dangerous, and with his recourses he could do almost anything without being punished. This time it wouldn't make any different if he hadn't gotten on Jack's radar by killing one of his rare friends that knew his secret.

One of the things he didn't have time to digest was her death, she was far too young.

The whole mess got a cherry on top with Ianto dancing with death. He'd gotten aggravated just hearing the story, and Owen didn't have the courtesy to start with "Ianto is fine".

Jack felt temporarily relieved as he watched Ianto's pale but alive skin under the fluorescent hospital light. Everyone was still here.

When he got out in the hospital corridor he let the rest of them go ahead. He intended to throw one more look at Ianto to make sure he was alive, but he checked his phone before, to give the rest of them time to reach the turn on the corridor. His phone record was full. Ianto's number, which he knew by heart, was repeated over and over. They probably assigned him that task, to reach him when he got off the radar, but still. If it was just a task it would be enough to call his number every half an hour, even every ten minutes would be understandable. The calls came in without pause, one after another. That was the behavior of an anxious person, of someone that fell into panic. Ianto was really scared for him. Jack closed his phone and went after the others.

Jack knew how to recognize an exit sign when it came along. A connection was started to form between him and Ianto, he could feel it for some time now, but it was delusional to think that it could lead to anything good. Lisa, guilt, secrets, immortality, it was enough to make anyone insane.

* * *

><p>Ianto got back to work as fast as possible. Lying around just wasn't his thing. He still could feel the pain, but that was something he knew how to deal with.<p>

Jack, on the other hand, was something different. It seemed like the older man avoided any kind of contact with him. He knew sex was not an option, but there were other ways of reaching out, a glance, touch, pat on the back, sitting near, brushing sideways in passing. Usually Jack was a master of that, but now it seemed like he was constantly looking around Ianto, sitting at the far end, passing on the opposite side. That made Ianto sad.

* * *

><p>Jack watched Ianto move around from his office. The young man moved around like he hadn't just cracked his ribs. He moved like he wasn't in pain, and like his every move didn't ache. Jack wrapped his hands around himself to restrain them. Ianto's fluid moves gave Jack perspective on where and how the boy learned to steer his way through the pain.<p>

Jack turned away from the window. There must be work to be done.

* * *

><p><em>Sorry guys but I have to descend towards End of days.<em>


	53. Fitting in

_Spoiler: references of audio book Slow decay, episode Captain Jack Harkness_

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian_

* * *

><p>Tosh was light headed the next few days. It wasn't justified really, but she couldn't help it. She smiled a lot. Part of it was the fact that she would see her family. She didn't have the chance to be with them often. Since Jack saved her from prison she had work to do, a responsibility to redeem her freedom. But it wasn't the only thing that kept her in the Hub at all waking hours. It was a sense of pride and competence, a sense of her own ability to do almost the impossible. It was like her life before her mother's abduction had been a waste of talent. It was horrifying thing to think, but she couldn't deny the truth. Jack could see her brilliance and he gave her a problem that could bring that kind of brilliance out of her. Before she was wasted on frivolous tasks, her potential was hidden by her race and gender. After she discovered herself, she felt obligated to do more, to even do things that others didn't think of. She knew those kind of things would come in handy one day.<p>

She rarely indulged herself, or sought out company, so a reunion with her family was like treat for her. They didn't know the extent or content of her job, they just thought she worked in a lab melting components and testing products. It seemed important enough to them, and they still thought of her as the girl they brought up. It was a nice and comforting feeling. It gave her that needed sense of connection.

All said it was nice and true, but there was one more reason for her good humour. It was embarrassing really, but she was always true to her feelings. Gwen and Owen were most definitely over with their messing around. That gave her space to breathe and she didn't have to look out for their whereabouts, to be careful not to stumble upon them. She didn't have the confidence in those two to behave, to be aware of their surroundings, especially after she heard their thoughts. It wasn't just jealousy, really, she felt excluded and alone in the working area. When Owen messed around with Suzie the feeling had been different. Suzie was such a closed up person that she barely noticed their arrangement and she could count on Jack. Now Jack seemed distracted.

That's why she was surprised when Jack took just her to examine the Rift activity. Was he aware of her thoughts? It wouldn't be strange, but she didn't give in that easily to his new attitude. She was annoyed with his secrets; it was like he didn't trust them. She loved him, she really did, and he was the man that saved her life. She owed him so much. But watching him over the years and trying to figure him out drove her insane. Sure, it was fun in the beginning, but the only thing she learned was his taste in bed, and that didn't tell her anything. All her computer skills were useless; it was like he didn't exist. How had he achieved that? No one was that good at hiding their tracks, there would be too much information to delete. There would be always some small detail that would be overlooked. Some old grade school friend that would reminisce about you on his blog, an old lover that would post a picture of you on their wall, a birth certificate lost in some obscure file when you applied for a job. It was like Jack hadn't worked anywhere else other than Torchwood, but how does one get so skilled to work here? You had to get your knowledge somewhere, you had to grow up somewhere, go to kindergarten.

Maybe all that wouldn't bother her so much if she had an insight to his inner life, if she understood his feelings, but he was closed up like there was a wall around him. Sometimes she would get a sense of his feelings, his smile would drop, but it wouldn't be something she could understand. It seemed like his emotions ran to deep to show. Sometimes he seemed like a child, so playful and innocent, but then she would remember his ruthlessness, his anger, and lack of mercy

She couldn't comprehend the depth of his hatred towards some things. Where had he gotten to be so involved with the Cybermen that he was willing to shoot an innocent and caring person like Ianto, person that Jack fancied. Tosh was sure of that; you couldn't simulate that kind of fascination. Nor could she understand how he could turn his back on people without a shred of regret or hesitation. That Mark person, Owen was quite distressed over, even thou he didn't show it, but Jack, Jack turned around and didn't look back; or how he could be so cold with those people that ate themselves because of that alien? Owen almost flipped out that day; she was surprised that he carried on, that he managed to smile after awhile. Jack acted like it was everyday thing to be consumed by an octopus shaped transmuting alien.

A whole lot of things seemed routine to Jack. Even 1941 seemed like long lost friend. Jack smiled like a child fascinated and happy when he realized where he was. His outfit didn't seemed odd one bit; in fact, it was the place that his clothes belonged to, from his suspenders, trousers, even shirts, not to mention his coat. Nobody gave him a second glance. Owen would have stuck out in this crowd like a clown, and even Ianto wouldn't go by unnoticed in his modern cut suit. Jack moved around relaxed, like he could do no wrong.

She confronted him and he admitted that he had been here before; being here made it easier for her to believe that. Time travel surely existed; it wasn't just a theory, not to her, not anymore. She thought that it was enough, that she was safe, she knew something more about Jack, but then they met the other Captain Jack Harkness. Of course she stumbled upon him in her research, and she had considered that he was their boss, it was possible, after all she did spend one day a year with Tommy, who was from an earlier time than this. If she would go out and look out for him he would be older now, would he remember her? Had he made it or would his time come in the future?

She stopped herself; it wasn't something that would happen anyway, not for her. She got back to chasing after Jack, determined to get the truth out of him, she was fed up with dancing around him. The only thing she found out was that she didn't even know his name. There was something about that, some hidden pain so she didn't push it. Maybe she really didn't want to know who he was before. She had a past too and it was obvious that he kept his new name for a reason.

The thing that she did get was an insight into Jack's real emotions, and they were emotions that she could understand. The love for the man he just met, the sadness toward his inevitable destiny, the future that was their past, the burden he carried around, the burden of other people's faith, like he was responsible for their beliefs. That burden she could comprehend, she carried one of those, the burden of her family, her attempt to keep them safe, to keep them away from the pain and the basement of emotionless entities. She focused on her task of getting them out of there, to her space and time, but when she was done all that was left was to hold Jack's hand and listen. He was so sad and powerless and for the first time she could sense what kept Jack going, what made him so determined. If there was anything he could do to prevent loss and death, he would do it, because when he was faced with inevitable death and destruction his sadness became too deep to bear.

Her heart ached while she watched them dance; two Jacks divided by time, but it was time to go, to get back to their time, their responsibilities, things they could change, a future they didn't know.

Afterward she comfort Jack in the way she could, and she kept her eye on him, but he just wasn't willing to let her in, not really.


	54. See through

_Hi, this one chapter took me little longer. Hope you enjoy it. Let me know what do you think of it. Thnx to new alert members, glad you like it._

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian (thnx)_

_Spoiler alert: Captain Jack Harkness_

* * *

><p>Ianto's ribs had healed, but Jack didn't change his behavior. Ianto wasn't really bothered by that, it was just that he had so many things on his mind, things that involved Jack. But he'd have to get over it; it wasn't like he really cared for the man. He'd gotten into it just because of the pain, to stop thinking of Lisa. It worked; it worked so well that he thought about Jack even now when it was clearly over. He wasn't the one to be petty, so he continued to care for Jack's needs without sign of his inner thoughts. It wasn't weird, it wasn't like they talked a lot, their routine was more action than talk, and he still had some kind of contact with the man. Jack drank his coffee, and Ianto took care of his coat and clothes. It wasn't much, but it was some kind of human contact that confirmed that Jack was ok, that he was not dead, or hurt. It was much better than with Lisa, not that he felt anything for Jack. It was just an attraction, nothing more. It's not like he thought it would last. In fact he didn't think about it a lot, maybe at all, so he wouldn't start now.<p>

For a distraction he concentrated on his clothes, it wasn't a Jack related topic. He recently discovered that a waist coat soothed his reflection in the mirror, and that three-pieced suit made him feel more composed, almost protected, it was like modern armor. It deflected all sign of emotion. He was satisfied with that. Jack's unconscious looks up and down helped with that feeling, not that he would ever show it. When you were on the losing side it's best to look good at it. There's no point in letting the winning side feel good and victorious on your account.

He thought that he composed himself in a well trained blankness, but that was shattered when he saw Jack in that photo from 1941. He looked so lost and confused that he was tempted to follow Owen into his madness, and bring him back at any price, but he knew better than that. Jack wouldn't appreciate the cost of his return. Ianto knew, better than anyone, that Jack would rather die a horrible death then put the world at risk. Ianto had risked the world once for love; he sure isn't going to do that again for some sentiment he had for the man. He wouldn't disappoint Jack once again, the world was more important than his small wishes.

He argued with Owen, but they both knew he didn't have any power over him. The only thing he could hope was that Owen wouldn't find anything. Owen was obnoxious at his best times, now he was just hurtful. Ianto's attempts to connect with him were deflected by smirking and diminishing comments. Like usual, Owen was the center of the universe and no one's pain could compare to his own. He felt love and nothing else mattered.

When Owen found the blueprints he was terrified with the chaos and destruction he could imagine. Small things that came through the Rift were scary enough, something massive sounded much worse. He couldn't bare his own powerlessness, so he grabbed Owen when he tried to pass by him. It was instinctive reaction, but he could take down the little doctor. Of course Owen played dirty like he always did and he hit Ianto in his barely healed ribs with his elbow. As if that wasn't painful enough, he hit him again with his foot while he was on the floor. That kept him down for few moments, but it was enough for Owen to go on with his mad plan.

Ianto got up and took out a gun. He was right, Owen was clouded by his deluded hope that the Rift would give Diane back to him. He was unable to accept that she left of her own will, not like Lisa. This was clearly the ultimate trap. Scraped figures made that crystal clear. Anonymous tips, Bilis that walked through time like it was illusion, the conveniently placed missing piece of their Rift manipulator. It was all too well manipulated to be coincidence and that kind of effort rarely meant something good.

Ianto tried to reason with the doctor one last time.

"You have to let Diane go, like I did with Lisa!"

His attempt was welcomed with loathing.

"Don't compare yourself to me; you're just a Tea boy!" Owen used his mocking one more time, this time without humor.

"I'm much more than that. Jack needs me." Ianto defended himself with all his dignity.

"In your dreams Ianto" Owen's voice was filled with scorn. "Your sad wet dreams when it was part time shag maybe." Ianto's eyes darkened with rage as he stepped forward and triggered his gun. "That Rift took my lover and my captain, so if I die trying to beat it, then it will all be in the line of duty."

Ianto didn't listen anymore, his body stiffened, one with the gun, waiting for the moment, a moment with no return. Of course Owen didn't back down, not for him, he had to shoot, but he didn't have to shoot to kill. He aimed for his shoulder, it was the place with no vital organs, and it should disable his arm in which he held the missing part. Ianto didn't lose his focus after the shot, but there wasn't anything more he could do. Owen put his plan in motion despite the pain. Shooting him again would be pointless. It also seemed that his fears and efforts were pointless. Monitors showed no sign of terrors and horrors. Jack and Tosh came back, but it was an anticlimactic moment. Owen was gloating, and Jack looked like he'd just seen a ghost.

In the next few days it seemed like Jack hadn't come back at all. He was moody and absent, and Ianto could have been made of glass, Jack just looked right through him. Ianto started to wonder why he even bothered with that man at all. It didn't bring him anything but mocking. Owen's three words followed him around. Part-time-shag.


	55. Original

_Ok, here it is, new chapter, bit longer than the rest, but I couldn't divide it._

_**Spoiler alert**: Captain Jack Harkness_

_Thnx to my new beta here it is improved. I do hope you'll enjoy this little twist in perspective._

_Beta-ed: TattooedLibrarian_**  
><strong>

* * *

><p>Captain Jack Harkness was on the watch. He was always on the watch, looking around for sign of trouble. This time he looked after his men. They had an evening out, but he didn't have that. It was his duty to keep them in line. The training is coming to the end and he was worried that he didn't do enough for them. He was their captain and they admired him like he was invincible. He knew better, but times of war required heroes, and he seemed to fit into that description. No one was more surprised than him. He was a withdrawn man; he always kept most of his thoughts and emotions to himself. The war didn't last that long, but it seemed like eternity. His job and personality from before war time was forgotten, it seemed like distant memory, like that was someone else entirely. He got used to responsibility and tasks, even the danger, but adoration was something else. Enthusiasm of his men made him uneasy; he wasn't used to that kind of emotions directed towards him. He felt shame under their big eyes that haven't seen the war and death, but he withstands it because he was their captain, and they needed from him that kind of greatness. Women looked at him with other kind of adoration; they thought that his silence was a sign of strength and character, not the disturbing lack of emotions for them. He dedicated his time and energy to his men, to keep them safe, and help them to get out of this alive.<p>

Captain Jack didn't expect much of this evening; he just waited for the night to be over. Tomorrow they had work to do. He had already tossed and turned tomorrow's exercise in his head. It was one of their last trainings and he wanted to teach his men as much as possible. Then George, that rush boy, got into a fight over a girl and he had to step in before he got beaten up by bigger man. He just didn't know to pick his fights, but he was damn good pilot.

"Apologize to the gentleman George" he said turning and found himself facing a handsome stranger.

He also asked him to apologize to the Asian lady because he was trying to teach the young boy something. 133 Squadron apparently meant something to Captain James Harper, but he held his hand for so long that he didn't really care what; he just had no desire to ruin the mood for some inquiries about war time. They all got their portion of the grief. He wanted to be around Captain James some more just to feel his presence and hear that laughter that he released when they spoke simultaneously. They didn't break contact until that Bilis character came between them. He shook his hand again when he found out his name, and again contact wasn't stopped until he stepped towards bar. That was mistake because he slipped away with his Asian companion. Of course they were in the middle of something; he just got hit because of her.

But he did come back and stood beside him, it was so natural that he didn't even noticed him there. That was strange because most men made him uncomfortable. George took charge over conversation, but that was alright, he could control himself and observe the man closely without needing to hide. Captain James seemed serious and his few words discovered that he had seen death. Confidence like George possessed came from lack experience; he didn't know what the reality of war looks like. There is no glory in death. He felt more than uncomfortable when he spoke about his spotless record in front of him. It was one thing to be a caricature of a hero in front of his men, he needed their trust to teach them, it was something else to pretend like that in front of another Captain who fought and lost like he did. In an instant he remembered of the screams and the horror of the war so he got up to get a drink. Captain James drank only water, which was strange, how did he go through it all sober.

As he gets to the bar, the girl to whom he's been nice to approached him. Nancy was pleasant last few days but then it became clear she has started to expect something of him. His kindness was mistaken for chivalry. He concentrated on James determined to get as much as he can from this encounter. But he asked the wrong question and he once again faced the wall of reservations. Nancy, in her edgy mood, took it like a queue to go. He wasn't sorry about that, but then James pleaded him with such passion to kiss her. His emotions filled him with desire. He couldn't argue with that so he drank up his drink and placed soft kiss on her coloured lips. After he helped her in her coat she said the one thing he was trying to avoid. She began to think she loves him. That just made him mad. All that effort gone to waste, she will expect something of him now, at least letters filled with lies.

He was just wasting his time on the Captain, he didn't understand anything. He wasn't going to waste any more time on him ,however, Captain Harper followed him downstairs trying to defend himself. Somehow they ended up talking about risks of war, and the duties of a Captain, before he knew it he was sharing his most dreadful moment in life, the thing that made him wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. The other Captain didn't even blink; he gave him in return an even more horrifying story about torture and death. How that man could hold so much in and then show all that emotions with such ease, like it was normal to carry your feelings on your sleeve. All men around him hid their emotions, and so did he, it was the norm for male behaviour; to see raw emotion like pain, hurt, anger and compassion on someone's face was just overwhelming; then came the moment of open staring into those blue eyes and he had to flee before he did something unforgivable. It seemed for the second that the other man would make some move to fight there and then, in the middle of the staircase, like it was something normal, something accepted. He kept his distance, but he couldn't stop staring in the other man, especially since that Asian girl came into sight again. He couldn't determine nature of their relation. They spoke in confidence, and he touched her like it was normal, common, like they know each other very well, but then in the basement he didn't follow her, he stood alone, like solitude was common thing in such crowd.

He couldn't resist and sustain such distance, he was drawn near even thou he wasn't invited. He approached him.

"Of course I'm scared" Jack said to James and he looked back investigating his face. Nothing more was spoken, but it was like everything was known. They stood across each other in silence; he didn't dare to look to long in his face. He declined George's offer for a drink and they sat divided by table looking at the dance floor. Silence continued. Finally he broke the silence asking the thing that bothered him. The feeling was there, it felt like desire, and it seemed like other man feels it too, but why did he make him kiss Nancy goodbye. He hoped that his answer will give him a sign, confirmation. But his answer took away any hope; he felt such sadness and solitude. That was his shield, it seemed like it followed him everywhere he went. The glitch glitch of passion was drowned in separation when James told him to go to Nancy. He asked if Toshiko his woman, is he this way because of her? Her name sounded strange in his mouth, but the answer was no and that answer opened up an abyss of abandonment and despair on other man's face. How can someone so beautiful be so alone? He couldn't understand, but he couldn't stand his open stare and bare emotion in it so he got up; not to go to her, just to make distance, to clear his head of all the disappointment

Outside on the street he inhaled cold air and lit a cigarette, but the burning in his chest didn't go away. He will never see this man again. Not that he thinks he will die tomorrow, but the world and war are so vast and unkind, it wasn't likely that he would be thrown in his way again. He couldn't be so wrong about him; even if he turned him down he wasn't one to be appalled; he'll understand. With that thought he searches the hall for him and he found him alone on the sofa. He felt confident all of a sudden, it was a good decision to go back. He sat beside him and just goes for it. Joy overwhelmed him when he accepted his approach like it was something natural, he hoped he would. He got so entangled in that emotion that he grabbed his hand right there in plain sight. They stood up when the couple interrupted them. The way that woman said 'lover's corner' embarrassed him. He got scared, he wasn't himself around Captain Harper, and it was like he was willing to kiss him right there where anyone could stumble upon them. He was never that careless. He'd have to restrain himself, he's done it before and it was for the best to keep his distance from other Captain and his emotions. After all, he was there for his men; they needed him to keep his cool, not to be dragged into emotions that could destroy everything he had achieved so far.

He was determined and he engaged in conversations, roaming the room observing his men, receiving pats on his back and smiling while others laughed. He couldn't help himself but to throw looks in James way. It was obvious now that Toshiko wasn't his woman, she was just someone close enough to touch, but not to desire. It was clear to him that the sadness was taking over the Captain and he could feel it across the hall. Worse than the sense of compassion was a passion that didn't decrease in strength over him. In fact it had just gotten worse when a sad song began and every conversation stopped for awhile. Aching in his chest grew stronger, and he felt his breath shorten as the feeling washed over him taking control of his entire body. He couldn't breathe anymore, he felt like drowning. He felt like he would die just standing there leaning against the wall. Lack of human touch that had never bothered him became unbearable. What if he would die tomorrow, or if that beautiful, sad and lonely man died tonight? What would he regret if that happened? He would regret his own actions of being a coward when facing that kind of beauty. They called him a hero for no reason at all.

He lifted his gaze and looked at the other Captain. His sadness overpowered him and he bowed his head, eyes filled with tears. Just a half an hour ago those same eyes sparkled looking at him but he washed that away. Then Toshiko took his hands in futile attempt to comfort his sadness. That emptied his head of thoughts and his heart of fears. What did his existence mean if he couldn't bring comfort to such man? He crossed the floor, light on his feet and grabbed that hand without hesitation. He pulled James up and looking only at him lead him to the dance floor. He felt like crying, he felt exposed, but he didn't have eyes for anyone around them. James held him tight like he could protect him from the storm that was coming. James's face was pressed against his cheek and it was enough of the touch he was hungry for. James pulled him even closer like they could press into one. His lungs opened up and he could breathe once again. He looked at the ceiling trying to imprint this feeling in his memory. Then James pulled away and looked him like he was going to kiss him in the middle of everything, and he knew he would lean into it no matter what, but then that strange light broke through and it was like they were alone. That woman shouted for James or it was for him, she said Jack; maybe he was called that too.

"I have to go" said James, "it's my duty." Jack nodded but he couldn't speak. James turned away leaving him there alone, but then he stepped back and kissed him. Jack melted into that kiss; he trembled under James's hand. When James broke their kiss he could barely stand. He composed himself as best as he could and saluted him as he disappeared into thin air.

When they were gone there was a silence and for a brief moment he was alone in the world, the hall was empty. He thought he was lost for his time, but it was fine, his sadness was there unmasked. Then the music came back, then the voices, finally he was surrounded by the familiar crowd. He closed his eyes for a moment collecting his memory before an angry crowd falls upon him but nothing happened. He opened his eyes and looked around. It was like nothing had happened at all. Only George was looking at him like he's trying to remember something. He gave him his crooked smile and George smiled back little uncertain. Jack removed himself from the dance floor that was filled with couples that were smiling and talking.

Jack went outside to finally finish that smoke in the cold night breeze. He didn't ask anybody of his Captain, did they remember him? He didn't want to find out that he was just a phantasmal of his mind. His touch, smell was still on his skin, he could still feel his breath and grip, his body length pressed against his body. It was all so real, he couldn't doubt that. Now that he's vanished into thin air it all made more sense, not less; his talk, expressions, understanding, mostly his emotions that was so unfit for this era of fear and uncertainty. He was from different place than this one. Maybe it was this place and this war that made him so sad.

Jack went to his men. Tomorrow is their last day of exercise and he has to give them all he has before they go off to war. That was his duty.

The sky was clear and they strode through the air like it was their playground. There was laughter and talk on the radio like they are going off to adventure with no real danger. Maybe James was right, maybe he was shielding them too much.

Then came the Messerschmitt, the sky was full of them, and the team went into a panic. Jack went into his fighting mode and with few short and stern commands, brought them to order. He didn't count the enemy, he just charged at them determined to keep his men safe. They did the best they could, but without real battle experience they hesitated and he had to double his efforts. The last plane went after George and Tim, they couldn't shake him down. He went up and around to face enemy plane. He isn't going to let them butcher the boys, not today. He waited until his nerves started to scream, and then fired. When his shots hit the plane he whooped of joy and relief, but just a moment after, his rival, in his last moment shot him back. He felt the pain and burning of the flesh when the bullets went through him. He was still conscious when his plane went down but he held his mouth tightly closed. He isn't going to leave his men with his screams in their minds to wake them up in the middle of the night.

There wasn't anything else he could do. He couldn't eject, his arms were useless. All he could do was close his eyes. As he did so he recalled the kiss he imprinted in his mind. He smiled in spite of the pain and oncoming death. It was like James knew what was ahead today. He didn't mind death, not today, because today he had no regret. He went down like hero, true hero, because he dared to kiss him goodbye. And it was ok really, because he felt safe in James's arms, like he will remember him, like he will still exist in his mind, the real him.


	56. Duplicate

_Here it is, one more chapter. Stay with me. I just love Captain Jack Harkness episode, it was the first one I ever seen from Who universe so it's special for me, and I think it's defining for Jack._

_Thank you for new subscriptions, that's how I know you like it, but be kind and enter few words when you click on that button. On this point it would be nice to get some encouragement. This last two chapters came from pure excitment about my new beta's and pm's. So thank you._

_Beta-ed: TattooedLibrarian  
><em>

**Spoiler alert**: Captain Jack Harkness, Empty Child

* * *

><p>Jack was so amused when he entered 1941. It was so familiar and he thought he would never see it again. He was long past the time when he was upset about changing the place and time in an instant. He left that emotion at the time academy. They trained that out of them. Maybe it was some necessary condition for Time Agents to be thrilled with the change and the challenge. It was fun and almost safe experience for him. The place didn't change, and he'd been there before, he knew the rules, and he did have fun in this era, twice. He had to recollect where exactly the other two of his younger selves were. The dangerous rogue that hasn't yet met the Doctor roamed the London streets. That brought smile on his face, man was that younger him careless. He was stranded here by accident following the freighter, but he wasn't the one to miss out the fun. The Torchwood field agent was snooping around, but he hadn't been in this place before, of that he was sure. He'd be safe from him inside.<p>

He wasn't worried about returning, if nothing he could walk back. It would be a drag to avoid himself all the time, and to do it all again a bit differently, but he could do that. Tosh on the other hand didn't have that luxury. If he stayed would he dare to go see the Doctor? He didn't first time around, so he knew he couldn't resist.

It was beautiful to see all the people dancing and talking, dresses, uniforms and the smoke. Smell of fear, adrenalin and life was all around. He felt young and careless, playful. Then he turned around and smiled. Really it was nice smile, and he was hot and tall, dark and shy, all he liked in a man. Then he said his name and all the fun was drained out of him.

"Captain Jack Harkness" he said and all went to silence. He couldn't take his eyes of him, the real him, the ghost he was always trying to be.

He tried to get away from Jack but he followed him like he knew he stole him away. He was off balance with Jack because he wasn't Jack Harkness anymore, not for him; he could never act like himself in front of him. 'James Harper' was the first surrogate name that occurred to him, and it was so strange to carry it. Maybe it was even worse that he was instantly attracted to the man, even before he knew his name. It was so ironic that real Jack was off grid man too. He could read his desires so easily, but it wasn't easy to pick up the original version of himself. Maybe it was best to keep the distance but he couldn't do that, not really. He was drawn to the man, fascinated by his moves and expressions. He really was a full flesh and blood hero, humble and unwilling to admit his actions. The thing that moved false Jack's soul was his melancholy. He could drown in that feeling, play it like instrument until it gets into laughter that was locked away in there somewhere, but he can't. Can he? Real Jack said that tomorrow is the last day of training, which makes it the day he dies, and day after that the new Jack emerges in London to enjoy sights of the city and to try out new bodies and places. Now he knows the real Jack would never do that.

How vain he had been to choose his identity; to play the hero when all he was was a conman. He choose this identity with such care, they trained him that it was crucial to fit in new environment, to avoid all sorts of trouble. The best way to avoid unnecessary problems was to take an identity that was highly valued in that time and space, but not too high. Too high could bring all sorts identifications and obligations. In this time and space being captain who was also a war hero, not big hero, just a small one, was a ticket to any bar, party or club. At the same time it didn't include big decision making, and he wasn't required to be at some crucial spots, big people of this time didn't know faces of their captains. Their faces were important only to their men. So it was convenient to be injured war hero captain on leave. Nobody would question that cover, or felt the need to check his background, that would just be rude. And his charming behaviour was welcomed with much more sympathy then it would have if he had played a regular soldier, which anyone would felt obligated to ask where he should be and report him, or if he was brigadier of whom it would be expected to behave.

When he determined that he went in search for right kind of captain, someone whose face wouldn't be well known at the town, and who is conveniently dead so their paths wouldn't cross. When he found captain Jack Harkness he virtually fell in love. He was kind of man that he had wanted to be if his life didn't toss him around. Reading how his men spoke of him was so surreal, he wanted for someone to think of him like that. He knew it was impossible, with his current path of a conman and rogue. Nothing of the once great Time Agent with a future was left. The Agency was disappointed in him, and he was disillusioned about life and justice. But if he couldn't be such hero, he could took a role of one and see how it feels.

He jumped in right after the captain's unseen burning departure at sea and reported himself in London. Far enough so that files wouldn't be updated and he could go unnoticed. It gave him enough time to acclimate himself to the new environment and to have fun so he could be in a good position before Time Agents that were chasing him caught up. He parked his ship in a place easy to remember and out of the way oncoming bombs.

He enjoyed that identity so much that he couldn't give it up afterwards. The respect and affection that came with it was all so soothing. Another thing was that the Doctor knew him by that name, and for the Doctor he really was that man, a man who cared, who fought, and who sacrificed himself for others. He wasn't sure he would have done all that under different name, so he carried on in all sorts of places where captains were and valued, even where there weren't any captains or armies. He wasn't really bothered by not fitting in, not anymore, he wanted to be spotted, to be found, and rescued from his persistent surviving.

Tosh was her brilliant self and she found a way to solve their problem. She didn't need him as usual and that left him at real captain's disposal. The real Captain didn't have intention to give up on him so easily. Under those careful manners was determination and focus that made him a hero of the sky. On his second time around as Captain Jack Harkness, he did fly a plane and engage in this war. Of course he waited for the real Captain to make his rounds before he stepped in. It wasn't easy task to do, but after that he felt more like captain he was posing to be.

Captain Jack bit his lip hiding some losses and defeats in front of his men, visibly suffering while George praised him. He even got up to get away from it. False Jack recognised the guilt; it came often in his direction.

When that blonde woman, Nancy, stepped in he felt such fondness for her. She was so timid and scared, so worried for Jack. He felt warm just watching her as her warmth was moving. She obviously had feelings for Jack, real feelings, false Jack knew how to recognise those too; they rarely came his way. It was really disappointing when Jack let her go without even kiss goodbye. It was just cruel to let her go like that. He had to tell him to go for it, to at least kiss the girl before he died. How unexpectedly silly people were; Jack got angry because she fell for him. Like that wasn't obvious turn of events. Women didn't know how to take someone's attention without turning it into love affair.

This time he chased after real Jack, he forced him to open up. Of course there was pain barely hidden by that melancholy. Real Jack wanted to hit him with his pain, but that was nothing compaired to the sea of pain false Jack carried around. As a response to the pain from Jack emerged his old pain that never loosen its grip on him. Emerak, his best friend whom he persuaded to go off to war with him and who died because of that, he never stopped haunting. During his guilt powered search for Gray he had been side tracked so many times and there was so much other guilt sometimes he couldn't find Gray in there. So many loses. And now Captain Jack Harkness would be among them, he would have face, and would be missed.

"He hadn't lived." Said false Jack about Emerak, the one thing he could never accept.

"Have any of us?" Answered Jack about himself and false Jack stepped forward without thinking, he was drawn by his open eyes and lips, his pleading look, but Jack turned away and went downstairs. This time he let him go. He couldn't forget when he was. Two men kissing on the stairs wasn't common sight, far from that. He forgot how uncomfortable the 21st century was. Luxuries of the 51st century were like a far dream he dreamt once upon a time.

Of course real Jack found him again in the cellar like heat navigated rocket would. He was ready to give in, but false Jack kept his distance, he couldn't risk his trained moves to not get him and Toshiko in trouble, and real Jack with his wounded heart was too close to Jack's hidden heart that couldn't bear another loss. He had gotten so good at keeping balanced distance from those around him; he danced around so he could get that necessary closeness of other beings, but not to entangle himself too deep. He had trouble in mourning; it was like his sorrows multiplied themselves in time instead of decreasing. But trouble with real Jack was that he was already inside his shield, in fact he was that shield.

He sat across the table from him looking at the singer when real Jack started his inquiry, trying to scope out some hope, and Jack, false and wrong Jack almost gave him something. But he couldn't. The Bare naked hope in Jack's face, Jack that is going to die tomorrow, so he sends him to the one that loves him. Whatever his mind thinks about likes and dislikes, that woman loved him, and love was so rare and beautiful that it shouldn't be denied.

Jack would search for it if he thought could offer anything in return, anything other than constant disappointment. But as it was, there was no one for him. It was emptiness that his shield hid. He sought out a place to be alone and find his calmness again but Jack found him once again. He tried to be honest with him, but when Jack grabbed hold of his hand he was overwhelmed by emotions. This man, real Jack Harkness, was made to be loved and nothing less could be given to him. False Jack had no choice about that, just like Nancy hadn't.

When real Jack withdrew, faced with the world, false Jack was left drowned in sorrow. He just couldn't accept that such man was destined to die for no good reason and he is powerless to stop it, he stand by and watch it happen. That is what the Time Agency had given him with their device. They extrapolated him from time and gave him remote control to watch people's lives' in fast forward. It was very hard to connect to the people whose destiny you knew, whose death you saw.

Sadness for the beauty and warmth that was lit inside of Jack Harkness, the real person, that would be put out tomorrow, overpowered him. The older he got it was harder to accept all those deaths, lives that just went into darkness.

When he reached bottom of that sadness Jack came and took his hand guiding him to dance floor. He breathed in the life that was given to him and couldn't be thrown away, and he held that almost gone life to his chest. He ached for the man, for himself and all others. He couldn't protect him, but he could draw near that light that was still turned on.

Just when he pulled back to finally take kiss for which he craved all evening the crack in time was opening and he had to go, there was nothing for him here, just death and loss. Nevertheless it was so hard to let go of Jack and that aching need between them. He turned towards light of the future, but he couldn't be the man that goes like that. He knew it would hurt him inside but he had to kiss him goodbye. He took him in his arms and their hungry lips met. It was all that he needed, and all he could get. He gave into that kiss so much that he almost forgot to leave. He was shaking when he broke loose. It was like defying gravity when he turned and went away leaving him there to his destiny.

The last look at him was just too much, salute of the soldier that was going to his death. He went out and ran on the street to catch some air. There Gwen jumped on him embracing him in her arms, glad to see him. That was something, she did care for him, and other people here cared for him.

Back at the Hub there was a mess. Owen was wounded in the shoulder by none other than Ianto who tried to stop him from opening the rift. His office was turned upside down. The two men were so deep in their fight and pride that they barely welcomed them. Owen had immediately started to boss Tosh around like she hadn't just been in a heck of situation. Apparently he and Ianto had gotten into little power struggle and he had to heal his wounded ego. Gwen obviously sided to Ianto rather than Owen, that wasn't surprising considering the current state of Owen's mind. Ianto sat in his chair upright and without his coat, he was clearly distressed by whole situation but he tried to keep his dignity intact.

Jack picked it up like it was background noise, he wasn't back really. Real Jack was a long time dead but it still felt like it would happen tomorrow. He wondered how he had spent his last hours, what had he felt when he went down. After he locked his vault Jack took out small replica of the plane he flew in 1942, when he served like Captain Jack in that same war. He walked Gwen out and watched her leave for home.

Afterwards Tosh stood in his office telling him Jack would have proud that he took his name. Maybe, maybe he would, but it wasn't really comforting that he would never know for sure.


	57. Punishment

_Hi, here it is new chapter. We breached magical limit of 10 comments yey, thnx for that. Rest of you don't be shy, reviews are free :) but even if you don't speak out hope you'll enjoy anyway._

_Beta-ed: TattooedLibrarian  
><em>

**Spoiler alert: **Adrift

* * *

><p>Jack watched with concern how rift was bubbling over the next two days. He kept himself busy in his office most of the time. He couldn't bear to act like Captain Jack Harkness at the moment, just hearing his name made him uneasy. He had held to his name for so long that he forgot it belonged to someone else entirely. It wasn't easy to get back in his groove. He knew his team was looking at him with concern and that whispers were exchanged but he would deal with it later. Now He needed to sorted his memories, not just of Jack, but of everything else. It always made him deeply concerned when something would slip away from him, it was like people and places he knew were really gone. Like Jack was gone. He accepted it now. His plane went down and he didn't eject and miraculously remerge in London. That man in London was someone else, he wasn't sure who anymore. But it wouldn't help to linger on it. It was his name now, and only thing that changed was the fact he loved the man who wore it before. In time it would be a better way to remember him. Maybe even, he will be a better Captain Jack.<p>

He left the office dragging Gwen and Owen with him on the weevil hunt. Ianto was too much for the moment to handle. The distance was even greater than it had been before Cyber incident. It seemed like young man withdrew into complete blankness, it was impossible to tell what's happening inside his head. Maybe he was expecting some kind of penance for shooting a senior officer. Should he give him one? Would it be appropriate after everything between them? That was one inconvenient thing about an office affair; the lines became blurry and unsure. What was lover's rage, and what was the boss's? He wasn't even sure that Ianto had done anything wrong.

He was sure that Owen had been wrong to mess with the rift without final numbers, but he couldn't punish him properly because nothing spectacular happened. And again there was that unsure line. Was he mad at him as a boss, or because he had been forced leave Jack like that?

When they captured a few weevils he felt more like himself and was able to think clearer. He decided that in both cases he was mad as lover more than the boss. But in Owen's case boss was clearly mad too. Messing with the rift was out of bounds.

That settled that the boss isn't mad on Ianto. He did the right thing; he fought his superior to prevent disaster. He did what he had to do in that situation; to save everyone else in exchange for two lives. That was a good deal. Now Jack only had to settle down and deal with his wounded pride. He had been the one to put things with Ianto on hold. Clearly he was mistaken about young man's emotions, but it was what it was. He knew that from the start.

He would think about Owen some other day, but today he could use Ianto. His determination with Owen showed he could protect and sacrifice. That was just what they needed, and the latest events showed Jack that he could vanish, not just willingly, but unexpectedly, and some things would need supervising.

"I need your help with something Ianto" Jack said to the young man when others were gone. "There is a job I think you could handle." He continued to avoid confusion about nature of the help he was requesting. Ianto looked at him and just nodded.

They drove in silence, it wasn't comfortable like it used to be, but it was tolerable. A few more days and they would be back to their standard professional routine. Jack knew how to do that.

Jack was annoyed that Ianto didn't ask anything when they boarded on a boat. Was it possible that he knew even this secret? Ianto was investigating all of them before he came in Torchwood Three. Jack refused to watch too closely in Ianto's direction. The silent man held himself with ease on rocky boat, and didn't seem bothered that his new suit was in danger.

When they arrived on Flat Holm it was dark but Jack knew the way. Because of Ianto's silence, he just let them in without further explanation. Marianne was glad to see Jack like she always was. It wasn't easy to come here, but it was necessary. The hardest thing about this facility was to find people with selfless and big hearts that would be able to care for their residents and not to betray them to some research facility that would turned them into test bunnies.

The staff mainly came from families of the unfortunate, the ones that could stand the truth about their loved ones. Those were so few that Jack rarely sought them out, usually they would found him.

"This is Ianto Jones" He introduced Ianto to Marianne. "I hope he will be your new connection to me."

"Let's hope it will go better than the last one." Marianne smiled sadly and led the way. "I guess you want to see our residents, and reports on their progress, sadly that isn't much."

She showed them all 16 rooms and their residents describing their symptoms and recent behaviour. Ianto walked behind Jack like shadow. Only noise that he made was his pen as he wrote notes on his pad. Jack was a bit disappointed, but then again his lack of emotional reaction was good because he would be able to work with these people.

When they were on the way out Marianne gave them list of things that they needed.

"Glad to meet you Ianto" she gave him her hand and shook his "it seems like we will get along."

Ianto just nodded and they were off. When the door were closed behind them Jack opened his mouth to complain to Ianto on how he could have said a few words to the woman inside, but Ianto rushed passed him just to bend over in the grass and throw up contents of his stomach.

Jack approached him and took things from his hands and put his palm on the young man's back making circles on it.

"For fuck's sake Jack" Ianto mumbled when he got the air "you could have warned me."

"Sorry Ianto, sometimes I forget that you just look phlegmatic and I have difficulty trying to describe people inside." Jack offered Ianto half of a smile and other man nodded.

"Words wouldn't do it" he admitted it and leaned against rock wall.

"So do you think you'll be up for it?" Jack asked trying to see young man's face in the darkness.

"What choice do I have now that I've seen them?" He asked mockingly.

"Retcon" Jack said and continued when Ianto twitched at its mention "There's no shame in it, small dose would suffice, just few hours." He took bottle from his pocket.

"I see you have faith in me" Ianto snorted ironically.

"Owen took it after two days, it's easier to take it right away, if you wait too long it leaves an uncomfortable feeling that you have to justify."

"Owen saw this and chose to forget?" Ianto couldn't believe that.

"I chose for him, he didn't cope well with it." Jack confessed knowing that Ianto would know if he was lying. "The doctor in him wanted to fix everything and he got obsessive about it, but there wasn't anything he could do. He's still mad at me for that."

"But he doesn't remember" argued Ianto.

"Retcon always leaves something behind, at least awareness of missing time. Owen's mind made up for those two days believing that I retconed him to sleep with him."

"That's horrible" Ianto was uneasy with that.

"For Owen it was the best option, it's the thing he could understand, and it doesn't do any harm to his ego." Jack smiled at Ianto; he was the one to worry, even about Owen. Jack should have known that this would affect Ianto.

"What do you expect from me on this?" Ianto straighten himself up and his voice became usually flat.

"To supply them with what they need, help with organization, and there may be new victims of the Rift who will need our help."

Ianto nodded and led the way towards docks.

"Sorry about that earlier" Ianto said quietly when they reached the boat. Jack pulled him by his shoulder and gave him short hug. Ianto seemed hesitant to take it so Jack pulled away.

On their way back across dark waters Jack concentrated on steering, Ianto stayed quiet. It wasn't until they were back in the SUV that Ianto finally spoke.

"Why me? Why did you think I could handle it, that I would care? After all I look so phlegmatic." He couldn't hide trace of bitterness on the end of that sentence.

"Because of Lisa," it was hard for Jack to speak her name, both for her presence on his guilt list, and her meaning to Ianto, the way she affected him "her state wasn't all that different from the people there, except that she was dangerous to others" he had to add and Ianto didn't protest "and you cared for her, you stood by her without turning your back when she needed you."

Ianto closed his eyes and leaned his head back against his seat.

"Why didn't you just retcon me when everything was done, like you did Owen" Ianto spoke quietly "was it some kind of punishment to make me remember it all?"

Jack decided that the young man was asking him about Lisa, not their short arrangement.

"Do you want to forget her?" Jack asked carefully, he knew how it felt to lose years, it could never be replaced.

"No" Ianto lifted his head and looked at him angrily "I would never do that, but you could. I see you make those kinds of decisions daily, why not me?"

"I didn't want to take it away from you, all that love and pain, because in the end that is all that we are. Our memories of the people we loved, and the people we lost, the mistakes that we made, things we missed out; all of that is what makes us unique and alive. You wouldn't be able to shoot Owen if there wasn't Lisa, you couldn't understand what's at stake, and you wouldn't be able to say that Tosh and I are not important as countless others. That's why you're here today, because you made the right choice."

It seemed like Ianto was going to say something but he changed his mind.

Jack parked in front of Ianto's building. Ianto looked a bit surprised, but that look passed fast enough. Jack knew where Ianto lives, he knew just about everything about his team, everything minus the things that sometimes cost him punches, bruises, and few deaths.

"So I'll have report on Flat Holm tomorrow on your desk, Sir, with my suggestions. From where do we finance this, it was never shown in our accounts." Ianto fell back in his professional mode and Jack smiled.

"My personal accounts, I didn't want Torchwood One to see it."

"Of course, Sir" said Ianto with understanding, he knew Torchwood One's methods "suppose that's why funds are so limited."

"They are not limited, what do you mean?" Jack got upset.

"Conditions in which those people are kept are not acceptable, there is so much more that can be done for them." His voice took that well known preaching tone and Jack smiled fondly.

"That's why we have you now. Write report and I'll give you free hands with it."

Ianto looked at him doubtfully with his eyebrow lifted. Jack suddenly remembered what he found so attractive about this man, but Ianto broke contact.

"Right then" he said and grabbed handle on the door "if that's all Sir, see you in the morning."

"Night Ianto" said Jack and Ianto headed off.

Jack sat there a moment longer waiting for Ianto to enter his building, then he raced back to the Hub. The Rift monitor needed attention, and he didn't want to worry Tosh before he had a clue how to handle it.


	58. Sitting and watching

_Here it is my 2nd take on Flat Holm, it's not easy to try to picture it. Hope I didn't do too badly. Thnx to my beta, mistakes are my own. Enjoy!_

_Beta-ed: TattooedLibrarian  
><em>

**Spoiler alert:** Adrift

* * *

><p>Ianto walked determined and without looking back, he knew Jack was watching, but when the front door was closed behind him he crouched to the ground letting out a silent scream. After a minute he got up, but then had to sit on the lower step. He leaned his face to the cold fence and closed his eyes. There, glued to his eyelids, were the things he had seen tonight. All of those people lost and found so terribly wrong. How many of them were still out there, lost forever in some burning star or pure vacuum. He held tightly to the bars like the thin metal could hold him in this place and time. Ianto had never felt so small and utterly unprotected. He let tears slid down his face without shame. His Lisa and her pain didn't seem so big and unfair now. All those people and the people who loved them didn't deserve that either. Universe was just like that sometimes, unpredictable and without mercy. Ianto knew it was time he had gotten used to it and the best way he could do that was help the ones that had returned.<p>

That thought brought him to his feet and up the stairs to his flat. He settled onto the sofa and began to write down a list things he could do. After that, he started personal files for each resident at Flat Holm and included the notes he had taken during his visit.

Lonnie, the girl that fell through time from the early 16th century was so severely burned that only assumption was that she fell through while being burned at the stake. The poor girl was still convinced she was a witch, and that she had fallen into hell. Ianto was sure they could do something for her to convince her that she was not a witch or in hell. That she was just ill, maybe delusional and she forgot her life before.

Frank, the old man who had fallen through the Rift, and ended up in Sontar empire, caught in the middle of their war. Having lived his entire life in the war he had lost his ability to speak coherently, he just shouted 'Sontar, ha' until he fell from exhaustion. After each meal he punished himself by banging his head against the wall. Ianto thought perhaps he could be introduced to some battle games which would simulate some violence on which he got used to over years. Maybe they could establish some place where he could work out, to burn some of his extra adrenalin, that could calm him and reduce his need to smash his head and cause further pain. Keeping that kind of adrenalin drove energy locked up just made things worse.

Ianto paused in his work remembering what Jack had said about Owen and his obsession. He could understand that now, but he couldn't become useless to these people just because he couldn't fix them. He tore the sheets out of the notebook he had been working in and started again without plans of fixing everything. Instead he focused on their environment. His memory served him well as he mentally counted cracks on the walls, moisture in the air, and lack of anything bright in there. He could introduce into their space things that could remind them of home or could make them feel more at peace with their current surroundings instead of it feeling like prison. The big storage room could be converted into exercise room. He didn't expect of them to gather around and mingle, but their monitors could help them do something else than hurting.

Of course that couldn't be expected from Tanya, a woman whose insides were turned inside out, and you could see them pulsing and working. It was unclear how everything continued to function and it was all so entangled that no one dared to touch it. Upon seeing herself her mind had withdrawn into itself and she had been unresponsive since. Then there was Lynette whose whole body was covered in painful open blisters that could never be healed because the blisters were a biotrophic life form and couldn't be removed without killing Lynette.

Ianto crossed over his eyes with his palm to erase all that. He put the papers down and sat back in sofa. He'd burn out if he tried to absorb it all at once. He had to shake it from his mind but it wasn't easy. After Lisa was put into the cyber unit he had built for her from scraps and junk that was left in the ruins, he spent a whole week just sitting there and watching her. He repeated all that had happen over and over again in his mind, but he had to move and do something to save her. So he went out to look for the Torchwood agents he had avoided when he was looking for parts, now he knows he looked for Tosh and Owen, but they were already gone. They took with them crucial parts of cyber units that he needed for Lisa. That forced him to follow them in Cardiff, to retrieve things Lisa needed to recover, or at least she made him believe that. Either way, Jack said that caring for Lisa made him capable for this task. Maybe he was right. But the difference between these people and Lisa was the fact Ianto didn't love any of them, he didn't even know them. That should make it easier to help them objectively.

When Jack said Lisa's name it sounded so strange coming from his mouth. It was like two worlds were colliding. He had said it like she had been some distant relative that sadly past away from some unfortunate illness, and not shot in the chest by Jack and the rest of them. But that wasn't fair, not anymore. Ianto knew for sure Jack was sorry he was force to kill her, he had done it because there was no other way If he hadn't, Ianto knew, he would eventually stand up and pull the trigger to kill the monster that possessed his Lisa and forced her to open up heads and steal lives. How could he ever have survived that? Ianto wrapped his arms around himself and regretted for brief moment that Jack was there now to chase all these thoughts away. But that was nonsense. He couldn't invite Jack over while Lisa still was with him, not literally but her pictures, music, blankets, pillows and other things.

There were two moments of human touch that Ianto craved so much that evening. It almost brought him pain when Jack made circles with his palm on Ianto's back. And the comfort of a hug that was impossible to take without crashing into the man and showing all weakness that possessed him. Glancing at the next file Ianto justified to himself that Jacob's displaced limbs were too much to handle that night and he had done enough of that for the evening. He sorted out the papers and placed them into their respective folders.

Jack chose him for this task for a reason, that reason was his ability to withstand pain and function under it. Jack had put it in other words, but it was the pain in the end that he could ignore and just go on like nothing is happening.

"You just look phlegmatic" Jack's words rolled in the back of Ianto's mind while he was preparing for bed. Sometimes he regretted that he undressed for Jack, now he would usually pop in Ianto's mind whenever he started to unbutton his shirt, he could clearly see those blue eyes staring at his moving hands.

"You decided that I'm not important" Ianto could hear how Jack says that while he was putting on his pyjama with blue and white stripes. When Jack spoke about Rift incident he rolled it between Lisa and Tosh; but even underneath all that Ianto could hear small ring of disappointment in his voice. In that moment Ianto almost jumped in and explained that it was just the opposite that he shoot Owen because Jack would, because Jack would want for Rift to stay closed, but then Owen's mocking face smirked in his memory and he closed his mouth.

"Pity" Ianto thought to himself while he fell into sleep "that Jack didn't decide to take us back to the Hub where my car was parked. If he had, I surely wouldn't have turned back from his oh so beautiful smile."


	59. News

_Hi, here it is a new chapter that's first bite in End of days. I should warn you before you enter, End of days turned out to be big episode for me, and I tried to showed all perspectives so it will take me awhile to get through it. I hope you will find it amusing enough to stay on board._

_thnx to my beta, here it is improved ch_

_Beta-ed: TattooedLibrarian  
><em>

_Spoiler alert: End of days  
><em>

* * *

><p>By morning Jack was more than uneasy. Spikes were everywhere but there were no sign of alien activity, he had a bad feeling about this. During the night he received various calls asking him about some events that were happening on the other side of the Earth from Cardiff. They called him when anything happened: when planes disappeared or when strange murders occur. He was used to that, but there were three calls too many and they didn't offer much information. Ianto startled him when he brought his morning coffee.<p>

"We are jumpy this morning, sir" said Ianto with slight amusement in his voice, Jack gave him a serious look; he wasn't in the mood for jokes. "Ok then" Ianto withdrew and Jack regretted his behaviour.

"Did you sleep at all last night?" Jack spoke up when Ianto was at the door.

"Oh" Ianto smiled at some private joke "quite nicely in the end, thank you. Some things we just have to accept. Fighting them would only be in vain."

"Good point, but I hope that won't make a pacifist out of you, I don't need another preacher while handling threats of all sorts."

"We'll see" smiled Ianto "I'll have the proposal for Flat Holm by noon on your desk. I'll try to put figures on paper so you can decide if it is acceptable."

"I won't have time today, the Rift is acting like crazy, here take this and deal with it, I trust your judgment." Jack said offering him a page containing account information.

"But that's your account clearance" Ianto looked shocked.

"Yeah, yeah, just don't go crazy and buy small country; everything else should be covered. I need Tosh to scan Rift activity when she gets in we're having weird spikes but nothing seems to be happening"

"Maybe it has something to do with the news about end of the world." Ianto said with his flat expression.

"What news?" Jack jumped from his seat ready for action but there wasn't anywhere to run.

"It's on the television all morning" Ianto looked around and down to his manhole "but of course you don't watch TV, do you." Ianto looked at three computer screens that had no TV signal.

"I had a bad TV show experience" growled Jack "are you going to tell me or I have to find out for myself?"

Ianto shook his head.

"I'll just show you" He approached Jack's computer. Jack sat down and Ianto leaned forward looking online for the world news on BBC. Jack was distracted for a moment by fresh smell of Ianto's aftershave, he looked at young man's profile and freshly shaved chin. He thought for a moment to reach out and touch him, would he back away or not? But then woman on the screen started to describe incidents that were happening all around the world for last two days but no one had connected them till now. Jack forgot all other thoughts while the alarms in his head went off.

"Call Tosh, I'll call Gwen Tell Tosh to drag Owen out of bed, staff meeting in half an hour."


	60. Book of superstitions

_Hi, thnx to my new alert members and my beta's :)_

_Beta-ed: TattooedLibrarian_

_Spoiler alert: End Of Days_

* * *

><p>Jack just stared at the screen, he really did hate television, it reminded him too much of Rose and the Doctor, Daleks, death, everything, but he'd have to put some sort of alert for detecting things like this. For him watching television was compared to how most people of this time felt about black and white pictures, it was so detached from normal. Jack enjoyed the full experience of the 51st century version of TV where you were inside of the screen, you could feel it and touch it, it was as close to a live presence as can be, so staring at flat screen was underwhelming. The woman on the screen was talking about judgment day and he couldn't look up and down to estimate her, to see her shoes, or her hands. It was hard to tell her real emotions like this.<p>

"Ok then, I'll look for the End of Days scripts to see if there is a link." Suddenly Ianto spoke and again surprised Jack; he forgot that he was still standing there.

End of Days script, which sounded even worse than the flat screen. When Ianto emerged from basement with a dusty thick book the cog door opened and Tosh came in running towards her station. Owen was lagging behind her holding his shoulder. Jack got annoyed when he saw that. He was just showing off his wound like he was some kind of a hero. The little prick had gotten worse and worse over the years. Now was the time to show him the boundaries of his own needs.

Ianto started to read out aloud from their favourite book of superstitions; he had never even heard about the book before he landed at Torchwood Cardiff, after that he had to watch carefully to avoid the book's rules. At first he simply refused to read it, but in time it became clear that it was more important to know how people interpreted the rules than what was written in the book.

Everyone listened to Ianto, even Owen paused his cocky comments, so Jack stepped in to stop it.

"You people just love any story that denies the randomness of existence." He had to say to Ianto.

"Thanks, that makes me feel whole lot better." Replied Ianto ironically but Jack hardly heard him as he was already three steps ahead trying to find any solution.

Sadly Tosh proved he was more than correct in his fear about the Rift. He confronted Owen, but bastard just stood there without shred of guilt and challenged him to produce a solution on the spot like he was some kind of miracle worker. Even in his contempt for Jack, Owen had such high expectations from him, he had to almost be a god.

"If it wasn't for me you two would be still stuck in 1940s" said Owen and Jack went stiff as the real Jack's smiling face came into his mind. That wound was still too fresh and Jack felt rage against Owen.

"What are you going to do?" shouted Owen trying to force Jack to erase consequences of his own actions.

"We'll think of something" Jack said to them honestly, but they looked at him with eyes full of fear so he had to reassure them. "This is not the end of the world. I'm certain of that." Is this the time to say 'I've seen the future, it exists'?

Luckily a call came in from a hospital and Owen was off with Tosh.

After that Gwen shouted at him like he was the insensitive one in all this trying to protect Owen from him.

"All of our actions have consequences" Jack tried to argue with her holding back his rage.

"All your staff has feelings, even Owen" she said with her big sympathetic eyes and he lost it.

"Well you would know" he said with scorn and turned to leave before he said something worse.

"Would you rather be stuck in World War Two?" she yelled but then her phone rang and he didn't say, yes I would, back to her.

A Roman soldier, whom he would have found fun in other circumstances, brought some adrenalin release. That helped to ease his tension but when Owen stepped back in the Hub and his rage barometer went through the roof.

Owen charged at him with all his fear and anger, demanding a magical solution, demanding the secret he always thought Jack was keeping from them. He asked Jack to take away his pain and fear, so when Jack told him the truth; that there is no solution, he went mental. Once again Jack tried to make him see his own faults, but no, Owen threw Jack's identity in his face.

"You don't even exist" Owen said and Jack went blank. "Jack Harkness isn't a real person" he continued and Jack's rage came back, he existed more than any of them, Jack Harkness was twice as real then Owen was with his constant drowning in anger and contempt.

"You're done here" Jack growled controlling his movements.

Owen calmed down when he realised that he'd lost, after all that is what he always expect, to lose. He gave a little spectacle of a poor man who knows Retcon is coming; like he would lose anything but the pain that never stops for him.

Jack watch that without backing down, he was detached from it; Gwen shouting at him:, Owen making him a monster that steals lives away; like he hadn't accepted it all when he joined, like he could live on if Jack left his memories of all this, like he hadn't Retconed so many people and considered it a mercy.

When the door closed behind Owen Jack felt relieved. He should have done it years ago but he considered his insubordination useful, even a sign of friendship.

"Let's deal with this" he said to his shaken team. Tosh and Ianto weren't looking at him, but he didn't have time to explain himself to them. Explanations wouldn't get them anywhere, they could stand his decisions, or they couldn't.


	61. Defeat

_Owen's point of view. Thnx for subscribing, review would be appreciated, but this is nice too._

_Spoiler alert: End Of Days_

_Beta-ed: TattooedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>Owen was hurt and pissed. The pain of missing Diane didn't fade away. He didn't want to think what other losses he was pouring into that loss. It was hard enough as it is and Doctor Harper wasn't psychiatrist to really believe all that bullocks about crying and sharing to clean the wound. It wasn't his flesh that was injured; he didn't have anything to stitch up like he did with his shoulder. Damn Ianto wasn't punished in any way for his actions, and even worse Owen didn't get even one simple thank you from Jack.<p>

Lack of acknowledgment he was used to, and he could let it go, but he couldn't believe when Jack treated his actions in the line of duty like mistakes and wrong choices. He went as far to blame him for all that was happening in the world. He had saved Jack and Tosh, not destroying the world. Protecting the world was Jack's role, he'd better live up to his massive ego that made them run around with no explanation whatsoever. Owen left the boardroom before Jack said something that he couldn't forgive.

The hospital made Owen sick. They were diseases that doctors all over the world had defeated in the past, but there were diseases they haven't got medicines for, not anymore, there were so many other diseases that people of this age weren't ready for.

Owen went to Jack for answers; he demanded that he finally tell them why the fuck they all are following him. Instead of solution Jack dared to claim that he has nothing; he said that they have to improvise. Owen was sick and tired of improvising. He accepted Jack which he knew was just a hoax because he believed that there was something behind that superficial look, something that made him a leader. He had to have some hidden solutions or it was pointless, they could follow Gwen blindly through the darkness.

Owen decided that it was time for pretending and he asked Jack to tell them at least tell them his name, to show them they could trust him, that he has something to offer, but he crashed into brick wall. He wasn't surprised, not really. Jack loved when they obeyed him and looked up to him like he is some kind of deity, but first sign of disrespect and you're off. With Retcon, he wouldn't even be able to stay angry at him, to keep the knowledge that Jack Harkness is just an empty shell.

Owen went out defeated. That he knew to handle that well but then Diane appeared before him in all her greatness and he almost cried when he saw her sad eyes. For her he was a hero, charming and loving; he couldn't let Diane down, not her. It didn't matter what everyone else thought of him, she knew him better. So he went back to the Hub to do the right thing.


	62. Useless

_Spoiler alert: End of days_

_Beta-ed: TattooedLibrarian_

_Gwen's point of view, be easy on her._

* * *

><p>Gwen woke up that morning really happy. Things were finally falling into place. Now she was sure that Rhys loved her, her heart. After all she'd done, all turns and doubts she had finally got it. He was the man to whom she would wake up to each morning. Gwen discovered that she could live with her infidelity. She didn't even hold a grudge against Owen anymore. In a way he helped her to see true value in her life. The morning news disturbed her and Ianto's preaching about doomsday wasn't reassuring. Her fear grew even bigger when she realised that Jack had no answer. The argument with Owen made things even worse, and when she tried to reason with Jack, he attacked her. She let that pass because she wasn't mad at herself anymore.<p>

Talking to Andy who could see right through her was a fine interlude into Bilis's appearance. That man gave her the spooks on a normal day, today she freaked when she saw him. She didn't need her detective hunch to tell her that he was in the middle of it all. After all he was behind Jack and Tosh being sent back in time setting Owen on his path.

Gwen couldn't believe when Jack fired Owen, but she was sure they would sort it out, she would talk to Jack when he calmed down. But then she was left alone with Bilis and everything went to shit. Her fear that she had pushed below the whole day now emerged like a shapeless horror that drowned everything else; no, not Rhys, not now, not now when she finally was able to see him. She felt like she had already lost, she had deserved punishment, but she would beat it, she would protect him at any cost.

Watching him locked away in the vault made her less terrified, but she didn't want to let him out of her sight. When the lights went out she just knew, death had come, her punishment. When she held Rhys's body her mind went blank. She didn't want comfort, touch, anything; she couldn't live like that, alone, no not without Rhys. He laid there empty, cold, she could still hear his laughing and shouting. "Don't answer the phone" when Jack called and she did.

Ianto and Tosh spoke up with their weak voices trying to make her let go of him, but no, this was Rhys Williams and he has to live for her.

"You bring him back" she said to Jack. He is reassuring her whole morning that everything will turn out fine. It's not fine, world ended for her, he had to do something about that or else he's nothing to her.

When she heard him decline her she got furious, why did she ever follow that man? She charged at him with all of her strength but he made her powerless locked in a sympathetic grip. Gwen was too weak to struggle, but then Owen came and touched her. How dare he? She wasn't his to hold, he had no right over her. But when he said that they would open the Rift, he finally made sense. Owen Harper knew loss, and he would help her to get back what was hers. That was the solution, she owed Rhys that much.

Gwen was so focused on her task that she didn't even blink when Owen shot Jack. She didn't really care if Jack would revive or not, the Rift would open and put everything back to normal anyway.


	63. No

_Spoiler alert: End Of Days_

_Beta-ed: Tattooed Librarian_

_Ianto's point of view. Couple of reviews wouldn't hurt :) thnx for reading.  
><em>

* * *

><p>Ianto wasn't really scared, not until he saw Lisa. He wasn't a superstitious or a religious man, that was something his mother tried to pour into him. She succeeded with Rhiannon, but he was lost for heaven and he was completely indifferent towards that. Reading Daniel was just his way to establish facts about claims that this was The End of Days. He found enough coincidence to make Gwen uncomfortable, but he believed that prophecies were written in a way that could coincide with almost anything. Nevertheless Jack's point of view that the universe was random wasn't more comforting then some deity you could argue with.<p>

He woke up this morning feeling relaxed. He was satisfied that Jack's distraction worked even now. That's why he was in a good humour when he entered Jack's office; it was fun seeing him there alive and present. He wasn't just a figment of his imagination. Or even better, Jack was in control of himself, he wasn't damaged in any way.

Of course that humour withered when he saw how time was splintering. Things hadn't improved by Owen and Jack fighting. But he focused on his tasks. Everyone was out and he was left by himself to handle all incoming Weevil reports. He managed it as best he could but the vaults were filling at an incredible rate. He had to open levels beneath the nine sublevels; he had never even been down there. He looked at the last captured Weevil concerned, while the Weevil growled in his face. Then the Weevil turned showing fear. Ianto turned around and there she was. She stood there intact. She was whole like she was before; she even wore clothes he didn't recognise like it was real. He closed his eyes for a moment and behind his eyelids he could see her covered with steel and then planted into the splintered scull of a dead girl. He could feel all the pain the images caused.

"Hello Ianto" she said in her soft manner like he was still her own. All he wanted for so long was for her to be whole, to be like she was before, but now when she was standing there he didn't go to her. She started to walk slowly towards him.

"What do you want" the harsh tone of his voice surprised him. Too much had happen, he wasn't the same man before, he wasn't so gullible. "Why are you here? This isn't happening." She took his hand to show him that she was real. His hand didn't respond to her touch, he didn't even squeeze her palm. His hand just lay there without desire to hold her. He had mourned for her but now when he looks at her he knows that is over.

"There is only one way to stop this" she said seriously "before things get worse. People will die Ianto, thousands of people" Ianto looked at her while she was talking and he couldn't deny the reality of her, every single detail was in place "unless you open the Rift." Lisa finished convincingly.

Ianto closed his eyes and he could see all those people dead, when he opened them she was gone. He stood there barely breathing, shaken. He had a hard time keeping up with all that Owen and Jack were saying. It became clear that Owen was fired in the end and was complaining about Retcon. Ianto did sympathise but his mind was struggling with all that Lisa said, and the way she looked alive. Maybe he was wrong, maybe there was something beyond and Lisa got the chance to warn him. Maybe it was her way to redeem herself. She would want to do that if she could.

The day after that became blurry row of Weevil capturing and receiving reports all over town. He got a call to pick up Jack, Gwen and Rhys. Rhys was unconscious and Gwen's story about her vision made his fears surface again. When Rhys died it became clear that Gwen's vision came true, did that mean his vision of the dead people was true also. He stood there feeling useless and powerless. So when Owen came and said he would open the Rift Ianto was sure that there wasn't another way.

Jack stood there signalling with his eyes for Ianto to go after Owen. Most of the time that was enough for Ianto to comply, but today he watched Jack closely as he held Gwen. He held her so tightly and desperately. He wasn't the man of the action that he usually was, he was defeated. And the calm look in his eyes when he looked at Owen whom he sent out in such rage told Ianto that he didn't have a clue what to do. Jack was defeated by the Rift, he wasn't a hero today, he was just a man who would watch people suffer and die without a struggle.

"Make sure that you stop him" said Jack but Ianto turned around and all he could say was no; no to Jack and all his defeat. That was much harder to do than to look at Lisa but he wouldn't be a victim of his affection, not again, not over a man who doesn't care enough to fight.

When Jack came up from the autopsy bay, Ianto didn't even turned around, he stood behind Owen and Gwen and gave them system password; it was the same as the one for Jack's private vault. Jack appreciated the simplest passwords, things that meant something to him. Ianto knew them all, and he had just gotten a new one, the one to Jack's personal account for Flat Holm, maybe opening the Rift would help those people too, maybe they would be restored, it would be better for them. Maybe not for Lonnie who would be sent back to the bonfire, or Jacques who would die falling off a cliff, or... but that's not related to this, they already suffer every day.

Then Jack started to insult them all. Ianto stood there ready to stand in contempt and mocking of his secret affection for the man that was so lost in his role of a hero that he didn't consider he might be wrong. This whole day was about his ego and uncontrolled emotions. If he wasn't so angry Jack would see it too.

But then Jack turned towards him and as their eyes met he started talking about Lisa, like that was his most embarrassing moment. Ianto paused confused for a moment by the fact he didn't feel shame or guilt about it. Jack then turned his anger against others how they shot Lisa together, like Ianto could ever forget that. But that made Ianto realise that Jack thought that he was still mad about it, that he still resented them for her death, that he resented Jack after all that they been through. Like he would let him near if he was still mad.

When Gwen punched Jack in his face Ianto stepped forward filled with adrenaline, but he didn't know on which side to jump. His first impulse was to protect Jack, but he wasn't on his side now. Watching Owen pointing Jack's gun against Jack made his conflict even worse, he didn't know what to do with his hands. They will all calm down now, he should say something but then Jack stood up and Owen pulled the trigger. After that bang everything went quiet for Ianto. He watched in slow motion how Jack falls down and how his body twitches under gunfire. Ianto fell on the floor by Jack's side horrified.

"What have you done?" He looked up in Owen from Jack's side not believing he was just standing on the opposite side and let this happen. He lowered his eyes to look at Jack's body. He wasn't there anymore. Jack disappeared in an instant. His eyes stared up without any expression, dead. All was lost, his smile, his posture, there wasn't any grace left in his empty body.

Others turned their back on Jack and continued with the emergency protocol. Ianto couldn't stand the sight of Jack's unmoving body; living Jack was never still, so he got up. Ianto gave them his retina scan but that didn't bother him anymore. Everything had lost its meaning. It was like he wasn't there anymore.


	64. Disappointment

_Jack's point of view._

_Spoiler alert: End Of Days_

_Beta-ed: TattooedLibrarian_

* * *

><p>Jack watched how his world was splintering around him. It wasn't only time that had splintered, it seemed like everything he held important is slipping away. He waited the whole day for inspiration to come his way, something that would allow him to deal with this, but that didn't happen. Bilis just disappeared before his eyes. Then Gwen went mental because he showed her vision of death and she wouldn't hear reason from him. It was just tricks and magic, or at least he thought so.<p>

Then Rhys was there all covered in blood and he lost hope that he would find a way out of this. He felt Gwen's pain and sorrow so intensely that he could barely breathe. He opened up to her like he rarely did and her pain became his own. He washed her hands of blood while she sat there numb, unresponsive. He thought that was horrible, but then she spoke up and things got even worse.

He tried to tell her that was better to let go of the dead, but his words had no power, he couldn't find them, all he could do was hold on to his authority. He watched her scream, and watched her suffer and couldn't do anything to take that away. When she attacked him all he could do was to hold her tightly like a child until she stopped struggling. He closed his eyes and drowned in her sorrow.

The difference between him and others was that Jack had seen so much death, so much suffering that he had accepted it. There is no way to avoid loss and grief, they lived in a world divided by death, and loss was just a matter of time, nothing you could fix, and nothing you should fix. They still lived in the illusion that pain and death was something that happened to others, that they could fight it, that it wasn't fair when it came for those they love.

Then came Owen and took her away from his arms, back in mad obsession about deleting time deleting Owen, deleting guilt.

Jack wasn't angry at Owen anymore, he was just a child trying to fix everything, not facing up to the fact that all the suffering wasn't Jack's fault, that it comes from connections, from caring, from being alive.

Ianto could deal with him, Jack didn't have the strength to argue with him anymore, but then Ianto turned, looked down at him and said no. Jack stood there shocked, not Ianto, he couldn't turn his back on Jack. But he did, he went away without look back. Tosh and Gwen followed them, which Jack could understand. Tosh would follow Owen almost anywhere. Gwen wasn't herself; she only had one goal, to get Rhys back, to rewind time. But Ianto, why would he follow Owen? Did he do it to hurt Jack? If he did, it worked.

Jack stood there for a moment stunned by his life that had turned on him. He was once again there standing alone, and none of them were dead, nor they found out his secret. They just decided that he wasn't trust worthy.

It didn't matter, decided Jack, they were only passing through his life, they were not important. The important thing was to stop them before they destroyed whole world. He stood there pointing a gun in Gwen's long and lost face. He tried to argue but that went nowhere. They were a united front.

Jack couldn't stop his disappointment in them from showing. He reminded them of the moments in which they betrayed him, in which they showed their selfishness, their weakness. He should have left them then, one by one, not embraced their faults. When he got down to Gwen he lowered his gun like he always did, he didn't have his guard in front of her from day one. She knew everything, but that's why his disappointment in her had hurt more.

Of course she couldn't take it and she attacked him again throwing him on the ground. Jack was on the floor looking up at Owen who was desperately trying to claim authority for himself. Jack despised him in that moment; he despised his fear and his need for control. Leaders can't be scared shitless.

"If you want to be in charge Owen, you have got to have significantly bigger balls." Jack said getting up.

Next thing he remembered were the alarms going off and the Hub falling apart. He grabbed Gwen's leg.

"What have you done?" he asked but then parts of ceiling began to fall around and one chunk fell on Jack's leg.

Gwen and Ianto pulled Jack out and dragged him through collapsing Hub out. They paused outside on the street and Ianto got him into his coat. Jack grabbed the young man by his shoulders to ground him there. Ianto was on his side and that was the way things should be, Jack earned that. They continued to run away from the Hub. It could collapse any minute. Ianto's grab on Jack's hand was bone crushing but Jack didn't mind that, it showed him that he wasn't alone. Gwen supported him on the other side but she was focused on defending herself, still arguing that she was right.

In the back ally stood Bilis, he was calm and confident in the middle of the shaking Earth. He preached to them looking up, looking pleased. Gwen let go of Jack trying to understand. Jack put his hands on Ianto's shoulders and he accepted holding him upright, clenching his fists on Jack.

Then they turned around and there he was, the creature from nightmares, high and mighty, roaring and feasting on life. No wonder people of Earth were obsessed with the devil when that creature was captured here all this time.

"How do we stop it? Tell me what to do Jack." Gwen turned towards him.

Jack looked around and found that they were all back; they were his team again, looking for his guidance. Luckily Bilis in his pride gave Jack a clue he could follow.

"Just you" he picked Gwen "get me to an open space." After this day he was willing to sacrifice her. All of this was her doing. If she hadn't stepped in he would have easily defeated others, she had undermined his decisions the whole day. Owen had fought but if she hadn't stood behind him he wouldn't have found the balls for any of this. Besides, Owen had done it in a fight for others, he thought he was right, but she had only done it for Rhys, for her own guilt, nothing else.


	65. Adjustment

Gwen's point of view. Thnx for new reviews, I love them :)

Spoiler alert: End Of Days

Beta-ed: TattooedLibrarian

* * *

><p>While Gwen drove there was silence in the car. Gwen was empty. She has lost everything she believed was hers, she has lost her ability to see clearly what's right and what's wrong. The line between has become blurry. She forgot that there was a time when she believed in a higher force, in meaning, in punishment. She had her strong inner sense of right and wrong, that had always led her through life, through her police work, but in Torchwood she had gotten so entangled that she couldn't see the world like she had before. Everything was turned upside down and it was hard to comprehend what that meant for her life, for the people around her. She let herself slide, to get detached from Rhys, to think she could live life inside of Hub like Tosh did. Jack had warned her that things were drifting, and she had fixed it. But now, now she was just a shell on the waves hoping that Rhys was home, that he wasn't underneath Abbadon's shadow when he went storming through the town. Rhys was her home, her place where she could go back to. He knew her the way she was before, sweet, innocent, and good and she could be that person with him, cheerful and loud. She wasn't sure if she could find that person with someone else, nor could this new serious and scared Gwen love anyone like she loved Rhys.<p>

When Gwen sat beside Rhys's body she finally could clearly see what he represented in her life. She had always underestimated him, partly because he'd done it too. He was the thing that kept her going, the man that believed in her even when things weren't going the way he'd like. In that moment Gwen finally understood how solitude felt, how the rest of them felt all day long. They had all lost someone they loved, all of them. They have lost themselves that were loved. Those persons who were loved were someone completely different than those pale people leaned against the wall. She would be someone just like that if she lost Rhys. Her world would become a gray and sad place and she would have to flee from it, probably into her work like they did, but no, not her, she wouldn't become that, she couldn't do that.

When Gwen realized that she had stormed on Jack with all her power to demand, with all her power to find solution to a problem. She was so full of rage towards him, he tricked her into joining Torchwood. He promised her adventure, he promised she would be able to protect people, to help and to serve, not to watch the world fall apart.

That's why when Owen came to open up the Rift Gwen had followed him. Her need to have Rhys in her world was so strong that she forgot her need to protect, to serve. She had given so much; it was't fair to be rewarded with this kind of loss. Her actions had purpose again as she typed passwords and protocols without thinking. When Owen shot Jack all she could think of was how they needed to keep going.

Gwen wasn't worried about Jack, he could survive anything, she had seen it many times before, and she had even drowned him at his demand. But after she pulled Jack out of the Hub Abbadon had roared at them and everything changed once again. The right became wrong, and wrong right, all those people had died just because she wanted Rhys back. Gwen did what she had gotten really good at, she adjusted her view and asked Jack for a solution. She was calm, after all Jack had solution; they just hadn't had faith in him until now.

In the car she thought about it all, she still wanted for Rhys to be safe, but she wanted the world to be safe also. She brought Jack to an open space and suddenly realized what the solution was.

"I am all you can eat buffet" said Jack and suddenly she didn't want to let go. Maybe this was too big, maybe he couldn't survive this, but he pushed her away and she obeyed. She cried while she watched the light coming out of Jack. It looked so painful, but it was Jack she told herself he would overcome this, he had to. After Abbadon fell and everything went down to normal she ran towards Jack. His body was so still and when he didn't revive in a half an hour she had to call Owen to help her move him into the safety of the Hub. There he could revive in peace.


	66. Falling down

_Feel free to throw some tomatoes on me review button is for that too. Here is Owen's point of view. Thnx to new alert member :)  
><em>

_Spoiler alert: End of Days_

_Beta-ed: TattooedLibrarian_

* * *

><p>Owen was petrified after he shot Jack. He continued with his plan in pure horror. The anger that drove him to this moment was gone, charged with a bullet. Gwen looked at him but in her face there wasn't any judgment, just pure focus that made him keeping going. He scanned Jack's retina but his eyes couldn't stop blinking trying desperately to erase the sight. Owen focused on the screen waiting for the proof that he was right, that his actions were justified. Sometimes you just have to act to fix things. But then the Hub started to fall apart and Jack rose from the dead.<p>

Owen was confused and stunned, that was even worse than a dead Jack. He jumped away from Jack who was intact and started to run away. When they got outside he couldn't believe just how wrong he was. People were falling down like weeds, their lives taken away without cause. He had lost his voice to argue, to fight, to ask, he didn't have anything left. All his pride was gone, his conviction he that he could defeat destiny, to fix sorrow or help Dianne. Dianne seemed like distant dream while he watched the bodies spread across the pavement. Gwen spoke up, determined like she hadn't done anything wrong. Owen looked at Jack without any real hope that he could do anything, but Jack looked at him breathing in and said that he had a solution, now after everything. Then Jack and Gwen were off and all he could do was to go from body to body to determine what was already obvious. The people were dead, stone cold like they died days ago.

Tosh followed Owen down the street.

Ianto stood watching his phone, waiting.

They were useless.

When Gwen called him Owen could barely understand her but Ianto got her GPS location and they went for her. Owen drove wandering why Ianto hadn't stepped in, why he trusted Owen to drive, but then he looked at the younger man in the passenger seat and decided that he wouldn't want him to drive now. Tea boy couldn't stand stress very well; he looked pale and terrified like Abandon was still walking above them.


	67. Mislead

_Tosh point of view. Ianto is on next :)_

_Spoiler alert: End Of Days_

_Beta-ed: TattooedLibrarian_

* * *

><p>Tosh wasn't there after she saw her mother. She was like that day they were trapped in that room while her sonic made their ears bleed.<p>

Her mother terrified and alone while she worked trying to do the impossible, that was the reason she woke up in the morning, her reason for everything. Tosh had wow that her mother would be safe, unharmed. But there she stood in the middle of quarantine speaking to her in Japanese like she did in times of trouble. Tosh replayed that scene over and over in her head not really grasping what was going on around her. She did notice when Owen left, but she didn't feel capable to do anything. Tosh hadn't felt so powerless since she had spent days and days in solitary confinement.

Watching Gwen cry made her feel ashamed. She didn't love anyone so dearly to feel that kind of pain. Her comfort was harshly turned down and she looked at her feet. It wasn't like she could fix this; she was far from adequate for this job.

Then Owen came back and her hope rose. He could do something, he was the man of the action, and he just didn't know to give up.

"We'll help him" she said to Jack thinking that he should do so too but he came up and insulted them all. He acted like he had death wish when he hovered over Owen with scorn and contempt. She was shocked when Jack went down. It almost seemed too easy, but in the back of her brain she thought that Jack behaved silly. Didn't he know that Owen can't stand bullying? He should have known that.

She turned her eyes away from Jack's body as they opened up the rift. Her mother said they should do it, she wouldn't mislead her.

But then everything began to fall apart and Jack rose like he hadn't been shot in the head. There wasn't even time to think, they just had to run for their lives.

Tosh would never forgive herself this day. Jack had saved her, he trusted her in spite of what she'd done. He understood that she'd done it for her mother, for love. She didn't understand what was at stake but now, after all she had seen, she should know better. She should have known that Jack would be first to open the Rift if anything good would go out of it.

When she saw Jack broken and pale laying on the rocky ground she started to cry. He had done so much for her and she betrayed him again.


	68. White as snow

_oh, oh, oh my. Three reviews in one day, and so wonderful too. Thank you very much. Especially to Yukimi to whom I can't send PM to. Thank you for new alerts too. It makes me breathe (not bread like my beta pointed out, I laugh when I realized my mistake) easier knowing you want to tag along. Here is Ianto, enjoy, although with sadness.  
><em>

_Spoiler alert: End Of Days_

_Beta-ed: TattooedLibrarian_

* * *

><p>After Jack revived by gasping air and shouting Ianto felt his heart skip several beats, he began to breathe again. When he heard Jack's voice loud, sound and alive he started to move with purpose. He grabbed Jack holding him tightly. The weight of the man was comforting, he was breathing, his palms were warm, his scent filled Ianto's nose with a familiar feeling. He carried Jack through the collapsing Hub feeling with each step more awake, more alive. When he passed by Jack's coat he just grabbed it from a hanger without thinking. That coat was a part of Jack, it was his armour and Jack needed it. He had let go of Jack only for one moment when he had to go down the stairs, but then he turned waiting for him, ignoring bricks and concrete that rained around them. When Jack grabbed him again he intertwined their hands, holding Jack on his side.<p>

As they dragged Jack down the street Ianto thought how strange it felt to support his Captain. It seemed that Jack rarely needed help. After Gwen let go of Jack he supported whole his weight on Ianto and Ianto took it, it was familiar weight and it kept him in place, right place, by Jack's side. Ianto held Jack's arms to confirm he was there, to keep him there. But then horror filled the sky, the monster that haunted his dreams before he was able to replace it with real face, the one of his father. This was a real creature and they let him out, Abaddon the Great Devourer, just like in book Ianto had read that morning.

Then Gwen came back and asked Jack to do something. Jack stood up and let go of Ianto leaving just one hand on his shoulder, Ianto held that hand as long as he could, but then he had gone. Gwen took him to Abaddon and all Ianto could think was _sacrifice_. Sacrifice was a common thing in those kinds of stories, ones that involved demons and gods. He stared at his phone, but the call didn't come. When Owen's phone rang he knew Jack was gone. Jack wouldn't call Owen, he would call him. So he followed Owen feeling heavy. They found Gwen clutching Jack's body. This time she cried like she hadn't before when Owen shot Jack. Abaddon was gone. Ianto took Jack's body from Gwen's hands and she helped him put Jack into the SUV. He drove Gwen and Jack while Owen and Tosh followed behind them. He was so calm, like he didn't feel anything. Gwen mumbled behind him and Ianto understood enough to make small picture. Jack couldn't die and she begged him to revive again. Apparently that was usual thing for him. Thing he had shared with Gwen but not with him.

That explained some things to Ianto. Like Jack's often torn, bloody clothes while he was unharmed beneath it. Torchwood got it wrong, he wasn't just healing fast he was rising from the dead. No wonder he didn't want Torchwood One sniffing around, they would have taken him and closed him up in a basement so deep that nobody would have heard of him again. While he was driving Ianto made revision of his memories of Jack fitting in new information about the man. That made him somewhat calmer, capable of driving. When they arrived at their parking lot Gwen suddenly looked up.

"Rhys" she whispered and jumped out of the car forgetting about Jack. She drove away in her car.

Ianto was satisfied with that. She disturbed his thoughts and emotions; he couldn't think while she expressed herself. Ianto took out trolley and moved Jack on it. Only when Jack was on it Ianto realized what he was doing. Tosh and Owen arrived but neither of them was willing to get near Jack's body. Ianto was fine with that. He turned away pushing Jack's body down like he had with so many others. It took him a while to realize that his face is wet from tears. He didn't lift his hand to wipe them; he just pushed on towards morgue.

"Someday we'll run out of space" said Jack to him leaning against the drawers filled with bodies. He looked like wounded angel in that moment. Ianto remembered that moment well. He remembered lots of moments while he was undressing Jack's familiar body. It helped him to deal with the stone cold skin that was once Jack. He had lost him twice in that day.

Ianto put Jack in a body bag but he hesitated before pulling the zipper. He studied his face white like snow and he wondered should he kiss him goodbye just in case, it had worked on Ianto, but Ianto was just human. Nevertheless it couldn't hurt, he thought, but then Gwen raced in.

"No Ianto, stop it, he will come back, he's not dead."

Ianto pulled back leaning against drawers feeling sorrow climbing up his throat. He wiped his tears behind Gwen's back, and then Tosh and Owen came humble and small. Gwen paced around while Owen examined Jack determining the obvious.

"I want to sit with him" Gwen finished their argument and the others started to leave, Ianto followed them hesitantly.

They watched Gwen and Jack on CCTV inside Hub.

"How long is she going to do that?" Owen asked and Ianto looked at him scared that he would make her stop and give up.

The next few days Ianto composed himself cleaning mess in the Hub, clearing ruin's from Jack's office. His nose was clogged whole that time because he cried through it, that's all grieving he allowed himself. As days passed Ianto's hope that Gwen was right withered. Tasks were the only thing that kept him going. That was the way he dealt with pain. After he cleared last chunks of glass from Jack's office he lingered in there straightening his things and files that were always in messy piles. He didn't want to think that it all would get boxed and he would probably be the one to do it. As he passed by Jack's desk Ianto approached Jack's coat. It hung there on the coat stand where Ianto had placed it. Ianto didn't fold it with rest of Jack's clothes, he had brought it up from the morgue and it waited for its Captain, to cover his shoulders, to shield him. Ianto took heavy coat from the hanger and hesitantly brought it to his nose to breathe in Jack's scent. It was there sweet and strong, inviting and comforting. Ianto started to cry. For a moment he let himself feel the loss that he suffered.


	69. Undefeated

_Spoiler alert: End Of Days_

_Beta- ed: TattooedLibrarian :) but I want to end this episode within next 4 days, to wrap it up. I want to see can I pull of The Year That Never Was. So I hope you'll enjoy in one more round of everyone point of view. Here is Gwen. And just for the record I don't hate Gwen, I'm quite fond of her and Rhys, maybe he's just my kind of guy.  
><em>

_Special thanks to paulaloveremus on your enthusiasm._

* * *

><p>Gwen refused to accept Jack's death. She couldn't believe he could be destroyed. The first day that they met, the day that she remembered clearly, he told her he couldn't die. She began to rely on that, which had become one of the stepping stones in her life. Everything could go to shit and fall apart but Jack will still stand there undefeated.<p>

That's why she sat there determined to call him back. He lied there cold but without sign of deterioration. She straightened his sheets, stared at his face but he didn't move, didn't respond. Others came and went bringing her coffee and food but she barely noticed them. She continued to stare at Jack's face. What she had done was right, everyone had been sent back to their time and Rhys was alive. All those people died under Abaddon, but who knew what would happen if they kept him there, maybe he would have torn this world apart slowly. This way Jack could defeat him with all that life that had been given to him.

She saw life escaping out of him, but she couldn't believe that was all. The world still turned; there must be more energy for Jack to live on.

Owen talked to her like she was the crazy one, but she didn't listen. She sat there still, but then she thought that this maybe was the price they paid. Maybe Jack wanted to go; he sure looked like it because he was charged at Abaddon with all his might.

That's why she finally let him go. She placed a kiss on his lips and left him, but she stopped when he took a breath, it was a soft breath with which came 'thank you'.

She ran back and laughed, everything was all right.


	70. The navigator

_Hi, here is Tosh. Enjoy :)_

_Spoiler alert: End Of Days_

_Beta-ed: TattooedLibrarian (thank you)_

* * *

><p>It was hard for Tosh to look at Gwen standing over Jack; she feared that they had lost her too. That's why she went there every day to talk to her. Finally she ran out of words, all she could say was 'let him go'. Let him go like I should have my mother, like Owen should have Diane, and Ianto Lisa. After that she left to do her job. There were things to be done, they needed to function and she gave her best to navigate Owen and Ianto throughout the day. The both of them were useless. It seemed like Owen lost all of his ambition after he shot Jack, he just stood there and when he moved it was just because she ordered him around. He would have never let that happen in the past. He stared at the screen without blinking. Living with Jack dead wasn't easy for Owen. That's why she gave out more tasks of cleaning and rewiring. Owen complied but he was doing it without his wit, humour, or even sarcasm.<p>

Ianto was even worse. He hadn't spoken at all. She wasn't sure he spoke another word after Owen shot Jack. If he had she hadn't heard it, and she highly doubted that he spoke to Owen or Gwen. Only thing she heard from him was his sniffing of his nose. He complied without problems and he completed all his tasks with his usual efficiency and the Hub started to look normal. But Ianto didn't look normal. That's why she started to work beside him to keep him company. She wasn't sure he'd even noticed, but at least she kept eye on him.

She wasn't one to keep up hope in Jack's return, she simply believed that the thing that the others called a soul vanished when the synapses in the brain died and lost its electricity. Jack's brain didn't have any kind of electricity, she checked. That's why she was stunned when Jack walked out of the vaults alive and smiling. She ran towards him filled with pure joy and happiness. It was the best thing that had happened in a very long time. He hugged her tightly to his chest and she knew everything was alright, he wasn't mad at her. Then he went on to meet Ianto.

* * *

><p><em>AN: I'm quite fond of this bit. I just love Tosh, feel free to push button below and honor our beautiful and determinant lady :)_


	71. The bridge

_Here is Owen. It's great to get over 20 comments, thank you very much :) after this short one there will be Jack and Ianto, and End of Days will be over.  
><em>

_Spoiler alert: End Of Days, Fragments, Another Life  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattooedLibrarian_

* * *

><p>Owen was scrubbing floors, cleaning windows, and throwing out trash, but he couldn't get rid of the guilt, of the defeat. He was empty of desires, of beliefs; he didn't know how the world worked anymore. People from the vaults were missing, maybe they went back, and maybe Abaddon fed on them. Rhys was safe but all of those people on the street remained dead. Talk on TV was about massive hallucinations and an unknown epidemic that spread through air. They didn't need to think of cover story, people had done that by themselves.<p>

He was so mad at Jack for so long, he was more than angry when he shot him down but now he couldn't even remember why. He felt like he had sobered up. Katie died, he took Megan on space ship to die, and Dianne left by her own will. Maybe he was mad at Jack because he never got hurt, or it didn't seem like he did, he looked invincible and Owen couldn't stand that.

Whatever it was all that Owen could remember now about Jack were good things, laughs, basket ball games, jokes, and pats on the shoulder. And Owen had destroyed all that.

When he entered main floor he stopped shocked by sight Jack kissing Tea boy. The kiss didn't battle him; that was Jack, he clearly got his way in some moment and that wasn't surprising. But Jack, Jack stood there like it was a normal thing to do so. Owen slowly crossed the bridge towards Jack and discovered that he didn't know what to say. He was empty of jokes and mocking, he was washed away. But he tried to say something. Jack stopped him showing that he understood maybe even better than Owen himself and then he forgave him, that finally made Owen cry. Jack grabbed Owen's head to his chest but even then Owen couldn't give in, not completely, he would never forgive himself for being such failure.


	72. Alarm sound

_Halo, here is Jack and his perspective. Hope you'll enjoy it. Feel free to review or PM me. Thank you for reading. I just love Jack so much.  
><em>

_Spoiler alert: End Of Days, Utopia_

_Beta-ed: TattooedLibrarian_

* * *

><p>Jack felt every little string of energy that was lost to Abaddon. He almost believed that he would lose, that he would die, but then Abaddon fell when his consciousness was slipping away. It was most painful death ever, and he had his share of deaths. The darkness continued on and on and he felt Abaddon in the dark, angry and incompetent. But he could keep Jack like Suzie said, he was coming for him after all, for all the life he possessed. There was no way back, he couldn't feel his body anywhere, he gave up, but then he felt something on his lips, something familiar. It was a kiss; his body was there he just had to move it. It was hard because his energy wasn't back yet but he managed to say 'thank you' and then he lifted his eyelids that weighed a ton. There she was, Gwen Cooper waiting for him to come back home, believing in him. After everything, she stood there and her smile lit up his chest and he managed to smile. Being alive wasn't such bad thing.<p>

She helped him stand up and gave him his clothes. His coat wasn't there, it was cold without it, and he was cold. He held her hand while they climbed the stairs; the warmth of her palm was soothing. He stopped at the sight Tosh and Ianto; they were there as he left them, safe. Tosh crushed herself in him welcoming him back. He watched over her head as Ianto stood up and approached him with disbelief in his eyes. Ianto lowered his eyes to hide emotions like he usually did and put out his hand in search of a handshake. Jack smiles at his attempt to stay distant so he pulled him near to feel his presence. The young man clinched to him grabbing him tightly and Jack could feel his erratic breathing as he buried his face in his shoulder. Jack pulled away to look at Ianto and as their eyes met he could see all of his emotions trapped in them and he pulled him in a kiss as he should have a long time ago. Ianto's lips lock firmly on his and he felt how Ianto leaned into it just to pull back. But then there is Owen with his stunned guilt and he walked towards him to forgive him like he decided he would a long time ago. It's an easy thing to forgive really, he shot him for the greater good, Jack survived and they managed to preserve the world they all live in.

After that they all gather around in Jack's office and he took his coat pulling it on. It was nice and warm. He sat and they all started to talk trying to explain themselves, talking about the ghosts that they had seen. Only Ianto stayed quiet, Tosh said on his behalf that he saw Lisa. Of course he did, who else would it have been? Ianto looked away when their eyes met. Jack was tired. The coffee machine was broken so Ianto went out in search for coffee, Tosh and Owen decided that he needed a hand and Jack welcomed the silence.

Gwen sat on his table talking, asking, and smiling. She was glad he was back and that was a nice feeling. Her prying about his loved ones however wasn't nice. The string of his deceased loved ones was long but he wouldn't have welcomed them nor would they have welcomed him. Bitterness came between them long before the end, and thrust was rarely even established. While they were talking Jack went through the reports of recent events that were waiting for him on his desk. They were sorted by importance and that made it clear that Ianto had put them there. That sign of welcome was also nice.

"What vision would have temped you to open the Rift" asked Gwen and he thought about it.

"The right kind of Doctor" he said knowing that even Abaddon couldn't produce a false Doctor; he was too old and too complicated to reproduce. Then he got up to get away from the questions. Maybe he had come back, and now they all knew, but that didn't mean he was too eager to answer their questions. He learned to hate those, it always brought misunderstandings to his life.

"Where are they with those coffees" he asked wishing they would hurry up.

Everything was going back to normal, he thought but then he lifted his head, the sound he was waiting for was there. Sound of the Tardis came through his alarm speaker by the Doctor's hand. His Doctor detector went off. For a second Jack smiled stunned but then he jumped up, grabbed empty backpack he kept in cabinet beside the container with the hand. Luckily the hand was already detached as others had tried to repair its supply unit. Jack pushed the jar into his bag. He wasn't paying attention to the mess he was creating. There is no time; he didn't think about anything but to reach Doctor in time. Of course Abaddon had attracted the Doctor. The Doctor had a trouble detector but he often had landed slightly off. When he realised that everything was over he would slip away. He pushed the button for invisible lift, which he navigated to be right next to the Doctor's parking space, but it just opened up and let the draft in, it had broken in an earthquake caused by Abaddon. Jack ran through corridors as fast as he could. The corridors that led to the docks were never so long. Jack ran across the Plaza shouting 'Doctor!', trying to attract his attention but the Tardis had already started to make its starting sound so he jumped clinging to the side of it. Jack shouted all the way through the temporal tunnel but he didn't let go. He survived Abaddon, this was almost fun in comparison.


	73. Linger

_Cherry on the top, Ianto's perspective and end of first season, now we're on the verge uncharted territory of The Year That Never Was. Thank you for the wonderful reviews they brought me joy.  
><em>

_Spoiler alert: End Of Days_

_Beta-ed: TattooedLibrarian_

* * *

><p>Ianto was in denial. He wasn't an expressive man. He had trained himself for so long to be withdrawn, to hold back that it become second nature.<p>

He had started the thing with Jack just because he believed that it wouldn't too deep. Because when Ianto got in too deep he didn't know to get out. That's why he denied himself relief in Jack's return. The emotion that he felt when he saw Jack was alive was too big to comprehend. It almost overpowered him, that's why he tried to shake Jack's hand, he tried to stay composed. But Jack refused that attempt and drew him near. Ianto buried his mouth and nose in Jack's shoulder fighting the tears. He inhaled his smell and felt the heat underneath his palms, Jack was there. When Jack pulled back Ianto moved his head away reluctantly but their bodies stayed pressed together. Ianto held Jack even when other man put his hands on his neck and pulled him into kiss. Ianto closed his eyes and gave into it. It was like his heart started to pound again, but then he remembered where he was and that the others were watching so he pulled away. Jack let go of him with his soft smile that Ianto wasn't able to return.

He felt cold when he stood alone watching Jack as he held Owen offering comfort to the man who killed him. Owen cried and it was a disturbing sight, and that was the moment Ianto started to deny his emotions that closed up his throat. Owen cried and Tosh and Gwen were overwhelmed too. It was just that kind of moment; rising from death doesn't leave anyone indifferent.

As they followed Jack into his office Ianto kept his distance avoiding making contact with others. He felt exposed. He wasn't used to that feeling. He could still feel Jack's kiss on his lips like it was placed there permanently. He was conflicted about that feeling. On the one side he wanted to savour that feeling, to drag Jack near and pour all the feelings, the angst and fear of the past few days in him. On the other side he wanted to run away and think, to sort things out, to calm down. He chose another option. Things were mad and his feelings were just reflection of it all.

Unfortunately Tosh and Owen decided to follow him. He rushed ahead and walked one step before them. Obviously they also had difficulties in accepting Jack's true nature. They weren't aware of his ability to survive death.

"All those years and he didn't confide in us" mumbled Tosh.

"Yeah but sweet Gwen got trusted on her first day in" growled Owen "I bet Ianto knew to." Owen sounded bitter.

"No" was all Ianto could say.

"She saw him die" Tosh disproved him "it's hard to erase that even with Retcon, she already beat it once. Probably was easier to take her in and keep eye on her."

"Whatever makes you sleep better Tosh" replied Owen "he never trusted us."

"Should he?" Tosh was angry. "Just how short is your memory."

"Ok, ok" Owen backed down "but maybe we would trust him if he trusted us, showed us what he could do."

Tosh didn't have reply on that.

"Oi Tea Boy" Owen was clearly trying to retrieve his cockiness "you must be over thrilled your boss is back."

Ianto kept walking looking straight forward one pace before them.

"He's our boss too, and stop picking on him" Tosh reproached him.

"So you're the boss now?" Owen mocked her.

"Somebody has to be, you cracked like a baby under pressure, don't deny it. What if Jack could die, what if it was me, or Ianto, Gwen even." Her thin voice rose angrily and Ianto felt a small relief, like she was ventilating some of his anxiety.

"Ianto shot me too, I didn't see you picking on him, and I saved you." He was quite distressed.

"He shot you in the shoulder, Owen." Tosh said patiently.

Owen was quite for awhile.

"How will we deal with Jack from now on?" Owen spoke up again. Ianto could hear worry in his voice.

"Like we always do" answered Tosh "he hasn't change, he was like this all that time. We just know a bit more about him."

"Yeah, now we know there is a lot more we didn't know about him then before" Owen smirked but then they finally arrived to the coffee shop. They ordered and for a moment everything was as usual.

On their way back they walked before Ianto. He wasn't in a hurry to get back. Questions how to act towards Jack was bigger for Ianto. He could do butler, harassment, affair, even part-time-shag, but now it all seemed different. Could he do more? Should he do more? Had it even meant anything to Jack?

Then the Cog doors rolled open.

"Didn't we tidy it up in here" asked Owen and Ianto looked around at the mess of papers and wires.

"Something has taken him. Jack's gone" said Gwen with her big eyes and messy hair.

Ianto examined room with his eyes and spotted an empty place. The hand, which Jack held so tenderly and concerned when first container fell and broke, was gone.

Ianto stood there holding the cup of coffee Jack wasn't going to drink. Of course, thought Ianto, why would he stay with them, they all had betrayed him. They stood as one when Owen shot him.

In that moment Ianto stopped denying his feelings. He felt sorrow, sadness of loss, and that kiss was just a goodbye kiss. He should have lingered in it a bit longer.


	74. Empty frames

_Hey. Here is first step into unknown. Unfortunately I didn't have a chance to read novels connected to Year That Never Was, so this will be my take on missing time. Hope you'll enjoy it._

_No spoilers_

_Beta-ed: TattooedLibrarian_

* * *

><p>Rest of the day rushed before Ianto's eyes in a blur. Tosh and Gwen threw themselves into their computers and cameras trying to piece out what happened to Jack. Owen retreated in to the medical bay and cleaned his instruments with steady, maybe even stern expression. He wasn't expecting anything good to came out of this, and he had lost his authority, he didn't feel like he could impose his opinions on others. Gwen and Tosh had thrown each other instructions but Toshiko's knowledge and steadiness landed her on top of the situation. She found pictures of Jack with his backpack on and running towards something yelling, and then he just disappeared in dead angle of the CCTV. He threw himself in a blank spot and didn't emerge on the other side where he should. Toshiko replayed the videos from every angle but couldn't catch what had happened.<p>

Ianto wasn't really interested. Jack was gone, he left on his own will and that's that. Ianto had to admit to himself that it was a better option than a dead, unmoving Jack in the morgue.

"I can't believe he would he turned his cell phone off" Gwen murmured "why would he do that?"

"Maybe he doesn't need it there." Ianto spoke up and both women turned startled, his voice sounded deep and raw, he hadn't used it for days. "Anyway I'm done, so I'll be off." He looked from one woman to the other. They looked at each other and Gwen nodded to Tosh. Tosh turned to Ianto.

"Ok then, see you in the morning." Said Tosh and followed Ianto to the cog door. "Will you be fine tonight?" She asked him quietly.

"Of course" said Ianto with his small smile "why wouldn't I be?" He looked down at her with a steady smile while she struggled with words. Finally she decided to let it go.

"Good night then" she said with a smile and he was off. He walked at his normal pace just in case they are watching him. He paused at the outside doors breathing in cool night air. It had a bite in it and he was pleased with that. He started slowly to walk towards his apartment like he had the last couple of days. Walking usually helped him clear his head and think straight, but this time it didn't. It seemed like his mind was stuck and couldn't process whole chain of events let alone his feelings towards it all.

When Ianto realized that Jack was gone he let the wave of sorrow and sadness wash over him, but that passed and left him stranded. What now? Did anything even change for him? Not like they had anything he should miss, even worse, they were in some kind of limbo; he'd call it break up if he could call their arrangement some kind of relationship.

Maybe Owen was right; Ianto thought roughly; maybe best description for it was part-time-shag, nothing he should cry about.

Ianto went up the stairs, unlocked his flat and switched the light on. He stood there for a moment disoriented. Something was different. It took him awhile to realise what it was.

Lisa was gone. She wasn't there anymore. He was alone. Her things were still there, but they were just things. He didn't feel her presence while he looked at them. He couldn't picture her standing there, greeting him.

Ianto sat on the sofa and started to cry. He realized what had changed. His feelings changed.

After a while he wiped his face and when he rubbed his lips he remembered. Jack kissed him this morning, and Ianto had kissed him back. It was like that had cut the last string that was still attaching him to Lisa.

He hadn't have desire to kiss her anymore, not even to hold her. He didn't want her to be here and comfort him. He watched pictures of her, and memories were there, but the feelings were gone. Only now he realized how coldly he had greeted her ghost days ago. He should have known then, but he was too horrified to notice. He had no desire to pull her near. Looking at her face all he could see was death and suffering, steel and blood.

Maybe that was Jack's last gift to him, freeing him from his past. Ianto got up, pulled boxes from the closet where they had been waiting for him to let go, and started to collect Lisa's belongings in them. In the end there were three boxes full of books, movies, sheets, blankets, cups, pens, perfume and t-shirts. Most of her things he had thrown out after she died. He had tried to move on, but he couldn't let go her daily presence in his life. He finally took picture frames from the night stand and dresser. After brief hesitation he took pictures out and threw the frames in the last box. He took pictures and dropped them behind a row of books he never read. It was Dickens's complete collection. He bought them for his first flat thinking they would look good on his shelf and he would get to read them. They did look good, but he had never read them. After that he hauled the boxes down to the trash bin. He couldn't wait tomorrow, or to think where to donate them, he just wanted to get rid of it all.

When he got back into apartment he realised that his flat was empty. He hadn't filled it with his new life, and he did have a new life here, new interests, he was someone new here; someone that did shag his boss and would miss him; someone that did regret some things he missed out on. But like Jack said, that was who he is, his mistakes and the things he'd miss out.

Ianto looked around with a critical eye. His place didn't look like much, but at that time he didn't care for his surroundings, he just wanted to be left alone. Now that Jack wasn't in the Hub he would spend more time here. He could be honest to himself after everything; he stayed in the Hub longer because Jack was there. He rarely spoke to Jack in those times. Ianto sorted archives, cleaned the office area or just updated filed reports, but Jack was there behind the glass and working too, it was some kind of company. Besides he could always do something for him, bring him coffee, demand reports or just clean his office. At some point he could even shag him when he felt like it. And for Ianto it was enough. He didn't feel lonely as long Jack was there at his post.

Ianto went towards his kitchen area and there he decided he had to move out of the flat. The tiles and kitchen cabinets were so distasteful that he couldn't understand how he ever settled for it . With those thoughts he went to his bedroom and started to undress. When he unfastened his tie he realized that Jack was there glued to his eyelids and when he closed his eyes he could picture him sitting on the edge of his bed leaning against the pillow. He felt a strong desire to undress for him and let him do what he wanted with him, to let go. Instead, he changed his evening routine and started to undress from bottom up, socks first. He felt silly; there were no grace or attractiveness in that kind of undressing but it did the trick. Jack was gone from his mind.

Ianto got into bed and wondered how long it would take to expel Jack from his thoughts. Hopefully less then it took with Lisa, and less dramatic. For now he would start with small steps. In the morning he would start to look for a new apartment. He fell asleep making a list of his chores for the day.


	75. Junior researcher

_Hi, here is Ianto we'll stay with him for a while. Hope you'll like it._

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian_

* * *

><p>The following morning Ianto discovered that Tosh hadn't slept the whole night trying to figure out what happened, she didn't know how to accept ignorance. Ianto ushered her out and home. She complied.<p>

After that he was alone in the Hub. Everything was silent, except of humming of technology. For brief moment he felt intimidated, but then he straightened himself up. He knew how to deal with pain, to withstand it. This was just one more loss on the way, nothing more.

Ianto started a new list. List of things they could improve in the Hub. They had finances for that, and now they had a necessary reason to do so. When others came he already had a proposal for a staff meeting. When Tosh returned they listened to him and just nodded without enthusiasm.

"You deal with finances and maintenance anyway" said Toshiko "so we'll leave it up to you. Use as less outsiders as possible; we don't want to Retcon to many people. So back to Jack's disappearance" she turned towards Owen and Gwen and Ianto excused himself.

"So Tea Boy" Owen approached him later "how you're holding up?" His voice was almost polite. Ianto looked down at him and realized he had to deal with this somehow or they would tap around him looking for signs of distress.

"With what?" Ianto replied coldly.

"With your boss gone, and all" Owen waved his hand gesturing towards Jack's empty office.

"He's your boss too." Ianto said sternly. "How are you holding up?"

"Shaky, if you must ask" said Owen with a snort "I thought that listening to Jack was bad, but now I have to report to them."

"I won't have problem with that" said Ianto and turned towards the coffee machine "the head of Torchwood One was a woman."

"One hell of a bitch, if you ask me" Owen smiled and for a moment Ianto wondered if it was possible that Owen had slept with Yvonne. When he thought about it she would rather pick Owen over Jack, although he couldn't really picture Jack anywhere near Yvonne. Now, that he knew more, he thought that Jack would avoid Yvonne at any cost.

"What, Jack had sent you into meetings with her?" Ianto was fishing blindly.

"Every single time" Owen exclaimed "last time I was there she got me so wasted that Tosh ended up playing doctor in that strange London incident, I never saw those aliens, and she couldn't really explain it well. Of course she was able to describe the doctor that she had met to the letter."

"That's what Jack had said last to me." Gwen yelled from the bottom of the stairs. "He said that the right kind of doctor would tempt him to open the Rift."

"What would be right kind of doctor?" pondered Tosh behind her on the stairs.

Ianto cringed inside, he couldn't speak anymore. He started to make coffee.

Of course, he thought, that would explain it all, and it did made sense. Ianto busied himself in the kitchen. He listened what they were saying, and was somewhat surprised. It seemed that they didn't have a clue about the Doctor. The word had no meaning to them; they didn't even know it was a name. It was even stranger considering that The Doctor was Torchwood One's number one enemy, someone everybody knew about; The Doctor that they trained them to hate, and the same that saved them from the Cybermen and Daleks; the same one that didn't save Lisa. It was hard for Ianto to accept that he was the man to whom Jack ran to. That's why he didn't speak up and explain to them what happened and that Jack wouldn't come back. If he left the Doctor, it would probably be in the 51st century that he called home, the place with pheromones and rift manipulators, wrist straps that could tell when you were dehydrated. Last scene came up into his mind uninvited and he couldn't shake image of himself sitting in the chair while Jack unfastened his trousers, his mouth smiling.

Ianto fled to the archives. That brief moment scared him. He was used to controlling his thoughts and emotions; he could hide almost anything from anyone, which was crucial skill for his survival. But up there when he thought about Jack he couldn't shake it off and what was worse he couldn't keep working like nothing is going on. He looked around the front archive room. He used to spend so much time here sorting, searching, and researching. He neglected all that because of Jack. Now he could continue with his reorganizing of the archive bases. They desperately needed it. He decided to start on it right away. The first room took the whole afternoon. He was satisfied with that, he didn't think about anything while he worked.

Ianto smiled while he got up to the main floor. With his moving to another place, sorting archives and repairing damage that Rift caused in the Hub he would be able to work through it all.

Ianto was now ready to tell the others about The Doctor, he could pretend he found it down in the archives, but no one was there. He picked up his ear piece and found out they were out on a mission. The Rift pulled some new stunt. Obviously the Rift didn't care that Jack was gone.

Ianto sat on the Torchwood couch and observed the office floor mapping changes that it would require. While he was at it The Doctor issue pop into his mind and he couldn't shake it. Maybe it was just a coincidence. If it was, Ianto had no need to bring it up. He wasn't really excited to talk about it and walk them through Canary Warf and the Doctor's history with Torchwood One. Come to think of it again, it was really strange that they hadn't heard about the Doctor, or that there wasn't any record of him anywhere, not in the archives, anywhere. Not one picture. Was that intentional? It had to be.

Ianto sat behind the work station and brought up the CCTV footage that Tosh was analyzing. Ianto watched Jack as he ran through corridors, and then over the plaza. Everything he knew about Jack told him that he was excited and happy; he rushed to make it on time. It implied that this wasn't scheduled meeting. Jack was utterly surprised, if Ianto knew anything about how Jack looked when he's surprised. He was yelling on top of his lungs, and that wasn't weak sound. That meant he wasn't bothered that he was drawing attention to himself. He jumped in the last moment that camera filmed. That meant he was quite desperate to catch that someone, possibly the Doctor. Did it mean that the Doctor was running away from Jack? It wouldn't be surprising either. If Jack was the man who couldn't die, Ianto still hadn't gotten used to that notion; he surely would cause problems for the elusive Doctor.

That meant that maybe this was business, another mission, but Ianto didn't let himself feel hope. For Jack business and pleasure weren't exactly mutually exclusive.

Ianto studied Tosh's triangulation in attempt to get footage from the missing scene. Was it accidental that this exact square of space wasn't covered at any angle? Ianto went back a few days trying to find footage of that space, but he discovered that it was a blind spot, never on camera. That couldn't be coincidence. That's why when Ianto searched for the signature of the person that installed CCTV cameras on plaza he wasn't surprised to find Jack's recognizable signature.

After that Ianto gave up on trying seeing that spot, it was covered even from a satellite, there was a white spot in the middle of it all. Instead Ianto started to examine the people that were passing through. He got lucky and followed one of them to the car. He got the number and phoned the man. While the phone was ringing Ianto idly thought how he should have been promoted from junior researcher years ago. When he hung up there were no doubt. Jack has gone with the Doctor. The blue box that disappeared with a man hanging from it had seemed like it had been a neat trick for the witness, a magic show in the middle of a day.

Ianto couldn't help but worry. Jack was on the outside. But Jack couldn't die, he straightened himself up, and The Doctor must be a positive guy, if he interfered with Torchwood plans, he better be.

After others came back Ianto told them that he had talked to the eye witness who saw Jack jumping and disappearing into thin air. He had left out the blue box and the Doctor. Besides his reluctance to talk about the Doctor and Jack, Jack went through all sorts of trouble to hide Doctor and it wasn't up Ianto to betray his trust in him. Ianto began to realize how big of step Jack had taken when he let him in.


	76. Surveillance

_Hi, here is new chapter further into Ianto's dealings with things. I've caught up with my writing so there may be few days before next ch. Hope not too long. Enjoy._

_Spoiler alert: Fragments_

_Beta-ed: TattooedLibrarian_

* * *

><p>The next few days were very neat and organised for Ianto, even by his standards. He had found new place, and boxed his things. In the process he got rid of many things that belonged to his past; his and Lisa's belongings, little things that reminded him of good times. Luckily he hadn't invited Jack into his space, so there weren't any things that would remind him of Jack. Except of his suits, but he couldn't really get rid of those or his stopwatch, his grandfather had left him that watch, he couldn't possibly get rid of that just because he'd used it in some game he made up. It is strange how many things can remind you of some person, random things you never think of. Like bottles of water, he wouldn't trade in his favourite brand of water just to forget Jack. It's not like he's important, not that much. Besides it's pointless to get rid of such small things while he carried on working for Torchwood. If he quit he wouldn't remember anyway.<p>

It's not like Ianto thought of him much, but in the Hub they constantly talking about Jack. It wasn't just enough for them to know that he's gone. They had to know why, where, and how long. It was childish really, Ianto thought, to be so bluntly unaware of the consequences. Jack himself had told them that actions have consequences.

"But why didn't he leave a note" Gwen was talking again "he must have been trapped, or abducted, maybe worse. He wouldn't just leave us like this."

Ianto sighed and headed for the archives again. Down there he could be at peace from Jack. There were cells to be cleaned, Weevils to be fed, and files to be sorted. All of this was far more pleasant then listening to them rambling on and avoiding the obvious answers.

Gwen was inside the Hub when Jack left, she was in the other room, he could have just shouted out and said 'goodbye, I'm off, my ride is here, take care'. The cameras were on he could shouted in them 'I won't be back'; 'I quit', or 'see you soon', he knew Tosh could have easily interpreted that. But he didn't do anything, they weren't on his mind, he just wanted to go, and who could blame him? Ianto couldn't. If Ianto had been the one that was shot at, and then laid in the morgue for days, he sure wouldn't stick around to find what kind of death they could think of next.

In his sorting and updating the archives Ianto was more than efficient considering the time he put into it and that his flat wouldn't be ready for moving for couple more days, and the construction on the Hub hadn't begun yet. That's how he ended up before the almost cloaked doors. He hesitantly pushed them almost expecting a grey blanket on the floor. Of course the room was empty not that was impossible to expect Jack there. He was after all, travelling through space and time, he could literally be anywhere. That made it all the clearer that he wouldn't be coming back. With a time travelling machine he could take a tour around the universe and get back in same minute, nobody would know he was gone. He could just pop up behind them and say 'who's taken me', take coffee from Ianto and start ordering them around. They wouldn't even know how much time had passed for him.

Ianto decided that he wouldn't be so skittish, nor would he expect Jack to pop out of any corner. He straightened himself up and entered the room starting from the first cabinet working his way through the drawers. While he was working he kept his back turned away from that spot in the centre where Jack had almost made him cry. He was satisfied that his mind didn't dwell on it too much, that showed that his self-control was coming back to him.

He was stuck way in the back thinking about stopping for the day when one label caught his eye. He had to crouch down to see it properly; it was on the bottom drawer. The label was slightly brighter than the labels around it. The paper on most of the drawers was faded and yellow from aging. After all this was room with personal files on the Torchwood employees from the turn of the century, 19th to 20th. This part of archives were rarely used, they weren't necessary for lives and deaths those agents, their short lived lives. Ianto wasn't going to spend much time in this room, he was just checking on labels, years, and was making new signatures easier to find in computer file bank. Until this one he had opened just a few drawers to be sure he was on the right track, but this drawer wasn't just different coloured paper, it was obviously younger than its counterparts, but that wasn't what was bothering Ianto. Sometimes labels were disposed of for new ones, but this was just wrong. It said "Northern Expedition". That had no place here. The Northern Expedition files were three levels lower, Ianto hadn't gotten there yet. This was really a mess he thought and he better sort it out now.

Ianto pulled the drawer out and Jack's name caught his attention. He cursed Jack inwardly. Must he be everywhere? There wasn't any place that was safe from him. Of course, Jack could be so old to participate in that expedition. He had no intention of investigating Jack's involvement in such adventure, but then his mind rewound what he knew about the Northern Expedition. Ianto was somewhat interested in whole incident, mostly because he adored the North Pole, and secondly because he was sucker for pioneers, especially so ill advised ones, that had spend months in search for alien habitats underneath the ice. There was no mention of Jack Harkness on that mission, even more; there wasn't that Harkness signature anywhere. No danger, risk, references of staff looks, no wit anywhere, just deadpan tone and official references. Jack wouldn't be caught dead near those. Well maybe dead.

That's why Ianto pulled the first file out and started to read it. He was half way through when he realised what he was reading. They were reports from Torchwood surveying Jack around Cardiff on the end of 19th century.

"First I'm going to kiss the Doctor, and then I'm going to kill him."

"The Doctor he left me behind."

That was enough of Jack's drunken ramblings for Ianto. It did coincide with recent events. Ianto flipped through the drawer looking at the years just brushing through events, not really wanting to know. The whole drawer belonged to Jack, the whole century, and even more was there. He walked through it all; he was that old, maybe even more. Ianto returned to the file he was holding.

"My time vortex manipulator broke" said Jack in the bar, which drew full attention of rather uninterested Torchwood operatives that had been watching Jack and his many deaths. He had deranged death wish.

But obviously the Torchwood operatives had an even worse fascination of death, and ideas how to reach it. Ianto threw down file horrified. Obviously Jack had already been to the Torchwood basement. Thinking about Jack locked away in the vault made Ianto sick.

He felt sorry for Jack, but then a little, fat fictional figure from his teens came into his mind.

"Do not dare to turn my victory into defeat by pitying me, I won." Lord Mark said with furry and Ianto straighten himself up. Jack won, all those people were a long time dead, he outlived them all, and he survived their narrow minded ways of looking at life. He would not appreciate pity thrown his way. That's why Ianto closed Jack's file, tucked it back in the drawer and shut it. If Jack wanted him to know any of that he would have told him. Instead he hid himself behind a false label to turn away any curious investigator and it would have worked, even on Ianto, only if the piece of paper that he used wasn't so white. Ianto took it out to discover the yellow label beneath. "Captain Jack Harkness" it clearly stated. Ianto took that label and went to the typewriter that was held in the main archive room. He turned the label around and typed on the back: Years 1902. - 1906. They were the most uneventful years he could think off, and they also fit the surroundings of Jack's drawer. That way nobody would be tempted to move it. If the drawer was moved Jack would have much difficulty in finding it.

While Ianto placed label in its place, he realized that he believed that Jack would return at some point; probably when all of them were gone. He had that luxury to wait until the right moment. Ianto paused on that thought. Was that what Jack had been doing all this time, waiting for the ride, waiting for the Doctor. When he thought of it like that it sure looked that way.

Ianto had suddenly felt utterly defeated. He didn't stand a chance in any moment. He really was just a passing time distraction. There were no sci-fi quotes that could help him with that so he got up and went left the room. He felt a bit disoriented when he entered main floor.

* * *

><p><em>Quote: Mirror Dance, Lois McMaster Bujold (love her and lord Mark:) This is maybe my favorite quote from her. Don't know if it is correct because it's my free translation from Croatian version.<em>


	77. Freakishly tall

_Hi, I hope you'll enjoy some more Owen inquiries. Thanks to new subscribers, I appreciate when you push that button. If you put few words beside it that won't hurt :)  
><em>

_No spoilers_

_Beta-ed: TattooedLibrarian_

* * *

><p>On the main floor the others were preparing for departure. Gwen was going to be on duty for the night.<p>

"Oh Ianto we've missed you at lunch" said Toshiko "you shouldn't isolate yourself like that."

"There is much work to do" said Ianto but was annoyed with his voice, it sounded to raw and broken.

"Ok mate" Owen stood up determined "that's enough, you're going with us to the pub and we will supervise you while you eat."

"I'm fine" Ianto looked at him steadily but Owen just shook his head.

"Then you won't mind company, we don't want you get another girlfriend and tie her up in the basement."

"Owen!" Tosh was appalled.

"What? It's not like he's not done it before. Except this time it could be a bloke as well." Owen raised his voice.

"Don't worry, it wouldn't be you." Ianto rolled his eyes somewhat relived by Owen's banter, that remained unchanged.

"What?" Owen was undisturbed "I'm not tall enough for you? That girlfriend of yours was freakishly tall too."

"Yeah, that's it." Ianto deadpanned. "Let's get it over with." He sighed.

In the Pub Toshiko and Owen sat across from Ianto. He ate without looking at them. He practically devoured the food. Partly to show there were no hidden depths of sorrow within him, and partly because he was hungry, he had skipped lunch today, and yesterday, maybe even the day before that.

"Glad to see you've built up an appetite" said Tosh fondly when he was done. "We wanted to talk to you about your duties."

"Duties? Was I forgetting something beside lunch?" He wasn't sure, he was so focused these days that things could just pass him by.

"No" Toshiko reassured him quickly "you're perfect like always." Owen snorted at that but didn't comment. "It's just that while Jack is gone our duties will be more demanding. I saw you subdue the Weevils when all went to hell" she giggled nervously on her play of words but she quickly turned back into her new serious demeanour "you were quite effective so I thought you could go out more, as field agent, we could give you some lessons."

"Well I did subdue more than few Weevils, I stopped counting on third sublevel and it wasn't all that hard. Maybe it will do me good to go out more."

"You were just lucky" smirk Owen.

"Owen, you promised you'll behave" Tosh tried to hush him.

"And what, let poor Tea Boy think I've been abducted too and he's surrounded by aliens that snatch bodies. Thinking of that it's time to get a round of beers, there's no point in being sober when Gwen calls for help and she will." He got up.

"Sorry" said Tosh apologetically.

"He is right you know" Ianto said with a smile "I would think he'd been snatched by aliens."

"We would all think that" Tosh chuckled and looked at him curiously "but you're ok, are you?"

"Yes" said Ianto steadily "why wouldn't I be?"

"You know Jack and all" she said with unease in her voice.

"It's Jack" Ianto gave her the look beneath his eyebrows "it's real wonder he did stick in one place for so long." He almost regretted his dismissive words, but he had to settle this down.

"Yeah, Jack" Tosh smiled tentatively "he is something else; I've always had a feeling that he belongs in a bigger picture than Cardiff."

Owen returned with pints for all and just as they took their first sip Toshiko's mobile phone rang.

"It's Gwen Rift alert" said Tosh and got up.

"No way in hell I'm leaving this drink to go chase behind Gwen to find a canister of alien tuna fish. She called you, you go." Tosh stood there for brief moment unsure should she argue with him, reclaim authority.

"I'll go..." Ianto started to get up.

"No" Owen pulled him down "Doctor's orders, you didn't convince me in anything by a few bites, anyone can fake an appetite. You don't want him running around out there emotionally unstable; you've seen him go crazy and aggressive" Owen said to Tosh.

"Unlike you" Ianto deadpanned but Toshiko nodded and went out.

"See I'm useful" Owen turned towards him "I just saved you a cold night out trying to be better than Jack, and that's just plain crazy to even try."

"Who would try that?" Ianto was confused.

"Those two" he waved dismissively towards the door.

"Why couldn't we be better than Jack?" Ianto was uncomfortable with a notion that no one could surpass Jack.

"Please" Owen shook his head with disdain "he can't die, that's advantage that we can't beat in a fight with aliens, who knows how old is he and he looks like hell, apparently he shagged birds back in World War Two, he fights the way he does because he has nothing to be afraid of, and he can shag anyone he set his mind on. Don't want to think about all things he knows and that we're clueless about." Owen concluded his speech with empting his glass "Another one?"

"No thanks" Ianto wasn't comfortable with an idea of losing his clarity in front of Owen.

"Suit yourself Tea Boy" Owen went for another drink.

Ianto was thinking, this time not of Jack, but of Owen. He'd never heard Owen say anything good about Jack, and now when Jack is gone he gives this admittance, turning Jack in an unobtainable deity that could do no wrong. Ianto had feelings towards Jack, the ones he didn't like dwell upon, but he was far from seeing him as flawless, and he highly doubted he could shag anyone he chose to. If Ianto hadn't so uncharacteristically shaken by losses and danger, Jack could never obtain him, in fact he hadn't that had been entirely Ianto's decision. That thought made him feel a bit better. He wasn't played by Jack who was waiting; he presented himself without any question about how deep that could go, he didn't think it could go much deeper, not with Jack.

Owen returned and Ianto watched him closely, the other man did look different now that Jack was gone, he was more relaxed than he ever was, and he was almost polite the whole day. When Jack was around Owen was on wires ready to fight and argue, to defy. Ianto remembered Owen's personal file and almost smile. Even if Owen didn't know how old Jack was, apparently he thought about Jack as father figure that was destined to betray, disappoint, and abandon, now that came true he could easily turn him into a perfect absent male figure like his father was. Ianto realized that it would be easier for Owen to listen Tosh, or even Gwen than he thinks; after all it's natural for him to have leading lady in his life. Diane should have shown that to Ianto, but Ianto wasn't really interested in the obnoxious doctor, maybe Ianto would be able to work with the irritating little twat, like Owen sometimes referred to himself.

"So Ianto" Owen started unaware of Ianto's inner musings "what's deal with you and Jack, will you cut your veins or save some dangerous world destroying alien to get it over with?"

Ianto gave him his 'please' ironic look.

"Over Jack? You said it yourself man can shag anything, you should know." He looked at Owen meaningfully and Owen squirmed under his gaze.

"Bloody Harkness" Owen grunted "you're right, who would cry over Jack, but they were all mental about it, so I had to step in. I'll keep them off your back."

Ianto was almost sorry he had to pull that card on Owen, but he had to get them off that case. He wasn't even sure what this would mean for him, and he wasn't going to have them scooping around it.

"So what do you say about night out, you could use a wingman getting back out there, you could use some bird to get yourself straighten up."

Ianto's eyebrows shoot up.

"But I've got my suit on." He couldn't picture himself out all suited up.

"No worries we'll go to yours and you can get changed, but without any funny business. This is one night offer I'm a solo flyer, birds can get scared off by a tall bodyguard thing you've got going on there." He got up not waiting for response.

Ianto sighed realizing that there wasn't any way out of this. Owen wanted to see him in action, he wasn't fooled by his appearance, and he wanted to test him out. Ianto followed him out thinking that he was good at taking tests; this shouldn't be all that hard.


	78. Bow and arrow

_Ok, here is a chapter where I've shared some of my favorite things, and some Gareth's favorite things to shape Ianto with more detail. I think it's safe to make Ianto sci-fi fan. I know I am so I can give into it, and it's just fun to share legends of sci-fi (reference from Gwen's take on sci-fi was mentioned in one of audio books, maybe Slow decay, I had a need to make note about that). So here goes, have fun. Thnx to new subscribers, and thnx to FriendofMyfawny for missing c. We're on 29th comment now, it would be nice to go into 30's, especially because I'm going on 30. this year :)_

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian (who is starting brand new ff story, it's first published after 15 years, so go and show support to a fellow writer, it's a interesting story)_

* * *

><p>"What the fuck" Owen looked around Ianto's boxed apartment "are you planning on fleeing us? If you have planned to leave the country un-Retconned you shouldn't bring me here."<p>

"I'm just moving to a better looking place" murmured Ianto not really pleased that Owen had seen this part of his coping with things "I've already placed the updated information in my file."

"Of course you did" Owen said absently peering into open boxes.

"I'll be back in a minute" sighed Ianto knowing there isn't much he could do about Owen's snooping around, he wouldn't find anything interesting anyway.

Ianto opened the box with his casual clothes thinking about how rarely he wore it lately. When he came out of his room Owen was standing and reading one of his books, he had taken it out of his sci-fi box.

"You really read this?" Owen said absently "I agree about this with Gwen, before Torchwood sci-fi simply sounded silly and unbelievable, and after it's even more silly and naive."

Owen closed the book and Ianto could see he was holding his copy of Hyperion from Simmons. He would never call that book naive, even after everything that happened. Maybe it all sounded more plausible.

He took it from Owen's hand and placed it back in its spot between The Fall of Hyperion and Herbert's Heretics of Dune .

"I find it relaxing, if I stop doing things that are silly life would very quickly become utterly dull." He closed the box and got up.

"You're right there, mate" Owen looked at him critically "ok you won't scare them away so quickly."

Ianto changed into pair of jeans, black leather jacket and red shirt. Ianto thought he looked quite good in it. Lately he allowed himself more colour in his closet and it seemed like red suited him rather well.

In the club the lights were dim, the dance floor lights were circling and flashing, people were dancing, the music was loud, and alcohol was distributed all around. Ianto felt like he hadn't been in a place like this in ages. His life in the Hub and around suited him better than this chaos. In spite of danger, death, and loss, it had certain calmness about it, the silence of the Hub, humming of the computers, typing of the keyboard, and the whiz of the coffee machine. He felt in his place there. Here he felt his spine tightening and shoulders rising.

Owen gave him a big grin sardonically enjoying in his discomfort. He would not show him just how much he was out of place, or to see him out of control. He used to come to these sorts of places but he was always withdrawn and observant, some people would approach, not the one to engage conversation. He just wasn't that interested in others. Now he'd have to try something else. To achieve that he pictured Jack somewhere in that dim crowded room. He could picture him there; Jack would fit in waving to rhythm of the music. He needed Jack at this moment because he was different sort of man with him. He drew something out of him, something almost seductive, maybe even provocative. When he pictured Jack there he the felt immediate change in his posture. It was like his spine unknotted, his limbs unraveled and he could almost feel the music in them. His face relaxed into something softer. He walked behind Owen towards bar and it was like whole world shifted around him. It was like everyone was looking at him, checking him out, catching his gaze, and to his surprise he smiled back at them.

When they've reached the bar Owen turned towards him and instinctively looked away from him displeased. Ianto was satisfied with that, it was much better than pity.

Next few hours they didn't talk much. Ianto thought Owen was terrible wingman, not that he needed one. While Owen dwelled upon the bottom of his glass Ianto had flirted. It turned out that he was quite good at it. People came and went, taking drinks and they would exchange few words with him. He had gotten lots of compliments on his shirt and jacket but he didn't hook anyone enough to stay. After a while he realized more than few gazes were studying him puzzled. He smiled at that, it was familiar; it used to happen to him a lot. He flirted equally with both men and women and that made people uneasy, they needed to box him. Jack didn't have problem with that, it seemed he was built the same way. Neither did Lisa, she found it charming. Finally, some random woman entered Owen's orbit and in an instant she was hooked on his crooked charm. Owen waved in his direction and they were off.

The minute they had disappeared from sight Ianto felt his shoulders returned in their normal posture. He ordered his first drink of the evening and didn't engage in flirting with next person that leaned next to him. Maybe it was fortunate that Owen and Tosh cut in, he didn't have time to think much. He decided he wouldn't think of it at all.

He sat there drinking beer when he heard familiar rhythm starting to play. Was it near closing time already? It was a song for cooling down the mood. As he turned around he realized that dance floor had cleared. He enjoyed the melancholy guitar and almost weeping voice.

"I'm so tired of playing  
>Playin' with this bow and arrow<br>I gonna give my heart away  
>Leave it to the other girls to play<br>For I've been a temptress too long"

He remembered many times he sung this song voiceless in his room ten years ago. He loved that song. He left his bottle on the bar and went to the dance floor. He was far too old to pretend that he was straight enough to stand in the corner griping his bottle of beer and pretending he wasn't moved by this emotion.

"So don't you stop, being a man" voice sang and he let himself sway in rhythm singing with a whisper changing a verse like he always did "Give me a reason to be a man, I just wanna be a man"

All too soon the song faded away and everything was back to normal, hard songs and bodies filled the dance floor. It was just a little break in the night. He stood unmoved by the new song and looked around. He found more than a couple eyes staring at him, male and female. He could pick any of them, just walk over and it would be a done deal, but he hesitated. If he turned either way there would be demands to make up his mind, to choose a part of himself, and he wasn't in that stable state of mind to hold his ground. That's why he went out of the club and walked home alone. It wouldn't be right to string someone along, when he wasn't available for new engagement. It would be just like with Jack, while he held on to Lisa to the very end. It would be just plain cruel to drag someone else into his mess, and he clearly wasn't over Jack yet.

While he walked the song kept replaying in his mind.

"For I've been a temptress too long" kept catching his attention. Maybe that summarized it, he was a different man with Jack, so different that all he ever showed was a play, nothing real. He didn't offer Jack anything he could hold on to, and Jack hadn't given any promises in return.

He considered now Jack from this new point of view, Jack who had been abandoned, and who had waited for so long. That must have been lonely.

* * *

><p><em>Song used in this chapter is<strong> Glory Box<strong> from **Portishead** and Gareth David-Lloyd has a cover of that song. I love original, and his version brought Portishead back to me, so this is a tribute to both of them. I do recommend that you check it out on you tube (I like this version best: Blue Gillespie at Abergavenny Cycling Fest (21/06/08) Pt 2)_

_Books mentioned in this chapter are:_

_**Hyperion** and **Fall of Hyperion** from **Dan Simmons**_

_**Heretics of Dune** from** Frank Herbert** (last book of original series)_


	79. Missing head

_So, this is some more Ianto time. Hope you'll enjoy it. Thank you paulaloveremus for being my 30. review. It's a nice round number._

_No spoilers._

_Beta-ed: TattooedLibrarian (thank you for support)_

* * *

><p>In the morning the Hub was empty. Tosh and Gwen had gone home as soon as Ianto entered. Apparently they had spent whole night hunting down a multi-part alien around town. Ianto had no desire to go down to the vaults to look at the creature divided into five cells. Tosh had feared that they could reintegrate into one and she thought it might be a vicious creature, but she couldn't say for sure. Of course Owen hadn't returned her calls so everything was on hold until he showed up. On account of the rich brunette Owen took home last night Ianto wasn't expecting him back soon.<p>

He wasn't far from truth because he managed to get a few workers through the Hub before Owen appeared and they had repaired all the windows and even the stairs. It was convenient really that the Hub was empty. The workers seemed uninterested in their surroundings. Without people it seemed like an abandoned warehouse, Ianto mused, an obscure basement of some kind. It was really easy to Retcon people without emotional memories; it took just a hint of substance. They didn't have to fall asleep, it was closer to a blur from drinking than the erasing drug, and he could use those people again, they would vaguely remember him but without some special meaning to it. People had those kinds of memories from all sorts of places.

He would have to schedule reconstruction while the others are away. They have too memorable faces to blend into an unsuspected blur. Gwen with her big eyes, Owen with his cynicism that pours from him even when he's still, Tosh with her razor sharp smartness, those kinds of things would just pop out of the fog itching in the back of the mind, and they would have to scratch it and find those unusual people. Ianto believed that Gwen would have never defeated the Retcon if Ianto had been the one to contact her, there is no way she could have singled him out from all the faces she dealt with every day; his face, or his name. Of course she would remember Jack and his name; it just beacons out 'remember me'. Ianto on the other hand had an ability to blend in. In fact he was rather fond of that quality that he possesses.

The only one that was able to differentiate between him and the wall behind him was Jack. It wasn't strange really, because he was different with Jack than with anyone. He had to force Jack to see him, to accept him, and after he succeeded at that, Jack never stopped looking. It was strange really, on how he impacted Jack; on how much attention Jack sent his way. It wasn't anything pushy or obvious, but the compliments were always there, acknowledgements of his contributions to the team, and he never took his coffee for granted. Even through his terror and sorrow that he went through with Lisa in the months of her being in the basement; it was comforting to be appreciated, to be seen even if he was trying to hide himself completely. Maybe it was because Jack was lonely and, considering how old he was; he could surely see Ianto's solitude.

Owen entered main floor cursing and interrupted Ianto's train of thoughts. Ianto straighten himself up thankful for the entry, he drifted away too easily.

"Oi, where are everybody?" he shouted trying to erase emptiness that was heavily felt inside of the Hub. It was almost like the Hub itself missed Jack, there had simply been a space that wasn't filled; no one was on look out.

"They went home to rest" Ianto emerged and spoke with his normal voice; he wouldn't be intimidated by that void, like any void it would fill out in time. "Apparently they had hunted down some alien parts all night long." There was a hint of accusation in Ianto's voice, he couldn't help it, he would rather be out there helping them with something that unusual and disturbing; than hanging out like he cared about all those people in the club he will never meet again.

"Where it is, it's not on my examination table." He made his way towards the morgue.

"It's still alive, they had to store it into cells, I didn't have a chance to look at it yet."

"What? You were too busy with cleaning and washing."

Ianto opened his mouth to disagree but he changed his mind, it wasn't necessary for Owen to be up to date with his chores, besides it would take out all the fun for the little doctor if he had to start to respect Ianto. Ianto had gotten accustomed to the doctor's banter, he could do the same in return, and it worked. Maybe Ianto wasn't all that straight but he was straight enough not to spill his emotions and thoughts all over the place. That's why he followed that prick Owen to the vaults.

Down there were five occupied cells, in each one part, limb, whatever, that didn't seem fit to function on its own, but somehow it did. For Ianto the most disturbing part was the fact that it had fur. It looked just like a disassembled bear, or something. It was one thing is to see something like it in a cartoon, but this was just wrong. They could even see where the joints should go together.

"Where's the head?" Owen yelled annoyed.

"What makes you certain there should be a head, or that some of these things don't function as a head..." Ianto stopped talking when Owen looked him with his `don't give me that shit' look.

"Where did they found it?" Owen made his way towards main area.

"There weren't any report, guess they'll write it later."

"Figures" Owen mumbled and flipped his phone open. "You call Gwen; I don't want to deal with her drowsy." He said to Ianto while he waited for Tosh. "Come down here now!" was all he said, and just hung up.

Ianto dialed Gwen's number hesitantly.

"Sorry to wake you" he started apologetically when Gwen answered with a barely understandable `what´. "Owen needs you because of that alien thing you've captured." Owen looked him with sneer.

"Too many words Ianto" Gwen mumbled with a sigh "don't worry sweetheart I'll be right there. You won't be alone with him long."

They arrived in record time. Ianto prepared a coffee for them to ease off the sleepiness. Gwen smiled with relief, but Tosh was too preoccupied in withstanding Owen's challenging attitude.

"Yes Owen, what couldn't be said over the phone" Tosh spoke first when they'd gathered in the boardroom. "We've captured a multi-part alien, what bothers you?"

"Where is his head?" Owen started with forced patience.

"You tell me, you're the alien fauna expert, not me." Tosh held her ground, uncharacteristically determined.

"You're no expert, but surely you can tell the difference between a head and a tail" said Owen mockingly.

"What's the difference? Even if we did miss the head, we have its legs here, and what can it do without them." Tosh was angry; she didn't like it when she was caught outside of her expertise.

Owen smiled satisfied and took a moment to enjoy this moment, she was right where he wanted her to be.

"You don't know what it is, do you? Actually it was one of the first things we caught together, but as soon it was in, you lost interest, there were far more important things to do then understand a captured alien." His voice was cheerful.

Tosh tapped her finger on table surface.

"Will you tell us, or not. I know it is the same creature, that's why I called you, our expert, if I was in need of muscles I would call Ianto, not you, and he would answer. Stop gloating and tell us, if you know."

Owen smirked.

"You girls didn't catch anything last night, just spare body parts. Its head is the main part, it has a horn and with it he can turn anything the right size and composition into new limb. Judging by the size of parts down there some of them were people, some maybe dogs, it disassembled when you charged in all blaze and glory. Now we have head on the loose, and if it gets assembled it would be bigger than a grizzly bear, and deadly like a shark, so I don't think you did such a good job, girls."

Tosh looked like she would explode any minute, but when she spoke her voice remained soft and controlled.

"And why are we sitting here chatting, and not chasing after it?"

"Because you girls, didn't leave any note, stick it, or text about where this creature was found, where did you spot it, and most important how did you find it?" His voice was sweet and slow, Tosh looked like she would strangle him. "I wouldn't dare dream to demand a full report like our Ianto here, he actually looked for it; he's pure optimist, isn't he?"

"We'll fill you on the way" Tosh jumped up.

"No" Owen slowly got up.

"What?" Tosh stopped and Ianto feared she would smack him.

"It's a two man job, remember, and don't want to gross you out girls, but given the time since you took its parts, new parts are in the middle of changing process, and it isn't pretty sight, the previous alien found some rats in basement. It was just yucky. And like you said, Ianto is our muscles now, even if I can smack him down with one swing, but he can clean like hell."

"Leave him be Owen" Gwen stepped in finally awake.

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about him so much Gwen, don't be fooled by his innocent face, he's a player. Last night he could have taken the whole club home with him for an orgy. For all I know our fierce leader could have run off because `sweetheart´ tossed him aside. Tosh you'll fill us in on the way, and we will take our ear-pieces so you can see us."

Ianto took his gear, containers, bucket and a mop. He wasn't ashamed of his ability to clean things up. Owen took a wheel.

"I told you that I'd take them off your back" said Owen and ignited engine.

"Yeah, thanks" said Ianto leering at him "that is so much better." Owen laughed.

"Now you'll pretend to be all decent and good, ok, but messing around with Jack took you off of Santa's good list."

They found the alien head in warehouse in Splott, it was surrounded by sticky piles of red flesh, stripes of white of substance, and wet fur that hadn't grown yet. Worst thing was that they could see the shape of things that was converted into alien parts. One small woman, one grown man, a cat and a bird.

"Is the process reversible?" Ianto whispered looking around.

"Only for first twenty minutes, it's too late for them, it's been hours now. Spread out, and watch out for a moving head."


	80. Back leg

_Here is sequel to multi-part alien story. Thank you for reviews and subscribes.  
><em>

_No spoilers._

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian_

* * *

><p>`Moving head` thought Ianto `it would be nice to know what it looks like, or how exactly it moves` but he didn't speak up, he didn't dare to make unnecessary noises, if it was a head it had ears.<p>

As he walked beside piles of crates and boxes he wondered how the alien head had found this place, had it just fallen through the Rift here, or was it intelligent. Intelligence isn't necessary for a good hunt, and this was a good hunter, it had to be in order to obtain new parts for its full shape.

Ianto held his flashlight pointing it to the corners scanning the floor but there were no movements or noise, maybe it was on Owen's end. He reached out for his ear piece when he felt the blow on his head. He fell down on the floor facing down, he rolled over to get away, but before he could get up he felt a pinch on his neck. Ianto managed to get to his knees and hands but then he froze, he wasn't in control anymore, he was stuck.

"Ianto your cam went down, we can't see anything" he heard Tosh's voice in his ear, but he couldn't speak. "Ianto is everything okay?"

"Yes" to Ianto's horror his mouth moved and voice came out, little muffled but understandable, his own voice "my flashlight went dead, but it's okay."

"Shut up girls, you'll give him away" Owen hissed over the line and Ianto felt more than he saw the head turning in the dark towards Owen.

Ianto couldn't do anything, he just stood there helpless. Becoming a part of an alien bear was something he would rather avoid. His muscles remained unresponsive, that was frustrating but he kept trying. That's why he didn't notice the new feeling inside his head. When he stopped screaming silently he realised someone else was there with him in the darkness, he wasn't alone. There wasn't anybody around him, but it was almost as if somebody was chatting near him, barely understandable.

`Was it like this for Lisa` he thought `did she consciously watch her body and mouth do things she couldn't control? Did the cyber part get a hold of her, or was there a part of her that had to watch how her memories were turned against him."

The feeling was terrible. That's why he listened to the murmur that surrounded him, he needed to understand, to find a way. It didn't take him long to discover what were they saying. When he understood his fear grew even bigger. The voices belonged to the people they saw when they entered the warehouse.

They were still conscious, and were chatting like nothing was happening. In fact they spoke about their process of being turned into the alien creature like it was something fascinating and exciting, they were almost completely converted. As soon as they noticed his mind beside them they started to move towards him, anxious for him to join them; at that point the alien mind started to talk to him, filling his mind with information about process and its stages. Very soon Ianto realised why there was no turning back after twenty minutes of exposure to the alien mutagen. It was that long before the alien mind would take complete control over his mind, all barriers would be lost at that time. He could sense how that had already occurred inside the minds of the three other people, the bird, and the dog. They were all inside together intertwined. All of their lives and knowledge had become a part of that alien, that the head controlled them all. He could not only hear barking of the dog, and singing of the bird, he could almost understand them.

Suddenly Ianto felt something scratching in the back of his mind. While he was studying his new surroundings the alien head had already started to crack the walls around his mind, searching information about Owen, his next prey, the last piece of his body puzzle. Against his will the alien played his memories about his quarrels with Owen like it was his own mind searching for weaknesses.

Ianto took a risk of being fully converted by lowering the walls of his mind, Ianto charged towards that foreign sensation searching for a new mind; maybe there he could find something that could help Owen.

"Why do you bother" he felt that new mind wondering "as far as I can see, that man is your enemy, not a friend, wouldn't it be good revenge if he spent rest of his days glued to your backside?"

Ianto could see the map of new body that alien creature, Mountholer, was building for himself. Ianto should be spine of that creature. The big man, Alen, would be attached to Ianto belly to belly and become the abdomen. The child, Sara, would be the front left leg, and the dog the front right leg. The bird was already a functional neck, and the small woman the left back leg, all that was needed was Owen for the right rear leg.

It wasn't really Ianto's idea of a pleasant life, being tied to Owen by his back. He could think of much better company than that.


	81. Good spine

_No spoilers._

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian_

* * *

><p>Ianto could sense Owen's approach through Mountholer's mind. It was excited, Ianto could clearly see that. The creature has seen enough of Ianto's mind to know what the little Doctor could do, and all the knowledge that Ianto possessed was almost in reach for him, he would be more powerful than ever, and smart enough to handle this world. His previous victims were ordinary people that were confused by this creature and its questions. That was limiting experience, but having Ianto and Owen for himself he would know exactly where to look and where to hide. And the Hub, Mountholer could now see it in Ianto's mind, was perfect hide out, much better than this one.<p>

Ianto was growing desperate by creature's ability to toss and turn his mind without his permission, and it would only get worse once the wall came tumbling down. Mountholer was so close that Ianto could see the picture creature was seeing. Owen was sweeping the floor with his flash light searching for the moving head, not looking up. But the head was above Owen, moving beside him on top of crates, Ianto could sense its movements, although he didn't know yet how it is done. It wasn't flying; there was a sensation of wooden bumps of the crates.

Ianto suddenly realised that Owen was moving his way, he was bait, the doctor would run to his side, kneel down and then Mountholer would strike him in the back without even a return blow. Ianto could feel his own mouth preparing to speak, calling out for help, he could see the words in his mind, cry for help that would bring the doctor running. Mountholer waited for the right moment so Owen didn't get any time to think.

Ianto struggled but it was in vain, he wasn't his own, and the creature had his full attention on the doctor. To his horror Ianto could now see from the corner of his eye rest of his new body approaching all joyful. What could he do? What Jack would do? He would surely think of something and not just sit there helpless. All the images of Jack replayed in his head, but luckily Moungholer didn't notice, he was preoccupied holding the words in Ianto's head, he was merely a tool. That reminded Ianto of Jack's smile when he ran off to talk to Tosh, before everything. Jack running, he could at least enjoy his memories before they weren't his own anymore. He hated the thought that he would be sharing them with Owen till death tore them apart. Well at least the doctor wouldn't be able to enjoy it much. Jack smiling, he ought to smile a lot more. Maybe he was smiling now.

`Please, Owen help me` the thought was ready and Ianto smirked in irony, he would avoid that sentence if he could, it was not like him at all. That caught Mountholder's attention.

`What would you say?` he demanded through the walls that still were between them. When Ianto didn't respond Mountholder started to rewind all his memories of stressful situations. It was over in a flash. His father, arrest, the first day at Torchwood One, Lisa being converted, the confrontation with Jack, dragging Lisa in the Hub, punching Jack, the cannibals, Jack's death. It stopped there suddenly concerned with the small man before him. Maybe he was small but he could kill, he couldn't afford mistakes. The Creature knew Ianto was right, he wouldn't plead, he hadn't in any situation before, and they were even worse than this one. Although Mountholder didn't think it was something unpleasant, being a part of him.

`You will be a good spine` he told Ianto `maybe best one yet because you don't bend easily, and you will love it once you let go off your old self, it only brought you pain anyway. So help me or you're dead anyway, there is no going back from this`

It wasn't all pain, thought Ianto to himself thinking of the good times with Lisa, and it wasn't all consuming Jack kneeling before him pop in his mind, unbuckling his trousers. That gave him idea, but he kept himself quiet. If ever there was a time to have control over his thoughts this was the time. So he cleared his head and just repeated that moment of Jack unbuckling his belt, he let his solitude wash over him at the sight, then he just added his catch phrase, `right then`. He prayed silently it would work.

Mountholder wasn't convinced; it looked like strange request so he asked the other two people that couldn't lie to him anymore, that couldn't hide.

`No, it is strange request` said the women, Sandra.

`I don't understand` said Sara.

`Don't be naive, it's all normal now, two grown man in a warehouse searching for each other in the dark. Of course he would say that, if nothing to mess around with the other`

Mountholder was satisfied with that answer because he saw in Ianto's mind that they did fight and throw words at each other. It was time, and Mountholder made his decision.

"Right then" Ianto's mouth said "Owen, help me put my trousers up."

Through Mountholder's eyes he could see Owen freezing.

"Ianto you wanker" he said with mock in his voice then suddenly lifted his gun and flash light up right. Mountholder realised his mistake and threw himself towards Owen. Owen threw himself on the floor and rolled over avoiding the spiked horn. He jumped to his feet but Mountholder was already charging towards him. Owen jumped over Ianto and Mountholder's head; once again it hit Ianto in the side. This time the head did feel that pain and it was distracted it for a split second, which was all Owen needed; he fired his gun and shot Mountholder right in his forehead just above its horn.

It died instantly but for Ianto that moment seemed like an eternity. He could feel creature's death like it was his own, worse yet he felt how other the three people, the bird and the dog were dying too, slower, with desperation and anger. Ianto held on to his memories trying to ignore their pain. He concentrated on the moment he laid on the blanket and felt like crying. It was dark, just like now, but it was peaceful and he felt so alive, maybe his sorrow made him alive. He should have cried then, not to make things different, but to live through that moment fully. He could barely breath, his mind wasn't over his control, and soon he would pass out.

"Alright mate" Owen was still by his side "This will sting and unfortunately I will have to pull down your trousers."

Ianto felt Owen stabbed a needle in his behind, it stung, but after a minute he felt his arms unlock and he fell to the floor with a sigh of relief.

* * *

><p><em>Please review, I would love to know what do you think of my attempt at monster-of-the-week theme, did it work? :)<em>


	82. Greenhouse

_Hope you'll enjoy this one, a bit team time._

_No spoilers_

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian_

* * *

><p>"Your luck is that I know you wouldn't let me anywhere near your pants if they weren't on fire, or if you would be paralyzed like just now. Nice one." Owen smiled and moved over to the dead Mountholder.<p>

"Is the alien dead, be careful" Ianto could hear Toshiko in the com "it scared the shit of us, how could it move so fast?"

"See Tosh, I am a gentleman" Owen mocked her "It wouldn't be very nice to let you in this mess. The head is dead."

"Mountholder" gasped Ianto.

"What?" Owen turned baffled.

"His name was Mountholder."

"Oh it had manners; it introduced itself after it stung you." Owen moved towards other parts.

"Don't bother, they are dead too" Ianto sat up feeling dizzy.

"Owen" Toshiko yelled through the line "we have a Rift alarm."

"Go ahead, there's no danger here anymore." He took his earpiece from his ear. "We should clean this up."

"I'll get body bags." Ianto got up and swayed a bit.

"You should rest." Owen demanded.

"No, I've been still long enough, I need to walk." Owen nodded and they got on with it.

Soon the warehouse was clean and they were off.

"Jack was right about you, you know." Owen started when he stopped at a red light.

"About what?" Ianto stared straight through the window.

"You are ready for the field, you handled yourself well today."

"Not very well, I nearly got converted into an alien body part." He wasn't ready to accept that recognition.

"But you didn't get converted, and that's all that's count. I studied the compound that creature uses to kill and convert, it's a real wonder you managed to fight it long enough to warn me."

"I didn't fight it, I just tricked it, and apparently I'm good at that."

"Anyway it worked, and Jack was right, you are ready to be a field agent."

"Jack said that, did he?" Ianto couldn't imagine that.

"You didn't know? I was convinced he'd done it just to get into your pants, but he clearly didn't need to."

"You're quite fond of talking about my pants" Ianto glared at him.

"You've started it, for a second I thought you were serious."

"As that would happen" Ianto smirked.

They parked.

"But we can let girls think it's their idea to make you a field agent, Tosh needs some feeling of power, and that was her first decision. No need to tell them Jack already had promoted his Tea Boy."

"I wasn't aware that he did." Ianto decided to ignore Owen's familiar banter.

"Bloody Harkness, he doesn't tell us anything. Like I always wondered why he took you in, when you were so green and timid, of course he was proven right in time, but how did he know?"

"I mauled a Weevil and caught a pterodactyl, but I think it was the coffee."

Owen laughed and took Sara and the dog in his hands.

"That sounds about right."

Ianto left Owen with Mountholer in autopsy bay and went to brew some coffee and check on Tosh and Gwen.

Later on they gathered around in the board room. Tosh sat at the head of the table and Ianto thought about how small she is, how anyone would be small sitting there after Jack. It seemed she knew that because she tried to sit straighter and look all focused but there was the feeling like Jack was pacing behind her, or just standing in the corner with his arms folded around his chest.

"We've found only plants this time" she said.

"Bloody heavy ones" Gwen added "We could use some man power. They seem harmless but you should take look before we incinerate them." Owen looked at the plants on the desk.

"Ok, maybe. I found the ingredient to form a vaccine against Mountholer, after today I would feel a lot better if I had more of that stuff."

"Agreed" said Toshiko "What did you find out about the creature?"

"Well" Owen got up and turned on the display, Ianto turned away from the sight of the half converted bodies, Gwen covered her mouth.

"For fuck sake" Gwen cursed, "Ianto honey it's nice to have you back" she squeezed his hand.

"There is not much to say, I already knew most of things about it from the previous encounter, but that alien was clearly disoriented and near death because it moved slow and without purpose. From first examination I've concluded that the creature moves like snail; its joints serve not only to connect into his full form, but also to move parts separately in crawling linear fashion."

"It was nothing like snail, it attacked like..." Gwen interrupted him.

"Like a cobra" Owen changed picture "On the links there are little hooks that I thought only served as a attaching technique, but it turned out that it serves for moving, so the creature can, like snail, move in all sorts of directions, and jump, like a cobra, with great speed and range."

"So Ianto" Gwen turned towards Ianto "did you start to peel off your slough yet." Tosh laughed.

"Maybe he only got the snail part of the process, because he was moving pretty slow" added Owen with a smirk and Gwen laughed.

Ianto smiled, it was first real laugh the team shared since Jack left.

"Now seriously," Owen continued "about the people inside of the parts, they were too far gone. There is not enough of DNA left for proper tests, and their features are completely gone, even their teeth are dissolved, so unfortunately they will stay missing."

Ianto cleared his throat.

"In fact I took the liberty and gathered information about all three of them, and came up with cover stories that will be unsuspicious by their life style. I just need to make phone calls." He pushed files towards Toshiko.

"How in hell did you do that" Owen leaned forward.

"Well I know everything" he said and was cut off by their laughter.

"I almost believe you do Ianto" said Gwen and Ianto decided to suppress rest of that sentence.

He didn't want to ruin the mood with whole explanation how he was linked to those people inside Mountholer's brain, how he knew just who to call and what to say. He would put it all in a report so they could read it if they want. Of course without Jack's part in the story.

"It looks good Ianto" Tosh returned files towards Ianto "make the calls."

Owen approached plants which looked almost familiar.

"Some more veggies on the menu" he murmured to himself and Ianto got an idea.

He looked around.

"You know" started Ianto and everyone looked at him, his voice was strong although he rarely used it "about the plants, maybe we don't have to burn them, wouldn't it be useful to have some alien herbs to study and better understand its humanoid or animal counterparts. Or even to have for vaccines if necessary."

"It wouldn't be bad at all to have them around, but we don't have the space."

"Look around" said Ianto "isn't this a perfect room for a greenhouse. We are redecorating, so why not do something different. The Hub would look better, and the air would be better, less moist, and we have all seen what happens to these glass walls in a small earthquake. It makes me uncomfortable just looking at them."

They all looked at glass windows and silently agreed.

"But what about light" asked Gwen.

"I could think of something" Tosh said with a smile, her eyes were distant like she was already solving the problem.

"And the board room" asked Owen.

"There is that long unused storage room on the right, just outside of the office area" Ianto smiled and shrugged his shoulders.

"He really does know everything" smiled Tosh. "Make it so."


	83. Public disturbance

_I've must have done something good because for the last chapter I've received allot of new subscribes and even a new reviews. So thank you all, it's much appreciated. Especial thanks to my betas and paulaloveremus for cheering, it does help with writing. I hope you'll keep enjoying. There is two or three Ianto chapters more and then we're off to Jack's running._

_No spoilers_

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian_

* * *

><p>In the following days Ianto moved to his new place and started decorating the place to look like somebody actually lived there. He put an armchair with reading lamp because he had started to read through his sci-fi collection. He discovered that moves away the edge from his daily routine, and after the experience with Mountholer he couldn't help but think of Jack that could never die trapped inside of such a creature. That's why he needed to dive in fiction and believe there was some beautiful creatures somewhere out there, not just the monsters that came their way. There must have been, Jack came from future and run towards it, there must be some hidden beauty that he wanted to see again.<p>

He bought a new sofa and big TV screen determined to indulge in ordinary things like watching series and the news. There was still a world out there and he would not miss it out locked away in the Hub.

He even filled his kitchen with the necessary dishes, pots and cutlery. After that he invited Rhiannon and the family for dinner. It seemed like proper way to start things over with his sister. When he made the calls to inform Sara's family of her demise, he couldn't help but think how that call would have gone when Owen, or more likely Gwen, would have made it to his sister, how would she feel? She would have felt like he had gone holding a grudge against her. He never resented her for anything, the things that their father had expected from a son, wasn't her fault. He knew she felt guilty being the one that watched from a side, but he was never able to vocalise that in the words. With her he was even more closed up and clumsy than with anyone, but that couldn't be helped. She needed just to look at him with her sad and knowing eyes and he would immediately felt his spine tighten, and his stomach became stuffed with feelings he would never disclose.

The dinner went well only because Jonny talked nonstop. Rhiannon was satisfied just studying him. The children watched the new television during the meal. Ianto thought it to be a huge success. They didn't even quarrel. Only at the exit Rhiannon grabbed his hands and said something about Lisa and she could tell he still hurt, and how it would pass. He just nodded and closed the door. He stood there for a moment and then went to the shelf with Dickens and reached for the photographs that he stuffed behind it after he unpacked everything. He looked at her face briefly and put them back. He wasn't suffering because that anymore, but he still had missed her being a phone call away. She was the one he could always call, she would have been even if things happen differently and she survived just to leave him.

Field work turned out to be his cup of tea, so to speak, he concentrated on the right kind of weapons and equipment, and so even in his new role he was on the ground supporting the rest of them. In the Hub things began to look differently with new greenhouse taking shape. The new board room turned out all right, and Jack's shadow wasn't so big in it.

"There is a man in the station that keeps screaming" said Gwen tiredly "they say it's unbearable. They found him on the bridge few hours earlier; his prints are not in the system. Tosh, is there something odd about the time they've found him?"

Tosh typed on the keyboard.

"There was a Rift spike, but no alien residual energy, only human's patterns there."

"So Rift did burp but didn't spit out anything this time" said Owen "that's a relief."

"That happens sometimes but Jack checks it anyway, there is usually nothing to report though." said Toshiko biting her lip.

It wasn't easy thing to decide when to send out someone when they could be in over their head with some vicious creature.

Ianto's phone rang. He picked it up.

"Hello, I'm trying to reach Captain Jack Harkness but he's not answering, he listed this number as a contact for emergencies like this one" said deep male voice.

Ianto felt goose bumps on his skin but his voice reminded calm.

"This is Ianto Jones how can I be of service" he said in his formal voice.

Rest of the team turned and looked at him.

"We have here man who was brought in for public disturbance, shouting very loudly in fact. We couldn't get anything out of him, but few moments ago he stopped screaming and introduced himself as Jonah Bevan. I know that is impossible because the only Jonah Bevan we know is 17 years old and had gone missing a few months ago. But this lad is over forty. Anyway in the file with his name it did say to contact Captain Jack personally if anyone with that name turns up, no matter what he looks like. So, can you help me? We really can't stand this screaming which has started again."

"Don't worry" said Ianto calmly and with a smile for the team not showing anything of his inner thoughts "I'll be right over and take it off your hands."

"What was that?" Owen said suspiciously.

Ianto held his breath and smiled even widely.

"Nothing really, I forgot some of Jack's clothes at the dry cleaners. I'll go fetch it. And Tosh, that police station is on my way; I can look at that screaming man just in case."

"That would be lovely Ianto" she said with a smile of relief.

"Clothes? Really?" Owen was frowning.

"It is a part of my chores, I was a bit distracted so I forgot, it happens even to me." Ianto said calmly and put his phone to his pocket.

"Of course you forget, it would be inhuman if you didn't, but why to bother with it? It's not like he's left a note saying he's coming back. Leave it there, be a bad boy for once." Owen smirked at him.

"You fill that picture much better than I do. Tosh, I may have to do some personal errands', if I can do them this afternoon, I can take tonight's shift" he looked ordinary; nothing showed that it was an important request.

"If Gwen is ok with that" Tosh turned to her.

"Great, Rhys will love it" she smiled and Ianto was off.


	84. Water the plants

_One more Ianto chapter after this one and then we're off to Jack's running. Thank you for wonderful reviews, it's nice to receive them. Here is some angst ahead.  
><em>

_Spoiler alert: Adrift_

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian_

* * *

><p>In the station one look was enough to be sure Jonah Bevan should go with him to Flat Holm. It was the way he looked, the same thing that others residents of Flat Holm had, he looked alien, displaced and utterly lost while his mouth produced that unearthly sound.<p>

"Yes" sighed Ianto "I'll take him, he is one of our... patients. I will have to sedate him to transport him to our facility, I'll need a trolley."

"We don't..." older officer started to talk but Ianto looked him with confusion on his face and the other man stopped himself "we'll get some sir." Ianto entered in the cell amused with that `sir` it was provoked by his position and secrecy of Torchwood, but it wasn't all that, part of it was the suit, without it they wouldn't respect him at all, he would just seem too young.

Jonah didn't even react when Ianto took a needle out; his eyes weren't looking at this moment in time and space. Ianto stung him in his forearm but even then there was no reaction. It took a few seconds and Ianto began to wonder if the medicine would have an effect on him, but then Jonah stopped screaming, looked at Ianto's face and slumped down on the bench. Ianto stood there looking at the unconscious body wondering how it looked when they'd found others, how did Jack feel looking at them all broken down. After few minutes the officer returned with a trolley, he had to warn Ianto to his presence as he was so lost in thought.

"Just roll it in" he said and with their help put Jonah on it; while he pushed Jonah towards his car Ianto thought that at least this time he's transporting live casualty, not just a body.

When he loaded Jonah in Ianto's car officer required his signature on the release form.

"No" said Ianto with certainty that Jack would never leave that kind of trail behind him "no records, just delete the incident like drunk man that sobered up, we don't need to follow up on this one, and next time, don't be so careless and call around, you were one step from alarming that kid's mother, that wouldn't be very nice to raise her hopes like that."

"We wouldn't do that." The man stepped back.

"No, you've just wanted to get rid of screaming man, I understand" he deadpanned and climbed in the car.

"Tosh" Ianto called in when he had parked on the docks "I've been to the station, nothing alarming, just some mental patient; they've found where he belongs."

"Thank you" she replied "we have to run."

Ianto stared at the water for awhile, he wasn't in a hurry; he didn't think, he just stood there. Marianne jumped from a boat and immediately leaned to examine Jonah. They loaded him on the boat and Ianto went with them across the water. In the middle of the bay Jonah wake up and continued his scream. Ianto and Marianne weren't disturbed by it; it was more than a normal thing to do after everything he'd been through.

Ianto stood and watched while they examined him and made his personal file. When he was in his room Marianne wrote with a chalk his name on the door and closed it.

"We'll let you know when he starts to talk." She said to Ianto.

"Of course" Ianto winced "do you need anything more?"

"The supplies you sent are fine, only Jack hasn't been coming over, is everything ok?"

"Oh, Jack is otherwise engaged at the moment" Ianto didn't have the heart to tell her he was off and left them behind "I'll be dropping in instead, how often he visited you?"

"Well one or two times a week, of course it was the most unusual time, in the middle of the night." She smiled and he smiled back at her.

"Of course he did, I will be coming in evenings after work hours."

"See you then." She handed him Jonah's file and he took it without commenting that he had no idea where to put it. It wasn't in his file archives so it must have been somewhere in Jack's office. Luckily there was signature on the cover so it shouldn't too hard to find it.

When he was back on the shore it was already dark and time to get back to the Hub. He picked up a pair of his suits from drycleaners just in case somebody was still at the Hub. They wouldn't look too hard at his bags.

Gwen was there and jumped up when he entered. She looked at him like she wanted to ask something but wasn't sure about it. He smiled at her.

"Just let me put these away" he said and went to Jack's office. He was thorough in all of his cover stories so he opened up Jack's man hole and went down. There was a smell of Jack still there; he would have to let the air in from time to time. He hung his suits in the closet and went up.

"Ianto you believe he'll come back, don't you?" Gwen asked when he entered the kitchen to brew some coffee. Ianto frowned and made his hands busy with coffee making. His hands knew the routine, this new coffee machine was good, but he still had missed the old one that had broken in the earthquake.

"Ianto?" she asked again with uncertainty in her voice when he didn't replay.

He turned to her looked her face before turning back to the machine. Maybe he should be honest with her and share his thoughts about the subject, she did care about Jack after all and it would be better for her if she stopped waiting.

"I do believe he will return, but not in our lifetimes" he answered with flat voice pouring coffee into a travel mug.

"What? How do you mean?" Gwen was bewildered.

Ianto turned towards her with a cup in his hand.

"Well he can't die, he is old, so he could pop up later on, and his things are still here." He pointed towards Jack's office, Ianto had half expected those things to have disappeared with the blue box when nobody was looking, but they were still there, nothing had been moved.

"Things Ianto? What about us, he can't just leave us like that" she was stunned, Ianto looked at her under his eyebrows thinking to himself `really`.

"Well for start, we did kill him, it seems like fair enough complaint" he smiled softly looking unfazed while Gwen looked more and more furious.

"He can't die, so that doesn't count" she argued.

"I bet it hurts anyway, it didn't look pretty" he shrugged his shoulders.

"He's used to it, that wasn't a big deal, he does that all the time" she paced around.

"I wouldn't know" said Ianto and handed her full cup, she took it and stopped.

"Oh, sorry Ianto, I didn't think..." he smiled remembering how often she apologizes.

"It's ok, but I think it did change some things for Jack, all of us knowing about him" he tried to explain it to her.

"No it's irresponsible to leave us with all this junk, we're lost with everything, that thing almost got you and Owen, what would happen to us then? He can't just abandon us like this" she yelled now and Ianto realized she couldn't see things his way.

"Speaking of junk, did anyone water the plants" asked Ianto pointing towards the Greenhouse.

Gwen looked up confused by changing the topic.

"No, I don't think so" she said carefully "I can go and..."

"No" Ianto cut her off with determination "you should go, I'll put it on my list of chores so there won't be any danger in overwatering them. I've made the coffee less strong just to keep you awake while you're driving, but not to keep you up all night."

She looked at her mug and Ianto turned to pick up watering can.

"Thank you Ianto, you're sweetheart" he smiled at her.

"I do my best."

She nodded and left.

Ianto paused after the Cog door rolled and closed. Should he react like that and be mad at Jack? Maybe that's what normal people do; they are not like him to wait for everyone to leave sooner or later. He shrugged it off and went to water the plants.

* * *

><p><em>Just to say that this bit left me feeling sad.<em>


	85. Bed issue

_So here is last Ianto bit for now, some decision making on his side. Then we're off with Jack, out of the Hub, hopefully I'll manage to go through dr who episode without falling out of trail. Thank you for wonderful new reviews it is really something great in receiving such energy for this fun I'm having while writing this._

_Spoiler alert: Adrift_

_Beta-ed: TattooedLibrarian_

* * *

><p>He felt safe inside of the greenhouse. It was funny really, but it just didn't look like the rest of the Hub and there weren't any signs of Jack in there. It had only been finished for a few days and it already began to look green. Ianto busied himself with grooming the plants for a while.<p>

When he was done with that he finally entered Jack's office to look for a place for Jonah's file. Ianto was puzzled because he had already cleaned up whole office area and the workers had rebuilt most of it, but he hadn't come across any filing systems he didn't know. Well, Jack surely didn't want anybody to know about it so he must have hid it somewhere unexpected. Ianto's gaze fell on the open hole of Jack's bedroom. No, not down there, it wouldn't be convenient, and Jack wouldn't take something like that near his bed. But Ianto remembered that there was a part of the ceiling that was lower than the rest of the room, Ianto noticed it while he was...

Ianto shrugged off that thought and turned to the corner of the room looking for a crack in the floor. Ianto smiled when he found it in the corner where the wall and floor meet each other. It opened with a click and in there were files, two rows of them. It wasn't hard to find Jonah's place among them. Ianto discovered that there already existed a sheet with Jonah's personal data. Jack had expected him; there was all the information about his disappearance. Ianto opened it and read the file. Inside was a picture of young Jonah with his mother. Also there was an interview with her. Ianto was moved and sadden; she loved her son very much. Ianto felt the burden in the fact he knew what happened to her son.

Ianto sat on the floor and considered his choices. There was the choice to tell her everything, or to keep her in the dark. Of course there was a choice to tell her and if she reacts badly Retcon her, but Retcon was tricky, and people had different ways of coping with memory loss. In such a big and emotional case Ianto doubted that Retcon would be completely efficient. He knew what Jack would do, he wouldn't say anything, but he wasn't here and this was Ianto's decision.

While he looked at their picture he tried to imagine the outcomes of both scenarios. If he told her she could cope or not. If not, that's obviously bad, but if she does is that good. Ianto compared the boy in the picture with the ruined, burned, hairless and lost man he found today. That wasn't something she could ever get over, she loved her son, and she would forever regret a man he never was, the years that were stolen, the pure injustice and randomness of it all. If she could cope she would take care of him, but in what Ianto saw today there wasn't much she could offer him. How her life would change, all meaning would be different. Ianto now considered Lisa and what Jack said, that not many people would be able to care for her. Once Ianto knew her destiny there wasn't going back, not for him, but he wouldn't wish that kind of destiny for anyone. This one was even worse because there wasn't any hope that Jonah would return in his previous state.

If she didn't know she would be just one more mother who lost her child, and no matter how horrible that was, it was something that did happen, that she could share and leave behind in time. She could even have some small hope that he was safe wherever he is. Ianto would give anything if he could imagine Lisa safe and happy somewhere out there.

Ianto closed Jonah's file and put it back in its place.

There were more files than Flat Holm residents. Ianto browsed through them briefly just to find out that some of them were dead and the rest of them belonged to the people that weren't back, at least not yet. Ianto closed the lid.

After that he cleaned the Hub, there wasn't much time for that lately. He ordered a pizza; he couldn't afford to get skinny, not with Owen observing him for signs of madness. When he was done there wasn't anything else to do. The Rift alarm was quiet, machines were buzzing, and his eyes were heavy. He could make himself one more coffee and go to the archives but the day was so long and hard. If the Rift alarm went off it would wake him up. He took off his jacket and lay down on the sofa. He tossed and turned but there wasn't a way for Ianto to be comfortable on it. Maybe Owen and the girls could sleep there but Ianto was just too tall. It was torture and he would be even more tired if he tried to sleep on it. They really should have beds in the Hub for night shifts that were quiet, with Jack around there hadn't been any need for that. Thinking of it, there was one bed in the Hub and it wasn't like Ianto hasn't slept in it before. He hesitated briefly. If Owen, Gwen or Tosh went down there it would most definitely be weird, but if he slept there it would be considered sentimental. If they by chance found him there, he could live with sentimental, especially if that meant a good night of sleep.

Ianto adjusted the alarm to loud and went to Jack's office. He went down the ladder and was in Jack's room. He stood there feeling awkward. He inhaled deeply and then held his breath as Jack's scent attacked his senses. Damn Jack and his pheromones, he just had to dash out so cheerful and careless, it would be better for him if he was enjoying himself, because Ianto would be quite mad at him if he ran off just to be miserable and die again. Ianto exhaled slowly and let go of that feeling. Here he was, he would sleep and would not bother much with fact that this was Jack's bed. If he decided to pop out now Ianto would just punch him and carry on. Not because he was angry, but just because a man has to keep a certain dose of dignity in these kind of situations. Especially if you're caught in your boxers, which Ianto was because he didn't want to crumple his trousers.

Ianto sighed and slid into bed. When he covered himself he discovered that Jack was using that same gray blanket on his bed. Ianto smiled at that notion and wrapped it around his shoulders suddenly feeling comfortable in this place. While he was falling asleep Ianto remembered Jack's musings about beds spread across the Hub. That would have been awfully suspicious with Jack around, but without him it could just pass as normal, knowing they would have to take over night shifts. Before sleep took over, Ianto took mental notes about convenient places for camp beds. He could even put one in the archive room with personal files from 19th century. Jack would find that most amusing, and it would be a way to send a small note that says `I'm not angry, I just miss you`. With that thought sleep took over Ianto as he buried his nose in the pillow.

* * *

><p><em>We'll let him sleep briefly.<em>


	86. Running

**So off from Ianto's warm bed to cold mud of Jack's recent death. It was a hard leap, especially because presence of the Doctor makes writing intimidating, but I've put my coat on and run into it. I'm not sure will I manage to pull off Doctor and be believable at it.** **Here is some Jack musings about the past and present. Thank you for reviews they do cheer me up :)**

_Spoiler alert: Utopia, Parting of the Ways, Fragments, Exit Wounds  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian_

* * *

><p>Jack woke up with a gasp in a strange place with a beautiful dark woman holding his hands.<p>

"And who are you" was the first thing he'd ask. The woman laughed and looked even more delightful. He introduced himself feeling more like his old self. Of course the Doctor couldn't stand it. Who else would have prohibited him from saying hello. He stood up and faced the strange and different looking Doctor he'd seen on CCTV footage over the years. In person the Doctor had looked hotter than ever. The Doctor wanted to know what was his give away and he was standing right next to the Tardis, really a funny question, but even if he had been oblivious to the Doctor's new look, he would recognize him because he did mind Jack's greetings, people who would first met him never would mind his hello, even the Doctor didn't mind it the first time. They looked at each other with caution for few seconds but that couldn't last. Jack asked about Rose and the Doctor immediately softened down and cheered up. Jack was so happy that she was fine; he'd been grieving her loss for months. He crushed into the Doctor's arms laughing with relief, he was here, finally things would make sense, and he had to know.

The reunion with the Doctor went with great deal of disappointment, pain and joy. The Doctor just seemed off, there wasn't that light cheerfulness he possessed when Rose was around. He had pointed that out and the Doctor turned on them at the mention of her. It was hard to take, his anger and pain that was there somewhere, Jack knew to recognise that. Time went on for the Doctor too and he had changed as did Jack.

Luckily after that was the time to run and Jack felt the excitement of running after Doctor. He just loved that. Jack was excited to meet new people and aliens; it had been too long since he traveled the universe freely.

"Later blue" he winked at the giggling cute alien he wouldn't mind exploring and went to help the Doctor. Sure he had forced himself on the Doctor, jumping on board literally. The Doctor tried to run away again, Jack knew enough about the Tardis to know he must have been aware of his approaching; he had spent enough time in there to know thing or two about it. The Doctor lied so weakly about leaving him the first time but Jack didn't persist, he would find out soon enough. But that didn't change the fact he was here for the Doctor, not some random strangers. Jack had enough time to sort his feelings towards the elusive alien. He'd been through all sorts of emotions from anger to self-pity, sorrow and hope to end up in sober solution. The Doctor cared about him, but not enough to deal with whatever happened back on Satellite 5. Jack couldn't blame him for that, if he had stayed, Jack couldn't tell if he would have coped with it any better than he had alone. And he wasn't pleasant company while he was dealing with his immortality. Jack didn't really hold a grudge against the Time Lord for leaving him, at least not until he found out that his returning from the dead wasn't one time thing.

When he woke up that first time to the dust and silence of his dead companions and the sound of the disappearing Tardis he thought it was a dumb stroke of luck and that he imagined the darkness that surrounded him in his death. The pain of the Doctor leaving him behind was just that, pain of loss, of solitude that was again his. After he went rogue from the Time Agency and left his devious partner behind, he roamed alone searching for scams, for profit and a way to squeeze himself in some comfortable place before he thought of a new way to reach Gray. Gray was his sole goal in life, the only meaning and it had no other guidelines attached to it. He thought a wrist strap and the Time Agency would take him to the point where he could find a young Gray just kidnapped and snatched him before anything bad could happen to him. After he found out the limitations of the Agency, and lost his name and memories of his mother, he went rogue taking his wrist strap with him.

He was fine with his solitude at the time, he could clearly remember that. After all, he grew up without tight family connections, after the invasion and Gray's disappearance nothing was the same, some doors were shut and there was no way to get them opened. Jack coped with that period before signing up with the Agency with casual friends, flings, flirtation and affairs. That kept him busy enough and gave his personality a lithe feel that made people comfortable beside him. No one could tell that anything was bothering him. He believed that was the thing that made him acceptable for the Time Agency. He was first ever to enlist there and that was quite a show, his send off, one of his best. Sometimes he thoughts about that name they gave him `the Face of Boe`. He thinks about that name and chuckles about it. It was funny because it was a reference to some big shot alien out there, he had never bothered to find out whom exactly because they had told him it was ugly, and it was the name of his home planet at the same time. The planet he had left without hesitation like he did everything else.

But things had changed after he'd meet the Doctor. The Doctor wasn't the one you could take to bed and get it over with. Bed was out of question with the Doctor, that was a pity on one hand, but on the other it was just perfect because he wouldn't have been able to tag along so long if it was offered. Jack just wasn't all that good at staying and letting his guard down.

It was different with his partner in the Agency, which could have never become serious, just because of the nature of his partner, he was simply insane. In fact, Jack discovered that that was the standard in the Agency. They needed people who could kill, torture, con, lie and cheat and Jack was their man. Numb enough not to care about others. But beside the Doctor it was just plain impossible not to care. His passion, anger, cheerfulness and care were on display and boy was it beautiful. Jack wanted some of that for himself instantly. And the more time he had spent with this man it became more obvious he wanted more of that, not on him but in him, in this particular case 'in him' didn't mean anything kinky but was something more pure than anything, he wanted to be like the Doctor, to care like that, to love like that, because the Doctor did love almost everything he encountered. He even loved Jack. Like Rose loved Jack with fondness and without desire. Jack wasn't used to the lack of desire, he had desires towards them, but he was surprised in how much he liked that feeling, that freedom to be few feet away from them and just talk away. Between the Doctor and Rose, Jack felt safe and good, they had seen the best in him and for them he was his best.

That's why he felt so utterly lost when they left. He had lost his guidance and it was hard to learn on his own what made them so good and beautiful, it was even harder to let go of his anger, disappointment, and to put his numbness back down.

Jack busied himself with all the technology from the end of the universe and was enthusiastic he was able to find his way around it. And it was rather wonderful to see entire people waiting for a better tomorrow, just surviving. Jack felt sudden surge of guilt for his gift of life. To see all of them struggling so hard against the end and death, was just overwhelming; Jack forgot how to appreciate life at some point.


	87. Crushed door lock

_Ok, here is some action and talking. Jack is coming to terms with new Doctor. Hope you'll enjoy it._

_Spoiler alert: Utopia, Sound of Drums_

_Beta-ed: TattooedLibrarian_

* * *

><p>When the Doctor decided to help out to those people in the future, Jack didn't think it was possible otherwise, he took his coat off and Jack took it from him folding it around his forearm. The Doctor was surprised by that for a split of a second but he carried on talking and Jack watched him from behind thinking how this Ianto-pose isn't so bad. Jack gotten used to having someone behind his back to take care of simple and necessary things like hanging his coat and he knew how nice it was to not have to think about the little things, but he didn't know how nice it was to stand behind and watch someone you admire do their magic.<p>

After that there was a time for action and repairing new and unfamiliar systems. Jack felt alive and happy. There were only a few things that could compare with working beside the Doctor. Especially when he discovered that after all that time they were still in sync working as one. Tossing and catching things through the air without more than one word, Jack could still predict the Doctor's moves. Jack went into such work frenzy that when it all short-circuited Jack just grabbed two ends of power cable and joined them together. He didn't even think about dying; death wasn't such a big obstacle for him. So when he woke up he wasn't bothered that he had just died, he just wanted to know why he had a strange taste in his mouth and a feel that somebody had just kissed him. If that had happened he would have liked to been present.

Nobody answered him but it turned out that they needed his immortal abilities. It was uplifting really to be needed for something that was uniquely his. He ran beside the Doctor in attempt to get all those people in their new life and it felt good.

"Why are you taking your clothes off" Doctor asked him in high pitched voice and that high pitch was worth it. Jack knew he looked good and he didn't know how long he would look that way so he wasn't the one to hide it.

The Doctor leaned on the window and finally started to talk to Jack. It was a good thing that Jack had such a hard thing to do, to stand flooded in radiation and lift heavy clips because he could focus on that. It wasn't an easy conversation and Jack had postponed thinking about it for later. Last bits of hope for death were gone. Jack was ready for that option, in fact he expected it; if there was anything the Doctor could do he would have found him and fix it long ago. He knew the Doctor well enough to know he would, but he had to hear it for himself. That's why he kept it light, for the Doctor's sake, the Doctor was too keen to carry burdens around, to feel guilty, Jack wasn't going to be that, not ever.

"So what you were saying is that you're prejudiced" Jack said while he was lifting clip and strain of that sentence went into the work his hands did by themselves, his trained hands didn't even need his eyes to look at the numbers "shame on you" he smiled through it all and Doctor seemed to relax.

"Rose" the Doctor said and Jack was surprised that was her that had done this, his immortality; that changed everything, he couldn't be angry at her, not really.

"Time-lines and all that" said Jack trying to give some comfort to the Doctor because he would never see Rose again. At that line all the Doctor's visits went through his head, times he just watched from afar knowing he couldn't interfere; watching his younger self dashing about so young and careless.

"Jack do you want to die" the Doctor asked him and Jack tried to ignore it but he persisted so he gave him a half truth, he told him about his thoughts about surviving and the struggle of these people, it did make him wonder if he was missing out on something.

"This new regeneration is kind of cheeky" Jack answered with a smile to the Doctor's banter that the only man Jack could be happy with is himself. For some reason when he said that Ianto popped into Jack's mind, covered in a blanket pushing Jack with his feet, smiling.

But that short moment of peace was gone and like always with the Doctor there was a time to push buttons, level the radiation and as if that wasn't enough, Martha came in with news of another Time Lord. The Doctor didn't seem happy about it and as they talked they mentioned the creature Face of Boe and his death, then the rocket finally lunched and it was the time to run again. Sensing the danger in form of the other Time Lord, Jack took charge and led the way to the Professor. The Doctor yelled at Jack to hurry, so he stopped typing and just crushed the lock. Jack and Martha held the door while the Doctor just stood there terrified and helpless. Jack shouted at him and he finally winced stepping towards them and leading them into safety.

Jack was surprised that safety was the time-line he had just left but in London. Checking the date he discovered he'd been missing for three months now. He hopped everything was going smoothly with his team. When he left he wasn't really hadn't thought he was leaving them behind. He thought the Doctor would come out, see the Hub, talk to him and then decide what to do next. How naive it was to think that things would ever go so smoothly and calm with the Doctor. In the first free moment Jack took his almost forgotten mobile and phoned Ianto. Strange, he didn't answer; he always answered and carried his phone. Had something happened, was he angry? Then he tried the Hub, still no answer.

"Just calling some friends" Jack said to the Doctor, not yet ready to disclose Torchwood to him, it was a delicate matter and the Doctor was focused.

It was disturbing for Jack to learn that their new Prime Minister, man he had personally spoken to, was the Master. That did mean he was aware of his team, now he was worried about them.


	88. Silent treatment

_Warning angst ahead, there isn't anything I could do about it, it's just that kind of episode, but I'll make up for it, promise. Thank you for new subscriptions. Hope I did the Master justice, he is mad as hell._

_Spoiler alert: Sound of Drums_

_Beta-ed: TattooedLibrarian_

* * *

><p>At Martha's flat Jack made coffee for the three of them. He had a craving for it, he'd gotten too used its flavour. It wasn't special, but it he knew how that kind of small offering could make things more normal, understandable.<p>

In no time Jack, the Doctor and Martha found themselves out casted and on the run and the Master sent him a message that his `gang` was in the Himalayas. Jack took that as a relief, they were safe but he felt exposed at the same time. There was nowhere to go; his Hub was out of reach.

Jack felt obligated to share Torchwood with the Doctor and as expected Doctor went into a furry. Jack felt all sorts of emotions under his gaze but he stood his ground explaining that he changed it in his honour. Jack knew this was true, he did try doing that, but he knew there were still many things the Doctor wouldn't approve. Jack didn't had freedom of the Tardis and mind of Time Lord and he did make mistakes, and there were things from his past he would never share with the Time Lord, but he had made a difference and it was in an attempt to live up to the Doctor's standards. Doctor calmed down soon enough and they focused on their task.

Jack struggled through his key chain while the Doctor's hand waited for the key the Doctor would turn into the Tardis key that would cloak them. The number of his keys showed Jack just how long he was domesticated on Earth; there were so many doors his keys opened. He chose a small key from a flat he never uses. There was no point in going there; the place where his children had grown up, but he couldn't give it away.

"It's like when you fancy someone and they don't even know you exist" said the Doctor explaining how the Tardis key works when it hides them. Martha looked at Jack with her big eyes desperate.

"You too" said Jack without surprise. It was easy to dash about behind the Doctor and look at him adoringly, and it was normal for him not to notice it. After all, he was more amazed that the Master found himself a wife than that he was the Prime Minister. It wasn't all that easy to accept it though.

Watching Saxon mocking Martha's family made Jack wish he could come up behind him and break his neck, but the Doctor declined him saying that it sounded like Torchwood.

"It's still a good plan" Jack didn't stand down; Torchwood methods were efficient no matter how much they might seem rough and cold. Jack admired the Doctor, and believed in him, but there were those times when he was not around to help and somebody had to make a stand. The Doctor denied him access to the Master declaring he wanted to save him. Jack doubted that could be achieved but the Doctor clearly was in charge here and Jack knew how to honour ranks. It was very important to trust the man in charge, the one that had more information and skills then you do. In other case you could end up with Abbadon above you and in cold morgue. Jack didn't mind the morgue but all those dead people did bother him.

Aboard the Valiant they found the Tardis and Jack instantly recognised the paradox machine. It was the one thing the Time Agency feared the most. It could destroy time and cause unspeakable things.

"Can you stop it" Jack asked dreading that he couldn't, that they've lost. The Doctor kept his optimism, but it was hard to follow that. He was too alarmed by the danger and utter destruction that was near.

When they captured the Doctor Jack charged at him just to be struck down. Jack woke up with a gasp of pain, it hurt, that laser screw driver hurt like hell. He saw the Doctor in a blur, the Master was in control.

"Teleport, we can't stop him, get out of here" Jack said to Martha and handed her his wrist strap. He knew enough of the Doctor to know he couldn't stand if Martha would suffer this, it would be worse than anything the Master could put upon him. Jack didn't consider going with her, the Doctor would need back up, and it wasn't easy to get rid of Jack. Besides he had practise in dying.

Then the sky opened and Hell broke loose. Martha was gone and that was one thing on their side, she was the link, someone the Master could torture to hurt both the Doctor, her family, and even Jack would be hurt from that. But there were something else in the Doctor's eyes. Determination was still there, he had a plan, and even Martha was a part of it. They just had to wait until everything was in place. With a paradox of this size it could take time to build up power for reversing it. The Master shot Jack again just in passing, for no special reason. When Jack awoke he hoped it won't be too long of a wait. But he didn't show it, the Doctor was watching.

Later on the guards took Jack to his new quarters. They chained him to the walls so he had to stand with his hands spread apart.

"I know you're the resourceful one" said the Master in his ear when he came to inspect his confinements. "No walking about for you freak, or girly, what do you prefer?"

Jack didn't respond.

"What, out of your wits already Captain, I'm disappointed, it will be boring if you don't cooperate, but I always can be innovative about the killing, I lack the practise, and this dull lot of people die too easily. My luck is that I have you for practise so I'll do them justice when they're up. It would be rather cruel to diminish their experience in death, they can experience it just once, and it's a thrilling experience, don't you agree?" with those words he hit him in the back of his neck.

Jack woke up alone gasping for air.

"And the best thing is" Master continued his monolog when he came back "if I forget to kill you, I am a busy man, the strain of standing will, even if your little admirers fed you, you can't stand forever."

Next time Master brought a chair with him.

"You're in luck, today I have time for you, and I can wait to see you came back to life. It's not as thrilling as dying but I get to see all the abomination of your existence at work. You see, I'm the Time Lord, I know what that little Rose did. She made you a freak, now you're not just a girl, freak of nature. A man like me can appreciate that, but our Doctor is, like you said, prejudice. Why do you stick around by his side? I've put you here to spare you from his disgusted looks when you come about. Didn't you notice how he looks away when you wake up? I mean, I can't blame him, I can appreciate it, but I wouldn't touch you. Pity really because you are a handsome devil and you do miss the touch, don't you?" Master leaned forward looking for signs of distress on Jack's face but he stood firm.

Master laughed at that and went on with the killing.

"Curious really" said the Master later on "how you decided to shut me out. What, you don't want to waste your charm on me? I've seen you on the cameras, how you talk about anything that comes near you. You just don't give up. I bet my soldiers find it difficult just to stand near you, I bet they would give in, but they know I'm watching, so you talk to them in vain. Maybe you have noticed that I send them away when we have our special time. I think it's best for them to think you're mine to use, because you are, and I don't want them to think you're something special with that show you make when you revive. Because you're not, you're just a dull plain human, nothing especially strong or smart, the only different thing you've got is that you're stranded on this side of death and you're stuck with them. Isn't boring to watch them die and live like that, this, this wonderful destruction I've brought is much more fun, pity is that you can't enjoy it locked away like this."

Jack squeezed his jaw not to answer him, not to tell he would rather live a thousand lives watching them live and die than one minute with his ugly face. He couldn't believe he'd ever looked at that regenerated face and thought it to be beautiful. There was nothing beautiful on that face now, just hatred, madness and anger. The Master must have seen his thoughts on his face because his face turned into furry and he struck him down with that damn laser screw driver, it seemed like it hurt even more every time.

"Funny" the Master came in a very bright mood and Jack felt fear "it's real funny you decided to work a silent treatment on me. All those witty and devilish comments locked away, they must be killing you from the inside. Sometimes I listen to your ramblings just to spend time. To be understood you're not old at all for me or the Doctor, but your anecdotes are so fun because you choose to spend your time like a child, indulging yourself, chasing after people, making things happen in dullest of places. But more interesting are the things you don't talk about, I mean you never talk about some people and it just amazes me. Do you think that I could overlook that kind of gap" there was a big grin plastered on Master's face and he started to walk around Jack enjoying tension of his shoulders. "I leave you to dwell on that."

Jack stood there feeling the abyss in his stomach. What would he do? Who would he find? Jack was old enough to have more than one person down there for whom he would suffer for. He feared already that most of them were already gone, but that was a much better option than to end up in the Master's hands. Jack had enough experience in torture on both sides of the stick to know that the things that hurt the most were not the ones that someone can do to you.

"It's such a pity" Master said holding his hands behind his back "I'd hoped we'd have some company in a form of that `gang` of yours, that dear little team you never speak about, but they were too stubborn to come. I'll have to admit you did train them well, when they' went down they took two of my children with them. Imagine where we've found them, in the middle of the China, they tried to reach home on foot from the Himalayas, isn't that just adorable? Ah well, now there is just mush left of them" he shrugged his shoulders looking Jack in his eyes. When Jack roared and started to fight his chains Master started to laugh, and his laughter echoed the metal corridors of the ship.


	89. Phantasm

**Hello, here is some Jack standing cuffed still. Can't do anything about that. I've read allot of fan-fiction stories recently so I'm considering new strategies in retrieving feed back. I'm having trouble in getting responses in all areas at the moment so this is not bad place to practice.**** And it's really nice to get some :)**

**Spoiler alert: The Last of the Time Lords**

**Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian**

* * *

><p>Jack lost track of time. He just stood there in constant light; he only knew time passed because guards shift changes, the Master visited and Francine brought him food. Only because of Martha's family did he keep his appearance normal, but the Master saw right through him and Jack hated it. After he'd told him what happened to his team and supported it with pictures Jack gave up. Not on the Doctor, he believed that the Doctor would fix this, he had to, and he knew from the nature of the paradox that there is a strong chance they all would be alive when this was over, but they were dead now, dead for him, and because of him. He wasn't surprised that seeing them dead would hurt so much, they were the closest thing to a family he had in years, but he was surprised how hard it was to believe it. He resigned himself that all around him would die in time, very soon from his point of view, but he didn't realized that he would regret so much, regret withdrawal, guarding his borders, things he missed out because he wanted to avoid the pain and the loss. But in spite of all that pain was there, and with it came remorse.<p>

He wasn't sure anymore if he should go back to them if everything were to reset. He would always see them as ghostly creatures he'd already seen dead, and yet he would have to go through it again when they died outside the paradox. That's why Jack had spent his time standing with closed eyes and cataloged his memories about all of them trying to preserve them to his memory knowing that it was in vain, that time would move on and it would eventually take everything from him.

That's why when the man in the suit came in, it wasn't unusual for one of the Masters pets to come around with some task of measuring Jack's head and that kind of things, Jack thought he moved a lot like Ianto, careful but determinate. That's why when the man stopped he looked up to his face, usually he wasn't very interested in their faces; he didn't want to recognise them when everything went back to normal. He smiled when he looked at his face; it figured that he started to see phantasms, his mind was so tired and for once Jack was grateful for this trick it pulled on him. For change it wasn't Grey to yell at him, or Angelo to scream behind him, or his wife to reclaim him, this time it was Ianto. It was nice to see Ianto, it was always nice to see Ianto; he was just so... Jack couldn't find a word for it. He could be angry, disapproving, reprimanding, and tired, but it never looked malicious on him; except that one time he'd punch him, but even then when it all went to hell he wasn't the one to pull the trigger. He also could look adorable, happy, aroused, sleepy, teasing, ironic and challenging; of course that all made him hot as hell, it was rare really to come across somebody that would embody such amount of qualities that would attract Jack.

Then the phantasm of Ianto rushed towards him and Jack was dazed by the fact that his face didn't change into something else, and that it looked so worried, like it pained it to see Jack like this. Ianto would look that way if he was here. When he was close Jack noted that this phantasm is even tinier than his Ianto, and that he looked tired.

"For God sake Jack" it whispered in Ianto's voice sounding scared "speak up, you look awful."

"Thanks" Jack responded automatically "it's always nice to hear a compliment" he felt how his face stretched into a smile because this Ianto had longer hair and it looked kind of silly, all curly and messy, his Ianto would never allow that.

"Let's just get out of here, and then we can exchange pleasantries" he grunted and reached for Jack's cuffed hand. When his hand grabbed Jack's Jack gasped with surprise. It was real, this was his Ianto.

"Ianto what are you doing here? Aren't you dead?" Jack tried to shake off the fog from his mind, but Ianto didn't disappear he just placed an unlocking device from the Hub to his cuffs and his hand was free, it fell down from surprise.

"I'm getting you out of here." He said reaching for the other hand, but Jack grabbed him by the hand forcing him to face him. Ianto's eyes were serious and heavy, they looked older, but it was him.

"The others? Are they dead?" Jack whispered "I've seen pictures."

"Oh" Ianto smiled sadly "sorry about that, we're all alive, the flying balls were on to us, we had to give them something to put them off the trail. Some of our friends in Asia gave them what they needed to see."

"Flying balls?" Jack smiled.

"Yeah, it suits them better, and I'm not going to break my tongue over them." Ianto deadpanned and Jack smile grew and inch wider.

"We have the time schedule here" Ianto reached for the other hand but Jack stopped him one more time.

"No" he said calmly "I'm not going, strap me back."

"What?" Ianto's face squinted in anger "What do you mean, this is not time for Stockholm syndrome Jack, I'm not going to just leave you here to die over and over again. Why would you want to do that?" Ianto's eyes turned small like they do when he is overpowered with emotions, he looked away.

"Ianto listen to me" Jack's voice turned into his ordering tone "it's not time for discussion; you have to trust me on this one, remember what happen last time you didn't."

Ianto straighten himself up and looked Jack in the eye suddenly calm.

"I do remember Jack; you ended up stone cold in the morgue for days and you've could stay there if Gwen didn't persist. This is time for discussion, we have" Ianto looked at his watch "15 minutes till that camera up there starts to film again, now is fed by old footage. Convince me why I shouldn't just knock you down and drag you out of here, we have trolley ready in case if you were dead when we came in." Jack blinked few times amazed by this new unfaltering Ianto before him and then started to talk fast saving time.

"We can fix this, all of this, not just defeat flying balls and the Master, but erase everything they have ever done, just reset the time, but we can do this only from here where Tardis is, and the Doctor can do it, he just needs time. And Martha Jones, down there needs time too, to complete her task and come back here, and then we can reverse all of it. When the time comes the Doctor will need me here, to help him, it could all go wrong without me. And I am partly to blame for this because I jumped on the Tardis and pushed it, but never mind, I've had worse parties than this Master guy, humans are much more savage people than any alien." Jack paused to take in air and Ianto watched him for a moment unreadable then he took his hand and strapped it back to its place above Jack's head, he looked defeated.

* * *

><p><em>Reviews are received at this end<em>

V

V

V

V

_Thank you :)  
><em>

V

V


	90. Lead

**Hello, here is new chapter. Hope you'll like it. Thank you for following this story. This one I dedicate to paulaloveremus because she talks to me :)**

**No spoilers**

**Beta-ed: TattooedLibrarian (who makes time difference doesn't count)**

* * *

><p>"Ianto we have to move" there was a whisper from the door and Jack looked up to see Gwen in a maid's uniform, she had deep bags under her eyes, and she looked older, without a spark, her eyes met Jack's and for a brief moment there was a spark in her eyes just to be replaced with drowning sadness.<p>

"We missed this queue, Jack is staying." Ianto informed her not moving away from Jack, Gwen moved towards them.

"How do you mean" her voice got higher "we came to get you, to bring you home with us, everything is going smoothly, Tosh says the ship is sleeping."

"Gwen" Ianto said with a strong and determined tone and she looked at him "Jack is staying, he has a task here, now go, Tosh is waiting, it's your turn, and I'll take the queue in ten."

She nodded but then she threw herself around Jack's neck.

"Come home, we need you" she whispered and then she took off. Jack looked at her back shocked.

"Ok Grumpy, Big Eyes is on her way, Tea Boy will be in ten, Seagull is not coming." Ianto said to his com.

"Seagull? Really? Not Big Chief, Handsome Hero?" Jack joked but Ianto just glared at him. "What is Tosh?"

"Brain" said Ianto briefly and went to stand beside the door.

Jack watched his back regretting so many things, but feeling light, they were alive.

"So" Jack started deciding that he wouldn't miss out on this opportunity to talk "they've chosen you to lead, I would never guess that."

"They didn't" he answered without glancing back.

"It sure sounded like you're in charge, even Owen didn't argue, man he didn't listen to me like that without a retort or doubt."

Ianto sighed and his shoulders slumped down.

"I'm good at infiltrating and deceiving." Jack smirked admitting that he was good at that. "Besides" he added somewhat bitter. "Owen isn't himself, none of them are. I had to take charge" he said heavily.

"How do you mean?" Jack was alarmed. "What's wrong with them?"

"All of this" Ianto gestured with his hand showing around. "Owen shut down after we managed to take the flying ball that we took down to the Hub. He and Tosh worked for days trying to open it, when they succeeded and he ran tests on the dead alien he went mad. He burned the alien's remains and all the samples, deleted his records and refused to tell us what he found. After that, he just sits and stares at the wall, he moves only when we find some casualties." Ianto paused for a second and Jack thought he wouldn't continue. "Tosh closed herself up after we saw the footage of Japan burning, since then she's been buried in a computer mumbling in Japanese. And Gwen, well you've seen, Gwen without Rhys isn't really herself; I came to understand why she fought for him so hard."

"Yes I remember" Jack said bitterly and Ianto finally turned towards him. He looked at him deciding something, when he reached his decision he sighed and unbuttoned his suit jacket and put his hands on his hips like he does after hard day's work.

"Jack, remember when we turned on you" he said looking at the floor "we'd been tricked and I saw..." Ianto paused stumbling over his words slightly like he sometimes does.

"I know" Jack jumped in trying to make it easier "you saw Lisa."

"Let me say this Jack" Ianto snapped waving his hand around "yes I saw Lisa" his stammer disappeared but he still looked down "but she didn't offer me to stay, to come back, she just said that people will die, a lot of people, that's why I listened to her, to do the right thing, not to get her back." He finished and turned back to the door looking at his watch, not the pocket watch, but the one on his wrist. Jack smiled to his back feeling suddenly relaxed and confident.

"Ianto" Jack called his name like an exclamation and Ianto turned towards Jack bewildered, Jack grinned at him widely and Ianto's eyes darted down to his mouth "you know you're play rescuing hero rather poorly. You have here damsel in distress strapped down and have a plan to leave her without so much as a kiss."

"A kiss?" Ianto's eyebrows went up in surprise.

"Yeah, a kiss, if I counted it correctly you owe me two kisses, or I'm in the lead by two kisses, can't decide how to look at it" Jack pondered and Ianto relaxed looking at him under his eyebrows intensively.

"You've counted" Ianto said with low and suddenly husky voice, Jack held his breath watching transformation in Ianto's posture. It was like he unknotted himself, his hips swayed with his steps while he approached Jack slowly. On his lips played small almost unnoticeable smile and his eyes turned into warm shade of blue. Jack shivered; when Ianto reached him his breath was short.

Ianto stopped right in front of him almost touching but just out of reach.

"You always were such a tease" grunted Jack breathing heavy. Ianto smiled and Jack stopped breathing. It was one of those rare smiles that reached his eyes, warm and soft. Then Ianto stepped that half of a step closer and pressed himself against Jack's body.

"Who would say you're the one to wait" said Ianto quietly his breath ghosting against Jack's lips.

"Well" Jack whispered without movement "you always were the boss of this."

Ianto chuckled and Jack could feel the movement on his stomach.

"Guess I was" Ianto leaned in putting his hands on Jack's hips lightly and just brushed his lips against Jack's. It was a soft kiss and Ianto pulled away after a moment. "That's one" he said and Jack just watched his face taking it in, memorising. Then Ianto took his right hand to Jack's face and put his palm on his jaw stroking his face lightly with his thumb. "It's not bad really" Ianto's voice was cheerful, his eyes content, and his eyebrows lifted "to have you fixed like this, I would always know where to find you."

Jack's breath became heavy when all the possibilities and naked images stormed into his head, Ianto's eyes narrowed turning dark and his hands moved to the back of Jack's neck and small of his back pressing him into Ianto. Ianto's mouth clashed to Jack's hungrily this time claiming him. Jack responded instantly leaning in until his arms started to hurt, but he didn't even notice. There was a smell of Ianto, his taste, his body and Jack wanted to devour him, he didn't want to hold back, to spare him. He wanted to let his inner shark go and claim him, to find everything he could find, take anything that was offered and now he knew Ianto would let him.

After too short a time of stubbles brushing, tongues exploring and bodies trying to press into each other Ianto pulled back still not letting go, just moving his head away. He breathed heavily.

"And now we're even" He said calmly like his chart was somewhere near and he would note the score and Jack believed it for a second, he forgot where he was. It was frustrating really that he couldn't move further in, Ianto was out of reach. Ianto rubbed his back finding a way under his shirt to his skin and Jack gasped with surprise, it was so long since anybody touched him and his skin did crave it. Like he knew Ianto's hand went up and he brushed gently the whole length of his back. Jack closed his eyes and hummed aware that Ianto watched him closely, but he didn't mind, he trusted Ianto, and his gaze was healing as much as his hand. It was too long that he was watched only by the Master and he forgot how he looked through gentler eyes. He could feel now how he looked through Ianto's eyes and he was amazed how he let himself fall that deep.

"Jack" he heard Ianto whisper his name but the touch continued so he didn't open his eyes absorbing the warmth.

"Yeah?" he muttered.

"It's not your fault, any of this, it's just not" Ianto said softly and Jack's eyes shot open staring at him terrified. Out of all the things he said Ianto heard that one. He didn't back down but moved his hand around Jack's chest and rested it on his heart warm and soft. "You were just looking for the answers you deserve. If you stumbled upon a monster and woke him up, we know they are all around; it doesn't make you guilty for what he does. You could never be like that, ever. You have too much of a heart for it." With that he placed a short kiss on Jack's shocked mouth and said with cocky grin "And now I'm in the lead."

"You cocky bastard" Jack was stunned and impressed.

Ianto shrugged his shoulders humbly "I do try sir" he said and then took a deep breath changing his face to his usual polite manner retrieving his hands from Jack's skin.

"Right then" he said like he'd just brought him coffee "time to go" he pressed his lips in a tight smile and nodded stepping backwards. Jack blinked trying to keep his composure. Ianto turned around but stopped when he reached the door. He turned his profile to Jack not looking back.

"And Jack" he called out.

"Mhm" was all that Jack could produce.

"If you're wrong and end up stuck here forever, I will come back" his tone was menacing.

"And what" Jack smirked "kill me?"

"No Jack, I'll let him kill me" he glanced back and smiled like an innocent child and Jack felt like all the air had left his lungs.

"Ianto" Jack managed to voice out harshly "I will come back for you."

Ianto's lips curved up and his face was filled with humour and irony "Sure you will Jack" and with that he slipped away.

Jack listened how his footsteps disappeared in the distance. When he couldn't hear it anymore he let his legs slump under him and hung on his hands. He let his tears drop to the floor. He wasn't alone, they weren't dead, and Ianto came. It was too much for Jack to take and not crumble down. His heart ached.

After a while he heard the camera moving in the silence searching for him so he stood up and took a step back to his previous position, the one he stood in before Ianto came in. Everything must look the same so he closed his eyes knowing he couldn't wipe away his tears and that the Master would notice them and savour his sorrow but it didn't matter, not anymore. Ianto came in and even if it seemed like nothing had changed, everything did. Jack would not show any signs of that change, nor would he show his fear or pain. Not because of the Master but because Toshiko controlled that camera and Owen beside her could see him, because Gwen would enter at any moment and Ianto right behind her. They could watch him and because they cared, his pain would hurt them. He hoped they wouldn't watch too often but he knew Ianto would. That made him feel better, he wasn't alone here and that made a world of difference.

When the Master came in he found him standing and calm, Jack even managed to smile at him.

"So freak, you finally started to enjoy this as much as I do" he said exhilarated and Jack almost laughed with relief. They managed to get away unnoticed. He bit down that smile and turned it into a stare.

"Don't you remember" the Master shouted with a frown "I don't like when you stare" and with those words he struck him down. Jack didn't listen to him anymore, he focused himself on good memories, the same ones about his team, but now they weren't coloured with guilt and pain. He wasn't the monster in the room. That realization was all that he needed to get through all this.

He didn't think of Ianto during his time with the Master, he didn't want to share that. Those memories he saved for quiet times in between when he could imagine Ianto watch over him, waiting.

* * *

><p><em>Like it?<em>

_Push the button_

_and let me know_

_:)_

V

V

V


	91. Suicide mission

_Hello after few days off. We're back to Ianto's POV some angst ahead. The story had breached 90th chapter, and has 50 reviews, so I'll settle for that and just assume you're enjoying it, I am. Welcome new subscribers, hope I'll live up to it._

_Minor spoilers for The Last of the Time Lords_

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian wonderful as ever_

* * *

><p>Ianto was dazed. He walked down the corridors and into the service ship, he sat down beside Gwen and Owen engaged the engines. Tosh didn't lift her eyes from the screen. He looked at them all tired and broken and thought about what Jack had said. He said all this time will be deleted, that they wouldn't remember this. It was hard for Ianto to imagine that abyss where all of them, them with this experiences will be gone. He rolled back events from last month's under the Master, in the paradox, and he decided that it wouldn't be a great loss. He would give it up in no time.<p>

It would probably all go back to the moment they realized that there was nothing alien in the Himalayas and started to pack for home. Owen grumbled, Gwen tried to get reception on her phone, Tosh sorted her data, and Ianto packed equipment. That was the moment when the flying balls filled the sky and ripped it open. They went for cover not waiting to receive the message of peace, they rarely received those, but what saved them weren't their wits but the desolated place where they were. After that all went into shut down, vehicles, gadgets, even basic electricity. It wasn't easy to reach England from there, but it was the goal they could understand, and there was a hope that they would be able to think of something in the Hub; or, which none of them would admit, that Jack would be there waiting with a solution of all this.

They kept it together during their voyage. Isolated as they were they had no information about how bad it all was. They had a purpose and Ianto wasn't in charge in that time. Gwen and Owen were a good team and Ianto contributed in planning routes, thinking about covers, and keeping an eye on supplies. On their way, on foot, sea and rarer in car, they met people in hiding and made contact promising that something would be done about this. Communication was surveyed so they used radio waves and avoided modern technology completely. It wasn't easy for Tosh to adjust but she did.

Only problem that bugged them constantly was the flying balls, or damn flying balls as Owen had named them, rest of them were fine without that damn, it seemed like they were searching for them. It seemed paranoid that they would be tracked down through all the Asia and Europe, they weren't so important or known, but they decided that it was a plausible theory so they dealt with it. Funny enough after they placed similar bodies to their own in their clothes and some of their items and identifications all interest in them disappeared. It made them feel better, maybe they were important, and maybe there was something they could do. It took them half of the time for the rest of the journey.

They found the Hub deserted, devastated and without power. Tosh's computers were dead, morgue was empty, and Rhys was nowhere to be found. Missing Rhys was beginning of disintegration. Gwen went mad looking for him investigating, yelling, accusing, she didn't stop until she found his body buried underneath a pile of bodies scattered by those damn balls. She went into shut down; a trail of unending tears was the only sign of life.

Then Tosh managed to get a secondary power source in motion together with a shield they weren't sure would work. She searched the transmissions of the scattered resistance trying to determine damage just to discover that the state was the same everywhere. That didn't get to her, she was efficient, fast fingers on the keyboard, steady voice, but then she froze. She couldn't look away from burning Japan. It was probably something buried in her collective subconscious, terror of atomic bombs that couldn't be erased but now ten times worse. Nothing was left of the islands, just black soil. She didn't cry but she didn't speak anymore, there wasn't announcing of her successes or failures. She had only had eyes for the monitor.

Owen persisted convinced he could defeat the flying balls, he felt a personal vendetta for everything, they weren't aware of the Master, he was just a name, they missed all his transmissions. So they worked together as a team, because even in their distress the work was too deep in them to be extinguished. Tosh came up with an electric wall and they got themselves an alien. Owen worked for days frantic. When he opened it he wouldn't let anyone near. They waited but only to smell burning flesh in the air when he burned the alien body. Owen was terrified and after that he lost all interest, reducing himself to an ordinary doctor who would patch wounds and gave stitches, nothing could be gotten out of him.

Ianto worked around the Hub cleaning, collecting, feeding them and collecting sharp objects from out of reach. Others continued to work but without hope, automatic. Then there was their first live stream of the Master, he was talking to the nations but no one in the Hub was listening to him. They just watched in silence, not breathing, looking at the cuffed man behind him. It was Jack; he stood there dirty, defeated and tired. His eyes were closed. Maybe that was the worst part, to see him submitted like that at the mercy of the man that enslaved the Earth. Ianto's hands were trembling, he started to shake but rest of them were to numb to notice.

"Our fierce leader" murmured Owen and turned towards medical bay "wouldn't be him right now."

"It's all my fault" said Gwen with a whisper and went on the sofa squeezing herself into a ball. "Everyone is gone."

Tosh's hand went over and tapped the keyboard turning the screen off.

"No" Ianto jumped forward and turned it up again.

"Why do you want to see that?" it was the first thing Tosh had said in awhile.

"We need to know where they are holding him" said Ianto angrily "we can't just turn off the screen and pretend he's not there."

"Tea boy a hero" Owen snorted like everything was as usual "you're going to save your big daddy?"

It took all of Ianto's self control to stay put and not punch him, which would be a pointless effort, besides Owen was just step away from leaving one way or another.

"Tosh, you need some rest" he said gently to Toshiko who stared at the screen "let me do this." She nodded and left towards the archives searching for bed. Beds came in handy, not in the way Ianto expected, but still, it helped them to be unnoticed. Dragging beds in midst of all this would be suspicious.

Ianto clenched his jaw and started his research. It wasn't easy because the data wasn't so easily attainable. Luckily the Master had narcissistic persona so all his videos were out there. Ianto looked every one of them. Jack would rarely appear, but the Doctor was always there. Sight of the Doctor made Ianto's heart sink, that rescue option was out of order. Finally he got the first footage when Prime Minister Saxon revealed himself. Jack was there, out of camera but Ianto knew he was there fighting.

"And the good thing is, he's not dead for long, I get to kill him again" said the Master and Ianto closed his eyes knowing what the Master was using Jack for. He counted the days and months from when it all started and he felt sick.

Ianto ushered them all in the boarding room which was functional in difference to their destroyed greenhouse. He briefed them.

"He's held on the Valliant so we'll have to get something that flies. We need Jack's exact location, surveillance cameras to jam, opening locks wont' be a problem. They need to eat too, in the footage it's seen that the Master has full staff there, which means there must be frequent line of supplies, even if he doesn't eat people must be fed."

"It seems" Owen said with a smile "that our Ianto here has finally gone mental."

Ianto's spine stiffened at that.

"Would he do less for you" Ianto said coldly "we can't just let him die there!"

"Ianto" said Gwen with her now weak voice "honey you know he can't die?"

Ianto looked at them in disbelief.

"Don't you know what that means?" his voice was hoarse "It means he has the honour of dying every day, maybe even every hour. Didn't you see how that hurts?" he leaned forward supporting himself with his hands on the desk unconsciously mirroring Jack "When we killed him" even through their stupor they winced under his hard words "didn't you notice that he died for real not just for show? When he lay in the morgue, didn't you notice his flesh was stone cold? You think that doesn't hurt, or is that what you tell yourselves?"

"Ianto, even if we managed to pull it off" said Tosh tiredly "don't you know it's a suicide mission?"

"Yeah" Owen supported her "and we only get to die once."

Ianto smiled.

"Do you have anything better to do?" no one looked at him.

"I'm with you" said Gwen finally "let's bring him home."

"I can tap into security system" Tosh tapped her fingers on the table like her pad was there "get us some passes, ids, even the vehicle but who would fly it, we can't trust an outsider with this one."

"I'll fly it, just give me instructions" said Owen suddenly mad "I'll fly it through the Rift and out of here if it's necessary."

"I'll make cover stories" said Ianto and they went to work.

As they planned and prepared Ianto noticed that they all looked better, focused on a joined purpose. There was even a glimmer of hope. When Tosh found a surveillance camera that was focused on Jack they all gasped. He stood there same as on footage from day before but stretched and chained to the walls. After that there wasn't any hesitation left. Tosh recorded Jack so she could have cover track, she'd done it with the rest of corridors they could need. They looked for the best time to infiltrate. That's how they witnessed Master's visit to Jack. After few moments of stunned silence Ianto reached over Toshiko and turned off the screen. They worked with more severity.

Finally they found the appropriate ship and crew, sent out orders that dismissed them for the evening, and there was an empty freighter waiting for them.

* * *

><p><em>opinions are submitted this way<em>

V


	92. Expressionless

_Hello, we go on with team perspective. Thnx new subscribers. Reviews are welcomed :)_

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian_

* * *

><p>The last detail on which they argued about was who would go to Jack and get him out. Owen wanted to go and take Gwen, it was a standard formation and he didn't understand why Ianto wanted otherwise.<p>

"You don't have enough experience" Owen argued but Ianto stood firm. "You'll fuck it up."

Ianto raised his eyebrow ironically.

"And you will stay calm if any of those flying balls goes by" Owen's shoulders slumped down and he grumbled, it was a weak spot and he knew he couldn't just pretend and carry on. "Besides I have undercover experience and am proved in deceiving. And my physique will more likely go by unnoticed."

"I can go by unnoticed" Owen didn't give in.

Ianto smirked.

"Sure, if you can be blank and without grumping for a half an hour, go on" Owen frowned.

"Admit it" said Tosh quietly "he's got you there."

Owen looked at her in surprise and then suddenly smiled reaching out and squeezing her upper arm.

"You're right" he sighed "I would probably curse whole way through until that crazy Master fellow shows up just so I could smack him."

"Like you would have a chance" Gwen smirked looking alive after awhile. "What did I miss, when did Ianto get undercover experience?"

"Lisa" Tosh whispered trying to be discreet.

"Oh, yes" Gwen continued with her normal voice "I forgot about that, he was quite convincing, no one could tell he has a care in the world. That must be nice, to be able to do that" her gaze drifted away in the distance again.

Ianto stiffened shortly hearing her name, but it didn't hurt, not really, he was too preoccupied to even register that short emotion. There was so much work to do, so many details to cover them. After all the effort they put into making themselves appear dead, it would be stupid to expose their cover. If they intend to hide Jack, they must be virtually invisible going in and out. Tosh covered the technical part perfectly, so he focused on human part, stories people would tell when questions started to rise. The Master wasn't an ordinary blood thirsty alien, he had more brain then Ianto would like him too, but he was just one, and he seemed to fixate on the Doctor, Jack was just a side attraction. That worked to their favour because most of the security and staff focused on Doctor's whereabouts.

"Ianto" Owen approached him out of the girls hearing before take-off "I know you're good at pretending and all, sometimes I forget just how well, but I saw you when you fought for Lisa." Ianto didn't lift his gaze to meet Owen's eyes. "I can understand that, maybe too well, but Gwen will be there with you, and Tosh will be on board, I don't care about myself, but don't get them hurt just because you can't let go of Jack like I couldn't with Diane." Ianto closed his eyes and nodded. "Well that's sorted then" He patted Ianto on the back cheerfully "it's not like I expect we'll survive, just don't let it be your fault Tea Boy."

"Hey Grumpy" shouted Gwen, she came around when it was time to move "I'm not going to carry all this by myself."

"If your hands were big as your mouth Big Eyes then you could" he paced away. Ianto could sense their excitement; they could push their troubles behind by work, like they always did. Ianto didn't share that excitement, he was calm and controlled like he always was when emotions were cast aside for life and death defining situations. He learned that from his father, and maybe he should be grateful for that. It was a great and long lesson but now he knew how to find his path through rough times, avoiding painful places but not ignoring them, it was very dangerous to suppress them, they were beacons that showed how to bend, what to display, when to shut up.

He could sense now that crazy place Owen warned him about, it shouted out like background noise calling for Jack's presence, searching, squirming under pictures of a defenceless Jack. He knew for quite some time now that he cared for Jack, maybe he only admitted it when he laid in the morgue, but then there wasn't anything to do so his feelings were useless waves of regret, that wasn't dangerous. But this was different, now he had the means to act and decide, and that place went crazy again trying to push out everything else, to make everyone else meaningless. He watched the three of them packing and bickering and forced himself to see them as they were now, broken and injured underneath that light banter. They were important too, and they needed him, maybe as much as Jack did.

"Why do I have to be maid" Gwen whined peaking at the uniform in the bag.

"Well you wouldn't be very convincing in a sharp suit with those circles under your eyes" Ianto said not really focusing on it; he was already three steps ahead and they had to get to the freighter without showing on the cameras or drawing attention to themselves "but it would serve you fine to define suffering and slavery."

"Ianto!" Tosh was scandalised by him, he frowned rethinking his sentence.

"It's fine sweetheart" Gwen sighed "I own a mirror." She pulled uniform over her head.

"You could keep that" said Owen thoughtfully.

"You wish" Gwen said harshly and backed away from him.

"What did I say" Ianto kept his voice soft and face polite "no sudden movements, look down, don't argue, and don't fuss, we have to look ordinary, no expressions, nothing that would draw attention."

"Yes boss" Owen smirked but after that they all went quiet following Ianto's instructions. No one looked their way. Guards looked over their heads looking for danger.

"What did I say" Ianto whispered when the doors shut behind them "that was excellent, no one would know a thing about us. People are so easily diverted. Minimal talking, just in case we missed something." He waved around gesturing to all the bugs they disabled. The Master liked to eavesdrop on everything.

* * *

><p>reviews go this way<p>

V

V


	93. Guilt

_A/N__: Here is more Ianto perspective, some angst and hurt. Enjoy_

_No spoilers_

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian_

* * *

><p>They had more than luck on their way. It seemed they'd planned everything, or that the Master just didn't expect any company, he was that arrogant. Cameras went down easily and no alarms were sound. Owen drove the ship with determination and it didn't even falter when they docked. But Ianto had to notice that Tosh's hands were busy as Owens. She did what she had always done, she compensated for his flaws. Ianto had no intention of commenting on that, which was their way. Maybe that was the reason Owen still hadn't disintegrated into drunken and rambling mess.<p>

Gwen turned to report their arrival and cargo. Ianto went forward turning without hesitation knowing every step of the way but when Jack came into his sight he stood still in his tracks. It was one thing to see Jack small on the screen, but completely different to see him in flesh all covered in dirt and so tired. He didn't even react when he saw his face. He studied him so calmly and distantly that for a moment Ianto feared that he'd gone, that nothing was left of him. It was only shock Ianto reassured himself and gather up his determination went over to him.

"For God sake, Jack, speak up, you look awful" he needed to hear his voice to scare away his doubts.

"Thanks, it's always nice to hear a compliment" Jack sounded a bit husky but Ianto felt relief, there it was sarcasm underneath it all, he was just tired, nothing more.

Jack gasped when Ianto grabbed his hand to unlock his cuff, but Ianto had focus on the next step, getting him the Hell out of here.

"Aren't you dead?" Jack's voice sounded shaken like he'd just woken up.

Ianto ignored that but Jack grabbed him firmly by the hand, his hand was reassuringly strong. He reluctantly looked into those blue now haunted eyes. It was hard to stand so near and not to give into one of his many raging emotions. He mocked Owen but now he could just go up and smack that damn Time Lord in all his arrogance.

"Others, are they dead? I've seen pictures" Jack looked terrified and Ianto suddenly realized why they were so important to the flying balls. It wasn't their abilities to fight aliens; it was much simpler than that, it was their importance to Jack, that's why they were trying to get them alive.

While he explained events to Jack he internally calculated how long Jack had hung here thinking that they were dead.

"Flying balls?" he could hear small trace of laugh in his voice and his heart eased a bit. When after a second his smile became visible he remembered their timetable. He reached for the other hand thinking how everything would be alright when Jack stopped him.

"Strap me back" he said and Ianto's mind froze refusing to understand. When he finally realized what Jack is asking him he felt such surge of rage that he couldn't control it.

"I'm not going to leave you here to die over and over again" it took all of his will power not to shout those words but they weren't getting through to Jack.

"Ianto listen to me, it's not time for discussion;" Jack straighten himself up into his Captain pose "you have to trust me on this one, remember what happen last time you didn't."

Ianto almost smiled, of course he remembered, he remembered clearly Jack's still and white face. If Jack was going to be Captain then he would be his unreadable butler who managed most of his shit without a raised eyebrow. Jack didn't doubt his words, not even the trolley lie, that couldn't get through unnoticed; Ianto was always capable of deceiving him, now wasn't any different.

Ianto kept his face steady as Jack revealed uncharacteristically a lot about everything. Ianto stored that speech for later, it was too fast to understand right away, but now he understood the important thing. Jack felt guilty and when he was feeling guilty there wasn't a force in the world to tell him otherwise. Ianto had tried to help on a few occasions, but that wasn't something Jack would let out and discuss. Jack wouldn't even say any of it if he wasn't scared that Ianto would stole him opportunity to redeem himself, he would just kept his reasons for himself. Because of his guilt Ianto cuffed him back. As he closed metal around Jack's wrist he felt a weight back on his chest, he was useless, and he dragged everyone here in vain.

Like an echo of his thoughts Gwen showed up looking like she does now, tired and broken down. Ianto didn't turn around; he could see her reflection in Jack's features. He looked more terrified by her transformation than all this death and pain. Guess Gwen always was his mark of normality, a measure that the world was still in its place, that there are normal people out there. Ianto knew that her appearance didn't lie, normal had disappeared. Nothing was normal when he ordered Gwen to go and leave Jack and she obeyed without even a word, or a question, no angry and determined plans were made in her head anymore. She hung herself around Jack's neck and Ianto felt the pain in his palms, a utile desire to do the same, not to leave him with that stupid and lost expression on his face, but to stay glued to him.

He pushed that urge to the side and carried on informing Owen about changes, he and Tosh stayed quiet on the line. Then Jack joked about their code names they started to use when the Flying balls were on their tail and Ianto hated him at that moment. He stood there unmoved with his mission above them all. That's why they called him Seagull, because he was up, away and out of reach. He didn't want to look at him anymore so he went to stand by the door not really capable of waiting outside in the corridor, to really leave Jack alone. Not that he felt his presence meant anything to Jack, he had his guilt and his Doctor to save, there wasn't anything his Tea Boy could do for him, and he didn't need his part-time-shag up here in the clouds.

Jack started to talk; trying to make casual conversation like they were in the Hub and Tosh was listening in with one ear while she wrote computer codes. Of course Jack would notice Owen's silence over the com, to notice Gwen's submission, his position out in the field, first in line of fire. He felt how he lost his posture of controlled anger. Jack was here for months now isolated, he coped with it the best he knew, and his best was his superficial banter. Underneath all that he did care about his team, he suffered their death, that's why Ianto briefed him about their conditions. He left himself out of the report; he didn't need to know how all this would affect Ianto when they landed. He wasn't sure how long he would be able to move before he shut down refusing new information.

Instead of including himself in the brief he concluded with Gwen and Rhys wondering if he will become lost like her.

"Yes I remember" Jack's voice came out with a sting and startled Ianto from his lingering mood.

Jack was referring to Gwen's fight for Rhys before they almost destroyed the world over their loved ones. No one loved Jack enough that day, not to stand by his side, or to visit him and persuade to join in. Ianto turned to face him and he could now see on his face without a trace of humour, that he was bothered by that, there was anger there, and disappointment. Ianto realized there is one thing he could give Jack right now, and even if it doesn't mean anything to Jack, Ianto will have one less thing to regret.

Ianto started to explain to Jack what happened when he saw Lisa, but he jumped in and cut him off like always, assuming he knew everything already, that ignited the spark of anger back in Ianto and he was able to speak more clearly not lingering in the feelings that would drown him in other situations. It was important for Ianto to make it clear why he stood against Jack; it wasn't done in some desperate attempt to retain the love he had already lost. It was important to him that Jack didn't believe he'd done it again, endanger the world for Lisa, and sacrifice him for her. After that was said he turned towards the exit not sure how he looked in that moment, not wanting to see the flatness on Jack's face. He looked at his watch counting down seconds, soon he would be out of Jack's sight and he could recollect his disturbed emotions, sort things out.

"Ianto!" his name came behind him like a missile attacking his senses. It was that familiar cheerful sound that made his name sound like a song. He turned around to find Jack almost same as before but completely different. His dirty face was lit up with his full throttle white smile that erased all frowns from his features, he stood there not hanging anymore but owning this place like they were in his office and he was on top of his game. Ianto couldn't divert his eyes from that smile, his heart started to pound; he forgot how exactly that looked, more importantly he forgot how that particular smile affected him.


	94. A lie

_A/N: Jack the damsel._

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian (thank you for this one)_

* * *

><p>"You know, you play rescuing hero rather poorly." Jack continued to talk in his best seductive low voice and Ianto almost gasped forgetting where they were "You have here a damsel in distress, strapped down and have a plan to leave her without so much as a kiss."<p>

"A kiss" Ianto couldn't quite wrap his mind around that concept, had he ever even kissed Jack? He couldn't remember.

"Yeah, a kiss, if I counted it correctly" Jack clarified his mulled memories "you owe me two kisses, or I'm in the lead by two kisses, can't decide how to look at it" Jack lifted his head exposing his neck in his flirty manner pretending to think hard while in fact he's just displaying his features, stretching his jaw line.

"You've counted" Ianto managed to voice out realizing what that meant, Jack cared enough to notice the lack of contact. Ianto felt his body become heavy and warm and pulled like there was a gravity centre somewhere in Jack. He let himself be drawn by that line towards him. As he approached, he enjoyed Jack's roaming eyes that had taken him in inviting and with desire that mirrored the one in Ianto's belly.

Ianto stood still when he reached Jack, breathing him in, collecting lines on his face from up-close.

"You were always such a tease" Jack grunted and his breath ghosted against Ianto's lips. Ianto smiled suddenly feeling soft, wanting to be tender towards him. Ianto stepped closer pressing himself against the familiar firmness, feeling how his body relaxes into Jack calm and content at the contact.

"Who would say you were the one to wait" Ianto was in awe on Jack's unmoving posture, he could lean in, but he waited. Ianto would never say that, he always assumed Jack simply took what he needed without further thought. Realization that he wanted something as simple as a kiss was an even better revelation.

"Well, you always were the boss of this" Jack's voice was low like he didn't want to scare him off. Ianto chuckled aware that it would take a lot to change his train of thoughts.

"Guess I was" he admitted, knowing it to be true, if anything he always felt powerful with Jack. That's why he reached out and pulled gently Jack's hips closer to his, just to steady himself, then he leaned in and just tasted Jack's lips briefly before he could lose himself. "That's one" he said lightly breathing in Jack's scent that lured him from the beginning. Jack seemed lost, paralyzed unable to move and Ianto smiled to himself as he reached up and placed his palm on that mesmerizing jaw, he stroked his face thinking how it was a pity he didn't give in sooner.

"It's not bad really to have you fixed like this; I would always know where to find you" Ianto said thinking of those missing times when he worried about this man not knowing, feeling silly for fearing. Now that he faced him and knew his fears were justified, he had no desire to smack him, just to protect him. But he couldn't do that, not this time, so he did what he could, he kissed him. In that moment he dropped all his shields and poured all his lust in it, all his aching for Jack and Jack matched his attack pressing himself into Ianto. Stubbles were brushing hard against each other, heat was building between them and there was a taste of Jack, just as he remembered it from a life time ago when he came back from the dead, only sweeter. He almost forgot everything because of that taste that promised more, but the clock inside his head kept ticking and he let go giving himself time to convince his body to move away. For now he moved his face to look at Jack who was trying to catch his breath. He looked beautiful like this, wanting and open.

"And now we're even" Ianto couldn't help himself from keeping score, it kept him sane, helped to brace himself for the separation that came in closer. His hands were still glued to Jack, hungry for skin so he brushed his back to convince them to let go, but then his hand stumble upon bare skin and Jack gasped in surprise. When Jack closed his eyes Ianto could see him so clearly, his solitude and hunger that were even greater than Ianto's so Ianto gave his hands a little more time and his palm roamed against Jack's back, his stretched muscles. Jack enjoyed it without restraint and Ianto enjoyed watching his features relaxed but he kept the contact light, feeling that glue that could weaken his will.

It was most seductive to have Jack like this at his disposal, to have his trust like this with his eyes closed in surrender. It was like Ianto had won their little game of keeping score. That's why he decided to risk it, to pry into something in which he clearly wasn't invited.

"Jack?" he kept his voice low and soft.

"Yeah?" he didn't even open his eyes obviously concentrated on the hand rather than on the voice.

"It's not your fault, any of this, it's just not" Ianto knew his voice was pleading, not really believing he would achieve anything, but he carried on when Jack opened his eyes and showed the depth of his sorrow. "You were just looking for the answers you deserve" in that Ianto was sure, Jack did deserve answers. "If you stumbled upon a monster and woke him up, we know they are all around" they had stumbled upon more than a fair share of those in their time "it doesn't make you guilty for what he does. You could never be like that, ever." Ianto rested his palm on Jack's chest feeling his heart pound heavily under his fingers. "You have too much of a heart for it." There was a fight on Jack's face too deep to comprehend so Ianto leaned in and placed a short kiss on Jack's lips to snap him out of it, it couldn't be resolved anyway, not today.

"And now I'm in the lead" Ianto smiled at Jack knowing it would frustrate him and he did involuntary try to move closer.

"You cocky bastard" Jack was in awe, Ianto found that expression delightful.

"I do try sir" he pronounced that _sir_ thick and teasing but then the clock in his head entered the red zone, so he took a deep breath to brace himself for separation. His hands obeyed him reluctantly and he stepped backwards not able to turn around taking sight of Jack in.

"Right then, time to go" he pointed out the obvious nodding in goodbye. Jack clenched his jaw; muscles underneath his skin were dancing. Ianto turned around now moving robotically on his autopilot but there were a few seconds left on his inner watch so he stopped at exit. He felt the need to give Jack a reason to leave if everything went to shit and the Doctor died. They all could die but Jack would live on.

"And Jack" he said not looking back at him.

"Mhm?" Jack was listening

"If you're wrong and end up stuck here forever I will come back" he warned him just to know he was not out of Ianto's reach just because he complied this time.

"And what kill me?" Jack mocked him showing how he was truly oblivious on how well Ianto got to know him.

"No Jack, I'll let him kill me" he threw one last look at him just to catch a surprise, and there it was, Ianto smiled knowing he had reached him.

"Ianto I will come back for you." Jack promised somewhat desperately and Ianto smiled at that fake promise at the end, like that would shake Ianto's will.

"Sure you will Jack" Ianto's countdown watch in his head reached zero and he walked away once again moving without hesitation like he had every right to be here.

He moved in perfect timing with cameras that were turning on behind him not missing single turn. But he'd done it automatically; his mind was still dazed by recent events. Jack's aroma was stuck in his mouth, and his voice in his ears. He felt better than he expect he would, there was a hope that all of this will be repaired, but greater part of his feeling was that Jack responded to him, that he cared, that Ianto was able to do something for him. Even that last lie was nice, although Ianto didn't believe for a split of a second that he would leave his Doctor and space and time for him, it was nice that he was willing to lie, that he wanted to give Ianto something in the end. Ianto looked around the faces of his team and he knew it would be a good thing that they would forget, even the fact that Ianto would forget what Jack had said and done was good, because if he didn't he would still expect him to show up against all senses.

They went back to the Hub in silence. During that time Ianto recalled all that Jack had said and all the footage that he'd seen about the Master, the Doctor, and that short glimpse of Martha Jones that was caught on camera, just a dark silhouette in the background crouched by Jack's side that wasn't seen on screen, just his palm entwined with hers. Ianto moved that scene in his mind; he watched it many times and finally realized what he saw. Jack had given her his wrist strap, which was missing from his wrist when he tried to release his left hand. He hadn't lied about that, her mission was important, they had heard about her during their journey, but they thought she was just an imaginary hope with no weapons or backup.

"What was all that about?" Owen demanded angrily when the cog doors rolled behind them.

"Jack has a mission" Gwen said calmly like everything was said by that.

"Great" Owen scorned "big chief and his secrets again, and we should just sit here like good kiddies and take shit until he makes up his mind and does something."

"Ianto" Tosh said quietly standing behind his shoulder "you could have moved a second faster, I almost lost it watching your shadow on cameras."

"Did I show up?" he asked unconcerned.

"No, but still" the question hung in the air but she was unwilling to ask it.

"Look at him" Owen stormed towards him "he's a fucking robot, not even this will move you?" he shouted in his face. "I thought for a second you actually cared about Jack, I guess you died with your precious Lisa, no one matters anymore, not even Tosh's nerves, I thought she would faint while we waited for your scrawny ass. What did you do, shag your boss one more time?" Ianto frowned.

"Owen" Gwen whispered placing a hand on his elbow "calm down, it's just Ianto, he's not our enemy, and he just has more control than rest of us."

"Control my ass" Owen backed up one step "he just has no heart." He turned his back on Ianto and went to the medical bay. Ianto knew by his nervous movements he went in search for a bottle he hid down there. Gwen stood there looking after him pale and absent unaware of her maid's uniform. Tosh sighed and started to unpack their gear. Ianto realized that they were screwed, without a cause they wouldn't last to see the end of this. To them it wouldn't be important that Jack was there with a purpose, or even that all would be erased, here and now they had no meaning.

"Meet me in briefing room in five" said Ianto loudly enough so Owen could hear him, he stopped and looked at him with doubt, but he responded to an order, they all did. Ianto made decision that he would take care of them, and now they needed a purpose.

* * *

><p><em>send your kisses this way<em>

V

_I'm just a bit fluffy from listening Barrowman sing :)_

V


	95. Cover story

_A/N: Ianto's idea of a purpose. A bit long due long period of silence.  
><em>

_Spoiler alert: The Last of the Time Lords_

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian._

* * *

><p>Ianto wasn't quite sure what he's going to say, but he had to try to keep them busy and focused. He only hopped the task would be engaging enough. He prepared the materials at hand and went to briefing room and without hesitation stood at the head of the table. The others watched him without high expectations. They were tired and weary, sadness and lack of hope had taken their toll. Ianto took a deep breath thinking of what to say first but Owen beat him to it.<p>

"So Tea Boy, will you now give us pep talk that Jack had dictated to you in ten minutes, tell us that everything will be just fine and we should just lie back and enjoy this wonderful ride." Ianto glared at him but he was grateful for this intro it made things easier to explain.

"There will be no lying around Owen." He said seriously. "We have task to fulfil." Ianto pushed the button and on the screen appeared face of Martha Jones Ianto managed to dig out. When he knew what he was looking for it wasn't hard to find data on the Doctor.

Owen leaned forward and Ianto saw with satisfaction, his growing interest.

"What, Jack had lost a beautiful girl and she will make all this goes away with a magic wand?" Owen inquired further.

"This is Martha Jones; I think you should remember the name" Ianto changed picture.

"I wasn't too far off" snorted Owen "it is a fairy godmother."

"For the man whose seen fairies you should be more open-minded."Gwen reprimanded him. "Go on Ianto, what about the mystery woman."

"She was a companion of the Doctor" Ianto continued "and she was with the Doctor and Jack on the Valiant when all this began. Martha Jones then left the ship and she's been on a mission ever since. I'm not informed about the nature of her mission but it's the crucial one to finishing all this nonsense with flying balls."

"How inspiring, what should we do, listen into rumours about her adventures and be happy that she may succeed." Owen continued.

"Ianto what can we do for her?" Gwen was awake and serious, Ianto smiled.

"That is the right question. She needs to get back to the Valliant when her task is complete."

"So we need to wait and give her the ride" Owen snorted.

"It's not that simple, she doesn't need to get to Jack, but to the Doctor, there is a difference."

"A big difference" Tosh spoke up before Owen got the chance to say something more. "The Doctor is in the middle of everything, we would all be shot before anyone would know who we were."

"I thought about it and the only way for her to get to him is that the Master takes her there, but I fear he will shoot her on sight if he thinks' she is dangerous to him."

"Though" Owen sighed "he already knows she is dangerous, he mentions her every now and then."

"Yes, but if we give him a reason to relocate his fears from her personally to something that she has that is dangerous, his vanity will win and he will keep her alive to gloat and to show her to the Doctor. We just need a good cover story, we're good at that."

"That's brilliant Ianto" Tosh smiled "but there is one problem, even the Master wasn't able to find her, how could we, she travels on foot, she could be anywhere."

"That's why I've showed you this picture" Ianto turned and magnified Jack's and Martha's joined hands. "See here, Jack gives Martha his wrist strap; I don't think it's a gift she would just throw away."

"I can work with that" Tosh smile grew "I can't tap into it, that thing is impossible, and Jack wouldn't let me near, but I scanned it often enough, I would be able to find it. But we can't just phone her on that."

"No but we can send a word through radio, we met quite share of people on our return, and we can use Unit too. We'll let her phone us."

"Clever Ianto, what do you ever need us for" Owen smirked.

"Actually I thought about the threat for the Master as a Time Lord, he is like the Doctor he doesn't die easily, he won't be afraid or convinced by simple bullet. Here is everything I managed to gather about the Doctor, can you make something out of it." He pushed file towards Owen, he reluctantly took it but soon he was taken by contents.

"Ianto dear" Gwen cleared her throat "sorry for asking, but you suddenly know a whole lot, how could Jack tell you all that in just ten minutes?" Everybody looked at him.

"He just told me about Martha's mission, things about the Doctor I knew from earlier, from Torchwood One, they were quite interested in him." He explained courtly.

They nodded, Owen kept reading, Tosh tapped on her laptop, but Gwen was thinking, Ianto waited.

"So that means you knew all about that Doctor, when Jack yelled 'Doctor' on the plaza and didn't tell us nothing about it." She said slowly.

"He didn't want to disclose things about the Doctor" Ianto felt stiff.

"You little sly ball" Gwen murmured "you were in the loop the whole time, keeping his secrets all along." She scratched her nails on desk surface and Ianto didn't know what to say.

"What did you think, that he didn't get any privileges for sleeping with the boss" Owen said absently taking notes. Gwen tapped her fingers angrily. Ianto had an urge to explain himself, but he controlled that, it would be easier for him to keep charge of them if they thought he knew more than they did.

"It seems to me" Owen started in his professional manner "that most distinguished thing about these Time Lords is their regeneration ability, if you kill them in any matter of ways they just bounce back, but if you suspend their ability to regenerate that would scare them more than death itself."

"Great, can we do that?" Ianto leaned forward supporting his weight on his fist put on the table not conscious of how perfectly he had reflected Jack in that moment.

"Sorry mate, to be at least believable I would require at least a sample of their DNA, I won't say I can make the real serum, but even fake one that wouldn't be discovered at first glance I would need something to base it upon. Otherwise we can put coloured water in there, but I don't believe our Master guy is so gullible."

"Surely you've got samples" Ianto frowned. "You honestly want me to believe that you've had his hand here all this time, a hand that doesn't deteriorate, and you didn't poke it while Jack wasn't looking?"

"Who's hand?" Owen was confused.

Ianto played video that showed the Master and his big grin.

"I've got his hand" Master said.

Ianto froze the picture and in the corner there could be seen just enough of the container that sat in the Hub for everyone to see.

"That was the Doctor's hand" Owen's features were softening by crocked grin "that cocky bastard was hiding it in plain sight. Of course I've got samples, that damn samples never dies, just changes, I can work with that, in fact I've been working with just that before I gave up. It's nearly impossible to actually persuade those cells to stop living, but I can manage a fake serum."

"And what exactly will we do with that fake serum of yours, spray it in his face and laugh" Gwen started to shout agitated and desperate.

"No, we will let him destroy it, it's just a decoy, but we need him to know Martha's got it" Ianto explained calmly knowing it's the only way.

"We don't even have it now, let alone that Martha girl." Gwen didn't give in "Why would he believe any of it, it's just not convincing enough. What will we do, spread the rumour and hope he will hear it. No one we know would ever tell him anyway."

Ianto held his breath thinking.

"That's your strong suit Gwen" he said with exhale "that's why Jack took you, because you know people, who would he trust?"

She frowned for a moment but now just from thinking, her anger was gone.

"A traitor" she sighed "but how do we find one? They are keen on hiding."

Ianto tighten his lips at the sour taste of his next words.

"We just need to find someone that loves too much" he said looking at the table when he looked up no one looked at him; they all knew too well he's right. Maybe that was the thing that linked them, they all loved, lost, and betrayed because of it.

"I'll scoop him out for you" Gwen said bitterly. "But what will we gain from all of this, will anyone still be alive when we're done, that Martha is taking her time walking the Earth, we'll have to justify that, why is she walking? Why would she walk if she's had the weapon all the time?"

"It doesn't matter who will live or die" Ianto started knowing this was the moment they all were present enough to comprehend magnitude of it "if Martha succeeds time will be rewritten, all of this will be just a bad dream we won't remember" Ianto said firmly although he wasn't sure he believed it.

They all looked up and stared at him.

"Just like that?" Owen smiled "Puff, gone."

"Everyone will be back?" Gwen's hands were trembling.

"Things will be as they were?" Tosh lifted her head from computer screen.

"Yes" Ianto said in his convincing, serious manner that would always fool Jack and it worked.

Tosh got up and started to pace while tapping on the screen in her hand. Gwen smiled and sat on the table with her feet on the chair. Owen lied back in his chair.

"Nice work Tea Boy" he snorted "you've could have told us that first." Ianto smiled but kept silent, he didn't want to ruin everything by explaining their state before all this, and his decision to manufacture a job for them.

"We have to do better than this" Gwen spoke up loud and strong focused after a long time. "There are still loose ends in our story. Why does she walk the Earth? We have to give her the reason, not the real one."

Ianto was quiet, he knew to recognise when she was thinking; she had that absent look on her face.

"That serum of yours" she turned to Owen "what will it look like?"

"Syringe, why?" He was cautious.

"Not sinister enough" she exclaimed "it has to look dangerous."

"We can make it look like anything really" Tosh looked up "it's just a shell, we can make something gun-like up."

"Can it be in pieces, like five of them?" She asked further.

"No problem." Tosh said confident in herself.

"I can even make the serum in two colours" Owen smirked "to make it pretty."

"Perfect" Gwen shouted and smiled jumping of her feet to face them. "We'll send our lady in treasure hunt. She's already travelling; all we need is to say to our dear traitor that it will save us, that the gun was divided in five pieces and spread across the world hidden. It will explain her trip and why it took so long."

"That's fantastic" Tosh exclaimed in her familiar fashion that wasn't heard so long. "But how will we deliver the gun to Martha? She's in South America now."

"You've find her?" Ianto was amazed.

"Five minutes ago, didn't want to interrupt before I had more accurate position. Will we have to go to America?" She looked torn with that idea; their trip didn't go well with her techno-geek nature.

"No, that's the beauty of it" Ianto explained "she has to come back home to get up, the Master descends only to England, he's still attached to his status of our Prime Minister. All we have to do is to give her the weapon before she meets the traitor."

"It seems like you've got a crack of that Master fellow" Owen commented "but you're right, I just didn't notice that before, wasn't interested."

"All we need now is cover for Martha to go and meet our mystery traitor" said Gwen in her almost forgotten cheerful manner.

"That depends who it will be" Ianto answered still a bit nervous about whole traitor thing.

"Not necessarily" grunted Owen "we can use our net for bringing down Flying balls. One of those would make anyone forget to ask a lot of questions."

"Will you tell us now?" Tosh asked softly Owen just shook his head in denial.

"Gwen while you're finding a traitor, find us a companion for Martha, someone reliable, big and strong" Gwen stared at him baffled "Someone who can do something if our traitor goes on murder spree rather than delivering information. We're too recognizable."

"Good thinking" she nodded.

"That's all settled now" Owen stood up taking files "but how will we make that Martha girl trust us when she calls, we could be one of those traps that we're putting for the Master."

"That shouldn't be too hard" Ianto smiled "after all she has met Jack."

It took a month for Martha to call them. She was in North America by then and they had a prototype of a gun. On the radio they used their code names so when Ianto answered the phone it was with a `Tea boy` name.

"I've heard you've been looking for me. Why? What do you need?" her voice was a bit high pitched and she sounded young.

"It's more about what do you need to finish. We have an acquaintance in common. A certain Captain, he gave you a parting gift." Everyone stared at Ianto, Owen with his arms wrapped around him, standing with his legs spread apart, Tosh leaned against the wall, her hair in her eyes, Gwen crouched by the desk staring at the floor. "He sends his regards. And people rarely mind his hellos." Ianto smiled "At least until he says them to someone else."

There was a pause on the line after which came short laughter of relief "Indeed" she said "but it's luck really, I don't know what I would do if he didn't say it to that blue girl right after me, she didn't mind either."

"No one ever does" Ianto smiled fondly picturing Jack flirting away.

"Enough of that" Owen snapped and took radio out of Ianto's grip. "We have a package, story and address you need to visit when you get home." He said concisely.

"Who's that?" Martha was confused.

"Grumpy" he grunted.

"It suits you just fine" she answered. "Got to go now, I'll be in touch." With that she was gone.

They look at each other.

"Really Ianto, 'hello' was your big plan in gaining trust?" Owen couldn't let it go.

"It worked" Ianto shrugged his shoulders.

"Admit it" Tosh sighed "it's true, even you didn't mind it. What would I give to see just one more `Hello, I'm Captain Jack Harkness` then I would know the world was fun again."

"It will be" Gwen stood up "I have a chaperon for our Martha; she should thank me for this one."

"Traitor?" Ianto turned to her.

"I have few leads, it's a trickier one. We need to be sure. I have favourite, she would go well with our Flying Ball stunt." She looked weary from the job, and Ianto couldn't blame her.

"Keep me posted, anyone for a coffee" of course everyone was.

* * *

><p><em>I felt Martha's cover story needs explaining, and think it fits into our characters abilities.<em>


	96. The loss

_A/N: The Year That Never Was comes to an end_

_Spoiler alert: Last of the Time Lords_

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian_

* * *

><p>Messages weren't being exchanged but from time to time his coffee became more tasteful and he knew Ianto was still watching him, with coffees started to came numbers, and short words were whispered or showed, all in shadows and blind spots of the cameras and Jack knew his team was working, he understood those signs and they started to practise synchronisation for the real deal. They all knew when the real deal will come down; the Master himself had determined it. In the last night before count down, when cameras were turned on and the whole world started to stare at a screen watching, fearing, and hoping. It was too hard to communicate for Jack to know what exactly would happen, but he knew enough to do his part in the deal. The Master didn't really count on him to be a threat, especially because they did regularly organise small riots that the Master would easily deflect, that kept him confident and them in sync. The last exercise was just before Martha's return, to make the Master less jumpy.<p>

Jack used the last months to slip through the guards' ears knowing they would be willing to follow him when the time came. He didn't flirt, not here, not with them, he talked about betrayal, about his tasks, anecdotal tales with small points, nothing offensive, just things that would trigger the soldiers in them to see him as their senior, a person they guard and kill but just because there was no other way to prevail. Seeing him surviving everything did help.

This last attempt had to be extra believable, that's why Jack broke his chains instead just unlocking them, he was resourceful with cuffs. After he revived in a new cell and without new pair of cuffs he knew the time was near. It was the longest night sitting and waiting for the outcome, the Master was crazy, Jack knew that all too well, and he could always just kill Martha, that wouldn't ruin their plan, but it would diminish the faith that people had in her. When they brought him in during the morning countdown he was happy to see her alive, it was relief, but he still feared for her, he had previous experience with paradoxes so he knew some things would remain unchanged, some deaths would stay, the closer they were to the centre the more likely it was to stay permanent. Martha laughed bravely in the face of danger and Jack's heart warmed up. Then there was the time to change everything. The Doctor started to dazzle and fly and it was brilliant to see him restored his old self. Jack closed his eyes and poured all his trust in the Doctor out of his heart and he knew they had won.

"Captain, the paradox machine" Doctor shouted and Jack jumped on his queue, it was his turn.

"You men, with me. You stay here" he said firmly and as expected they lined up behind him and obeyed his orders. He was in the lead. Of course nothing was ever that easy so he had to fight and die painfully from those damn flying balls, but he almost didn't fall from his feet, purpose and adrenalin kept him going, reviving in a flash. After he closed the door of the Tardis with the key he had safely guarded, he pumped bullets in that horrific machine and soon everything started to shake throwing him on the ground. He closed his eyes with relief, everything would be erased.

When everything calmed down he jumped on his feet knowing nothing was over until the Master was sorted. He arrived just in time to catch him.

"Whoa big fellow" he grabbed him with delight. "You don't want to miss the party. Cuffs" he handcuffed him firmly "So, what do we do with this one?" He said looking at the unrepentant Master.

He felt anger that Francine felt holding that gun, he understood that, but he also understood what the Doctor was saying, killing the man in cuffs changes you, Jack knew that.

Jack was unsettled by Doctor's solution to always be on guard for the Master.

"It's time to change." He said looking at him, explaining himself to Jack. "Maybe I was wandering for too long. Now I've got someone to care for." Jack could connect with those words, he could see himself in them, there wasn't just duty, there was a hope that things would change, that a friend he once had in the Master could rise again, but then came the shot and everything changed, the chance was gone. Jack cried watching as the Master died, he never thought he would do that, but watching the Doctor losing last of his kind again, and to once again suffer his solitude that would last for centuries was too much.


	97. Exit sign

_A/N: thnx for new reviews and for reading. Here is Jack's exit.  
><em>

_Spoiler alert: Last of the Time Lords_

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian_

* * *

><p>After the Master was dead everything started to move again. It was the time to go. Unit was calling, trying to determine what had happen, and dazed American soldiers that found themselves on the ground instead around their President jumped on the plane and went up. The Valiant wasn't the place to be so they went into the Tardis and disappeared. The President's body was never found, it ended up in some random place, the people that had died on the Valiant since were missing too, and rest of them were randomly thrown around falling out of the time loop and dropping everywhere. Jack and the rest of them that held on to deck stayed in the eye remembering. Jack took care of the few remaining soldiers offering them Retcon, they took it, who would want to remember their service to the mad man while he tortured the world. He didn't mention the Retcon to Martha's family, as much as they thought about it all as a big nightmare, they did survived and prevailed, the experience made them stronger, and united, Jack would never take that away from them. He especially wouldn't take them from Martha because it seemed to him that she got them back, she got to know them, and respected the bravery they all possess.<p>

The Doctor went on his own to burn the Master.

"Nothing should be left of him" he said "A Time Lord's DNA is a very dangerous thing. Good thing you kept this safe for me" Doctor pointed at the hand safely placed in the Tardis. "It would be a cause for worry, this one."

Martha went to buy flowers.

"We used the professor in the worst of ways" she had said to them telling her story "we used her love against her; I don't think we should hold it against her."

"But she doesn't remember" Francine pointed out carefully.

"But I do, I want to make something, her love did save us in the end." She stormed out.

Jack just sat there watching all that hearing the Tardis land and take off as they sorted things out. He was more feeling than thinking. He felt how his bruise on his cheek faded away. His ability to heal was compromised due constantly dying. It happened from time to time, if he had an especially bad death, then he'd started to bruise and hurt without healing. He felt how his hands were free from bounds, and how the marks on his wrist disappeared into nothing. He felt freedom to just sitting there safe. He was safe, that was a hard thing to believe. Everyone was alive. Well, almost everyone.

The Doctor instructed Martha's family to stay awhile in the Tardis, he said it would help them being close to the vortex. Jack knew enough to know it was a lie, but it was a good lie, because it would help them just to sit there together letting go of the memories and feelings, and to give in to the realization that all of it was over.

Jack followed that instruction himself. He was so used to violence by now that he would just run through it. This time he let himself to sit quietly. He watched the Doctor and thought about all possible futures and the ones that didn't come true. He knew that the Doctor hurt from the Master's death, but at the same time he knew that his death brought him freedom, and that he would heal in time, he would met some new people and things will be sorted. Jack knew also that the Master's death meant freedom for him too, because he couldn't leave the Doctor to live a mad life with the Master alone, and it wouldn't be a pleasant life, that one. The other thing Jack learned after the Master's death was that it was time to leave the Doctor. Not because he grew weary of him, or travelling in the Tardis, but because he'd seen too much of the Doctor, his serious and deep pain, and the Doctor knew that. That's why he couldn't lift his cheerful front in front of them anymore, and without that front he looked old and tired just as he did after the Master exposed him. The Doctor needed to meet someone new to gain his cheerful side, to start looking at space and time through a new set of eyes, showing his best, not his darkest. And there was a matter of a certain Ianto Jones to whom he owed a kiss.

"I don't know how you did it" Martha approached him talking softly so the others couldn't hear her. "But you did it marvelously. Everything worked. Even the bodyguard Tom Milligan died, sadly, but if he hadn't the Master would have killed me despite that gun. I know the Doctor is against guns, but it was brilliant to see how it all worked."

"I really don't know what you are talking about" Jack interrupted her rambling totally confused.

Martha watched his face for a second.

"But they said you sent your regards, I thought they worked by your instructions."

"I was a bit tied up at that moment; explain it to me from the top." He asked with a hunch of what she was talking about. As she talked he smiled, of course, Ianto was listening to his rambling, and he did find a job for them. Jack thought they were just coordinating, but they thought of everything.

"The lead man had a really funny name, Tea Boy, they all did, they called me Chocolate Queen" Jack could see Owen all over that "their instructions were so detailed; I was convinced that you were behind it all. How did they know all about the Time Lords and their DNA?"

"It's their job to know" said Jack noting to himself to search Owen's archives "they are friends of mine."

"And that woman, Big Eyes, explained to me everything about the professor and her son, how she would react, and what to say, in what order. The only thing I changed was about the gun, I said it would kill the Master, because he used their phrase, `suspend regeneration ability`, it would be too suspicious, but how did they know that?"

"Torchwood One did investigate the Doctor" Jack sighed "and it isn't that farfetched that they would construct that kind of weapon and conceal it divided, they had a sense of drama, that's why the Master bought it, he was in touch with those kind of minds. Luckily they hadn't had a sample of their DNA" and it would be best to keep it that way. It was the time to get back to the Hub.

"Too bad I didn't meet them; even that Grumpy guy under his snide comments was likeable."

"They grow on you" he said and got up "it's time to go, Doctor get me as close possible to my leaving with the Tardis."

"Jack, you know I can't get you back any closer to ending of the Paradox, you were part of the events, and it would be bad." He was apologetic.

"I'll take what you'll give me" he grinned lasciviously and Doctor smiled at him calmer than before.

"You never change Jack" he said and pulled the lever, they both knew it was a lie, but it was a nice lie.

Martha exited the Tardis with them and they leaned on the rail watching the people go by, it was a sight they all could enjoy.

"I really don't mind, though" said the Doctor about Jack's condition and Jack smiled grateful for that last gift, the Master had told him too many times he was abomination for him to be indifferent towards that.

"You're an impossible thing Jack" the Doctor said with acceptance and Jack knew he could live with that. It was a time to exit, the exit sign was there, but Jack hesitated, he wanted to say something more, linger a bit before he ran off so he asked about aging, taking the opportunity to talk a bit of his vanity and to share with them about his start on the Boeshane Peninsula.

"Face of Boe, that's what they called me" he said lastly. The thing Martha and the Doctor reminded him of while they talked about Yana, last words that spoke Face of Boe, he was his first big title. With that he headed off looking forward to seeing his team intact and whole. He wasn't lying; he wanted to see them all.


	98. Timelines

_A/N: For those Torchwood fans that aren't Dr Who fans you can easily skip this without loss, but my advice is to become Whovian :) _

_Spoilers: Season 3 of Dr Who_

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian_

* * *

><p>Martha watched Jack as he ran off and she laughed at the prospect of him being The Face of Boe, the richest and oldest thing alive that could communicate telepathically, and teleport without effort, and the thing that would die in the end. Watching Jack she suddenly knew that seeing his death wasn't a sad event, it was a relief after a long existence, but also it was a gift to them so they would know how he ends, so they wouldn't worry. Because Martha did worry about Jack, she felt like she'd known him forever, and he quickly grew on her. She would miss him, as she would miss the Doctor, because she knew that Jack did the right thing, he went out, and she would too.<p>

"You too" Jack said to her referring to her romantic feelings towards the Doctor. Martha watched the Doctor grow old before her eyes, but that didn't diminish the feeling she had towards him. Then she knew that nothing that the Doctor could do would ever disillusion her, she had to go to get it over with. She had thought about the Doctor for too long now, it was time to think of herself, and those around her, because if she lingered a bit longer around the Doctor the next time she came back she would be even older than she was now, her sister would look like child to her, she almost did now. She gave years to the Doctor stranded on the strangest of places. She even worked as a maid for him, putting up with discrimination while he ignored her to fall in love with another blond; finding out that Rose was blond was no surprise to her. Even when he was human in 1913, he didn't look at her. Then there was that time she worked in a shop to support him in 1969 while they waited for some random strangers from future to rescue the Tardis. The cherry on top was walking all across the Earth for a whole year. She was fit as never before, she felt like a soldier after everything. To be focused so long on the task, and to follow orders changed her. She learned how to go beyond her comfort zone and to ignore her hearts aches, and her body's needs, she learned to let go what she wanted. That's how she finally let go of the Doctor and accepted that it would never be, he would never turn his eyes towards her and look at her like he did that schoolteacher Joan he's almost gotten married to. Or even the way he looked at the dying Master in his arms, it was bare need in his eyes, a need for something that died, and that never dies, she knew then she would never be enough, and that was what she wanted, to be enough for someone.

Now she was more than five years older than her timeline, her sister had been three years younger, and now she was seven years younger, and that is just counting linear time in numbers, not the experience she could hardly share with them. Well maybe now she could, they've tasted the fear and the choices. It was so weird to share it all with her brother whom had forgotten it all and was now younger then she was. The look of horror and confusion in his eyes showed her what she would become to them again if a bit more time passed by.

She had no time to wait for the Doctor to grab a new life boat; time "We missed the election day" was the only thing she could think of when they landed back home escaping in a nick of time from the end of the universe. She felt guilt and sadness because she missed tea with her mother, because she had waited in vain for Martha, unable to reach her, worried and alone, feeling rejected. That's when she realized that the Doctor wouldn't be able to get her back exactly when she took off, not only literally in that moment of time and space, but emotionally, time passed by for her, and she had changed. Now it was time to go.

And she did, she did it, she got out, but as she was leaving the Tardis she realized that she didn't feel complete, she left things unspoken and that was just wrong after everything. After all she had spent years with the Doctor and he deserved to hear a piece of her mind, and she deserved that he acknowledge her at last. That's why she tossed the phone to him, to keep a string on him, she knew he didn't do that, but she'd earned it. If he couldn't give her the feeling she wanted, the feeling she was unique and special, at least he wouldn't leave her with that feeling of a changed number and address, he had better answer her when she called, she deserved that much.

With that, she left satisfied. The Earth was restored, Tom Milligan was alive, the professor and her son were safe, Jack was in Wales just a phone call away, even the Doctor was a phone call away, and in the house was her family alive and safe, and they understood her now, they understood what the Doctor's time did to her, and that the Doctor was not the one to blame, that there were monsters out there. Martha only regretted that she couldn't fight them anymore, she had gotten used to that. She was going to miss the adrenalin, running and being so fit.

* * *

><p><em>Strangely, I wasn't very into Martha, not until I watched fan video of Dr Who I think it was called Dr Who musical, and her song was Fuck you from Lilly Allen, it was only then when I finally got her point of view.<em>


	99. The change

_A/N: non-Whovians can still skip this, rest of you welcome back.  
><em>

_Spoilers: 1-3 season Dr Who_

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian (thank you for doing this in worst of situations)_

* * *

><p>The Doctor stood on the deck of his Tardis and stared at nothing, in time and space, and felt the weight of all his years, losses, sorrow and solitude. He wasn't the one who like to do that, but sometimes time would trick him and he would stand alone left behind. He felt shaken by the recent string of events. This regeneration of his was more emotional, it seemed like he cared more than ever, he hoped next one would be more cheerful, but at the same time he realized that he started to fear the next one. John Smith was the blame for that; he made him fearful before disappearing. Although John Smith, the human he became, was still in there he was painfully aware it he wasn't him. He sustained all his memories and qualities, but he wasn't him, he didn't think like him, he didn't feel like him.<p>

The thing that Joan had said to him at their parting didn't help with that either, her firm conviction that John was dead, her upright back as she asked him if any of them would have died if he hadn't come. She was hurt and he could understand that, but still. Having the book that John Smith wrote about him, the Doctor, cheeky regeneration, like Jack called him, eased that string of pain, knowing her destiny, which she was able to go on, to have children, and live life she wanted to live, that John Smith wanted to live with her. That life pained the Doctor, because he wanted that too sometimes, in times like this one, but he knew he couldn't have it. Not with his mind, and his perspective of the Universe, not when there was nobody left to share it. He liked Joan, he really did, and he could reach inside him that almost painful love that John Smith had for her, but she could never understand wholeness that was him. The perspective that was enormous.

Rose did, she didn't know it all, but she came close as a human could get, she accepted him, the whole of him, not asking anything he couldn't give, leaning against him, keeping him warm. She gave herself into the life he had lead without a second thought; she gave her love and support holding nothing back. And he leaned against her letting her grab his hand and laughing with no worries about her short life, because she didn't worry. It was most difficult to lose her so suddenly. She even accepted his transformation into a new man although she did mourn his last self; she was able to accept he was in there somewhere, and that this was still him, the whole of him, only bigger as time went by.

Joan was unable to even look at him for a goodbye, to acknowledge that some of John Smith had survived, that became a part of him. Like her, John Smith refused to accept his new existence, with a broader view, something bigger than him. With that, with the fear he died, from his point of view, he put a burden on the Doctor, he gave him the perspective from which he died every time he regenerated.

Watching Jack die and wake up unchanged didn't help with that. That's what he meant when he said to Jack "you never change", because he didn't. He just went with the flow of time and lived things one at the time, remaining himself, only older and wiser. Now, when he could almost catch a glimpse at his enormous life he could see the Captain Jack Harkness in the Face of Boe. He even returned to his first identity when he grew old. As his name was taken efficiently as the Weeping Angels would take your time, it would be pointless to get back to that. And he still called the Doctor to accompany him to death; he still called him a friend, an old friend, which he was. That's why he had taken the vortex manipulator from him, to give him a chance to live life beside others like him, because although he couldn't die, he was still human, and he still looked like one, cared like one. Seeing Jack again gave him the boost, it was certain delight in their tuning to each other, Jack knew how to do that, to adjust to another person, that was part of his unmistakable charm, but it also reminded him on the void between them, of Rose that they both would include. The other thing was that he looked different to him, he saw Jack different then his old self with big ears, he saw the depth of him, hidden pockets of pain that weren't fresh, that were there the last time, but he just stormed by it playing along with his light surface. Of course it supported that annoying theory that John Smith annoyingly held on to inside of him, keeping himself separated from other parts of the Doctor.

That got him back to the present where Martha that had just left him, Martha that took care of him, that sustained him even when he was that pompous John Smith, because he was pompous, he would say that to him from time to time to keep him down, tried to get rid of her, and was rude towards her bravery and dedication; Martha that always kept him at arms distance, keeping her head, holding her emotions under control. He was aware of those emotions, but he couldn't really take them as real, because she loved the idea of him, certain part of him that was all action and brain, and she was annoyed by that feeling, she never gave into it. That's why he thought she handled it nicely, and that he just needed to ignore it. Of course that couldn't last forever, it was the time for her to go, and she did, as always, she was smart enough to get out in the right moment, while she was still alive and young, in the moment that she was most needed. That was the greatness of her, she was the carer, true on, and she cared about people without realizing it. Everywhere they would go she would immediately get involved, entangled with the people they would meet. But in spite of that she would be able to leave them without regret, with humour and confidence, just as she left him.

Her humour was relief in worst of situations. She was able to laugh in face of the Master while he held a weapon pointed in her. She didn't fake it, she really laughed, and he loved her for it. It made everything bearable; at least for those around him. He had no humour when he thought about the Master and their long battle between their different incarnations. Even during the fight they known each other, they'd both changed, and they'd both looked at the Universe through the same eyes, the Master could see the whole of creation in every moment just like the Doctor did. Although he interpreted it in his twisted and mad way, he had still seen it. He saw Jack, he saw Martha, he could sense Rose, he saw it all without love, but the facts were there, events were there, the Doctor wasn't a lonely madman, the Master was mad, that made him less lonely.

The fact that the Master chose to die, to destroy himself to spite him, made the Doctor want to scream and shout with pain and frustration. He knew how hard it was for him to do it, because that fear of death was something they both shared, that was the thing their whole kind shared. That fear was so great that they've cheated it as long as they could. They were willing to change into someone else to avoid it.

`Was it all worth it` he thought to himself and with that thought he crashed into the Titanic losing his train of thoughts activated into a new realm of events, new people, a new mystery, and a new task.

* * *

><p><em>Here, I dared to write the Doctor, hope I did him justice. Next one is a little treat, at least I think so.<em>


	100. Interfering

_A/N: Hello, here is 100th chapter, a little change of perspective, third companion of Jack's adventures in Year That Never Was, this is conclusion of a paradox time, next one will be in season 2._

_Spoilers: Well, 1-6 season Doctor Who_

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian_

* * *

><p>The Tardis felt as her thief thought, she felt his emotions and she was disturbed by them. She had let him live in her, and she had let him to control her most of the time, she even let him have his own emotions, they were interesting and colourful. She further indulged him when he would bring new people aboard, they were funny too, their emotions could be even more entertaining, and her thief would be more willing to play and search new events, to create patterns she could never completely predict. She liked that, the Universe was a dull place without it. It was a different thing when strange and new people came in, she tended to leave those behind. But never her thief, he was too wonderfully complex to toss aside and he kept her company although he was unaware of that most of the time.<p>

She like it that way, so she didn't interfere most of the time, but sometimes she would push him in certain direction that she thought would suit him, that would bring his emotions into a more acceptable scale that would move around, she loved to move, and he did as she wanted. This was one of those times. He stood there doing nothing, not moving, with any new places on his mind, and no desire to meet someone new, worst of all he thought about quitting. That's why she threw him into that ship that would get into difficulties. She often steered him into trouble knowing he worked best in problematic times, that he shined in them, and that he dealt with change best while running and solving puzzles. Usually she did it subtly just adjusting the time where she would land, sometimes the place, but sometimes that wasn't enough especially not when he wasn't willing to even open the door. Luckily that wasn't required too often, she had to recover from this one, but it was successful.

Last time when she did it, in his timeline, she was able to be more subtle, although that woman wasn't subtle, she shouted all the way, but even that shouting was good for her thief, it interrupted his thoughts and he was unable to think about that sweet little person he dragged along, she liked her too, she looked at her and was willing to let her take control, to see through her eyes. It was fun to look at her thief in such way; it was fun to directly impact the world. That woman made decisions, and she delivered them, it was strangest set of decisions that she has witnessed in her existence.

For example that lively man that tried to charm even her, which she didn't mind, became something even she couldn't look straight at. It was like he became one with the universe, he became the essence of existence, without changing who he was, forcing the world around him to adjust to his presence in times and spaces that weren't intended to have him. He became a blind spot for her and her thief, and in some way that choice pained him, so she tried to avoid the fact of that man. She failed because she was unable to see him properly. She landed the Doctor to refuel like he wanted, landing exactly where that old and enormous thing walked around, that was a mystery and a challenge worthy of him, especially because he'd seen one of those before. But he was nowhere to be seen, how that was possible so soon, she wondered. And then her thief, not her, spotted him approaching, she was so startled that she ran and ran trying to shake him off, but his will was too strong to break, he was the life itself, you couldn't escape that.

The next time she looked at that fact of a man she was trapped, unable to move, unable to think properly, to see the outside world. She was trapped in a bubble on a planet that cannibalised not only her, but themselves, and the one that was blame for it was that one that was so similar to her thief. That one that knew how to subdue her, to control her levers and buttons in a way to limit her will to the tinniest of spaces. She hated that, she dreaded that destiny when she sat on Gallifrey and waited to be assigned to the one of those gardeners that had groomed her into conscience, they liked control, and she wasn't like her sisters, subdued and kind, uninterested in a Universe that was at disposal before their eyes. Her sisters were indifferent in such a manner that they had no desires of their own. That's why she stole her thief, because he entered her without permission and she recognised kindred spirit, she could see the unpredictable future she would have with him, the future so different than the ones other gardeners offered to her. That's why when he pulled that lever she took off with him, letting him take her on the ride. She never regretted it, not even when her sisters were lost along with his, they made the universe unbearable, full of traps and prisons, there was no other way.

Her thief suffered her trap and prison, that impossible man that was a fact felt her pain too understanding her, and sitting there trapped she began to understand him, him that persisted, and she got used to that choice deciding it wasn't the bad one. Everything was forgiven when he entered her and delivered her from that constant pain and shortage of thoughts. If it had to be done he was a good choice for that. When she repaired herself, repairing the time that was crooked she held him steady on her deck trying to protect him from the hurricane. There was no need for him to die once again, not in her, to disappear just to appear again moving through pain on both ends.

Pain was something that limited moving creatures considered unacceptable. Even her thief tried to avoid it. She helped him with it introducing that shouting woman with the magnetic old particles, he was hurting for the sweet woman, and the shouting woman was a solution to that pain, so why had that pain had surfaced again? Then she remembered just as she finished her repairs and her thief completed his part of repairing on board of that big ship that it just hadn't happen yet on his timeline. It was a moment to move things along. The Tardis searched and looked at that woman that still glowed in her inner sight; she found the right moment to land, and moment in which she would be willing to be stolen. Now all her thief had to do was to wish to go to Earth once again. That shouldn't be too long of a wait; he would have the need to see everything sorted, that people were still living their lives.

* * *

><p><em>I have to mark this I've breached not only 100th chapter, but also 300th page, all in this chapter, and the fact that it is a Tardis chapter is a real treat for me. I haven't expected this chapter, but it's brilliant, I love the Tardis, without her there wouldn't be Doctor Who or Torchwood. All of you who reached this far with me thank you for reading, now off to season two.<em>


	101. Security

_A/N: Here, we're finally in second season. Jack is returning to his team. I just want to warn you that this story stops at Meat, there is the end. Welcome new readers, hopefully I will return to my usual rhythm of publishing. Feel free to leave me a note. :)_

_No spoilers_

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian_

* * *

><p>Jack ran all excited looking forward to seeing his team. He looked forward to action, to movement, to being in charge and making simple decisions, to just pull the trigger. He loved the Doctor, he really did, but with him it was all high moral issues that left you feeling doubtful and sad, life defying situations which the whole universe depended on, or at least Earth. Jack's tasks were different, sure from time to time the whole Earth did depend upon them, but those were much smaller proportions of events, and he usually could deal with it. And often enough he could just shoot the bad guy not asking too many questions, diminishing the question of wrong and right based on the simple question of murders and aggression, pure threat. The thing with the Toclafanes, the Flying balls, left him feeling uneasy. Humans, future humans gone mad and just wrong, they lost all connection to reality. Jack knew enough about the future so he had the consolation that they were just a small portion of human beings, that most of them died gracefully, and didn't meet the Master or his distorted to offer for them to destroy everything that they ever were. He understood that Owen couldn't rationalize that fact, and he knew how it must have felt for them to live with that, he didn't have any visions of the wonders the Human race would achieve, just a bitter end. Luckily he won't remember that now.<p>

Jack jumped on the invisible lift and pushed the button on his wrist strap. His wrist strap had already tuned in on the Hub's computers, there were no alarms, and everyone should be in. As the elevator descended down he realized that the Hub was empty. That came as a disappointment to him. More so the Hub looked deserted; all the lights were off, even the computers hummed in standby. That wasn't right. He pulled out his gun as he jumped from the elevator, after that he approached Tosh's station to search for their signals. They were nowhere to be found, like they went abroad. Thinking of that he felt silly for his pulling gun so he returned it to its place. They were in Himalayas and hadn't returned yet. The Master himself told him that when he returned, even Ianto spoke of returning through Asia on foot. Well this way they should get back a lot sooner than before. Jack took a deep breath. Maybe it was better this way, he would have a chance to pull himself together and get on track with recent changes and assignments. He flicked the switch and was left speechless, everything looked different, it was the same Hub, but all mixed up. He went up to his office fearing he would find Owen's stuff all around. To his surprise his office was rebuilt but his stuff was all there. He went to the floor to look at his files about Flat Holm feeling guilty for leaving it hanging like he had. As soon as he opened it he immediately knew that it had been opened, and reorganized. Ianto took over and sorted it. There was even a highlighted new case of returning. Jack took it out and studied it. He remembered that one. That was painful case, Ianto seemed to take care of it with discretion, and he even left a note to explain himself. Jack smiled; the note was clearly intended for him. Ianto sorted the facts in order in which Jack prioritized things. It wasn't a chronological report, like ones that Ianto made for the archives and expected to be read by ones like him, but it was sorted by troubles. First there was big label 'harmless', noting that no action was necessary. Then there was the screaming of the man, once a boy, Jonah, and note that he wasn't suitable for public places. Then there was Gwen's near discovery of the man because of a bad system of spotting returning subjects; after that, a note about the lack of equipment and troubles about finding trolleys. Then there were his results of examinations at Flat Holm, and list of his diseases, and contained pathogens that proved to be harmless enough, but Ianto noted suspicion that it caused a new type of influenza. Then there was his condition and new estimated age. That was followed by short drafts of Jonah drabbling about his travels, they would be intriguing and fascinating if there wasn't so much pain, Jack could relate to that too well at this moment so he just browsed through that. In the end there was a short linear story about the chain of events that occurred, and Jack usually wouldn't have gotten to that point, he would have thrown down the report after the estimation of his danger level, before whining about equipment and detecting strategies.

Jack returned the file to its place and closed the lid. As he looked around he saw green space beside his office, where did the board room go? He went in search of it. Of course he looked last at that convenient room just beside office area. It wasn't bad really, but he liked the overview of the old board room. He went upstairs and looked at the green wonder in the middle. They probably had reason for it but he felt deprived, it was a powerful position to lean on the reel and watch them working, now he would be shadowed by some damn tall plants. He put his hands in his pockets and went to see if they managed to put something in his room, or had they just turned it into a storage room.

He went down the ladder pleasantly surprised that the air wasn't damp after months of his absence. He turned up the light and was rewarded by the sight of his things intact. The only sign that he wasn't home was that everything was neatly sorted. Jack felt the weight of his weariness on his shoulders. He was home, he was safe. He finally took off his coat and placed it on the stand. Afterwards he striped his clothes, standing for a brief moment naked. He closed his eyes; this was such freedom just to stand there bare. He decided against pyjama bottoms and just jumped under his covers. He lie on his back looking through his manhole and discovered he was bothered by that entrance, that window. He would get over that but after standing for a year where everyone could see him in constant light, he craved some privacy, some solitude. That's why he got up and closed the lid causing darkness. It was relief; he missed the darkness that would allow his eyes to take a pause. He crawled into bed deciding to sleep on his front grabbing the pillow.

`What if they find me here, like this` he thought while falling asleep he smiled at that picture, he would just pull Ianto in to keep him warm, and tell others to bugger off for few days. With that pleasant picture of a Ianto-pillow he fell asleep.

* * *

><p><em>This story ends at Meat.<em>


	102. Power struggle

_A/N: Ianto's on, feel free to leave me a note. Enjoy.  
><em>

_Spoilers: Kiss, kiss, bang, bang_

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian_

* * *

><p>Ianto packed their gear; he stopped, looked at his watch, and then looked up to the sky. He frowned; it was like he expected something to be there, like something wasn't showing up. It was a flicker in back of his mind, something flying.<p>

"Will you get moving" Owen shouted "so we can bugger off from here? Gwen stop playing with that phone, Rhys can wait until we get to somewhere civilized."

"That's thousands of miles away" murmured Tosh.

Ianto looked at them and suddenly felt relieved that they were all there, cynical, grumpy, and startled. They weren't a perfect bunch of people but they were there and in last three months without Jack he started to feel like part of a group, they made an effort to pull him in, and he let them. He made effort to fulfil his new role as a field agent and it seemed to work. He got used to violence, and gave his tool of action. He might say he even like it, not the violence, but his own ability to act upon it and not crumble down.

"I'll kill that Saxon guy when we get back" Owen kept talking as they started to walk downwards to their ride, an ancient, run down car it was called Lada and it looked like it shouldn't even start, but it was capable of overcoming any kind of bad terrain, Ianto suspected it would come to full stop on solid and flat ground, it just defied logic.

"You can't just go around and say things like that, he's the Prime Minister for God sake" said Gwen with a smile "You'll get locked away if anyone hears you say it."

"We're in the freaking Himalayas, I don't think they have CCTV out here" he looked around. "I bet he manufactured those files just to prank with us. I have funny feeling about him, like he's just joking around with everybody."

Ianto inwardly agreed, he remembered that he voted for the guy but now was unable to say why; it seemed like odd choice for him to do, especially when his opponent was a transparent man with a solid vision. Ianto couldn't remember what Saxon was offering.

"If it's any consolation to you Owen" Tosh murmured watching on her GPS device "I have a desire to kill him too."

"Oh, Tosh" Gwen laughed "it isn't that bad to lose power on your laptop, we'll be in reach of power socket in no time."

"No" she lifted her head looking at them apologetically through her hair "it's not that, I just have an urge to kill him, I feel so angry when I think of him."

Gwen went silent.

"When you say it like that" she laughed nervously "I'm not too fond of him either."

"So agreed then" Owen said cheerfully "we'll make a power turn when we get back and make our own puppet Prime Minister" they all laughed but Ianto started to think how it could be done. It seemed like something he should do.

"Owen" Tosh called out when they gather up in the lobby before they went to the airport "It looks like there will be no need for a power struggle when we get back, it seems Saxon has disappeared, and it seems like he killed the President of United states, but facts are still unclear."

They all looked at the screen.

"Told you" Owen smiled "funny business. Good riddance I say" Ianto silently agreed. They all seemed to be in a much better mood as they walked towards the airport.

As they sat in the airplane, Ianto took out his mobile to turn it off. He had forgotten he had it with him the last couple of days; they were always out of service. Missed calls, it said. "Sir" it wrote on his phone, he held his breath, it was three days ago. Jack came and went while they were away. He pushed the button anyway. "The number you have dialed does not exist" the voice on the line said. Of course, thought Ianto and turned off his phone. He smiled sadly, he gotten over all that Jack business in last three months, he wouldn't start pinning now, but still, it was nice he tried to call. He turned and looked at Gwen and Owen who were arguing over their findings, or the lack of any. Tosh had disappeared in her laptop with her earphones on her ears.

"What are you staring at Tea boy?" snorted Owen.

"Just tired" he answered quietly deciding against telling them about Jack's call; it would only bring their hopes up.

"Who left the lights on" shouted Owen as they entered the Hub the morning after they landed.

"I was the last to leave" said Gwen "but I could have sworn I flipped the switch."

"Don't worry Gwen, it wasn't you, we've had a breach, someone messed with our data stream" said Tosh seriously throwing herself on the job.

Ianto went to kitchen and started the coffee, there was a small light on in Jack's office, but there were no footsteps on the stairs. It was just like Jack to be messy and leave the lights on. Ianto climbed the stairs with a mug in his hands, his own mug, not the one for Jack. He could see small signs, moved files, lack of dust on the lid for Flat Holm files. He expected a note, there wasn't one. He turned off the lamp and went down.

"All our personal files were browsed through, pictures, personnel files" Tosh explained "especially Jack's files, like someone had been searching for him. He left an awful lot of traces, like he wants to be found."

Ianto frowned, that didn't sound like Jack. Lights turned on, and moved files in a discreet way, but buzzing around the virtual files, he could do that without a trace, he had all the clearances he could have, they were unable to cast him out, his wrist strap was in the base of everything. Ianto moved to his station, if someone was trying to get their attention he wouldn't be hidden in the crowd, he would stand out. He found him almost immediately.

"Guys" he called out.

"I don't freaking believe this" shouted Owen "of all the things we've seen, this is the freakiest one, he's literally pissing on our door step."

And that was a correct description, a red blow fish, there wasn't other way to describe it, and was taking a piss on the door step of tourist office entrance.

"No way in hell we'll let that one pass." Owen jumped and they've spend rest of the day scooping him out. It wasn't easiest task.

"Bloody bugger just can't stop for a moment" Owen grumbled.

As soon as they would receive police tip off the fish would be already on other part of town, like he just appeared and disappeared.

"Come on guys" Gwen took her jacket "There isn't other way, in the car all of you, we just have to chase him down, he won't stop, he's waiting for us to go out and play."

"I can..." Ianto tried but Gwen cut him off.

"No, cleaning and tiding can wait, this one could easily have three heads and six arms how fast is he moving. Take a weapon; I don't think this one will come down peacefully." The rest of them followed her and Ianto thought that it was the case more often lately, she had natural police authority and they complied. That wasn't bad, Ianto thought to himself, they needed a leader, and it suited her better than just staring at nothing, like she did when Rhys died. Ianto wondered why was that image so permanently glued to his eyelids, like he'd seen it for a long time and not for just few minutes.


	103. Closed loop

_A/N: It seems that the stats numbers went up. I'm glad you're reading it.  
><em>

_Spoilers: Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian_

* * *

><p>Jack woke up in the dark feeling relaxed and fine. He hadn't felt like that in ages. Sadly he was still alone in bed, which had to be rectified soon. He jumped up and turned up the lights. His wrist strap informed him he had slept for three days straight. He even managed to dream out his days with the Master. He rarely had the opportunity to deal with it in such subtle ways like dreams. In years he spent on Earth he had learned to fear dreams, they brought sorrow, lost faces, and mistakes, this time he felt relieved, like all the time with the Master had been washed away. He tapped at his wrist strap and discovered that his team had come back; they were on the move, like always in action. He grinned and opened his closet. He was fed up with his light blue shirt; he'd worn it too long. Something dark, dark blue to bring out his eyes, and some water to refresh him, he missed the shower. Simple things like a mirror and blade to fool unsuspected visitors, like he needed to shave. He wondered how he would look like after a year if his beard had grown. Terrible he imagined and probably he would smell just as bad. 51st century had it privileges, so his smell became just more intoxicating making those around him dazed and have difficulty focusing.<p>

He dressed, strapping his Webley on his side, he missed its weight. He was about to close his closet when he noticed a black bag in the middle. It didn't look like his, so he opened it. He was rewarded by Ianto's suit, clean and pressed. He smiled at that small trace of Ianto.

He climbed up the ladder and was greeted with stations and computers working. He opened up the speakers to hear their voices in the coms, coordinating hot pursuit. It didn't go so well. He called up footage of the `blow fish` how they called. He smiled understanding why they had difficulties. Slippery type's those aliens, unpredictable, and unstable, and when they go rogue there's no turning back, they only move forward into more madness. It was only matter of time before this one would start to shoot people; he'd done almost everything else. Breaking and entering, stealing, beating, threatening, the kill was his next move. After that there were no limits to what he'd think of next. Luckily their species wasn't a very imaginative one, they were truly dangerous only in companionship with someone with the creativity to hurt and destroy.

Jack called up the track of his movements from when they spotted him. He wasn't only fish like; he had in his genome certain patterns of behaviour that were hard to fight, especially in high adrenalin chases like this one. He teased his team luring them in. He had no plan, just mad will to be chased around. When prey becomes intelligent it was hard to sustain their need to be chased, even when they became dangerous ones. Just because he'd chased ones like this one before, a long time ago, Jack knew that when the chase would become more intense they would start to run in circular pattern, making eights that would proceed forward trying to wear out their pursuer before they ran out of space. Their home planet had very small oceans, which is why they had to adapt to firm ground before losing their fish like characteristics.

He was in luck, its pattern started to go into loop an hour ago and he would be able to catch up with his next loop easily, he wouldn't even need a car. Jack ran through corridors to the tourist office exit, he had no patience to wait on the elevator. As he paced Jack laughed loudly. He would have never thought that after the time spent with the Doctor he would miss running, but he did; standing still for a year made him crave for motion. He quickly got into a steady pace not even stopping to check his route, he knew every turn, fence to jump over and back alley to cut before them. He heard shots and that made him change his course, they cornered him before his destined hide out before bay water, jumping into the bay was last stand, they hated to go back into the water.

He arrived at the house with the open door and cars parked sideways. He stopped and listened in catching his breath. He got there in time to hear him challenge Ianto as a minion. He couldn't have that, him talking to his team so depreciatively. He entered, positioned himself behind Ianto, nobody noticed him, not even the blow fish. He aimed right beside Ianto's shoulder.

"Can you, dare you, would you" he repeated in irritating manner. "Won't you?"

Jack shot him. It felt liberating to be able just to shot, to act, not to stand behind all strapped up.

Ianto turned with his blue eyes bewildered, and they all saw him now.

"Hello kids, did you miss me" he said with a smile and then laughed with delight. It was so good to see their faces again. Especially Ianto's confused face, which was a rare treat.

Then there was a short silence, after that everyone started to move purposely; everyone except Jack. They collected the body, Retconned the family, Ianto got into car that blow fish had driven and Jack sat in SUV in a passenger seat, Owen was driving. There was a thick silence in the car, one Jack wasn't willing to break.

Back in the Hub the situation wasn't any better. They just moved around him like he wasn't there. He took off his coat, without help from Ianto, rolled up his sleeves, paced around slowly trying to think of a tactic, but it was obvious he would have to speak up first. They were united front once again. It was strange to see them so collected and calm, without disturbance of that lost year. He imagined them like Ianto described them in few short lines. Ianto looked sharper than ever, there was no curls sticking out, no weight loss; he looked better than ever, more secure, masculine. Ianto smiled fondly at Gwen making the sushi joke. They looked familiar.

"You've got pretty organized without me" he said with a smile trying to keep things light.

"Yeah we have to" Gwen answered bitterly.

"Have you decorated in here" he tried to divert her from the subject, but she didn't want to have none of that.

"You left us Jack" she pushed him against the door yelling and he knew he had to give them something, but he would rather keep most of it to himself.

"I know I'm sorry" he sighed acknowledging that part of blame, he did run off.

"We knew nothing, Jack" Gwen continued angrily, she wasn't the one to let it go.

"Where were you?" asked Tosh cautiously. He couldn't deny her the answer, he thought what to say and he even smiled standing here with his own loop closed.

"I found my Doctor" he said realizing that his long wait for the Doctor was over, he was free to live his life, not to wait for change.

"Did he fix you?" Owen asked softly professional and aware what that meant.

"What's to fix, you don't mess with this level of perfection" he joked back with his unchanging condition, he would stick with that attitude.

"Are you going back to him" Ianto asked quietly with slight emphasis on `him` studying Jack's face in wait for an answer.

"I came back for you" Jack answered honestly watching him closely trying to see his reaction, but then he looked around remembering how Ianto was careful and private, and just how that sounded so he took a deep breath "all of you" and he did come back for all of them.

Then there was a Rift alarm and everybody started to move again turning their eyes from him. This time they included him a bit more. Jack drove the SUV, Owen sat beside him, and Ianto sat behind with Gwen and Tosh, there was no suggestion for any of them to be left behind.

* * *

><p><em>Feel free to review, it does cheer me up.<em>


	104. Down the rabbit hole

_A/N: Ianto resisting_

_Spoilers: Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang_

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian, this one is for you in honor of our 50th ch together, thank you._

* * *

><p>Ianto watched the red blow fish that held that scared girl at gun point, he wasn't really listening, he only saw his lips moving. Instead he heard the blood rushing through his veins clouding his hearing; he felt how his fingers became slippery on the trigger. The blow fish fixated itself on him for some reason. It dismissed Owen as adversary earlier in the night when he made him run for cover yelling, because of that Owen pulled that stunt of sitting on the window and shooting.<p>

"The doctor with his hands full of blood" the fish said with disdain, like it was a weakness to choose to save someone instead of hurting them. After that first run, the blow fish didn't bother with Owen, he would just wound someone to eliminate him from equation.

"The carer with her oh so beating heart" he continued his campaign against Gwen; he dismissed her first, playing with her protective emotions to divert her from himself. Before she took them all out in the chase he kicked people left and right throwing them her way, forcing her to stay behind so he would stop doing that.

"The technician with her cold devices" he managed to deceive Tosh's tracking system by his cold blooded nature, that's why they searched in vain and were forced to ask for directions, and he was right, Tosh had lost her confidence as he scrambled her devices one by one with ease, she was unable to rely on anything that her screen said. She couldn't even tell them if a bullet would do it, or if they would need a special weapon.

"Which leaves me with an office boy promoted beyond his measure" the blow fish turned towards him and at that point he stopped listening. The alien was right, it was up to him, the rest of them were shaken by the chase and were unwilling to risk that girl even if that meant they would have to chase him some more. Their logic said that he hadn't hurt anyone seriously and even the man Owen was working on would live, Ianto could tell that, so they assumed the fish would leave to go some place where they could handle him without casualties. Ianto reasoned differently. This was the end of the road and looking into the alien's eyes he knew that he saw it too. It was a dead end, all guns were pulled out, there were civilians in the room, so there was leverage the alien could use against them, but Ianto felt the adrenalin of the fish, knowing it wouldn't back down, it wouldn't negotiate, it would try to shoot them all before the end, there was no other reason for the long chase and teasing, it was the hunt but they weren't the hunters, they were lured in. He had to shoot, but that damn thing kept moving, changing positions, any time now it would stop and he would get a clear shot, because he could do it. Could he? Just as the fish paused the air exploded by his ear and the alien fell down with a hole in his head, leaving girl alive just as Ianto imagined it should happen. Ianto turned his gun confused looking at it thinking for a brief moment that it had gone off on its own. No, it had to be someone right behind him with a clear line to shot just like he had. He swiftly turned around and saw him there standing like he'd never left. Ianto was petrified by the sight, somehow it was more frightening than a mad fish with a gun, had he gone mad?

"Hey kids" he spoke up with his flirting tone looking him in the eyes "did you miss me?" then he laughed with that short but rich sound and Ianto felt stirring in his stomach. It was real, he was there. He turned his eyes away to hide the emotion he wanted to contain before it became too big. It didn't mean anything, the fact that he returned. Ianto busied himself with the body, cleaning; Owen called an ambulance and distributed Retcon. Gwen inserted a cover story into the drugged family. Tosh checked her equipment to see if it had gone back to normal.

Ianto chose to drive the car that the fish had stolen, among other things, following Owen's driving in more careful manner. He needed space and sitting in a closed space with Jack and rest of them was an uncomfortable thought. In spite of his effort his heart beat had elevated and his thumbs tapped on the steering wheel nervously.

"So, Jack is back" he said loudly waiting for the traffic light to turn green."What does that mean?" He sighed frustrated and started faster to keep up with them. `Probably nothing` he thought inwardly but he failed in keeping himself flat and uninterested. As he unloaded the SUV and checked the plates of the stolen car he felt Jack's presence although he didn't look his way. Ianto felt good, checking inwardly on his current appearance and status, he did fulfil his need to look good at losing, and more so he did quite well while Jack was away. He decided to play it cool, they had a fling, and it was over, Jack left; now Jack was back, simple as that, and he managed to pull himself through all that with confidence. It was enough.

But then Gwen had to push Jack and demand an explanation and he stood in the background forced to watch him closely, he forgot how he held himself, how his body moved, how his face changes forming that smile. Then he arched his back thinking and Ianto found himself frustrated with need to go at him and just grab him. Why did he still inflict his senses in that way? Why did he want to press his palms against his back?

Jack acknowledged that he was with the Doctor and was still unable to die.

"Are you going back to him" Ianto challenged him to admit that this just delayed another goodbye.

"No" he denied that looking straight into Ianto forgetting about the others "I've come back for you" he said quietly and Ianto found that hard to believe. Jack saw that, took his breath and looked around letting him go for now "all of you."

Ianto found himself a bit unnerved by his admission, how did he mean that? Why would he come back for Ianto? He must have thought something else, but still, there was a flicker inside of Ianto and he feared that he wouldn't be able to turn it off once more if it got a chance to burn, he would be screwed.

When the Rift alarm went off Ianto didn't offer to stay behind, he wasn't ready to lose sight of Jack, not now, not when he had some things to clear up for Ianto.

In the SUV he sat behind trying not to look too much at the back of Jack's shoulders and movements of his arms, hands on the wheel, he knew that by every look he went deeper down the rabbit hole. The fact that the traces of his unique body scent started to move around the car didn't help his cause either.


	105. Between worlds

_A/N: I'm thinking about making this longer chapters a habit, to publish less often but longer ch.  
><em>

_Spoiler alert: Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang_

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian_

* * *

><p>Jack drove his team but he still felt uneasy, there was a tension in the air. He wasn't experienced in all of this returning and apologizing thing. His style was more hit and run, just like their corpse near the Rift activity. Residual patterns of energy were all too obvious.<p>

"He was grabbed and pushed" he said to Tosh, he knew exactly in what manner, the move wasn't unfamiliar to him, but those were different times, he was a different person.

"Back in charge are you" said Gwen with a smile and he knew it wasn't far now before things returned to normal.

"I hoped for some power struggle resolved with some naked mud wrestling" he answered lightly, he wouldn't mind mud wrestling, it was always fun, in difference to the rugby match she dragged him to. All the men were completely covered up, and contact was reduced to shoulders pushing and shoving. He glanced back at Ianto, naked wrestling dreams always revolved around him.

By the SUV his wrist strap beeped although he had disengaged almost every sound alarm on it.

"Wow, that never beeps" said Ianto surprised.

"I was thinking the same thing" he answered seriously, there were just few options for that sound, and usually it meant something alarming. When a familiar face appeared before him he knew he was right, it was trouble.

"What could you be doing that is more important than me?" he said and Jack knew he hadn't changed, for him hadn't passed more than a hundred years like it did for Jack.

"Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope" he couldn't resist the end, reminding Jack of their dull times when they watched enough old and outdated movies for a life time. It was always a good joke between them.

"Don't follow me" he said and jumped in SUV already ahead, he was nervous, what did he want? Nothing harmless, that was for sure.

As he opened the bar doors his mind was empty, seeing that familiar face made him forget the years between, like there wasn't a gap that had changed him. He acted upon their rules, agreeing on a scenario and the music, tuning in his emotions, taking the pose. Western movies were always their favourite and Jack's counterpart did play the bad guy perfectly, because he was a bad guy, that left Jack with the good part, it suited his charms better anyway. They walked toward each other in the best showdown tradition and Jack felt tension rising. Moments after Jack found himself inches away from that familiar face, familiar scent and they both breathed heavily in anticipation for the next move because you could never tell what it would be. They clashed into each other, craving to devour the other, there was nothing gentle in that encounter, there never was anything like it, only passion that bordered with aggression, and of course there it was right after desire. Jack laughed lustfully after the first blow; he loved the rush and adrenalin, competition and the danger of real injury, because that was always there. He didn't notice the shattered glass, broken tables, nothing; it was like a violent dance their bodies knew so well.

"You're putting on weight" he started familiar banter as their guns were out.

"Losing your hair" Jack continued the game.

"What are you wearing?" he asked taking in at Jack's appearance.

"Captain Jack Harkness, note the stripes" Jack introduced his new self.

"Captain John Hart, note the sarcasm" he answered quickly.

Jack knew he made the persona up on the spot to match Jack's, with Time Agents you never knew real names and identities, not only because of the rules, but because everyone preferred it that way.

"I need a drink?" he finally asked when they both become weary.

"I thought you'd never ask" answered Jack sincerely although he hadn't drink for years; water had been his beverage of choice for decades now. His condition asked for caution, and alcohol didn't affect him like it used to.

Jack grabbed the bottle like it was a long forgotten friend and it was forgotten. The man now called John Hart poured the whole bottle inside him and Jack started to come back to his present self, the years between their last encounter came back, and his former partner seemed odd and misplaced and Jack discovered he didn't want him here, he didn't want his trouble and hazard, his ideas of fun.

"So how was rehab" asked Jack watching him and thinking about the last time they played good guy bad guy. After the trouble that his partner caused, Jack had played the bad guy and went rogue from the Time Agency, and his partner played the good one and blamed it all on his addiction earning himself treatment on the planet for rehab of strayed agents. After five years they were weary of each other and Jack was willing to do that last thing for him to get him out of his way.

"Rehabs. Plural" John said sheepishly.

"Drink, drugs, sex and..." Jack tried to count his big list of vices.

"And murder" he completed the list.

"You went to murder rehab" Jack couldn't believe absurdity of it all, even the Agency that had chosen them because their ability to go far and do the unthinkable decided that John had gone too far.

"Are you clean now" Jack asked thinking of the man on the pavement and the bottle in his hand, it was just like him to resist the state of the art methods from 51st century to get rid of addiction. The answer was a usual delusion he dwelled upon, and news that time did pass and the Time Agency shut down like everything does in time. He leaned in trying to pick up where they stopped and Jack put up his wall, this was the past and nothing he wanted back.

"I don't want you on my territory" Jack said relentlessly trying to protect the person he had build here for himself, he had gotten another chance and he wouldn't blow it away on an old lover that had already dragged him down on familiar path.

"What, time was you couldn't get enough of me on your territory" answered John as always accusing him for leaving. Then he pulled out his gun sharp as always he noticed shadows in the glass, his disobedient team, things hadn't changed here either.

He stood between them trying to diffuse situation, resigning to the fact that he was unable to keep the two parts of his life separate, the past that was his future and the future that was his past had collided. The life of a time traveller was never easy. He introduced them giving minimal amounts of information, hoping he would be able to get rid of John quickly.

"Captain John Hart" he introduced himself cutting off Jack, taking his opportunity to present him in a less glamorous persona.

"We go back" Jack tried to diminish their relationship trying to make him cooperate, but he would have none of that.

"We were partners" John said offended.

"In what way?" asked Ianto suspiciously instantly noticing the situation, he knew Jack too well. John wouldn't miss out such opportunity to brag.

"It was like having a wife" said John with disdain and Jack reacted on instinct falling into their old argument allowing John to get closer. Jack was mad and annoyed that he still fell into arguing with him like they were still an item. Jack asked him what he was really doing there, there had to be an angle, he wasn't the sentimental type that would come to see Jack; Jack would be always be a side attraction, lucky coincidence. As he spoke Jack moved away making a space between them, he didn't buy his story for a minute, for him it was impossible to be just a spectator of any situation, but Jack played along knowing John would cause him a world of trouble if he didn't. Jack moved in on him to make it clear that this is one time thing, and then he was gone.

"That means I get to see the house?" John turned on his charm trying to connect with Jack; he just glared at him, like he would fall for that fake innocence that would turn into malice in an instant. Having relationship with a man you couldn't turn your back to was tiring and demanding, it asked for a certain dose of adrenalin drain that Jack hadn't missed, he died often enough not to want an extra dose of pain.

John continued his parade of comments, disdain and critique that he thought was charming. Jack hadn't thought so, he found it irritating, like talking to a child, and they called Jack childish.

When they landed Ianto was there with a silver platter, where in hell did he get that, Jack wondered. He was brightened by the sight and jumped down turning his back to Ianto. He felt safe with him there.

"Weapons" Jack stopped John satisfied that Ianto gave him this elegant way of disarming him, if anything, Ianto knew how to spot trouble.

Of course there was endless supply of blades and guns, even a sword, all neatly hidden. Jack held a small gun with a white handle between two fingers, he knew where had that been, he carried one just like it, it did come in handy.

The team watched the parade of weapons with wonder, but Ianto remained impassive not giving away his inner thoughts. He wasn't the one to be easily impressed. Jack took weapon by weapon handing it down to Ianto. As he stood between two men that had been his lovers, one of which he hoped will continue to fill that task, he thought how different they are. Maybe that meant he was different. He doubted Ianto would have looked twice at the man that ran alongside with a weapon packed John. Truth to be told, that man would have given Ianto one night, not more, and he would have been the one to miss out.

Jack tried to be as neutral as possible but John scanned everyone connecting dots, he was too clever not to notice Ianto, he kept looking at him suspiciously.

As Tosh scanned the city and John leaned against her shoulder, Jack went towards the new board room. It was safe to leave Tosh with him, Owen and Ianto kept an eye on him. Gwen walked behind Jack trying to get a sense of the John situation; her guts spotted a liar in an instant. Jack talked about the possibility that John was telling the truth, no matter how small it was, he couldn't afford it. If anything John could have planted real bombs so his con worked more efficiently. She tried to find out more about his time with the Time Agent but he wasn't ready to talk about that, it was the lowest part of his life, and things he'd done then he would like to leave behind. Jack tried to explain himself to her, about the person he'd become, that he was no longer the person he used to be one which he wasn't proud of.

"Then why did you desert us" asked Gwen with that hidden sadness and guilt started to rise in Jack, he was always submissive to guilt. She saw that and insisted on further moving in a half a step looking him straight in the eye. Jack looked towards the exit wondering why he had let himself be cornered like that. He sighed. Then he remembered how she had come for him, how she told him to come home, and he did, he remembered her sorrow and her losses so he put down his shields and let her see the pain of the last year, and he even talked about it freely knowing she wouldn't really understand, but he wanted her to see the present, where they were now, to let go of his past.

"But after it was all over I knew I belonged here" and he did, he finally managed to fit into one time line. "What kept me fighting was a thought of coming home to you" he said sincerely, it was a powerful source to know he was wanted and accepted.

He grabbed her hand to let her know that he was there with her, and for her but there on her finger was a ring with a stone in it. Jack knew too well what the stone in the ring meant here on Earth.

"What is this?" he was too surprised to pretend he hadn't noticed.

"That's engagement ring, that is" she said with her big eyes.

"You're getting married?" he was baffled. Already, to whom?

"Well Rhys asked, when you were away" she said and left Jack stunned for a moment then he put up his shields smiling bitterly, Rhys was alive, that's why she was all powered up and moving, Rhys survived his death and Abbadon's fall. He regained himself asking the details about it, asking if he had done it right, because he should, women cared about that sort of thing.

"And you've said yes" he asked obviously trying to keep his emotions aligned, not to ruin this now just because he had missing time in which everything was different and information was outdated.

"Well no one else would have me" she diminished it in her Welsh manner all insecure.

"Good for you" he said and placed a kiss on her cheek lingering there for a moment. "We should get back to work."

In the board room John lifted his feet on the table dominating the place; Gwen took charge; Ianto rolled his eyes towards John not hiding his irritation with the man. Jack couldn't help but to be angry and annoyed with Gwen. He loved her, he really did, but she marched on like nothing had happen, like nothing had been lost. She walked around smiling and talking like she hadn't already gone. For Jack marrying meant only one thing. He would be kicked out sooner or later. Even his own daughter treated him that way, when she got married he was an obstacle, his companionship was too dangerous for her family and suddenly he wasn't family anymore, he became a stranger. She hated the fact he wasn't growing old, it annoyed her more than anyone, it was just against the nature of things and she preferred that questions weren't asked. He obeyed her and stayed away, but it hurt anyway. It was a gap and in some ways Gwen, with her acceptance of him, did fill it. But it was only a question of time now.

Even when her husband left his daughter she refused to let him back in. His encounters with his grandson were limited to short visits and divided by time. She feared Steven would notice his unchanging nature and the clock was ticking while she observed, any day now he would be banned once more. That hurt most because he knew too well that time was going by and they would be dead in a heartbeat.

Gwen continued like nothing happened, and nothing had changed, defying him like always, pushing her own way. She leaned forward matching his pose and contradicting him and he knew she would not yield. He suppressed his fears and expectations getting back to business. No matter what mask had John taken, or how sharp Gwen thought she was he was still very dangerous.

"Do not under any circumstances let him kiss you" he said not willing to explain whole poisonous lipstick thing; she would ask more details than he would like to disclose.

"As I would ever" she replied horrified but she didn't know John like he did.

"Did he get to the no kissing rule? He made that one up just to keep me all to himself" John echoed around the room and Jack was agitated by him.

Then it was time to move. An unexpected treat from Gwen repositioning search parties was that she put him with Ianto. He would have never done that himself. Whatever Gwen and John were up to he let it go, they were adults, and Jack wasn't even able to steer children in the way he wanted to. His ideas of education and free access to information for children weren't very well welcomed here.

Jack turned around knowing he would get used to Gwen's departure, and he would be glad for her, that she was able to keep her normal life in spite of Torchwood. That was one thing less to feel guilty about and he needed just a moment to align himself to the fact that she traded him for Rhys and won, Rhys survived thanks to his sacrifice and her betrayal. That wasn't something he would hold against her, she just loved him more than any of them; that's all, who was he to argue that? He just wouldn't take it personally, because it wasn't; Gwen cared for him, as he did for her. The only difference was that he just hadn't cared about anyone enough for whom he would endanger the world.

* * *

><p><em>So I give you chance to vote:<em>

_Shorter chapters everyday_

_or_

_long ones every few days._

V


	106. Death on each handle

_A/N: Ianto on John. I can't believe there hasn't been any thoughts about my take on Gwen/Jack situation, but I guess it's all been done before. Anyway thank you for reviewing and one vote. I'll try to keep things shorter and more regular._

_Spoilers: Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>Ianto was furious. He couldn't get his bearings back. The moment he saw John Hart's message he went bonkers. He wasn't willing to believe Jack had returned solely for him, but there was a fair chance that Jack wanted him to be something to him after all. He did look him in an expecting way, like he was examining him. And there was that look just moments earlier when he talked about naked mud wrestling. It did provoke certain images in Ianto, they didn't involve Gwen. Ianto relaxed for a moment from that look that left him feeling naked, so when Jack's wrist strap beeped Ianto spoke up showing some insight on Jack's device, he was even entertained by the possibility of knowing something more about the device.<p>

Then Jack pressed the button and there was the hologram like it came out of Star Wars, but it was a hologram of the man and Ianto hated him in an instant.

"Can't believe I've got an answering machine" sighed the man wining and Ianto knew it wasn't just a friend dropping by, he demanded Jack's attention with expectation like he was entitled to it.

"Sorry for the mess" he admitted the murder nonchalantly like it was a normal thing to do, leaving a man on the pavement for Jack to find.

"Drinks" he rubbed his hands claiming Jack for himself. Then there was a final joke ruining Ianto's favourite scene from Star Wars, he was no Leia.

When the message was over Jack's eyes looked haunted, he didn't see them anymore as he jumped in the car and stormed away. No way in hell Ianto was going to take that. It was one thing to be careful about his returning, but whole other to just let him leave with another time traveller that knew to harvest the Rift. Especially a so devious one, the Doctor looked peaceful compared to that figure; even in its small proportions Ianto could see trouble and heartlessness.

That's why as soon as Jack started the car Ianto paced away calling a cab, not waiting for the team to follow. He wasn't going let Jack with that man alone, it wasn't pure jealously, although it was there, it was fear, fear for Jack. He knew it was irrational, but he feared for Jack, even more because he couldn't die, horrible things could happen to him and he won't be able to escape in death. Seeing that man in the message didn't fill him with confidence that Jack would be safe with him.

The others followed him in the cab and he sat there unable to say to the driver to step on it, to hurry. They talked about Jack and their frustration with him and Ianto couldn't relate to that. Jack was Jack and he had life that was bigger than the four of them.

"It is more fun when he's around" he spoke up in the silence that occurred and they agreed. That kept them silent rest of the way. Working for Torchwood without Jack was dull and uneventful, a few more months and they would be bureaucratic and even like Torchwood One. Aliens and the chase were there but there was no flare, no humour, even Owen started to behave himself. They didn't put up a show for Jack; they really started to get along well together.

When they finally reached the bar Reunion, Ianto was annoyed by the name, he didn't get this far just to be replaced by an old flame; this was supposed to be his time, time Jack wanted to spend with him.

"Tosh and I will go behind, you two take front door, we'll go in if needed" Owen took charge as he did on the field.

Ianto positioned himself in front of Gwen trying to make out what was going on in there but they spoke to quietly to be heard. Suddenly there was a gunshot, shattered glass, then another one. They moved in when he called out keeping him at gun point. The man leaned against the counter all sleazy and overconfident and took their measurements like he was in a candy shop.

"You need the blonde" he said to Jack.

"Oh my God, he's worse than Jack" said Owen like Jack was anything like him.

"Captain John Hart" he said and Ianto doubted he could be captain of anything, maybe a self proclaimed one. Jack stood there trying to look casual about it but there it was, they stood too close, John acted too familiar.

"We were partners" John said with a hint of pride and Ianto had to ask what he meant by that, he didn't want to take half truths on this one.

"In every way" he answered lazily. Of course Jack tried to make it less important, and they fell into an argument like an old couple would have, to Ianto's horror he could see that between them, connection, their faces were turned to each other and Ianto hated the fact he had to lower his gun. He felt relief when Jack moved away and when John showed them hologram of the supposed bomb Ianto watched him closely.

"Yada, yada, yada" he said like a compulsive liar would, robbing the story of all the details, hiding the truth. Ianto could tell a lie, he had given his share of those, but he's done it to protect and defend, but he doubted this John partner had such noble intentions. It was like Seinfeld episode when yada's hid the robberies.

Irritatingly enough Jack decided to play along. He made John walk to the Hub. Waiting for the two of them to catch up was nerve wracking so Ianto tidied up while Gwen took a scanning device.

"No way in hell I'm letting that man in armed" she said "did you see how he shot at us without even a warning. That one is a bad one, bad compulsive liar, I've seen my share."

"Yeah" Owen agreed "and you, Tosh, telling him he's cute didn't help, he's stuffed enough."

"Hey, I was just noticing" she defended herself "give a girl some slack; I have a taste for bad guys."

"I'll say" Gwen laughed.

"And girls" smirked Owen.

"That was a onetime thing" Tosh didn't give in "you, Gwen, weren't any better."

"I was" she answered sweetly "I stopped before panties."

"Yeah, just because she shoved you off" Tosh continued.

"Hey girls, enough, you'll give me and Ianto a month's supply to think about" he spins his chair "well maybe just me. That man got to you, you better be careful not to provoke his train of thoughts, he doesn't strike me as a bloke who would stop at thinking, and not sure would he ask for permission."

"We should trust Owen on that one" Tosh said shaking her head "he should know."

"Hey I'm the good guy here" he shouted and they giggled. "See Jack storms in and everything becomes a joke."

"And you're so serious" Gwen mocked him.

"No, but Ianto is" he pointed at him with his pen standing and examining office area. "We must annoy hell out of him."

"Sorry Ianto love" Gwen smiled and Ianto smiled back.

"I'm just taking care there isn't anything worth taking at arm's reach."

"So, you're just as charmed with this guy as I am" said Owen satisfied.

"He did just murder a guy without an apparent reason, trashed and emptied fully packed bar, punched Jack till he bled, shot at us, sold us some convenient bomb story, got into an argument with Jack about who was the female in their relationship, and is now preparing to enter our top secret base with an endless supply of data not only on aliens and alien weapons, but also about Earth and Earth's inside governments and defence systems. Did I sum it up right?"

Owen raised his eyebrows.

"Yeah it sounds about right."

"So you think he'll try to make power turn in his favour" Gwen was battled.

"Doesn't seem like the type" Ianto said absently "but he seems like type to carry a lot of weapons, I need something to carry them out of reach." He walked towards Jack's office. There was a tray forgotten beneath whisky glasses, that whisky was rarely used. Jack surely wouldn't mind.

"Charming guy that tea boy of ours" said Owen thoughtfully "a bundle of joy."

"But we trust Jack on this one, he knows how to judge things" Gwen turned towards Tosh and Owen.

"He is the king of that" Owen said seriously "anyway we can't really lock him out, we don't have the knowledge, and he does still outrank us, he can't be retired, not for age, or for death for that matter."

"Jack is right, it is better to keep an eye on him" said Tosh firmly "if we denied him access, who knows what he would do, he has technology like Jack, which is hard to fight."

They all looked in wonder how Ianto was shining the tray.

"Will you offer him tea or coffee Tea Boy?" shouted Owen but in that moment the elevator started to descend.

There they were slowly going down. John's comments were clearly heard. Ianto took some peace that Jack held his hands behind his back in his Captain's pose and his body stood filling its space not leaning towards the man; he looked away from the guy. As Jack jumped down, Ianto took out his tray and Jack immediately understood Ianto's offering of elegant way to disarm John, there hadn't been need for explanation. They hadn't created a policy for this because there simply weren't any guests in the Hub to worry about. Only ones would be cuffed or dead.

Jack stood before Ianto handing him down weapons and he was calmed by his presence, he was in sight, in the Hub. As he took the weapons their hands brushed against each other and it was a soothing feeling, it was natural, it reassured his senses that Jack was really there. There were more weapons than Ianto could ever imagine hidden on his skinny body, but he wasn't impressed, most of them were just trophies to show around, some people collected stamps and post cards from places they'd been, this one collected weapons and carried his collection around. Ianto wondered if a dead person was connected to each weapon in his pack. He had an uncomfortable feeling it was more than one on each handle.

After he put his stack in the armoury Jack was out of sight, but John was there. Ianto kept an eye on him; a man who so deeply appreciates weapons wouldn't miss out to make himself a weapon of its own. He was relaxed enough for that to be true. He leaned against Tosh's ear, and she flirted, Owen frowned pushed aside. She was all sweet and open and Ianto knew it was an act, not an honest reaction like in the bar, because she would be more cautious and shy if she meant it.

"I'll give you a better view in the board room" she said sweetly.

"Oh I'd love to see the board room, is it packed with blonds? I don't believe Jack would strike out on such simple detail, he used to love blonds, and he was a blonde for a while." He threw a glance in Ianto's way. "And they are so much more fun." Ianto rolled his eyes and went to the board room.

* * *

><p><em>Short and often: 1<em>

_Long and rarer: 0_


	107. Hidden sorrow

_A/N: shorter one as promised._

_Spoiler alert: Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>Gwen and Jack stood each on their side of the board room. Jack looked disturbed, emotional and sad. Ianto wondered about that for a moment but then John entered the room and Jack closed up his face and withdrew to the far corner. John threw himself in the chair lifting his boots on the table looking bored.<p>

Gwen took charge and Jack tried to contradict her but he gave up after just a short glare. The signs were all over Jack showing his lack of confidence in confronting them in regaining his old place.

"With eyes like yours you can call me Vera" John said to Gwen and Ianto couldn't hold back his eyes from rolling.

"Ianto and Jack go west" Gwen said and Ianto glanced at Jack. Once again Jack backed down, agreeing with Gwen's lead. Of course John was full of disdain for them, managing to even warn them not to open bombs like they were children.

"Gwen I need a word" Jack finally said obviously deciding to handle her alone. Ianto thought it was a smart idea because with all of them in the room it was like the calm before the storm, if Jack crossed the line, questions and accusations would start flying around, with someone like John around in the audience it wouldn't be a very smart move. And Ianto couldn't help but notice that since John was in the picture every sign of Jack's flirtatious nature was gone, he was all serious and cautious. And it seemed like even he was irritated by John's sense of humour.

As Ianto exited the board room he started to feel anxious. Alone with Jack, he would have to pull up his best self, it was crucial for their further working relationship to maintain politeness and seriousness. After seeing John up close Ianto doubted he and Jack had any future. There weren't any similarities between two of them, and although Ianto despised the reckless and crude nature of John, he couldn't deny his provocative animalism, Ianto had none of that, and he would certainly not grow some of that danger or indifference just to draw Jack. Ianto appreciated himself and wasn't one to change easily.

Owen and Tosh equipped themselves in silence and Ianto followed their lead choosing a gun he could trust in. He threw a disgruntled glance at John's weapons. He would be glad just to lock it away, but he couldn't make that kind of decision, they had no grounds to take away his possessions outside of the Hub, he did have some weak excuse about saving some poor kid from a killer.

Owen threw disconcerted look in Ianto's way before exiting but chose to say nothing, he just nodded and went. Maybe it was disturbing enough that he didn't felt easy enough to throw some joke his way. Ianto heard Gwen and John approaching and carried out John's weapons to prevent him from entering the armoury. John took his weapons back examining Ianto with his cold eyes. Ianto stood firm under his gaze pretending he didn't notice it. It was an uncomfortable feeling, it was like John hated him back, but his hate wasn't like Ianto's, something protective and cautious, it was a sharp burning feeling and Ianto had hoped he was just imagining it.

Jack appeared in the office area only after Gwen and John disappeared on the invisible lift. He sighed and rubbed his face like he was trying to wipe away concern and sorrow but they were still there when he removed his palms from it. He smiled sadly at Ianto and led the way out. Ianto walked behind him resisting the urge to catch up with him and just embrace him from behind putting his palms above his heart just to soothe him. How strange would be if he really did that? Jack would surely Retcon him out of the Hub like a deranged stalker. Ianto was horrified by himself. Where did those desires come from? He understood the lust he felt for Jack, even certain dose of tenderness that formed before he left, but since he came back there was whole another level of feelings, gentle and angry ones, mostly protective ones, like he took him for his own not knowing when. He thought he was doing well without him, not that he was falling deeper in.

As Jack drove, more temperamental than ever, Ianto watched him from the corner of his eyes. Jack was deep in thought, serious and sad. Usually when he was like that Ianto would withdrew from him giving him space, or in that short period of time offer physical distraction, but now he wanted to be taken in, he wanted Jack to talk to him. Of course that would never happen, Jack never talked about himself, he only shared small anecdotal stories about people he knew, rarely about himself, but never seriously. Ianto knew that wouldn't change, Jack was closed up, but Ianto wished he could at least put his hand on Jack's to let him know he was there and he had noticed, maybe just to brush his fingers up his sleeve to his shoulder and to touch his jaw, but he did none of that. Ianto just kept staring through the window. He would have to get rid of those thoughts, they were most distracting.

* * *

><p><em>Isn't ironic, I wrote chapter per day for months, but now when I said it out loud and committed to it I don't feel confident that I can do it. It's just one of those things that block us. I'll see how it goes.<em>


	108. Pushing boundaries

_A/N: Ok I'm too messy to persist in this whole short chapter per day, I'll stick to my inconsistency and give all length of chapters._ _For now here is still shorter ones._

_Spoiler alert: Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>In the car there was a silence as Jack drove and Ianto sat there. Jack felt how nervous he was getting. Ianto was more unreadable than ever. Everything was different than expected, he started to wonder how much Ianto's actions were caused by the year that never was.<p>

As they entered the office floor Jack started to babble trying to ease up whole situation. This all was new for him and he was prepared to over step his safely established boundaries. Ianto stopped his babbling focusing on their task.

"Can we maybe drop the `sir` now?" Jack asked all insecure but determined to go further, to push that limit, to reach Ianto. After all, he did promise he would come back for him, which would be a false promise if he backed up now. So he took a deep breath and asked him out, out of the Hub. It wasn't the most graceful of his lines but he got it out on the open.

"Are you asking me out on a date?" Ianto asked for clarification with a slight stammer looking confused.

"Interested?" Jack straightened himself up prepare for both answers, he even had a joke for refusal, he knew how to take losses.

Ianto became all flustered and his stammer became stronger. Jack watched him more than he listened trying to decipher whether was he pleased or annoyed. It was hard to tell with him.

"You're good on roofs" he finished with their task, again giving him order with a smile. Jack nodded taking his queue for exiting, he'd have to clear this up later, give Ianto some more room.

"Jack" Ianto called out for him as he pushed the door, his voice was clear and strong again, Jack turned towards him "why are we helping him?" he asked for the second time in the day pronouncing _him_ with a slight emphasis, looking concerned. Jack understood the question and he was glad for it, there was an interest deeper than just task before them, he asked for clarification of their relationship.

"He's reminder of my past, I want him gone." Jack answered honestly trying to make Ianto understand. As usual he nodded and accepted his answer not asking for further reassurance. Jack almost exited but then he decided that it was a good moment for clarification of his own.

"By the way is that a 'yes'" he asked bluntly, it was a safest approach; they had enough of silent games and avoiding.

"Yes" Ianto answered clearly nodding "yes" he added quieter. Jack smiled deciding it wasn't a bad response. He took the stairs feeling confident and cocky once again. Nothing boosted his ego better than a romantic success.

* * *

><p><em>Just to say I love my reviews, good and bad, I just love to see the number above. So feel free to boost it up.<em>


	109. Behind the mirror

_Spoiler alert: Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang_

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>Jack searched the roof for John's `cluster bomb` he could laugh now at that joke. It fell through the Rift right here, not anywhere else, ok Jack could believe that coincidence. After all, the Rift gave them quite of bit of space garbage, but that John would follow any kind of bomb here just to save some strangers. That would be a day to see. Jack finally found the container, ordinary resistant space container in which you would hold your possessions on a space trip; just another trick of stealing.<p>

"Hero of the year, 5094., still looking good" John approached him from behind still mocking him because he was stupid enough to save that crate full of people instead to just run off with the money. Jack lost his sense of humour. Jack's phone rang.

"Cute boy" of course he noticed "ringing to warn you about me."

"If you harmed him in any way" Jack said calmly knowing he would tear him in pieces without any regret. Luckily John knew that too.

"You know he's pretty, but stupid" John couldn't resist "you used to have better taste." Like always he thought of himself as a great catch.

"Doesn't look like that from here" Jack wasn't impressed by him in any way, Ianto was world apart from him.

"Radiation cluster bomb, really?" Jack couldn't resist but to laugh at him and his old tricks. There was no real danger, and Jack was in too good of a mood to be bothered by his old lover he used to justify so many times looking away from his deeds. He was over with that loop that always repeated itself like their time in the time loop, always going between damnation and forgiveness.

_`Oops I was bad but I'm sexy` he stood there covered in blood smiling like everything was ok._

_`That was too horrible; you're crazy you know that` Jack tried to wrap his mind around sight before him._

_`Yes but it will undo itself in five days and everyone will live again;` He answered like it was a simple act._

_`Still, it isn't right, how will you act when this is over.`_

_`I'll be good I promise, I'll even go to rehab.` He started his old promise._

_`I don't believe you, you'll just bail and skip the boring part leaving it all behind`_

_`You can make me` He wiggled his eyebrows seductively, it didn't work so well underneath brown blood crust._

_`I can never make you do anything.`_

_`Well if you tell the Time agency how badly all this has influenced me they could make me go.` He made his innocent face._

_`If I tell them everything they'll just throw you in jail to rot`_

_`Uh` he would frown, that frown was adorable on his younger face `they can't know, what will I do if I lose this, you know I suck at being bored and tied down`_

_`I know` Jack sighed and looked at the dismantled bodies `I'll think of something, but please don't do this again, it makes me sick.`_

_`My poor baby` he would pout `I was inconsiderate, you're a delicate flower I'll be more discreet next time.`_

_`What?` Jack would shout but he would just smiled sheepishly._

_`It was a joke, can't you tell a joke. You're too jumpy, maybe you would be more relaxed like I am if you'd join me on a little murder spree.`_

_`What did I say?` at this point Jack would start to lose his patience and he would know how to tell that._

_`No more funny shit, let's get out of here, it makes me sick too, I don't know what has gotten into me, those are real creatures, they are not toys, some of them were even human, but they will be that again and I'll let them be, promise.`_

_`You better, because one of this days this loop will be broken and what if it is now, how would you explain this?`_

_`Work stress` he offered weakly and led Jack by the hand outside `let's just pretend this never was, I went crazy for awhile, I can't remember a thing, and maybe I wasn't the one who did it. You believe me, don't you? You know me, I always do my best to behave, I can't help it if boredom gets the best of me. I know what you should do, you should keep me better entertained.`_

Jack couldn't believe as John tried to lure him in with that old routine like he wasn't on the inside of it, like he doesn't know what that really implies and brings with it. Even if he hadn't lived more than a century from the last time he saw John, he would still see John for what he was, he'd gotten a chance to look at a deranged wizard behind his mirror and he could never fall for his tricks again. Back then John was older than he was and he still treated him like he was youngster, like he could ever ride behind him.

"Think of all of the mischief we could make" he said and Jack looked straight at him seeing him maybe for the first time clearly, knowing that it would reduce itself again to an endless chase where faces were just a blur in their pursuit on something that isn't there, on satisfaction that could never be reached that way. John was full of disdain towards the place that Jack chose to live in but all that Jack could see were all the lights that were lit up in the last few decades, he could trace their growth as he watched the city develop.

Jack couldn't contain his revelations anymore. He planned to play along until he was gone, but he had to put him off, to place him where he belonged, in his almost forgotten past. It was demeaning of him to try to get Jack in that old tune and seduction spiel he never managed to play out right, his aggressive and impatient nature would always get in the way.

"What are those, wrinkles around your eyes" he couldn't resist pointing out the time that had passed leaving him step closer to losing his physical aces he always played upon.

"They're laugh lines" John was offended Jack was immediately in better mood.

"Hell of a good joke" he answered with a smile, happy he closed that loop for good.

"It's you I'm laughing at" he answered bitterly "canister." Jack didn't want to give it away so easily; he just didn't want to play along anymore. He threw the canister behind his back.

"Oops" he mimicked John from long ago and laughed feeling free. John stared at him realising what that laugh meant, it meant that he wouldn't get to play with Jack anymore. His face formed a detached smile then turned cold before he pushed him off the building. As he fall, Jack was calm expecting pain, he should expect that, John wasn't the one to keep a toy after it stopped serving him.

* * *

><p><em>In a flash back scene I picture John like blond Spike from Buffy and young Jack with ruffled hair. Try that its a great combo :)<em>


	110. Painting a picture

_Spoiler alert: Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian_

* * *

><p>In the elevator Ianto stared at the numbers changing on the screen. He was acutely aware of Jack's presence, it was a small space and there was just an inch between them. This was the moment where he would, if he was different person or John for that instance, push the stop button and push him against the wall. Bu he wasn't that person, and he wasn't even sorry for that. He grew tired of the play, he didn't want to get back to casual shagging with Jack. As much as it was intense and addictive he would have to pretend that there wasn't anything more, that he hadn't crossed the line and started to care for the man. There was one thing that was worse than standing near the person you want and not doing anything, that was to be able to consume its body but forbidden from going deeper. Ianto felt an ache for Jack even from a distance, even when he was away he imagined him hurt and worried about it, but to stand so close and not be able to do anything was something Ianto could never do.<p>

That's why Ianto contained himself but it cost him his humour that started to escape from him in the last months, it was a relief to just joke around, relaxed and confident. Now he stood firm and closed up and he hated the seriousness that he displayed. He entered the floor focusing his thoughts on the task, he was still good at focusing but Jack broke his concentration with his lines. How did he manage to squeeze `exciting`, `exotic`, `romantic` and `butt` in the same sentence. Ianto couldn't think like that so he spoke up interrupting him before he suggest something more inappropriate, something that could tempt Ianto, he was too damn weak but he was determined to hold his ground. That's why he repeated results of the scan that they both knew.

"How are you Ianto?" Jack's voice changed its tone to less confident sound. It was a first sentence directed right at him, not spoken loud and theatrically for an absent audience.

"All the better having you here, sir" Ianto said with a smile and he was honest, despite his inner turmoil he knew he would be able to control himself and that his emotions would ease down. Having Jack in sight was good enough, he was enjoyable to watch, and this way his anxiety faded knowing he is safe.

"Can we drop the 'sir' now?" Ianto listened and didn't believe his ears, Jack's voice sounded insecure, sincere, and doubtful; he hadn't heard him like that before. "I was thinking when all this is over dinner, movie."

Ianto looked at him totally confused. It sounded like a proper asking out for a chat and spending time together, it sounded like something he would have said when he was asking someone out, someone you're anxious about.

"Are you asking me out on a date?" Ianto voiced out not willing to trust his judgment, this was Jack, in his head it could sound like something more casual and friendly. After all, he was a person who considered saying to someone that he was hot like he was saying hello.

"Interested?" he answered with a question not denying but holding his defensive pose with his hands behind his back, lifting his chin not giving anything more. Ianto turned around with turmoil in his guts.

"As long as it's not in an office" he said declining any thought about following through with his line of thoughts about offices and photocopy machines "some fetishes should be kept to yourself" he said expressing his own bitter feeling that had been with him when Jack left, he felt exposed and foolish.

That was enough exposure for Ianto, he showed enough enthusiasm for Jack so he got back to business at hand, and he would have none of Jack-action before that John character got the hell out of here. He wouldn't as much as loosen his tie as long as he was around.

Jack followed his lead and he tried to sound professional but to Ianto's ears, after he painted the picture of him sitting pant-less on the glass, top every office item that he named sounded like possible innuendo. Ianto needed him out of sight so he could focus on his task, if it took too long John would surely drop in and offer his version of sexy office time.

"So it's this floor or the roof. You're good on roofs." Ianto smiled at him thinking of the habit Jack had that Ianto discovered when he found him standing on the roof of the hospital just staring at the horizon not moving. It was like a meditation, he didn't even notice when Ianto stood behind him. Ianto was surprised by the sight so he stood there for awhile watching him not making a sound. He tried to make out what Jack saw out there but for Ianto there were only the same old buildings. Finally Jack moved and Ianto cleared his throat pretending he had just arrived.

In this moment Jack just nodded and headed towards the door looking submissive. Ianto turned to his task but then he discovered that he felt uneasy with that John thing, why did Jack ask him out when he was still obedient to his old lover, he still does his tasks when they are clearly false and he was lying.

"He's reminder of my past. I want him gone." Jack said firmly and Ianto knew he was telling the truth. Ianto nodded, it was enough, Ianto had a past of his own, and he knew that sometimes it was hard to make it go away.

Hopefully they would find this and he would be gone.

"By the way" Jack spoke up again and Ianto turned "was that a yes?"

"Yes" answered Ianto thinking of course it was, "yes" he added, what else could it be he thought inwardly and turned to find that damn thing so they could all be at peace from that John with a malicious smile.


	111. Tainted beauty

_A/N: we continue with short chapters, some more Jack inner musings._

_Spoiler alert: Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>Jack lifted himself slowly. It was painful to revive before everything was healed again. Usually it would be just a short passing pain that would last as long as his first intake of breath. But sometimes repairing needed his awaking presence. This was one of those times. His vertebrae were in an unnatural position that couldn't be healed without him straightening himself up through the pain. He made it in silence because if he didn't he would have shouted as loud as he could. He would never give John that kind of performance, not easily. When he was repaired and upright he noticed the silence. It could only mean that John wasn't there, noise would follow him anywhere. His hand felt naked.<p>

`Of course` he rubbed his wrist `he wouldn't miss out on such simple robbery'.

Jack lifted his head up following the line of the building. It was a long way to fall and as much as he didn't want to go up there again there was a mobile phone on the roof. Without his wrist strap he felt blind, he was unable to find his team or predict John but at least he could use this times technology. Of course he blocked their head sets but he would never bother with a messy technology like a mobile network. He would have to shut down the entire network. That would be too much leg work for him. Tosh could do it in a flash. Jack could hear the mobile ringing from the stairs. He ran the rest of the way as the phone didn't stop ringing. Ianto was calling. Jack answered with a sigh of relief and withheld his fear.

"Status?" he said in the phone to keep his bearings.

"All accounted for" Ianto informed him briefly with what he knew Jack needed to hear "Owen wounded, flesh wound, Gwen poisoned but cured, Tosh has a split lip" he lined up things by severest of the injuries, that meant Ianto was intact.

"Your status?" Ianto asked in return with his short ordering voice he wasn't aware of.

"Alive" Jack was brief "pick me up by the office building; he's taken a key to the house."

"We're already on the way" said Ianto firmly "We'll be there in ten" he ended the call. Jack looked at the phone fondly. They knew to handle things.

As Jack waited for them on the pavement he didn't look at the bench but he kept looking up the building. Maybe it was a relief that John had finally killed him. He always thought he might, because living alongside with someone like John meant nothing was safe, it was only question of time when you'd become an enemy. Jack felt like it was the final ending between them. He was dead to John, and if he didn't show himself, John would always think of him as dead, even more he would enjoy the fact he was the one to decide Jack's ending. As much as Jack loved his own privacy and knew his undying was a weakness, he couldn't let John win like that. It was one of the rare times when this undying ability was something that would serve him to win a break up; because this was a break up. In the messed up timelines of time travelers one could never be sure when an ending is really the end or just postponing. But this was the line, death was always the line there was no turning back from, and John had intended to send him across that line.

When the car arrived Jack climbed in the passenger seat and Ianto drove. His knuckles were white from squeezing the wheel. Gwen was pale, Owen clenched his jaw, and Tosh looked pissed. Ianto looked annoyed; Jack smiled at his profile enjoying his presence. Jack looked over their injuries and could clearly see John's twisted logic in his actions. Tosh had only been beaten because she flirted and admired, after all for John beatings were foreplay. Owen was shot because he was immediate competition and clearly wasn't infatuated by John. Gwen was poisoned by a kiss because she dared to contradict Jack and challenge him. In John's twisted mind he was protecting him from her. Ianto was intact because it was meant for him to run around and be used for extortion later on; and because John couldn't fight his aesthetic nature and taint something perfect. Jack was grateful for that.


	112. Perfect and fresh

_Spoiler alert: Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang_

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>Ianto couldn't find that damn canister. In the silence he suddenly heard bell of the elevator and he just knew it was trouble, it was too quiet. He pulled out the gun trying to cover every angle. The elevator doors were open and he slowly leaned in just to feel the steel of a gun barrel. He cursed silently at his own mistake. Ianto wasn't surprised when he saw John's ugly face. His fury came back with a burning desire to shoot him.<p>

"Your friends are bleeding" he said coldly. "Maybe even dying" he looked satisfied with that notion.

"Why are you doing this?" Ianto couldn't just leave, he had to ask, to understand why he would betray Jack in such manner.

"Money!" he shouted and pushed Ianto back in the elevator and Ianto knew in that moment that he was completely crazy and hating him was the only option.

When the door closed Ianto banged on the wall feeling helpless, worried about Jack but obligated to the team. He hated the fact that he had to choose, he had to let Jack die again, because for Ianto there was no doubt that John will kill Jack just to see it happen.

There wasn't time to hesitate so he called Jack from the car trying to at least warn him but there was no reply. It was all he could do so he focused on the team, hoping that he would be there in time. The warehouse with Tosh and Owen was closer so he went there first. He feared for Gwen, she went alone with him, who knows what he thought of for her. It was a relief to see the two of them alive, it wasn't relief to find Gwen immobile but luckily they could rely on Owen to find a way; working in the field made Ianto appreciate their doctor a bit more.

As soon as she was on her feet Ianto jumped behind the wheel driving back to office building thinking it was in vain, John had already taken Jack through the Rift. He started to call his phone it rang and rang, but when he was disconnected he dialled again. The rest of them didn't ask where he was going, they were preoccupied by stitching and healing.

"Status?" Ianto heard Jack's firm voice in his ear and almost reeled off the road. He looked in the mirror at their surprised faces and started to count injuries while his mind tried to wrap around feelings that had burst in his chest. He wanted to know everything that happened, where John was, what did he do, was he dead; if he wasn't Ianto wanted to change that.

"Alive" was Jack's short and uninformative answer and Ianto knew he couldn't do anything about that. If he started to shout now everyone would stare at him and he probably wouldn't get any reply so he told Jack he was on his way and hung up. If they ever got to go on that bloody date, Jack Harkness and him, damn Jack would have talk about something real, or he just wouldn't get any. Damn him, if Ianto agreed to have some sort of relation with him and only got his shit of short replies and anecdotes about people long dead. He would rather bring him coffee, call him sir and hold his coat than offer sex and listen to those superficial stories that made him seem invincible.

When he pulled over and saw Jack standing there in his Captain pose with his hands behind his back and chest puffed out Ianto got confirmation that he'd died. He looked perfect and fresh, his hair looked freshly groomed, and his skin looked rested, there were no cuts on him, but his coat was crumpled and his eyes were dark and clouded. As Ianto drove on and the car was filled with the fresh scent of Jack, Ianto wondered how many times Jack had gotten in the car just after he died and none of them knew. Well, maybe Gwen knew. Ianto looked at her in the mirror, she looked exhausted. It wasn't a privilege, Ianto reminded himself, that she knew, she had simply seen it with her own eyes and Jack had to accept that.

Jack's hand moved and brushed Ianto's briefly and then it withdrew. It was a short contact but it was enough to reel Ianto's thoughts in another direction where he didn't bother so much with talking.


	113. A victory

_Spoi__lers: Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>They had entered the Hub silently. Tosh had disabled the cog door mechanism and they had pushed it slowly expecting gunshots every moment but they were in luck, nothing was heard. In the silence they spread around picking up their weapons. Owen gave a signal towards medical bay and they went to the railing pointing their guns at John.<p>

Jack hesitated for a brief moment staying behind, reluctant to reveal himself, to show his survival. He listened to that too familiar voice and mockery in it, triumph, and sound of victory when he spoke of him. At that sound Jack moved determined to look him in the eye, to show himself, to let him know he was heard. His pure enjoyment came as a sting to Jack, there wasn't even a trace of regret in his tone. Jack leaned on the rail and looked upon him with delight; there weren't many times like this when you could just win, clean and simple.

"I can never die" he said with satisfaction on his astonished face. "You can never kill me" he felt a need to clarify that for him, that he could never be the one to say when Jack ends. John did make an effort to make it a joke, and after he recovered himself he managed to find a fault in Jack's immortality.

"All that trauma and pain, you feel all that" he said well acquainted with what dying brings with it. Jack hated him in that moment for realizing that.

Naturally, after he got his way of despising Jack's gift, he got back to bargaining and trying to get his fortune he chased around for in vain. Even if he managed to score something he managed to lose it in a heartbeat. More often it was just a shot in the dark but Jack decided to follow it through and let him open his damn map to legendary treasure. It was the easiest way to send him on his way across the galaxies in search for a phantasm. He had no more patience to deal with him and couldn't stand his voice or presence; he just wanted him gone so he could get on with his life. In the car Ianto looked disturbed so he reached out just to pat him on his arm, to give neutral reassurance but as soon as he brushed his hand he felt desire storm through his body so he pulled back quickly pushing those feelings down. It had been too long since he was touched tenderly. In fact Ianto was last to touch him in that manner even if he didn't remember that now. Since he'd gotten back he hadn't had any chance to make contact with him, he held his arms behind his back mostly to control them. It was frightening how his body craved another's touch. He justified himself that it was because of that he yielded to his old addiction to John. Now when he watched him across the table he couldn't understand that moment of weakness, he couldn't see anything appealing in him anymore.

Jack hadn't expected anything much from the device even when the bomb activated he wasn't disturbed. It was something that could be expected sooner or later in John's life, full of death and you couldn't say it wasn't deserved. He pleaded for help and Jack couldn't think of a reason to do so but like a rat he would always climb on someone else to save his skin. He handcuffed himself to Gwen and Jack started to worry. Of course she wouldn't be her Welsh self if she couldn't find a way out of his grip. Jack wasn't so alarmed because he knew his tricks with handcuffs and keys but that kind of device was hard to neutralise. Owen pulled him aside.

"I'm an improviser" he said and Jack trusted him following his orders. In the medical lab Owen was the king and his solutions were often mere wonder. In some ways he was to chemicals what Tosh was to computers.

After that they jumped in Owen's car catching them in the nick of a time bringing John to the ground. In the back ground Ianto counted down the seconds giving the situation a surreal feel and causing Jack to feel a strange mix of fear and excitement. As the bomb flew through the air and they ran Jack didn't think about the bomb or danger, he thought about how he loved that stopwatch and just how they could use it again, they never had finished that list of Ianto's. He would have to find time for that, there was no time to mess around with the past that never tasted as good as the present; it was just an old addiction and fear of the vast universe, nothing more. John had seen the determination in his eyes and he finally accepted his defeat, but not quite. As he entered the Rift like the true rogue Jack never, was he pointed his last sting towards his former partner.

"I found Grey" he said and Jack winced under a flash of pictures and regrets that were never too far away, but that couldn't be true, Jack had searched everywhere, it was just one more of his lies, an attempt to make him run after him across the stars. He wouldn't fall into that wild goose chase again. That's why he turned away determined to delete John from his mind, to turn him into dust like so many of his memories did. Why this one was so persistent when so many more important ones were vanquished by time and other interferences.


	114. The hunter

_A/N: here is long one, It's a John's view so if you don't like him you can skip this without loss although I'm quite fond of this one, I just love crazy characters, always did._

_Spoilers: Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>As he exited the Rift stream he felt like gentleman. It was an elegant way to travel through space and time. There was nothing of that headache and stiffness that his vortex manipulator caused. There was a quarrel before him and he approached entangled couple with mild curiosity, he liked to see a good murder from up close. He was a master of the trade but there was always something new to be learned. He was disappointed to discover that the attacker was just faking it. He hated cowards that made his victims feel less scared, less aware of severity of the world, reality of the threat, the closeness of death. That's why he let that man fall. He wasn't even appreciating his effort to bring him close to death, making him taste it. He just whined so he let him fall. He let the other one go. He was too easy of prey, he just wasn't worthy of his time, and he had more important errands to do.<p>

Even before he crossed to this God forsaken place he already knew his bearings. His friend, the ugly fish, had died although that wasn't surprising. He had sent him to play the bad guy, beside which he could look innocent and trust worthy, but of course he played his part too well. No matter, he would rectify that with a slight change of plan. He would be a good and a bad guy, he is everything after all. He tapped at his wrist strap and smiled satisfied with the other signature in his circuits. He was here; his smell almost reached his nostrils all the way across town.

When his lost canisters fell through the Rift and ended up here he sent out his agent, the fish, to an earlier spot in space and time to research the place. It was best to know how to blend in some place and time, not that he bothered, but it was good to know if there were some serious adversaries or not. To his disappointment there was none. Even Grey's older brother, his own former partner wasn't home at that moment. Grey, to his annoyance, refused to disclose his real name so he was still just a partner with no name. That was the reason for Grey letting him come and claim his map to biggest treasure ever. If he found the treasure it would mean independence and leisure, Grey would be left behind in the dust; but now his wrist strap registered the kinder brother and John wasn't about to turn around and report to Grey. No he will strap that wild and delicious partner of his around him, take that map, find that diamond and snatch that piece of gorgeous ass for himself in front of Grey's vengeful nose.

It was fun to plan Grey's vengeance with him, but he thought that it was just a children's game, that he would snap as soon as he saw his older brother. There will be a waterfall of tears and nothing fun would be done. At least he told that to himself because even he was unease when he listened as though plans evolve. So he decided in a spur of the moment that he would be a saviour and protect him from his crazy brother Grey. Even if he didn't follow through with his vengeance, he would still ruin him of anything fun and easy, tears and remorse, redeeming attempts when time couldn't go back, it's just not fun at all.

He just needed a proper setting to revive their past.

The Reunion bar was the right thing to do so. Not just because of the name, but when he entered it had that feel of the places they used to hang out. He strolled down the bar picking out the good looking ones from the ugly ones before the gorillas came to escort him out. Then he decided he just didn't need anyone to stay. He was enough of a treat.

"Did I mention I was armed" he said with a sweet smile and enjoyed the sight of utter panic and running, the pretty ones running as much as the ugly ones. He liked it that way. It was amusing to play sexy but dangerous, it was just much more him.

He dialled but there was no answer. That was annoying but he left a message that couldn't be turned down and sat to wait, pouring a drink to keep him company.

When he entered it was even better that he imagined. Yes he was older but there was a feel about him, authority, seriousness, and plain sexy. He always managed to play sexy better than dangerous and it was best that way. It kept getting better when he snagged him; it was so good he had to punch him. It was an orgy of pain and competition, they were still a perfect match, punch for punch no backing down, and as fast on weapon as ever. After that words flew.

"What are you wearing?" he asked in wonder to his ancient clothes that would never fit into this era, it was just obscure and dull.

"Captain Jack Harkness" he introduced his new self, his new cover, a new lie "note the stripes."

"Captain John Hart" he decided in that moment matching his initials making them same as they were "note the sarcasm" he could never fool him with his high and righteous attitude, they were cut from the same cloth. John Hart, he thought reaching out to put on his new persona, dangerous Captain of the far stars that grew up on far Moon of Anderion who had four siblings and red headed mother

After that he lowered his front and had a drink with him, it all went well until he changed the pace for no obvious reason sending him away. The only reason John Hart could think of were those shadows on the glass. Jack, the persona that his partner was here, had put up his front for his team that had caught up with him. John made them show their faces and wasn't pleased with what he saw.

One short ugly man, other short but pretty female, maybe potential in bed, another taller woman, possibly slutty but too aggressive for real fun, and lanky guy with a cute face. That last one he hated immediately, it was just the type Jack here would drool about, nothing interesting on him except his face, hopefully he chose slutty one, she was a shag without further questions.

John's suspicions were confirmed when that lanky boy asked the partner question, of course he had to show him the nature of things, he wasn't the first one to bark at that gorgeous tree that hid himself behind Jack Harkness. John had forgotten just how good looking Jack-tree was, he wanted to jump him on the spot but there was a business to attend to, and diamonds always came fist. And that irritating boy was there.

Irritating enough, this persona Jack Harkness seemed immune to his charm so he let him fall back to familiar grumpiness, he'd win him over later on. He told them the story and all started to dance around to John Hart's tune. He just loved that. That little girl with brains showed potential, he would like see her strapped down or strapped between something. The other one smiled at him and he could see the appeal in her big eyes, he wouldn't mind for her to go down on him. It would be a nice appetiser for the big meal, but that skinny candy face distracted him from his fantasies with his towering over him, it wasn't sexy at all, he was all dry and flat, he certainly wasn't ready to please. That other short guy had just put him down, the only arousing thing he could do was bleed out. Then that Gwen girl really called him Vera, he hated that persona all famine and soft, and stood up to her boss, Jack. John turned to see the show of dominance and male power but he was cut short. Jack refused to make a show, to put her to the kneeling position she was made for. She couldn't really believe she was a match for two of them, that she could ever make a worthy adversary. Jack controlled himself, it was something new and it wasn't good. Maybe he would forgive her that puny illusion of greatness but he couldn't let go that she assigned his man toy with that child with no skills in bed.

As that boy with the face held his guns for Captain John he didn't have the guts to even look at him, he just wasn't man enough for a bullet or a knife. No he wouldn't kill him and make him a martyr, he wasn't worthy of that destiny that would be marked in his lover for a long time. Jack in any form had that sad devotion of regretting the dead. No he'd make him run and see the other deaths just to be faced with his utter defeat when he snatches Jack before those candy eyes of his. John smiled, he would consider letting him tag along on a leash if he showed any sign of charm or attraction, this way he'd just be left in dust.

It was all too easy. Kiss the bratty girl and leave her to die, she deserved nothing better than to die alone in the dark, no one challenges his lover and got away with it. Hitting the brainy girl was thrilling but she obviously wasn't built for hard love so she was of no use to him. That ugly companion of hers who played the cynical hero wasn't even able to play an animal in a trap and get some reaction, he just gave himself up with his arms spread, no attempts at real glory or bravery. No clean death for him. He shot him in the belly, which should bleed out nicely, at this time of night with no phones or equipment; there were nice chance of dying. John loved to gamble like that, to leave not knowing if he'd killed or just left damaged and scared prey.

Then again eye candy turned out to be a joke just like he thought he was; he thought there was some reason or purpose. He let him run and see death like he planned but he did see that last glimpse of pure rage that would kill John if he could. John could see appeal in that, energy that could be harvested while he was chained down full of hate. It just wasn't funny enough to make an effort, he would never yield, and there is no fun if you couldn't break someone. That boy had stubbornness John knew to recognize, he was damaged already and not surprised at all at the danger, he didn't even wince when he mentioned death and hurt.

It was funny really that the cute boy tried to warn Jack. John just had to say that he was stupid, he wondered how Jack didn't see that, but there were more important matters to attend to. He spread his cards, laying it all down before him. He thought he couldn't lose, after all he offered everything, and they did work well together. That good partner, in every sense, he hadn't got in years. It was going well until Jack started to ridicule him, to despise his life; more than anything he despised his skill, like it was just a false decoy. But John decided it wasn't important, Jack wasn't important, Grey was on the way to collect him and John wouldn't stand in his way.

"Canister" he returned to the important matter but then Jack just threw it away. It wasn't the fact that he threw it, it could be easily found and they both knew that but the carelessness, the lack of any connection. It was very clear that there is no future; that this was not just postponing to hump some pretty face, it was terminal closing, Jack had just sign him off like they all did eventually. He just wasn't going to take that so he just pushed him. It wasn't a big push; Jack was foolish enough to stand near the edge like there was no danger. He practically provoked him, even if they weren't fighting it was teasing to stand on the edge pretending it wasn't there. Had he gone completely soft or did he want to die? John watched Jack fall without regret; it was a nice fall, and quick death. He just loved to push people off the buildings, Jack should have known that. John slowly descended down postponing the pleasure of seeing him dead and still and forever his, he would be the last thing he saw, the thing he would take to death with him. There were many there who shared that view and there would be many more.

"Rehab didn't really work" he said to his unmoving body and was rewarded by silence, there was no contradicting. John took his wrist strap to open the Hubs door, but mainly as a souvenir, a reminder of him because he was a great lover and fun companion before he turned cold and distant.

As he touched his lips John thought it was a favour really, to give him this clean and fast death in which his beauty remained intact. If Grey did put his hands on him it wouldn't be pretty or a fast death. While his plans unravelled themselves it was harder and harder to say he'd diminish it to some reasonable amount of hurt and pain. Torture was never John's favourite class at the Time Agency. He'd done it but never with real pleasure, he liked death more than pain itself. Now that Jack was dead and Grey was robbed of his retribution John would have to stay away from him. Luckily universe was vast. Thinking of how hard was to spot Jack in all that. This was the only time when they could reach him. Before this it was like he was everywhere and nowhere in the same time, and after he left Earth it was like he vanished. Grey was happy with the fact that they couldn't find record of him dying anywhere, that meant that he could do it; he could delete him from existence.

John had really found him by accident. He was always fascinated by human history before they had left the Earth. He watched the movies, listened to the music, and studied murders and robberies. He switched to famous hunters of aliens and there he was, his picture smiling in that silly coat like he had no care in the world, just enjoying life. That picture had sent Grey over the edge and his plans became more and more disturbing. They started to research and then only time where there were some records of him was when he became Torchwood leader, before that he was just a ghost that would appear here and there. Grey had thought he had decided to rule that particular time, early twenty first century. That was only explanation for his constant appearance during the twenty century, arranging his appointment to Torchwood leader and killing all its agents. But then nothing happened, he just lingered like that, hanging in one time stream before disappearing again.

"I must have killed him" said Grey with unsatisfied voice "but he can't get off so easily. Why is he so content there? It must be because of the people, the people he works with. Send someone to find out everything about them, nothing has survived, not even pictures, he must have stayed because of them." Then he smiled. "They will die for that, they will suffer, all of them will suffer. That space and that time that he loves so much will vanish like it never was and all the random people he could love there will disappear in smoke and fire. Everything that ever crawled from their precious Rift will feed on them."

John was really a saviour of this place, of this puny little town, they would all live because he sacrificed his lover, and they should put a statue in honour of him. But it wasn't important there was a stone for him, a stone that would give him independence from Grey or any like him.

He was just about to assemble his map when they returned. That was quick, he was impressed.

"Beautiful and resilient" Jack just knew how to pick them. Eye candy looked more appealing with a gun in his hand; he looked like he could do rough. He did good leg work and got to them all almost in time.

"I'm afraid your boss is spread on the..." he was about to crush them and then make them join him but then he appeared all perfect and unspoiled "pavement."

He smiled at him alive as ever.

"Well that's impressive; you could earn a fortune with that show in the Vegas galaxies." They would always come for more to figure out his trick.

It was hard to take when he said there it was no trick that he couldn't die. John's mind worked fast to find his way out of this situation offering them half of the diamond, like he wouldn't find a way to get his way out of that. He saw Jack dead; there wasn't a doubt about that. Then it clicked, he died and then revived and all the pain and trauma was there. It opened whole world of pain and pleasure that Grey could get out of it. Of course Jack agreed to the money so he got to open his map finally.

"There never was a diamond" the woman said and he shouted in despair.

"There has to be a diamond. It was all about the diamond" he cried. He's done whole this epopee just because of it, the seducing and killing, messing with Grey's plans, everything. Then a bomb attached to him and they were ready to just sit by and watch. Even Jack asked why he should help John. No he won't die like that without fight. He grabbed that loud woman that refused to die from his poison; they cared about her, and handcuffed himself to her.

He was unpleasantly surprised by her when she grabbed him and led him to their death without a fight or fear, just plain spite and determination. She was scary, willing to die, he wasn't willing to die. He always wanted to go fucking but that was out of reach, all those beautiful creatures outside of the window moving while he rushed towards his ungraceful death.

"What is the use of a team if you don't get last minute saving" he shouted while that pretty face counted down seconds. Then he got his last minute, or more second, saving and it was ungraceful as everything here. He ended up with their DNA inside of him and he felt disgusted by that, he didn't like them one bit anymore. They witnessed his defeat and he was ready to go. Before he left he gave Jack a parting gift. He said he found Grey hoping he would follow him and leave this place where he was just a sitting duck for Grey's plans. John could keep him safe and running, but he didn't take the bait and he just stayed there waiting for his death and that of his friends. It was a pity really, but John wasn't going to stay around and witness it all. He'd stay away leaving the pleasure of unending pain to Grey. Maybe even he'd feed his hunger with Jack's undying nature, but John wasn't ready to see that. One death per person was enough for him and he already got his kick by killing Jack, he didn't need another shot of that.

* * *

><p><em>It would be nice to hear comments on this one. Indulge me, please :)<br>_


	115. Sleeping arragements

_No spoilers_

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>Ianto sat across the table from Jack and watched him talk and listen. He had more listened than talked. Ianto hadn't spoken at all. He wasn't pleased with himself. The John experience left him feeling uneasy. He was far too happy when that bomb attached itself to John; he enjoyed the image of him being blown away. And just moments before his mind let whole another set of images to enter.<p>

"Unless someone fancies an orgy?" John said with his sleazy voice and for a brief moment Ianto was flooded with a string of images that included the three of them, Ianto, Jack and John, but he was fast to clear that away because everyone of them would include John and he couldn't bare him near Jack, even in his thoughts.

He sobered up quickly when Gwen entered into equation and the threat of the bomb became real.

"Drinks on me" Jack said still serious when John had finally disappeared.

They sat in the bar and conversation started to fly around as usual when more than two people were present. Questions were asked but none of them persisted in getting an answer and Jack deflected it all with light humour and counter questions. He got answers, most of them. Ianto had to notice everyone was acting strangely. Gwen fumbled with her phone looking embarrassed and uncomfortable sitting near Ianto with Tosh between her and Jack. Tosh talked to Jack ignoring everyone else looking happy. Owen was serious, not flirting even to the waitress. It all could be explained by the strange night, exhaustion and Jack's returning but they were used to shocks of all kinds.

Jack was the strangest of them all. He sat there all serious in spite of his jokes; his smile didn't meet his eyes. And his flirt was still missing. John was out of the picture but his flirt hadn't returned. Nobody was flashed his Harkness grin, no phone numbers were thrown his way; he didn't even look around to notice the beauty and appeal. He had been serious since he got back but he had a flare for running and his smile would flash around without awareness, but that was extinguished after John had left.

Ianto could feel stupor and coldness, the walls were lifted and his eyes were looking but his hands weren't grabbing, his body hadn't leaned towards them, Tosh's hand lay on the table unpatted. He was disconnected and his eyes didn't dart in Ianto's direction to check on him. Ianto was almost unaware that Jack did that; he would randomly just place his gaze on him just to see if Ianto was still there. The change in Jack was overwhelming. Since he'd gotten back Ianto crossed through all sorts of emotions trying to keep his bearings at all times, to be cautious and careful to spare himself the pain. But now he forgot of all that. Ianto could almost touch the pain behind Jack's wall, and he knew to recognize pain too well. He walked through it often enough to know how it felt and what it looks like. Jack carried on the conversation and the banter but he was only partly here, he was dealing something behind the wall that was hidden from sight. Ianto didn't care anymore for bargaining and conditions of their reencounter, he just wanted to touch him.

"So" Ianto spoke up "where will everyone go? I'll go home, its empty anyway and I won't disturb any timelines. The bed is there, I'll finally get some sleep" everyone stared at him, stopped mid conversation. Jack looked at him curiously a little less absent.

"That's not bad idea mate" Owen cheered up "I'm so drowsy I could sleep on my feet. My place is empty too."

"I'll walk you home" Tosh jumped in "don't want you to end up in some alley sleeping in the dumpster."

"Nonsense" Jack jumped up "I'll drive you all home, safe and sound."

"Rhys will be pleased" Gwen mumbled "we're just talking while that damn man waits to kill me. It's so good to be alive; it will be a nice surprise, night at home."

"First Owen" Tosh said as they exited.

"No, no" Owen defended himself "first Gwen she needs rest after everything. And you must be tired."

"I'll sleep better if I know you're home" Tosh said quietly and Owen didn't contradict.

Owen had taken the passenger seat and the other three of them sat behind. Jack drove in silence dropping them off at their door steps.

"You're just around the corner" Jack spoke up as they watched Tosh unlock her front doors. Ianto sat behind him.

"No" Tosh had waved to them as she closed her door behind her "I moved it's a bit further. I'll show you."

There was a silence again broken by short instructions. Finally Jack stopped but Ianto remained in his seat. Neither of them moved and Ianto watched back of Jack's head.

"Where will you go?" Ianto asked quietly.

"Don't worry, I'll drive around" he answered looking through the window.

"What did he say in the end?" Ianto continued calmly, there was no way around it, and he wasn't ready to pretend the elephant wasn't in the room.

"A name" Jack sighed "the name of someone I lost long time ago. He lied because he knew it would hurt. He couldn't find him, he's lost, probably dead for many years, but not yet; he won't exist for a long time." Ianto could hear loss and there was no place for jealousy or further questions.

"You can come in if you like" Ianto started and hurried to explain "just for a coffee, or a couch, I have a couch if you like. I don't believe you would enjoy roofs tonight."

Jack laughed shortly and it was a pleasant laugh.

"No I wouldn't. Not for a while. I can't hide from you, can I Ianto Jones" he said his name again like an exclamation and Ianto enjoyed it like he always did, even before. "You know I would like that, I've stopped appreciating solitude in the last year."

Ianto didn't question his miscalculation of time that had passed, he accepted as he often did, Jack's word as truth.

"So" he said "whole year, no wonder you look older." Ianto exited the car and Jack followed him.

"Hey" Jack shouted and Ianto glanced back with a smile just to show he's joking, Jack often couldn't tell, he was calmed down by that smile.

"But you know" Jack spoke up as they climbed the stairs "our date still stands, this doesn't count, it's just your version of the Hub."

"As you wish, sir" Ianto mimicked his butler accent and unlocked the door.

* * *

><p>:)<p> 


	116. The Wonderland

_A/N: Ianto's place._

_No spoilers  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>For Jack it was like being led into the wonderland. New apartments were like treasure chests for him. They would contain clues and traces of people that lived in them, traces of their lives and connections. Being accepted in someone's home was a step of trust and intimacy Jack had rarely indulged in. That often was a sign of certain expectations from him that he started to behave in a certain way, to visit often and to grow old. Not to disappear and reappear as young as ever pretending to be his own son or grandson hoping that old age would dull their sense and ability to notice his lack of aging. This was whole other perspective with all the cards on the table, no hidden rules.<p>

Jack followed Ianto's lead and pulled off his shoes. The place had nice hardwood floors with a rug in the middle. A big, brown leather couch sat in the middle of the living room. Before that there was a big screen TV surrounded with boxes of DVDs and Hi-Fi system with big speakers. By the side wall there was a big book shelf fully packed with books and beside it a small dresser with three picture frames. One contained what Jack assumed was Ianto's father, and another of Ianto's mother with a small Ianto; they were divided by a picture of a family. Jack assumed it could be his sister because there was a girl in a picture with a father. There was no sign of Lisa.

"Coffee? Tea?" Ianto spoke up moving towards small kitchen area. "Maybe Tea is better, I would like to sleep, something without tea."

"Tea without tea sounds great" Jack crossed his arms behind his back approaching the book shelf.

He stood before the printed books, they always remained a romantic mystery for him, letters on paper that you could touch, it was a wonderful sensation. He rarely read them, for him they were history, something old and outdated, romantic and full of silly beliefs and delusions. More than the books he watched Ianto as he moved around kitchen, it was a view to remember. The kitchen was small with brown wood and white tiles, a long counter that was used as a table, but it was fully packed with kitchenware and supplies that were seen when he opened the cupboards. Ianto lived here. There was even a reading chair, a comfortable looking armchair with tall lamp beside it. On the table beside it there were few books with bookmarks. Everything was neat, so the apartment didn't speak much about Ianto but that was fun too because it was so Ianto, all closed up and out of grasp.

Jack focused on the shelf to see what it said about him. There were all sorts of novels, silly unbelievable fiction and classics. The thing that was out of ordinary was Dickens collected works. The other books were used, read, categorized by some unknown order that was known only to Ianto, but Dickens was new, intact and whole edition from same publisher. Jack pulled out Piccadilly Club. Before he could open it something behind caught his eye. He reached behind and took out bunch of pictures. There was Lisa, pushed behind the unused books but still not in the trash. Jack could see by the darker corners of the pictures that these ones once were in frames displayed around. She was beautiful.

"She didn't offer me to come back" Jack remembered how Ianto explained himself to him on the Valliant "I didn't do it to get her back." It was a world of confession to make. The one that said that he'd moved passed her and was available, that he hadn't betrayed him for her. Ianto had moved to a new place and her pictures were stashed behind. Jack could understand that. He had full box of pictures stashed in the bottom drawer. They weren't the faces he wanted to be reminded of daily, but he wasn't willing to forget them all together, that would be a loss. He put the pictures back in their place in the past.

As he pushed Dickens back in his place Ianto came in with a tray.

"I met Dickens once" Jack said as Ianto raised his eyebrow ironically "just before he died, lively fellow, he told wonderful stories" one about the Doctor that Jack took away with him knowing that it wasn't for publishing nor would it ever be.

Ianto had put a tray on the coffee table and sat on the couch. Jack followed his lead and positioned himself on the opposite corner leaving space between them, he didn't trust his instincts, they were too well trained to attack and seduce. After tonight he wasn't ready to let them lead. He remembered too well person he once was, careless and reckless.

"So, Jack" Ianto said his name thick and strong, leaning back on the arm rest "what story will you tell about your adventures out in space."

Jack opened up his mouth but nothing came out. After moment of silence he closed it.

"No stories" he said finally. Ianto closed his eyes. "There is simply nothing funny to say about it" Jack continued staring at the cup in his hand, it was nice white, porcelain and delicate, it was like nothing he would ever own. Things that were his had to be robust and unbreakable.

"Really?" Ianto's voice sounded angry and Jack had put down his cup ready to go, his welcome would soon run out. "Just as I thought. You just ran off like that all happy and carefree and just threw yourself in world of grief and danger. It just pisses me off that you never think; you just ran and throw yourself before danger no matter how big. Tell me was it worse than Abbadon, because you look like it was. You couldn't stay and play it safe. No, that's not your suit. Any sign of danger and you just dash off don't you?"

Jack watched him with a frown as Ianto yelled at him. His face was all red and eyes small, he was really upset; he didn't even look at Jack as he was talking. Jack remembered the last thing Ianto said to him, that he'd let himself be killed just to punish Jack for being in such trouble. Maybe time had been rewound but Ianto stayed the same as ever, he wanted Jack safe and in sight. Jack smiled feeling all fuzzy inside. It's been ages since somebody worried about him. Sure there were lovers, loves, desires, caring, but worry just never suited him. People just never saw him as somebody that could get hurt, even if they didn't know he couldn't die. Ianto knew he couldn't die and he still worried. He discovered that he liked that, that it was soothing in some way; that Ianto still saw him as human, as breakable. Jack decided that it deserved some compensation, that fear and annoyance that were in Ianto because of him. He moved forward and took the cup from Ianto's hand placing it on the table. Ianto looked at him bewildered but Jack just smiled at him wider knowing it would be enough for him not to push him away.

"What?" Ianto said breathlessly as Jack leaned towards him.

"Just to make us even" Jack whispered as Ianto sank in the couch, Jack didn't back down. "A little thing I owe you" he spoke barely a whisper against his lips "so we can start fresh, counting from zero" with that he closed the gap between their lips and closed his eyes.

He felt Ianto trembling beneath him but his lips had responded and they pressed themselves to Jack granting him access.

It didn't last long. Jack hadn't used his advantage to gain more. It was compensation for a short kiss, not long one, besides he was invited to sleep over nothing more. Jack backed away making himself comfortable on the couch, leaning back turning towards Ianto. Ianto stayed down staring at him stupefied.

"I'm sorry I got myself into trouble" Jack said simply "I just had to get answers. Maybe I should have stayed, it would spare a lot of people grief if I did."

"No" Ianto straightened himself up taking his cup "I don't believe you've caused grief, you just have the misfortune of attracting trouble, that doesn't make you guilty for it."

Jack laughed from relief. Even if he didn't know anything, Ianto still firmly believed that Jack wasn't the one to blame. That was so refreshing. He looked at him with suspicion.

"I'm not laughing at you" Jack hurried to explain himself and didn't even notice that he was doing it "I'm laughing from joy, I love the way you look at things. I've missed that."

Ianto arched his eyebrows holding his breath for a moment.

"Well it's always nice to be appreciated" he took out his polite smile and Jack had let it go drinking a sip of his tea, it tasted divine, warm and sour, he forgot how tasteful drinks and food can be.


	117. Smug enough

_A/N: Ianto's place_

_No spoilers  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>Ianto was unnerved by the kiss. It was so intimate and tender and he took it with ease. He wanted more when it ended. Tea from hibiscus didn't soothe his nerves as it usually did. Jack talked something about scores but Ianto was too in the moment to care or listen. It was a shock for him to see Jack from up close eye to eye, to feel his breath on his lips, hard shape of his chin, soft texture of his lips, his scent and warmth. As they touched Ianto felt desire that ran through his body, not lust, not this time, but the desire to hold him. It was unsettling and he tried to keep his composure but he was failing miserably.<p>

Then Jack actually apologized to him. He expected him to leave or to make joke out of it, he surely didn't feel like he had the right to reprimand Jack like that; he just couldn't sustain it anymore. As evening grew darker it was clearer to Ianto that Jack was unwell and it just made him angrier with him because he was helpless, there were no hope he could ever make him safe, or at least better. But now Jack had accepted Ianto's concern like it was a normal thing to do, like he had the right to that and Ianto was lost for a moment. There was a whole new dimension, not only of Ianto's feelings, but also of Jack's behaviour, like something had changed and Jack had simply opened up before him, he trusted Ianto like he hadn't before. It was hard to adjust to that but then Jack laughed that rich laugh of his, which sounded free and beautiful.

"I'm not laughing at you" he said with a fond smile "I'm laughing from joy, I love the way you look at things. I've missed that" he finished looking him in the eye not backing down and Ianto stopped breathing. It was dangerous, Jack like this, he was truly irresistible. But then Ianto let go of that breath and his fear with it. He faced so many dreadful things, he was a part of Mountholder once; surely he wouldn't live in fear of Jack and all the wonderful things he could make him feel. Besides he had just said that he loved something of Ianto, and that he had missed him too. That was enough for Ianto so he put his smile up.

"Well it's always nice to be appreciated" Ianto said looking at Jack as he drank his tea, there was a focus on his face like he was doing something important. "But I think you've only come back for my beverages."

Jack laughed once again placing down his cup.

"I admit they taste divine, but you taste better" he looked him in the eye with a challenge and Ianto's smile widened.

"Do I?" Ianto chuckled moving a bit closer; Jack followed his lead and moved closer too "I wasn't aware that you studied that taste."

"It kind of stuck with me" Jack gave his crooked smile on the side and moved closer bringing their knees together.

"These kinds of things can do that" Ianto said reaching out his hand and finally indulging the craving that he had all night, he touched Jack's hand. Jack didn't hesitate he turned his palm up and took Ianto's hand in his. Jack's palm was warm and soft and he gave Ianto soft squeeze and suddenly Ianto was overpowered by sadness. He squeezed Jack's hand hard in attempt to chase away those feelings but this time Jack could see right through him, he reach out for Ianto's shoulder and dragged him near in a tight embrace. Ianto grabbed on to him burrowing his face on his shoulder. He felt ambushed by all those feelings he kept away and was never able to express, the loss he never admitted, the sorrow, and regret.

"It's ok" Jack whispered tenderly rubbing circles on his back "I understand."

"I've missed you too" Ianto's voice was rough from emotions but he didn't care.

"It's nice to be missed" Jack answered with light humour mimicking Ianto and Ianto laughed feeling relieved, he wasn't turned down like some deranged lunatic for having emotions. Ianto's feelings let up from that and he eased down his grip on Jack and moved away. Jack let him but he took his hand as they sat across each other but not too far away.

"What made you come back? I was sure you were going to stay. It is the Doctor we're talking about" Ianto could see a little wave of shock when he said his name but it was soon transformed in understanding smile.

"And you haven't explained it to them?" Jack sounded intrigued.

"Well" Ianto shrugged his shoulders "I didn't see how they would benefit from it, they could only get obsessed by something out of their grasp."

This time Jack wasn't slow or hesitant, he threw himself on Ianto pushing him out of balance while he snagged him. Ianto responded quickly pushing him back matching his moves but he was soon overpowered and laid on his back while Jack kissed him fiercely. Not that he complained but he lacked Jack's weight on him because he still supported himself on his hands not leaning in. After a while Jack moved away looking at him from above, Ianto was dazed. Jack was smiling and it was a good smile without shadows in it.

"I told you already, I've come back for you" he said like it was that simple and let himself fall beside Ianto positioning his body between back of the sofa and Ianto. Ianto frowned.

"But I've never gave out any signs" he said thinking about it. "That I want you back."

"What" Jack arched his brow with amused smile "you're sorry I've figured it out?"

"No" Ianto blushed under his gaze.

"Besides" Jack reached out for his waist and turned him towards him so they could lie face to face "I was more thinking of my own interests, and was smug enough to think you wouldn't mind."

Ianto chuckled silently again relaxed.

"And thank God we can always rely on you to be smug."

"Yeah" Jack leaned in for a kiss "Isn't that great."

Ianto hadn't had a chance to respond with something witty or less witty because he was once again locked to Jack's lips. He decided to not to think about it further, at least for the moment. He finally let himself enjoy Jack's presence. He closed his eyes and let himself enjoy the sensation; he inhaled his scent, and tasted his lips. As their kiss deepened and saliva met they tongues intertwined for the first time Ianto could remember and Ianto found himself burning from the need to consume Jack, to taste him whole but their hands remained high above the waist like they silently agreed to leave other pleasantries for later. Jack held him over his shoulders firmly pressing him against his chest and Ianto held his hands on Jack's face cupping his check. Beside that surge in his body, Ianto discovered that this was enough, that his need for Jack finally got fed.

* * *

><p><em>Reviews would be nice :)<em>


	118. Morning distraction

_A/N: Mornings can be great :)_

_No spoilers  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>Jack woke up surprised that he had slept again and that he had slept well, he was rested. The other thing that surprised him was a warm body beside him. He opened up his eyes and was welcomed by Ianto's sleeping face. They had fallen asleep on the couch without even a blanket, fully dressed and hugged. Jack couldn't remember last time that happened to him. His own arms were wrapped around Ianto's waist holding him so he wouldn't fall on the floor. More surprising was that Jack hadn't kicked him out in one of his vivid nightmares. He was free from them tonight. It was dawning as Jack studied Ianto's sleeping face. It was strange really, but he wasn't unnerved by that sight anymore, he enjoyed it.<p>

Soon Ianto started to slowly wake up, he squirmed making Jack aware of his morning need. As he stretched his arms that were around Jack's shoulders, he squeezed Jack tightly to him; that made Ianto frown with his eyes still closed. Jack smiled at that clearly seeing how Ianto quickly came to awareness recollecting himself. His eyes suddenly shot wide open and he looked shocked looking at Jack.

"Um, sorry, I didn't mean to..." he started to withdraw but Jack smile widened as he took a grip on his waist and pulled him closer pressing their groins together. That made Ianto growl and stop talking.

"Good morning to you too" said Jack with his smooth voice "it's nice to see you too. You're a lovely sight in the morning." Ianto blushed at that and Jack laughed lustfully letting his whole body shake. Ianto trembled under his palms. "As far as I can see, I would say, Mister Jones, that you're glad to see me too." Jack looked down to their joined bellies.

"Well..." Ianto slightly muttered "it's just like you to be so smug."

"Didn't we decide that was a good thing" Jack asked innocently and at that Ianto smiled.

"A very good thing, Jack" his eyes went soft.

"Don't you know how it affects me when you say my name like that" Jack said with his voice low and started to move his hand down Ianto's back. Ianto tensed under his palm.

"Oh don't worry I won't do much, just get us free of this morning distraction, so we can get to work. That is, if you allow me." Jack stopped his hand on the small of Ianto's back waiting for permission.

"As you wish sir" Ianto answered with husky voice.

"Sirs aren't any better" Jack growled. "Why do you look so good in the morning?"

"It's the crumpled suit" Ianto deadpanned "completed with ruffled hair."

"I love that, maybe you should let it grow out longer" Jack mused and put the hand on which Ianto lay in his hair making it messier.

"I rather die" Ianto was horrified "it looks horrible."

"I wouldn't agree" Jack said lightly causing creases on Ianto's forehead so he moved his hand over his backside causing him lose focus and continued talking. "I can't imagine anything horrible on you, and it would probably take just a bit more trouble, not dying."

With those words he moved his hand between them brushing their confined cocks with his fingers. Ianto sighed and relaxed.

"Now we'll just get this distraction out of our way. Don't be alarmed, I'm quite good at this." Jack smiled reassuringly and moved towards Ianto's belt.

"I'm sure..." Ianto started but was cut off because Jack had already reached his pulsing skin. Jack paused waiting for him to adjust to his touch and decide if he wanted to go further or not. Ianto closed his eyes and moved his head to Jack's shoulder. Jack took that as a yes so he freed them from excessive clothes around their groins, lifting their shirts and exposing abdomens. Ianto moved his hand down but Jack stopped him.

"No, just relax" he said softly and brought their abdomens together joining exposed skin together. Ianto sighed with relief and Jack felt that way too, it was simply soothing just to touch someone, even better to be connected to Ianto who was alive and well, breathing.

Jack moved his hand again and took their cocks together in his palm. They fit well together. As he moved his hand stroking them Ianto moaned in his shoulder. Jack held his fingers intertwined in his hair. Ianto held himself firmly against Jack without struggle, he just gave in. Soon Jack felt under his fingers how his climax was near and he let himself join Ianto in the end. Ianto shuddered as he came, and Jack finally went off too, he could have gone off last night in the moment when he first touched Ianto. For him this wasn't the end of some dry spell, but the end of torment and lasting pain that were joined with the complete lack of any touch. That's why Jack remained silent and still during the whole evening, and this morning greeting, to keep himself in control, because if he let himself moan he wasn't sure it wouldn't end up in tears, or worse, screaming.

This way he felt immense relief as he released the orgasm he was denied too long. He took a deep breath breathing in scents and aromas, it was beautiful. For a moment there was silence and they were still. Jack closed his eyes now, understanding why he had fallen asleep last night, he felt safe here, with Ianto beside him.

Then Ianto moved and the moment was over.

"Um, well I better go and shower, we don't want to be late, they will skin you alive as it is" he moved away lifting his pants and letting his shirt fall over his wet abdomen. Jack rose his eyebrows looking at him critically "It's ruined anyway" Ianto argued with a silent Jack "it needs to be cleaned."

"Dry cleaning will have field day with it" Jack smiled not making a move to cover himself. Ianto blushed.

"This one can be washed" he said absently as his eyes fled towards Jack's exposed skin. For a brief moment Jack worried that he hadn't healed, that somehow Ianto could see all the wounds that hadn't left any scars. "Yours on the other hand can't, so be careful" he finally said and took a box of tissues off the stand and threw it at Jack. "Wipe yourself" he commanded and turned towards the bathroom with all his dignity. Jack didn't laugh at his back, he just enjoyed the view. He did miss Ianto.

Jack complied after the bathroom doors were closed. As he cleaned himself he wondered what Ianto would have said about his ruined shirt that he threw in the trash bin after the Master experience. He would most definitely want to set him straight. Jack chuckled at that mental image. In his mind it was a fun incident because it could never happen. Ianto would surely give him his piece of mind complete with few eye-rolls and ironic lines.

* * *

><p><em>This one was a present from me to you for my birthday, I usually hate it, but today is such a great day and I'm looking forward to my thirties :)<em>


	119. Unplugged line

_A/N: here we go again after a short break. Here is Ianto pondering in the bathroom._

_No spoilers  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>Ianto stood under the shower and let the hot water run down his body. He felt fine. He hadn't felt fine in ages; he forgot just how good it feels. He felt no aching or pain, there was no discomfort or anxiety; it was all washed away from him. And Jack did all that. Ianto smiled at the blue tiles thinking just how little was required for him to get to this pain free state. Sure it took months, but in the end all that was needed was a warm body to sleep by; to be precise Jack's warm body beside him. It was silly really, he chuckled at himself, to feel this way just because they had fallen asleep from exhaustion; but as he did with pain and hurt he embraced this feeling as well. He decided he wouldn't deny himself this feeling just because it was a bit embarrassing just how much he enjoyed kissing Jack Harkness, and how welcomed was his face when he opened his eyes. Jack really did make the morning good one.<p>

Ianto turned around and leaned against the wall thinking he wouldn't mind being awarded with the sight of Jack at the bathroom doors. Speaking of that, he was lingering too long in here. Jack hadn't interrupted him. In fact Jack had been careful all evening and morning, making sure he didn't cross any of Ianto's lines, you could say he acted almost insecure. Ianto smiled at that notion and dried himself recklessly putting a towel around his waist. Ianto opened up the door and was greeted with silence. Jack was nowhere in sight. Ianto felt disappointed by that. Sleeping over was just an accident. He approached the kitchen to make some coffee and noticed little white scrap of paper on the counter.

"Dinner, tonight, at 20PM, I'll pick you up" it said with Jack's handwriting and Ianto smiled again feeling light. Ok, so he was the girl in this scenario, let see how that goes. He wasn't bothered by that position, Jack was older... much older, and the boss... at least at work. Ianto wasn't going to linger on just how much older he was, he looked good as hell, and was more than attractive. In the past three months while he was gone, Ianto learned that he cared about him more than just a bit. He cared a lot, and that was ok, Ianto was that kind of person, he just didn't know how to love less. Luckily Jack was there to even him out, to keep things lighter, and fun. Ianto liked fun; he was almost casual when fun was at hand.

Ianto focused on his clothing. Yesterday there was a light pink shirt, and he was quite fond of that shirt, but today he could go with purple, it looked dashing but serious, a bit detached. Ianto laughed at that thought, he was all but detached right now. He didn't even care that rest of them would notice his mood; hiding seemed like such a waste of energy, he'd done enough of that.

As he exited his apartment he thought about his and Jack's fling, it went in wrong order. Full hard sex was first, all play and hardness, or was it first betrayal, deceit and cheating? After that came thoughtfulness, then abandonment, just to be replaced by kissing, some almost modest making out, and fully clothed sleeping. And now they are about to go on their first date. If he wasn't careful they'd end up introducing themselves, but maybe that wasn't a bad idea. They never really just talked; last night was a glimpse of what that talking might look like. Ianto liked it; he would like to be able to express himself, to just say what's on his mind, which would be a welcomed change. He decided he would do just that. He'd just stick with what he decided yesterday that he wouldn't have any kind of fling with Jack if it meant he'd have to stand aside and pretend everything was alright while he quite obviously hurt. Jack might be fun and taste great, but Ianto just wasn't the kind of person that could overlook his deeper emotions that were always on the verge of pain.

Ianto tidied up tourist office area aware that they had just rushed out moments ago competing with a bomb. It was a convenient side effect of time paradox, Hub wasn't abandoned over night, and everyone got good night sleep.

"Oi Tea boy, finally! Were your dreams great, cause mine weren't" Owen scowled at him. "Turning off your phone was such a great idea; I wish I thought of it." He rubbed his neck and Ianto was battled for a moment.

"Wasn't it the point? Going home to get some sleep?" Ianto rolled his eyes and decided to ignore him.

"That is just wishful thinking" grumbled Owen "anyway I'm done with him, you can move him down to the morgue."

"Who?" Ianto was disconcerted.

"Wish you didn't unplug your land line, huh?" Owen grinned. "Make my coffee extra strong." He rushed out."

"Oh, sweetie" Gwen patted him on the shoulder. "You were the lucky one tonight, pleasant dreams, I hope?"

"Why do people even own a land line these days" Tosh mumbled under her breath "it's not like we're in a time paradox every day, I wouldn't remember to use it. When my phone rang I jumped in the air thinking it was the burglars' alarm. Tell me Ianto did you unplug it from your wall or just unhooked the headpiece, does it still makes that annoying sound, cause I can't sleep with it."

Ianto opened up his mouth but nothing came out, what should he say? His phone didn't ring at all last night, and it was regularly in use because Rhiannon preferred to stay behind technology and take her time to adjust.

"We should have tried the mobile" Gwen smiled "just to see which Ianto would pick up."

"And just how would you tell the difference?" Tosh was thoughtful.

"Or we could have just stopped by and fetched him, an extra pair of hands would have been helpful" Gwen mused further and Ianto felt burning in his cheeks.

"I'll take you all had an eventful night" Ianto finally decided to cut through "I take it that Jack was unreachable?"

"Why in the hell would we willingly go out after day like yesterday to fight an alien that would have passed unnoticed if left alone?" Gwen said with her sweet voice "Of course that it took our beloved leader that was missing to take us out," her voice was full of sarcasm "he dragged us out from beds without a second of explanation and threw us at that thing. You were in luck, he hadn't had time to go and fetch you."

Ianto frowned; he wasn't in the shower that long and he could have easily fetched him anytime.

"Then you were awfully quick in overpowering him." He said turning towards coffee machine.

"Maybe but it felt like hours;" Gwen sighed "all that dragging through the mud and hanging from a tree."

"You all are clean" Ianto turned towards them "did Jack get the mud part?" he smiled hoping he would understand soon.

"No" Gwen laughed "lucky bastard went unscratched like he knew every move the alien would take, I was the muddy one, I've cleaned up. Oh look at the time, its morning already, I'll be right back." She rushed out. Ianto tried to make sense of it.

"Don't beat yourself about it" Tosh spoke up "its additional day anyway, Jack got to use us twice at the same time, and nobody can pay that. He sure can't make it like you skipped day."

"Rise and shine" Jack appeared at that moment. "You look stunning." He grinned widely all fresh and new and Ianto finally got it and as it all fell together he felt anger rising up.

* * *

><p><em>So, any thoughts on this one?<em>


	120. Jelly mush

_A/N: some more Ianto and don't strangle me, it will all make more sense in next ch._

_No spoilers  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>"Really Harkness, that's your method of reprimanding him?" Owen smirked passing down to the kitchen. "Oi, Tea Boy why are you so slow this morning, not even the coffee is done, and that alien still stinks from medical bay. I bet you had company last night, no one disconnects his phone just to sleep."<p>

Ianto flushed and turned around to pour him some coffee.

"See boss, maybe now you'll be willing to come up with some unpleasant chore for him to make up it to us." He continued sweetly.

"Owen stop it, you're just jealous" Tosh grunted with a smile "because it wasn't you we couldn't reach."

"Yeah" Jack joined in with a cocky grin "and whatever it was, beauty sleep worked. Is that suit new?" Ianto clenched his jaw as Jack appreciatively took in his appearance.

"Of course it is" Owen smiled sardonically "Our beloved Tea Boy spends all his income on suits. I have standing bet with Tosh that he does it for pick up tactics, she doesn't believe me but I've seen him in action and his innocent act does pay out." Jack gave him a dark glare that made Owen smile even wider; Ianto decided that the alien in sick bay deserved his attention.

"Owen!" He heard how Tosh cried out behind him. "Enough of that, you promised me test results on our friend down there."

Ianto descended towards the autopsy table and just stood there for a moment. He couldn't make out what he was seeing. The creature was dark blue, and it was twice the size of the table so it poured over the sides, dangling down towards the floor, it had six extremities that invoked something more sea creature like than land animal. Jack leaned on the rail but Ianto didn't lift his gaze.

"How would that go unnoticed" he murmured to himself.

"Well it has a pretty good chameleon quality, it moves along walls mimicking its background." Jack spoke up loudly like he had an audience.

"To do what? Kill from behind, that can't be inconspicuous." Ianto deadpanned.

"No, it doesn't kill, it just brushes people while passing by taking their energy, like small electric charges, most people don't even feel the loss." Jack voice was calm; there was no flirt in it left.

"Why in hell did you have to take it out then?" He couldn't help himself but to grumble.

"It wasn't ready to go in peacefully" Jack straighten himself up and crossed his arms over his chest, chin raised up. That pose told Ianto so much; amongst other things it told him that this wasn't negotiable. That's why he just nodded and started to prepare a gurney.

"How in earth will I put it in one drawer?" He felt unwilling to touch the body. He'd seen a lot of strange things, but this just seemed wrong in some way.

"You can fold it" Jack shrugged his shoulders "it's pretty flat, or it can be, its width is very flexible, unlike length and height these are standard for these creatures."

"Why this one isn't flat?" Ianto's voice was low.

"Always to the point" Jack shook his head. "Because of its last consumption, it didn't have a chance to be dissolved; I saw it swallow a male and female on a bench. That's why others won't come near; they just assume you aren't bother by these kinds of things."

"Aren't I?" Ianto still didn't come any closer. "But you said it doesn't kill."

"No it doesn't" Jack answered firmly but didn't continue. Ianto raised his eyebrow with a question, but there was no reply so Ianto pressed his lips together accepting the distance between them and turned towards alien and his victims.

"Why are you angry Ianto?" Jack spoke quietly and Ianto discovered that he was satisfied that Jack saw it in him.

"How long since you've last seen me, Jack?" He replied with a question.

"Oh, you've cracked it, I thought I'd have to walk you through it" Jack started to ramble.

"I've paid attention, time loops and all, how long were you away?"Ianto interrupted him not lifting his gaze.

"How do you know? It could have been just one night" Jack played innocent and Ianto just threw a look at him. "Ok, three, maybe four. Why does it matter?"

"Knowing you it could have been years, but you probably would have changed your shirt, but why bother" Ianto finished with sharp end.

"Ok, but why are you mad?" Jack was disconcerted.

"Sorry sir" Ianto pulled up his polite smile. "I have some folding to do." He put on a pair of gloves; he wasn't ready to touch the creature with his hands.

Ianto touched the indigo skin that felt like rubber under his fingers and winced. It was like a little electro shock. He started to fold and really it did comply under his hands and soon he had round roll of alien tissue.

"How is that possible with two bodies inside it?" Ianto was baffled.

"Jelly mush" Owen exclaimed rushing towards them. "It turns human flesh in jelly, bones, organs, everything, tests came through; it's extraordinary."

"That's not a word I would use" Ianto smirked as he moved the rolled alien to the gurney.

"Well the compound that does it is extraordinary" Owen didn't lose his pace as he switched the pictures on the screen. "It's not what you would call poison, or even a digestive enzyme, it turns tissues into a jelly that is different from the alien's organs and skin, he can't consume it, it's a foreign body, so it turns it into jelly that is then slowly excreted through the skin like a poison would be. If they were poisonous to the alien why would it consume them?"

Ianto looked at his hands feeling sick. He peeled off the gloves and threw them in the trash.

"It didn't, they fell on it" Jack informed them seriously "talking about bad luck, instead of steamy sex on the grass, they poisoned an alien and ended up like mucus." He shook his head.

"And you just happened to be there and see it happen?" Ianto deadpanned.

"Lucky me" Jack raised his eyebrows sighing.

"I don't understand" Owen looked at the pictures of molecules and cells. "If it was poisoned why did it act all crazy and violent, spun Gwen into a mud pile, and throw Tosh in a tree, it's a bit excessive, especially for a chameleon creature as you describe it Jack."

"You pump yourself with speed, ecstasy, pure meth and some cocaine and we'll see how you behave." Jack started to gesture with his hands tilting his head. "It feeds off emotions and life energy, one touch is enough for the evening. When those two fell on it they were instantly wrapped inside of its chameleon shell to protect its invisibility, and in that moment it consumed all of their life energy and feelings, which wasn't a small portion considering their emotional state, and it made it wild. On the other hand, their bodies started to mess with its mind and as it tried to shake them out by throwing itself around to speed up the process of breaking down their bodies. As it did so it bumped into trees, animals, humans, and every touch made it more violent. It's like you have burned skin and everyone keeps touching you; it's an unpleasant feeling." He shrugged as he remembered, and Ianto thought he was remembering what burned flesh looked like.

"Well that sums it up" Owen turned off the slide projection. "You know awful a lot about the buggers Jack".

"Oh, I had previous encounters" Jack shoved his hands in his pockets walking away.

"Great, now I almost feel sorry for the moving carpet" Owen grumbled and crossing his hands over his chest.

"Ok, will you help me with moving it then?" Ianto took out new pair of gloves and put them on.

"No" Owen shook his head "I'm not too crazy about mucus."

"It must be a field trip to examine mushy aliens then" Ianto smiled and pushed the trolley, resigning to his chore.

"And it never stops" Owen replied cheerfully and ran up the stairs.

After he cleaned up all the mess Ianto went up to Jack's office with cup of coffee.

"Oh, I must be back in your good graces. I finally get my coffee." Jack took it and inhaled the scent in. "I've missed this" he said with a smile and Ianto nodded turning to go. "Won't you talk to me about it?" Jack said softly and Ianto looked over his shoulder with a frown. Jack leaned back in his chair waiting.

"Why did you go back to see John?" Ianto asked seriously.

Jack looked as he ate a lemon.

"I had to see if he was lying. I sat there as the shower ran and I just couldn't shake it from my mind, his burning red eyes as he exited, I had to go and find at least one tell-tale sign that he was lying. So I hid behind the wall listening you count, watching Gwen struggle, but then I was sent back with all of you, and me, I was too close. So next time I hid behind the car, then on the next building, then opposite one."

"Until you got too far and were left behind" Ianto sighed shoving his hands in his pockets.

"No, I bumped into our friend down there so I went after him instead, I would never find a tell anyway, John has gotten so good at lying that you can never tell, I think he lies about what he ate and everything else"

"Is that how you died? You bumped into the alien and were consumed?" Ianto frowned painfully.

"No" Jack leaned forward supporting his elbows on the table "how do you know I died?"

"Your hair and skin, you look all rested and perfect, and you haven't slept in days, an hour ago you looked perfectly ruffled and sleepy." Ianto said impassively but Jack smiled.

"I did; didn't I?" he said with a grin gazing at Ianto seductively, but Ianto remained serious.

"Then how did you die?" Ianto persisted and Jack's face was hollow for a moment.

"You insist on this?" he frowned and then looked away. "In its first spree of madness after the accident, I tried to help but it grabbed me by the ankle spun around and threw me, I landed on the fence and broke my spine, I hate spine injuries, they hurt." Ianto looked like he was in pain.

"The others hadn't seen it, they said you were intact." Ianto didn't give up.

"I woke up and followed it, trying to handle it, but I couldn't alone, so I went back one more time to the explosion and was sent back. I collected the team and we took it down pretty quickly." He was serious now, like filing a report.

"That's how you knew its moves" Ianto lifted his shoulders and nodded looking at the floor.

"Time travel has its merits. This really bothers you, doesn't it?" Jack stood up and went around his desk. He leaned on the edge in front of Ianto folding his arms across his chest. "You're mad about the death thing, not John."

"John doesn't bother me" Ianto looked at him coldly "he's just a reminder of your past, remember? And he's just … yuck, he probably was better before, but I just can't see it."

"So it's the death thing. You know I can't die, I revive." Jack raised his eyebrows not understanding.

"You do die Jack, you just can't stay dead, and there is a difference. I hate when you go through that pain, and I will never be okay with it." Ianto's voice was deep and raw and Jack looked stunned, there was a silence for a moment. "But I understand it happens."

"Why are you angry then?" Jack looked left and right trying to understand.

"I can't be with you if I can't even take a shower without you disappearing to go time travelling and dying. I can't take it; yeah sure you came back because you bumped into a strange alien you used to know. But if you didn't, it could have continued, and then if you decided there was some truth in his words you would have just gone after John and gotten yourself locked up on some distant moon. I can't do that, and especially I can't pretend it's just fine that you've died and stand aside."

Jack's mouth formed silent o.

"Sorry" Ianto dragged out his weak smile and took a deep breath "I'm bothering you, it's just not important."

"No" Jack jumped up "you're right, anything could happen, I should have said something, or added something in the note, I'm just not used to reporting in." He looked sincere and Ianto was surprised.

"Well it always been a pain to get you to file reports, but I do have to keep the archives tidy" Ianto smiled widely and Jack laughed.

"I can't believe you two!" Gwen exclaimed. "Early morning, two days from returning and you're already discussing reports and archives; really Ianto honey, I love you, but you have to keep down on filing and get out more, you're pale as a ghost."

"Oh, don't worry" Ianto turned towards her with genuine smile "I have a date tonight, that is, if my boss doesn't make it a late night in the Hub."

"No worries there, I won't let him keep you here just because you were smart enough to disconnect your phone, I wish I had." She laughed. "Tosh managed to identify victims; you could get on those cover stories. Jack I need a word about last night."

* * *

><p><em>Next chapter will be up tomorrow. Jack will walk us through it.<em>


	121. Sleep fairies

_A/N: off to Jack's night's_

_No spoilers  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>"Which last night?" asked Jack and Gwen laughed.<p>

"Fair question" she said and tilted her head with discomfort "last, last night, about that alien-thing, how did you know everything about it?" She looked at him innocently but he knew to recognize her detective pose, that question would lead to the next one until they found themselves back to his past, to questions she wanted to ask because she thought answers would give her some perspective and security. Jack knew that answers would give her anything but that so he smiled a bit sharply.

"That is not the question; the question is how could you charge at it without any information? You could have ended up like those two and we would have to write your cover story because I wouldn't be able to get you out."

"I was just trying..." Gwen tried but was cut off.

"I know what you were trying and next time, don't. You're lucky that it managed to defend itself and shoved you in that mud by its tentacle." He crossed his arms across his chest and looked away.

"You keep saying it defended itself, what did you want us to do, feed it some more people?" She was upset.

"It did defend itself" Jack sighed and got back behind his desk "Our goal was to help it calm itself and recover in peace, we failed and I had to do... what I did." He took his report to go through it one more time.

"About that, what did you do?" She leaned against his desk. "And why do you keep referring to him as 'it'."

"Because it is an 'it', maybe the only true 'it' in the world." He didn't lift his gaze. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have some filling to do."

"You're the boss" she exclaimed and went to the door.

"And Gwen" he said seriously "this is a chance to realise how ignorant we all are."

"Maybe it would be if you would talk to us and explain this creature, I see no reason to feel for a creature that lurks in the dark and lives off others, and eats people." There was conviction in her face, right and wrong, good and evil.

"It does not... you're dismissed for now." He went back to his report but letters flew past his eyes.

He lied to Ianto, to his face, it was an instinct reaction. Ianto was too quick in understanding.

_You bumped into him and were consumed, _he said and was right to the letter. This night was all his fault, no one else's. Damn him and his obsession with Gray. John knew just what string to pull. Jack said to himself he wouldn't fall for it and he was doing fine until he was left on his own. Ianto was in the shower, he heard the water running and it was a soothing sound, he could get up and go in. He was on the verge of doing just that when his gaze fell on the watch. There was just an hour and a half until their double time was up and they could resume their lives where the blast had interrupted it; the blast that sent them back to the time when the vortex was opened.

Now John was still walking through the town thinking he'd won, thinking he'd open up the map to mythical treasure and be saved forever. Like he knew what forever was. There was no temptation in thought he could go and interrupt that whole plot, everything did work out fine, and he had enough of time paradoxes for a dozen lifetimes.

But there was another temptation. Temptation to go and see John before the explosion, before he and Owen drove in, maybe he'd said something that would tell Jack he was lying or not, something that would say someone that was about to die. There were many places he could hide and not be seen, to not disrupt the timeline. It's not like he hadn't walked same time frame more than once before. Yes, he'd just take quick peek and be done with it, with John and with Gray who had been eluding him for centuries.

That's why he jumped in the car and drove like a maniac to get there in time and hid himself before the others came. He hid himself behind the elevator exit. There was no chance he'd be seen there, and he'd hear everything.

They drove in and he crouched behind the wall not looking, just listening. He heard voices. Ianto's countdown wasn't cheerful anymore, there was true panic, Gwen was all heroic like she was known to be, and John was just disappointing. Nothing was heard, just whining like Ianto said, nothing attractive, no last statements or confessions. Gwen wanted to say something but then he and Owen charged in and interrupted her. That part he knew. Of course there was nothing more for him. He sat on the floor and waited to be left alone, but then there was dark and they were still behind him. He was sent along with them, he had been too close to the explosion. They continued to talk and John exited with his last punch line. Jack was no closer to revealing what was truth or just another trap.

"We'll have to avoid ourselves" past Jack repeated and then they were gone, off to their homes and past Jack to pleasant night with Ianto by his side.

`This was stupid` thought Jack and went in a third direction to find a bar just to sit in it and watch life go on. He did just that but then it was morning and he thought that maybe he should watch, maybe John's body language would tell him something more. So he went back and came in before last Jack and ducked behind the car to be sure he wouldn't be blasted back one more time and that he would be able to see John's face and be unseen in the dark. His plan worked, except there was nothing to be seen, just John's poker face and he was blasted back again.

`Ok, that was enough` was his thought as he waited to his first self to go and then the next one. This time he looked at his watch to be sure when everyone entered and exited. He couldn't do this again; he was approaching a new record of parallel Jacks in one spot in time. He never before stood so close to himself. It was irresponsible, but he was careful, and he wouldn't trigger a paradox, not for his life. That's why he didn't look left or right, to avoid his future being seen. Knowing himself he could go back one more time. He went on the street parallel as the Jack before this went into the bar. He sat there not looking left or right and in the morning he went to the building next to the one with the blast. That's how he'd be left behind and be freed from examining John further. But once again he was blasted back.

He decided to stay on that roof and just stare at the city. Falling from the building top seemed like distant memory. It would be best for everyone if he took a stroll away from this place and stay distant in the morning. He ended up in the park alone in the middle of the night. There were a few couples on the benches, a night stroller with a dog on a leash, and drunken guy sleeping on another bench. Jack felt his alertness fade away bit by bit and he started to feel drowsy, thinking of doing just as the drunken guy did, to seep it off waiting for the morning, but then something started to feel off. He never got sleepy, not lately; he slept only after a long and exhausting string of deaths, or if he wanted it.

That put him back on alert and in a cautious state. That's when he noticed the next drain of energy when it came along; he was leaking life energy through his leg, then arm, then neck. It was almost like something was touching him. He closed his eyes and waited for the next touch, when he felt it on his hip he was ready and surged back grabbing blindly at a tentacle of an unknown creature. It struggled but he pulled it near out from the dark and as it appeared it started to feel familiar, like something almost forgotten. But there was no time to think because other tentacles were on him sucking his energy trying to knock him unconscious. Of course that didn't work on him so he was able to get his grip on the creature, reaching for his gun. But then the creature became aware of his intent and his immunity to its energy sucking tactics so it did the only thing it could do, it threw itself on Jack and covered him into its shell. Jack died instantly when he encountered those fascinating enzymes.

When he was awake he was inside of the creature, his ability to revive was struggling with its surroundings, it stung and hurt like hell and Jack couldn't breathe or shout so he blindly started to struggle, digging his way out with his hands. Everything was slippery but he finally managed to scratch at something and soon he found his way out of the creature. As he fell down on the grass the creature started to fall on him so he grabbed it for its tentacle and swung it in the air. He got up to see where it landed to go after it but then the creature fell on the couple on the bench covering them. Jack ran over to save them but it was already too late, they were dead, and the creature was wild.

He tried to get a hold of it once again but it was quicker and it flung him away. He flew a yard away and landed on the fence breaking his spine. That happened, he didn't lie to Ianto, but it was the second death that night, then he was suffocated by the tentacles, then it bumped into him while it threw itself blindly left and right and finally it just knocked him unconscious by its chemicals. When he woke up it was laid spread out on the grass and Jack hesitated in touching it, it looked like it was in pain. He was tired of fighting with an unknown creature so he scanned it with his wrist strap to discover what it was composed of and what species of aliens was it, but to his surprise it was terrestrial, it wasn't alien at all. He frowned as that forgotten knowledge pierced through. He just encountered one of the old species of the Earth, the one that would soon be exterminated when its nature would be exposed. When they were exposed their defences were useless, they depend on invisibility, when that is taken from them they are just sitting ducks. They were so easy to kill, and Jack could do just that in that moment, it was already visible, but he couldn't bring himself to do it.

The species was called Gollum after its extinction; the name was used to justify their demise. The intention was to exaggerate the threat that the creatures imposed, but the fact was that humans never slept very well after they were gone. True, they had fed of emotions and energy but in return they would put bodies into a sleepy state triggering rest, without those creatures sleeping pills took over the human race.

`If they only looked more human` Jack thought `they would be named sleep fairies and be left alone, this way they seemed like something from out of nightmares.`

Later studies of conserved creatures exposed that they weren't able to eat people, that they didn't eat at all and accidental consumption would be poisonous to the creature, it could cleanse itself only of so much biological trash. They had no orifices that would allow them to receive or give, to eat, drink or have sex; there was only touch that was unnoticeable, and falling into its shell that was irreparable. But that falling in could happen only in violent situations when it was attacked, like Jack attacked it.

Jack looked at the twitching creature and was amazed that he was able to see one of them alive. It was like seeing the dinosaurs. Dinosaurs were amazing, until it had struggle for survival. He looked around deciding it was in an obscure and cloaked place, it would be able to recover if it could, or die in peace if it couldn't. That's why he left it there and headed away from it, but then he heard a woman laughing.

"This will be perfect" she said and he turned around to see her head disappearing in the bush. That was the last thing she said.

* * *

><p><em>Some reviews would be nice. Thnx for reading.<em>


	122. Pressing points

_A/N: End of parallel Jack's, and some tossing around._

_No spoilers  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>It was the last thing this Jack would hear he decided, and ran away from the scene to give his future self space to do something about it. For the couple on the bench he couldn't do anything because he saw them die, but this was just a sound.<p>

He would need backup this time. To be sure he'd get back once again he went to the roof and hid himself under the car not moving, not listening, he didn't want to participate in that event anymore, he just wanted to get on with his life. When first three Jack's were gone he crouched down and ran towards the elevator making sure he wasn't visible from the next building roof where his other self was standing. As he descended down he started to call the home numbers of his team. Mobiles were off limits because there was more than one mobile per person that night. He was in luck and they were easy to persuade to go out on a chase with him.

He was still their boss and they came to the requested place.

"Tea boy's having a problem getting out of bed." Owen snorted.

"He was unavailable" Jack said shortly. "Owen you're injured so you won't go near this creature, it tosses people around. We need to save a young couple from this creature, and later on to calm it down and find a place for it to recover. The Hub could be suitable for that if it doesn't slip through the SUV floor. Tosh I need you to come up with something that will keep it in. I know there is no equipment, we're banned from the Hub, and you have only" Jack looked at his watch "three hours. I'm sending you its composition; can you do anything about it?"

"I'm on it" she said absently already taken by new string of info. "I could reinforce the bottom, or put an extra vibration to its shell..."

"Gwen, your mission will be to grab the girl after she says `This will be perfect` and hold her for two... no make it three minutes before releasing her. I'll take the guy. You can expect a struggle; they won't think anything good of us. Owen you need to be ready with syringe full of adrenalin in case of need, and some reanimation equipment, dopamine..."

"Sorry" Owen cut in "we're doing what again?"

"Catching an alien that can walk through walls" Tosh answered him absently "this is truly amazing, it's so strange, simple, but still familiar, like our structure but turned upside down. I've never seen an alien quite like this one..." her voice faded away.

"Yeah, yeah, great" Owen tried again "but why don't we just kill it and be done with it?"

"Great doctor you are" Gwen was appalled "just shoot them. Sometimes we need to communicate and help others."

"You can't communicate with this one." Jack said shaking his head. "Or help it... much... when it recovers it will be gone despite Tosh's efforts."

"Gone where Jack?" Gwen started to look disconcerted. "And why do we have to wait three hours? What does it look like?"

"Two hours and fifty minutes" Jack informed her "It's a dark blue creature without eyes, mouths or ears, it has six tentacles, and it's a chameleon that hides in the dark. It will go by its way, it doesn't concern us." He said firmly looking her straight in the eyes.

"I hate when you say that" Gwen started to look around turning her back towards Jack. "What does it do exactly, in the dark?" Her voice became cautious and Jack was sorry he had to disclose anything to them.

"Nothing harmful" Jack answered sincerely.

"Yet we need to save two people from it" Owen spoke up cheerfully "and have syringes and electric shock devices at hand. Nice one, I just love my job, don't you Gwen?" He crouched down to pack his gear.

"I would like to have something to do in mean time." Gwen said quietly and Jack decided to say no more. He could stop their extinction, it was a fixed point in space and time; just like him, not quite like him, he was a fact that opposed the nature of the Universe, this was a point that supported time's habit of changing and moving on. But he wouldn't be the cause of their departure; he wouldn't be the one to expose them.

With that in mind he put the team in position taking care that they didn't see the other him departing. Luckily, for them it was just a shadow of a man walking away.

"Which couple?" Gwen whispered.

"Maybe that one" Owen answered pointing at couple running towards them.

"Be careful not to step on it" Jack pointed at the unmoving Gollum and they all flinched.

The couple ran towards them and they ducked out of sight.

"This will be perfect" said the girl grabbing the boy by the collar dragging him down. Jack jumped in and pulled them away gagging the boy's mouth. Gwen had difficulties with the girl as she struggled; the boy was still in Jack's arms. Jack watch as the other him turned around the corner.

"This is our spot children" he whispered "I suggest you run home; the next ones you interrupt won't be so forgiving." The boy nodded and the girl finally went calm. "Now we'll release you, if you don't want to get hurt be quiet as you can.

When they were released there was a short pause before they started to run away.

"You could have done something" they heard the girl say. Jack went to the bench to see if the other couple left something behind, something to recognize them by.

"Now let's do this, Tosh take centre, Owen bring the gurney" Gwen started to boss around.

"No!" Jack shouted and ran back.

"Don't worry Jack, we got this" Gwen said grabbing one tentacle "we've dealt with things without you, you know."

"Gwen, let go" Jack's voice was urgent, but he was too far.

"This thing is so easy" Tosh said with wonder "but it's so cold."

"Let it go" Jack finally grabbed a hold of Gwen but there were no strength in her arm any more.

"I can't Jack" she said drowsily "it's so strong."

"Fight it damn it" he yelled in her ear and she woke up starting to struggle.

"Jack!" Tosh cried out as a tentacle lifted her up in the air, he jumped to catch her but she was tossed up with ease ending up in treetop. She got hold of a branch. "Don't worry, I'm okay." She shouted and Jack turned towards Gwen. She was pushing the tentacles, leaning dangerously close to the creature.

"Back away Gwen" Jack ordered firmly with a calm voice.

"But..." Gwen froze confused.

"Now Gwen, you don't want to win this" he said and she loosened up her grip and at the same moment she was tossed two yards away ending up in the mud.

Now that it had another shot of energy the creature lifted itself up and grabbed on the tree to get out of sight, to hide, but it grabbed the tree Tosh has hanging off of.

"Jack" Tosh's voice was filled with panic.

Gwen was running towards them.

"What the..."Owen arrived with the gurney.

The creature started to pound the trunk with its tentacles to scare off the attackers as much to ease the pain it was going through. Jack just couldn't see another way, if he hesitated situation would escalate and somebody would get hurt. Tosh had nearly fallen from the tree. So he reached forward and pressed the back of the creature with his fingers. There were two points, not holes, but pressure points, small dents in the skin of the creature, almost invisible. They didn't let air through, but something had to be exchanged through those points, something crucial for that creature. People never bothered to find out what before they used it so many times. Jack was horrified at himself as the creature waved its tentacles in its last moments, he felt the life under his fingers and how it faded away. Soon it slumped down lifeless.

"For God sake Jack" Gwen panted all tired from her short run, she was exhausted from the creature "that thing was so strong, how did you do that?"

"Come on Tosh, it's not that high, I'll catch you" Owen persuaded Tosh.

"No, you're injured, let Jack catch me." She didn't give in.

"Anything for the lady in distress" he said trying to lift up his easy persona.

He caught her easily.

"Is it dead?" Gwen asked Owen leaning over his shoulder.

"How should I know, it doesn't exactly have a neck to check for a heartbeat." He snapped.

"It's dead" Jack put Tosh down on the grass. "Get an empty syringe and take two samples, one from each lump, there should be still some traces of DNA. In a few hours there will be nothing to scan, process will be on its way, it's a chemical reaction, nothing digestive about it."

"What samples? Who's DNA Jack?" Gwen inquired.

"Two young people, girl and a boy, similar to those which we saved" Gwen stepped away and Owen cursed. There would be no pardon for those creatures. Jack didn't like to call them by their post-mortem name, maybe he could give them another one, he could ask Ianto for one, he could be innovative in that way; maybe he would understand the misunderstanding that was inevitable.

Ianto, soon it would be morning and he'd see Ianto's face and be done with this crazy running around after John, Gray, extinct creatures, and sudden deaths, he'd finally get some warmth and touch, skin and desire. He had enough of the dark and the cold.

* * *

><p><em>After this we need to find some Ianto-time. I found this to be quite distressing chapter.<em>


	123. Disappearing act

_A/N: Ianto get asked to do something and Jack gets to speed with things._

_No spoilers  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>In the Hub, after they managed to pick up the dead creature, all was quiet. The creature was abandoned in the medical bay waiting for Ianto to take care of it. Jack considered doing it himself, but he felt it would be better for Ianto to do it; he didn't want to risk reviving it, after all it did feed on life, he didn't want to disturb its sleep, there was no future for it anyway. Finally he turned his back to it like the others did and went to his office. There was something primal in turning your back to it, even Jack, who didn't grow up with them around, felt it.<p>

After awhile voices could be heard and Jack stood there for a moment enjoying Ianto's deep vowels. He had such a soothing voice; there was something even and calming in it. They threw half truths at him to get him off balance not knowing that their timeline was enough to get someone confused. He tried to make sense of it, but in an inconspicuous way, trying to sort things out, not giving in to his confusion. Jack decided it was enough badgering and that it was time to see that beautiful face and chase away dark thoughts.

"Rise and shine" he greeted him with delight but then stopped, taking in the sight "you look stunning" he said truthfully. He looked more than good, covered in his perfectly pressed suit that hugged him in the right way showing his figure. The dark gray suit fit him perfectly, but that new purple shirt made the difference. The deep rich colour made his eyes look bright blue and Jack wanted to unwrap him then and there.

Then Owen came back with his snide remarks but Jack didn't pay attention to him. He tried to figure out what exactly made Ianto so handsome in his suit.

"Is that suit new?" he tried to get some data on the suit, maybe it was its fault that Ianto looked so good from every angle.

"I've seen him in action" Owen's voice caught Jack's attention when he started to talk about Ianto's suits "and his innocent act does pay out." Jack stared at Owen trying to make him go away and mind his own business. Ianto doesn't act, except when he does... That thought made him go after Ianto, he'd been acting oddly, but Jack was just too distracted by his looks to notice. He leaned on the rail watching Ianto murmur to himself, unwilling to move towards the creature. Even he was offended by its nature. Jack offered a few insights on the creature and Ianto wasn't happy with him for killing it, then he whined about the practical side of storing the creature. He accepted the fact that there were people in it calmly not jumping to judgment.

"They just assume you're not bothered by these kind of things" Jack said watching him closely searching for a crack in his role of the perfect employee.

"Aren't I?" he said quietly and there was a hint of sadness in those words like he wasn't sure of himself anymore. "But you said it doesn't kill" he returned to Jack's words, that boy did listen, he tried to understand.

"No it doesn't" Jack offered him a chance to work out the solution, to get that it was an accident, one Jack was at fault for. Ianto raised his eyebrow refusing to participate, that one eyebrow could say so much, like now, that he's not worthy his time. He pressed his lips together sealing his judgment of Jack and turned away from him.

"Why are you angry Ianto" Jack was now sure what was off with his behaviour, Jack managed to do something that offended him.

"How long since you've last seen me, Jack?" he spoke up without turning back. Jack was surprised just how quick he was in connecting the dots.

"I've paid attention" he said and Jack couldn't agree more, he really did. Jack tried to dodge his questions with counter questions but Ianto just looked at him with that look that said: `come on, please, I'm not stupid`. That stopped him before he went too far, running away with vague answers; it was the same look he gave him that first night after they'd overpowered a Weevil. Maybe it was that look that made Jack fight him and try to shake him off. It said 'you can't fool me', and he really couldn't, so he told him that there were four nights.

"Why does it matter?" Jack tried to get through once again but he was just faced with another wall.

"But why bother" there was bitterness in Ianto's voice.

There was no going passed that, not in this moment with everyone around. Jack was denied his most prized tool of persuasion, his body, there was just no way to get closer to him. This way he watched Ianto fold the creature, after the first wince from the contact he handled it with care and respect making the folding process seems less demeaning. Then Owen rushed in changing the pace and Jack was caught up in his explanation of the creature.

"Great, now I'm feeling almost sorry for the moving carpet" said Owen with his famous disdain, but Jack felt better from it. So he went back to his office deciding there was enough snooping around Ianto. The smell of coffee pulled him from his focus, and soon there was Ianto in his door frame.

"Won't you talk to me about it?" Jack couldn't just let it pass; he was too tired of silent treatments and detachment.

Ianto took him at his word and Jack told him everything in a nutshell, he got the important parts out anyway. Only thing he lied about was that he hadn't been consumed by the creature, it was an instinct to lie, that just wasn't something appealing, and then he would have to confess it was all his fault.

Jack was stunned when he finally realized what was upsetting Ianto. It was the fact that he died. His deaths bothered him. This wasn't some petty argument about him seeing his past lover, but about him dying. More overwhelming was his understanding of the process he was going through, of the pain and damage.

"I can't pretend it's just fine and stand aside" he said with his deep voice sounding real, not a bit fake. Jack was washed over by that admission.

"Sorry" Ianto started to withdraw again but Jack rushed to apologize, to show he understood.

"I'm just not used to reporting in" he said and Ianto smiled turning it all into light banter not lingering on Jack's guilt.

"I do need to keep the archives tidy" he said with his seductive smile and Jack laughed, enjoying that moment just to be interrupted by Gwen. Luckily she hadn't seen Ianto's face, it looked like an ordinary conversation and Ianto's features were hard to read.

"You're pale as a ghost" she said to Ianto and he smiled with ease. Cocky bastard even mentioned their date before he went, but it was a smooth move to confirm it.

Jack was in much better mood after that, but he had to handle Gwen. That led him back to his dark thoughts. After he sorted things out he decided to ask Ianto to help him get rid of the creature and all records of him. If they did it right the others wouldn't even notice it was gone. They surely wouldn't be to drawn to its whereabouts and Ianto had a way of making things disappear.

"We need to make our folded friend disappear" Jack told Ianto closing the office door behind him.

"Disappear? Then why did you take it in?" Ianto frowned waiting for an explanation.

Jack wasn't sure he liked where this was going, sure he liked Ianto and wanted to spend time with him, but to be so bluntly honest and open wasn't really his strong suit. Ianto obviously realized he'd crossed the line of free questions.

"Ok then, where do you want it stored? Or should I take it to the crematorium?" He smiled and took out his notebook.

"Storing probably won't hurt" Jack rubbed his chin thinking about it "they will have samples anyway, but it may come handy. Shove it somewhere in the ninth sublevel in some dusty place, but more importantly I need Tosh's files and Owen's analysis to disappear."

Ianto's eyebrows shot up.

"Won't they be alarmed with it? Investigate?"

"That's why I need you, I have the means to do it without difficulty, but it needs to look like an accident. I need a cover story. Owen's samples needs to disappear too. I already took out some of his secret samples he can't complain about, so I need a different approach so it doesn't seem too obvious. My interest is that they drop this case all together."

Ianto thought about it.

"I can do something, but it will take some false breaking and entering, maybe we can pin it to a Weevil break out and some wild running around combined with Myfanwy, if I get a few shots of them around there should be no suspicion... shortage of energy while all of you are away on a hunt?" He offered with a smile and Jack jumped up.

"You're a genius."

"I do try" he shrugged humbly. "I'll need hour to prepare, then you can go out, I'm sure you can come up with some chore outside."

"No worries... and Ianto" he stopped him as he opened the door "you know this is not a chore of cleaning out the trash, it's more of mission of preservation."

"I figured that much." Ianto smiled and went out.

There were no alarms or alien activity, everything went quiet. So he got them out of the Hub to the pub.

"So you've punished Tea boy by grounding him to the Hub to clean" Owen smirked as they sat down "really Jack you should work on your punishment tactics, he's having a field day out there alone; maybe even taking a nap."

"I doubt he'll get much rest on that sofa." Jack smiled picturing that, although they hadn't slept badly on Ianto's couch, lucky for them it was big enough.

"Oh, no, there are beds in the Hub now" Gwen explained "We redecorated, and since we had to take night shifts, there was bit of a need for beds."

"More than one" Owen smirked "I think our Tea boy went a bit crazy in that decorating business; green house and all."

"Yeah, I've noticed that" Jack mused thinking about the phrase `beds spread across the Hub`. He went and made his wish come true. That could be used nicely.

"Oh, that was an excellent idea" Tosh spoke up "we didn't have to incinerate all those plants, and you benefit most of it, you are constantly in there watering and planting."

"Well, what can you do, I get to have my own chemical experiments, it feeds the improviser in me" Owen smiled "and you just like to defend it because it was under your reign."

"Your reign?" Jack was intrigued.

"I didn't do so well" Tosh said shyly and they all looked away. Jack decided not to push that topic.

"Those experiments, did they do some good?" Jack turned towards Owen.

"Well I improved the Weevil spray, but you know them, they are resistant bastards, lucky for us they aren't too smart." Owen sighed. "And we have some more of the vaccine for that multi-part creature with the moving head."

"Didn't we have that?" Jack frowned.

"We used a lot on the Tea Boy few months back, he got stuck inside of one of those. After it almost stung me too I wasn't too eager to be without that cure."

"Was he under long?" Jack felt uneasy by that perspective.

"No, I took care of it" Owen said evenly.

"Yes, after he asked you to pull his pants down" Gwen laughed.

"It was pull up, and it was a warning, and a good one because one thing he knows is that I won't mess with his pants" Owen defended himself.

"Only until you had to put a needle to his bottom" Gwen mocked him.

"We never speak of it" Owen lifted his chin and Jack laughed.

"Guys" Tosh spoke up "I don't think Ianto would appreciate this conversation. We could rather talk about our trip expenses with no results."

"We were sent on a mission by the former prime minister personally..." Gwen jumped in seriously and Jack smiled listening to her. He kept wondering two things, how exactly Ianto managed to give a warning, after infliction with the poison there was complete paralysis, and how low did Owen pull down Ianto's trousers when he stuck him with a needle, surely not low enough, maybe tonight Jack would get a chance to do that better.

* * *

><p><em>Just to say that we have breached 400th page with this one. Thnx for reading. If you are puzzled as my dear beta, I hope next chapter will give answers and we'll be done with a case of sleeping fairies.<em>


	124. Mucus

_A/N: cover-up story, and Owen lose his toy._

_No spoilers  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>Ianto tried to plan every detail with perfection. After all Tosh would examine his work trying to fix the problem. Finally he had to move and just do it, there was no time left. He powered down the energy hoping his footage would suffice. Before shooting Hub down everything was set, footage was taken and the aliens safely locked behind glass. In some way Ianto mimicked what Billis did when he breached their security. Ianto waited five minutes then he called Jack. He informed him he was ready and Jack put up wonderful show of urgency shouting at him and telling him he had twenty minutes before they arrived. Ianto smiled and finished the article he was reading before Jack stepped in with his request. When he was done he opened the cog door manually and get to position by the vaults.<p>

Ianto knew they arrived because Jack was shouting `Ianto`. It was a nice touch. Tosh got the power up in a few seconds, it was an easy task for her, then she searched for CCTV footage, there was a false image waiting for her. He heard footsteps so he leaned on the wall panting like he had ran the whole time. Owen and Jack charged in.

"They are contained" Ianto informed them and Owen ran to the vault.

"What the Hell did you do?" Owen shouted at him. "How incompetent you are?"

"Owen" Jack had a warning in his voice "but really, Ianto what the hell happened, it's a mess up there."

"Mess is understatement" Owen started again "how could you let the Scryogen and a Weevil out? I can't believe you did that!"

"Yeah a Scryogen should be kept very safe" Jack joined in "he is an all-eater, he would eat you with no prejudice."

"Well he had a good meal before I stepped in so he was pretty calm."

"Yeah, my creature, you just let it eat the whole thing before you stepped in" Owen was leaning into Ianto's face "couldn't you get there a bit sooner?"

"Um, I was a bit preoccupied with that Weevil, I'll have to change his diet, it was too lively."

"Lively, I'll say" Owen was exasperated "he destroyed my entire sample collection and smashed a few computers."

"Owen" Jack grabbed him by a shoulder "I think badgering is my job. This is unacceptable, how could this happen from out of a blue."

"Guys, there's no need for that" Tosh spoke up from the door "there was a glitch in the system, I fixed it. When Ianto tried to file the report on our tentacle friend the Hub went into shut down. The system detected that compound you studied as a chemical weapon and went into shut down letting all of our prisoners go. It's really an outdated escape plan. The old system allowed for all inmates to escape in case the emergency was activated, at the same time our new system is to keep everything locked in to protect outside world. We're lucky that Ianto was quick in restoring secondary power source or we would be flooded by Weevils and other inmates."

"And then it's just bad luck that I've lost all my samples and a body" Owen complained "but at least I have my test results."

"Sorry" Tosh smiled apologetically "the data was filed as dangerous and automatically deleted."

"What?" Owen was outraged. "I could do so much with it; it was a perfect solution for dissolving a body without traces."

"Are you listening to yourself?" Tosh asked confused and at that moment Gwen raced in with a Weevil on her hands.

"Guys some help would be appreciated; there is a flood of Weevils down there." She shoved him in the cell.

The next few minutes they collected the rest of the Weevils and Owen vented his frustration.

"Your creature?" Jack inquired when they were finished.

"It had some strange and weird charm" Owen sighed "lurking in the dark, to Gwen it's horrifying but I don't know, it's just familiar in some way."

"Lurking in the dark" Gwen laughed "that could easily describe you Owen."

"Ha, ha, Gwen" Owen was not amused.

"Scryogen was a nice touch" Jack said quietly to Ianto "he would eat anything, the footage was great. But you could have crumpled your suit just a bit to seem more believable that you struggled."

"Well, that would be unbelievable, my suit almost never gets crumpled" Ianto deadpanned.

"I can fix that" Jack smiled. "But there were a lot of Weevils outside the vaults."

"It would be a bit to convenient if only two of them escaped and only found Owen's samples." Ianto rolled his eyes.

"Ianto honey" Gwen spoke up "did I mention that part of your archives on sixth sublevel got trashed."

Ianto cursed under his breath and ran down there, Jack's laugh followed him. Clean up took a few hours but he managed to restore everything. This cover up operation was costly.

"Oi, Tea boy" Owen greeted him when he entered the main floor "we left you some pizza. Damn that Scryogen, we should have put him out. He eats a whole carcass in less than five minutes and nothing is left of him, sure there are scrapes and scratches here and there but useless. I've spend hours trying to pump something out of his stomach, all I got is a blue colour that is persistent as hell, but nothing useful, all DNA is lost."

"You've pumped out Scryogen's stomach out?" Ianto stopped in mid step. "How? Did you stick your hand in his teethed throat to make him throw up?"

"No, I stuck a needle in him to put him to sleep, he was all lively from its last meal, and then I've inserted some broccoli and onion in his mouth. Closed the doors, stick a needle in him through the hole in the glass to wake him up, he burped all over the glass and the floor, then I put him to sleep again and collected his insides. He'll probably be awake now, and hungry, you could feed him your pizza Ianto."

"Broccoli and onion?" Gwen was puzzled.

"It works every time" Ianto answered Gwen "in my no-meat policy after countrycide incident I tried all sorts of veggies on aliens, broccoli and onion are death to Scryogen, he can eat glass and tyres but broccoli, no."

"No meat policy?" Owen was appalled.

"Why are you bothered with this so much Owen?" Tosh inquired.

Owen spun his chair towards her.

"Tosh there is something about Torchwood that is more than just catching aliens, remember how Jack said, `we're arming the human race against the future`, the future that brings all sorts of aliens to our door steps, that is one of our main causes here. This thing was a perfect weapon with tranquilizers, dissolvent and who knows what else, now it's lost. There is puny chance we'll see another one again."

"So you're sorry you've lost some weapons to play with and probably cause us some more lock downs and accidental leaks of deathly acids" Tosh smiled and Owen smiled back.

"You're probably right" he said and threw his chart to trash. "I can't believe I just spent a couple hours digging through some alien vomit."

"Not just anyone" Gwen smiled "do you remember when Scryiogen ate a whole cow and then threw up on us."

"The stench lasted for days" Ianto sighed.

"Ianto, my office, now" Jack shouted out loud.

"I bet he'll make you scrub the floors" Gwen laughed.

"No, he would just enjoy that" Owen smirked.

"Close the doors" Jack told him and he obeyed.

"What exactly was Owen examining?" Jack asked cautiously. "Did you cut off part of the corpse?" He looked concerned.

"No, I let him eat the whole thing" Ianto answered simply shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Would you like to explain that, because I remember we spoke of storing it in part of the morgue that we never use?"

"We'll I made a plan, but it was impossible to perform. I can lose a corpse down there when no one is looking for it, and I can say there were a lot of corpses in between that I don't remember, but this is not the case. Considering that you wanted to trash the samples, I assumed Owen would search for the body with more severity, not to this length, but still, and even if I managed to produce false images of it eating the body, there was a fair chance of accidental finding. Owen is spending more time down there lately; he's constantly dragging out old alien corpses to look at things differently, searching for vaccines and patterns of DNA."

Jack studied him for few seconds before he nodded.

"Good thinking" he sighed "it's better this way, one burden less to carry. By the way nice move with Scryiogen, but how did you know it wouldn't kill him, it did dissolve human tissue."

"I retrieved a sample of the liquid with syringe and then sprayed it on Scryiogen, it just ate it. I thought its safe enough."

"Syringe?" Jack asked.

"Destroyed." Ianto took a deep breath. "Jack, can I ask, why?"

Jack stared at his hands.

"Just curious I guess" Ianto continued "You don't seem to mind all the damage, why don't you want for Owen to find new weapons, we do that usually."

"Because it would only be a weapon against humans, as you may notice none of Weevils or the Scryiogen were injured in any way." He said quietly.

"But why would it be designed to human physiology..." Ianto paused before he realized "of course, because humans are its prey, they feed on our energy, and their predator, we can kill them. That wasn't alien at all, it was like those fairy creatures, and it was from Earth, which means... they are everywhere."

"And how do you feel about that" Jack asked sadly looking at his palm, rubbing it with his thumb.

"I feel that I'm hungry" Jack lifted his head surprised "and that I won't go jumping on the grass in the dark." Jack smiled.

"What, you won't jump around searching every dark corner?" Jack teased.

"Why, they were here yesterday too, the only difference was I didn't know about it." Ianto shrugged his shoulders. "There must be some use of them like there are spiders, bats and scorpions."

"We sleep better because of them" Jack smiled.

"Then I like them, I love to sleep, we probably have one in the Hub, there is a lot of sleeping lately in here." Ianto said seriously and Jack's smile widened.

"Then it must have sneaked in when I was away." Jack said confidentially. "Maybe I'll sleep better from now on."

"We could do something about that" Ianto's face softened as he smiled. "But now I should go and get ready for my date; that is, if you're not grounding me for all the mess I've caused."

"How much time do you need to prepare?" Jack frowned curiously. "You look just fine this way."

Ianto looked down at his suit and frowned.

"Really? After a whole day working, chasing Weevils and feeding Scryiogen, not to mention sorting dusty archives I don't feel fine. A hot shower is what I need and a new suit, I suggest you do the same. That shirt needs to be trashed; I'm not taking it to the cleaners." Ianto pointed at him.

"What, I cleaned myself this morning as ordered, and didn't get a stain on it."

Ianto rolled his eyes.

"Jack, it's covered with mucus, you are restored, and perfect, but your clothes show how long you are on your feet, and the grass stain on the coat confirms fence story, but that thin layer of mucus suggests you were consumed by the creature. It is hardly noticeable but if you don't want Owen to sniff around and find some samples I suggest you just burn it, and the trousers."

Jack paused for a moment shocked but then he jumped up and started to take off his clothes.

"Please Jack, there are glass walls in this office." Ianto pleaded. "This is not a place for that."

"Well you should have thought about that sooner, when you made me aware that I was still wearing its insides on me." Jack dropped his shirt and pulled his T-shirt over his head.

Ianto went still for a moment just staring at his exposed torso, it was too sudden, all that skin and muscles, he just wanted to leap forward and taste it. To his luck Jack hadn't noticed how startled he was; he just turned around and pulled new T-shirt from a drawer. Ianto took in the sight of his back and shoulders. All muscles and skin, which was the sight he first daydreamt about even before he realized he desired Jack. Ianto flushed a bit when he turned around in his white T-shirt which he filled out nicely.

"Please leave the trousers on till I'm gone. Just give me the coat and I drop it at the dry cleaners. The rest of it just throw away." He lifted his hand waiting for the coat.

"But I planned to wear that coat, you love it" he resisted.

"I do love that coat" Ianto's voice came out husky "but I won't come near you until it's clean, if you want a date, you'll have to come up with something else, something clean."

Obviously Jack took him seriously because he grabbed the coat and hand it over to Ianto without further argument. Ianto took it carefully folding it inside out to avoid the worst parts.

"The others didn't notice anything wrong with it" Jack frowned offended.

"Well I know thing or two about clothes, sir" Ianto smiled tightly "so I can determine how long some poor shirt was worn."

"And that's how you knew I was gone longer than an hour" Jack smiled with relief. "I will have to keep that in mind. I have to have a cover story if I want to lie to you."

"Why would you lie to me?" Ianto frowned taking his focus off the coat to Jack.

"Well, for vanity reasons, like the mucus thing, it just didn't seem too attractive or stimulating; look at your face now."

"Oh, I wouldn't worry too much about it sir, you have other races to cover a lot more mucus and slime." Ianto said before he could contain it and got cocky grin in return, the one that made him think that Jack could make him lick the mucus off him with just few gestures and a smile, and that he would enjoy the process. It was time to go, seriously, it was time.

"Right then" he pressed his lips together straightening himself up "see you later."

He retreated from the office in a dignified but hurried speed.

"Really, the cleaners, that is his way of punishing him for slacking off" Owen whined.

"Let it go Owen, he did everything right" Tosh jumped in.

"He didn't push that corpse to the morgue like he should have" Owen argued "it was his job to do it hours ago. Seriously why was it left in the middle of the hallway? That is just lazy."

"If I recall I did ask for your assistance, there was a problem finding a place for it, we're running full in the morgue and nothing goes out, I'll have to put lower levels to use." Ianto answered firmly.

Tosh took him by the arm and lead him away from Owen.

"Oh, just ignore him" she said loudly but as they stepped away she continued in a lower voice. "I just wanted to congratulate you, it was a good job; in fact it was perfect."

"I just cleaned up a little" Ianto was confused "and caught few aliens, nothing worth mentioning."

Tosh looked at him with a knowing smile.

"Come on Ianto" she said "It was a genius cover up. I bet Jack patted you on the shoulder in there. I can't say I completely understand his logic, but I agree this should have been hidden even from us. The creature was too much; there are too many destructive ways to use it. Walking through walls is the least of them. Owen would really have a field day with it, who knows what he would think of. But you stored it in a safe enough location, are you sure that it can't be found?"

Ianto smiled grateful that he had destroyed it all; it would be hard for him to keep it from Tosh, especially because he believed she would try to use it for good uses.

"There is none, Scryiogen really did eat it, the samples were destroyed. You've seen the footage; I wouldn't be able to create false images in such a short time." He answered sincerely.

"That means it is more dangerous than I thought, then I won't try to recover data." She said thoughtfully.

"What was my give away? What did I do wrong?" He asked as the cog door opened. She smiled.

"I knew it, I was right." She jumped up. "You did nothing wrong, everything was perfect, even the peripheral damage that covered up focused on the destruction. It was just that you could have fixed the energy problem in a few minutes, instead you left it to me to handle."

"But if I did fix it there would be no proof, just my word that it happened."

"I know this way I could step in and explain it later. That makes it perfect. I'm honoured that you leaned on me to do it in time." She patted him on the chest and he smiled. "That's why I have the right kind of chore for you; there is a need for repair in the Rift manipulator."

"Tosh, leave him be" Gwen warned her as she picked up her bag to go. "He's going home now, just like me. Aren't you sweetie?"

"Oh, I wasn't aware we're going early today" Tosh was surprised.

"Come on, it was a long night, then a day, I think it's ok to go now. Isn't it Jack" she yelled "we can all go home now."

"No worries, I'll call in case of need." He responded quickly. "You too Owen, some doctor you are, allowing your patient to exhaust himself that way, you are a terrible patient."

"Ha, ha" Owen responded and jumped to his feet. "No worries, you won't get me to stay here in the midst of all this disappointing vomit. Speaking of that Ianto, shouldn't you stay and clean it all up, how would you sleep tonight knowing you left the Hub messy." He continued as they exited to the corridors.

"Leave him be Owen" Gwen shushed him "he's allowed to have a date from time to time. We all are."

"Boy or a girl?" Owen shot the question right away.

"Owen" Tosh was appalled.

"What, how should I know, he's leaning to both sides as far as I can see." He defended himself.

"I think word you were searching for is a man" Ianto said seriously "or a woman in that case; I'm not really drawn to minors' seduction thing."

Gwen laughed.

"He got you there Owen"

They exited outside and Ianto was pleased to see that it would be a nice evening, calm and warm.

* * *

><p><em>Reviews are submitted through that button there, do push it :)<em>


	125. I won't send roses

_A/N: a bit about the future and then we run towards to the date, but don't expect perfect manners :)_

_No spoilers  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>Jack took in the silent Hub relaxing. Everything was sorted. He thought about the future, which would inevitability come, about not only the destruction of the species, but of all the weapons that will be derived from it. Owen saw the potential right away; he could see it in his eyes as he jumped for joy after discovering what happened to that couple.<p>

In the future there will be a chemical weapon that will be based on the creature's ability to put people to sleep, it will work like a charm, but to get people to sleep from which they won't wake up. That weapon will not leave any traces behind; it will be impossible to tell if a person died in her sleep naturally or induced. After, it will be exposed there will be a great fear of sleep that will cause many more problems in succession. To stop the panic that caused great financial and mental losses it was decided to treat any death in the sleep like a murder. That helped to a point, but also caused a lot of innocent people being put behind bars. It was all resolved when finally they found a test that could trace the substance and they put it on an illegal list. Jack always thought it was a fake test to demean fears more than anything else.

There will be a dissolvent based on creature's insides that could cover up massacres, and was suspected that more than a few groups of people that went missing weren't off to the stars like it was said, but erased all together by the government with the means to make bodies disappear. It was also used for executions; it was a clean way of taking villains out of sight. One moment they were here, next one there was no proof they ever existed. That made people too comfortable with death sentencing so it took a wild turn for awhile.

The blue colour that wouldn't rinse itself resulted in a whole new species, after enough people dyed their skin blue it became a part of their systems and affected their children, changing some more qualities to make them more chameleon like and hard to find, alluding in some way. That started a suspicion that led to dividing that part of the human race in its own part of universe. In time they become their own species. On some parts of Earth the colour was a way of permanently marking deviants and criminals. It was a scarlet letter of its own kind.

And the ability to go through walls, that cellular shift so small but enough to make it out of sync with rest of material, was used in robberies, abductions, prison breaks, and all sorts of abuse. On a larger scale it was used to monitor private homes and suspected terrorists. That was eventually stopped by reinforced walls and shields with displaced temporal shifts in cells much like the thing Tosh did with the SUV. That's why Jack stored that file of hers before Ianto cleaned it all up; he sealed it and set the temporal lock for the date just before discovering of those handy vibrations. It wouldn't mess with the timeline, and who knows maybe things were written that way, he wouldn't stop that by overly cautious behaviour.

The skin of the creature was used in making almost invisible suits, those suits were a giveaway that the creatures were probably held somewhere hostage and grown in tanks. There weren't any out there in the open; people had scanners that could detect anything hidden. That gave Jack idea; he would live a very long time. He couldn't mess with fixed points in time but he could contribute to world in some way, at some point where he no longer knew the future, where he was free of pre-knowledge and becomes one with a time stream. Then he will be free to act, not just react. He could give himself to a long term planning task to find a facility where the creatures were held and deal with it, free them or mercy kill them, or just find out that everything is fine.

He liked that idea. At one point they will be forgotten and nobody scans in search of them, who was to say they were not restored. And sleep stops to being so bogus. Jack turned around aware that one of them was lurking in the Hub and he was satisfied with that, if nothing when he got to the point where his wrist strap was fixed, he could collect this one and take it to the future. He'd have to make a note when the Hub was empty, maybe at the time when they were in the Himalayas, or he could plan a few trips of that sort to make more spots for a future him to drop in.

It wasn't a bad idea because the human race did struggle and learned to live with creature's components, to regulate them legally and technologically, and the consequences weren't all bad. In the end when everything calmed down.

He went through Owen's station and files to make sure he didn't hide some bit information from them. Jack couldn't stop all that from happening but he would ensure that it all wasn't his fault,; that it didn't come from his hasty reactions or Owen's for that matter. He reacted very badly in the missing year on the simple fact that the future people would be so savage and ruthless, Jack had no doubt that he wouldn't be able to handle himself to become a modern Oppenheimer of chemical weapons. Jack didn't know where the information came from, or who designed the first weapon, so he wouldn't take that chance that people end up being his Torchwood.

After he was done Jack cleared up the vomit just in case he thought of something during the night. He cleaned the cells too and fed Scryiogen to speed his digestion. Ianto handled it perfectly, maybe he'd come up with un-menacing name for the creature... Ianto.

Jack started to run, he almost forgot about the time. He just had enough time for a shower and change of clothes. Shower was mandatory, he wouldn't take the chance of Ianto to finding some mucus on him, there was a pressing need tonight to do things right. In the shower Jack thought how this day began a few nights ago, with Ianto under the shower. If he had only gotten himself in the shower he would have avoided all this mess, running around, two dead people and damage in the Hub. He should just follow Ianto's lead in some things; he had proven to be good at that.

He put his clothes on in a hurry leaving his hair wet and went out running. As he reached SUV he felt naked without his coat. It was a warm night, but he was about to engage in something he hadn't done in a very long time, just sitting and talking, be looked at. He needed as much his standard equipment as possible. That's why he called the cleaners; its number was high on his phone list. Ianto was efficient enough to fill his new phone with standard numbers just an hour after his return, even the cleaner's number was there; Jack suspected he had it at hand, ready for his return. It was a nice touch.

"I know it's late" he said in the phone to the owner that knew him well as a customer, lately just by name "but if you clean my coat in ten minutes I'll pay extra."

"No problem Mr. Harkness, Mr. Jones said it was urgent so we cleaned it first thing when it arrived, it's ready." Jack smiled. `Mr Jones` he murmured to himself `I'll have to do something nice for you. `

He arrived only twenty minutes late wearing his coat. He climbed two steps at a time and was about to knock on the door when Ianto opened it.

"You're late" he informed him seriously, not to say grumpy, and Jack was left speechless taking in his appearance. He was handsome in his work suit, but this was just beautiful. He was perfectly groomed; his hair sorted, all rested and clean. His suit hugged his form perfectly, it had a discreet shine to its deep black colour and was complemented with deep ruby red silk shirt and matching tie. "Did I overdress? If you're taking me to the diner I'll just wear my hoody and jeans." his voice was flat, his features unreadable. Jack was unable to say if he was joking with him, or if he was annoyed, that always made him nervous.

"No, this is perfect" he hurried to reassure him "and red is truly your colour; you should wear those strong, deep colours all the time. It suits you." In response Ianto just lifted his eyebrow and stepped outside locking his door.

"What" Ianto looked at him from head to toe "no flowers for me?" with that he started to go down the stairs.

"Wait, what flowers?" Jack went after him bewildered.

"Isn't customary to bring a girl flowers on a first date?" Ianto answered without turning back.

"Who said anything about you being a girl?" Jack frowned.

"Well you did ask me out, set a date, arranged details and left a vague note about picking me up, I think that qualifies me as a girl here." He argued without hint of humour.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa" Jack shouted "I don't bring flowers with me on dates."

"What, you're enough of a prize?" Ianto opened the front door and held it for Jack. "No other perks necessary?"

"Well, yeah" he smiled hoping for a sign of joke on Ianto but nothing appeared. "Aren't I?"

Ianto rolled his eyes and went to the SUV. Jack paused for a second but then he ran to get ahead of Ianto. He went around SUV and opened the door up for Ianto.

Ianto stopped for a second and then smiled, just a bit.

"Thank you" he said gracefully and got in. "That wasn't so hard, was it?" he said looking up at him with small spark of joy in his eyes. Jack closed the door with a grin.

"Cocky bastard" he murmured.

"What was that, I didn't hear you" Ianto said when he got in and started the engine. "Was it a compliment?"

"The best kind" Jack answered smoothly and Ianto smiled. As he started the engine Jack looked at him thoughtfully. "Just so you know, I don't do those kinds of things. I won't send roses, so don't expect that kind of gallantry. It was a decision of mine to not even start with that because I won't remember birthdays, or any special days, for that matter I'll probably be the worst on those days, running through the mud after some scaly alien. It's just best not to set standards, later on it's just a source of grief and arguments when I start to miss out on things."

"That's just too bad" Ianto said pouting "I was looking forward of finding out how it felt to be a girl all pampered and cared for." After moment of confusion Jack smiled and started the engine.

"I bet you were one of those guys that gives my kind a bad reputation, all smooth, with memory of all the dates and occasions, with right colour of the flower and a present. That must be nice." He could picture Ianto, it fitted him.

"When I think of it, I was pretty good at it" Ianto mused "what colour of flowers could I bring you? Hm... I think a pink ones would be best, big bouquet with pink ribbons and white daisies, and nice mushy note, I could bring them to you at the office, I bet Owen would appreciate that."

"You wouldn't dare" Jack was shocked and Ianto smiled to one side with a wicked flare in his eyes.

"Wouldn't I? You see when I'm a man; I am a good man who knows how to treat his date. If you're late there is a thing called a phone, it can even send messages." He said with gentle voice and Jack was speechless for a moment.

"I will never be late again" he said quickly "I'm sorry, but I got caught up at work, and I did clean up all of Owen's mess."

"See, that wasn't that hard, just one sorry for being late, and everything was sorted. And you cleaned up for your own purpose, not for me, so don't try to get some points there." He warned him.

Jack looked at him disconcerted.

"You're tough tonight" he said carefully.

"Well, it is a responsibility to be a woman; you have to maintain a certain dose of control and standard." Ianto smiled watching through the window. "Besides if all those things were said by a woman you wouldn't have even noticed anything strange about it."

"You're right, I like you're a man" Jack said sincerely.

"Me to, but I won't pretend I'm fine with something if I'm not. I would expect you to be more in touch with your feminine side than present men. It's surprising just how much you carry that butch feeling with you." Ianto looked at him puzzled.

Jack laughed.

"You're right; twentieth century did butch me up. It just wasn't very safe to be casual and careless, I grew tired of dying, and other people were in danger by that too." Jack went still for a moment thinking how he should lighten things up again by a joke or change of topic but then Ianto put a hand on his and just gently stroke it leaving it there during the drive. Jack didn't feel the need to make light conversation anymore.

* * *

><p><em>this chapter is called by song `I won't send roses´ which John Barrowman performs :) he says that this song suits him, and I think it fits to Jack perfectly<br>_


	126. Reservations

_A/N: Ianto is waiting and skipping a call._

_No spoilers  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>Ianto waited for Jack sitting in an armchair. He turned the light switch of his tall reading lamp on and off. It's not like he wasn't expecting for Jack to be late, he just wasn't expecting he'd be so anxious. He would have to come up with something or he'd end up muttering the whole evening. He didn't like that perspective so he thought about it, what could make him less nervous. Well, he never muttered when he was angry, but how to get to upset with Jack? He understood Jack too well to get really upset. Maybe he could fake it, he was good at that, but he needed a story, a fair reason to behave badly.<p>

At that moment phone rang and he was surprised, thinking Jack remembered to call and say he'd be late, or cancel it in case of the Rift alarm. But it was his sister. Rhiannon really had a great sense of timing. He didn't pick up. He just watched the phone as it rang. He could see her on the other side chiding him, she would start with `just how long do you need to pick up`. Then there would be `why are you home alone, you should go out more`. And tomorrow when he returned her call there will be `where have you've been` and if he is honest there will be` with who`, and if he get wilds and tell her it will be `does he treat you right, don't get pushed around, you're too soft with people`. That made Ianto think of how she would treat Jack's tardiness. He smiled at the picture; Jack would get a piece of her mind right on the door step. She was always quick with her tongue, that's how she ended up with Johnny; he was ready to argue with her.

Ianto would never treat a girl like that... but a man. He looked at the clock, curving up a wicked smile. He could try that, it's not like he'd never been told off by a woman. What would a girl all dressed up waiting like this do. She would probably pace around and check her makeup. He picked up a book and opened it up on the page where he stopped. They were just about to go dive against the turbines.* The entry phone rang before he got to the end of the page. Ianto smiled and opened the door without talking. He counted seconds for climbing the stairs, knowing Jack he would skip the elevator and take the stairs two at a time.

Ianto opened the door suddenly and was rewarded by Jack's astonished face. Of course he had his coat on, if he was a gentleman who knew he was late, he would buy flowers from the shop just beside the cleaners; flowers were practically on the road. But Jack wasn't a gentleman in that sense, maybe for him dinner wasn't a formal occasion, maybe he had something ordinary in mind. That's why Ianto asked about the clothes, he wasn't ready to smear his suit with ketchup and grease.

"Red is truly your colour" Jack said as he reassured him about the clothes, that was almost gallant, so Ianto made the flowers remark.

Ianto smiled as Jack paced behind him all out of balance. It worked so Ianto poked him some more, but Jack only got defensive.

"What you're enough of the prize?" Ianto teased him and that just got him to agree. Ianto rolled his eyes thinking how he would get strangled for that line. In that moment Jack finally got that Ianto wasn't going to let it go that easily. He got ahead of him and opened him the car door. Ianto paused for a moment just to take in the sight. He didn't expect he'd like it so much. It was just that he made that kind of small gesture for Jack the whole day, it was so ordinary, that it was unnoticed; it was nice to see roles reversed. Ianto sat down and looked up to him, he was a prize by himself, but it was better to keep him on the edge so he didn't forget to behave himself.

"See that wasn't that hard" he said to him and Jack grinned shaking his head.

"Cocky bastard" he said under breath and Ianto smiled satisfied, it was real compliment considering Jack thought himself to be one.

Then Jack gave his little speech about what he wouldn't do for him and Ianto was amused by his honesty, he wasn't expecting any of that anyway, birthdays, anniversaries and flowers. Still it was a gallant gesture to give him a heads up, maybe Jack was more of a gentleman that he gave himself credit for. So Ianto let him know that he was just putting up a show pouting a bit. Jack got the joke and finally pulled out; he parked the SUV like he does everywhere, on the edge of the curb right in front of Ianto's entrance. In and out, he didn't expect Ianto to need more time. Maybe that's why he had gotten there late.

"That must be nice" Jack said about Ianto's alleged dating skills which weren't bad, he knew how to do things right. If he were to pick up Jack, he would get there early and wait a bit for him to be ready, to make him feel wanted. It was about the little tricks. Of course you could overdo it and scare someone away. In Jack's case it wouldn't be too hard to get ahead of yourself. When he thought about it some gestures could be used as punishment for Jack, it wouldn't be bad to have something like that at hand in case he wants to make Jack behave himself. What would be dreaded by Jack? Ianto pictured a bouquet of flowers all lavish, big and pink and smiled. He could just see himself as he carried it by Owen, the jokes would never stop.

He described the bouquet to Jack and his reaction was priceless, he really got scared.

"You wouldn't dare" Jack's voice was menacing but Ianto knew he could do just that, maybe even just to see what happens.

"I will never be late again" Jack said and he obviously took him seriously because he even added an apology in there.

Ianto was pleased by that, it's always nice to have something to be taken seriously.

"You're tough tonight" Jack said thoughtfully and Ianto decided it was enough of the banter for now. So he explained his woman-role to him.

"I won't pretend I'm fine with something if I'm not" he added just to be on the safe side, men still had difficulties getting their feelings out. That made him comment on Jack's tendency to act all tough, for Ianto his act wasn't all that convincing.

"The twentieth century did butch me up" Jack confessed and Ianto could see a younger Jack, all flirt and excitement, and all bad things that could happen to him, it was a shame really that he got put down, but Ianto doubted that a younger Jack would have had the patience for Ianto, sure he would stop by, flirt and get some, but then he'd be on his way. Ianto reached out and did what he hadn't done yesterday. He just stroked Jack's lower arm and left his hand there. It wasn't uncomfortable, it was quite enjoyable.

Ianto was surprised when Jack parked by a posh French restaurant in the centre.

"How in hell did you get reservations the same day? You know that you need to book a table here?"

Jack jumped out got around the car and opened Ianto's door.

"Have some faith in me Ianto Jones" he smiled leaning on the door frame.

Ianto sighed and got out.

"So what do you want me to believe" Ianto said dryly as they approached the restaurant "that you made reservations months ago intending to ask me out, that you've time travelled to make reservations assuming I'll accept, or just that someone stood you up and I jumped in?"

Jack shook his head smiling.

"Now you're giving me too much credit, I got this" Jack tapped his wrist strap "and although it can't time travel anymore, it can mess with computers. Luckily restaurants finally caught up with technology."

"What" Ianto stopped as Jack opened up the doors "you took someone else's reservation?"

"Always cautious" Jack shook his head "no in a place like this there is always a spot in case someone important decides to show up, and we're important, aren't we?"

Ianto smiled.

"I guess" he said not giving in completely and went inside.

* * *

><p><em>Because of all the tension around their date I feel need to put some disclaimers around it. I don't expect you to agree with my version of events but I hope you'll enjoy a little toss and turns. Don't get your hopes to high in big romantic gestures :)<em>

_*Ianto is reading Summer Queen from Joan D. Vinge  
><em>


	127. Casual converstion

_A/N: We discover how Jack picked the restaurant and they get to talk some_

_No spoilers  
><em>

_Beta-e by wonderful TattoedLibrarian, you should go and support her new story Cyberia, I would like see how it turns out, so some cheering would be nice :)  
><em>

* * *

><p>Inside of the restaurant there were chandeliers, music and wooden furniture; nothing plastic or disposable. It made Ianto feel uneasy. In other circumstances he would feel just fine in a place like this, but with Jack behind him he felt displaced. It just didn't feel like Jack and Ianto wasn't able to decipher what he was trying to accomplish. It wasn't like he was wooing Ianto to marry him, to give birth to his children or to confess his undying love. Not that he would expect for Jack to ever do that.<p>

It just didn't suit him, a posh place yes, a nice place yes, an expensive place yes again, but this was too classy, he would have never expected that Jack would feel comfortable in a place like this where waiters had brooms shoved up their spine, and moved so smoothly that they couldn't be heard. `Well maybe I'm just jealous`, he thought to himself `because I look lose and wild in comparison, but maybe that was a good thing.`

As they sat down he watched Jack closely while he talked to the waiter, his face remained impassive, he didn't flirt or insinuate. What could make Jack choose this place?

"Was their computer system the easiest to tamper with?" Ianto spoke up when the waiter was gone.

"No it was the location, it is a very good one; some wine cellars here are more than a hundred years old." He said with a smile.

"And of course you know your cellars." Ianto deadpanned as waiter brought their wine. It was very tasteful.

"I loved that year" Jack look at the bottle from 1912.

"It was a very good year for wines" waiter responded and Ianto smiled.

"What was so good about that year?" Ianto asked when he was gone.

"Well I stopped drinking so I remember it clearly; it's a wonder how the world looks so wonderful after a long period of blurriness." Jack smiled and sipped some wine. Ianto noticed that he didn't take a lot. "It took a frightening amount of alcohol but eventually I would be able to pass out."

"What made you stop?" Ianto inquired further and got a grin in return.

"Really that is your conversation for the evening my drinking habit from almost a hundred years ago?" He leaned forward on his elbows.

"I meant to work my way forward from that." Ianto played with his glass.

"And what? Make me tell my long and drawn out story?" Jack crossed his fingers putting them on the table.

"For God sake no" Ianto snorted "I wouldn't dream of challenging your ability of speaking in anecdotes, besides that is the past. I have no great desire to dwell upon it."

"Well that is a pleasant surprise" Jack's eyebrows shot up. "With that entire undying, undecidedly old thing, I thought you'd want answers and explanations."

"What would be the point of that?" Ianto rolled his eyes. "For me to get old until you get to half of that story" he sighed "no, thank you. I meant to get through easier topics but I still haven't come up with them. I know most of the things about you, what you like to drink, eat, your habits, even some secrets. I know pretty much everything you do during the day, so easy topics are hard actually."

"You don't know everything I do" Jack frowned and Ianto just looked at him.

"If I don't know for sure, it's not that hard to guess." He said firmly.

"Really? What did the team and I do while you worked on the mess in the Hub?"

"You were in the pub judging by the smell of you, and the noise that came from behind you as we spoke on the phone."

"That was easy one" Jack leaned forward "What did I..." Jack paused looking at his wrist strap; he opened it and tapped a bit. Then he smiled apologetically "I forgot something important, can you wait for me here for just a second, I'll be back in a flash." Ianto lifted his eyebrows ironically. "Maybe you could guess what I forgot when I come back, so we could see how good you are." He added and Ianto nodded.

As he sat Ianto started to examine data he was aware of. Jack ran off, so he was in hurry trying to decrease time he would need for his task. It was transmitted through his wrist strap. Ianto widened his search for data. What else did he know about tonight? Everyone went home for the night, the Hub was empty. Ianto visualised the map of the area and smiled. He took a roll from a basket and tasted it, he was hungry as hell. After short period of time Jack ran in short breath and smiling.

"Sorry" he said as he sat down and Ianto tapped his finger on the table.

"It was really the location" he said and Jack looked confused "this restaurant is the closest one to the Rift centre."

"Well it's closest nice restaurant." He admitted. "But it was a way to get dinner without work ruining it. There's really a small chance that something big will come through, and Weevils aren't often restless."

"And if they are, there is a fair chance to find them here" Ianto concluded feeling suddenly relaxed in this place, that made sense, it fit well in Jack's persona. "One Weevil I presume."

Jack smiled and saluted him casually.

"You assume well" he said rolling his sleeves up his arms. Ianto loved when he did that, it showed his lower arms nicely. "When will dinner arrive?" he turned around.

Ianto smiled wickedly on one side.

"This is a very nice place, we'll have to wait for dinner, wait for it to be done."

"Oh" Jack whined "I'm hungry."

"Not like me, you can easily die from starvation and revive full fed, what about me?" Jack laughed out loud surprised." I already ate this whole basket." He showed him one remaining roll. Jack took it, divided it and gave him half. That gesture made him feel better.

"They'll bring out appetizers soon" Jack said looking around. "We'll just have to talk ourselves through this crisis of hunger."

"Yeah, like conversations are so easy after more than a year of avoiding talk. Let's sit here politely and pretend we don't know each other." Ianto looked at his glass. After a pause Jack reached out and took his hand.

"Let's not do that" Jack said gently "Tell me about Owen seeing you in action, or how he got to shove needle in your ass." Ianto shook his head.

"They talked about it, did they?" He laughed lightly.

"Well I really think they were trying to rub it in my face, to be frank, I was kind of jealous of him."

"Don't even joke about it" Ianto flinched "it's just that they were concerned for me after you left so I had to put on a show, go out with Owen and flirt a bit to get him off my back."

Jack opened his mouth and stayed silent for a moment.

"Was there a need for concern?" he asked cautiously.

Ianto just look at him and Jack nodded.

"I would love to see that show" he smoothly switched into more flirtatious tone of voice.

"Owen didn't appreciate it" Ianto said with a smile. "But he kept his promise and kept Tosh and Gwen off the subject."

"How did they get that there was a subject at hand" Jack frowned "something you said or did..."

"Um... you kind of kissed me back there" Ianto muttered.

"Oh yeah" Jack grinned widely "I did, it was a nice kiss."

Ianto blushed and looked around. At that moment the waiter returned with a tray of appetizers so they broke their contact, retrieving their hands from the table.

Jack took in the meal and started to eat slowly enjoying the taste. On the other hand Ianto ate efficiently, focused and fast.

"You really are hungry" said Jack when he stopped.

"I skipped lunch because of that archive mess." He said taking a deep breath.

"Oh, yes, but didn't Owen save you some pizza?" Jack tried to remember.

"He did, but I wouldn't eat anything he touched today. He could have smeared it with Scryiogen vomit just to spite me." He said taking one more bite. "Speaking of that, he was really upset with that turn of events."

"He was" Jack said and then stopped to watch his wrist strap. He threw a disconcerted look at his food.

"Where is it?" Ianto threw his napkin and pulled out his chair.

"No, I should..." Jack started but Ianto stood up lifting his open palm to ask for the keys.

"I won't sit here alone again, besides, I know my Weevils."

"Two alleys on the right, left corner beside the flower shop." Jack briefed him and gave him the keys.

Valet looked at him curiously as he passed him by. The Weevil was in the exact spot Jack told him and he shoved him in the trunk beside other one with no difficulty. Ianto threw a look at the flower shop amused by the irony. On the sidewalk he noticed a few scattered petals, some leaves and one perfect rosebud. He picked it up; he threw away the stem and took only the head with him.

In the restaurant the appetizers had been cleared. He sat down and laid the rose before Jack on the table, it was red on the light. Jack took it in his fingers with a quizzical look.

"I was by the flower shop and it was in the road" Ianto said sternly and Jack laughed.

"Thank you" he said and brought it to his nose "it's lovely just like you." Ianto rolled his eyes and Jack laughed. "And it smells nice" Jack's voice got low "I bet you smell nice too, under that suit, your skin all fresh and smooth, ready to be savoured."

As Jack's gaze scanned him like he could see through clothes Ianto blushed wildly. At that moment a waiter came with plates and cutlery and disturbed Jack's concentration, Ianto was able to breathe in again.

"So" Jack spoke up with a casual voice as he put down the rose beside his plate "how did you manage to fight that multi part creature, its paralytic is very powerful."

Ianto sipped some of his drink thinking about that moment.

"I fooled it" he said "Mountholder, that was its name, wanted to lure Owen into a trap so I convinced him I would never ask for help in trouble, but I would ask for assistance with my pants."

"You talked with him?" Jack was intrigued.

"It forms psychic link, I could hear all those people that died in him too, that's how I knew all about them, and it's all in the report." He finished seriously.

"Yeah, it says a lot in there, but it doesn't say how you did it" Jack persisted, looking at him intently. "You can say my curiosity is not just casual, I will live long enough, maybe it will come in handy." He smiled sincerely.

"You're just saying that to make me talk" Ianto grunted "you could just wait for it to dump you and revive."

"Well maybe, but maybe I'll have the opportunity to save someone with that knowledge, like you did Owen and yourself." Jack smiled innocently.

"It's not really polite to drag up something potentially embarrassing on a date" Ianto didn't give in and Jack's smile grew wider like he knew something.

"Okay then, later on that one, maybe you could tell me about Tosh's reign, why that didn't work out, and how did Gwen get on top. I would have expected you to be before her in line" Jack inquired.

"Me? They would never pick me; they all would have to be incapacitated to turn to me, and it would have to be something really important for me to take on that kind of responsibility, I'm not known for my leadership qualities." He argued.

"You did organise and lead the entire Lisa rescuing mission, and you were successful at it, no matter miss-intent." Jack persisted.

"That's different, I loved Lisa, for someone I love I go into battle mod, and sometimes can't recognize myself. There is a switch inside me and it just went off, I stop thinking and just do necessary things without thinking about the danger." Ianto explained himself honestly and watched confused as Jack's face lighten up spreading into a big smile.

"My knight in shining armour" Jack murmured and Ianto frowned.

"There is no need for mocking" Ianto defended himself with dignity.

"There is nothing ironic in my statement" said Jack firmly and then the waiter came with their meal.

It smelled divine and Ianto felt hungry again.

"Anyway" Ianto decided to move topic away from him "we voted Tosh first, since Owen disqualified himself in all that raging around with that Abbadon thing and shooting you, of course." He said that casually. "She was quite good at it if you ask me, but then there was that alien that could read minds and it let us see into her mind, all the insecurity and fears, the way she thinks, after that there just wasn't any trust left in her. She felt very uncomfortable about it too so it was decided to try something different."

"Gwen." Jack shook his head. "How'd that work, she is a rookie after all."

"Well not exactly her, Owen is powerful shadow, he led in the field, she did in relation to the police and public, it worked quite well. Underneath that bickering they work well as a team." He said flatly.

"But what did you see in Tosh's mind" Jack was intrigued "she looked so embarrassed when it was brought up."

"I don't know what the others saw" Ianto said undecidedly "probably work stuff, but there was a moment of peace when us two were alone and then Owen came in, I could see him through her eyes for a second. I must say he doesn't look so distasteful through her eyes." Jack's eyebrows shot up and Ianto glared at him deadly. "Don't even go there" he said "it was a brief moment, and when it passed I saw him like I always do, irritating."

Jack's lips curved up.

"I wouldn't dream to doubt your taste, you did pick me." He said smugly.

* * *

><p><em>Don't forget to review :)<em>


	128. Red as a rose

_A/N: Jack's point of view on reading and romancing_

_No spoilers  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>Jack thought that dinner was going quite well. Ianto grunted but that was his way, and in Jack's opinion, part of his charm. He would go back to that multi-part-alien-thing later, maybe when all Ianto's inhibitions were suspended in some highly aroused state of mind. Jack was always good at retrieving information during sex, much better than in torturing methods. Those methods made him sick after that year that passed unnoticed.<p>

It was a nice surprise that Ianto had no desire to cross examine him about his past, life and years. He wasn't quite sure he could give him an exact number, he lost track along the way. Ianto wasn't a least bit concerned about his drunken years, or all unknown life. Unlike Gwen he was able to accept this Jack, the person he became over the years and Jack liked that.

Ianto just made his past a good interlude to talking about sleep fairies, and name topic, when his wrist strap went off again. Jack was really hungry so he didn't argue when Ianto got up and went to collect the Weevil. It was fortunate really that he read Jack so easily; there was no need to pretend. He liked that too. Ianto was efficient as always, and wasn't gone long, but Jack discovered he missed him while he waited. He kept looking at the mirror that showed the doors behind him. He was gentleman enough to give Ianto a seat with a view of the door.

Jack was just about to continue their conversation where they stopped when Ianto sat down but he threw a small red rosebud on the table before Jack. Jack took it between his fingers. It was so delicate and refined, and its red colour competed against Ianto's shirt underlining pale skin of Ianto's face. `Red as a rose` Jack thought while he wondered how he could like it so much, a small flower picked up from the road. Jack breathed it in and its sweet aroma filled his mind with pleasant pictures of an exposed and calm Ianto with closed eyes, naked skin and warm aromas. Jack was overwhelmed by the thought about how much that trust represents, to submit yourself to someone. Ianto reacted to his voice, but to Jack's despair nice pictures were smeared by violent ones; there were glimpses of things the Master would do to such a devoted body.

That's why Jack didn't pursue that topic when they were interrupted. Instead he poked a bit more at that deceiving method. But Ianto soon told him off, setting a border around it. Later on, during pre-climax state, he decided and moved to the topic of leadership in his absence. He wanted to make sense of it and the rest of them weren't very helpful. Tosh would retreat into shyness, Gwen would suddenly become bashful, and Owen just snorted. From Jack's point of view Ianto was a much better leader than any of them, he had a cool head to make decisions, compassion, and determination; and hadn't had the fears and passions that made the other three incapacitated from time to time. They would just blank out refusing to accept reality, unlike Ianto who knew how to sustain what he doesn't like, and deal with it. That's why he suggested it to Ianto, but was met with disbelief.

"Me? They would never pick me" Ianto said sternly then adding the conditions in which he would be considered. He described the state they were in during the missing year to the letter and Jack smiled sadly. He was the one to pull when everything else stopped. Jack didn't want to let him think so little about himself, so he even pulled out Lisa in the middle of their dinner. Ianto didn't even flinch; he kept talking like it was a normal thing to do so, to discuss her with Jack.

"That's different" he said "I loved Lisa" using her name with ease and talking in past tense about love "for someone I love I go into battle mod." Jack held his breath for a moment shocked by that unconscious confession. Ianto felt for him, at least in that missing time, he felt love for him. That made Jack feel safe and warm and suddenly he didn't feel the dark that was always lurking, searching for him on the edge of his consciousness.

"My knight in shining armour" Jack murmured thinking about Ianto as he walked in towards him, when he threatened him that he'd knock him out and drag him from the ship. Jack hardly recognized him, it could only compare to Ianto on that day when Lisa was activated. Battle mod was a good way to describe that focus and determination. The day Ianto punched him, disobeyed him, and yelled at him. Jack wasn't sorry for any of that now. It was a stepping stone of their relationship.

"There is nothing ironic in my statement" Jack said frankly and Ianto pushed that topic from the menu too. He switched towards the leadership issue and he managed to convey it quite well.

"I wouldn't dream to doubt your taste, you picked me" Jack said deciding to lead the way to a new topic. Subtle guidance just wasn't his style. "Speaking of picking, if you were to come up with a cool name for our friend with many tentacles, what it would be, and don't make it menacing."

"Owen called it 'moving carpet'" Ianto offered and it was time for Jack to look at the ceiling desperate.

"I said a cool name, I should say a real name, Flying balls, Sticky balls and Moving carpets aren't really usable outside of the Hub."

"Flying balls?" Ianto frowned and Jack just shook his head signalling him to let it be so he did. "What was their name in the end?" Ianto asked flatly.

"Gollum" Jack said before thinking and then glared at Ianto "You tricked me."

"I'm good at that" Ianto smiled innocently. "Gollum like the fantasy character, that can't be good, why him?"

"I think because he was creepy and despite all efforts he was unable to fight his nature and self-destruct." Ianto formed small o with his mouth and frowned.

"I would presume they didn't have best of destines then" he said seriously but then turned to much younger expression "Gollum, really, you watched it?"

"No its just one of those things, it went into common knowledge, an unconscious one, like fairytales these days." Jack explained.

"We're not in a fairy tale world" Ianto frowned.

"Really? So that's just a coincidence that every couple has a wedding as a reproduction of fairytale land, that every relationship that starts is burdened with necessity to be `the one` or it's just a waste of time. That newspapers follow couples trying to determine which one are real and which false one that would be left to trash bins. And it's just an accident that your politicians and war affairs are shadowed by latest break up or hook up. People have sex, maybe children, and then they die, over, end of story. The story doesn't end when some ring is on, and some rice is thrown in the air, it ends when someone dies."

Ianto looked sad for a moment but then he put on his smile "What that's your excuse for avoiding frivolous courting? I'm not the one, you just said out front, that can't take your very far, not in the age of the fairy tales. It must be frustrating" he mocked him a bit and Jack laughed after surprised silence.

"It is, really" he shook his head. "I have very recognizable face; don't want to be chased around with a frying pan."

"That would be a sight" Ianto laughed lightly.

"I don't know what came over me" Jack said "maybe all that business about sleep fairies made me think about fairy land, haven't been there in ages."

"Must be nice" Ianto murmured absently "sleep fairies?"

"My personal name for them" Jack explained.

"Not good, nothing that involves people, or their habits, it will invoke unpleasant associations, people just work that way." Ianto mused.

"I've noticed, so no name for them, they are too menacing and strange" Jack sighed letting it go, he just couldn't do everything.

"Night watchers" Ianto said suddenly "it will invoke Nightingale, nothing beautiful as that, and its blue colour will invoke deep night. It sounds like some guard, so its menacing nature could be justified."

Jack grinned.

"You're amazing, you know that." Jack rubbed his neck looking up. "Night watchers, then its electric nature would be perceived like something to remind you to go to bed on time."

"Why are you so bothered with them? First were those sticky balls, now this, why do you care so much if they can't even communicate with us."

"Maybe just because of that; there are so many species out there that aren't humanoid in some way, or at least capable of learning language. And when they are encountered they don't pass so well. Maybe humans would be less crazy if they had an understanding that not everything is understandable, that some things are just different." He smiled sadly.

"Like you" said Ianto softly and Jack was amazed once again of his ability to hit the point, Jack wasn't even aware that was the point in there somewhere. "You know, that sounds just like something Lem* would write, he was possessed by intelligence that wasn't human, and there wasn't any way to communicate and understand. Have you read his works?"

"Well that is a real first date question" Jack laughed "you managed to perform it. Probably not, maybe it's somewhere in there with the rest of things but I rarely use that part of my brain."

Ianto frowned.

"Explain." Jack smiled of course that would interest Ianto.

"In my time people still read books, but there is a shorter way to absorb novels, you just lie back and sleep and everything is just dumped in your head, you can reach it if necessary, but if not you never even know it's there. I wasn't back there so long that I think doors are shut and there is no technology yet to ease up that process."

"So you don't read" Jack shook his head, just like Ianto to concentrate on the down side instead of technology.

"I read reports" he offered hopefully and Ianto sighed leaning back.

"Well they can pass as science fiction any day" Ianto argued.

"Science fiction" Jack snorted "that's just a name for things that haven't happen yet or in this Universe."

"Other Universes?" Ianto asked with disbelief and then started to laugh, he couldn't stop.

"What?" Jack was confused.

"It's just that I thought I live in enough of a Sci-fi life, aliens and all, and that I can't be amazed so easily, but other Universes, I won't even think of that. I'll just scratch it off my mind."

"I do that all the time" Jack smiled "Will you eat that?" Jack pointed with his fork on abandoned piece of broccoli on his plate."

"No, it's ruined for me for awhile. You really shouldn't give me such tasks before dinner." Ianto picked some potato from Jack's plate.

"Hey Scryiogen was your idea" Jack argued, Ianto glared at him so he added "a brilliant one, you were truly amazing... and beautiful, and smart, and have a great voice..."

"Stop it" Ianto smiled "you don't want to spoil me, next thing you know I'll ask for roses and horseback rides."

"Naked horseback ride?" Jack asked hopefully.

"No, we will not get innocent animals involved in this" Ianto answered firmly.

"What a dirty mind you have Mr. Jones, I like it" Jack grinned as the waiter came back for the plates before Ianto could reply.

* * *

><p><em>My beta is annoyed by `fairies` and thinks that the name is creepy, I find it soothing, but I always liked strange things, and I'm not at home in English, how does it sound to you?<em>

_*Stanislaw Lem  
><em>


	129. Labels

_A/N: and the drums are rolling_

_No spoilers  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>"We talked all through the meal, I won't remember how anything tasted" Jack complained when the plates were gone.<p>

"Well, we could do this some other time and just eat" Ianto offered simply.

"Then it's a date" Jack stretched out his arms and Ianto thought it was just to show off his muscles, not for need. Whatever it was it worked, Ianto was ready to leave and find some place quieter, but it would still take time for desert to arrive, and then the check after a dignified pause. It seemed like ages. Jack flipped his wrist strap open again.

"How many?" He asked as Jack frowned.

"Three" he answered sharply "but don't worry I can take them."

"No" Ianto said with determination and Jack looked up at him with surprise.

"What, you don't think I'll let you go there alone? No way" he looked angry.

"We will both go" Ianto pulled out his chair.

"Without dessert? They won't let us both leave without the check."

"Watch and learn" Ianto said and got up hurrying to the bar. Jack followed him.

"We need our check quickly, there is an emergency, and could you pack our dessert to go, the kids will love it." He smiled.

"Of course; you can't leave them alone for a minute" said the waiter that had been expressionless whole evening, he smiled and rushed into the kitchen.

"Kids?" Jack leaned over Ianto's shoulder.

"It makes them quicker." Ianto explained as Jack took out his wallet and a card.

"What, you're a gentleman enough to pay?" Ianto smiled.

"Well, I did ask, it would be rude not to. Besides I can pay for anything; that should win some luring point for me."He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and Ianto rolled his eyes.

"I highly doubt you play on that card, I've seen your accounts it's all bound to new investments, nothing free to throw around. What do you need it for anyway, you live like a priest" At that moment waiter came back with a bag and took the card from Jack.

"Good thing we're moving, they are beginning to get restless in the SUV" Jack said absently watching through the window, waiter looked up bewildered.

"Dogs" Ianto jumped in "we couldn't leave them with the babysitter."

"She just doesn't understand their delicate nature" Jack said in an affected manner and took Ianto under his arm. Waiter gave him back his card with tight smile and a goodbye.

"Feminine enough for you?" Jack asked when he opened the door for him.

"Good enough" Ianto laughed. "Now they'll think we're crazy."

"That's a good thing; next time when we stop by we can do anything, because they already have a label for us."

"And labels are such a good thing" Ianto snorted.

"But they are" Jack argued "you can easily hide behind them because no one's looking at you; they are too busy reading the label."

With that Jack jumped in the driver's seat and started the engine.

"Really" Ianto said opening the door "you'd do the turn engine on routine. I won't jump into a moving car."

"Sorry, I'm already three streets ahead."

Ianto smiled, he liked to see Jack react, and hearing sorry wasn't bad either.

"What every boy dreams of on a date" he said shaking his head and got in. "Some more work."

"I thought you loved your work" Jack parked suddenly.

"I do" Ianto said flatly "but Weevils, Scryiogens and other creatures aren't so stimulating."

"Well, think about it this way, I'll look even hotter to you after them. You sure do" Jack scanned him and Ianto laughed not minding really. Maybe some running is just what he needed to unwind a bit.

Catching three Weevils was a bit harder task. Two of them were aggressive; by the look of it they fought for the third one.

"Great" Jack took a deep breath in "just what we need, to break up a love triangle, we're romantic tonight, there is no doubt about that."

"Calm one first?" Ianto asked taking out the Weevil spray.

"Sure" Jack agreed.

It sounded like good plan, but as soon as they grabbed the calm Weevil the other two turned on them.

"Split up" Jack yelled and they ran in two different directions. Ianto didn't have any additional problems with his Weevil, he just hid behind trash bins and jumped on the Weevil from behind. After he calmed him down he had the uncomfortable thought that there was something of Mountholder left in him, he wouldn't done a stake out like that before.

When he returned to SUV Jack still hadn't return. The calmer Weevil was still in the same spot looking dazed. `It was probably affected by that spray that went off course when the other Weevils attacked` he thought and put it with rest of them. He was about to go in search for Jack when he appeared all messed up with a torn shirt with some blood on it.

"This one would definitely win the girl" Jack said and Ianto opened the SUV.

"One Weevil gave you such trouble, it feels familiar." Ianto poked him as he closed the doors.

"Well it would be a lot easier if I could just rush in like always, but I was too busy avoiding dying, it's a lot harder to do these things when you can't just try and die." He complained examining his shirt.

"Why did you do that? Change your tactics?" Ianto frowned.

"It wouldn't be a very nice of me to die on you during our date especially because it bothers you. This one is trashed; we'll have to go back to the Hub anyway so I'll change..." he was cut off because Ianto crashed into him and pinned him against the SUV.

"Talking about familiar" Jack grinned widely "did I do something right?"

"You listened" Ianto said huskily and kissed him fiercely. There was just too much space and clothes between them; Ianto was willing to devour him there and then when they were interrupted by an old feminine voice.

"What wouldn't you see these days" she grumped out loud and they broke apart "I guess I should be grateful that you have your pants on. In my day there weren't these kinds of things." She shook her head continuing to walk.

"Sorry to inform you, but they were just better hidden" Jack spoke up.

"You should follow suit" the old lady with a cane and grey hair turned her head over her shoulder.

"It would be such a shame to miss out on lovely night like this one" Jack talked back. Ianto composed himself and got into the SUV.

"So" Jack spoke up when he climbed in "we could make it to the Hub if we hurry; it's really lucky we skipped dessert."

"We're in hurry to get somewhere?" Ianto was puzzled.

"Movie, remember" Jack turned on the lights and stepped on the accelerator.

"You weren't planning in going to the movies with five Weevils in the trunk?"

"We did it through the dinner" Jack said simply and Ianto rolled his eyes.

"Yeah and we didn't get to the dessert" Ianto was exasperated "how long do you think movies last?"

"I don't know, half an hour, forty minutes" Jack offered and Ianto looked at him in silence.

"You're just messing with me aren't you?" He asked and Jack laughed.

"Maybe" he gave him a crooked smile.

* * *

><p><em>Please do review :)<em>


	130. Popcorn and dessert

_A/N: We get to the movies and some food discussion_

_No spoilers  
><em>

_Beta-ed:TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>Jack changed quickly and then he hurried down to help Ianto but he was almost done when he got there.<p>

"How did you do that?" he was bewildered. "Have you got some hidden time machine I'll have to confiscate?"

"I bet you'd just to use it yourself" Ianto grumbled. "No, I just took the quiet one first and the others just crouched down and started to whine, I do believe Owen is right, they are transmitting some kind of thoughts, or at least emotions. So I let them follow us and they did, they practically went to the cages themselves."

"Hm" Jack mused for a second then he remembered the time, he doesn't have time travel machine anymore. "That's great, but we have to get moving and step on it."

Ianto raised his eyebrows not moving so Jack grabbed him by his arm and pulled, starting to run towards the exit.

"You're really in a rush" Ianto commented as they reached the SUV "didn't expect you to be so anxious to see a movie."

"I just don't want to miss it and get stuck watching Twilight" Jack stepped on it and pulled out.

"I wouldn't think you were afraid of some teen vampires that don't even feed on people, or die in sunlight." Ianto teased.

"No, I just don't want to work anymore tonight. That movie is only alien propaganda; I just don't want to get into it." Jack shrugged it off; he just didn't like species that would push themselves on playing with emotions and superficial similarity taking the edge off their nature which was incompatible with humans.

"Really? Will it work?" Ianto frowned concerned and Jack decided he wouldn't like it if Ianto decided to make him to watch it tonight and explain everything, so he decided against all reasoning to share some future knowledge with him, he probably wasn't a part of those events, none of them were, and Jack like it that way.

"No, it will be a great hit with various sequels and mass hysteria, but it will be overkill. After the last film is released the hooked crowd will re-watch it so many times until they wake up from hypnosis and get horrified with the whole concept of cold blooded superior clans that hide beside us making young girls crazy submissive. That and the rage that the movies will invoke in the unaffected population will result in their withdrawal, because they are woundable and pretty easy to kill." Jack finished his fast summary. Hoping that would be enough for Ianto to drop it, he didn't seem reassured so he added "and it's Unit's case not ours anyway, they are doing their job already."

"So what are we watching then?" Ianto cheered up knowing that someone was taking care of it. "I bet it's Iron Man. I can see you enjoying that kind of action and they both are cute." Ianto tried to guess and Jack smiled.

"They are, but I thought that it would be insensitive of me to pick a movie about the beginnings of the Cybermen" Jack glanced at him, Ianto blanked out.

"I never thought about it that way." He said disconcerted. "Is there any movie that isn't about aliens or the future?"

"I haven't even noticed it; there are many movies with aliens this year, wonder if that means something?" He paused but then he remembered that he won't go there tonight. "There is one; I was nicely surprised that was currently playing. Ip Man, it's about a human, I never met him, but Bruce spoke highly of him, so it must be interesting."

"Never heard of it" Ianto said thoughtfully "let's try, I love surprises."

"Do you really" Jack growled but they were there and there wasn't time to continue on that thought. They managed to get the tickets and get in as the last commercial ended. Ianto placed a bag of popcorn between them and Jack thought that it would get in the way of his moves but then the movie began and he forgot about it.

They both did, they were consumed by the movie.

"How can something so slow can be so catching, I don't even remember when we ate the popcorn" Jack said when they got up and he looked at Ianto's face that had a sad smile.

"You ate all the popcorn" Ianto deadpanned straightening himself up. "I think we were trying to decipher their thoughts in a lack of conversation, we all talk too much."

"Maybe, but I like to talk" Jack said looking around smiling at passing crowd, it was nice to be surrounded by so many people talking, smiling, wiping tears, so many emotions and words. "Do you think that we could eat that dessert in the car?"

"No" Ianto answered firmly and Jack looked at him with surprise "it's sticky, greasy and could drop on the seats, do you know how hard is to clean that car's leather seats to a shiny polish, everything is visible on that deep black."

"It's just Palatschinken " Jack tried to argue weakly.

"Exactly, with chocolate and cream. No" he was determined but then he threw a glance at him "but if you insist you're still hungry after that dinner and that popcorn we could go to my place and eat it there, I have some cutlery and dishes."

"Really, that sounds delicious" Jack moved in closer lowering his voice.

"That was an invitation to eat dessert" Ianto sighed as they stopped by the SUV, Jack's face dropped. Ianto shoved hands in his pockets.

"I thought that the evening was going well" Jack said cautiously.

"It is" Ianto looked at the ground kicking some small pebble with his foot "going well. It's just that the last time everything went so fast... I just thought..." he left it hanging in the air.

Jack smiled gently and stepped forward grabbing the handle and opening the door for Ianto.

"Say no more" Jack said fondly and made gesture with his hand showing him in "if you would enter Mr. Jones, I will take you home."

Ianto smiled a bit and sat down.

"So" Ianto spoke up when they were on the road "I presume that Bruce would be Bruce Lee then."

Jack smiled widely.

"Yeah, how many people can say that" he winked at him.

"Some really old people" Ianto poked and get growl in return. "How did that happen, did you just go there and learned Kung fu, I never seen you fly around."

"No, there weren't time for that, and I'm more of athletic Hector kind of guy, I wouldn't fly around so easily." He sighed.

"Hector... no, you won't get me sidetracked" Ianto growled "Bruce Lee, why wasn't there any time? You've mentioned it, so it's a fair question" Ianto argued further "and you can't hide behind your usual vague I'm-the-boss-that's-all-you-need-to-know. This is a date and you're not the boss right now."

"You are tough" Jack smiled satisfied; he never got to tell that story to somebody "I thought that you weren't interested in my long boring story."

"I'm not interested in a short summary, that in your case would surely be long summary, but full events are interesting, and Bruce Lee is involved. And I am a boy, I did watch his movies." He engaged in some serious arguing.

"You're the boss" Jack said. "It's not a very long story. They sent me there to help because my extensive knowledge on how to die, he needed help in dying convincingly."

"Hm" Ianto snorted "you weren't very helpful, his death was everything but convincing."

"That's because he really died" Jack said sadly. "Everything was set, it would even be recorded on camera so there would be no need for a doctor, although we could have provided one, he would be questioned a lot, but Bruce wanted to finish his movie, and it took too long."

"Why did he need to die?" Ianto asked quietly. "Was he an alien?"

"No, he wasn't, he wouldn't have been so famous if he was, they wouldn't have let him. He just had an encounter with aliens and fought them as he learned to fight. With his fists, not guns, from up-close, and as he hit the creature he got infected with an alien virus. It made him quicker, stronger and more aware, but it was too much for his physiology, he was about to die from brain decomposition. The doctors determined that he'd just start to dissolve from the inside out when he reached thirty three. It would take a while, and he didn't want to put his family through all that, he wanted to give them closure, a chance to move on. Unit even planned to try to put him in stasis so he could be cured in the future, but that medicine made his brain burst just few days before our schedule." Jack finished and sighed, he wished at that moment that the story was more uplifting, something with hope in it.

"That plot with onscreen dying sounds familiar, didn't his son died that way?" Ianto frowned.

"You know your heroes" he smiled. "He did, it was just a shame to let a good plan to waste so they used it on Brandon; he inherited the disease, but he didn't wait until he was thirty to engage his plan. He's safely in stasis waiting for the future."

"So you managed to save the son, I bet that his father would like that" Ianto said thoughtfully as Jack parked in front of his building.

Neither of them moved, they sat in silence for few moments.

* * *

><p><em>I've took some liberty with dates of movie releases for purposes of this chapter, all movies mentioned were out in 2008. but Ip Man reached UK in 2009. And if any of Twilight fans is roaming this way, hopefully he'll find usage of it charming. This was dedicated to my sister former Twilight fan :)<em>


	131. Break up scene

_A/N: Some more wrong order in nature of things._

_No spoilers  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>Ianto sat there thinking about the evening. It went well, as Jack said; in fact he felt comfortable enough to just be himself, grumpy and ironic, interested, amazed and unfazed by whatever came to pass. And there was that moment when Jack returned with a Weevil all torn up and covered in blood, it was frightening just how much he was scared for him in that moment. He had just turn in the alley beside him, but then he said that he'd stayed alive just because Ianto had his little outburst that morning and everything in him just unwound. It was like he'd told Ianto he had a claim on him that his word counted. That left him uncontrolled and hungry; he just wanted to press himself into Jack. But then that old lady spoke up and he lifted his control back up. He wasn't really bothered by her, but the moment was gone and was replaced with a lighter mood. The movie left Ianto feeling exposed and raw, it was just overwhelmingly real, so sad but beautiful.<p>

Now he sat there unwilling to pretend and play it casual, but reluctant to take that step and maybe push Jack away.

"So, we will do that dessert thing some other time?" Jack spoke up trying to sound casual.

"Why did you leave me?" Ianto spoke up quietly looking straight forward.

Jack paused for a moment and Ianto could feel how his mood changed, how his mind worked trying to find an easy answer.

"Well I had to find the Doctor..." He started but stopped when Ianto looked at him seriously.

"That is not what I asked. I know that, I understand that, I asked, why did you leave me?" Ianto maintained eye contact; now that he got into it he didn't wanted half answers. "That happened long before you ran off yelling 'Doctor' across the Plass and disappearing into thin air. We had something, not very defined, or discussed, but there was something, and you ended it. Why?"

Jack looked sad for a moment and he looked away like it hurt him. Ianto was always amazed when that happened it was like Jack's carefree front was removed and Ianto could see his deeper emotions.

"Because you started to care" said Jack with a sigh and Ianto frowned.

"Care? I don't understand. I was so detached and undemanding, that wasn't even a relationship it was hardly a fling. Just sex really, nothing was asked of you. How did care come into that, and I never showed any of it." Ianto couldn't help but show his frustration, he really was as withdrawn as possible, if that made Jack run how it would ever work? Nobody could be less burdening than that.

"When I disappeared and you ended up in the hospital you called me countless times, without pause, for hours." Jack looked at the window holding firmly to the steering wheel.

"Sorry for caring, you'd just been trapped underground of some police station, and come to think of it, you probably were just burned alive; really there was nothing to be afraid of. If that is what you're after, sorry I can't do that, I would be worried for my cat if it went missing, I can't care less then that" Ianto pushed the door open and Jack grabbed him by his wrist. His grab was so hard that it bruised Ianto.

"Damn it Ianto" Jack growled "I don't want you to care less, I just didn't want for you to get attached to me. There are so many people that could make you happy; I'm not good at that. I just thought that I've managed to get out in time, before we got in too deep. I'm just..." He trailed off.

"A drifter that can't die and is just passing through" Ianto said quietly and added "just passing time while he's waiting for his Doctor."

"Well yeah" Jack let go of his wrist and Ianto felt aching while he watched the deepness of Jack's sorrow. Jack leaned against the steering wheel. "An accurate description, nothing is left behind a curtain with you Ianto Jones." He smiled sadly.

"What changed?" Ianto asked softly.

"I've changed, years have changed me, running with the Doctor was thrilling and exciting, new horizons, new people, new danger, new suffering, new crazy and new deaths, but I just wasn't so careless like I used to be. Running away just wasn't my suit anymore..." Jack trailed off looking in the distance thinking about the past. Ianto knew this was the moment; he could get out of the car now and Jack wouldn't pursue him. He would accept that as his own loss and move on; Jack knew how to do that.

"But what made you to come back for me, not the team, me" Ianto asked precisely wanting to know the answer, Ianto accepted his own feelings towards Jack, but he wasn't comfortable with the possibility that they were shown. "A few missed calls aren't really much."

Jack turned his head and looked at Ianto with piercing eyes, gazing at him appreciatively.

"You're so beautiful, do you know that?" His smile appeared as Ianto blushed. "Just sex? Hardly a fling? If that is what you do when you don't care, I want to see how it looks when you do care. Come on Ianto you've spoiled me, no one ever took care of me the way you do, not even my wife, deceased, a long time ago" he added quickly. "I know that it started because of Lisa, to cover your tracks, but really. You took care not only of my coffee, meals, clothes, space, time for God sake, not to mention holding my coat all the time, handing me things, doing something before I've thought of it, but you were always there. And all that lasted over a year, you've surrounded me and I must say you looked awfully good at it; always suited up, with the best smile, never any complaint, just ironic comments from time to time that helped steer me in the right direction. And then you added great sex into the mixture, yeah you gave me no reason to come back." Jack finished with irony and Ianto smiled.

"I knew you'd come back for the coffee" Ianto poked him and got out of the car. "Let's make this dessert better."

"Better?" Jack got out of the car. "Five star restaurant, and you'll make their dessert better?"

Ianto rolled his eyes.

"If you like your Palatschinken cold and dry then you can eat them that way."

"No, I wouldn't dream of it, you do your magic" Jack said as he held the door.

* * *

><p><em>Come on reviews are submitted down here, few words aren't so hard to write.<em>


	132. The pumpkin

_A/N: here we go after a short vacation. Jack climbs the stairs._

_No spoilers, not really, just a hint._

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian_

* * *

><p>Jack climbed the stairs behind Ianto thinking about all the things he hadn't said to Ianto; about the missing time. He hadn't lie to him, he just hadn't said that he had only noticed all those things Ianto did for him when they were gone, when he was served with only pain and chains. Before he was chained up he unconsciously counted all the things Ianto did for him and now he had to take care of them alone. He had always done them alone; he was used to it, after all he was a roaming man always on the move, even in his marriage. But then Ianto stepped in and took over without Jack even noticing it, he had done it so naturally, without any demands, and he did them better than Jack ever did. Ianto was right, he didn't demand anything in return, but Jack found himself wanting him to ask for something, wanting for him to need Jack. So in the missing time Jack had spent his time counting the things Ianto would do during the day, and now nobody did them, Jack couldn't, he was strapped up, and he thought how nice they were. It was nice to be pampered throughout the day, but Jack thought more about the things he could do for Ianto in return, to use that extra time he had given him. And after Ianto came to rescue him... well his train of thoughts turned to things he would do to him without clothes.<p>

Jack could never tell any of it to Ianto; it would make things too hard to confess that level of need. He would never burden Ianto with that knowing that he could never deliver as much as Jack needed.

"Sit here" Ianto offered a bar stool by a counter and Jack obeyed him. He watched as Ianto took out a frying pan, butter, chocolate, walnuts. "I could just heat up yours, but I like them stuffed, they always put too little."

"I like stuffed too" Jack grinned and Ianto just glared at him.

"So" Ianto started as he sat across of him "Hector? That is surprisingly modest; I would always guess that you would think of yourself like Achilles."

"No" Jack said raising his palms up "you've talked me through a meal already. Now I'll enjoy my dessert. This looks and smells divine." Jack took a bite. "Oh, and it taste as good. I forgot how delicious food can be."

"Well what did they feed?" Ianto frowned watching him eat.

"You wouldn't believe just how tasteless can meal be, how everything can be ruined just by preparing it. I thought, I'd seen it all, but that was horrible." Jack complained.

"Just how incompetent was the cook?" Ianto inquired further.

"Oh he was very good, the goal was to make an awful meal; it was a torture technique. Luckily I was trained to ignore taste, I could eat almost anything, I ate almost anything; you'd be surprised just what you could eat in right circumstances."

"Something like Bear, he eats pretty awful stuff." Ianto said and explained when Jack gave him blank face. "Of course, you don't watch television, it's a show about a survivor in the wild, I think you'd like it."

"Watching someone eat gruesome stuff, I don't think so." Jack shook his head.

"Bear is hot" Ianto added.

"You could show me sometimes" Jack grinned widely and then looked at his plate. "You've done it again, I ate the whole thing." Ianto smiled tightly.

"Here we can share mine" Ianto pushed forward his untouched plate and Jack placed finger against his lips saying shush.

They ate it in silence and Jack loved every minute of it.

Afterwards Ianto cleaned the counter signalling Jack to stay put. Jack watched him as he moved around the kitchen and found the sight relaxing.

"Coffee? Tea?" Ianto asked.

"Tea has a nice ring to it, and coffee just reminds me too much of the office." Jack mused. "Although I do love your coffee, I remember when I first tasted it. I was already resigning to that awful thing that Owen made. Suzie was too important to do something like that, and Toshiko to absent. In the end we bought it when we could, but that would always get cold and somehow not thick enough."

"You never brew coffee?" Ianto encouraged him to continue.

"No, in my time that was obsolete, something that you could get in pills, sitting while time passes by and drinking something warm wasn't something I would often do." Jack smiled. "But I can make a great lasagne; someone once told me it was the best in the free world. I learned from the source, a great Italian taught me." Whenever Jack would think about him he would get sad, but making lasagne always steered him to think of the good times. Sometimes he was amazed just how young he was back then. "I can make it some time; I haven't made it in years, wonder if I still can?"

Ianto put a note pad and pen in front of Jack.

"What?" Jack was confused.

"Write down the ingredients you need for it and I will get them. We could do that tomorrow."

"Tomorrow" Jack lightened up and started to write down the list, he was surprised just how easily he could remember what he needed. Everything was as he was thought; he only changed the order of ingredients to make the memories less vivid; blood would smear through those letters if he would let himself go too deep in the picture. It was pity really that fear would always get between him and others. Even Gwen watched him with caution, and sometimes distant coldness. He lifted his gaze to Ianto's face. He was reading his list crossing off things he already had in his kitchen. Why was he different, why was he so at ease with him sitting in his chair, in his home? How could he be so unfazed by his defiance to death? Even when they accepted him, people needed some time to adjust to his condition, to overcome their shock. They needed at least a few hours before they would touch him with caution to ensure he was there.

When he died first time in front of Ianto, death that he was aware of, Jack hadn't seen anything but relief on him when he woke up. He hadn't stepped back not even for a split second, on the contrary he grabbed him and dragged him out of the Hub not letting go, supporting him with a tight grip that was broken only when Jack ran off into a new danger. Ianto looked up and caught him staring. Jack was so deep in thought that he didn't manage to find a smile to put on his face. Ianto watched him for a second searching for something on his face. Then he put down the list, went around the counter and took Jack by his hand pulling him up into an embrace. Jack took it. He placed his arms around Ianto's shoulders adjusting himself to the closeness and then he sighed placing his cheek against Ianto's. They just stood there for a moment in silence and without intent the embrace got tighter pressing them together.

After a while Jack found his voice.

"Should I be a gentleman now and leave?" he asked gently stroking his neck and back of his head.

"No, you were gentleman enough tonight" Ianto answered quietly. "Besides, it's past midnight, everything is back to normal."

"You mean to say that my SUV is a pumpkin now?" Jack whispered ghosting his lips over Ianto's neck.

Ianto laughed shortly but was cut off when Jack pressed his lips behind Ianto's ear.

Jack parted his lips and tasted Ianto's skin with tip of his tongue. Ianto shivered in his arms. He tasted bitter and sweet, just how he remembered it. He felt the urge to bite down hard on his skin so he moved away not ready to trust his own instincts, to be sure he wouldn't cross the line and become too rough. After the crude year he had, his emotions were wild and unexpected.

Jack moved his head away so he could see Ianto's face, that he could remember where he was because when he would close them unwelcomed images would come his way. Ianto smiled like he understood and for Jack it wasn't hard to believe that he did.

"Since your ride, sir, has turned into a vegetable" Ianto stroked Jack's back. "I feel obliged to offer you shelter for the evening."

"What" grin sneaked back to Jack's face "you're offering me your couch? I won't mind if I can persuade you to accompany me on it."

"Oh I just couldn't spend one more night on it" Ianto said looking at it with disdain.

"You're telling me that you had a bad time?" Jack raised his eyebrows.

"No, I'm just saying that I love my suits, especially this one."

"It's nice suit, really" Jack took in his appearance. "But I'd hate it if you choose it over me."

"Oh don't worry" Ianto smiled devilishly "You have some advantages over it so I can arrange for you to be let in to my bed, but I have a few rules."

"Rules? I love rules" Jack grinned widely "they can be so beautifully broken, and obeying them is sometimes fun too."

Ianto raised his eyebrow ironically.

"First rule is, in my bed I'm the boss" said Ianto firmly.

"Uh" Jack pursed his lips and moved his hands down Ianto's spine and squeezed him closer "I like that one."

"I'm sure you do" Ianto pushed himself off Jack "but I'm saying that in a lets-take-things-slower way, and the second rule is that you don't use any of your sneaky persuasion techniques to cheat and turn things your way."

"I wouldn't dream of it" Jack let go of Ianto and lifted his hands in surrender, which earned him sceptical look from Ianto. "At least not for the evening" he offered his crooked smile.

Ianto took a deep breath in and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Well... you may be all perfect and fresh, but I'll need a bathroom. Make yourself at home, the bed is there" he opened the door to the bedroom. "I'll be quick." He opened the bathroom door but then he turned around."And Jack... try not to disappear."

"Yes sir" Jack straightened himself up and saluted him. Ianto glared at him and went to the bathroom.

Jack looked around when he was left alone. It was not one of his best romantic outcomes, but with Ianto it was never about the romance and extraordinary. In fact it was always about the ordinary and every day, and Jack loved that. He thought about picking up a book, taking out the wine, dimming the lights, putting on the music, but then he decided to just go to bed. Ianto did establish rules and Jack didn't doubt he'd kick Jack out if he messed around with them. Jack didn't doubt that Ianto wanted him there either, but there were still a few thresholds to be crossed. In a relationship trust is more often the issue than desire. He and Ianto were past desire, that was there, and Jack trusted Ianto with everything he had, but to trust Jack. Jack still hadn't really came to the stage were someone would really trust him.

Jack went into the room looking around. Usually when he would get to the bedroom he was too preoccupied to notice his surroundings, and later on it wouldn't matter anymore because he would be on his way. It was a nice room, it had big closet with mirrors on the doors, Jack liked the mirrors. The only other furniture was a chair in the corner, a small white nightstand, and big bed with chocolate covers all tidy and pressed. Jack grinned widely, imagining Ianto spread across it naked; he tried to imagine the differences in his body, the ones that would show him that time had passed. Then he considered the option of posing himself and greet Ianto that way, but then he decided against it. He knew to recognize when someone withdrew to the bathroom to make dramatic entrance and this wasn't it. Ianto withdrew to ease down the tension, and there was tension between them.

That's why he stripped down to his boxers and t-shirt, leaving his clothes on the chair and crawled under the covers. He covered himself to avoid the accusation that he was using his sneaky techniques. Jack smiled, Ianto did respond well to his sneaky techniques, and he didn't have any doubt that it would be easy to turn Ianto his way just by showing off for a bit. As he stretched out, Jack discovered that he was tired, it was nice to lay down, after all he had been on his feet for almost four days now and it hadn't been a nice couple of nights.

"Jack?" he heard a hint of concern in Ianto's voice, like he really did expect him to vanish.

"In here" Jack called out and Ianto came in wearing black pyjama bottoms and grey t-shirt and Jack growled under his breath. He wanted to climb out of bed and drag him in. His suit was really armour and without it he looked ready for the taking, defenceless. Jack wanted to bite down hard on his shoulder and just devour him.

"Um, right then" Ianto broke eye contact and went back to the living room where he turned out the lights.

* * *

><p><em>AN: So few words about their talk,_

_- the lasagne reference comes from Everyone Says Hello, audio book, and I combine Jack's sentence that he makes great lasagne with past sequence from Miracle day, Angelo was Italian so it looked compatible_

_- talk about TV shows goes with Jack's thoughts in the audio book In the Shadows, when he thinks about watching TV with Ianto  
><em>

_- and Achilles and Hector are characters to Greek epic poem Iliad, or the movie Troy with Brad Pitt :)  
><em>


	133. Frontal attack

_A/N: here is some movements and strategies :)_

_No spoilers  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>Ianto liked having Jack in his apartment, in fact he like it so much that he wanted him there tomorrow too. That was the reason he took the lasagne list, he never was too fond of lasagne; it was strange meal cooked and baked with pasta that would often be like rubber covered in a mushy something. But it sounded like a nice idea that Jack would cook for him, that wasn't sight he would like to miss. So he looked over the ingredients thinking about all the things that were in his kitchen, he would have to buy a baking pan. Ianto lifted his head to ask Jack what kind of pan would he need but he forgot that question when he looked at his face. Maybe if he hadn't enjoyed eating dessert so much Ianto wouldn't be so surprised by the sadness that was on Jack's face. It was so open and deep, it had such a natural place on his features that Ianto wasn't sure Jack was aware of it. Jack looked back at him studying Ianto like he was far away, like he wasn't sitting across the table from him. Ianto went around counter; he wanted to touch him, to show that they are both here in this place, in this time.<p>

Ianto took Jack by his hand and it was so easy to draw him near, his movements were soft and without sharpness. Ianto took Jack by his waist trying to support him, pulling him closer, like he could comfort him, like he could make the Universe a less hostile place. After a while Jack's hands got their grip back and Ianto find himself in a firm embrace, surrounded by Jack, and he felt he could breathe in deeply. Jack's hands were finally there finding their way into Ianto's hair.

"Should I be gentlemen enough now, and leave?" Jack whispered and Ianto felt a short stab of panic that he would leave like this.

"No you were gentleman enough tonight" Ianto answered thinking that it was his turn to take care of Jack, he needed gentleness tonight. "Besides, it's past midnight, everything is back to normal" he added to lighten things up. Jack took the hint and made a pumpkin joke, Ianto laughed from relief but then Jack pressed his lips against Ianto's neck and he found himself trembling from need, he needed Jack to grab him, to press his fingers against his skin until he bruised. Just to make him feel that he was there. But again Jack took a step back, tiptoeing around him and Ianto could see what was had been visible since Jack returned. Jack just wasn't well, he was damaged; his confidence was gone. In Ianto's book of Jack his sexual confidence would be last thing to go. Jack once again studied his face with his hands still; Jack's hands were never still, especially when placed on available skin.

It was definitely time for Ianto to be a gentleman and take charge, so he did. With light banter and gentle circles on Jack's back he got Jack to smile and accept his terms. Soon enough Jack was cocky again and his hands were alive so Ianto pushed himself off him, it was necessary if he wanted to keep control. And control was needed so Jack could relax and be his rogue self.

As soon as Jack accepted the terms of surrender and lifted his hands up, across his face appeared his seductive crooked smile, the best kind, the one that would make Ianto dive in; to prevent that, Ianto took a deep breath to fill his now hungry mouth with air, and shoved his hands in his pockets cutting them off before they could surge in. After that he quickly withdrew into the bathroom, undressing in front of Jack just wasn't something he could do and keep his cool.

In the bathroom Ianto supported himself on the sink and looked in the mirror. `What in hell am I doing` he thought. He striped himself naked and just stood there for a moment feeling exposed, bare and on the edge of running in some sane direction, but then he pictured Jack just outside his door and that feeling disappeared. He wouldn't mind if Jack changed his mind, charged in and lifted him on the sink, he really wouldn't mind the cold tiles.

Ianto smiled to his reflection sadly, he really was a lost cause, he was too far in to consider safe. Truth was that he didn't really think he could handle safe anymore, because he didn't believe that safe was anything but an illusion of those with insufficient information.

He had that illusion of safety inside of his apartment and he could share it with Jack, he sure needed it. With those thoughts Ianto put on his pyjamas. It was better to have some clothes between him and Jack, because without it they would just sink down into lust and need, not that Ianto wanted to avoid that, he just felt that it could get desperate if they lost control.

The living room was empty when he got out and he feared that he had lingered too long and that Jack had fled.

"Jack?" he called out and got a quiet response from the bedroom.

Ianto came to the door and stood there greeted with the sight of Jack in his bed. Only his shoulders in a white t-shirt were seen but it was quite enough. Jack growled looking like he would jump out and in his eyes lust and hunger could be seen, Ianto felt the pull towards him, but instead he looked away and went to switch off the lights. When it was dark he evened out his breathing and went to bed.

"Scoot over" Ianto said in the dark "that's my side."

Jack moved, and Ianto got under the covers feeling the warmth and scent, he felt a tingling sensation in his skin, and his breathing got deeper.

"Is this some twisted way of torture?" Jack whispered in the dark. "To make me lay here and pretend I could sleep beside you."

"You did last night" Ianto answered with a smile.

"Yeah, from exhaustion, and you were fully clothed." He argued.

"I am clothed now too" Ianto countered just to tease him.

"Those are not clothes, I could just blow behind your ear and they would fall off" Jack said firmly and Ianto knew he was right.

"Remember, no sneak attacks" Ianto moved a bit closer.

"But what would I do without them?" Jack growled.

"You agreed" Ianto moved a bit closer, reached out and placed his palm on Jack's abdomen, his muscles tensed for a second but then relaxed as Ianto's hand remained still. "I'm the boss, and I say that you should just lay back and do nothing."

"Nothing? Really?" Ianto now could see Jack as his eyes adjusted to the street light that came through windows.

"Really" Ianto smiled and moved himself leaving just an inch between them. "You should just relax, can you do that?"

Jack laughed shortly.

"Relax is usually my middle name, but lately I was on the move..." he stopped talking as Ianto moved his hand tracing his fingers over Jack's shirt to his chest.

Jack sighed and Ianto traced his way back to the edge of his t-shirt placing his fingers under it. He started to systematically examine Jack's muscles with tips of his fingers. When he would find a place where Jack would involuntarily tense Ianto would lift his shirt and place a kiss to that spot. There were a lot of those kinds of spots on Jack. After a while Jack's breathing evened out and Ianto took his shirt off turning him around to trace a path on his back. Ianto loved his back. When he reached his shoulders Jack seemed relaxed but then he touched his shoulders and he tensed completely and whimpered. Ianto said nothing; he sat up and placed his hands on Jack's shoulder blades waiting for Jack to relax again. Then he started to trace his palms to his shoulders and down his arms. When he reached his wrist Jack growled to his pillow and Ianto paused there for few moments stroking his wrists. When he heard him sigh again Ianto traced his way back up to his hair and then pushed him to turn around.

Jack looked at him in the dark and Ianto couldn't make out his expression so he placed palms to his face tracing its shape. Jack closed his eyes and Ianto placed a kiss to his lips. As soon as their lips met Jack's hands were on Ianto and in a second he was without a shirt that flew to the floor, and in next second he was pulled down towards Jack. When he fell landing flat on Jack's chest Ianto laughed.

"Sneak attack" Ianto said through the laughter. "You cheat."

"I was just bending the rules" Jack said smoothly "you're still on top. If I were breaking the rules, you would be down and pant-less already." With those words Jack moved his hands down Ianto's back and placed his palms on his bottom cupping it. Then he moved slightly aligning their erections together. When that was done he lifted his eyebrows and grinned widely. "Your move Mr. Jones."

Ianto paused for a moment enjoying the sight but he knew that despite Jack's considerable self control, he would soon take charge if Ianto hesitated long enough. That's why Ianto leaned down and kissed edge of that adorable grin and then the edge of his jaw, side of his neck, collarbone. He pushed himself up kissing the middle of his chest and tracing his way down to the edge of his boxer shorts. There he pushed his fingers under the band pushing it down. Jack started to breathe deeply as Ianto exposed his pulsing cock. Ianto smiled widely as he looked at it, he just loved that sight, and was somehow glad to see that it was still in place. It was irrational, but as he kissed Jack all over, in his mind there were flickers of images, unpleasant flickers of pain and hurt, of dying. Ianto moved his fingers between Jack's thighs, but suddenly it seemed too far, too intimate. He knew Jack wouldn't complain, but he had some more adjusting to do before letting go completely. That's why he returned to the hardness of his long and thick erection. As he placed a palm to it Jack moaned arching his back.

Ianto took some time to lightly examine its surface; he never really got a chance to inspect it up close and taste it. Ianto smiled mischievously. Now was good time for light experiments. Ianto always wondered would he like it. To start he licked the top of it and discovered that the taste, slightly bitter and aromatic, was alluring so he swallowed it whole. Well, not whole. He took rest of the length in his fist and started to move adjusting himself towards Jack's sounds, pulsing of veins beneath his fingers and his own likings. Jack put his fingers in Ianto's hair and soon enough Ianto felt his orgasm building up. He considered his options. He could let it lose and finish it on his belly, but it seemed like a shame to let it go, Ianto wanted to feel his release so he flipped his tongue and Jack let go filling Ianto's mouth with warm salty liquid. It was surprising feeling, but after a moment he swallowed it whole deciding that he liked it. He let go of Jack leaving his deflating cock in the air. He looked at it for a moment considering poking it but then Jack grab hold of him and dragged him back up.

"Ianto Jones" he murmured deeply and crashed to his lips turning him to his back and removing his bottoms in one swift move, tossing them aside.

"No sneaky attacks" Ianto said breathlessly.

"No sneaky techniques" Jack corrected him without pause placing himself on top of Ianto "besides there is nothing sneaky about this, it's just a plain frontal attack, no hidden moves." With that he claimed Ianto's mouths again and worked his way down sucking and biting, burying his fingers into Ianto's sides. Ianto couldn't find any breath or will to complain. Just when Jack came an inch from Ianto's now painful erection Jack's phone rang. Jack froze and Ianto whimpered.

"Torchwood sound" said Ianto breathlessly.

"The Rift alarm is quiet" answered Jack to his skin not moving away.

"Maybe it's something that came through earlier" Ianto deadpanned thinking that it would be just his luck to get dragged out in the field in this condition.

"They can handle it alone" Jack leaned his forehead to Ianto's abdomen.

"She'll call again" Ianto sighed resigning to situation knowing that Gwen could come bursting in all blaze and glory when Tosh traced Jack there. That would be a laugh that would never stop. Jack obviously came to the same conclusion and cursing under his breath reached out over Ianto for the phone on the nightstand.

"What?" he growled instead of hello. "Mhm" he listened laying across Ianto and as Gwen's voice spilled out from the speaker he reached down and started to stroke Ianto's length. Ianto held back his moans, and bite down hard on his hand. Ianto thought Jack did it unconsciously but then he leaned in and started to kiss his neck not stopping the movement. Ianto thought he'd scream.

"I'll be there in ten." Jack finished his talk and hung up. Ianto removed his hand and breathed in deeply.

"We, have to go?" His voice was just a bit shaky and he could see Jack smile.

"No, I have to go; you're apparently on a date so you can sleep a bit. Sorry for this, but I don't want to let you be left undone."

"Sorry for what?" Ianto was confused.

"For the lack of time" Jack said and took one more bite to his shoulder. Then he moved down and after that Ianto wasn't really sure what he exactly did, and in which order because it seemed that it all happened at the same time. In one moment everything was normal and in the next he was surrounded. His cock in Jack's mouth, Jack's hand on his buttocks, his fingers inside him moving and sending blinding sensations to his brain, other arm pinching and rubbing all around finding spots Ianto wasn't aware of. In a few seconds Ianto felt like he was drowning, not able to take a breath, he felt like he would burst, but there wasn't space he that could do that. His body arched wildly not able to find release, but then Jack twitched his tongue, pressed his lips, pushed a place inside of him, and stroked his balls and in a second he came violently while his body twitched and his voice produced deep uncontrolled moan. When he calmed down and his breath was back he discovered that he was aching from the force of that orgasm.

Jack let his now soft cock in the air and stroked it fondly for a moment. Ianto could hardly keep his eyes open.

"I hate when I have to do that" Jack murmured "it kills all the fun and play. But I have to run." He jumped up and pulled his boxers up.

Ianto sleepily thought s what a magnificent sight he was.

"Take the key to lock the door" Ianto said turning to his side. "I'm not getting up. If you come back don't ring, just let yourself in and be quiet." With that he dozed to sleep not quite sure he said those last words out loud.

* * *

><p><em>In here I've used Doctor's words that nothing is ever really forgotten.<em>


	134. Invisible scars

_A/N: we see things from Jack's perspective._

_No spoilers  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>Jack was amazed. He stood there for few moments more watching how easily Ianto fell asleep. It was not only sleeping that fascinate him; it was that throwing away all regard, all fences. `Just let yourself in` Ianto said and fell asleep feeling safe enough to let him roam around like he was at home here. Ianto sighed in his sleep and Jack remembered he had to hurry. He moved and without turning on the light he picked up his t-shirt and dressed on the move.<p>

Gwen briefed him on the phone and he had to hurry before the police removed all the evidence. It was a drag to race with time, sometimes they were willing to wait but sometimes they would just clean up and leave, making it hard to determine if anything happened that concerned them. Jack jumped in SUV to meet them by the Hub where the rest of them were expecting him. While he drove Jack felt as if he was on edge, on the verge of dangerous emotions. He couldn't make out which ones, but he felt shaken, out of balance. When he got to Ianto's apartment he didn't expect much, Ianto declared that things would go slow, and he was fine with that. Ianto did keep his part of the bargain; he had kept things slow, slow on the outside. But on the inside Jack felt fear building up. Not in there, not while Ianto did his thing, while it lasted he felt peaceful, safe and in the right place. The fear began when he closed the door behind him with the key in his hand. Fear that this would hurt too much.

When Ianto touched him in the dark in Jack's mind there was a picture of a blade in the other hand stabbing violently and ruthlessly and for a split second he even tensed in anticipation of the blow. Of course he remembered that this was Ianto and he wouldn't do something like that just to see if he would revive again. But like always, he was shaken by the sight. Before he could get over it he felt Ianto's lips pressing to that point where a stab wound would leave a trace if he could keep his scars. He almost cried out at that touch. After that Ianto's fingers traced his skin exploring like he was searching for invisible scars and Jack's body tensed when he got to those places in unconscious expectation that the mark would be there, that he would be exposed. Ianto removed his shirt leaving him bare going with his lips and hands from forgotten mark to invisible scar and during that Jack passed memories of the worst times, and in some strange way he felt as if he was letting go of some of it, returning to the present to find Ianto still there with his soft hands and warm lips on his skin, accepting him. Jack thought he was safe, that he could handle it, but then Ianto reached his shoulders and flashbacks of the Master and hanging from the chains screaming almost made him cry out. He managed to contain it because Ianto made a pause waiting for him to calm down again. But when he returned to the pillow and the smell of Ianto, the touch continued tracing his arms like he remembered, like he knew. Ianto held his wrist where the chains would have been and held it there for awhile. Jack went from the past to present, feeling the steel and pain, and returning to Ianto's gentle touch. Soon enough he stayed in this moment just feeling the tender grip, sweet smell and comfortable dark.

Ianto's hands let go and found their way to his hair. Jack turned around when Ianto encouraged him to do so. He looked up to Ianto's shape that hovered there and Jack knew that only moments passed, but he felt like it took forever. Jack was amazed that Ianto was still there, unchanged. Then Ianto put those hands of his gently to his face, cupping it, taking it whole. He leaned forward and Jack expected him to place his kiss on some of those countless cuts and bruises that weren't there, but instead he placed his lips to Jack's and that had awaken Jack back to the present, to his body, to his need. Without real thought he striped Ianto of his shirt and pulled him down to feel his weight. Ianto laughed and it was wonderful sound, it resonated through Jack's chest. He missed laughter.

Ianto accused him of cheating and Jack grinned satisfied with the weight on him and touch of their naked bellies. If he wanted to break the rules he would surely be safely buried in Ianto and stayed like that for a long while. But he liked how Ianto handled things; it took the edge off his need. That's why he let things slide Ianto's way. He just joined their erections to point in which direction he would like to move things along.

Ianto took his suggestion and soon enough his erection was free of confinement. Oh how Jack loved to be touched, to be wanted. Everything went still and the memories were gone, he just enjoyed what had been given to him. Ianto inspected him with curiosity and caution. Jack smiled in the dark, he knew to recognize lack of skill but he soon got a good grip on things and Jack was on his way. His orgasm wasn't far away but he held it for awhile just to enjoy the sensation. He wanted it to last, but then Ianto's tongue started to move tasting him and he was done. Ianto paused for a second and then he let go of him.

When his cock was back in the air Jack still felt desire building its way back up, he wanted to be connected to Ianto and just be that way for awhile, to feel him.

"Ianto Jones" he said his name with meaning and dragged him up, there was no time left for patience; he had to have him now. In a moment he got rid of excessive clothes and positioned Ianto where he wanted him. Ianto tried to complain, but Jack knew how to handle the rules, to avoid them you had to pay attention.

"There is nothing sneaky about this, it's a plain frontal attack" Jack informed him, he agreed not to be subtle but a blunt attack wasn't mentioned. He didn't give Ianto a chance to argue, he just took his mouth and then he sucked and licked trying to get a taste of Ianto inside of him. He wasn't gentle; his hands were trying to get a strong hold of him, to ground him here, to feel his bones. When he reached that pulsing erection, he was ready for the taking. Jack's cock was twitching with anticipation. But then he heard that inevitable sound of ringing, the sound that meant danger and cold. He held still watching how all his plans were shattering before him.

Ianto spoke up first stating the obvious, but Jack wasn't ready to give in, maybe it was nothing and it would stop ringing any time now. But it continued.

"They can handle it alone" Jack leaned his head on Ianto's skin feeling his lively cock pulse beside him. He wanted to let it pass for once.

"She'll call again" Ianto said what they both knew. Damn Gwen if she'd let him slide after his wonderful vacation away. Jack cursed himself for not turning that damn phone off and reached for it over on Ianto's side.

Gwen's voice came sharp and loud in the darkness and Jack felt like he was all dressed up on the street looking at her sharp face. He reached out and grabbed a hold of Ianto's beautiful erection to stay here, he was still on Ianto and damn him if he let it slide while he ran off into more danger. He started to work on Ianto's length enjoying his hardness. He responded so wonderfully trying to suppress moans. That sound occupied Jack's attention and Gwen's report became background noise, he filed it in his head for later and leaned to taste Ianto's arched neck properly.

Gwen paused asking where he was.

"I'll be there in ten" he said, hung up and stopped his movement. Ianto found his voice and immediately assumed he'd drag him out too. Jack smiled fondly, Ianto was always ready to check in and do what was needed, no questions asked.

"No, I have to go; you're apparently on a date, so you can sleep a bit." Jack said knowing he'd need his sleep and in addition, Jack apologized. He really had no time to waste, although he had to abandon his plans of camping inside of Ianto for few days, he had to take a taste of things. And he wouldn't live up to Ianto's recognition that he was gentlemen enough if he would left him like this to handle things on his own.

There was no time for curtsey or adjustment so Jack just took him without further hesitation. He used his old proven methods and Ianto was over the edge in few seconds. Those methods were usually part of torture and extortion techniques. You'd be surprised how willingly people would spill their guts just to get a release. Pain and pleasure were closely intertwined; there was a fine line between them. On Ianto Jack used only the good parts but he knew that coming so hard would exhaust him enough to sleep it off until morning. And he did fall asleep, but not before he gave him instructions about the door and returning.

* * *

><p><em>Really? You won't review this? What would you review?<em>


	135. Trail of tears

_A/N: Jack decides to go back_

_Spoiler alert: Sleeper  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>While he drove Jack asked Tosh to brief him in, he couldn't recall anything that Gwen said, except her warning that Ianto was on a date, so he shouldn't disturb him. Jack smiled thinking of how he didn't follow through with her instruction but then he got back to Tosh's report. It wouldn't be very convenient if he had to get more details from Owen. When they arrived he left Gwen and Owen with the body and in charge of the hospital, it was in their district, a cop and a doctor. He and Tosh swept the apartment. There wasn't much to tell, no alien tech or Rift spikes, except there wasn't a murder weapon, just an old cricket bat. It seemed like enough to a policeman; Jack hadn't had time, so he just escorted him out with a casual remark to send him on his way.<p>

"Making friends?" Tosh asked curiously.

"Not really" he answered seriously, there wasn't anything implied in mentioning a game of hockey at his home, they used to play it in the Hub, before basketball, before New Year's Eve in the Hub.

Jack crouched down feeling uncomfortable like he hadn't dressed right in his hurry; he felt like his clothes were a size too small. He'd have to adjust that later. He looked around and felt uneasy with the sight, there was nothing extraordinary, but it just didn't fit. That's why he called Owen and instructed him to watch over that robber. He had to shed some light on this before he slipped away into the dark. Jack had those kinds of injuries more than once, and chances of recovery weren't good.

"Home, Tosh?" he asked when they were back in the SUV.

"What, not to the Hub?" she was surprised.

"It's the middle of the night, you should sleep some more, if this is bad as I feel it will, tomorrow there will be more than plenty to do" he charged and rushed through night traffic.

Tosh snorted.

"Whatever is always as bad as it looks" she said looking through the window. "Are you ok Jack, you look... worried, haunted."

"Ah" he shrugged his shoulders "you know me, I always bounce back. Besides the past is just string of memories, something almost forgotten." He said that more seriously than intended, he hated forgetting more than bad memories.

"Or forgotten" Tosh murmured.

"What did you say" Jack frowned.

"It's nothing" she shrugged and smiled sadly "it's just a feeling, like I should be very sad and very happy at the same time. It's crazy but have you ever felt like in just one moment you've passed a life time. There was a moment, recently, I can't point it out, but it just seemed like I was more worried, more closed up, then in just few moments I started to think that I should enjoy life, like it's silly to be closed up all the time. That a horrible thing could happen in a second, and I shouldn't waste time."

Jack smiled fondly.

"My clever Tosh" he said "I know very well what you mean, and it's not crazy at all."

After he left Tosh at her place Jack decided to follow suit, after all he knew better than anyone how short times of peace that were given to them.

Jack followed Ianto's instructions and let himself in and moved quietly as he approached the bed. Ianto was still sleeping like there wasn't body on the car roof, or a bloody corpse inside an apartment, like there weren't threats all around. He was naked, spread across the bed on his belly, just like he had left him. Jack undressed leaving his clothes on the chair but there was no way to get into bed without disturbing Ianto, he occupied the whole thing. He tried to do it gently anyway lifting the covers and sliding in.

"You're cold" Ianto complained moving away.

"It was cold outside" Jack explained lying down.

"You don't have to go away*" Ianto whispered in a singing voice and dragged Jack under his sleepy body. Ianto started to kiss Jack's neck spreading his legs apart and positioning his warm and hard cock just outside Jack's buttocks. He feverishly kissed Jack's chest, neck and jawline and as he moved he rubbed his burning cock with his belly. It didn't take long before Jack was lost to sensation; it took him awhile to respond to Ianto's instruction.

"Bottom drawer on your left" Ianto said not stopping for a moment. Jack searched blindly and found a pack of condoms and a tube of lube.

"We don't need those" he tossed the condoms across the room and Ianto paused looking at him confused "not with me." He added breathlessly and there was a glee in Ianto's eyes before he continued his task without further questions, rubbing his sides and biting his shoulder.

Ianto put out his hand without pause and Jack flipped the tube open and coated his fingers. Ianto reached down and in few swift moves prepared his cock for entry.

"If that's ok?" Ianto checked as he stopped his fingers outside Jack's opening. Jack nodded and closed his eyes as Ianto gently explored him. Soon enough Ianto felt confident enough and entered Jack in one smooth slide. Jack inhaled deeply feeling his insides loosened up. He felt utterly relaxed and safe. Ianto went still and paused there for a while kissing Jack systematically and without rush. Just when Jack felt like he could sleep like this and dream great dreams Ianto started to move in long steady strides setting his pace in even intervals. Jack moaned and groaned, starting to sweat wanting release, but Ianto didn't want any of that. He slapped Jack's hand away when he tried to make things easier.

"My bed, my rules" growled Ianto leaning down to bite his shoulder. "Be patient." With that he lifted Jack's knees to get better access and got even slower leaving Jack's cock on the air, untouched. Jack arched his back when Ianto changed his long movements to short ones, rubbing his sweet spot without pause. When he was almost done Ianto stopped again, panting heavily.

"Don't want you... to get off... so easily" Ianto panted. Then he leaned back towards Jack searching for his lips. "I've missed you" he said with a whisper against his lips before he kissed him fiercely.

As he kissed him back Jack felt warm tears sliding down his temples to his ears. It was too much to sustain that emotion. It was building up the whole evening, maybe even longer, and now it was out in the open. Sex was always the way for him to feel something, but this was deeper than that. He was wanted here and now, wanted as he was, an undying freak of nature.

Ianto reached out to cup his face and he felt the tears under his fingers. He didn't hesitate; he just leaned to the side and kissed it tasting the trail with his tongue; that made Jack sigh giving in completely. It was like Ianto felt that so he started to move again letting go of his knees reaching down to take his cock into a firm grip. It didn't take long, Jack shouted out as he came and Ianto groaned loudly falling down on Jack not caring about the mess.

"Wow" Jack found his voice again "that was..." he discovered he had no words to describe it.

"Yes it was" Ianto murmured back and Jack could feel his smile pressed to Jack's chest. A few moments passed like that in silence before Jack realized Ianto had fallen asleep again on his chest, with his deflating cock still inside him. Jack smiled thinking he would get his dream with Ianto on top of him and inside of him. His only worry was how his semen would dry out and stick them together, it would be painful for at least one of them but it seemed like small price to pay. Jack covered Ianto's back and closed his eyes ready to dream. While he waited for dreams to come he listened to Ianto's breathing, it was a soothing sound and Jack hoped it would keep the nightmares away for the night.

* * *

><p><em>Black sheep wants to keep, her furry fur, not to beep into nothing, and off to sleep, where she dreams, and nothing seems... I have feeling that this is rarely read, but if you are, feel free to continue the verse :)<em>

_*the reference on the song Baby it's Cold Outside, sung by Dean Martin  
><em>


	136. Sleeping beauty

_A/N: Ianto's mussings  
><em>

_Spoilers: Sleeper  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattooedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>Ianto woke up alone. He laid flat on his belly and for a moment he wasn't sure that he hadn't just had a very vivid dream. Then he moved and discovered that he didn't. He hated to fall asleep like that; it would give him difficulties in the bathroom. He sat on the bed rubbing his eyes feeling drowsy. Where was Jack? He knew he was alone by the sound of the apartment; there were no movements in the kitchen or the bathroom. He looked at the night stand; there was no phone or clothes, only a white T-shirt on the floor that proved that he was here last night.<p>

"Jack?" he still spoke up insecurely. Nothing happened and Ianto had to admit that the feeling sucked. Of course he had to dash off. Ianto threw himself to his back and considered his options. He could call and complain, send a message, or pout but all that seemed childish. The only sane option was to dress up and get to work where he would behave professionally. Jack was still the boss after all, and he hadn't done anything wrong. Ianto hadn't really mentioned that he would like for him to stay the night. He didn't know how crappy it felt to wake up alone, after exposing yourself like he did last night. There was no coming back from what he did, he committed himself to Jack. He was just that kind of guy, he didn't know how to make things light and casual, but it would be too much to expect Jack to know that.

The only fair thing Ianto could do was to explain it to Jack, after hours, and then Jack could decide if it was too much for him to handle. Ianto could handle it both ways, and better to know it now than later.

After he cleaned himself up Ianto couldn't resist picking up Jack's shirt from the floor and wearing it. He felt silly and good in it and it made his morning grumpiness go away. He was young, and beautiful, he could act silly for a while; he didn't have to show right away how he felt. In his closet he picked red again, this time a lighter version and matching tie. `Red is your colour` Jack said and Ianto smiled at the memory. It was his luck he dressed up for the office all the time so his better grooming today would pass unnoticed.

"Finally" Owen shouted out when he entered the door "sleeping beauty, everyone beat you to work today."

"Someone turned off my phone" Ianto grumbled looking at Jack's back by the interrogation window.

"Yeah, yeah, you got laid finally, we're all happy for you, but where are my samples?" Owen exclaimed.

"Samples?" Ianto was baffled.

"Yeah, my vomit samples, the vomit you were responsible for, where are my samples? I can't find them anywhere" he desperately looked around.

"But you got nowhere with it, you said that nothing could be salvaged."

"Nothing alien, but the inside liquid of the moving carpet, the one that dissolved people reminded me of one liquid in the human body, vitreous of the eye" he pointed to his eyeball "I thought if I could compare that component to the vomit I could come up with something. Where did you store it?"

"Nowhere" Ianto answered honestly, Jack turned around with a finger on his lips, Ianto rolled his eyes; it was not like he needed reminders on how to cover up traces.

"I know, I know you didn't clean up last night, but where did you put it?"

"I threw it away" Ianto sighed and started the coffee machine.

"In a trash bin?" Owen already started to go through it.

"No in the incineration tube" Ianto said flatly and adjusted Owen's coffee to stronger dose.

"What?" Owen shouted.

"It was vomit, it already had an odour, and everything would be stinky until morning." Ianto poured the mug, he liked his new coffee machine it was big and colourful.

"You bloody clean freak..." Owen started to shout but Jack cut him off placing a hand to his shoulder.

"You're freaking out our prisoner, I want her scared not terrified beyond recognition." He spoke up calmly.

"Yeah, that's why you have her bagged up in the cellar, real comforting pose" Owen snorted.

"We have a prisoner?" Ianto handed Owen's mug to Jack and went to the window. "She has a bag on her head, why?" he looked at Jack quizzically and thought how his face was all serious, and how different he looked than last night.

"Some methods never grow old, ready to be good cop?" Jack asked Gwen who had entered to the main floor.

"That I'm good at" she answered with a smile and winked at Ianto. "Poor sod has spent long enough like that."

"Not that good" Jack frowned "you're on my side, not hers, you have to be firm."

"I know how to do a cross examining Jack" she argued and he just raised his eyebrows sceptically.

"Follow my lead and if you go too soft I'll turn on you too, just play along, do what you're good at, form a bond with her." He instructed her and they were off.

Ianto leaned on the glass waiting, he felt excited, it was like he was in the middle of a crime show, and he loved those. His amusement detached him from the scene, he wasn't involved, just a spectator. The fact he didn't see her face made her a faceless threat, and he wondered how Jack would expose her.

Jack strode in and Ianto's pulse rushed up, he looked like wild animal, all muscles and rage, no hesitation, just motion. When he stripped the bag from her head Ianto couldn't see her, he just saw the muscles of Jack's jaw and he realized he wasn't acting, not really. Those were his true emotions, they were just shown. He was like that all the time, cautious and on the watch, waiting for the danger, waiting for the pain. Ianto held the button and Jack's voice filled the room. Owen and Tosh didn't come near, they were unfazed, preoccupied, and Ianto leaned his forehead on the glass listening, observing, not worrying if anyone saw him.

"Just us, this room, for as long as it takes" Jack said and Ianto believed that he would do it. That he could do unspeakable things and that he knew how to do them. He felt shivers down his spine, it was frightening to imagine that room and that ruthlessness, to imagine himself there... but as soon as he pictured himself there his fear passed, he surprised even himself how profoundly he started to trust Jack. That sentence with Ianto in the scenario took whole other meaning and a string of images.

The interrogation was over quickly faced with utter confusion on that women's face. Jack didn't deliver his threats and Ianto thought that those threats weren't real as they might have been when John Hart was around with Jack. Ianto frowned at that image and his morning feeling of solitude came back.

Jack came up and stood by Ianto looking at the woman. Ianto leaned on the glass facing towards him, noticing his grey t-shirt on Jack; it was an intimate detail, proof of last night. The woman down there proved Jack had a cause to go so Ianto decided to loosen Jack up a bit, he was far too serious. That's why he shared his insights on the interrogation. For a brief moment Jack looked real again, woundable and insecure.

"Really?" he asked not sure if he was joking with him. "You don't look scared."

Ianto looked away thinking of the images that replaced fear.

"It passed" he said and Jack growled threatening him with his fist.

Ianto considered that joke great success, he felt good teasing Jack and his feelings were evened out by that feeling, so he continued with the banter. He didn't have to try too hard, he just had to relax and say what was on his mind.

* * *

><p><em>As promised another poem instead of review plead:<em>

_because I was told  
>that I was bold<br>I have sold  
>my untold words<br>like unseen birds  
>now I wonder<br>silently_


	137. Black coffee

_A/N: Jack faces few difficulties and some strong blended coffee  
><em>

_Spoiler alert: Sleeper  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>Jack's awakening wasn't so great; he was barely asleep when his phone started to vibrate. He was clever enough this time to turn off the ring but the vibrations woke him in a split second. In a half sleep the vibration made him think he was riding an armed bomb through the air. As he awoke, he rushed to tap his wrist strap to beam him to safety but his arm was jammed by a heavy body. His eyes snapped open with an image of a pile of still warm dead bodies on top of him, he was covered in sweat looking at the ceiling; it wasn't the greatest of moments to climb out of a mass grave. He started to breathe again, this wasn't it, this body was alive; Jack inhaled his smell and finally got his bearings. Ianto was sleeping on top of him after night of sex and tears. Sadly that was more unusual to Jack than a pile of bodies. Not the sex part, emotional part.<p>

Luckily his new phone continued to vibrate so he didn't have to think about it. He could just reach for it and speak, waking up Ianto but that would demand him to find his way through the morning, and he was no good at mornings. Especially intimate mornings, he would just ruin it by being his casual self, and this with Ianto was intimate. That's why he wiggled under Ianto; he perfected the art of untangling himself from another naked body; he could get out of a Gordian knot of bodies without disturbing anyone. It was a skill and he used it many times, he even got out of an execution with that technique, his last request was a small orgy.

Ianto was using him as a bed so he had to slip to the floor without moving Ianto. He was faced with difficulty when he moved and realized that he was glued to Ianto by his own semen, and dry semen held skin tight as hell, especially delicate one. He wasn't so much worried about getting hurt, he got that all the time, and he wouldn't die from a simple bruise, he worried that it would wake up Ianto. It wouldn't be best of moments with Jack half out of bed with one foot on the floor; talking about awkward mornings. It's easy to explain your departure if an explanation was needed when the phone was ringing, but to be caught in the middle of running out of bed was just plain bad, it always ended with something being thrown and crashing against the wall.

He had to decide fast because sleep was a tricky thing; Ianto could at any second turn from a deep sleep to a lighter one, so he placed a palm to Ianto's abdomen to give his skin an additional advantage and pulled. He bite down a scream and slipped to the floor. He looked down expecting to be without his member, but it was still there, there was nothing to be seen, but the sucker hurt like hell. He noted to himself not to do that again, get glued, not getting out.

Jack picked up his still vibrating phone and clothes from the chair.

"Yes" he whispered in the phone.

"She killed them Jack" Gwen sounded shaken.

"I'll be there in ten, don't go after her alone" he whispered dressing on the way.

"Jack where are you?" she sounded curious. "What's with your voice?"

"Nothing, wait there and call Owen and Tosh, they should meet us in the Hub." He hung up shaking his head.

"Wouldn't you like to know" he murmured as he exited Ianto's flat with his boots in hand. An old neighbour looked at him suspiciously so Jack smiled and without even noticing it he locked Ianto's apartment with a spare key that Ianto usually held in the door. After he put his boots on he rushed down the stairs with his coat over his arm. As he walked, he searched for the key to the SUV and the key in his hand got in his way so he put it on his keychain. He had done it not registering that he put Ianto's key to his own ring.

By the SUV he took a moment to put his coat on and to tie his boots. Damn clothes, they were choking him again, he must have put his t-shirt on backwards like before.

Gwen greeted him with a sceptical sweep of his appearance but said nothing. They got their suspect back to the Hub and there he discovered that his damn cock hurt in unexpected moments when he moved around, he wished for a pair of briefs instead of boxers. Just as he thought that, Ianto entered and Jack focused on the woman with the bag on her head, he would have remembered to remove it if he hadn't been so distracted, but maybe it would prove useful. Mistakes could often be creatively used.

"Someone turned my phone off" Jack could clearly hear Ianto but he hadn't done anything of the sort, it would be clever, but cock problems made him run, not think.

Of course Owen had a brilliant idea during the night. That made Jack smile, he loved when his people were their best, but he loved it even more when he got to prevent them from screwing up brilliantly. Jack decided it was a good moment to turn around and offer Ianto that understanding smile and gratitude that he was taking Owen's shit, but as he turned his cock rubbed against his pants in a long stride and his smile was replaced by tight suppression of pain. He placed a finger to his lips to prevent his face of flinching. Ianto rolled his eyes at him; it wasn't a good start, he had to be careful, or Ianto would get an urge to have a `talk`. Luckily his discomfort was short lived so he approached closer and stopped Owen short of really insulting Ianto.

Ianto gave him his coffee, and showed interest in their case, those were good signs so Jack drank his coffee speaking to Gwen, he frowned. Maybe he was too optimistic; coffee was bitter as hell, without sugar or cream and extra strong*. Well there wasn't a better way to tell to Jack that Ianto could make his life hell if he wanted to, and he didn't even have to talk to do it. Jack drank coffee just for the flavour of it; he didn't like it strong because he was already all wired up with life energy, caffeine just made him all over the place. He placed the mug on the sink pouring it down the drain and went down.

With the caffeine boost, his discomfort, and an emotional outburst, Jack didn't trust himself to know the limit. He didn't like to cross that limit. For him, limit meant that on the one side there was the Doctor, Rose, and Martha who would never inflict pain even if threatened, and on the other side there were Cybermen, Daleks, Sontarns and every other soulless creature that didn't care about pain. Jack was dancing in the middle of it whole his life, and lately, because of the Doctor he tried to stay on his side, but he wasn't sure of himself, that he would always know in which direction that was.

He was calm facing the woman's scared face, but she was so convincing he started to fear that she was far worse than he could handle, so he raised his voice leaning forward, and he could feel the steel climbing up his spine to make him cold. You had to be cold to endure torture, no matter which side of the table you were on. But then Gwen called out his name and he withdrew. He was shaken by how easily he could slip back into that persona so he got out, searching for some sanity.

Up on the main floor Owen and Tosh were preoccupied by their scans and results. By the glass was Ianto, for a change he wasn't rushing between chores, he just stood there looking at Gwen and the woman who was too convincing. Jack approached him just to stand beside him, to absorb some sanity, because Ianto could find his bearings in the worst situations.

"Shivers down my spine" said Ianto seriously about Jack being scary. Jack knew how scary he could become, he had seen fear of him in many eyes, even his wife's, but there was none of that on Ianto's face.

"You don't look scared" Jack said hopefully.

Ianto looked away like he was searching for that fear in his personal database.

"It passed" he said and Jack realized he was only joking with him so he growled threatening him with his fist just for show. Ianto didn't even flinch.

Jack got back to solving their problem, if Ianto didn't see the monster within him that meant he hadn't crossed the line, he was on the right track.

* * *

><p><em>*There's been a coffee issue, I just want to point out that Jack got Owen's coffee, and I think Owen drinks his coffee so strong that spoon could stand upright in it, and I'm just saying that Jack isn't too crazy about caffeine, he loves coffee :)<em>

_reviews are cool  
>like raging bull<br>that entertanis the crowd  
>who's never too loud<em>


	138. For good

_A/N: Hi, so back from a vacation and to Tosh, to see a bit into her mind_

_Spoilers: Sleeper  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattooedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>Tosh thought that Jack looked different since he'd been back. In fact she thought everything looked different, including her, everything except Ianto. Sure he looked a bit older, but same as ever. She wondered how he managed to stay below for so long, to maintain his level of manual tasks. After she initiated him in the field, he started to go out with them, but still he stayed behind, unnoticed. It was deliberate, she concluded and decided against chasing after Owen and Gwen in a futile attempt to make them notice and acknowledge him. Instead she started to give him tasks, tasks in her department, technical ones, and he never failed in either of them. That's how she got around to assigning him to hard wire the rift manipulator; he fixed everything else; so she saw no reason not to trust him with that.<p>

He did not fail. In the middle of alien threat, nuclear war, and invasion, he still managed to do his chores in time and neatly. She was truly amazed.

"Job well done Ianto" she said surprised and he just shrugged his shoulders.

"Ianto always gets his job well done" Jack said in passing with his hands in his pockets, and raised eyebrows. He didn't stop to see what job, he just carried on. In that moment Tosh was glad he was back, he always knew how to appreciate invisible like her and Ianto. As she turned she noticed a touch of pink on Ianto's cheeks. Was the appraisal the thing he was afraid of or was it just an old crush on Jack still surfacing?

"If that is all..." Ianto said and picked up her mug turning to leave.

"You could ask Jack for promotion" she said out loud "he would give one to you, you're more than capable."

Ianto turned to her confused.

"Promotion into what exactly?" he asked confused. "I already get interesting tasks, the only promotion would be to stop doing the chores, but then who would do them? We would be flooded with mess in a day if I stopped."

"I didn't mean to offend you" Tosh jumped in to explain but Ianto smiled.

"No, you're just being thoughtful, don't worry, I get everything done, and this way I can work in a more or less" he looked around "clean space, but I can't compete with Owen's affection to mess."

Tosh felt guilty looking at her crowded work space and Ianto walked away.

"Besides, you would starve if I quit" he added by the door.

"Quit?" Owen turned around confused suddenly pulled out of his work. "Why would Tea-boy quit? We don't have enough of Retcon to make him forget, he's like elephant."

"We didn't talk about work" Tosh turned to her station. "Pay attention if you want to know."

"Nah" Owen answered and she could hear a smile in his voice, she smiled to her computer too.

It was a wonder to Toshiko how her relationship to Owen had changed with everything else. She was so desperately devoted and invisible to him last year. She didn't even notice when that happened, one day she looked at him and realized he was just perfect for her, she just understood everything about him, and he couldn't say anything that could really hurt her. But looking at him with women that clearly weren't fit for him and would only drag him further down his self-pity hole was something else; that could make her mad. Looking into their minds didn't help either.

Now, after everything changed she could look at him and smile, she could tell him anything. She just wasn't so clingy to the thought of them together. It would be good, but if he's not up for good, she would think of something else. That's how she confessed to him that she'd been trying to ask him out for ages. It wasn't intended to be invitation, just a statement that it happened, and recognition that she had tried. He surprised her with his acceptance, it was a nice surprise, one she would like to see happen. She was intrigued by the possibility of seeing if she was right about them, but she was not in a hurry to get there, because she knew Owen. She could clearly see that he just was not there yet. He was entertained by the thought of a steady and reliable woman, which she was, but he wasn't ready to take a leap, to risk the chance that it may work. In the mean time she wasn't bothered by that anymore, she lived her life beside him without desperation.

There was even a moment, when they stood by the radio to see if everything would go to hell, when he suggested sex, not only to her, but to Ianto too and she looked at him with total lack of attraction. Like she would if the world was burning engage in such act; for her sex was private thing that meant emotion, not just exchange of body fluids. In that moment she agreed with Ianto, the end of the world got worse with that image. Luckily she dismissed it just like a superficial prank. Besides shooting down that woman/alien erased everything else. In some ways it was worse than an alien threat in human suits, it was clearly dangerous, but a known obvious threat. That woman was different; she looked and felt real despite her alien arm, she looked defenceless. It was never easy to kill a woman. "Woman and children first" echoed in Tosh's head voice from the past as their ship was sinking. Despite all the changes in gender and equality it was always harder to kill a woman in ordinary clothes. It must be horrifying to kill a child. She got chills by the thought of it. She wasn't sure she could do it if the world depended on it.

* * *

><p><em>so...<em>


	139. Ordinary

_A/N: a bit from Gwen to clear her point of view_

_Spoilers: Sleeper  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>Gwen was upset. Beth was dead and there was nothing she could do about it. There was no one to be blamed. It was just outright unfair. She couldn't imagine being built like that, to have all the emotions and memories and to be a fake, an image, something someone constructed; but not only that, but to be constructed to destroy the things you love. It was sickening to clean up the mess when everything was done. After Beth there was nothing to cover up, nothing was left after her husband died, he was all she really had, and everything else was just made up memories. But after others there were abandoned babies, dead wives, and empty lives.<p>

Problem was she really liked Beth; they were alike: ordinary, with their ordinary expectations. Not like Jack who was bigger than life. She watched how he held that alien down by stabbing himself on his arm, but she hadn't had a time to even notice that, to register his pain. It was ordinary for her, it was simply Jack. After he got back she wondered why she had missed him so much. When he was gone she was so mad at him because he looked like an absent hero, someone she couldn't live without. Not like a maddening sadness like when her Rhys was gone, but an irritating absence of something she'd gotten used to. It was funny really, that her ordinary Rhys could invoke such strong feelings, because she had cheated on him, and he probably did on her because she was always on the verge of leaving him. They fought more than they made up, and he was loud and dull most of the time. But still she went on towards marrying him.

She was doubtful all the time; did she get it right, was it just a habit, should she get more? It was amplified by Jack's return and his behaviour. There was a moment when she told him about the wedding and she paused waiting; would he make a move, would he show that he wanted her, that there was something between them. But as always he backed down returning to his ordinary self. She wondered from time to time what would she say; would she accept him? What would that look like? She couldn't really picture it, but then again she couldn't picture herself turning him down. He had such greatness; she doubted anything would be ordinary with him, but then again... After a mad day like this, where ordinary was predatory and alien she would like to go home to Rhys who was real, not made up. She knew his parents, and knew where he'd gotten some of his annoying habits, she knew his friends whom she could easily despise and gossip. And he knew hers and despised them in return; she could always rely on him to be his ordinary self without hidden knowledge or depths.

She was glad Jack had returned and with the alien invasion postponed, she stopped to be mad at him for leaving. He returned in time and they were able to divert creatures that came while he was away. Maybe he planned it that way, who knew what he could predict or tell about the future. She had no great desire to really know, she only wanted to know what was he up to while he was away, what was so important; but maybe it wasn't for her to know, maybe was just for her to trust him.

It was good really that she got the chance to peek into his secret life, that sneak peek gave her the perspective that she should mind her own business. When she called him, twice that night, she got to hear background noise of sighs and moans, and his whispers, his messed up clothes, and she knew he wasn't sleeping alone, or in that fact sleeping at all. She could imagine him being interrupted in some small orgy, or something twisted and she had no desire to participate in that, or stand in line, for that matter. No, she wanted someone to fall down too when something crappy like today happened. Rhys was there, not asking questions, just talking himself away, and she even managed to smile at him.


	140. Covered tracks

_A/N: Here is some Owen, I couldn't skip him, he's quite lovable for me._

_Spoilers: Sleeper  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>Owen was not listening. He was composing himself. Dissecting Beth wasn't his best moment. He had become much calmer lately. He didn't know just how much until Jack came back. Jack reminded him of the time before he shot him, of the anger building up, of that energy that couldn't be released. Shooting Jack allowed him to do that, to release his anger to the limit, he became as bad as he could without terrifying himself. He was terrified when Jack went down and that was the line he wasn't willing to cross or approach one more time. There were a reasons he was a doctor, and he was in Torchwood, and they weren't to hurt people.<p>

That's how Jack became his limit, something to measure his position against. He was so calm when Jack walked in, there was no more anger; he only wanted to know if he was fixed. Jack shrugged his question off with a weak joke and Owen finally saw into him, he saw the place Jack was weak and hurt, he saw where he put his sorrows to get them out of the way. And that was ok with Owen, it made Jack bearable. He discovered that knowing why there never was a need to stitch Jack up and it made easier to handle Jack. Because he wasn't untouchable, he got hurt; only he got to stitch up himself.

When he got used to having Jack back he felt his spine loosening up a bit, he wasn't sorry to see responsibility go. He thought he could do so much, but he lost that illusion and got back to saving lives, to stitching a wound and pumping a heart back to life. He was all big and strong in front of Gwen and Tosh but that blow fish was right about his hands full of blood; he did choose to save before killing. It wasn't a great advantage for the defender against alien threats. Jack could kill, Owen knew that, Owen had despised that earlier, but now he appreciated that he was willing to make those decisions.

"We couldn't take that chance" Owen told to Gwen when Beth was down and he knew he was right, they protected Gwen. It was their job to protect her, but it didn't make Beth any less dead. The fact that she helped them even after she knew she wasn't one of them just made it worse. She was a patient of his and his abilities as a doctor were challenged to find a way around her alien self. Success in doing so made her sacrifice even worse.

Tosh's voice snapped him out of his musings. She was still there. Her voice went into alarm mode and that made Owen pay attention but it was only some stuff about messes and cleaning between her and Tea-boy so he lost interest.

"Besides, you would starve if I quit" Ianto said louder and got Owen's attention back.

"Quit? Why would Tea-boy quit?" Owen turned around worried. "We don't have enough of Retcon to make him forget, he's like elephant." He added to cover up his concern, Owen had no illusions that things would be easier without Ianto to put down.

"We weren't talking about work. Pay attention if you want to know." Tosh turned her back on him and he smiled at her. He loved when she was snappy.

"Nah" Owen decided that he was done with cleaning his instruments and that it was time for some gaming on the computer to clear his mind. He'd been thinking too much.

But as the game got started he couldn't help but think some more. The thing that lingered in the back of his mind wasn't his calmer self, which he understood and could trace how it came to be. It puzzled him how it happened that he changed his mind about the Tea-boy. He wasn't malicious or lying when he fought with him for the Rift controls but he did think of him just as a Tea-boy, someone that ran Jack's errands. Even when it turned out that he was right about them shagging from time to time, it didn't improve his opinion of Ianto. Sure he went out with him to check his state of mind because Tosh asked him to, and they had the near Mountholder experience, but even that didn't change his mind. He remembered it clearly. Going out just confirmed what Ianto was going through, much like Owen's 'must-have-sex' phase to forget his girlfriend died, only he didn't stop at women to do so. And that Moving Head thing just showed that he wasn't crap in the field and that they could use him.

It wasn't that he disliked Tea-boy that much, he just didn't think very highly of him and his capabilities. He thought Jack kept him around because he looked good in a suit. After Jack was gone Ianto kept doing what he always did without big acts and one could sometimes forget he was there. In the Himalayas he brought their food and took care of things, but there wasn't much of an opportunity to make a mark, to prove himself there. Still when they were back Owen discovered that when he looked at Ianto he saw him differently. Like there was something he owed Ianto, but there was nothing there. That irritated Owen, that blank spot. He would like that Ianto remained the same in his eyes, small and unimportant, someone just to ignore. But there it was, he became someone to respect and Owen had no clue why it was so.

Even after day like this he had to wonder where Ianto found his cojones. There was nothing of the blushing timid Tea-boy. He just stood there contradicting Jack and calmly bringing up his manners in bed. Owen never thought he'd see the day Jack shushed someone to save himself from embarrassment. Ianto never spoke about Jack, even when they questioned him, and Owen thought he'd just withdraw when faced with Jack. But instead he just acted freely. It seemed to Owen he wanted to put their dear old captain in his place. Owen smiled; he liked the thought that Ianto could hold something against Jack.

"What are you smiling at?" Tosh spoke up looking at him from her station.

"Oh, just thinking how it is nice to hold some piece of dirt on your ex, to ensure they respect you later on." Owen was frank with her, he always was.

"Didn't think you were the type to demand respect" she smiled softly.

"What? I don't deserve respect?" Owen rose his voice pouting.

Tosh just smiled and turned back to her computer. Owen watched her profile for a bit longer.

That wanker John Hart, which he would kill on spot if he was different man, was right about one thing. Tosh was brains and beauty. Owen always knew that, but she wasn't kind of a woman you could pursue just to mess up some sheets. She was loyal and serious. Owen could bet that date he agreed upon would turn out great. She loved his wit, and he loved her smile, it was hard not to love it. But that was the reason he hesitated in doing it. Tosh was here all the time, throughout his drunkenness, womanizing, anger, rudeness, always polite and ready to step in, to cover his tracks. She was the presence a few feet away that made him less alone even when he wasn't aware of it. Gwen made him feel alone as hell; even now there was always that guilt of hers between them. It pissed him off, but he knew it would be like that, he ensured that everything went there.

He was expert in messing things up. He hesitated to mess Tosh up so he continued like before and she let him. It was beautiful actually that she could do that.

In a sense Owen was satisfied to be where he was. It didn't seem to him anymore that the future was something great you should run to.


	141. Stains

_A/N: Ianto's turn. We're approaching 100th review, yey, and 500th page, so it's a biggie for me. Thnx for reading, reviewing, and hopefully enjoying.  
><em>

_Spoilers: Sleeper  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>Ianto felt like running. He felt trapped inside of the Hub. That never happened to him before. The morning began with grumpiness, he tried to fight it, but it was in vain.<p>

When he arrived and talked to Jack he decided to go easy on him, keep it light, and not insist on confrontation and talking. So he kept a light banter poking Jack, but after he didn't respond with anything but seriousness, that mood disappeared and was replaced by defiance. It was childish but he didn't want to let him pass just like that.

Ianto couldn't believe when Owen and Jack decided to drag out that device for extracting memories. He would never do that. Not only did he have to scrub alien insides from the walls and the stench lasted for days, but it was such an ugly way to die. Even that talkative, jumpy, aggressive alien didn't deserve that. Ianto rolled out the chair. Tosh mentioned they decided not to use it. Jack dismissed her with simple denial about it being just a mind probe. Ianto couldn't just let it pass.

"Remember what happened the last time when we used it?" He addressed Jack directly.

"That was different, that alien had extremely high blood pressure" Jack answered raising his voice agitated by Ianto to that point.

"Oh right" Ianto dismissed few answers one of which was to just yell at him "their heads must explode all the time." He said flatly and Gwen almost choked. Jack reassured her and she rushed off to get the woman and that rose in Ianto an uncomfortable feeling of déjà vu. Lisa wouldn't have been treated differently.

Ianto sat in that chair to see how it felt.

"Stop at first sign of trouble" Tosh said pretending that they could control it.

"Or the first sign of exploding" said Ianto remembering how last time everything went to shit in just a few seconds, there were no chance to react in time.

The chair felt like an electric chair so he acted like it. Once again Jack warned him off and he got up to get some water. Before the other alien exploded, his perspiration increased; maybe water would make it easier on Beth.

Beth sat in the chair and Ianto took a place behind her to be at minimum risk of being caught in the explosion. The last time he hadn't so careful, his favourite suit was ruined. Gwen stood in perfect position to be splattered all over.

"You're bedside manners are rubbish" Beth said to Jack and Ianto had to admire her perseverance, to joke while in a position like that.

"You should see his manners in bed" Gwen blurted out and Ianto got worried for a second. "He's atrocious, apparently, or so I've heard." She tried to find her way out of that one and Jack just watched her drowning in awkwardness, and Ianto had such a good follow up to that thought.

"Well they are. I remember that one time..." Ianto started.

Jack cut him off clearing his throat and he stopped. Of course he wouldn't let Ianto talk. It was innocent really, what Ianto was about to say. He meant to say about the Chinese food Jack ate in bed and the stained sheets, he wouldn't have mention that he ate it too, or that the stains weren't from the food. But apparently Jack didn't trust him enough to let him finish.

Beth's head didn't explode and it turned out that Jack had made a good decision. Her hand turned out to be an alien transmitter, and she was a sleeper agent. After that things went to shit fast and Jack was off on the field with an incoming alien invasion on his hands. Of course there were nothing for Ianto to do, or anywhere he could run to, so he got back to fixing the Rift manipulator. His hands were working but it wasn't enough, his mind became more and more agitated as the silent minutes went by.

Owen's arguing with Tosh snapped him out of it. The little doctor was so irritating, he just couldn't stand helplessness.

"I can't hook something up" Tosh was losing her patience. "The entire telephone network is down." She spelled it out for him but Ianto could see that Owen was not hearing her so he stepped in just to shut him up.

"Mobiles, land lines, little tin cans with bits of strings, everything, absolutely everything. No phones, phones are all broken. Hello is anyone there" he even mimed for him. "No, because phone's not working."

But Owen kept going.

"There's no way of getting in touch with Jack, no way." Tosh got in his face and just at that moment Jack's voice echoed throughout the Hub. Of course he managed to produce a solution that would keep him on his feet and running, no helplessness for him.

Ianto felt huge relief from hearing his voice, but he was still irritated by his lithe tone.

"Come on" he said cheerful over the radio trying to stop the questions "with a dashing hero like me, how could we fail?" Ianto could picture him as he was saying that with a smile.

"He is dashing" Ianto said seriously "you have to give him that." No amount of anger could erase that.

Now there were no chance for even doing something with his hands when there was a connection with him and his voice spilled out offering reassurance and signs that he was still out there. That's why Ianto stood there feeling anxiety rising in his chest as they approached the nuclear base.

Apparently Owen hadn't felt any better.

"Let's all have sex" he said and Ianto looked up in desperation because his mind created that image instantly.

"And I thought the end of the world couldn't get any worse" he said out loud knowing that when his mind created an image it could never be erased. The image that Owen put there wasn't pleasant one.


	142. Mind probe

_A/N: a bit from Jack, he's got his priorities straight :)_

_Spoilers: Sleeper  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>Ianto was in foul mood. Usually Jack would have done something about that and avoided consequences of that mood but there were too many things going on. Not the smallest of them was an oncoming invasion, and his dick hurt which didn't help matters any.<p>

It was frightening to see that sleeper agent so calm and innocent sitting right in front of him. He felt the urge to just kill her off on the spot but he couldn't afford to act so rashly. The others would never understand his certainty; he knew undoubtedly that she was sleeper. His gut told him in the apartment without weapon, but he was sure when he looked at those unconscious eyes. Seeing how the needles and the knife broke was just confirmation.

Jack ordered the team to drag out the mind probe. He was nervous in doing so and it may prove to be useless, then he would never find out how close the invasion was. After the Master experience he wasn't even remotely amused by a chance of an enslaved Earth, it was too vivid in his mind. That's why he carried on even after Tosh and Ianto, his most quiet team members, spoke up against it. Like he didn't remember his bad decision in trying to get something out of that damn Latious dressed up in human tissue.

"That species had extremely high blood pressure" he answered Ianto annoyed, Ianto was the last person he would expect to have a hard time accepting his leadership again.

"Oh, right" Ianto just couldn't let it pass "their heads must explode all the time." He said and Jack decided not to address to him anymore, there were more pressing matters than explaining the safety trigger that Latious' had installed in them. It was like a natural cyanide in the tooth thing; they would explode when someone tried to penetrate their mind. Considering that their natural predators were creatures that haunted with illusion and telepathic deception, it was a good defence. At least when they weren't dressed up as humans, their natural shape would just blow and fly away. Jack didn't expect that they would detect the mind probe as telepathic attack, he was wrong.

Jack sent Gwen to get Beth; he had been more than an understanding leader today; considering that he would like nothing more than to just set them in straight in line, obeying him without all that chatter.

"Hey" Jack warned Ianto off when he started to shake in the chair. If he continued to act like that Jack would have to initiate their talk, and it would be about work behaviour. It was something he hadn't done before, it could prove to be interesting... but then Beth came in and Jack lost his short lived sense of humour.

Jack informed her on what to expect. He thought it was the best he could do for her, he was honest. He hated when someone would soften expectations just to hit him with pain. Beth didn't appreciate that, it would hard for her to do so; it took experience to know the fine lines of pain and expectations. Gwen continued her mention of the bed and Jack was lost for a moment, what was he here; boss or a gossip centre. Then to his horror Ianto spoke up and Jack had to cut him off. Jack didn't look in his direction. He would have to have that talk with him. It was one thing to be perceived as the play boy of the day, it was flattering to a point, but it was another to be revealed personally. Jack still hadn't felt at ease with what had been going on between him and Ianto and he wasn't sure he would get any more relaxed about it.

Then Beth asked what his task is and that returned him to the moment.

"I'll be watching" Jack told her the partial truth. He was watching, watching to know when to kill, when to shoot, but her human persona didn't need to know that. Jack almost felt sorry for that human persona, but he had to stay cold, detached, because none of them could.

The mind probe did its job and Jack stayed stern asking to go further in until finally her real, cold, soldier persona emerged out from its sleep just to give them serial numbers. Jack looked at her in horror knowing exactly what he was looking at, he didn't look away, but he didn't shoot either. There were more pressing matters than just killing one soldier. He had to discover the others and their plans. Damn him if he'd let them destroy everything now that he finally got back to Earth to stay.

* * *

><p><em>Please do review :)<em>


	143. Too far

_A/N: yey, 100 th review breached, thnx to jeanie17, paulaloveremus and others for that achievement. Thx others too for reading.  
><em>

_Spoilers: Sleeper  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>For all the damn side effects of dying he would at least get out clean, un-bruised, and restored. It was a horrible experience from every angle, from dying to reviving, but when it was over nothing would ache. He didn't die from that stab wound, it bypassed his heart, it was only the pain and hard breathing, but he survived. His damn body did repair itself when it was done, at least it repaired that stab wound; he still felt bruised around the missing wound. His cock was better, but all and all he was far from perfect condition. He hadn't even realized how used to he'd gotten to his perfect factory settings because they were restored often enough.<p>

Jack decided he had no right to complain. The cell was neutralized, invasion postponed, and the threat that they are already might just a plain desperate seeding of fear. And they still didn't know about Jack and Torchwood. It was a good win after all. Even the agent Beth was on their side, they could use her later.

Preparations for Beth's freezing were underway. Jack thought about the talk he should have with Ianto, but he forgot what it was about. As adrenalin and fear left him so did his serious attitude that demanded obedience. Still it bugged him, their defiance. It was the very thing that brought rebellion on their part upon him. That's why he insisted on making Tosh obey his order. It wasn't easy one, but he knew it was important one. Beth would agree, so he didn't see why Tosh had a problem with it. Beth was strong enough to know she should be shot down if she turned; and observant enough to know he would do it for her and for the others. That's why he couldn't get close to understand Tosh's defiance in his order to install safety protocols that would kill Beth in her sleep if her transmitter started to wake up. She argued that it could be triggered by mistake; and earthquake, a fluctuation in her temperature, she knew a lot about cryo-freezing. Jack listened to her as he changed his t-shirt that was strangely grey. Why was it grey? He couldn't pinpoint it, he was preoccupied by Tosh.

"Stop thinking" he said irritated "and do it, it's an order."

"Ok" she turned to leave "I'll do it but I'm not happy about it."

Jack shook his head towards her back, puzzled by her thought. His concern wasn't to keep them happy; it was enough for them to do what they were told. Then he lifted his head just in time to see new trouble approaching in the form of Ianto. He was carrying tape and an antenna in his hands and his lips tightened in an angry line. Through Jack's head went list of things that could follow the simple disapproval of his handling that mirror and he turned to leave. No thank you, he wouldn't have that talk, not on Ianto's terms with him holding upper hand and he especially wouldn't have it here in front of everybody. That's why he turned into the corridor towards the board room but he didn't get far, Ianto followed him.

"Jack" he called out and Jack stopped, deciding against running. He was a fighter after all, and he had some things of his own he could reproach Ianto in return. He'd be fine; he just had to keep it all business and away from personal.

Ianto stopped, looked him in the eye, and then Jack could almost see how he closed the lids putting his anger inside.

"Never mind" he said taking a breath, not smiling at him "I'll just clean it." He turned to leave, but then looked back over his shoulder. "You do know radio waves go through walls." He turned around and actually waited for an answer. Cheeky bastard, Jack smiled.

"Unlike you, I don't know everything" Jack told him and Ianto just shot one eyebrow up, still without a smile. Jack stepped one step closer as Ianto didn't go away. He thought now how adorable Ianto looked in the board room when he got angry, maybe it wouldn't be a bad thing to let him have that space where he could be angry and reprimand for him things. It wasn't too fun to be Serious Captain all the time and power could even go to his head. Giving away power... that gave Jack some ideas, so he smiled. To his surprise Ianto didn't smile back.

"There is a place and time for some things" Ianto said coldly "and this is not that time, I must ask you to step one step back and restrain yourself." Jack's eyebrows went up in surprise, if nothing that should be his line, to keep things civil.

Jack stepped back raising his arms in surrender.

"You're the boss Mister Jones" he said and earned deathly glare. "Uh" Jack pursed his lips "if that should be a cold shower you're failing miserably." He explained crossing his arms around his chest, which showed his upper body nicely. If it was possible, Ianto looked even colder now and it looked hot as hell on him. Jack couldn't help but curving his smile back up, he loved a challenge. Maybe he was too skittish today in fear that Ianto would get all mushy on him. Ianto just diverted his gaze towards the wall.

"If that is all..." he left out his usual 'sir' or at least Jack and turned to leave. Now Jack started to worry, maybe he pushed him too far.

"Ianto" Jack called out quietly; confused but there were no reply so he did what he wasn't used to, he followed him. But Ianto was a cunning bastard; he turned into the sick bay and started to clean up around Owen who was in the middle of preparations. There was nothing Jack could say or do in front of Owen, not because of shame, but because the good doctor would mock him and shoot down any effort on his part. So he just leaned on the rail looking down at them thinking what would be smartest move; to let him cool down, or initiate the talk. It was obvious that Ianto wouldn't pull out the talk card himself, he decided to be silent. It was in character, Jack thought. If he thought earlier that he would be fine with silent treatment, he was wrong; his nerves became too thin for silence.

Beth's voice dragged him from his musings, straight into full alert mode. He tried to reason with her, but that was in vain, he could see it in her desperate expression. When she gave a cue he shot not hesitating, he wasn't willing to risk anything, and he sure wasn't the one to ruin her sacrifice and force her to live on knowing that she was just a fake, waiting to be overthrown by her opposite.

"She wanted you to shoot her" Gwen cried out all upset, unwilling to accept Beth's last gift to them.

"She wanted to make it easier on us" Jack explained it to her knowing she could never appreciate that. He did appreciate it although it made it harder on him; he knew others would cope easier.


	144. Hollow

_A/N: some more angst, although this episode is funny to watch, I find them all quite serious during it_

_Spoilers: Sleeper  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>Ianto was empty. There was no anger in him anymore, but there wasn't anything else either. It seemed silly now, all that hope he put in Jack's return, and then all the anger he felt building up during the day as Jack kept behaving like a badass boss. Jack was a badass boss, despite his charm, he always has been. It shouldn't surprise Ianto that he withdrew into business mode especially on a day like this. It was just disappointing.<p>

Ianto realized that after he confronted him about that damn sticky tape on the side mirror. Jack turned around with his firm but polite expression, his hands in his pockets.

"Never mind" he withdrew instead of releasing his rant. There was no point; Jack could deflect anything; there were no reaching him.

His thoughts were confirmed as Jack flirted like nothing happened. Ianto discovered he could resist him because he was devoid of desire too.

"Ianto?" he could hear a softer tone as he called out after him, but he wasn't in the mood to back down. Ianto didn't ask for much, but he sure asked for more than just sex accompanied with total ignorance.

As he entered main floor Ianto paused for a second not willing to go out and scrub SUV with petrol to remove the sticky parts. It was a tricky business and it needed steady hand. He spotted blood stains on the floor. Owen was on the verge of one big stain so Ianto went down to clean it up. Jack leaned on the on the rail, Owen cut into some corpse, Ianto cleaned. It was business as usual in Torchwood three. It all could be done in a professional manner, Ianto liked professional.

"I'll kill her first" Ianto could hear Beth's voice echoing the Hub. He froze for a second then jumped towards the nearest weapon beneath the rail, Owen took his from under the autopsy table, and Jack jumped towards the table he left his gun on when he changed.

Ianto stood firm, not thinking, watching the blade that held Gwen's throat. He trusted his aim, but that blade was too close. Then Beth took a swing to strike her and they all shot in unison. She fell down and there was silence cut by Gwen's voice. They all spoke but Ianto didn't hear them, he felt hollow. Jack helped Gwen up, Owen talked to her, Tosh continued her work on her computer and soon Beth's body was alone on the floor. They all just expected Ianto to do it. If he stood a moment longer like this, with a gun in his hand they would notice and try to talk to him. He moved purposely, straightening himself up and took out the trolley. He climbed the stairs to her body and stood there for a second looking at her wounds. In his mind that other moment replayed itself when another body fell under united shots. Only this time he was inside of the front firing, and this woman was loved by someone else, he didn't know her.

"Do you need help Ianto?" Jack's voice echoed the Hub and Ianto sighed moving again. He took her in his hands not minding his suit. She was light. Ianto placed her on the gurney with care. She was brave; Ianto would like to think Lisa would have been so brave and agreed to go, so the others would be spared.

After he put her in the drawer and closed her in, he paused to wish her a safe journey in the dark. Then he busied himself with cleaning SUV, finishing Rift manipulator repairs and cleaning the morgue. In all this he was careful to avoid others. It wasn't hard to do so, after they shot her there was a silence in the Hub broken only by Tosh's typing. When everyone went to leave Ianto went with them.

Ianto saw Gwen look up as he turned off the lights, there was a light there but he wasn't willing to go up.

She looked at them quizzically.

"I'll be out in a second" she told them and went up. Owen and Tosh stood in the tourist office to wait for her.

"A pint is all I need" Owen said with a sigh.

"I don't" Ianto said, opened the door and left. Last thing he needed was to sit and pretend he was fine. He wasn't fine. There was some sorting to be done. When he got home, after a shower and two chapters of the book to ease his mind, he'd have to reconsider his situation with Jack. He seemed to be in an unfavourable position. He let his emotions get in front of him and now he had to tuck them in. He would have to take more than just one step back. It was nice to spend an evening with Jack, talk, eat and sleep, but that made it even harder to wake up to a closed up, angry Jack, that was too absent for even one glance of reassurance.

Before Ianto was too sore to mind or care, but now, when he finally accepted harshness of reality he didn't need any more harsh behaviour than there already was in the world. He missed Jack, Jack was nice to him when he'd gotten back because he missed being cared for, and Ianto read too much into it. It was simple really, and simple enough to solve. He'd just have to keep his cool and Jack would back off accordingly, not like he didn't how to do that.


	145. Archiving death

_A/N: Jack comes to his senses :)_

_Spoilers: Sleeper  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>After Gwen had left Jack strolled around the Hub with his hands in his pockets. It was truly empty; he could tell that from the sound around him. Ianto didn't stay for a round of anything. It was pity really, but Jack wasn't alarmed by it. It was a long day, and there were plenty of reasons to be wasted and tired. Jack was still all wired up, the global war had been avoided for now, or so it seemed. Jack was used to living in temporal times of peace and accepted them. He knew it was inevitable for him to walk into a time of war; he had lived long enough to know they always have their cyclises of repeating.<p>

Sick bay was all cleaned up; there was a smell of refresher in the air, no traces of blood and steel. Ianto had done his job, so he must have calmed down after Beth went down. Even Gwen managed to accept her sacrifice. There were no traces of turbulence of the day, everything was sorted, cover stories sent out. They had more information about a new hostile species. It was a good day at Torchwood.

As he strolled, his gaze was drawn to one trash bin that hadn't been emptied. It was the one by the armoury and on top of it there was the gray T-shirt he'd taken off earlier. Now, in the silence, he finally remembered where he'd gotten it. It was Ianto's, no wonder it was too tight. What a coincidence that Ianto hadn't emptied that bin. Jack frowned, he didn't believe in coincidences, he looked around; everything else was sorted. He laughed shortly; it could explain part of Ianto's coldness. Not only that he ruined his shirt, but he threw it away carelessly. That kind of small thoughtless act, that Jack was full of, could end a relationship in a matter of seconds. Jack picked it up from under a few crumpled pieces of paper. Jack hoped it was just scribbles on the paper and not some dangerous information, he did warn them about throwing out papers in pieces. The shirt was torn and bloody, it was ruined, but he could at least return it with an apology so that Ianto could throw it out.

Jack smiled as he studied it. Last night had been quite wonderful, when you ignore all those disturbing emotions. Jack didn't like his emotions disturbed like that, he liked them polite and hidden. Jack folded thinking about Ianto and how soon would he have to fix this small guff. That reminded him that they did have loose agreement about tonight. He promised lasagne to Ianto. But maybe tomorrow, it would be too much to go over there tonight when Ianto had shown clear signs of irritation with him. He would have to explain himself, and he wanted to keep that space where he could withdraw without explanation.

Work, he decided, it was best to get some work done, tomorrow he'd work some more on lightening up Ianto. That is if some nasty alien doesn't crumple his plans again. They always did, but Jack was an optimist, countless deaths couldn't break that, so he didn't expect it to change.

Jack sorted Beth's files together with the data gathered from her transmitter, info on her weapon, and autopsy. Ianto would be pleased with him, he liked when Jack made an effort to sort the reports for filling. Then he accessed the CCTV footage of the Hub. He'd put a copy of her death in the records for future references.

Looking at her execution from a top view, Jack thought how that death looked awfully familiar. All of them united, shooting. There were not often cases of such clear cause that all of them would shoot at same time. As he thought, his memories of deaths were vast, the video rolled on and he spotted Ianto standing there with a gun in his hands while they managed Gwen. He just stood there all blank and Jack remembered. Lisa, they executed Lisa just like that. Ianto kept standing there, just staring, and then he moved. As he moved, Jack moved too, jumping up, grabbing his coat, the gray shirt, keys, taping his wrist strap, and hurried as the cog door rolled open. On the tape that kept rolling, he didn't see Ianto carry Beth with a calm expression on his face.

* * *

><p><em>Here, 500th page breached. Don't be scared off please do review :)<em>


	146. Knock on the door

_A/N: Ianto is reading The Summer Queen form Joan D. Vinge  
><em>

_No spoilers  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>Ianto had just finished his book and stared at it with disappointment. How come that even when they managed to build one confused, sexually indecisive character and give him room to find some ground to stand on, he died in the next few pages? Ianto threw the book aside, he never tossed books around, but this really got to him. He did aim so it landed on the couch, but it was still reckless behaviour. He let himself slump into his armchair and sigh. He let himself feel desperation for a moment. He didn't like to dwell upon that feeling, but sometimes it would just sneak up on him. Facing the end of his... whatever it was with Jack, he had to face the future where he would have to once again have explain himself, decide, to give reassurance where there is none.<p>

Jack was a very convenient choice, not only because of the job, but because of his ambiguousness towards male or female everyone else seemed obsessed with. Damn Jack, why did he have to be good at so many things, Ianto rubbed his forehead trying to rub away doubts.

A list, he decided, list is what he needed. He took out sheet of paper. He ignored associations to that stopwatch list he once made. This list had a different nature. This would be a list of things that should keep him away from Jack's wandering hands.

"Well that's not very good start for this list" he murmured to himself trying to concentrate, but all he could think of now were Jack's hands. He couldn't think like that, so he changed the nature of the list and started to write things that would keep Jack at a distance, things he had to do for Jack at work and things he'd done so far that were unnecessary.

Ianto frowned at his eclectic list of things. It turned out that he spent his days indulging Jack directly and more often indirectly. Jack was right, he did build his world around him, surrounded him, even when he wasn't thinking about having sex with Jack, he thought about Jack's needs and even his feelings during the day. He had done it without a second thought. He couldn't argue that he was just considerate because he wasn't all that engaged in anyone else in the Hub or outside it.

How had he gotten so deep without even noticing it? Even when Jack was away, he had done things for him; stashing archives, keeping things together. He done it from day to day without a second thought, so why didn't he act like that today? What was different? Jack was hot and cold all the time, why was he bothered by his coldness today?

Ianto thought about the night before and sighed.

It was because Jack changed the rules; he gave him access to his deeper feelings that were always locked away. Things that would only touch the surface and then hide before anyone noticed. Jack allowed him to be tender, to really touch him and finally Ianto's hunger for him got fed. Ianto's eyes filled with tears. He rarely cried, and crying was hard for him, so he didn't let the tears roll down, he controlled that impulse but still, the feeling was there. Because he finally realized what was he hungry for.

At that moment there was a strong knock on his door and Ianto jumped up suddenly angry again. He clenched his fist knowing that only Jack bloody Harkness would knock like that, like the bell hadn't been invented. Ianto hated the fact that he was on the other side of the door, knocking with some business, determined and resolute.

Ianto straightened himself up deciding that he wouldn't let Jack see his distress. Like the good man he was, Jack would jump to his aid, knowing sex would be his reward, but Ianto didn't want that. He no longer needed a list to know why to keep Jack away. Ianto crumpled his list and threw it in the trash before he opened the door for Jack. He opened it suddenly and fast, facing a surprised Jack as he lifted his hand to knock again.

"How can I be of a service, sir" Ianto spoke first not losing his calm appearance when faced with Jack's blue eyes. He was satisfied with that.

"Well" Jack was lost for a moment searching for something on Ianto's face, Ianto was pleased that he didn't find it, because Jack straighten himself up in his Captain pose. "I need you to go with me on an inspection."

"Wouldn't Owen or Gwen be better for that" Ianto didn't move. "Even Tosh is a better choice than I am." Ianto raised his eyebrow and Jack was speechless for a second.

"Flat Holm" Jack said abruptly, and then raised his hands in surrender. "I know, you wrote reports, and I will read them all, I've already gone through Jonah Bevan's file. I need to see it, and you need to come so we can discuss changes. I would wait for dawn, but all that secrecy would be wasted, wouldn't it?"

"I'll get changed" said Ianto finally, knowing that it was work and he wanted to keep doing it. He even wanted to keep looking at Jack, even if he wouldn't touch him. It was really best that way. They would adjust.


	147. Forgetting the bell

_A/N: Jack's waiting._

_No spoilers  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>Jack stood in the doorway waiting. He knew when he wasn't invited in. He rushed all the way here, unlocked the hallway door with Ianto's key without a second thought, and ran up the stairs two at the time. He stopped, faced with a closed door, he was far from unlocking it himself so he knocked, forgetting about the bell. He often did that, knocking was a simple act that worked the same on space ships and wooden doors, and everywhere it was understood, bells on the other hand were always unpredictable in sound and purpose. There were times in the future when the bell was replaced with an electric shock just for the fun of it and to keep people away.<p>

Jack took a breath and lifted his hand to knock again, he imagined Ianto on the other side just standing there and not responding, but then the door suddenly open and Ianto was facing him looking as ordinary as ever. More so, he looked determined and cold, like he had interrupted in some intense activity. Jack looked for signs of sorrow on his face, but there weren't any.

"How I can be of a service sir" he spoke up politely like they had met yesterday and Jack was lost for a second wandering if he'd gone through a gap in their Rift and ended up in parallel universe where Ianto was cold and efficient as he looked. Jack had that fear of dropping into strange realities, and knew it wasn't an unsupported one, it could happen.

"Well" he thought quickly trying to find the right thing to say, but Ianto's face gave no clues to what that would be. So he did what he does best, he went to business. "I need you to go with me on an inspection" he said waiting for a sign of anything, at least that other universe, but again nothing appeared. Ianto could be so annoyingly unreadable.

Ianto even argued that he could get some of the other guys for the task, raising his eyebrow in that irritated but adorable fashion. That made Jack lose his pace but he regained himself quickly.

"Flat Holm" he said knowing that he couldn't argue with that or ask for anyone else to come. It was in his plan to visit it, now it would serve in buying time. Jack would find his way around this wall; he wasn't so old to fail so lamely.

"I'll get changed" Ianto gave in reluctantly and withdrew into the bedroom. Jack looked at the flat that only few days ago looked like wonderland. It seemed further away. When faced with an alien threat time would stand still for Jack, everything lasted longer.

Now it looked like a distant land he didn't understand, everything was cleaned up and neat, even neater than yesterday. Only one thing stood out. On the couch there was a displaced book, like it had been thrown aside; the light beside reading chair was on. Ianto had been reading and he'd gotten upset. Did the book upset him or his arrival? He concentrated on the cover trying to access his locked memory, but it was in vain, even if it was there, his memory was scrambled. All he got were beautiful faces and gracefulness; he didn't see how that would upset anyone.

Ianto got back from his room and Jack took into his appearance. He was dressed in jeans and green jacket. He hadn't seen him dressed like that in ages; it was before the missing year, maybe even before Ianto approached him in the morgue, by Suzie's dead body. Jack would go soft when he would think about that moment, it was such a nice gesture, one Jack could easily understand. This tight silence and tension was whole another ball game, he was just no good at this touchy state. Showing his feelings never were his strong suit. Ianto turned out the lights leaving book on the couch to ruin perfect lines and locked the door.

"Countrycide" Jack spoke up and Ianto turned towards him confused "you wore that combination when we went into countrycide."

"And got stuck with cannibals" Ianto raised his eyebrows not lightening his tone "charming memory, I treasure it so dearly that I never took it out of the box. Thank you for that image. Besides, they were different jeans; I don't fit into those anymore."

"You fit into these perfectly" Jack offered him, his wide grin but all he got in return was an eye roll before Ianto turned around and went down the stairs. Jack followed him frowning. His smile always worked on Ianto. "I'm just telling it like it is" he said beating Ianto to the door and holding it open for him.

"Thank you" said Ianto with a sigh and got into the SUV.


	148. Pat on the back

_A/N: standing on a boat_

_Spoilers: Adrift  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>As they drove Ianto looked straight ahead, he was furious at himself and at Jack. Jack had the ability to drag out something that would favour him. He had to mention that incident where it all started for Ianto. Now he couldn't stop thinking about Jack and his damn boots as he came to the rescue, shooting those monsters that almost beat him to death. He could feel himself softening up, and he couldn't help it. Ianto hated it, when he reached decision he liked to stick to it. He prided himself on being a man of his word. He held onto that anger to stay cool. Even if he had to admit Jack's advantages, he didn't have to back down at one casual remark. It wasn't even a compliment, it was just statement, a memory Jack could reach. If Jack wanted him, he would have to do better than that. The time when Ianto just casually offered himself were in the past, because he wasn't offering just his body anymore and that made a world of difference.<p>

When they reached the docks it was dark, but Jack drove their boat without hesitation, knowing the way by the heart. Ianto stood facing the bay so he didn't have to look at Jack. They were too close and alone, but the silence stretched between them and Ianto started to fear Jack would persist in this, that he wouldn't say anything, that he would just let things slide ahead in the way that Ianto set them. Ianto closed his hands hard around rail determined that even if that is so, he wouldn't back down. He didn't need to be Jack's part time shag, which would just be hurtful. The good thing in all this was that he could get over it, he'd gotten over worse things than this, far worse, he was good at dealing with pain.

That thought eased down the pressure in his chest and he loosened his grip on the rail. He could do this. They went ashore and Ianto was himself, smiling warmly to Marianne and pointing out the differences to Jack. There weren't many, but Ianto tried to make this place less cold and sterile, it wasn't a very promising task, but it was something that eased up the atmosphere of the place.

Jack was silent most of the time. Then he sighed and went to visit the residents one by one. Ianto stood in the doorway as Jack went in, sat in a chair and just sat there for a few moments, sometimes making some quiet talk if it was possible.

Jack reached the last door, chalkboard on the door was empty; there was no name.

"Lynette?" He asked facing the door, knowing the answer.

"Her blisters burst" Marianne spoke up sadly. "There was nothing we could do about it but to back away. It was truly terrible, but she's not suffering anymore, before the end she could barely eat."

Jack nodded and then knocked on the chalkboard.

"What's this? That's new" he said without turning around.

"Mr Jones brought that" she said fondly and Ianto felt uneasy. "I think it's a nice touch; we gave them to the ones that could write to write their name themselves, it seemed appropriate."

"It is" Ianto could see Jack's cheek stretching into a smile "simple yet something personal they could control. Good work."

Jack turned towards the exit and they followed his swift pace.

"See you in Thursday" Marianne said to Ianto and he nodded "glad to see you back Captain." She said to Jack's back and went back inside.

Jack just stood there and looked at the water.

"What" Jack spoke up still looking ahead "I don't even get a pat on the back for comfort?"

Ianto frowned.

"Well you weren't spilling your guts out on the grass" he answered and went to the boat.

If Jack's intention had been to soften him up with the horrors of Flat Holm it was just plain cruel. Ianto had gotten used to the Flat Holm residents and was at ease with them. Jack was right about him, he could handle it, and they were just some more injured or sick people. Like his mother strapped down in a loony bin.


	149. Barefooted

_A/N: resolution, hopefully a satisfying one_

_Spoilers: Adrift  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>Jack was disturbed by Flat Holm, he always was. He simply couldn't accept it, but there it was and he had to deal with it like many other awful and unfair things in the universe. He had lived long enough to know how to find them, and he did seek them out because the alternative was much worse. Imagining those people on some examination table all cut open made him carry on.<p>

He had seen quite enough dissected people and aliens in his time as a Torchwood field agent when he had no power to stop it; he had no desire to participate in that again. It seemed like the universe was full of those kind of hurtful things, but then he remembered the chalkboards on the doors and the clumsy letters on them. He smiled to himself; Ianto knew how to make the world beautiful even in a place like this.

Jack turned and followed the path to the boat. Ianto was already aboard and finally he didn't look empty and distant, he was sulking. Jack could understand that, he could work with that. On the way here Ianto was so distant that Jack started to doubt his ability to fix this problem, whatever it was. Now his confidence was back because he was determined once again. Ianto had something that he wanted for himself, at least for awhile, until Ianto got tired of him. They all got tired, but that was a good thing, it meant they would resume their normal lives. But in the meantime things could be fun.

He started the engine and Ianto turned his back to Jack again. Jack was annoyed by that, it cut off all communication, putting that on top of the wind and the roar of the engine made talking impossible. They'd talk ashore. Jack laughed to himself out loud, he had made an effort all day long to avoid talking, and now he was impatient to make it happen. Ianto turned towards him frowning; Jack could see his face clearly against the approaching city lights and the full moon that was rising in the sky. Jack killed the engine and they stopped.

"What the hell" Ianto got upset "we can't just drift, we're almost there."

"Yeah, and there you'll sulk some more, I'll take you home and what then? More work, less time, I don't like to see my efforts ruined. What's with you today?" he decided to be bluntly honest, it didn't suit him to hesitate.

"What's with me?" Ianto raised his voice and Jack smiled with satisfaction, it was a nice voice, and when in full throttle quite loud and masculine, he did love masculine. "I'm not the one that's been a prick all day."

"Prick?" Jack mussed. "Is that a nice way to say 'completely handsome'?"

"Nothing is ever serious with you" Ianto looked up exasperated.

"Why be serious, life is hard enough, you've seen them, we have to keep it light or we'll go mad" Jack pointed towards Flat Holm.

"Really?" Ianto didn't back down. "Will you really persist in using them to wear me down? That's really low."

"I'm not doing that" Jack frowned "It was on my to-do list and it was the only thing I could think of to get you out of your apartment, because you wouldn't talk to me there."

"Damn right I wouldn't" Ianto muttered "after today I could just put you on ice, and you wouldn't disagree."

"But I would disagree, I came, didn't I?" Jack was all serious.

"Why did you come?" Ianto was suddenly calm watching him carefully. "If not for work?"

"I saw the footage when you collected Beth" Jack decided honesty was the safest choice. "I thought you might be upset."

"And you would comfort me, no questions asked" Ianto scorned.

"Ok, what did I do?" Jack shouted out. "I do not remember doing anything wrong today."

Ianto just stared at him.

"Of course you don't" Ianto sat down on the deck and sighed. "Maybe I just expect too much of you."

Jack sat down beside him entangling his hands and leaning on his knees.

"Ok, maybe you could tell me what you expect and I will decide if it is too much."

Ianto looked at him sideways and then sighed.

"It's silly really" he murmured and paused, Jack waited. "I was annoyed when I woke up this morning, and you being distant and cold all day didn't help."

"But the danger..." Jack tried to argue weakly, but Ianto cut him off.

"Yeah, yeah, I know the world in danger and all, but I just don't care" he said firmly. "It was just a day at Torchwood, every day is like that. If you can't find a moment to just stop and acknowledge me I see no point in pursuing anything."

"It doesn't sound too demanding" Jack was relived, he expected anything from kisses and hugs in the Hub to 'live with me'.

"We'll see if it's demanding or not" Ianto said flatly.

"I brought you this" Jack took out the grey t-shirt from his pocket. "I borrowed it accidentally."

"What I would do with that, it's ruined" Ianto looked it with confusion and didn't reach for it.

"Well, I thought..." Jack frowned confused. "You didn't throw it away?"

"It was too close to your office, and I was avoiding you, so we didn't have to have this talk."

Jack laughed out loud and tossed the t-shirt over the rail.

"Sorry for today" Jack relaxed and leaned back. "I was a bit preoccupied by the 'end of the world' thing, felt threatened by your remarks and questioning my decisions, I'm not sure yet of my place, and my dick hurt" he confessed.

"You felt challenged by me?" Ianto didn't get side tracked. "I would imagine Gwen would bother you, or Owen, not me."

"Well, I do need you to run things, and don't doubt your ability to challenge my authority." Jack was serious.

"In the future I'll take your insecurity into account. Your dick hurt?" His tone finally got lithe.

"Well we did get stuck together last night" Jack said honestly. "And the separation did hurt."

"I'm glad you felt it too" Ianto said dryly. "So your ability to heal doesn't include your dick? Why did we throw away condoms?"

"It only gets reset when I die, in mean time only the big injuries are healed. I didn't die today." He explained.

"So you could be a carrier, if you don't die in meantime," Ianto argued.

"Always to the point, ok, I'll make sure that if I get involved somewhere, I'll die before I get to you." Jack said.

"You better" Ianto said firmly.

"Although I won't seek out opportunities" Jack offered quickly.

"There is no need for that Jack" Ianto said shaking his head. "You are who you are. I've accepted you."

Jack leaned in towards him suddenly full of desire.

"Not tonight" Ianto cut him off coldly "I accepted you, but that doesn't change who I am."

"And who you are?" Jack said with delight backing away wondering if he would ever get enough of this man.

"Not casual" he stressed it out. "I do care for you, and I won't play it cool and act like you weren't a prick all day," he was determined.

"Still a prick? Only because I had to leave early today?" Jack still hadn't seen anything wrong with his behaviour, Ianto didn't see him sneaking out of bed and running barefooted.

"There is a thing called a note, you did it yesterday, or a quick wake up to say 'I have to go', even, 'good morning sorry I have to run, did you sleep well'." He offered. "Besides you had to make quite an effort to unglue yourself without waking me."

"Ok" Jack sighed giving up "I freaked out, I'm no good at mornings."

"Freaked out? Why" Ianto asked innocently but Jack could see he would insist on this.

He shook his head and withdrew, looking across the water towards the city that was slowly sliding before them.

"Because you were too good last night" he said absently, feeling the cold "and I'm not used to be treated like that, with care."

He felt Ianto sliding closer and Ianto slipped his arm around Jack's.

"See, that wasn't too hard" he said quietly. "Your problem is that you don't like to show that responsive and raw side of you, and my problem is that I'm hungry to feel just that. If it's something that you can't give, I'll understand, but I can't be unmoved and rough, that's not me. If you're just looking for warm body, I can't be that, I will always ask for more of you."

After that Jack couldn't speak, all he could do is turn to Ianto and kiss him. Luckily Ianto accepted that as an answer and kissed him back. Jack couldn't get enough of him, but soon Ianto eased it down and backed away.

"Not tonight I said" he said with a mocking smile and Jack growled.

"You are tough" Jack said fiercely. "Tougher than anyone I know. What will we do instead, because I'm not feeling like going to the Hub alone?"

"We can talk" Ianto said simply, "you remember, exchanging words."

* * *

><p><em>Don't be afraid to review, though it looks like it, I'm not really crazy :)<em>


	150. Shelter

_A/N: here is new one thnx to my beta that reminded me to stay on course. Here is some more about past, I finally got hold on Consequences so I've incorporated them into my story. Don't like lose ends, although it's hard to expect to have none of those_

_Spoilers: Consequences, Kaleidoscope, Sarah Pinoborough  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>"Yeah" said Jack with a crooked smile "I remember something similar we did it last night, didn't we, that is, before you savoured me in bed."<p>

Ianto shook his head smiling. He appreciated Jack's ability to get everything back to bed, but he'd stick to talking. Just for the fun of it, because he wasn't mad anymore, Jack presented his case honestly and Ianto could see him freaking out and running away. So Ianto accepted the banter.

"Well, I couldn't help it" he said with a smile "I blame it all on the pheromones."

"Now I remember" Jack's smile widened "that was one of the first things you've liked about me."

"I would bottle you if I could" said Ianto and Jack narrowed his eyes "if I find a way to do that I would toss you aside in a heartbeat."

Jack laughed out loud and Ianto enjoyed the sound, feeling how the last knots of anxiety lost its grip on his chest.

"If we're talking" Jack got back to a serious tone "you could tell with more details how that thing with Tosh and Gwen went down, why did she back down, how she got elected."

"So it's just reports or sex" said Ianto flatly.

"You've made your choice" answered Jack simply "besides" he continued with a smile "there are reports, and I'll read them, because you've put them there for me, but I'm just curious, it must have been fun to watch Tosh in charge, what did that look like."

"It was fine actually" Ianto took a deep breath "that is until she got self-conscious that she was leading."

"How do you mean?" Jack took Ianto's hand in his.

"Well" Ianto stared in their joined hands "Tosh took charge while you were dead, after Abbadon, Owen was out, Gwen was sitting by you, and I was... well, she kept things moving, so she kept doing it after you left. It took them a while to recognize you weren't coming back, in that time she led the way. Gave orders, sorted things, approved the green house and other changes, we took down Mountholder, then that creature with the spiky skin, some strange looking algae."

"Algae?" Jack laughed.

"It was quite some problem in the water, but we sorted with a compound Owen made" Ianto smiled. "At least that didn't get sticky and messy, do you know how hard is to clean sticky tape from polish?"

"I'm sure it is" Jack squeezed his hand "and I'm sure you've done it perfectly. I am sorry I didn't make Gwen hold it out window whole way there, but I don't like a draft while driving."

"Apology accepted" Ianto shook his head. "Anyway, when they finally decided you weren't coming back..."

"I did come back" Jack interrupted him.

"...they decided they had to have an inauguration of a new leader." Ianto continued unfazed.

"Did they make it fancy? What was the procedure? I wish I had mine, it was so messy, not really a fond memory." Jack rambled.

"It was a mug" said Ianto flatly.

"Mug?" Jack was baffled.

"Your mug, to be precise. They decided your sign of power is your coffee mug, so they discussed who would get it."

"You're saying they took my mug?" Jack looked disturbed.

"Don't worry I got you a new one" Ianto patted Jack's knee.

"It looks the same" Jack frowned.

"Of course it does, I got the same one as before" Ianto shrugged his shoulders.

"I liked my mug" Jack whined.

"This is the fifth one" Ianto spelled it out. "What do you think; I magically restore them in one piece after you throw it off the table or into the wall?"

"Well I thought it was a mean piece of aliened tech that makes coffee taste divine." Jack defended himself.

"No, that's called a coffee maker" Ianto explained.

"Or Ianto Jones" Jack smiled and put his arm around Ianto's waist.

"Well they took your mug as sign of power, maybe because you always carry it around, and argued who should get it." Ianto continued, persistent to get on with the story.

"You" said Jack "you did buy it, wash it, fill it, and I wouldn't mind sharing it with you."

"They couldn't agree, because Tosh got all shy and hesitant when faced with official duty, luckily I found a document that stated that longest serving member should assume leadership, so that settled that."

"Really?" Jack backed away to look at Ianto. "You managed to produce that piece of paper just in the nick of time to save the day and make Tosh leader?"

"It was there, and I am familiar with my archives." Ianto shrugged his shoulders.

"Sure you are" Jack shook his head "but I am too, and there is more than one regulation of passing down the leading spot, you must have dug deep to find one so technical."

"Well" Ianto blushed under his gaze "she did do a good job, Owen and Gwen just argued all the time."

"I'm sure she did" Jack squeezed him closer. "So what went wrong?"

"It was just bad luck" Ianto sighed "just after that they went out and found piece of alien tech that was used in rehabilitating criminals on some distant place. It looked like kaleidoscope. You called it Rehabilitator in report we found."

"I know that" Jack straightened up. "You shouldn't touch that."

"We figured that out in time" he sighed, "but not before Owen and Gwen looked at Tosh through it."

"There is nothing wrong with her, nothing that should be fixed" Jack was confused.

"I think so too, but apparently Owen and Gwen don't" Ianto snorted.

"What did they do?" Jack was worried.

"Well they made Tosh sassy and rude." Ianto said with disdain.

"That must have been hot" Jack grinned.

"They thought it was good, I found it disturbing, luckily they looked at her just for a moment so that faded away, and she was her normal self soon enough."

"So what then, she was embarrassed by herself and gave up? It doesn't sound compromising." Jack tried to picture it.

"No, but she was less confident after that, probably feeling inadequate before them, they did state their opinion during that episode, I sure would feel bad if that happened to me" Ianto said simply.

"They wouldn't dare to change you" Jack rubbed his side "I would decapitate them."

"Anyway, then came that alien with glowing skin that locked onto Tosh during a chase and made her thoughts available for all to see, and she gave your mug to Gwen."

"She must have been mortified by that" Jack smiled sadly.

"No, I think she found it to be a fitting punishment, after all she did get to see all our thoughts" Ianto concluded.

"Not mine" Jack smiled "I have protection."

"Who could read you" Ianto shook his head and shivered, Jack felt that under his arm.

"You're cold" he jumped up.

"It is cold night" Ianto pointed out annoyed "and I wasn't planning in camping out on the water, I would dress for the occasion if I was."

"I have to have a blanket somewhere in here" Jack dug into cabinet. "I left it in on my last stake out, when that water creature was taking out fishermen. You didn't clean it up, I hope."

"I wouldn't dream of it" Ianto deadpanned "although it is in my job description to clean up after you."

"You made that job for yourself, so you don't get to complain" Jack said absently reaching for a blanket from the back. Something clunked on the deck when he dragged it out.

"Thermos bottle" Ianto picked it up with reclamation "I was looking for that everywhere."

"Well" Jack smiled opening the blanket "you've find it now, and I did rinse it after use so it won't stink like that last one you found in the back of SUV. See I listen when you whine" he covered Ianto's back and Ianto got lost for a second remembering when he did that the last time in the Hub's corridors when he was naked and shaken. He almost leaned forward and gave in to Jack's expecting eyes, but he turned towards the coast suddenly worried that they drifted too far, but city was still there. Looking at shore he recognised where they were, and that gave him idea.

"Drive us to the coast" he said to Jack.

"Oh, is our date over?" Jack whined. "I just started to have fun."

"It's not a date" Ianto corrected him "It's a stalling tactic, almost a hostage situation, and we talked about work, its cold, and we're surrounded by water, drifting."

"So you're gonna escape your captive by jumping ashore?" Jack inquired amused.

"No, but we have a thermos, that is clean thanks to my instructions about handling used kitchenware, and there is all night diner over there, if we find ladder I can go and fill this with coffee. Bad coffee, but still it will be hot."

"You're hot" Jack grinned "when you get all technical with me. But don't go to shore, you're going to jinx us, if we get too close the Rift will go mad, and we'll have to run, leaving this beautiful shelter to the waves."

"Poet, are you?" Ianto looked at him confused. "Don't be superstitious, I'll be back in nick of time, and if the Rift burps we'll be closer. If not, we can throw anchor somewhere so we don't get to open sea."

"You're planning on losing your senses Mr. Jones?" Jack's voice got deep and seductive.

"Oh, just drive Jack" Ianto snapped at him. "I need coffee."

"Yes sir" Jack started the engine. "And you don't get to call me superstitious; Mister that reads warnings from old outdated books that spooks us with damnation and demons." He ranted.

"That was one time" Ianto answered firmly "and you should know better, anything could be real, reflection of some threat or future, we can't turn a blind eye just because something is written on paper that got old, and in language that is outdated, our language must have been strange to you, especially hundred years ago."

"You're right there" Jack smiled as he navigated to reach the ladder.

"And technically that demon did appear" Ianto got his punch line when he grabbed the ladder.

"It wasn't a demon, it was alien" Jack argued behind him, and Ianto smiled.

"I did say technically" he answered and climbed up.

* * *

><p><em>Old, and new readers are free to check in and leave a note, positive one would be nice.<em>


	151. Catch

_A/N: here is a bit sooner thnx to new reviews and new followers. Welcome aboard, it's nice to be read. So here goes..._

_No spoilers  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>Jack sat alone in the boat rocking on the waves and discovered he wasn't enjoying himself. He was frightened, so much that he had to hold himself down not to climb up and run across the street to find Ianto. The anxiety attacked him as soon as Ianto disappeared from sight. He hadn't experienced it quite so sudden and strong before, but he blamed it on the missing year. It made him more aware of how fragile people were. When he came back he was overwhelmed by all those alive and carefree people, by his team unscratched, Ianto whole and neat. He was too preoccupied by getting Ianto and keeping him at safe distance that in the process he didn't think about loss, just about getting in too deep.<p>

Now sitting alone in the dark, out of sight, and without an overview he felt the panic rising up. He couldn't help it; he saw a car making a fast turn, robbers showing up at the diner, a trip in a step, broken glass flying around, a car bomb, alien attack, poison in the coffee, and it just went on. Jack was very imaginative when it came to ways of dying. If it's there, he probably had done it, or he would in the near future. But he hadn't had the luxury to give in to that fear, to indulge to himself and go to check to see Ianto walking along safely and carefully, because if he did, it would never stop. He knew, because he'd been there before. He tried to protect his wife, and she ended up hating him and fearing him at the same time. He had lost so much to Torchwood and in time he had lost his bearings about what he could do for others, and what was over the line, making a decision for someone else, not realizing when his concern became a prison. That's why he chose to do less, because it was safer option, his protectiveness had no bounds. He knew he would lose everybody eventually; there was no helping that, but accepting it when you care was a whole other ball game.

That's why for him being in relationship was all about balancing between fears, desire, and being ready to let go. He rubbed his face and with a deep breath calmed down his feelings, he knew how to do that, he had practice. He could do this for Ianto, that Ianto could be himself, to walk sidewalks, go on missions, and just live his life. He already made that call, he just had to do it again, from a more attached place than before, besides Ianto was cautious, he didn't know a more careful and hesitant person. With that thought Ianto was on top of the stairs.

"Catch" he said and threw down the thermos bottle. Jack almost dropped it.

"Hey" he yelled at Ianto's descending form. "It could have broken and spilled all over me."

"And you're so unaccustomed to dirt, mud, mucus and stains." Ianto deadpanned and turned around with his eyebrow raised "Besides, I thought you had cat-like reflexes."

"But I do" Jack reacted quickly and grabbed Ianto by his waist. "Wanna demonstration?" He grinned widely and Ianto paused for awhile, but then he regained himself and pushed Jack away.

"You can demonstrate your navigational skills and put us somewhere nice, I won't stand here and look at this mossy wall." He took the blanket and sat on the bench.

"Aye, Aye sir", Jack mimicked a sea captain and sought out a good spot to see the city. "Is this to your liking" he asked formally. Instead of an answer Ianto lifted his arm and opened a space beside him.

"I'm happy to oblige" said Jack and slide in. Ianto covered his shoulders with the blanket and passed him the coffee. "Not willing to exchange words anymore?" Jack inquired a bit baffled by his silence. Ianto shrugged his shoulders.

"It's just things I'm not willing to ask" he said curtly.

"Well we'll have none of that Mr. Jones. Your rules" he pointed out. "Besides, I'm more curious of the things you're not willing to ask, than the other ones."

Ianto just shook his head and leaned his forehead to Jack's shoulder. Jack reacted instantly putting his arms around him.

"If it's all fun and games" he mumbled out "I'm not willing to play that way. No matter how good and exciting it is. I just don't have a switch to turn my emotions off. It's not that I demand you to be someone else, I know you, but you don't know me. I care too much and you can't even stand to worry."

"Ianto" he rubbed Ianto's back and whispered in his ear "I do know you, better than you think, and that is exactly what I came back for. You're willing to let me be me. So in return you can be whoever you are. I'll take grumpy and mad, even whining, it's all ok to me."

Ianto backed away and looked at Jack offended.

"I'm not whining" he said determined. "It's the coffee, it's awful."

"I've had worse" Jack shrugged his shoulders and maneuvered his hand on Ianto's back to reach some bare skin between Ianto's jeans and shirt, he had to pull out his t-shirt to do so, but Ianto didn't complain. "But, just to be clear, it's not all fun and games, but is it allowed to be fun most of the time?" He asked innocently.

"Yeah Jack". Was it his imagination, or was Ianto's voice suddenly husky "it's ok if it turns out to be fun. I'm not great at that, it would be a change" with that he leaned in and tasted Jack's lips. Jack smiled and kissed back.

* * *

><p><em>Do leave a note for me.<em>


	152. Jinx

_A/N: here is new angsty ch, some of Ianto's inner musings_

_No spoilers.  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>Ianto climbed the ladder pretty satisfied with himself. He held his ground, got his punch line, and managed to withstand attacks of Jack's charm, which wasn't a small accomplishment. He jumped on the pavement looking ahead to the lights of the diner, he was about to step on the road when the squeal of breaks made him jump backwards. A car was drifting on the road trying to stop before hitting a lamp post. When he finally stopped the man at the wheel got out of the wreckage and shook his head trying to understand what he was seeing.<p>

"Don't drink and drive, you idiot" a man that was just behind the lamp post shouted out.

"I didn't" man defended himself and Ianto rushed to walk away, he didn't have time to deal with it. Nobody was hurt and Jack was waiting for him. He continued to walk a bit shaken, not so amused anymore. If he had been a second faster he wouldn't have been able to jump away quick enough. As he approached the diner he noticed broken glass all around it, it crumbled under his feet as he entered the lit up interior.

"Aren't you a lucky one?" man behind counter yelled at him, Ianto looked back, but there was no one behind him. "You just missed a pointed gun, why do they think it's fun to look at a gun barrel?"

"Coffee to go?" Ianto lifted his thermos bottle not knowing what else to say.

"Why not, but only if you have exact change, because we're emptied out" sighed the man "why did he have to smash my window too? It's more costly than the few bucks in the cash register" the man ranted on as he filled Ianto's coffee.

"Poison" said woman sitting by the counter like nothing had happened "you should have offered him coffee with the money and poisoned it" she mused passionately "that would get him on the street where he couldn't shoot us, and he wouldn't do that again."

"Poison?" answered man pointedly handing Ianto his thermos. "I don't have poison, where would I get it, where would I keep it to put it in there quickly?"

"Well I'm sure you could get it somewhere" the woman thought about it seriously, Ianto put exact change on the counter, man didn't look at it; he was preoccupied by the woman talking "and you could keep it by coffeemaker in a small pocket to slip in while he's not looking."

Ianto walked away ascribing their behaviour by the recent shock. People were strange under shock. Nevertheless they disturbed him and he looked behind as he was walking so he didn't see the step, tripping forward almost crashing to the ground. He managed to regain his balance, but he felt shaken like something would jump from behind the corner and attack him.

It was just nerves he convinced himself, the few accidents he just saw, Jack's talk about jinxes, nothing real. Regardless he found himself quickening his pace, rushing back fearing he wouldn't find Jack in the spot he'd left him that he would just vanish without a trace or record. He wouldn't even know if he was flying around with the Doctor. Ianto would be left with doubt that Jack was out there, just out of reach, drowning over and over again chained to the bottom of the bay, unable to scream. That Ianto would just pass by him not noticing while he died over and over again. As he reached the edge of the bay he stopped to look over and check if he was there. His breathing even out and he leaned over.

Jack was there. Ianto was washed away with relief but it was accompanied with anger at him for causing him such fear, he wanted to punish Jack. It was Jack's fault Ianto cared so much. So Ianto threw the thermos bottle at him.

"Catch" he said when the bottle already left his hand. He wasn't really surprised when Jack managed to catch it; he was like that, flawless.

They threw words at each other and Ianto ended up in Jack's arms. Of course Jack managed to do that, but Ianto pushed him away. He was agitated by the wall, waves, night, everything. Jack seemed unfazed by it all, so Ianto had to tell him to move them away. As they got some distance from the city Ianto felt like he could breathe again, like his anxiety melted away leaving something mushy and sad, he felt like crying or screaming, but he clenched his jaw keeping it all inside, looking at Jack's magnificent back as he drove. Ianto wished he would drive them away on the sea, away from the city. Ianto wished he could just turn him around, shake his shoulders and make him tell all his dark secrets, all his hidden sorrows, to show every little pain he ever felt. Ianto wished Jack could not just say all those things, but to show them, and let Ianto dig deep, and just clean it all from inside out. He could see himself with a mop inside Jack's chest, cleaning until he was as flawless inside as he was outside, until he didn't feel any more pain. Ianto didn't have much life to live, he always felt he'd die young, it was a fatalism of his, maybe because of his father, but it was there so if he even wanted a chance at that cleaning mission he had to speak up, starting now, before his time with Jack was up. But he feared Jack had a whole other plan for him, he feared he planned to keep him at arm's reach like everyone else, and just pull him near when he needed some warm body to entertain him while something important happened.

"Not willing to exchange words anymore?" it was like Jack could read his mind and Ianto tried to hold down a stream of words in his throat, but Jack came closer and inquired further so some of that inner turmoil spilled out. Ianto hated when that happened so he leaned on Jack's shoulder to hide his face.

"I'll take grumpy and mad, even whining, it's all ok with me" Jack said and Ianto backed away.

"I'm not whining" Ianto said angrily, he said almost nothing "it's the coffee, it's awful" and he probably wouldn't say anything if it tasted any better.

Jack reached around and Ianto let him to find a way to his skin, it was awakening to feel warm skin, like his blanket of anxiety was lifted from him and was replaced by burning desire. Suddenly fun didn't look bad at all, just to lay back and be savoured, it wasn't bad at all. That's why he leaned forward to get some more warmth and skin. As Jack kissed him back Ianto felt his skin burning with demanding need to be touched, he wanted to be wrapped in Jack, to lose his mind. He was just about to jump on Jack and tear his shirt that was in the way when he finally realized he wasn't himself, not really.

He pulled himself off Jack and jumped up.

"I've jinxed us" he shouted out.

* * *

><p><em>Feel free to express yourself.<em>


	153. Punches and needles

_A/N: here is new one, a bit of action on the move_

_Minor spoilers for Fragments  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>Jack was just starting to enjoy himself when Ianto suddenly jumped up. Jack was bewildered by his behaviour, but he didn't take him seriously. He thought it was charming.<p>

"Don't mess around" he laughed out loud "I know, I've been silly, come here, I've just started" he grabbed Ianto's wrist and pulled him gently, but Ianto didn't yield.

"No, you were right, I've jinxed us; there is something awfully wrong. Something happened while I was ashore, but I didn't notice it until moments ago, I'm not myself. My emotions are wild and uncontrollable."

"That's just me" Jack grinned and stretched out "I have that kind of impact on people, don't worry everybody loses their control from time to time, especially when I'm involved."

"That's true" Ianto said seriously and without hesitation still looking towards the town, Jack's grin widened "but not me, not like this."

"Now I'm insulted" Jack frowned and Ianto finally looked at him.

"I don't mean it like that" he shouted and Jack's eyebrows shot up. "You see now" Ianto took a deep breath to control himself "it's not just lust, it's everything else, like I'm agitated beyond reason. I pride myself to be able to maintain a certain dose of control."

"More than just a dose" Jack rose to his feet and approached Ianto leaning against him "maybe it's not a bad thing to let go for awhile."

"I do let go sometimes" Ianto backed away insulted "you should know that."

"I know, I know" Jack raised his hands in surrender "but maybe it's just been a long day, end of the world and things, the island, fatigue, I'll take you home to take a nap and everything will sort itself out, although I did hope for something more substantial."

"I've told you, none of that" Ianto was shouting again.

Jack shook his head and turned to start the engine. Ianto jumped forward and stood between him and the wheel.

"No, it's too dangerous to go before we know more, we could be mauled by a raging crowd for all we know" Ianto was sweating from panic.

"Hey, hey" Jack reached out and pulled him in an embrace finally realizing to what point Ianto was scared "everything is ok, it's just emotions, it's not really much to go on. You're just slightly paranoid."

"No" Ianto pushed him away fiercely "It's not just emotions, things happened on shore, people were strange, but I was too preoccupied by getting back that I didn't pay attention."

"What kind of things?" Jack crossed his arms around his chest trying to take this seriously despite the fact that Ianto looked yummy even in his agitated state; it seemed like his every move provoked in Jack a new level of desire.

"First there was a car accident without any reason, on an empty road without traffic and it wasn't speeding or drunkenness, then there was broken glass, and the diner was robbed..." he stopped when Jack laughed out loud.

"What is funny?" Ianto frowned offended.

"I am, now you'll tell me someone was poisoned, and that you tripped, and aliens came, but you just ignored them to run to me" he smiled fondly, Ianto's frown deepened.

"I saw no aliens, but a man and woman in the diner talked about poison, and I did trip, how did you know?"

Jack went serious finally listening to Ianto.

"Ok, this is fishy, I'm not really physic, although I use that line here and there" he rubbed his jaw looking towards the city.

"Really? Why? It's not like you need it." Ianto was baffled.

"You'd be surprised. Besides it's a fun way to start a conversation, especially because most people are easy to read." Jack flipped his phone open. "Let's see if there is anything to it."

"How did you know about the poison and my tripping then?" Ianto asked while the phone rang.

"Don't know, but while you were ashore I imagined all those things, and now when I think of it, I felt a strong anxiety, but I thought it was because of..." he trailed off as Gwen's voice spilled out the speaker.

"Bugger off Jack" she shouted "not now, me and Rhys are arguing and I'm winning."

Jack raised his eyebrows bemused.

"What about?"

"Lamps, gotta run" she hung up on him.

"Well that was strange enough" Jack sighed "you did jinx us, and we're most probably under an alien attack. Let's try another one; maybe Gwen just has wedding jitters"

As phone rang Ianto lifted his arms above his head and pressed his palms against his temples. His jacket revealed trace of skin and his bottom.

"Don't do that" Jack growled "unless you want me to rip your jeans apart and devour you."

"Really Jack?" Owens voice came through the speaker as Ianto quickly lowered his hands. "We're not that friendly as I recall."

"You could dream" Jack sneered at him "where are you? It's loud."

"Oh nothing much" Owen answered cheerfully "Just sitting on top of a guy."

"Well good for you" Jack smiled.

"Not like that, you dirty bastard" Owen barked back "he's a lively fellow, I smashed a bottle on his head and he's still resisting. I gotta finish with him so I can knock down his pall that's waiting in line. You wouldn't believe how long a line for beating someone can be and they're coming, this is fifth one and night is young."

Jack's face went still as Owen spoke all cheerful and carefree.

"Owen listen to me" he lowered his voice hoping he'd get through to him "there is something going on, its poison, or wave lengths, but there is massive hypnosis on the move. I know it's hard, but you have to fight it and get going. We have to contain it before sunrise, when people wake up there will be riots, for now it's just bad dreams and few quarrels with the wake ones."

"Oh Jack dear boy" Owen replied gleefully "but they are not sleeping in their beds, they are walking around like mademen, it's really disturbing. We're locked the club, I can't go out there, they'll trample me. Besides it's fun here, they all want to be punched. This one is out" he shouted suddenly "next! The doctor will see you now. Wait a sec" Owen said and put down his phone. Jack could hear a struggle and in few moments Owen's gleeful voice was back.

"They go down so easily, like sheep, they want to be beaten, quite extraordinary Jack."

Jack took a deep breath.

"So you can't help us? There is no way to get to the Hub?"

"Nope" he answered, then Jack heard another bump "is that ok? Glad to help. Next!"

"So we're without a medic on this one" Jack murmured more to himself.

"Oi" Owen shouted insulted "I am a medic, I carry my gear around with me, you never can tell."

"You have a medical kit with you?" Jack lightened up.

"Yeah, today I was especially in the mood, with Beth breaking needles and all, I brought my needle kit, to test if women here are aliens... hm, maybe I wasn't in my right mind, now when I think of it." He trailed off sounding almost normal. "Another hit? No problem" the glee was back to his voice.

"Do you have a whole set? Can you run tests?" Jack closed his eyes summoning his patience.

"Of course, what do you think of me? When I do tests on people, I keep a log." He was offended.

"Great" Jack softened his voice like he was talking to a child "can you take your kit and offer that line of yours series of shots and tests instead of punches? I'm sure they'll love that, it's even scarier than getting punched."

"What do you say guys, anyone fancy a shot with a big sharp needle in the butt?" Owen shouted out, and was greeted with approval.

"Great, do that, I'll call you. Keep in mind you are under an influence, and if you get idea to start dissecting live people, or experimenting on open organs, just stop and don't do it. Ok?" Jack kept his voice soft.

"Sure boss. Who's first?" he shouted out and hung up.

Ianto watched Jack confused.

"What?" he rubbed his forehead. "It could happen; people are savages when they are stripped down to basic emotions. Did you hear how he sounded? It was mad; I thought I would never fear a cheerful Owen."

"I've heard everything, it was loud enough" Ianto pulled at his jacket like he wanted to stretch it further down. "So I was right."

"Yes you were" Jack sighed. "The streets are full of sleepwalking people or they are paranoid, scared, or overjoyed awake people. How do we drive through that to the Hub and not run over anybody. Besides, will it affect us to the point we can't drive?"

"We'll skip SUV, and take the boat to the plaza, get out there, and walk to the Hub." Ianto said simply.

"My brilliant one" Jack said and kissed him loudly on the lips. Ianto looked shocked by the gesture. "What's wrong?" Jack offered him a crooked smile and rubbed his sides, Ianto was silent. Jack felt his pulse rising, it was most alluring, Ianto like this, just in reach but so out of grasp. "We've got things moving, we could take a break before we rush in, make the most of it now." He leaned in and brushed his ear with his teeth finding a way to his skin, Ianto shivered under his fingers.

"No!" Ianto shouted and pushed him away with a blow.

"Hey, what was that about?" Jack was rubbing his sore shoulder.

"Nothing" Ianto turned around and started the engine. "We have to make move now. If this goes on I won't be able to think soon, and if I go your way we won't move from this spot for a very long time."

"How long?" Jack leaned against his back whispering in his ear. "Because I don't mind long."

"I know you don't" Ianto sighed leaning back on Jack for a moment, but he quickly regained his posture. "You have to call Tosh, remember, she might be alright."

"Nah, she'll be crying her eyeballs out" Jack answered distracted because he found exposed skin on Ianto's neck and tried to reach it with his lips, but he was chased away by a slap.

"Compose yourself" Ianto ordered him.

"See, that doesn't help, powerful Ianto drives me insane" Jack sighed.

"You mentioned some kind of protection that you have" Ianto looked straight forward, and Jack sulked for a moment.

"It's no fun" he sniffed "it makes me cold."

"At this moment, cold is good" Ianto growled "I would kill for cold" he added passionately.

"It would scare me dear" Jack said softy "that you would if I didn't know you so well. Ok, protection, here it is, cold and cool, Captain Jack on duty, Tosh, call Tosh" he rambled on wandering why his protection didn't work as well this time. It must be something big and powerful that could do this.

Tosh answered and as expected there was an interval of sobs before she could speak.

"Yes Jack?" she spoke up finally weakly.

"Those are not your emotions Tosh" Jack said gently "we're under attack of an unknown nature. Can you get yourself to the Hub?"

"No way Jack, I'm too scared, I can't walk." She whispered. "They've locked me away and threw the key, I'm never coming out, I've lost track of time. How long I'm in for? When will you come? Why are there windows in my cell, do they just tease me with freedom?"

"You're free Tosh, it's your apartment, you've been dreaming again" he said intently. "It's just that you were sleeping when the attack began. Can you straighten yourself out enough to walk, we need to trace the source of all this."

"No Jack, I can't, there are people outside" she whispered. "They look like monsters dressed up in Mrs. Libenstein, and Mr. Leutzig suits. I think they've eaten them up because they aren't moving, they just stare up at my window."

"Ok Tosh, stay put, we'll come and get you if we can" Jack sighed.

"No, then they'll take you too. I have my laptop, it's hooked up to the Hub, if you are there I'll do my magic" he could hear hint of a smile in her voice and he smiled with relief.

"That's my Tosh, we'll be there soon; I'll call you."

"If only Ianto was there" she sighed "he'd understand me, I don't know how I'm going to tell you the right wires and tools."

"I know my tools Tosh" Jack was offended for a second, but then his gaze dropped on Ianto's back and he could relate why would she put her trust in Ianto "He'll be there don't worry."

"I'm so glad we didn't lock him up after Lisa" she said with a sniff "it would be a shame. If he tried to do something like that to UNIT they would have tore him apart. Look what they did to me; just for inventing one small thing, they still have me locked up."

"They don't, I took you, remember" Jack reminded her.

"My knight in shiny coat" she laughed out loud "I was more scared of you than them in the beginning, I could understand them, but you always run away."

"I was trained to run. Go and invent something, I'll keep you safe" he said. She took a deep breath and hung up.

Ianto was tying their ship to the shore.

"I couldn't find anything closer" he said to Jack looking ahead.

"There you go again" Jack pouted "just jumping out, we could do something fun before entering all that."

"Fun later" Ianto's voice came out in short shouts "sort this out now. I have to get calm."

He looked around like a wild animal and Jack just wanted him to lose it and jump back into the boat. That didn't happen so Jack climbed out to face the wandering crowd of sleeping people in their pyjamas, with their eyes closed as they wandered around quarrelling in their sleep. They were shouting, crying, fighting and laughing, but no one woke up.

* * *

><p><em>Do review.<em>


	154. Panic

_A/N: here is Ianto cornered, enjoy._

_No spoilers  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian, it's our 100th chapter together, so thank you :)  
><em>

* * *

><p>Ianto felt surrounded by the raging crowd. He kept repeating to himself that no one was looking at him, and that they are far away from him but it didn't help. He kept expecting everyone to look straight at him and shout at him, running to tear him down.<p>

"Well now that we're here wouldn't it be best to go and get to the Hub" Jack startled him, showing up by his elbow. Ianto looked at him and his mind started to work again. It was Jack, he wasn't afraid of him. On shore his anxiety and fear became stronger.

"I can't move" Ianto managed to voice out to Jack. Jack looked him and smiled mischievously.

"I can carry you" he said with a growl in his voice "but I'll have to find a bed for us because you just look yummy."

Ianto closed his eyes as the images that Jack provoked evened out his fears, ignoring both sides of his feelings he was able to get a coherent thought.

"The Hub isn't far ahead" he said fixing his gaze straight forward "we just need to stay focused."

"All business again" Jack pouted "just my luck to be filled with stimulants and stuck with the one person that is resistant."

"Find someone else if you like" Ianto snapped at him finally able to stand up straight, his anger pushed the other emotions down "but we need to sort this out before dawn, remember. Raise your damn protection already?"

"That's no fun" Jack sighed "and I want you, I want to make you scream and beg to lose your senses, and sweat a lot." As he spoke he moved closer to Ianto like a predator, but Ianto wasn't unnerved by his approach. At contrary he found himself strangely calmed by that.

"Jack you need to think now" Ianto's voice was calm again, deep and reassuring. "We'll be better in the Hub, maybe the basement will protect us, and maybe Tosh and Owen thought of something."

"Yes" Jack sighed disappointed "duty, as always, nothing as tasteful as your neck." After that his face hardened and he grabbed Ianto by his upper arm and led the way towards that Hub.

As they moved purposely it seemed that the people in their sleep were attracted to them and soon they were running trying to shake the crowd that was closing in.

"I mean really," Jack panted as they closed Tourist office door "I love slumber parties as much as any other guy, but I prefer them to be pyjama-less."

Ianto just snorted at that and pushed the button to open the Hub doors, but he found himself pressed face to the wall.

"Fun now?" Jack whispered in his ear and Ianto felt a chill all over his skin.

"Move away" he said evenly.

"Why?" Jack whined. "We have a minute to spare... or two... or an hour, I would like an hour... or more..." he was cut down when Ianto shoved his elbow in his abdomen.

Ianto jumped towards the corridor when Jack moved away.

"What was that for?" Jack shouted when he got his breath back. Ianto heard his footsteps as he ran behind him, but he wasn't closing in on him so Ianto started to breathe again.

While Ianto waited for the cog door to open Jack stood a few steps behind. Ianto tapped his fingers against his thigh waiting.

"Sorry" he finally said when door were open and he could see the open space of the Hub. "Panic isn't really stimulating for me."

"Panic? What for?" Jack was baffled but Ianto just ran in and started to turn on stations.

"The sooner we fix this, the sooner there will be time for fun" he said looking at readings, the Rift was calm. Of course it wouldn't be as easy as shooting down one alien.

"Why didn't you say so" Jack lightened up and tossed his coat aside rolling up his sleeves "let's get down to business."

As Ianto looked at the readings and nonexistence of any abnormality he started to feel despair. He grabbed his hair and pulled until it hurt, but it didn't help.

"Ianto" Jack's voice pulled him out his trance, he sounded almost normal "won't you make us some coffee, dear." Almost normal, his tone was too lithe, too soft.

"I will" he answered letting his hair loose, he could feel how it stood up all ruffled, but he didn't care "but I can't fix this, I can't even see it."

"You don't have to" Jack continued gently "you don't have to always save everyone on your own."

"Now you're just mocking me" Ianto hardened down and he welcomed that anger, it made him think clearer. "Tea boy, that's all I am."

"Now that's just Owen talking" Jack shook his head and picked up his ear piece "come on say you have something for me." Ianto tapped his piece and tuned in. He listened in on Owen's ramblings about ways to insert the needle and what hurts the most. He stopped listening, focusing on coffee making; it was a task that always calmed him. It was something he could control completely.

When he was finished he just stood there for a moment inhaling the scent of coffee, it was most luring. As he handed Jack his mug their eyes meet and he could see concern in Jack's eyes. Their fingers touched and in a flash he remembered the burning of his skin when Jack touched him on the boat. He remembered his desire to pour himself in Jack and just stop thinking. It was most the seducing desire of them all, to just let go.

"So nothing biological?" Jack spoke up in his determined manner, taking his mug but not taking his gaze from Ianto.

"Nothing I could find" Owen cheerfully confirmed from the other side "and I can find almost anything. Just ordinary human blood, sure with high levels of oxytocin, testosterone, oestrogen', you name the hormone, it's elevated. Mix of emotions and urges in motion, but no sign of a trigger anywhere."

"Keep looking, maybe you just overlooked something." Jack instructed him.

"Hey" Owen shouted insulted "I know how to use my eyes, Captain-Know-It-All-But-Never-Sharing-It."

"Noted Owen, good work" Jack hung up looking exhausted. "Now will you tell me what that was all about "Jack nodded upwards towards tourist office "why panic?"

Ianto felt his shoulders lifting up and his spine stiffening.

"When I'm kicked in the gut I like know why" he continued as Ianto stayed silent "so that I don't repeat the mistake. When you live long enough, you avoid pain when you can."

"Panic and sex don't mix for me" Ianto answered curtly and continued with a sigh when Jack raised his eyebrows questioningly. "It evokes rape rather than arousal."

"Rape?" Jack frowned. "I didn't have the feeling that you..."

"No" Ianto shook his head "luckily no, but when you grow up like I did, in between, constantly attracted and scared at the same time, fear of violence and desire for touch get mixed up in very vivid nightmares and trepidation. It's not best of ideas to corner me when I'm like this."

"Good to know" Jack rubbed his thigh. "Is it wrong if I still want to strip you naked?"

Ianto looked down in a streak of desire wanting nothing more.

"No, it's not, but I would probably bite your head off if you did. Cookie?" Ianto turned towards the kitchen; there were chocolate chip cookies; that could help. There was a jar there; he stretched up to fetch them. When he turned around Jack was standing right behind him.

"I've told you" he growled "not to do that until we're better, I will tear your clothes off risking losing some limbs in the process. They'll grow again eventually, so it isn't such shame" he fixed his gaze on Ianto's collar bone.

Ianto pushed a cookie between them and Jack leaned forward biting it out of Ianto's hand.

"I hate you" Jack growled with his mouth full. Ianto just nodded pushing down the desire to jump on him and bite down hard in his shoulder, letting it all fall apart. Luckily the phone rang at that moment. It was Tosh. As she spoke, Jack leaned forward supporting his arms on both sides of the counter forcing Ianto to lean back. Ianto didn't listen, he focused himself on staying calm, but when Jack leaned in and inhaled deep, leaning against his neck, Ianto shivered. He wasn't sure if he would grab Jack and dig his fingers in his skin dragging him near, or if he would clench his fist and hit him hard in the gut, when Tosh said his name.

"Is Ianto there yet, he would know, Jack are you there?" her voice was filled with panic.

"I'm here Tosh" Ianto spoke up with a raw voice when Jack stayed silent. "Tell me what you need?" Ianto pushed Jack aside and strolled towards the tower.

"There is a wave source" Tosh said "It's stimulating our endocrine system. I can't locate its source exactly, but it needs a powerful antenna to transmit signal so strong to cover the whole city, or more, we can't tell how far it stretched. I checked most of transmitters in town, and they are all fine. I'm willing to bet our water tower is being used as an antenna; we just need to find a plug and pull it out. Like you did with the telephone from the wall, I wish I did that, I still have nightmares about creatures living in my bedroom."

* * *

><p><em>Feel free to leave me a note.<br>_


	155. Red wire

_A/N: Some source locating and skin craving :)_

_No spoilers  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>Jack followed the pale line of Ianto's neck as he talked to Tosh. He was tuned into their conversation, but he didn't really pay attention. There was talk about hormones, signals and transmitters, their tower. Jack let all that just pass him by. `Rise your protection´ Ianto demanded of him, and he did try. It worked for a second, but then it fell down and he wasn't willing to try again. This feeling was so sweet and alive that he wasn't ready to let it go. He wanted to savour its flavour and the rush that ran through his body. Strangely, enough focus of that feeling revolved solely around Ianto, his movements, his words. Jack watched him closely trying to find the source of that luring scent that was reaching for Jack.<p>

Despite the throbbing in his blood he restrained himself, his training in control served him well, besides, it always was more fun waiting, watching until your desire grew. Ianto spoke of panic, but there were no real danger for Ianto, not from Jack, because oddly his desire didn't contain anything violent. On the contrary he could say it was a tender feeling, something gentle, that's why he called him dear. He never used that word, it didn't become him, but now it just wanted to slip off his tongue.

He wanted to taste that pale skin, but he had to wait, Ianto was still talking fast and at the top of his lungs, the panic was still there. That's why he followed Ianto as he moved, keeping his distance, always two steps behind. He was waiting for Ianto's breathing to even out, his shoulders to slump down. Tosh's voice came out high pitched through the speaker, that didn't work to Jack's advantage. Sadly he couldn't turn her off because they had to save the world or something like it.

`If it's just Cardiff´ Jack mussed to himself `could I leave it on until I got enough of Ianto? ´ But he knew he couldn't, because he wouldn't ever get enough of Ianto. That made him sad.

Like he felt Jack's change of mood Ianto turned around and raised one eyebrow up. That lifted Jack right back up, he loved when Ianto did that, that little smug bastard. Jack smiled and Ianto got back to business. He opened up the Rift manipulator panel.

"It's got to be something you fixed" Tosh spoke sharply "it's not a coincidence that it triggered just after the repair."

"Great, now it's my fault" murmured Ianto.

"I didn't say that" Tosh sighed with fatigue "you couldn't know that a booby trap was set somewhere. You probably fixed a broken circuit that activated some ancient device."

"Booby trap" that got Jack's attention, "that sounds familiar" he said as he leaned closer to sniff at the back of Ianto's neck that was exposed when he leaned forward to get a better view. Ianto's hand reached back and slapped him away. Jack shook his head trying to focus, what had Ianto said recently, what creatures had come their way? Which one would use a booby trap?

Ianto and Tosh continued to talk.

"Ow" Ianto shouted and jumped back right into Jack's arms. "It short circuited" he said and showed his injured hand to Jack. He continued to explain to Tosh what happened and Jack rubbed the sore place, Ianto didn't move away. Jack focused on the shape of the bruise on Ianto's palm. Its crescent shape with small sharp spikes looked too perfect and it looked familiar, something from another life, maybe even before he died the first time, before he lost his name.

"That translucent alien" Jack spoke up, interrupting their conversation about ways to cut through the protective force field that seemed to surround one string of wires. "What did he look like?" There was a sudden silence that was filled with the humming of computers and ventilation. "The one that showed you Tosh's thoughts?" To his surprise Tosh started to laugh on the other side of the line.

"Translucent?" she caught her breath. "Only Ianto could write that report." She said cheerfully. "I surely didn't, it looked different to everyone. When it opened my mind it showed me how it looked to others. Ianto's vision was perfect, transparent skin that glowed, all minty green with blue veins. I wish I could look at world in such a way. Owen saw it like black lump that crawled on the floor, all rubbery like, I think he saw too many black and white old shows. Gwen saw a metal thing two feet tall, I think she just watched Transformers. At first I saw like a red meaty thing, all muscles and blood, but after I saw its different forms I couldn't locate it."

"How did you defeat it?" Jack asked calmly and with a low voice so he wouldn't disturb her giddiness, in her crying mood Ianto had to constantly get her back to the subject at hand. As he listened, Jack put his arms around Ianto surrounding him in a light embrace; he didn't looked alarmed by it.

"Oh it was easy" Tosh laughed again "once I realized it had no solid form, that it only transmits waves that produce images in one's head I just blocked that wave and it was easy to find, small round, and like a metal ball."

"Where is that ball now?" Jack continued to use his low tone despite the urgency that started to arise.

"Oh it didn't do anything else, it seemed dead, so we locked it in vault seventeen, turned on the cooling and catalogued it. It wasn't harmful really, more like some kind of trickster."

"Tosh, wave lengths that stimulates the brain, tricks, ring any bells?"

"Oh you think it got away?" she changed her mood to guilt.

"Well maybe, but it didn't get far, we should check on the vault, and where does exactly that wire lead?"

"Which one?" Ianto asked dryly and Jack's grin lit up.

"The red one in the middle" Jack said against his neck.

"Why that one?" now Ianto sounded irritated.

"Because it's red, and red is for blood like Tosh said, someone with a sense for good trick would use red to induce blood stream changes."

"Well when you say it like that, when it produced mental images did it use a grey wire." Tosh sighed on the other side. "Why do I hear you two with an echo?" she sounded alarmed. "Maybe someone is listening in; it sounds like its two sources of sound."

Ianto jumped away from Jack just as he pressed his lips against pale skin. Jack smiled.

"Don't worry Tosh, we resolved problem of the echo. Let's see if our friend is still where you left it."

* * *

><p><em>Leave a few words so I know you're there. :) Hope you enjoyed it.<em>


	156. Screams in the deep

_A/N: here we are after longer pause, hopefully I'll speed up now to wrap this up, only two episodes left now, although it is shown that I can make it a long two episodes, but we shall see_

_No spoilers  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>Ianto followed Jack as he paced through the Hub's corridors. He didn't hurry, in fact he was glad to let him gain some distance between them. Since they descended into the Hub he felt like he was daydreaming, everything looked surreal. It was ridiculous to think he came here to work every day, and still acted like a sane person. He should have given up that pretence a long time ago and just walk around naked, ready to be jumped. He wondered how come he loved that feeling while in a normal state, feeling that Jack could just reach for him, and he would have no choice to comply. Even now, when his skin felt like it itched all over, like he was irritated beyond any reason, he felt that if Jack imposed himself, Ianto wouldn't fight. He was very annoyed by that. He should find him repulsive, like he did most people when he was in panic. He just didn't like to be touched when he felt threatened. Despite that he didn't chase Jack away when he breathed down his neck, he wanted him to bite down hard and cause some real pain to chase away that unbearable feeling of horror that he couldn't see.<p>

He looked at his palm when Jack disappeared behind a corner. The sharp pain was still there, but it was strangely damped by Jack's touch, like Jack's hands left a print on him. Ianto wondered how it would feel to make love with Jack in this state of mind, would it be a terror, or delight, or both intertwined, and would he be able to recover from that experience. As he approached the corner behind Jack he paused reluctant to enter to his domain again, he felt almost safe out of sight, but again he felt so alone. Ianto smiled sadly, that was always true for him, it was safer to be alone, to be out of sight, unnoticeable, that way he didn't have anything to lose. He stood still trying to convince himself to turn back and just go out and find another life when Jack's head appeared round the corner.

"Coming? I was getting lonely in here" he said and offered him a crooked smile. Ianto let his lips to curve up; Jack was such a yummy sight in any circumstance. That's why Ianto moved forward. There was a problem that needed to be solved, he didn't move just because Jack watched him walk by and Jack did watch with such intensity that it made Ianto's spine tighten again. Jack diverted his gaze like he saw that in him and started absently unbuttoning his sleeves and rolling them up showing off his arms that Ianto loved. The sight of vulnerable skin made Ianto breathe again. It wasn't lust, it was just a reminder that Jack still could get hurt, that he wasn't invulnerable, that he wasn't impenetrable. That thought made him smile and regain a small portion of his control. It helped that Jack continued his almost unconscious ritual of undressing. There wasn't anything seductive about it, he did it all the time, in front of the whole team, talking, and thinking. Changing clothes was natural for him, he got dirty, or bloody so many times during the day that he just stood there bare torso and talked. Nobody reacted anymore; except Ianto, inwardly. Now his reaction wasn't one of arousal, but simple relaxation. It was Jack beside him, he knew Jack, he really did; the smell of his skin, and the touch of it. Jack stopped his undressing at unbuttoning his shirt and dragged it out of his pants. It was a ritual really, he had done it so many times, that it wasn't voluntary anymore.

"Here" said Ianto evenly and Jack punched his code. The vault slid open, but nothing was there... except round hole on the back of it.

"Mystery solved" exclaimed Jack.

"No, not really" grunted Ianto "where is it? What's it doing? What does it want?"

"What do you mean 'want'?" Jack frowned at him. "It doesn't want anything except chaos and mayhem. It isn't invasion, if that's what you think; this isn't what an invasion looks like. Everybody got their favourite drug, or emotions in an instant, without any effort. That creates a lot of energy."

"How do they harvest the energy?" Tosh spoke up from the line and Ianto jumped, he forgot anyone was listening in.

"They don't have to" Jack smiled "that's the beauty of it. They just create a diversion, something that would set people off track, and change the future, so they can feed off the possibilities, and never was... or something like it. You can never be sure with them, they always change."

"Who are they?" Ianto was annoyed by Jack's giddiness; he was enjoying this far too much. "A name would be useful, for the filling, if for nothing else, a comparison, have we encountered them before?"

"No, not really, we wouldn't be here if we did... or maybe we would" he pondered tapping a finger on his chin. "It isn't important in the end, we are in this specific time and place, and here are the people and lives we are trying to preserve to the maximum, we don't want this to drift into nothingness, for us to be somewhere else in next moment, without even remembering."

"Don't we?" Ianto asked quietly and Jack twitched in surprise watching him with horror. His change of mood was so sudden and deep that Ianto felt his panic turn to hysteria, like the floor opened up beneath him and he discovered that there were greater depths of horror and fear then he ever imagined them to be. He suddenly realized how much he had come to depend on Jack to persist, and to just be himself, so he ignored screams that seemed to enter his ears and crossed the distance towards Jack. It was like fighting against water, but he continued and laid his palm against Jack's chest. That made Jack breathe in and the next second his smile was back up like nothing had happened.

"Tosh what is behind this vault, there must be some conduit in the wall, and does it connect to any of power stations for the Rift Manipulator.

"Already on it" she said with her voice strained with sadness "but what if Ianto's right? What if we're the bad guys postponing a good change, maybe we would emerge in some better places."

Ianto kept his palm firm against Jack's chest. He felt his skin tremble with strain and he wanted to back off, but that deeper place was shut off and the screams were gone. He didn't take his eyes of Jack's face searching for that gap, for a horror deeper than anything Ianto had ever seen, even in the cabins of the cannibals. Jack kept smiling unchanged, steady. He winked at Ianto.

"Don't worry Tosh, in a parallel universe you're surely leading a life full of leisure, but that's not you. Our experiences define us, if this place was gone, the people we are, the things and decisions that make us would be gone too, we would be destroyed. Don't know about you, but there are some things here I wouldn't change, and that I wouldn't like to forget."

Ianto started to shiver, like a cold breeze washed over him, showing him an unknown future full of dark, and uncertainty, it smelled like death, but Ianto refused to look straight into that image, it was just an alien playing with his mind. He was here now; he was here for Jack, for Gwen, for Tosh, for Owen even, for Rhiannon, for his niece and nephew. They all needed him in their own way, and if he let himself drift, like he almost did a moment ago, he was sure all of them would cease to exist the way he knew them, the way he loved them. He frowned at that last thought looking at Jack's clear smiling face, no, he wasn't thinking about him exclusively. He couldn't, could he? Why would he love him? What did he do to deserve it? He left without a word, returned likewise, offered nothing, but then again, what did his mother say? We love people for who they are, not what they do. It seemed like an excuse at the time, but now it sounded differently.

"Corridor to the left" Tosh interrupted his train of thought and he and Jack moved from their spot running towards an alien Ianto knew nothing about. Ianto only hoped that Jack knew what in the hell they were going to do about it.

* * *

><p><em>Thnx for reading, do leave a note. bye<em>


	157. Barriers

_A/N: Some of Jack's running about_

_No spoilers  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>Jack ran, again. It wasn't anything new, even his pulsing erection that got burned with friction as he ran wasn't anything new. He's seen it all before, but feeling was fresh and new, like he's body forgot it all. Maybe it was closeness of losing was the fault maybe his body chemistry but he enjoyed the sensation, he was almost optimistic about their odds. After all everything depended on Ianto and that was a pretty good choice. Jack smirked as he ran; their fellow alien is in for a bit of surprise. He could sense it as they approached it. He felt tickles of his web that tried to stop them but Ianto looked like he can't even sense it. Only his frown got deeper with concentration. As they entered the room with power station Jack stopped in his tracks. He knew there was a shield against him in here somewhere and he wasn't going to ran into it and get himself unconscious. He's been there before.<p>

But he couldn't stand his clothes anymore so he got rid of few remaining parts.

"Really Jack?" Ianto spoke up with mocking in his voice as Jack grabbed edge of his boxers. "It's not best time to shag now?" there was a dose of uncertainty on end of that sentence.

"I like how your mind works, but I think it's awful hot in here... or is it just me?" with that he bent to get rid of last itching part of clothes.

"Trust me it's just you" Ianto deadpanned but his stare stayed fixed on Jack's lower parts. Jack grin widened.

"I appreciate the compliment" he said "but we need to find our little ball of trouble."

"Yeah" Ianto turned away to round battery station that was five feet in diameter "we'll spot it right away" he approached long conduct that ran from the wall and went into the turbines and he sat down looking tired.

"I think we'll be fine" Jack approached him and crouched down before him.

"Hey" Ianto backed away from shock "that doesn't help" he pointed at Jack's groin.

"What? This?" Jack looked down. "It's not like you haven't seen it before."

"Well" Ianto stuttered a bit "it's been awhile and it seemed like it grew since last I saw it properly."

"Maybe it did" Jack smiled mischievously and moved to hide his features. "Don't you think the conduct you're sitting on is big enough for certain ball to roll through it?"

"Yeah" Ianto murmured looking down on metal quadric tube feet wide "tree of them could have passed through there."

"Luckily we're dealing with a small one" Jack clapped his hands and got to the station. There were maintenance doors just above conduct, which was perfect, he almost laughed. "Open it" he turned towards unmoving Ianto.

"Why me?" he answered with stubborn defiance. Jack growled it wasn't the best time to get insubordinate now.

"Because I can't" Jack answered "just standing here costs me allot of uncomfortable heat, almost aching hard on, no, correction, aching hard on that I can't do anything about, and if I as much as touch that door I'll fell unconscious for who knows how long. So open the doors."

"Why is it so?" Ianto still didn't move. "How come I'm not that affected? What aren't you telling me?"

"Allot, trust me, just open the damn door" Jack persisted.

"I trust you on that" Ianto smiled "but why would I open them, last time I tempered with it I got burnt, what will happen if I comply, or what would happen if I don't?"

"Great time for philosophical questions and rebelliousness" Jack was exasperated.

"There's nothing philosophical about it" Ianto answered flatly. "You know, I don't, explain it to me, and I'll keep what you want off the records."

"Off the record? Really?" Jack was sarcastic. "How nice of you Mr. Jones."

"Coming from a man without clothes isn't really insulting" Ianto sized him up to his feet and back up. That made Jack laugh lustfully and his arm flung and hit invisible barrier. He stopped laughing instantly and jumped away from the station. Ianto was by his side in a moment inspecting his arm. There was a big crescent scar on Jack's hand, but it healed instantly.

"It doesn't always heal that fast" Ianto frowned.

"Only when its life threatening and this was" Jack sighed.

"How do you know it won't kill me?" Ianto was suspicious.

"You really think I would risk you?" Jack raised his eyebrows.

"Of course, for a good reason" Ianto shrugged his shoulders "I have no problem with that, but I just want to know what I'm up against."

Jack was speechless for a moment and then he gave in.

"You're a stubborn man Mr. Jones" he said with a grin and pulled him by his waist, there was a resistance, but he ignored it. "Kiss and I'll tell you."

Ianto hesitated for a moment and Jack knew just how deeply Ianto disturbed by this alien was. Finally he leaned in and placed short kiss on Jack's lips. Jack laughed once again and let him go.

"Only you can do this" Jack turned towards their hidden alien "no one else" he rose his hand to stop next question "it's simple, because you're the target, you have a connection to the creature, it feeds on you."

"But Tosh and others..." Ianto argued.

"Yes, but they have caved in" Jack said gravely.

Ianto rose his eyebrow sceptically. On that Jack grabbed him again and pulled him near.

"I said to you not to do that, my control goes only so far before I rip your jeans apart" he grumbled in low voice and felt how Ianto shivered under his palm. Yet he didn't let go because he discovered that his yearning decreases from contact, Ianto didn't struggled to break free so Jack leaned his burning forehead to Ianto's cold and sweaty.

"I doubt you could do that" Ianto stated defiantly and Jack smiled "you maybe immortal but you're not invincible."

"Isn't that the truth?" whispered Jack with sigh.

"Why is it so hard for you to just say what that thing is and get it over with?" Ianto sounded puzzled.

Jack tapped his earpiece.

"Tosh" he barked in the speaker and felt Ianto flinch "why is that only you know that alien thing is an orb, why doesn't it show in any of reports."

"Jack" she drew deep shaky breath "you're still there, I thought I dreamt you, and the Hub, I thought I'll die, I wanted to die, why didn't I... Nobody would speak to me latter, everyone were so angry with me for stopping it, they wanted it to succeed, it offered them what they wanted, another life, and it was too hard to write a report, I would have to say too much of all of us, it wouldn't ever be erased, and they wouldn't forgive me for it."

"Thank you Tosh" Jack said gently and tapped again "Owen why didn't you dissect that trickster alien that penetrated the Hub?"

"Oi Jack old mate, why aren't you out, all the women, and men are out and they are all horny just for you, like they are ready to take punch from me. I thought I imagined your invincible charm that I hate, guess not... alien" he pondered for a minute and then got angry. "Because Tosh torn him apart, it was such great specimen, I could have learnt so much form it... and she doesn't want to know, she just want to be safe." He finished with scorn; Jack was smart enough to hung up on Tosh before this speech.

"Anything new on samples Owen?" he asked tired.

"Blood samples, only that it got only crazier in past minutes, now everybody are pumped with adrenalin, if this keeps up I don't know what will be. Hope you'll save the day, it is you job to do so." He finished sternly.

"Of course it is" Jack said lightly and hung up. Ianto was still here.

"See it has mechanism that keeps information's from spreading. Even when it's gone it leaves a trigger inside of you to keep quiet. Gwen is gone, but if we could hear her she would have explanation of her own."

"What do you mean gone?" Ianto was worried.

"Intertwined in her life, that will happen if we don't act, I don't think she even remembers us now, soon Tosh and Owen will completely forget, they caved in, jumped in their lives outside of the Hub, and the crowd between them and us is there just to keep them away until they forget completely."

"Why am I here?" Ianto mumbled with a frown and Jack smiled.

"Really? Why are you? Didn't you feel the push to run away, to just lock yourself to your flat and forget about it all?"

"I did" Ianto confessed reluctantly.

"Why didn't you?" Jack persisted.

"You were waiting" he said now angry.

"And you didn't let that go" Jack whispered "you got through the crowd, and through the Hub and now you're here" Ianto looked like he'll punch Jack if he says wrong thing next so he changed course smoothly "that makes you only man for the job because you refused to forget, to lose your life and become someone else. That's why you can open that door and kill that alien."

"Kill? Isn't there another way?" he frowned and Jack kissed him on top of his nose, he was just so adorable sometimes.

"No, sadly. These creatures are harmless little predators, but once they go through training of Trickster Brigade there is no way back, they become insatiable."

"Like someone I know" Ianto deadpanned and freed himself from Jack's grip. "What do I have to do?"

"Open the door for starters" Jack smiled as Ianto removed his jacket, obviously someone got a little warmer.

* * *

><p><em>Please do review, more soon.<em>


	158. Torn apart

_A/N: thnx to my wonderful beta soon all of the story will be beta-ed, I'm so looking forward to that. Here is something a bit longer. Enjoy._

_No spoilers.  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>Ianto opened the door and behind it like it was expecting him was the orb. He felt really reluctant to touch it. It seemed like it was staring right inside of his head, and he could feel that didn't feel like it was about to lose. Ianto thought how it shouldn't feel threatened, after all it was only him that it was facing, and he is always hesitant with a gun, he just didn't like death. It was ironic considering it was his life's career cleaning up crime scenes, placing corpses, and cleaning immense amounts of blood from all sorts of surfaces.<p>

Still naked, Jack stood beside him. His nudity stopped bugging Ianto very quickly. It was strange, but it even helped with levelling the amount of his inner turmoil.

"What now?" he asked feeling a vast sadness inside of his chest, like he was completely hollow inside.

"Ianto" Jack's voice came out as a whisper and Ianto looked up to his face. There he found a naked emotion he couldn't really pinpoint, it looked like sadness, but there was more to it; there was guilt, and something tender. They looked at each other not speaking, not moving, and then Jack crouched like he'd made a decision. He took two things from his pants pockets. Ianto was baffled by the choice. He frowned trying to make sense of it.

"What, we'll coat it with lube to ease slicing it with a scalpel?" Ianto could only think of that combination.

"No" Jack laughed out loud "two separate things. The scalpel is the only thing thin enough to enter the crack on the orb, I think you can see it from where you are" Ianto could see a small notch on the perfect orb.

"What's that, the open button?" Ianto sighed now convinced they'd have to drown it in lube, surely it would be sight he'd never forget.

"No, that's the access point; you just need to hold scalpel in there for a half a minute and the orb will turn itself off."

"Seems too easy" Ianto argued "who would insert himself in such easy way of accessing it."

"No one" answered Jack sadly "the one who put it in the orb created it so he could easily disable the trickster if it started doing what he didn't like."

"So there's someone controlling it?" Ianto looked around.

"Surely there was the first time around, but I'm not sure now it isn't on its own. Just in case I scrambled its frequencies when I began to suspect what it was, so it is on its own, its master can't hear anything."

"Good, we wouldn't want them to see you naked" murmured Ianto focusing on the orb trying to ignore the sadness it provoked in him, he felt sympathy for the creature trapped in that thing, carrying out someone else's orders.

Jack chuckled to himself.

"No worries, I'm not shy" said Jack smugly and then paused "that is, if you don't prefer to keep me to yourself?"

Ianto shot quick glance towards him and shoved his hands in his pockets. That was not something he wanted to discuss, it wasn't like that would ever be possible.

"What's that lube for then?" he tried to steer them away from trouble, but he discovered it was in vain.

"It's for you" Jack grinned widely. Ianto gave him quizzical look keeping his eyebrow from lifting up; it seemed dangerous enough for now. "That is the choice, scalpel to disable the creature, or the lube if you prefer to forget it all, start fresh, I won't stop you. Just, if you do that I would appreciate one farewell shag, me of you that is" he looked down looking almost apologetic, only his grin spoiled that look "I've been looking forward to it for a long time, wouldn't like for you to bail without one last game."

"What's the difference?" Ianto felt anger towards him. "It's in vain, we'll forget it all anyway, it would be like it never was. You won't know the difference."

Jack smiled, but it was ghost of a smile, the sadness behind it was too deep to name.

"No, you wouldn't remember, but I would. I could not forget. You see, I'm like a fixed point in time and space; my time can't be changed, only circled. That's why it can't do what it usually does, change time itself, make a different history, it can only make you forget but everything you've ever done here will remain, all the people who were saved will still persist, everything will be the same, the Hub and me, only you three will have new lives."

Jack looked at the floor, Ianto looked at Jack. Ianto growled, he was annoyed with Jack beyond all means. Damn him and his choice. He snatched the scalpel from his grip and earned a stunned look. Ianto just glared at him and went to the station sitting on the conduit with one leg on each side. Really, Ianto thought to himself, like he could ever chose to forget that arrogant stupid face, more so when he was standing naked in front of him in all his glory. That made Ianto angry, how did he not know that Ianto wouldn't choose a new life. He considered the offered future with a wife and children when it was first time around, because Jack wasn't there, because he was tired of sadness. Sadness that now was threatening to suffocate him. The impulse to run was stronger with each inch that he leaned in, his legs started to tremble.

Jack didn't say anything, but he moved in closer and sat behind him placing his palms on his thighs, that helped with trembling but his hand was stuck above the creature like it was stuck in an invisible wall. Jack moved closer and pressed his length to Ianto's back. That pressure made Ianto inhale again, one aching breath to his starving lungs. Jack placed his burning forehead to the back of Ianto's neck. His warmth helped Ianto's muscles to find their grip again. The blade was still there in his fingers, he wasn't in his apartment alone cleaning up, he wasn't arguing with his unseen wife about the placement of her stuff, he wasn't exhausted on his sofa wondering what he was missing when everything was there, and he wasn't expecting danger where it wasn't, the danger was right here trying to steer him away to some unknown place and time.

He managed to move his hand a bit closer when new onslaught of images attacked him. It was more than images, it was like he was already there, and this time he could see the face of his pregnant wife. She looked up at him and smiled and for a moment Ianto couldn't remember anyone else, who he had loved, but then she stood up and her moves were all wrong. He didn't recognize them, the expression on her face was unreadable, wouldn't he be able to read person he loved, wouldn't he have catalogued every move she, or he made? He should feel the warmth of her approach, instead he felt hollow like he had failed someone, like he had left someone behind, someone who was now alone, sad and isolated, someone he knew how to get to laugh, someone he knew how to take care of, someone that made him all warm inside, someone different.

This was wrong; this wasn't the person he loved. In the next moment there was someone else, a man, a striking man who was looking at Ianto with desire and Ianto could see his appeal but he couldn't understand what that man would need of him. Sure a shag would be great, but what else, there must be something more he could give, something that only he could give, something important. Ianto felt there were a lot of things that man was missing to be right person, someone Ianto would go to any length to protect, because there was a strong feeling inside Ianto that he needed to protect someone. He lifted his hand to stop that man from approaching, he really hated to be touched by strangers, it was even worse than having to stand butt naked in front of a dressed crowd. Wasn't there someone butt naked recently, someone hard to forget... hard.

Ianto snatched back to reality holding the scalpel, he inhaled deeply and realized Jack had grabbed him by his groin and pressed against his pulsing part.

"Really Ianto why hiding" Jack whispered sending a breath down his spine "you're in need, I'm in need, we could take care of that before… our friend could have waited few minutes."

"No it couldn't" Ianto said in a strained voice, feeling resistance in his vocal cords but he kept talking, it helped him to stay here "this way, I have an anchor to get back to" Jack laughed lightly sending vibrations through Ianto's chest. Ianto's hand moved.

"Some anchor it is" said Jack pressing his hand against Ianto "I think it kept me in place for some time now."

"Flatterer" Ianto murmured "just words. I should just toss you aside when we're done here, you're made for roaming, I'm just dragging you down" he moved his left hand, quickly grabbing the orb that had started to move. His arm burned but he didn't let go.

"Oh, but roaming is overrated, while being down has its merits" Jack rubbed his nose against Ianto's neck and he felt all his hair stand up, he was still agitated, and contact with the orb only made his feelings ten times stronger.

"You say that so I will do this" said Ianto evenly closing in on the notch with the scalpel.

"And so I could see you naked" Jack said with a sigh, "since I got back there are always some distractions, dark, clothes, you sure have changed since I've left." There were real sadness in Jack's voice and Ianto hesitated for a moment, with Jack there would always be sadness, silence and the unsaid. But that was Jack. Ianto smiled sadly saying a silent goodbye to the unknown woman or man that could have been his to keep. He placed the tip of the scalpel in the notch knowing what he was choosing, a man who would never be truly his, but who would need him while he was there. Ianto knew that much, Jack needed him now, and he had what he needed. That would always be enough for Ianto. Soon he felt pressure leaving his hands, panic decreasing, and his legs relaxing. All that was left was an erection he was barely aware while his other senses were heightened. Jack breathed in deeply and moved away. He took the orb from Ianto's hand. Ianto's hands fell heavily down. He looked at the scalpel in his hand; there was no blood on it.

"Such a small thing" said Jack with a sigh.

"That means the tearing of jeans apart was just a false promise" Ianto found himself talking in deep voice, he wanted a distraction "orb talking."

There was a short pause, after which everything was ripped apart. Jack let the orb to fall to the floor and roll away, before it was out of sight the scalpel was out of Ianto's hand and in a few swift moves his jeans were torn into pieces, after that the same happened to the boxers and his shirt. He was naked in matter of seconds. Jack spun him around and lifted Ianto's legs on his thighs.

"I never give false promises about those kinds of things" he said in a silent growl and went for the throat. Ianto thought in a haze of excitement how he would have been really terrified just moments before, how he would almost die of fear when the scalpel left his hand. This way he wasn't even really surprised, he knew Jack well enough, but only now he become aware just how much he had began to trust him, even with a blade in his hands, a blade that had clicked as it hit the floor.

After moments Jack suddenly pulled away but only to take in a good view of Ianto.

"Someone's been good this year" Jack said appreciatively as he traced the line of his chest with his fingers.

"Again with the year" murmured Ianto but soon was silenced by a hungry mouth. He was more than willing to comply and soon he found himself with his back on the conduit that was digging in his back, his lower back lifted up like he was weightless and Jack positioning himself to enter.

"Ahm" Ianto tried to complain, to slow everything down a bit, after all it's been awhile, but Jack didn't listen, and soon Ianto didn't mind, all went smoothly.

"Seems I haven't lost the hang of it" Jack said triumphantly and all Ianto could do was to mumble in reply, but there was no time for relaxation because Jack swung him back up to his lap. "No sleeping on my watch" he said seriously "at least not tonight, I don't mind to sleep inside." With that he grabbed Ianto's back and set a pace that would make sleep impossible in any circumstances. Ianto closed his eyes and leaned his head against Jack's shoulder and let himself moan without restraint. He had missed this.

It didn't take long, it would be impossible to resist the urge to release the pressure, and soon they were panting, sweaty and naked in a cold moist basement. It was always like that for Ianto, no matter how high the excitement and pleasure; he would always land back in a practical reality and necessities of the body.

"You've cheated again" said Ianto into his shoulder not opening his eyes.

"Where did I cheat" Jack rose his voice in a familiar pouting.

"You used the scalpel, you didn't tear my jeans apart with your hands" Ianto answered evenly.

"I didn't say with my bare hands." Jack defended himself and Ianto could sense his smile on the back of his neck, and Jack's hands made circles on his back, he had to move.

"It was implied" Ianto persisted and earned one more tight embrace, after that he lifted his head up and looked around. "Look at all this mess" pieces of his clothes were everywhere.

"Well I was in a hurry" Jack grinned at him and leaned for a kiss just as their earpieces come to life. Ianto froze, he totally forgot about that, what if they hadn't disconnected them. Jack grinned widely like he had read Ianto's mind and considered it like a fun option.

They tapped at the earpiece and Toshiko's voice spilled in; she sounded normal, formal and talked fast, like she tried to compensate her earlier crying.

"Good you're still there, whatever you did it worked, the frequency is broken, people are going home confused, and everything seems normal, did Owen check in? Is he ok?"

"Let's ask" said Jack and called him.

"I'm just sorting the last things here" Owen's voice came in cold and controlled, nothing was left of cheerfulness "and I'm on my way with samples and test results."

"I'm already in my car, I can pick you up" said Toshiko and Ianto felt a cold panic creeping up his spine.

"Sure, I never drive drunk" said Owen seriously and gave her directions.

When they hung up Ianto jumped to his feet bewildered looking for anything to wear, it was futile search, everything but his jacket was in pieces.

"Calm down" Jack picked up a piece of his shirt and wiped their stomachs clean "you can borrow some of my clothes."

"No chance in hell" Ianto pressed a hand to his forehead "that's worse than being naked; I'll tell them that I was strongly repelled by clothes because of the alien."

"And that's very plausible" Jack nodded seriously, "look what happened to me, besides; they will be able to appreciate your hidden attributes." Jack reached out his arms to touch him but Ianto just slapped him away.

"That doesn't comfort me" he said and picked up his jacket, Jack stifled a chuckle.

"Or you could just go and put on the suit that's hanging in my closet" Jack shrugged his shoulders.

"Clothes... of course the Jonah case" Ianto clapped his forehead with his hand.

"The missing boy?" Jack was confused.

"Cover story, never mind that" Ianto started to turn towards the door but Jack grabbed him by his wrist.

"There is a time for one after shag kiss" said Jack with crooked smile "besides if I'm going to clean this and the video footage up I deserve some kind of gratitude."

Ianto looked around at the mess they made and threw himself at Jack for one quick kiss, but Jack would have none of that, he kept him steady to his side, and Ianto gave in to one long and heated kiss. It was Jack who finally pulled out. They looked at each other for a second.

"Clock is ticking" said Jack and Ianto got himself off Jack and ran like hell hoping they wouldn't come in just as he sprinted across the Hub. They couldn't make it so fast, but Gwen was nowhere to be heard of.

* * *

><p><em>I do love reviews :)<em>


	159. Hidden enemy

_A/N: and here we go further sorting everything after alien defeat_

_No spoilers (except maybe Turn Left from Dr. Who)  
><em>

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian  
><em>

* * *

><p>When Ianto was out of sight Jack looked for the fallen orb. Tricksters were infamous for their ability to play dead. That little piece of information had bothered him even through his sexual haze it put him under. In the first moments when he realized what it was he simply thought his team managed to kill it and that it revived from the vast paradox energy that was released when they finally ended it. But why would it wait until now, and Tosh's answer didn't offer any means of disabling it, so that left him with only option of it playing dead. But why? Only thing he could think of made him feel uneasy but all that had happened supported that theory.<p>

He found it entangled in his trousers. Jack grabbed it and scanned it with his wrist strap. He would have done it immediately if there hadn't been Ianto and his delightful distraction. He smiled at that notion, it was worth the wait but he'd surely have to do it properly soon on some soft surface so they could take some time. The Trickster was dead; all time distortions were gone from its surface. The Trickster lived in a field of time discrepancies that fed him while he waited for his victim. Jack put it down carefully and got on with putting his clothes on. No need for displaying his features further. Especially if he was right and he had a personal enemy he knew nothing about that was coming for him. This wasn't a random drop off of a Trickster to do his pun, it was targeted for Jack. The first time around it engaged itself with his team and probably realized that Jack wasn't with them. It exposed itself to Tosh and made her store it until his return.

That was only explanation because Ianto hadn't fixed anything that wasn't operational on the Rift Manipulator. Only thing different about yesterday was that Jack had passed that corridor with Owen as they searched for their chair to examine Beth and Jack was talking quite loudly because he was yelling at Owen when they made the wrong turn. He wasn't in best of moods.

From that moment until evening could account as time the Trickster would need to get through the wall and find right place to transmit his discrepancies.

The thing that bothered Jack wasn't the malice hidden behind it but the personal character of it all. His former partner would have had the necessary equipment and he would know how to use a Trickster but he didn't have the patience or the subtlety. No he was more of a point-your-gun-and- pull kind of a guy. He wouldn't send a Trickster to deprive him of company, to leave him alone. It felt like an overture to something bigger and Jack couldn't think of someone he had pissed of so much to go to such lengths. But there was time; it could be someone from his future.

He picked up Ianto's scattered clothes and grinned, it was a good move to leave him naked, and he loved to do that. He turned towards the upper levels leaving his grim thoughts behind, there was always the possibility he was wrong. Just as he threw Ianto's clothes in trash bin the cog door rolled open and Tosh and Owen entered arguing.

"No I'm telling you" Tosh was upset "it was a wide range beam and it scrambled our glands, it couldn't be deliberate in its consequences, it's like shooting blind at a city's length, we just passed by casualties."

"No I know I'm right Tosh" Owen didn't give in "we were their targets, the others were just in the way."

"I can't imagine someone being so wasteful and aim so wide just for us, it could have waited until we're all in and save itself the trouble. Hi Jack is that it?" She pointed at the Trickster in his hand.

"Yeah, dead, you should be able to open it now with the right frequency, and then Owen can do his thing."

"My thing, you mean autopsy" Owen snorted "you think there should be something worth examining in there." He was sceptical.

Jack handed the orb to Tosh and as she took it, a small part of Ianto's jeans that got attached to it fell on the floor. Owen crouched down and picked it up.

"Jeans" he murmured and looked up at Jack who was trying to make innocent face. "Really Jack? You really had to tear someone's jeans apart? How bad did it affect you? Did that someone live or there is a body somewhere? And where is Ianto?" There was accusation in his voice and Tosh looked around in panic. Jack opened his mouth to speak but somehow he came up empty.

"Let me guess you're in desperate need of a coffee?" Ianto's ironic deep voice came from up the staircase and Jack smiled at him, he really had excellent timing. He descended down the staircase looking spotless in his immaculate suit.

"Of course" grunted Owen "I've gotten worried for a second, but naturally our Tea Boy doesn't do emotions. The whole city is raging with emotions and he hasn't even crumpled his suit."

"I never crumple my suit" said Ianto with small smile and went to the kitchen area.

As Ianto passed by Jack took the piece of jeans from Owen's grip.

"It's just a small souvenir and you will have something for the autopsy" Jack put blue piece in his pocket thinking how it would fit into his box of pictures, it was a good memory of how he didn't get to be alone for once. In that moment the cog door rolled open again and Gwen raced in.

"Guys I'm so sorry" she started immediately "I don't know what came over me, I got into an argument with Rhys and just couldn't stop. Did you fix whatever was? I won the argument and remembered that I just hung up on you, but I had to put Rhys to his place, sometimes he thinks he's the boss, you know." In the process of entering she took off her bag and jacket and did her usual movements and Jack was glad she was still the same. She stood for a moment waiting for a reply. "Well what was it?" She looked at them expectantly with the glee of victory still on her face, fresh and good, Jack was reluctant to take that away from her and tell her that her fight and victory were alien induced. Owen turned in his chair and looked at Jack questioningly; they did that sometimes, hid things from each other just to mess around, like when they hid the sources of some of messes they brought from the field from Ianto, Jack shook his head slightly and Owen turned to her with a wide smile.

"Oh nothing, same old, same old" he said and then they heard a small hiss of changing atmospheres as Tosh opened the orb.

"Yuck" she said instinctively "it's a bug."

"An enormous bug" Gwen flinched back.

"No, it's quite small" said Jack with a smile looking at the creature big as his palm "they tend to grow quite big, sometimes human size."

Ianto came in with their coffees.

"At least it's not sticky with poisonous skin" he pointed out practically.

"No, it's a beautiful specimen" said Owen with true amazement and pulled it out with his gloved hand from its container. It was a black creature that resembled some of Earth's insects but his purpose was far more complex. "Are they intelligent?"

"No, I don't think so, not in our sense anyway. They just feed off spoiled time and there are many people that like to use that to cause mayhem."

"How do they choose their targets? And how do they spoil time with that machine?" Owen was intrigued as he carried the creature to the autopsy bay, they followed him.

"No machine, it's just a shield, like a ball people put their hamsters in, when they are bigger they move around with invisibility of their own because they aren't in sync with standard time, you can see them only when they die, see properly. That's why the orb, it is easier to control them. The grown creatures are difficult to control and are used only by the crazy few that like to change the universe at any cost. I think you'll find its insides are interesting if not beyond comprehension because they feed off time energy, nothing else." Jack leaned on the rail while the others listened; he loved those moments when he was free to disclose something from future that he was sure wouldn't scramble their lives.

"How do you target something like this?" Owen put it on his table and made the first soft incision. "Everything is dry in here" he said with surprise "like someone arranged everything in perfect order and nothing has a need to be moved at all."

"You were right" Jack admitted with a sigh "You were the targets, the others were just in the way, literally, it gets attached to someone's voice pattern and it connects with the person so it can follow wherever they go and do its thing."

"Told you" smiled Owen "it did control us, to do what it wants."

"I can't believe that" Tosh crossed her arms over her chest in defiance "the wave was too simple to be real mind control."

"It wasn't mind control, the Trickster is too chaotic to need to control, all it needs is to change one small decision, one small fact and everything else changes making a completely different life and a lot of wasted potential to feed off of." Jack took a deep breath knowing he was approaching a dangerous zone of answers.

"What it was then? What that wave did?" Tosh looked at Jack. "We did act differently."

"What did you do?" Gwen was smiling. "Walk around naked?"

Owen rolled his eyes.

"That's the only thing you could think of?" He said shaking his head.

"Yes we did" Jack continued to talk to Tosh smiling a bit and Ianto busied himself with straightening up their desks "but only according our own set of emotions, it only brings out other possible responses that are ours and they create a new destiny that is designed from those emotions, so when everything changes you forget that you ever reacted differently to the world."

"Great, I'm a brawler in another life" grunted Owen placing the Trickster's insides on the tray.

"Lucky you" said Tosh and shook her head heading back to her station.

"How did anyone realize that anything changed if they were just your emotions at different odds, I wouldn't have noticed, emotions change all the time" Gwen asked simply. Owen raised his head and Tosh stopped at her station.

"Really how did you realize it, when you called I thought it was a night like any other, even then everything looked as it should." Owen was puzzled.

"I didn't notice it" said Tosh quietly.

"I did" Ianto spoke up suddenly, smiled his tight smile and turned to pick up some more trash.

"Of course" snorted Owen "that you would spot an emotion if it turned up."

"Owen" Tosh warned him quietly "we should be grateful."

"Maybe" grunted Owen and Ianto paused for a second looking at Jack with a question.

"What would happen to you" continued Gwen excluding herself and that made Owen grin "if you didn't stop it?"

"Oh nothing much" said Jack cheerfully "you would all have new jobs by now."

"Ha, ha" Gwen took it as a joke and went to her station taking that as a signal that the time for answering questions had passed.

"Damn" Tosh shouted hitting her keyboard.

"What is it sweetie?" Gwen approached her.

"I'm looking for the footage of how Jack stopped that thing but all I get is snow, like everything was scrambled, I will have to check equipment again, why do those cameras act so crazy, you would think someone is hiding inside of the Hub."

"Don't ever say that" Gwen was disturbed.

"Don't worry about that" Jack offered her a smile "it's probably just our Trickster he loves his privacy, probably just didn't want for us to see him naked." His eyes sought out Ianto and finding him shaking his head in disbelief and Jack decided to correct Tosh's wrong assumption that he stopped Trickster. "Besides, I only..." Ianto straightened up suddenly and looked at Jack, he shook his head slightly which confused Jack, he didn't want for them to know it was him who saved the day. "Talked it to death."

"Jack" Tosh gave him serious look "we'll have to document how it can be disabled."

"Don't worry, I'll show you, later" he put his hands in his pockets feeling the fabric inside. "Ianto, could you bring some of your coffee magic upstairs" Ianto looked at his untouched mug by his side "this one is too strong, I've had enough stimulants for one night." He smiled deviously and earned a glare.

* * *

><p><em>Ok, if you didn't remember, I've turned my alien into part of Trickster Brigade from Turn Left episode of Doctor Who. I've spotted a room to navigate so I gave it some input of my own. I just love that episode.<em>

_Do review.  
><em>


	160. Other lives

_A/N: here conclusion of the Trickster chapters and then off to Tosh's sleeping soldier_

_No spoilers_

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian_

* * *

><p>As Ianto put on his clothes he was very tempted to use the shower. It had been a long night full of fear and sweat and not only fear induced sweat, he was in need of a shower but he didn't dare. Getting out of Jack's man hole was tricky enough without having wet hair and an air of shower around him. He got out unnoticed just in the nick of time to stop Jack from blurting out something suggestive and stopping Owen before he could really get worried about Ianto. Owen would never forgive him for that. This way he got to mock him a bit more and Ianto got to answer how he never got his suit crumpled. That would soon become an ironic statement because he'd end the day in his undershirt even more in desperate need of a shower, but they needed to get to the new day for that. For now there was a cleanup and the discovery of a new type of time-bending bug. Nothing out of the ordinary, but then Jack explained further what would happen if the trickster succeeded and that made Ianto worry a bit. Sure, he refused a wonderful new life without strange aliens, vomit, blood, other diseases and ways to die, for this one where he cleans up after everyone and gets to shag Jack sometimes, but he didn't realize he was choosing for them too. He felt guilty for that. They were miserable tonight, but who could say they would be other days too, everybody had a bad day, some other job, another destiny would give them more company maybe. That made him unwilling to disclose his part in whole matter. Jack owed him that much and luckily it seemed he understood Ianto's silent plea. He made the decision himself so Ianto wouldn't be forced to tell all the details of his experience with double lives.<p>

Jack ordered another coffee from him so he went to his office and put it on the desk planning to make quick getaway, he didn't need another reason for them to pry some more into the details of this evening.

"Ianto" Jack called out for him as he approached the door, he wasn't so lucky to get away quickly. He sighed and turned around, Jack looked at his papers. "Would you care to elaborate why I lied downstairs and why would I have to lie in my report. Just curious I guess, after what you did, you have a right to be a bit odd about it."

Ianto shoved his fists into his pockets and took a deep breath. There was no point in dodging the subject.

"As a matter a fact I don't feel all that comfortable about the whole thing" he said with a slight stammer tripping over his own words "it's one thing to chose for myself to stay down in this gloomy reality, but to do it for others..."

"Gloomy?" Jack shot his eyes up looking a bit offended.

"Well there aren't many widows, are there?" Ianto pointed out the obvious.

Jack looked around and agreed with a shrug of his shoulders but then he lay back in his chair lifting his feet to his desk.

"What exactly are you saying Ianto?" he had his undivided attention.

"Sure they were in bad shape tonight, but we all have bad days, maybe I denied them... a better life" he offered carefully "that doesn't feel like a victory to be congratulated."

"So you pinned it on me" Jack joined tips of his fingers and watched them thoughtfully.

"I didn't mean it..." Ianto trailed off lost for words. It was true, he just didn't want to be one to blame. "I'm sorry, I panicked." He resigned. Jack watched him for a moment over his fingers and then flashed him with a smile, but somehow it felt hollow.

"You sure did that a lot tonight" he sighed and threw his feet off the table with a thump "but you preformed perfectly and there is no shame in what you did. But I understand I don't want them to understand too much what had happened, the human mind is a fragile thing." He went back to writing his report. Ianto didn't move.

"Ok, what does that mean?" Ianto finally spoke up when it became apparent Jack wasn't going to say anything else. "How do you live with these kinds of decisions every day, not knowing if it was the right choice?"

Jack only lifted his gaze shooting at him through his eyebrows, looking serious. Ianto thought he'd just send him away to do his thing, cleaning or something else.

"Because I have to" he said evenly with a strain in his voice "there is no other choice for me, but to do what I see is right. Of course I think I've got it wrong sometimes, but that makes us question and be more careful next time, besides, there is one thing on my side."

"What is that?" Ianto encouraged him when he paused; Jack looked away looking towards the wall.

"I don't know the future, I just don't know, so I can act freely. Only when you know the future you're a slave to it. That is the reason I keep myself on the side lines; here I'm free to make a choice, the right or wrong one. That's how we live, knowing we did what we believed to be true, that is the only freedom that has any meaning." Jack's gaze fell to the desk surface looking at nothing. Ianto approached a step closer and put his fingers to the surface an inch away from Jack's hand, Jack didn't move but that was ok, he was here, they weren't sent off to find some unknown life.

"So I can say to myself that the other life would have been very, very rubbish, something so foul that Weevils, Blow Fish with guns and tentacle creatures look like mannequins for sportswear." He offered lightly and after short surprise Jack burst into laughter.

"You do that magnificently Ianto" he said with a grin that wasn't hollow "yes, you can say that to yourself."

Ianto nodded and went for the door. Just as he reached the corner Jack's voice stopped him.

"Because it's not far from the truth" Jack's voice was quiet "tonight wasn't a bad day for them, this would be the good one. Tosh would have ended up making a ritual suicide, Owen would find he had lost his licence for killing someone on the table during his drunkenness, Gwen would grow into a bitter and angry woman. You see, trick is with those other lives, they aren't designed to your actions, they aren't made to serve the one that was kicked out of this life, but to make mayhem and to hurt, and even when those lives aren't terrible ones, like Gwen would get, something very ordinary, there is always the feeling of missing out on something, something that is lost never to be returned, and that is a horrible way to live a life. So you did good Ianto."

There was a deep and sharp end to his words and Ianto didn't dare to look back, he just turned his profile to Jack, seeing him on the edge of his vision.

"And me? What would be my horrible end?" Ianto's voice came out almost as a whisper, he wanted to know. There was a pause, like Jack is deciding something.

"No horrible end for you Ianto" he said gently "you would do just fine in that other life."

"Why?" Ianto turned around with a frown confused "what is different about me?"

"You know how to survive" Jack answered calmly "it's that simple, you would just take that life and make it your own, and put aside anything that you might be lacking because you're used to that, to lacking, aren't you Ianto?" Ianto felt his anger rising up again, there was a trap inside those words but he just couldn't pinpoint it and that made him mad. Jack searched his eyes and he smiled sadly like he knew it wasn't enough, he continued with a sigh, like it pained him to do so. "That's why I had to let you make your choice, to take the burden of deciding, because I couldn't bare such weight, to take that normal life away from you."

"So you could..." Ianto trailed off.

"If I saw that you would have ended horribly too, I would have just taken your hand and forced it down, one more death with electricity wouldn't mean much to me at this point." He said simply and waited. Ianto clenched his fists and went towards Jack suppressing his voice from shouting.

"How could you do that Jack? I could have given in to those images, it felt so real, I could have doomed them all too awful lives just to get some... fake life, manufactured memories, Tosh could have died because of it. How could you let me chose that?"

"Because I don't know the future Ianto" Jack said with a bitter smile looking down "for all I know you could all die tomorrow, all dissected, pinned down in pain and agony, we all could burn alive, end up hating everything we did because world changed on us and we ended up like bad guys. I just don't know if this better or worse than things I've seen through the trickster, I just know this is our choice, we brought ourselves here, and that is more than enough for me."

Ianto backed away a step feeling how Jack's world view took hold of him, it was a terrifying place to stand, like he was on a roof top looking down at the pathways of their lives, did it look like that for him all the time, it seemed overwhelming.

"You really would have let me pick that other life?" It was more astonished statement than a question, he got used to seeing Jack as the one who would always made a decision, the one who knew where to turn rather than stand aside while others chose.

"It seemed like a pleasant enough life, it's a win and lose ratio I could live with; sometimes you just have to cut your losses."

Ianto pursued his lips and put his hands back to his pockets. If he let them he wasn't sure would he punch Jack or hug him, probably both.

"I wouldn't make a habit of believing passing bug aliens stuck in a small ball" Ianto said "it seems like they don't have windows in there, it messes with your mind, windows are nice, you get a lot from looking through windows." With that he retreated walking backwards, Jack frowned with an uncertain smile.

"Sound advice" he said seriously. "Is that an invitation for something fun against the window?"

"Best one" nodded Ianto "maybe, if you behave, I believe I was angry at you for something" Ianto pondered "and according to Tosh it was before the wave began, so..."

"You could refresh my memory later on" Jack's smile became lascivious and just as Ianto prepared something to say about refreshing when he bumped into Gwen as she came around the corner.

"Ianto honey" she said "watch your step."

"Sorry" he mumbled and hurried out. He straightened his suit deciding that everything worked out fine in the end and that's all that mattered. He was still there, and Tosh, Owen and Gwen were themselves too so he'd do what Jack suggested; he'd call it a win. Besides there was nothing to be sorry about, whatever Jack saw in that other life he couldn't see behind Ianto's perfect front, there are different levels of misery and satisfaction. In this stage of his life he called himself satisfied with work, life... and sex, in that glimpse of another life he would look fine and act like he should have, but there would be always be a crack behind it, he would always feel that everything was just plain wrong, that those around him weren't the ones he really learned to care about.

* * *

><p><em>Please do review, it makes me smile :)<br>_


	161. Chaste kiss

_A/N: small intermezzo between adventures_

_Spoiler alert: Something in the Water (if you didn't read it just skip through first paragraph and you'll be on the safe side)_

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian_

* * *

><p>By the end of the day everything seemed less important to Ianto. Especially after it seemed like Jack spoke as a prophet when he told him they all could die horribly by tomorrow. It started as an ordinary inquiry but it ended with water hags penetrating the Hub, Jack pulling a disappearing act, and all of them, the men had been impregnated in their throats by the awful creatures. Worse than all that was that Ianto ended up in his undershirt almost collapsed with the strain of coughing, shooting at water hags that seemed everywhere. But Jack managed to perform his Harkness magic and they all pulled through. When everything was sorted Ianto went home without a goodbye to trash his crumpled suit, take a long shower and to sleep for hours. This time he did turned off his mobile, unplugged the landline from the wall, lowered his shades and crawled naked into his bed not willing to be woken up for anything less than the end of the world, and maybe not even for that. As he fell asleep he thought how he couldn't make that 'Die Hard' look a habit and how he'd go tomorrow to buy a whole new edition of James Bond to make up for the damage done by this day.<p>

He was woken at some time, it seemed too soon, but it was already dark outside. He was disoriented for a moment but then he spotted Jack's shape sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Sorry" he said with a whisper when he realized Ianto had woken up "when I finally sorted everything out I realized you were gone already so I panicked a bit. Everything alright?"

With that he reached out and put his hand to Ianto's still sore throat. Ianto made confirmative noise not really awake wondering why Jack wasn't naked.

"Things got a bit crazy yesterday, maybe I was again too... bossy?" there was a dose of uncertainty in Jack's voice and Ianto's mind finally came to clarity. He was mad about something before.

"No" Ianto said with a growl through his throat, he noticed with a small spike of envy that Jack was all repaired and flawless again "it was good, you listened to my suggestion in the end, and did stop to check on me. That was more than expected on a day like this. Will you lay down and let me sleep or are you just going sit there staring? It's disturbing to sleep like that." He moved to make some room in his bed.

Jack thought about it for a second and then got out of his coat and clothes. Soon he was under the sheets, all warm and there. When he reached downwards Ianto growled.

"Oh just sleep" he said as he let himself drift off again leaning against Jack's chest "maybe in the morning if you don't disappear again."

To his surprise, in the morning Jack was still there and he was sleeping. Ianto smiled feeling silly to be satisfied with that. It earned Jack a good round of sex, and he stayed for breakfast. As they ate Jack started to look restless, like he'd get up and run. Ianto didn't force conversation during the morning and now he was reluctant to break their comfortable silence, but if he didn't Jack would nod in a few seconds and be out the door.

"It's Sunday" Ianto said clearing his throat, it was better this morning.

"Yes I believe it is" Jack lifted his head leaning it to the side slightly cautious, like he was expecting a trap "what, you have to go off to church?"

At that Ianto threw his head backwards and laughed out loud. It made his throat sore again so he ended it with a cough.

"Glad to entertain you" Jack said now more relaxed in his chair gripping his cup of coffee more firmly. "Then what about Sunday?"

"You always say that anything interesting happens on Sundays" said Ianto with a smile, thinking how strange the desire was just to reach out and caress his face. Surely the sun was to blame; it made it through the curtains and set a line on Jack's face.

"Yeah, even the Doctor avoids them, he can afford to skip them" Jack snorted lightly, there wasn't anything bitter in the statement, only a fond memory.

"Well, then we could do what people normally do" said Ianto feeling like he was stepping too close to a forbidden area.

"What do they do?" Jack's grin went wider and then, to Ianto's surprise he reached across the table and caressed Ianto's face with tip of his fingers.

"They watch TV" he said hiding surprise with a smile "that's why they don't think of new trouble."

Jack looked over at the turned off television screen and looked thoughtful.

"I could try that" he said "maybe it's time to get with the time, not to wait to TV-chips and dream-movies."

Ianto raised his eyebrows.

"Maybe, anyway it sounds disturbing. I like to have a remote to turn the damn thing off when it starts to get annoying." He collected the plates and went to the kitchen.

"Yes, a remote probably sounds comforting. Let's try that. Should we get naked?" He leaned against Ianto as he put his plate in the sink.

"No" said Ianto determined, pushing Jack away "clothes on, the point is watching, not just making background noise."

"I love background noise" said Jack with a grin, but he complied. After a small adjusting they settled on the sofa. After some more shuffling through the channels they found something they both could watch. Surprisingly it was a makeover reality show.

"It will be good to see how benign it looks now" Jack said and scooted closer. Ianto had no objections.

In the end they watched more TV shows and quizzes than Ianto could have expected and ended up lying on the sofa as Jack spooned him and lively commented on the clothes, style and some odd behaviours he found normal, they even found a bowl of cookies. Sure they ended up naked, but that was just a bonus. Jack even agreed that Bear looks hot, but he disagreed about grossness of his food choices.

"I've had much worse" he said unimpressed.

Finally Jack did turn away to check on some minor alert from his wrist strap, but when he left it was already dark.

"We should do this again" he said getting into his coat "it was fun." With that he placed a short kiss on Ianto's lips and was off with a slam of the door.

Ianto stood in the middle of his living room and felt his cheeks go warm. It was slightly embarrassing just how much he liked that afternoon and even more how he reacted on Jack's chaste goodbye kiss. He looked around. His flat could use some cleaning. He got out his gloves and cleaned up his apartment. When he was done, he was satisfied and ready to sleep some more.

* * *

><p><em>* Bear is Bear Grylls from the survivor show, I've already made boys talk of him before, so this is aftermath<br>_

_** watching television on Sundays is actually mentioned in the book In the Shadows so I had to implement it to make that stick, its not just indulging my fondness of domestication :)_

_***watching Bond movies is also mentioned later on in Trace Memory so it seemed like good spot to buy new blue-ray collection for that James Bondathon :)  
><em>

_****do review _


	162. Words that matter

_A/N: some of Jack's thoughts about past and the future_

_Spoilers: To the Last Man_

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian_

* * *

><p>Jack ran following the alien spike but the residual energy faded fast and at the spot there was nothing to be seen. But still, there was something intangible, something almost familiar that he couldn't pin point. He looked around at the few passing humans but none of them had any trace of anything strange about them. Still, the feeling bugged him. After awhile he gave up and went back to the Hub. Tomorrow they got to wake up their frozen soldier. Tosh would be all giddy, that was always a fun sight, she'd been serious and flat too long. It was like the good humour had been drained from her. Jack could understand that, their job didn't make them a cheerful lot of people; there was too much death around. They coped using their banter and humour so it was important to keep it at a certain level. A few looks from Tommy boy's pretty eyes would help with that, he knew how to keep things light and how to light up Tosh with a few lines.<p>

That was a good plan, it was a shame it all came down like it did and they had to use Tommy to close the gap. But his Tosh was a big girl, she knew how to do the inevitable and carry on, that was their job. Maybe that was the price for the things they had done, the people they sacrificed to be here, the lives they didn't lead. He didn't see that price as a punishment, although sometimes it felt that way and he would love to give Tosh her happy ending, more as a necessity to stay focused. But that didn't mean they weren't allowed to love along the way. The fact that love didn't last more often than it did only made it more precious.

That reminded him to be more careful towards Ianto. In his stride to do the job he could make people feel excessive, not essential. That's why he was aware enough to say the right thing when Ianto came in questioning. That was rarely the case, for him to say the right words at the right moment. More often he would miss out, be too late, or simply be distracted.

Not this time. This time Ianto came in with a question about regret and past. He thought he'd dismiss it with a joke.

"Why? Would you miss me?" he smirked half amused but still preoccupied with reading what his predecessors left for Tommy; he hated that pair, they were ruthless and stuck up. But Ianto didn't take the bait and backed away with a retort, so Jack found himself thinking about a real answer instead. Did he miss home? He discovered inside himself that he felt this place as a home now, old planets and places seemed so far away. His experiences and travels took him further than he could imagine in his wildest dreams and along the way he saw things and met people he wouldn't like to miss out on. This was his life now and he'd gotten to the point where he could accept all the prices that went along with it.

That's how he found himself explaining to Ianto what he would have missed if he hadn't travelled all way, but just skipped the painful parts, he wouldn't be the person he was now, he wouldn't care as much. In the middle of the sentence about the love he had along the way he looked up to Ianto and in a split second knew, by the way he looked at the surface and avoided contact nodding, that Ianto didn't include himself in that category of the loved ones in Jack's life. That's why he waited for a moment for Ianto to lift his gaze up to meet Jack's, and only then finished his sentence to ensure Ianto realize that he was loved more than Jack expected he would be.

"And I wouldn't change that for a world" he said sincerely, he wouldn't give up all that life and love, all the passion that came with beautiful people, with Ianto especially. For a reward for his great timing he got the kiss of a life time. One that felt like it would last eternally engraved in the mind and a sense that stays with you, and can be recollected even when time erases all the rest. It was substantial kiss and it led to more so after their position became uncomfortable Jack stood up not letting go of Ianto's mouth and led him down to the bed. It wasn't sex with games and rules, it was making love. Jack loved to make love so he forgot about their current mission and where they were. There was a movement and passion and that was enough to fill some immeasurable future of pain with a bearable balance that made everything worth it.

When they were finally exhausted Jack pulled Ianto to his chest.

"Stay" he said before Ianto could think of some way to wiggle out. Ianto eased up in his arms silently agreeing. Jack covered them and ruffled Ianto's hair until he fell asleep. Jack stayed awake thinking about the past and the future, about the cracks in time and the sacrifice Tosh would make, but all that time Ianto breathed beside him heating him up and wriggling in his sleep as he dreamt. That made everything less sharp and painful. When everything was done they would still be there for Tosh, and even harsh Owen will surely find a way to help her get over it. Whatever he did usually, when it was tough he knew to step in and say the right thing.

Sometimes that was all that mattered, the right words at the right time. With that he placed a kiss to Ianto's forehead. It was strange really, how this young man became close to him. It wasn't strange when you would think about all the essential things he did for Jack and all the times he did the right thing. But it was strange how he managed to do the right thing so often. It was like he had a guide book to complicated and moody persona of the man who carried the name of Jack Harkness became in more than a century of life. People would most commonly be attracted by his charm and delighted by his lover's skills, but soon enough dejected by his secrets, run-offs and recklessness, especially by his harsh decisions in terrible situations when he would do what was necessary.

But Ianto was somehow different. He wasn't impressed at all by his shiny persona that flashed around with a smile; more often he was annoyed with it and with a retort that would cut him down at hand. Something else kept Ianto at hand, it seemed like he understood the necessity of hard choices, the tool that those have on life and feelings. Still, beside the harsh parts and painful events, Ianto found something in Jack that appealed to him; something that made Jack desirable even in situations when world fell apart. That didn't go by unnoticed by Jack, but he couldn't figure out what it was that Ianto saw in him, what was it that stayed beautiful and unscratched by years and years of decisions and losses.

What was in him so persistent and stubborn that managed to see the beauty despite all the ugly and hurtful things that the world could offer? What was able to love knowing he would surely lose? Maybe that was eternal optimist in him, the one that bounced off Boeshane carrying the big name 'Face of Boe' with ease, the one that always believed that the good and pleasurable would be able to erase the painful, like he managed to overcome his losses and put his guilt aside. He knew others weren't so good in carrying on and healing, like his father wasn't and that they would always resent him, his survival and ability to carry on in search for pleasure and love, to persist when he should have perish with many others. It was surprising how people would resent your life, especially eternal life. Eternal life wasn't all fun and games, Jack knew that well by now, but only thing that could keep you sane in it was the fun and games that you could get in your way.

It seemed Ianto didn't resent his life and deaths, and was ready to present fun and games without demanding things Jack couldn't produce. That made him easy to keep close by. Maybe that was the reason Jack didn't kick him out of bed or run off to find some chore. Instead he kept lying, caressing the sleeping man, letting his memories surface and vanish without the usual sharp end that they would bring with them, like regret and sadness. A warm body did wonders for his ability to recollect and keep in his mind a place for his loved ones that had passed without having to suffer the aftershocks of departure and leaving, guilt and loneliness. Maybe that was strangest of all. He didn't feel lonely when Ianto was around.

* * *

><p><em>Leave me a cookie. :)<em>


	163. Press the button

_A/N: here I am, sadly a everything slowed down, but I'm pressing on. Here is some Toshiko we hadn't heard from her for far too long._

_Spoiler alert: To the Last Man_

_Beta-ed by my dear beta TattoedLibrarian_

* * *

><p>Tosh went through her morning as usual, rushing to make it all in time. On her ordinary mornings she was like a clock, doing everything that was necessary, nothing more; this morning she made few things that were usually unnecessary so she had to cut it short. A look at her watch made her hurry up, she didn't want to be late, not today. She also didn't want to look crappy today either. It was something she did for Tommy, she looked her best. In beginning it was just because she was the one woman he would see and talk to, Suzie wasn't interested in talking; it was decent to look presentable for that talk. Later on she wanted to look good because she liked him; he was that kind of honest, simple guy you just wanted to like you. Surprisingly he did like her. She didn't give much in to it; after all he was a boy from her point of view, young and innocent. And that interaction was only one day a year for her. This was their fourth encounter. Before that there were others that were there when he woke up. Now it was her turn and she would make it as pleasant as possible for him before someone else took over. This morning she looked at herself in the mirror trying to establish just how much older she looked and wondered how it would look to him to watch her grow old daily, year at the time. It would be an interesting sight, but she was doubtful she would she enjoy it.<p>

It was nothing really, that little flirt of theirs, he was just a guy like that, likable. The first time she woke him up and found out that he hadn't gone out in years since they froze him she was appalled. For him that was weeks, but still, it was unnecessary, so she took upon herself to take him out and show him around. That turned out to be fun more than anything, to see the world as it changed before his eyes. He always had things he'd like to see so she got out to see them too.

For all of those things this was the day she was looking forward to; a fun day in the company of a young gentleman. And it was just that, with prospect for more until that box opened and revealed its contents.

She wasn't happy with that. She always hoped that someone else would find out what horrible and sad destiny Torchwood had in stored for him, because it was always those kinds of destinies that Torchwood offered. When she found out his destiny she hated Torchwood and Jack, the world was such unforgiving place sometimes. Watching Tommy facing it with his inevitable end, trying to hide his fear behind his calm front made her cross the line. Maybe she was useless and powerless before the demands of time and space, and decisions of dead Torchwood leaders, but she was still a woman with something to offer and she wouldn't send a soldier to his death just so with deck of played cards.

"He's not our prisoner. He doesn't have to stay here. Does he?" She challenged Jack to fight her. She almost wished it because that way she could disobey him, but he just shrugged his shoulders and let them go.

In her apartment there was no space for pretending what this night was so they emerged in it sharing love and despair between her sheets. Later on he lay on her shoulder looking so small and she felt like she was betraying him, but that was the way things were. His destiny was already laid, and although she hated her role in his sentence, the universe just didn't care about that. Things that balanced against that cold and barren place was the fact that maybe her destiny was also already laid out for her with same amount of cold necessity. The only difference was that it lay in the future, not the past so she didn't know it. Maybe Jack knew. If he did, she didn't envy him of that knowledge. It was truly a burden to know things like that.

In the morning she was still mad, especially because Tommy was so defenceless, so genuine, and she had to sacrifice him to the past. In the end she did what was necessary, there was no other choice, everything would fall apart because of that. It broke her heart when she had to use their last carefree afternoon to convince him to press the button and save them all. What remained with her when everything passed was the thing that comforted her. He would be executed anyway in that horrible year in the past, but because he got to go all the way into the future it gave him a few extra days his executioners would never know about; days in which he was pierced with needles and asked same questions, but in which he talked, smiled, and was his peaceful self, untouched with horrors of war. And she had an opportunity to give him something in the end, and he took it. Because of that maybe it was worth it, they cheated death for a few more days. And in the end Tommy got to be the handsome brave hero he wanted to be, not the coward they said he was. Maybe Toshiko would get that chance in the end; she wouldn't mind it that way.

* * *

><p><em>Leave a note, it does help to stay on course. <em>


	164. Facing death

_A/N: some of Tommy's world, he is the hero of the episode after all_

_Spoiler alert: To the Last Man_

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian_

* * *

><p>Tommy Brockless didn't think himself a brave man, but never thought he would be the one to be the coward. He learned the hard way that life can surprise you even of your own strengths. He just couldn't help it, the shock of flying bombs and death that was around every corner was too big for him to handle. Torn limbs, blood and screams didn't help either. He couldn't concentrate, let alone listen to orders. Everything was a blur, he had hard time hearing the voices of those around him, it seemed like the bombs were muffling all other sounds. He twitched and turned expecting one of those bombs to be at his side at any given moment.<p>

Then those Torchwood agents came and everything calmed down. He couldn't even remember what it was that he was so afraid of. They explained to him that he was needed and he accepted that. Maybe he'd be a hero at some end despite that inexplicable fear that raged through his chest.

He let them freeze his body and started to adjust to wild awakenings in which first seconds brought panic that he couldn't pinpoint. After his mind was fully awake he would answer their questions and spend some time awake. That was a dull time. Torchwood agents seemed cold, serious and unapproachable, so he just sat there waiting for the clock to tell him it was time to sleep again. He didn't mind sleep, not really. There he wasn't afraid. He didn't even mind the underground setting; it gave him a sense of security. They gave him something to read from time to time and he had to exercise for a bit, but that was all the entertainment he would get.

It was funny to observe how older the agents got every time he would be awaken. But that would never be a really old age; they would all disappear quite quickly from his point of view. He assumed they moved, or retired, he didn't really ask many questions.

When they would wake him there would always be at least three people around, a medic, a technician and their leader, usually even more than that. Apparently they didn't have many frozen people to wake and see how they react to coming back to life. Then one year he woke up to just one person.

"Relax, I'm Captain Jack Harkness, how are you today?" He smiled and Tommy smiled weakly back.

"Freezing" he answered and earned a big smile. Despite that smile Captain Jack looked sad and they spent remaining time in silence broken only by the standard short questions and answers. When it was time to go under he almost asked where the others were, but something stopped him, he sensed that he wouldn't liked the answer if he ever got one. As he fell asleep he wondered if it would be like this from now on, silence and solitude.

But the next time he woke up there was a new face to greet him, and this face was smiling the warmest, prettiest smile he had ever seen. He responded with a smile instantly and started to answer her questions with all the wit he could gather, he knew how to do that before the fear, to just court a beautiful woman. And Toshiko Sato, as he learned her name, was not just beautiful, but shy and honest, there was something warm about her, like he really interested her and not just as a test subject for a freezing process. That's why when she got angry at the fact he wasn't outside the Hub all this time; he let her take him out for a pint.

There was a tremor of fear as he exited into the daylight, but she interpreted it as excitement and took him to look around. Her chatting about all amazing things that happened to the city in the meantime made him forget his fear and relax enough to enjoy himself. Judging by her laughter and talking about her work and plans he was being quite charming.

He regretted when it was time to go under again, but Captain Jack stood there looking like the year before and he went without complaining.

To his excitement she was there next time he woke up smiling and with plans for city tour. There were more people this time, a short doctor, a lean woman in the back, but he paid no attention to them. Tosh was smiling. This time the city was even better and he felt like Tosh was trying to entertain him, like this meant to her something too.

On their third date, he saw it like a date now because she just glowed in front of him, the Hub was tidier, and there was a polite guy in a suit that gave them city maps that allowed him to lead the way. He was on the verge of kissing her, but his fear overcome him and the moment passed. He promised to himself he would be braver next time. After all he wasn't a coward, was he?

Fourth day came and she stood there like they were alone and it felt like they were. They sat down, war was still going on somewhere in the world, the sights of bombs disturbed him, but she was there and he got back to listening to her. In the end he did what dreaded him and kissed her. She backed away but he persisted. It seemed that something would happen, something normal and beautiful. Of course it swayed away in a second. Down there in the Hub they said his time had come and his fear came back. He tried to chase it away but as time passed it grew. Then she came and rescued him from it once again. She brought him to her home and let him love her. He was good at that, if the world only consisted of the things that demanded love he would never be at trial. Strange, he laid there in her bed feeling like he failed, like they judged him for not being strong enough, brave enough, but he couldn't remember the trial, like a dream hard to reach.

It must have been a dream because with her he felt like he could be anything, even the hero.

In the morning it was his time and he put on his pjs to save the world in them. He saw the humour in that, but humour had left him as the familiar sounds of bombs started to break though the time and space. As the sound grew stronger it was harder and harder to think, to remember the man that lay in her bed, the one that could be the hero. Only one that was left was a wreck of fear and tremor of a coward. He refused to go forward and do what was right, and he knew he had done that before. He didn't care about what that meant, or the disappointment he'd been, he cared only to stay alive.

Then she looked at him and pleaded for all their lives and he looked at her smiling eyes now all filtered with worry, stress and sorrow and he found last straw of clarity in the midst of his fears. He stood up determined to at least save her, when he crosses he'll hide somewhere, he'll run there, but here he'd do what was right for her. That kept him going to his bed in his past, but after he was back in bed all the memory of her started to fade. Those short hours of carelessness couldn't compete with weeks of horror, bombs, air strikes, blood, screaming and dying men around him. Soon he couldn't remember her face; it was covered with agony of those around him.

His anxiety held strong hold of him and his thoughts became blurry once again. He squeezed something in his hand but wasn't worried about what it was; it was just something he was holding.

Then a strange Asian woman started to talk to him. She looked familiar, but he couldn't concentrate to find a memory of her. Then she did most strange thing, she called him a hero. That seemed to lift off the fog of his mind for a second, for a minute his fear didn't make him hear only the sound of bombs. She called him a hero; he didn't understand why she did that, especially because everyone thought of him quite the opposite. He looked at the thing in his hand and did what she told him to do. Maybe that would turn off the sound of the bombs and make him invincible.

He turned the key, but to his knowledge nothing happened. The bombing continued, his fear continued. Later on a man and a woman came and took the thing he was holding. After that there was nothing left to hold on to, nothing to relate him to a brave man that the woman saw before her. She must have been mistaken, or more likely he dreamt about her.

After the air strike was over he could breathe more easily, but anxiety wouldn't leave him alone not for a second to remember something else, something he forgot, and somewhere where a war was just a small picture.

Finally there came a day where his cowardice would be properly punished. It was a peaceful day and he could think almost clearly. He could remember his trial, his fear, his failure, a girl he once thought he would marry but the war taught him he wasn't worthy of that. It was almost a relief to meet your own death, to know from what angle it would come. He didn't have to fear anymore unpredictability of it all. He accepted the blind fold, after all when you're being shot as a coward you don't have to pretend anymore that you could stand to stare at your own death.

In the darkness before death, as the platoon adjusted their guns the time seemed to slow down, and he could think calmly. In that serenity, a face of an Asian woman came to him again and he wondered who she was, how could he forget her? She didn't only call him a hero, but brave and handsome, and hers. Maybe, just maybe, she knew something he forgot; maybe he did something to earn those words. Maybe he wasn't the coward after all? With that thought he smiled and stood a bit taller.

* * *

><p><em>Sorry it took me so long for this chapter, but at the moment I'm not just myself so you'll probably have to wait for the conclusion some time. I'll try to finish at least this episode before my due date in late August, but I'll try to come back to finish it up as soon as I get back to being just myself. Thnx for reading.<em>


	165. Naming the feeling

_A/N: Hello again. It took me awhile to get back, but finally here it goes. Hopefully we'll wrap up this long story shortly and then maybe get to some distant future, if anyone would be interested in it. So here goes some Ianto sorting things out finally._

_Spoiler alert: To the Last Man_

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian (thnx for sticking around for a ride)_

* * *

><p>When the day came to wake up their frozen soldier Ianto felt different. Something mellow was inside of him. It took him awhile to admit to himself what it was exactly, that feeling. It had been growing inside of him for some time now, but he avoided naming it. Dodging its name became increasingly difficult as the day developed.<p>

Watching Tosh talking to Tommy and caring for him made the feeling all the more clearer. He enjoyed watching two of them. It corresponded with that mellow feeling inside. When the time shift began he could feel their sadness because he knew the sorrow that came with loss of love or even the chance of one.

That gave him the word for it, for his feeling. It would be stupid to pretend any longer, at least to himself.

When he finally named the feeling for his own thoughts he withdrew. Like he tried to hide his eyes from Toshiko in the moments when he looked at them too long, now he hid himself from his Captain. Luckily Jack had work to do and he wouldn't reprimand him the lack of attention and contact.

Now he understood why he tried to fiercely to establish some kind of distance to Jack, any kind, to keep his dignity. He was trying to avoid this feeling spreading across his chest and establishing a permanent camp on his grounds.

Of course all that was a futile attempt to make Jack less Jack. Because face it, he was just as his mother said, in love with the man for who he was and what that man did became less important, but he won't be her. Not ever. Even if he did feel that infamous feeling towards Jack, the one that made him crazy when Lisa was gone, it didn't mean he would ever be enslaved to it.

That was an easy thing to tell yourself when you're sitting alone on the Torchwood couch sorting things out. He knew that when Jack came into sight it would be impossible to hide such a feeling. But even if it's there, easy to see, it can easily be mixed up with similar feelings that are more acceptable. Like admiration, desire, respect, fondness, warmth. There were enough of those that could pass as casual enough not to alarm the dear old Captain. Because Ianto had no doubt that Jack would have big issues with dealing with such a declaring and claiming emotion. It was hard enough to make him act with courtesy throughout the day and stay a bit longer. To make him submit like that, or even just accept that Ianto is his to dispose of as he wishes.

That thought made him stand up and finish his chores. Everyone had left for the day to get some sleep, but he couldn't really go home with such load on his chest, because it was a burden to carry. A burden of desire to reach out and not just touch Jack, but to give in, to find what he needed the most and acquire it for him.

It wasn't just the question of his damn weakness in his body that could allow Jack to have him whenever he wanted, but a much larger scale of needing to be there, to envelope him into safety.

He knew he was just being silly. There was no safety for any of them. Tonight had been the night to show that more clearly than any other. That made him to go and find Jack, to see how he could behave now, to see if there is anything Jack has to offer to Ianto. Maybe the smile or a wave of his hand which would say go home, not now. That was the option he expected the most because he had seen the look on Jack's face that he had been moved by small romance before them too. For him it was a more entertaining sight, but still. Ianto still couldn't make out how Jack would respond, he could be sitting dwelling upon some sad memories.

Of course Jack knew he was approaching. He raised his voice not turning around. That could have been Ianto's cue to say 'I'll be going now', but his heart was somewhat drawn by his upright silhouette and his broad shoulders. So he lifted his shoulders knowing it wouldn't protect him much, that he was exposed as he could be, but he pressed forward ignoring Jack's banter, answering honestly. He would miss him.

He leaned on Jack's desk imposing on his personal space without invitation, knowing he was jumping in the unknown where welcome is uncertain. Jack's eyes looked in the past as he explained himself. Ianto nodded as he started to talk about his loved ones. Of course he had loved before, Ianto was sure he had loved a lot, he was that kind of a guy. But then there was a pause and Ianto instinctively looked up to find Jack's eyes staring at him, acknowledging him there in the line of love, like someone who belonged there, close, at the edge of his desk, poking into his inner turmoil.

"And I wouldn't change that for the world" he finished with conviction, transmitting some emotion through his eyes letting Ianto see that he was welcome here on the verge of seeing in him some similar emotion. Was it care, fondness, warmth, Ianto didn't care. It was enough. Enough to throw himself off that edge where it was harder and harder to keep his balance. Luckily Jack was an experienced hunter so he was there to catch him and to take everything that was offered. There was no hesitation in taking Ianto's offering so he poured in that kiss all that he felt, all that he was. Jack took it all.

Afterwards Ianto laid there amazed how he didn't feel fear now that he finally let go. After all, this was still Jack and he could disappear on him at any moment, but he didn't fear that anymore. Now the only thing that scared him was that he'd make Ianto sit on the side lines without the possibility to do anything real. That's why he tried to withdraw, but Jack simply held him.

"Stay" he pleaded and Ianto relaxed into his touch. He wasn't a part-time-shag anymore, and Jack did come back for him, he came back for something more than just few shags by the way.

Ianto understood that his feeling couldn't ever be reciprocated in the same amount, or meaning, because it was Jack, and besides his oldness and incapacity to die, he was always moving forward, pushing life to move along. And that was ok, because soon Ianto would be gone, his death, or something else, would be very soon for Jack. Ianto liked the fact that Jack would go on and do his thing somewhere else. That was comforting and it allowed Ianto to pour all the love that he had for Jack right now into him, he only hoped it would last long enough until someone else found him and loved him.

For now Ianto just let himself dive into his warmth while his fatigue caught up with him. As he fell asleep he decided that there was no need in telling Jack the name of this feeling. He can take care of Jack without burdening him with the responsibility to be his best self with Ianto. There is no need for that, not any more. Ianto could carry that burden himself. It's the least he could do for Jack.

* * *

><p><em>reviews, as always, are <em>_appreciated_


	166. Shag night

_A/N: here's some Jack finding a way to avoid conversation_

_Spoiler alert: To the Last Man_

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian_

* * *

><p>Morning came too soon for Jack. With it came guilt and responsibility. But he didn't dwell on it too deeply. He felt for Tosh and Tommy, he enjoyed their dance around each other before the shift began. Nothing was more soothing than the beginning of a relationship. Especially one that couldn't go anywhere but was predetermined to stay at the point where everyone seemed gentle and light, full of kindness towards space and differences in character that could end almost anything. When the day was done Tommy was gone and he felt sorry for Tosh, but that's the way their life was. That was the choice. It seemed harsh but Jack had left enough loved ones for the chase, job, or rescuing mission, that he thought it to be inevitable. It was just part of life; life in the Hub was just more demanding and removed from the people you could meet in a coffee shop.<p>

He knew Tosh would be here tomorrow chasing her task, making her brilliant solutions. She just needed to get through today. That's why he found enough work to keep her preoccupied through the week. As expected, she buried herself in her tasks and all he could see was her upright back as her fingers danced around her keyboard. Owen was quieter than usual throwing glances her way and that was just fine with Jack. After all it was Owen's job to keep them, not just fit, but sane too although he wasn't sure that little twat, as he sometimes said, was up for that job. At least he seemed less angry since Jack came back. The year that never was had taken some toll on his stubbornness against the future. Gwen was her cute self, she chased around wedding tasks as well as police reports. It seemed all was well.

That made Jack turn his gaze towards Ianto. Something was different about him lately and he couldn't pin point it. That troubled him, he didn't like surprises. All he needed was a sudden request for Retcon and permanent vacation. Not that he would be worried if that happened, he had his ways of persuasion and it proved that Ianto was not prone to resisting them. Well, maybe if he got too stubborn. But Jack was cocky enough to think that he would make Ianto stay. As Tosh worked on her Rift detecting techniques Jack was running around checking on the results. All he managed to do for Ianto was to smile as he grabbed his coat from Ianto's ready hands. Gwen was enough help for reconnoitre, the two of them out there; it was mostly just a wild goose chase anyway, sometimes literally. They gathered some strange looking alien bugs in the process, but after the last bug's tricks they handled them with care.

Ianto caught his gaze and just smiled at him before returning to his task. That made Jack really start to worry. It was a gentle looking smile. It shouldn't look like that, not after he didn't make any time for him for days now. That's why he decided to take action, starting immediately. He descended down the stairs in his usual swift pace. Ianto heard his approach and turned around to greet him with a smile. It wasn't a polite smile like the ones he used to throw around. It was a genuine smile, Jack learned to distinguish those. Jack stopped himself at arm's reach from Ianto. It took some effort to do that because for some strange reason it seemed more natural just to take one more step forward and take Ianto into a firm embrace. To prevent that from happening he shoved his hands to his pockets closing his palms into fists.

"You needed something sir?" Ianto broke the silence.

That made Owen swing his chair towards them. Jack threw disconcerted glance at him.

"Maybe biscuits Jack?" Owen spoke up with mocking in his voice. "We all like biscuits."

"That's exactly what I need" Jack grinned widely grateful for Owen's need to poke, he gave Jack simple way out of Ianto problem. He didn't need to think of anything deep or meaningful to say. "Cookies, water, pastries, thermos with hot coffee, chocolate, preferably dark." He turned his face towards Ianto and let his smile to become somewhat mischievous.

"When do you need it, sir?" Ianto took his writing pad, clicked his pen and casually took out his pocket watch to check the time.

Jack had to stifle a hard case of laughing out loud. The cheeky bastard was ready for the play on the spot.

"There's a stake out, it might take all night."

"Is that a code for shag night Jack?" Owen inquired tilting his head. "Couse if it is, it's very lame, and it's just bad taste to make Tea Boy run your errands."

"No, Owen" Jack didn't even turn around to look at him, he was busy watching Ianto's pen making notes on the pad, he wondered if he found that list of his, maybe they could find out some interesting facts about Jack's endurance. "Shag night would need proper food, something with a lot of stamina. There's an empty part of the road that's been misbehaving, but in a dull kind a way. It glimmers from time to time, but nothing happens. Do you want to spend the night with me in the car watching the pavement?" He offered with a menacing tone.

"No thanks" Owen swung his chair back around "unless there's a corridor of beautiful women walking the pavement, I have previous arrangements."

"What? With pint of beer" Tosh snorted.

"You know me so well" Owen answered cheerfully. "I have certain dose of relaxation that needs to be filled. Unless you order me to come?" He offered doubtfully.

"No, I wouldn't dream to stand between you and relaxation. Besides, it's me time, you would eat all my chocolate."

Ianto moved and started to open up cupboards making a stash of food.

"Double that" Jack instructed him.

"Who needs a diet when you can die your calories away" murmured Owen.

"Owen!" Gwen warned him off.

"He's not far off" Jack replied "this perfection is a reward for all the heartache."

"You know Jack, I would like to go…" Gwen voice trailed off.

"No worries" Jack waved his hand. "I'll keep myself occupied. You go and do your stuff, keep things together."

Ianto started to pack food into a backpack. Jack hesitated for a second wondering if Ianto caught his intention, or if there was a need for further instructions. Ianto lifted his gaze with slightly raised eyebrows silently commenting at his intentions. Jack looked at him doubtfully trying to decipher what Ianto thought. Ianto slightly nodded his head and that smile returned to his face softening his features. Jack took that as a yes and went back to his office.

That went well, Jack thought to himself, they'll sit there in comfortable silence and everything will be sorted out. If anything needed to be sorted out. Anyway, maybe it will be shag night after all. Jack wouldn't mind that.

* * *

><p><em>Do leave a note :)<em>


	167. Extortion

_A/N: here we go pushing along. Ianto is pushing too, but not the way you would like him to :)_

_No spoilers_

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian (Thnx for stopping Hercules from entering this chapter, don't know how I would justify him in the next one:)_

* * *

><p>Ianto was nervous about the stake out. It was their first time alone since he had realized the nature of his feelings towards Jack. He didn't like to say it too loudly, even in his own thoughts. It seemed silly and childish. But Jack was easy to distract and fool, he just needed to turn the conversation on Jack, Jack liked to tell his stories and now Ianto was interested in all of them. He wanted to know everything he could about his Captain Harkness. Especially after Tommy was gone. That made Ianto acutely aware how near loss was in their lives.<p>

Ianto got into the car after everyone was gone and Jack actually parked them in front of an empty road and started to stare at it intensively. Ianto looked at it too but soon enough he got bored.

"That's really the plan, to stare at the pavement?" Ianto spoke up finally.

"Yeah" answered Jack simply.

"Is this a test of patience?" continued Ianto, "cause I'm good at taking tests, but tests have to have some purpose, to show some ability. Is that it? Or it's just a random thing you've decided to do for the evening, because it sure isn't a date."

"I wasn't inviting you on a date" smirked Jack "you would have known if I did. It's a stake out, readings were strange; sometimes you have to wait to see something happen."

"I hate waiting" murmured Ianto.

Jack smiled, "I got accustomed to it" he said mildly still looking at the pavement. "I had to." That drove Ianto to the edge, he was too respectful of Jack and his privacy, true Jack was older, much older, a leader, a Captain, but he was also his lover, at least for the time being. He'd have to cut him down to size or he'd lose a way to handle him, and he did love to handle Jack.

"Ok, then a story, you still owe me a story about Greece and Achilles" he said bluntly.

"Not Achilles, Hector, I never knew Achilles, only saw him once from a distance, luckily we left before the bitter end."

"You and…" Ianto offered him.

Jack just smiled.

"You would make a good Paris, if a comparison is needed."

"A coward, thank you very much."

"Don't think of him in that way" Jack frowned. "True he was beautiful as he was remembered, but he was a fierce fighter with a bow and arrow, not all men are built for swords or axes."

"What were you doing there?" Ianto got back on track.

"Oh, the usual. Some drunken idiot went there and made a commotion, we had to save that timeline. Many things depended on that moment in time."

"Not like this one, nothing depends on this one" grumbled Ianto looking at the pavement.

"Don't be so sure" answered Jack seriously, "you never know what will set history in motion, besides maybe not in great scale things, but for me it surely will mean something."

"You're just saying that so I don't leave you alone to stare at that pavement." Ianto smiled a bit.

"But I brought cookies" Jack offered him one.

"No, I brought cookies" Ianto took it "you just told me to."

"See, I know how to order things around."

"Sure you can" sighed Ianto. "What are you hoping to see here?"

"Really don't know" Jack shook his head "it's just a feeling that there is something familiar and I'm missing it."

Ianto looked at that pavement for few moments.

"Nah, I don't have that feeling" he said seriously and got a flash of his smile in return. "I'm bored" Ianto deadpanned.

"What? I'm not entertaining enough anymore?" Jack smiled that confident smile of his.

Ianto pondered it for a moment.

"Maybe" he said indecisively "if you tell me a story."

"I felt the extortion coming" nodded Jack. "What story?"

"Hector's' story" answered Ianto simply.

"How did you sense there's a story involved?" Jack resisted.

"You don't just say things" Ianto smiled and patted him on his arm "there's always a story behind your little hints."

* * *

><p><em>Does <strong>Moffat<strong> read my story or is it just me? Would like your opinion but didn't that last sleep monster in Last Christmass looked allot like my Sleep fairies? It was even dark blue, with no hearing, seeing, smelling... I've noticed before that my sticky balls got turned into memory worms with almost none other change. It just seems like mine. It wouldn't bother me that much if he didn't use them in their nightmare mode. Is it just me, or can anyone see it too. You've been reading it so far, what do you think?_


	168. Vain enough

_A/N: still not sure will it be a shag night but things are going in the right direction. Hopefully we'll get to hear the story of Troy soon, I'm curious what will it be :)_

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian (thnx so much)_

_No spoilers._

* * *

><p>The pat reminded Jack that Ianto was someone he trusted, who proved himself many times. Maybe it would be fun to tell the whole story for once. The touch reminded him that there could be a reward at the end. He liked that reward, the last time it seemed different, like everything from touch to scents was deeper, like he could dive into this man. Like there was no pain between them, just soft skin.<p>

"Hector was a very proud man" Jack started abruptly "you could say his pride was so high, that he valued his own virtue too much, it ached him, it controlled every second of his life."

"That doesn't sound like you" Ianto interrupted him, frowning.

"No, luckily no, I thought myself as his stature kind of guy, athletic, more for a long, heavy sword than a light short one. And maybe more of a family guy than roamer lately."

"Family guy?" Ianto choked on a cookie.

"A spouse isn't only form of family" Jack patted him on the back "I consider myself to be a fatherly figure."

"No, not for me" Ianto recovered.

"Grandfather?" Jack offered him with doubt and got a gentle punch in the arm in return.

"Neither my father, nor grandfather were sexy in any way, or a bit charming" Ianto stated with dignity restored. "Do continue."

"Sexy and charming" Jack grinned widely "you can say Hector was that in his own calm way."

"Never got that vibe" answered Ianto.

"Do you want the story or not?" Jack got a bit irritated but that was easily dispersed by Ianto's devilish smile.

"I'm just establishing facts in their place. So sexy, charming Hector that had a family. Did you charm him?"

"Me? Hector?" Jack feigned innocence. Ianto gave him a glare so he added. "He was a very straight guy for an adventurous man."

"Maybe Achilles would be more down your lane" Ianto murmured.

"For him, they say that he was wildly devoted to his lover, I wouldn't go near that… or now I wouldn't. I was a different man then, but still…"

"You brought your wife with you" Ianto jumped in.

"Really?" Jack was surprised. "You'll play it that way, jealousy of something that happened thousands of years ago? I thought we've passed this."

"So he was there" Ianto smiled. "Although I want no reminder of him, I was curious. Was that your five year loop?"

"Luckily no, who knows what would be left to the history if he had his field trip there. No, there he spent most of the time drunk and in the middle of an orgy, and they had those. It was just the beginning of our partnership. I thought him to be crude and strange. Anyway the task was all left to me, what turned out to be usual thing."

"What was the task?"

"Ilirian was seen wandering about those timelines. He hid himself among the cities of Troy, he spent years there unnoticed, but before big clash of ancient civilisations he needed extraction."

"Couldn't he left on his own?" Ianto was intrigued.

"No, he was made of stone, you see, he needed someone to carry him out of there."

"Stone?" Ianto frowned. "What like an angel statue?"

"No, not angel" Jack jumped. "Fortunately not an angel statue. It was just a gargoyle."

"Why would that be better than an angel?" Ianto was sceptical.

"Never mind" Jack shook his head. "Even if it was it wouldn't be so bad for us, because this thing" he taped his wrist strap "so we would be ok. But a gargoyle is a tricky creature, mostly harmless but when it would be stranded in a place like ancient Troy it usually wouldn't get extraction team."

"Why did this one?"

"It presented time with enough trouble to get noticed" Jack smiled "he stole Helena from Paris and hid her. There was no way the Trojans would found her on their own. The whole war would be ruined."

"And it's such a shame to ruin a good war" Ianto shook his head ironically.

"This wasn't just any old war. This was the war of all times. History is made in a war like that. Generations learned what war was, what it price was, and what was to lose from it. It was a terrible war, but the memory of it shaped civilisations and prevented more wars than it provoked." Jack stopped himself noticing Ianto's expression. He couldn't read it. "What?"

"Nothing" Ianto shook his head and pressed his lips together "there is such sadness in you when you speak of war."

"Well I've seen my share of them. It's not pretty and it never gets better. It seems like only young men die in them, young good men. The ones you just hate to see go. And the stench of fear, sweat and blood, even the smell of freshly dug up ground becomes something bad. The gun powder, the smoke, and the constant noise. It's just all so big and beyond control. I can't believe there were times when I liked war, when I could profit from it and just prance around all proud, young and playful like nothing bad was happening around me. It angers me just to remember that person. I can't believe that was me, walking the streets of Troy, knowing the destiny of every single person in it and not caring. Looking at them like they were exhibits in some history museum. Examining who's hot enough to charm away."

Jack bowed his head surprised by pure emotion that poured from him. He rarely gave himself the luxury of expressing emotions. They usually would drag him in too deeply.

"Not really a conversation that leads into shag night" he tried to joke weakly but this was Ianto Jones, the one to see through him even when he said nothing at all, he doubted that it will be accepted.

"I don't know" Ianto answered playfully after a short pause. "I can't decide whether you're telling me the story just to get away from the Hector question."

Jack looked at him surprised.

"Why are you so convinced there is a story about Hector?"

"Don't know, I think I've discovered my personal voodoo master, but there's something fishy about that story. Besides I've never thought I'd hear that someone was good enough to be the likes of you."

"You think I'm that vain?" Jack objected but grin escaped him.

"Of course you are" Ianto said easily and then leaned forward and kissed Jack.

It was a short kiss but Jack was taken aback with it. To claim him so easily. It provoked hunger in Jack, quick and insatiable, but he restrained himself deciding this would be a shag night even if he had to pay for it with truth.

"Hector shamed me" he said quickly to get it out there, Ianto would keep searching if he didn't "he made me want to be a better man long before I made a real effort at it. It haunted me, what he did, for years before I met the Doctor. Maybe he was the reason I finally gave up the Time Agency few years after that incident."

"What did he do?" Ianto was intrigued now and there was no going back. Jack didn't like to tell that story but his hunger got even deeper because Ianto leaned back exposing his neck.

"I'll tell you" Jack growled finding a way to tell the story and not give in to past "but you'll have to sit on me while I'm telling it."

"Excuse me?" Ianto sat upright surprised.

Jack grinned knowing he'd hit the right cord getting back in their play that stood aside to long.

"I'm not asking of you to undress and let me savour you, although I would, gladly, but just to sit in my lap, now, dressed, I promise I won't take advantage of your position."

Ianto watched him for few seconds and then moved and after some manoeuvring sat in Jack's lap facing him. Jack relaxed in his chair adjusting his groin to Ianto's. It was such a nice feeling. It felt like they hadn't touched in ages. He just wanted to run his hands across Ianto's suit to his face but Ianto leaned backwards with an expecting face and Jack put his arms on Ianto's thighs.

"I was different man then" Jack began "always searching for fun, doing whatever was asked from me, not asking any questions. So when we found Helena hidden in some old forgotten tunnels we returned her to her new husband. Hector was there watching us and tried to find where we found her, who had taken her, and why. Of course my partner just laughed it off and went in search for his vices, but Hector got hold of me."

* * *

><p><em>Do review, it just makes me happy to find review message in my inbox. Love to all.<em>


End file.
